IT'S A LIVING Season 1 Episode 1 - Pilot
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00:00Life's not the French Riviera, believe me
00:07Life's not a charity ball
00:10It isn't all that great
00:13Big bed of roses
00:16It's not like showbiz
00:18But the main thing I'm proud to say
00:21We're not the people I'm proud to say
00:24Believe me, we know
00:26We're doing our part
00:29We may be less than we'll be
00:33But we're young and healthy
00:37And anyone who's young and healthy
00:42Knows that that's the way
00:47That traffic flows
00:51It's our living
01:00Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew
01:24When I bit off more than I chewed
01:30But through it all, when there was doubt
01:35I ate it up and spit it out
01:41I faced it all and I stood tall
01:47And did it my way
02:17Hi. How's it going? Studying hard?
02:19Oh, yeah, terrific. Really, really terrific.
02:22Good.
02:23This is the most fun I've ever had before a nervous breakdown.
02:26Uh, Jan, where...
02:28It's tomorrow, Lois. The exam is tomorrow.
02:31Oh.
02:32What am I doing in college?
02:34There's no way that I can raise a daughter,
02:36study all day, wait tables at night.
02:38I cannot do it, Lo.
02:40I'm not Jane Fonda.
02:43I just cannot handle two things at once.
02:46No wonder my husband left me.
02:49Jan, your husband left you for somebody he met at your wedding.
02:55Believe me, this is a man with problems.
02:58Hi.
02:59Hi.
03:00Hi, Desi.
03:02Hi.
03:03What's the matter?
03:04Uh, you came to work in your outfit, so?
03:06It is a little suggestive for street wear.
03:09Oh, please.
03:10I just saw a girl roller skating down Sunset Boulevard
03:13in three medium-sized baggies and a hat.
03:16So don't talk to me about being suggestive.
03:20Thanks for the lift, Manuel.
03:22Hi, Lois. Hi, Jan.
03:24Boy, what a day.
03:25My car overheated on the freeway.
03:27I got oil in my hair.
03:29My radiator leaked all over my dress.
03:31Yeah, well, try not to let it get you down.
03:35Hi.
03:36Hi.
03:37Pat, hi.
03:38How'd it go?
03:39Oh, it was terrific.
03:40I mean, it was incredible.
03:41Absolutely incredible.
03:42It was amazing.
03:43I don't believe it.
03:44Hey, you got the commercial.
03:45Well, maybe, maybe, maybe.
03:46I don't know.
03:47Maybe.
03:48I mean, they really liked me.
03:49I mean, they really, really liked me.
03:50So maybe.
03:51I mean, who can tell?
03:52They narrowed it down to four girls,
03:53and I'm one of them.
03:54Oh, honey, that's wonderful.
03:55Oh, just think.
03:56Next week, I could be the new Dodge girl.
04:00You got a better shot at being the new Dodge.
04:04Come on, girls.
04:05I think we better get moving.
04:06OK.
04:07Wait a minute.
04:08As I remember, you have an exam tomorrow.
04:10As I remember, there's still a dentist convention at the hotel.
04:13400 men flossing before coffee.
04:16Look, we covered for Dot yesterday.
04:18We'll cover for you today.
04:19Crack those books.
04:20You don't mind?
04:21Why should I mind?
04:22Last night, I got my teeth cleaned for free.
04:41You had a phone call.
04:42Someone named Brad.
04:43Brad?
04:44Yeah, he sounded like a nice guy.
04:45Oh, gosh.
04:47Oh, gee.
04:48Oh, gee.
04:49Oh, my goodness.
04:50Debbie Boone.
04:53What's the problem?
04:54Well, he wants me to go away with him for the weekend.
04:58What's up?
04:59Some clown wants to do a no-tell motel with a kid.
05:02Palm Springs.
05:03I mean, if I go.
05:05So, what does he do?
05:07His name is Brad.
05:08He's a pilot.
05:09I dated a pilot once.
05:11You dated everything once.
05:12Have you dated anyone twice?
05:16Yeah, once.
05:20I can't go away with him.
05:22Why not?
05:23Well, because I never went away with anyone before.
05:26Who are you, Heidi?
05:34Honey, come on.
05:35Come on.
05:36We're all a little nervous the first time we go off for a weekend with a guy.
05:39We are?
05:40Sure.
05:41I remember the first time I went away with somebody.
05:43He opened the door to the motel room, and there it was in the middle of the floor.
05:47The bed.
