Frasier Season 3 Episode 5 Kisses Sweeter Th An Wine (1)
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00:00Ross, who's our last caller?
00:03On line two we have Marilyn. She's feeling a little homesick.
00:07Go ahead, Marilyn.
00:09Well, I like living in Seattle, but I don't know, I grew up in this little town in Wisconsin and I really miss that life.
00:18Well, you're not the only one. My producer Ross has regaled me with many stories of the great dairy state.
00:26You're from Wisconsin, Ross? What part?
00:29Bloomer?
00:30Oh my god, I'm from Menominee!
00:33Oh my god!
00:34No way! You're from Menominee? My cousins are from Menominee. Do you know the Rayburn?
00:39Isn't that me?
00:40Billy Rayburn is your cousin? I used to work with him at Bell's Frozen Custard!
00:46Of course she did.
00:47Do you remember that guy that used to run the store? The guy with all the moles?
00:51Mr. T.T.!
00:55Ladies, as fascinating as this is, I'm afraid we're out of time.
01:03That's okay, Marilyn. You can call back tomorrow.
01:06Be sure you're all tuned in tomorrow for part two in our series, Women of the Cheese Belt.
01:16Goodbye for now, and good mental health.
01:20These messages came for you earlier. Your wine is ready.
01:24Oh, excellent! You know, I'm hosting a tasting tonight for the wine club miles that I belong to.
01:30I'm hoping they name me the maitre d'che. It's a long-standing dream of mine to wear that silver cup around my neck.
01:38You know, back in Wisconsin, if a guy wore a cup around his neck, it meant he ticked off the gym teacher.
01:46Fine. Make sport, but this does happen to be important to me.
01:50Since when? You used to say that club was nothing but a bunch of arrogant, corksniffing snobs.
01:56Well, that was before I got in.
02:00Well, when I'm handing out bologna sandwiches this weekend at the homeless shelter,
02:04it will do my heart good to know that a bunch of wealthy men are swishing $200 bottles of wine and spitting it into silver buckets.
02:13Well, it's not like we don't recycle the bottles.
02:26What are they on? Tins of six?
02:29What are they on? Tins of six?
02:45Big, full-bodied, perhaps a bit baked.
02:50Essence of truffles, long-finished, Chambertin 76. Bravo, Frazier!
02:58If only your aim were as accurate, Will.
03:02How is it those same taste buds can't tell the difference between me pot roast and me flank steak?
03:08Considering you learned to cook in England, it's a wonder I can tell your flank steak from a braised tennis ball.
03:15Now, now, let's move on to the number seven.
03:19All right.
03:24Ah, touchable.
03:26A hint of current.
03:29Whisper of...
03:31What is that? What is that? Ah, ah, yes! Wet dog!
03:36You guys still playing that stupid game?
03:39Dad, wine tasting is not a stupid game. It's a highly refined skill.
03:43Yeah, I just saw a couple of guys on the corner practicing out of paper bags.
03:51We are hardly winos. Very distinguished people belong to our club.
03:56The mayor, the commissioner of public safety, the chief of surgery at St. Luke's.
04:02Oh, just the people I'd want walking around all liquored up.
04:07Couldn't you find room for a school bus driver and a couple of air traffic controllers?
04:13Well, we could if they had impeccable taste.
04:18Which reminds me, Dad, I have a favor to beg.
04:22Would you mind if I moved your chair into your room until after the tasting?
04:26Forget it. You might as well ask me to stay in my room.
04:29Which takes care of the second favor.
04:36Oh, all right. Go ahead. Move it.
04:39At least you don't have to spend the night looking at your society pals getting tanked.
04:44All right, Nas, come on. Grab an end.
04:50Oh, you're serious?
04:53You know I don't lift.
04:55Yeah, with that stick where it is, I'm surprised you can bend.
04:59Start hoisting.
05:02Come on.
05:04All right.
05:06Oh, Tom.
05:09This room?
05:10Yes.
05:11Oh, God.
05:12No, no.
05:13Don't drop it. Don't drop it.
05:14Hey!
05:15Oh, my God.
05:17You better be talking about the floor.
05:19Oh, well, of course I am.
05:21Oh, for Pete's sake. Just one scratch.
05:24Give me a yellow magic marker. I'll color it in. Nobody will know the difference.
05:30Dad, you have no idea how critical these people can be. They love finding fault.
05:34We could put a rug over it.
05:40A rug? Where a rug doesn't belong?
05:44Why don't we just throw down a twister, Matt? Have a few rounds between vintages.
05:51Steady, Frasier. There's still hope.
05:53I'll bring my contractor by in the morning. Man's a genius.
05:57You know, it's time you boys learned everything doesn't have to be perfect.
06:00Yes. It's that kind of advice that leads to shag carpeting.
06:11Ah.
06:12Good morning, Daphne. Extra canned cake for me this morning? I'm famished.
06:16Yes, well, you should have thought about that last night before you started making cracks about English cooking.
06:23I have hung up my spatula.
06:27Well, you moved my chair. You cut off my pancake supply.
06:32Why don't you just back out over Eddie on your way to work, making a hat trick?
06:40And a hat trick would be?
06:42That's in hockey where one...
06:44Enough said. Thank you.
06:49Hi.
06:50Morning, Frasier. I'm delivering one miracle worker as promised.
06:53Joe DiCarlo. Frasier Crane.
06:55It's a pleasure. And my father, Martin Crane.
06:57Hi, Joe. So where's the scratch?
06:59What? You mean you can't see it?
07:01Well, we're going to put some orange cones around it so nobody would fall in.