05:48Everywhere you looked, that's all you saw.
05:50We spent the first three hours pretending we didn't notice it.
05:53I hid in the bathroom for the first hour.
05:56You mean you went along with him?
06:03Dot, this was another time.
06:07Hello, ladies.
06:09Stay.
06:13And how are you this evening, girls?
06:15Fine.
06:16Good.
06:18Now, girls, I've noticed that lately a few of you have been putting on a little weight.
06:23Perhaps if you'd let us wear clothes instead of a rubber band, you might not notice it.
06:28I wasn't talking to you, Lois.
06:30Oh, good.
06:31I thought you were singling one of us out.
06:34Remember, girls, men want their women to be slim and racy.
06:38Nancy, I'm a waitress, not a schwin.
06:42Those of you who want a job here tomorrow, prove it.
07:01Oh, thank God that's over.
07:13We weren't such a bad group.
07:14Please.
07:15Four out of five dentists recommend I sleep with them.
07:18I'm not here.
07:19I'm here.
07:20I'm not here.
07:21I'm right here.
07:22Tell them I'm here.
07:23Yeah?
07:24I'm nowhere near here.
07:25Hold on.
07:26It's for you.
07:27Bye-bye.
07:28Tell them to call back in five minutes.
07:29Call back in five, hot shot.
07:33What am I going to do?
07:34He's going to want an answer.
07:36Honey, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do.
07:39There's more to a relationship than just sex.
07:44Is it because you just don't know him well enough?
07:46I've known him for three weeks.
07:48But you've never...
07:49No.
07:50You've been holding out for three weeks?
07:51Who is this guy, St. Francis?
07:54What am I going to do?
07:55A weekend in Palm Springs?
07:57Hey, it's the same as it is every other time,
07:59except you get to go swimming afterwards.
08:01Yes.
08:03I'm sure that's true.
08:05Only there hasn't been any other time.
08:11You've never...
08:13Never.
08:15It's the truth.
08:16I'm a virgin.
08:20Yeah, well, that makes 47 of us,
08:22including the Osmond family.
08:27Vicki, there's nothing wrong with being a virgin.
08:32Honey, there's nothing to be ashamed of.
08:34We're all virgins until the first time.
08:37That's deep.
08:40Lois, do you remember your first time?
08:43Oh, sure.
08:44It was everything I'd ever heard it was.
08:46He was sweet and caring and attractive.
08:49Well, he was so terrific.
08:50What happened?
08:51I married him.
08:54What about you, Jan?
08:56All the way through high school,
08:57I was crazy about this same guy,
08:59basketball star.
09:00We promised each other
09:01we'd wait until after graduation,
09:03but of course we didn't.
09:05He was kind, gentle.
09:08One night he told me he loved me
09:09more than anything else in his life.
09:12He soothed me, relaxed me.
09:15It was wonderful.
09:17We promised each other
09:18we would reveal our sacred night together.
09:21That's beautiful.
09:23The next day there was a banner
09:24across the boys' gym.
09:25Jan Hoffmeier does it.
09:30A very sensitive young man.
09:33He became a priest.
09:36Must have been a wonderful experience for him, too.
09:44I can't go through with it.
09:46Vicki, if you don't want to do it,
09:47then don't.
09:48I don't know if I don't want to do it.
09:51If he spends more than $40 on dinner,
09:53you're required to by law.
09:56Oh, no!
09:58Vicki, you can always say no.
10:01Right.
10:04Thanks.
10:07Hi, uh, listen, I've thought it over,
10:09and, uh, there's something
10:10that you ought to know about me.
10:12I've never slept with anyone before.
10:14I'm a virgin.
10:16What?
10:18Jan, it's your mother.
10:28Hi, Mom.
10:31No, she's serious.
10:47So, where is she?
10:49She shouldn't be back here by now.
10:50Jan, Palm Springs is two hours away.
10:52Vicki, you'll be just fine.
10:53Don't worry.
10:54I just hope nothing bad happens.
10:56If nothing happens, it was bad.
10:57If anything happens, it had to be good.
10:59What if something happens
11:00and it wasn't so good?
11:01Never happen.
11:02Even when it's bad, it's good.
11:05Here, here, come here, come here.
11:07What?
11:10Oh, my, who is your friend?
11:12Oh, I found him dodging cars
11:13on the Santa Monica freeway.
11:14I was afraid he was gonna get hit,
11:15so I picked him up.
11:16Oh, well, you better not let Nancy see him.
11:18Oh, I had to take him
11:19to the audition with me.
11:20The producers were not amused.
11:21What happened?
11:22Well, everyone smiled and said,
11:23oh, what a cute little puppy,
11:25and the producer said,
11:26okay, let's see what you can do,
11:27and the dog showed him.
11:30Nancy.
11:31Hello.
11:33Oh, hi.
11:34Right, I'm a little late.
11:36Uh, I'll make it up to you.
11:37Uh, I'll paint your house.
11:42Lois, would you excuse us
11:44for a few minutes, please?
11:45Oh, of course.
11:46I was just leaving.
11:47Hi.
11:48Hi.
11:49Janet, do you remember
11:50that little incident
11:51that happened on table 12
11:52Thursday night?
11:53Vaguely.
11:54Yeah, well, they're back.
11:55Fine.
11:56You wait on them.
11:58Their companies
11:59do a lot of business with us,
12:00and I want you to apologize to them.
12:02Apologize?
12:03To the man that pinched her?
12:04I also think it would be nice
12:05if you brought them
12:06a round of drinks.
12:07Forget it.
12:08Then I break in a new girl.
12:10Nancy, that's not fair.
12:12Having people cover for her,
12:13is that fair?
12:14Coming to work bleary-eyed
12:15after studying all night,
12:16is that what you call fair?
12:18Oh, no, no.
12:19No, I think we've been
12:20more than fair.
12:22That's how I stuff the old tomato.
12:24How do you stuff it?
12:31Well, here's one of our own
12:33lovely little lovelies.
12:35Let's have a warm round
12:36of applause for...
12:38Dot.
12:40Sonny would never be blue
12:41if he could spend
12:42the night with you.
12:44Because when Sonny
12:46gets blue...
12:52Thank you.
12:54Gentlemen, you remember Janet.
12:56Oh, well, how do you do?
12:58Gentlemen, Janet has brought you
13:00this round of drinks,
13:01and would like to apologize
13:03for her behavior the other night.
13:05Isn't that true, Janet?
13:08I am very sorry
13:10about the way that I acted.
13:11It was rude,
13:13and unprofessional,
13:14and I'd just like to say...
13:18That's it!
13:20Get up!
13:21And get out!
13:22And you, too!
13:24Come on!
13:25Get out of here!
13:26Come on, let's move it!
13:27That's right!
13:28Up and out!
13:29And stay out!
13:31I know!
13:32I know.
13:33Oh, don't say a word.
13:34No, no, don't say a word.
13:35I'll just go clean up my locker.
13:37Hey, I'm gone.
13:38No, no, no, no problem.
13:40Listen, it will take a minute.
13:42I'll have one of the girls
13:43bring back my uniform in the morning.
13:44I don't know how to say it.
13:45I suppose a glowing reference
13:47is out of the question, huh?
13:48Never.
13:49Okay, yeah, that's what I figured.
13:50Well, listen,
13:52I won't mention your name
13:53at the unemployment office.
13:54Well, uh...
13:57How about does it unpacked?
14:01So long.
14:04Kiss the girls goodbye for me, huh?
14:07I have never experienced
14:09anything like that in my life before.
14:11And then you...
14:12I guess throwing them out into the street
14:13was unaccountable and irresponsible.
14:15Yes, yes, it was.
14:17You should have beaten
14:18the living hell out of them first.
14:21Janet, I...
14:23I'm sorry.
14:24It isn't easy for me to say this,
14:26but, uh, I am sorry.
14:32Uh, look, uh,
14:34maybe you could drop by my house
14:36sometime this afternoon
14:37and we could have lunch, you know,
14:39and chat and...
14:40Oh, that would be very nice.
14:42And I could teach you how to wear makeup.
14:47Thank you, Nancy.
14:53Hey, is everything okay?
14:55Oh, did you get fired?
14:56Can I have your locker?
14:58Everything's okay.
14:59Everything's wonderful.
15:02Oh, good.
15:04Hello?
15:05It's my agent.
15:07Yes?
15:08Yes?
15:10What?
15:12Oh.
15:13Oh, sure.
15:14No, that'll be fine.
15:16Bye.
15:18Well?
15:19He got the commercial.
15:20The dog got it.
15:24The dog's gonna be the new Dodge girl.
15:27They like the dog,
15:28so they hired him
15:29for a dog food commercial.
15:31Well, Dot, that's wonderful.
15:33It is?
15:34Sure, she's gonna make a lot of money.
15:36True.
15:37Maybe I'll get to meet Lorne Green.
15:42Hi.
15:43Vicki, hi.
15:44Well, did ya?
15:46Cassie.
15:47I had a very nice time.
15:49Good.
15:50Well, uh, how was it?
15:52How was what?
15:53Itch.
15:55Oh, real nice.
15:57They had paddle tennis.
15:58I never played paddle tennis.
16:00Vicki, we're not talking paddle tennis.
16:03We're talking grit.
16:05How was it?
16:07Incredible.
16:08May I ask where all my waitresses are?
16:11Dot's dog got a commercial.
16:13And Vicki lost her Lorenzo.
16:15Oh, well, check with the bartender.
16:17Maybe somebody turned it in.
16:26Vicki, what's the matter?
16:29I don't know.
16:33You wanna talk about it?
16:35Was it disappointing?
16:37It was wonderful.
16:38I had a great time.
16:40And I think I love him.
16:43Then why are you so unhappy?
16:46Because I have the feeling that he's never gonna wanna see me again.
16:54Sweetie.
17:01Honey.
17:02Honey, honey, honey, listen.
17:04The reason he called you squirrel face is because he likes you.
17:09Well, yeah, that's how 13-year-old boys are.
17:11So why don't you just, yeah, just apologize to him
17:14and tell his mother I'll buy him a new retainer.
17:17All right.
17:18Kiss your brother for me and tell daddy I won't be late.
17:20All right, sweetie.
17:21I love you.
17:22Ah, young love.
17:27Vicki, hi.
17:28Hi, Vicki.
17:30Nothing, huh?
17:32No.
17:33Listen, there's probably a hundred very good reasons why he hasn't called.
17:37Sure, I mean, the guy's a pilot.
17:39Maybe he forgot what city he lived in.
17:41They all look alike from up there.
17:44I'll cover the tables.
17:49Why don't you just call him?
17:51Call him? Me call him?
17:53Never. I have my pride.
17:55Then he has your Lorenzo.
18:00You do not have pride.
18:02Right now what you have is self-pity.
18:04If you had any pride, you'd pick up the phone and say,
18:06hey, what the hell's going on here?
18:08You really think so?
18:09Absolutely.
18:12Good.
18:24It's ringing.
18:25It's ringing.
18:28He's probably not even...
18:29Hello, Brad?
18:30Vicki, hi.
18:31How are you?
18:33Good.
18:34I'm okay, too.
18:37Oh, oh, um...
18:39Well, when you didn't call, I wondered...
18:44Right.
18:45Well, as long as you're okay.
18:49So, uh...
18:50Right.
18:52Well, I hope I run into you, too, sometime.
18:55Bye.
19:03Oh, hey.
19:05You did good.
19:06I don't feel good.
19:08Now you were terrific.
19:09Listen, listen.
19:11No matter what you feel right now,
19:14what happened to you was very special.
19:18Oh, Lois, that's just it.
19:20Nothing happened.
19:21What do you mean?
19:22I mean nothing.
19:24Well, no wonder he split.
19:26Poor guy was beating a dead horse.
19:33I just couldn't.
19:35I mean, as crazy as I was about him,
19:38I don't know.
19:39It just...
19:40It didn't feel right.
19:42Oh, Lois, I feel so dumb.
19:45Dumb?
19:47Honey, you listen to yourself.
19:49That's not dumb.
19:50Believe me.
19:51Somehow that doesn't help.
19:54Look, when I left for my weekend,
19:57I mean, I knew it was right.
19:59It wouldn't have made any difference
20:00what anyone else said or felt.
20:03He was the one,
20:04and when that time comes for you,
20:06you'll know.
20:07How?
20:10I can't tell you that.
20:11Nobody can.
20:13You just gotta trust yourself
20:15and your feelings,
20:16because when it feels right,
20:18it'll be wonderful.
20:21And if the guy's worth a damn,
20:22he'll wait.
20:24Oh, Lois, I love you.
20:28You're kidding.
20:31I love all of you.
20:33Excuse me.
20:34I realize you're going through
20:35a heavy thing and everything,
20:36but I'm dying out here.
20:50It's a Living is videotaped
20:51before a studio audience.
20:54So take a seat
20:55and give each one
20:57who's young and healthy
20:59knows that that's the way
21:05that traffic flows.
21:08It's a living.
21:24It's a living.