07:09It's right here.
07:14I can get rid of that.
07:15It has to be done by five. My guests arrive at seven.
07:19So it has to be a firm five, not a 5.15, not a 5.30.
07:22I'll have it done by noon.
07:24Splendid.
07:25I told you he was good.
07:27We're talking about a man who's satisfied Maris.
07:30Something that's still regrettably on my to-do list.
07:37Coffee's ready.
07:39Of course. I'm sure it'll taste like the old bathwater to you.
07:43You know how it gets, all grey and scummy around the edges with little flecks of...
07:49Oh, hello.
07:50Hi.
07:52Hello.
07:55I'd love some coffee, Daphne.
08:02Mmmmm, Daphne.
08:07Uh, Daphne, this is Joe DiCarlo.
08:09Joe, this is Daphne. She helps me out around here.
08:12Smells great. Colombian?
08:14Oh, no. English.
08:18The coffee. Costa Rican.
08:22Would you like a cup?
08:24Yeah, thanks.
08:25I'll be right back.
08:28He's adorable.
08:29Top meal.
08:30Plate of pancakes?
08:31Deal.
08:34You know, Joe, Daphne's a great gal.
08:37Oh, yeah.
08:38And you know, she doesn't always go around in that ratty old bathrobe.
08:41Oh, no.
08:42She cleans up real cute.
08:43Oh, yeah.
08:46You don't have to convince me.
08:48You know, I think Dad's right.
08:50You don't need to fix that scratch. It adds character.
08:52Come, Joe.
08:55Niles, forget it.
08:58Honey bun?
08:59Yes.
09:00Oh.
09:02Albert, would you like one of these with your coffee?
09:05Oh, I'd love one.
09:07Oh. Anything else?
09:09No.
09:10Sugar?
09:11Yes.
09:13I meant in the coffee.
09:15Oh.
09:19You know, Maris is quite a good cook.
09:22Oh, yeah.
09:23She's a great cook.
09:24She's a great cook.
09:25She's a great cook.
09:26She's a great cook.
09:27She's a great cook.
09:28She's a great cook.
09:29She's a great cook.
09:30Maris is quite keen on gutting my library to make more space for her hats.
09:36Why don't you come home with me,
09:38and you can send one of your men over to do this little job.
09:41Bruce would be good.
09:43The large sweaty gentleman with the chili dogs on his breath.
09:47Niles, Joe is here already, and we do have a deadline.
09:51But don't you think it would be prudent...
09:53Niles, it's settled.
09:54That's great.
09:55Because I'm kind of anxious to get at her.
09:58I'll just bet he is the test...
10:00Testosterone-driven...
10:02Niles! Niles!
10:04He's talking about the scratch.
10:06Oh, I knew that.
10:09I mean, I know that.
10:11I mean, watch him.
10:20Someone remodeling?
10:22Nope.
10:23Bad wiring in one of the condos.
10:25Well, I hope you gentlemen won't be working this evening.
10:28I'm entertaining some very important guests.
10:30You know how sound travels in this building.
10:33Can't make any promises.
10:35We're here as long as this poor sap is willing to pay us.
10:51What is happening?
10:53What is happening?
10:55Hold it down, guys.
10:57Sorry about this, Dr. Crane,
10:59but when I plugged in the sander to start on the floor,
11:02you blew a circuit.
11:04So, naturally, you're sawing a hole into my wall.
11:08And the circuit blew at the start of the fire.
11:10You got some real bad wiring in here.
11:12Right. How long?
11:13A couple hours.
11:15Now, a couple is vague.
11:18That would mean the big hand would be on the 12
11:20and the little hand would be on the 4.
11:23Oh, the 4. Well, the 4 is okay. Fine.
11:26Thank you.
11:27And you know the fire?
11:28Eddie smelled it first.
11:30Oh, well, he's a regular canary in a coal mine, isn't he?
11:37My God, what's going on?
11:39Don't ask, Niles.
11:40Oh, I see you've got the room and he can't take.
11:43Yes, but unfortunately, they only had the one bottle.
11:46Oh, that's funny. The importer told me he had two.
11:48Really? How strange.
11:56You know, if I didn't know you better,
11:57I would swear that you had squirreled one away for yourself.
12:01But then we both know that there must be telling the truth
12:05because you're such a slave to your ethics
12:07that even the slightest transgression would cause your nose to bleed.
12:15Which it isn't.
12:18You just sniffed.
12:20I didn't sniff. It was a snort of contempt.
12:24A snort is out that was in.
12:28Oh, all right.
12:30The other bottle's in the car in my bowling bag.
12:32Thank you.
12:35You have a bowling bag?
12:38Yes. Maris and I have taken to giving each other gag gifts.
12:44I gave her a cookbook.
12:49Oh, you who?
12:52I, uh, noticed how your shirt was clinging to your back.
13:00I thought a glass of iced tea might hit the spot.
13:03Oh, thanks, Steph.
13:05Oh, I got a spark.
13:09Me too.
13:10That's just static electricity from the carpet. It can happen to anyone.
13:14I'll show you.
13:16I'll spit.
13:24Stop poking me!
13:29Should I put these little fingery foods for tonight in the fridge?
13:32Oh, yes, please. The brie is sweating up a storm.
13:35Let me help you with those.
13:37No, Stephanie, let me help you.
13:39Excuse me, Bruce.
13:40Wow, jeez!
13:41Spark! Spark! Did you see the...
13:47Well, I will be back after work at 5.30.
13:52I hope I have your word that my apartment will be perfect by then?
13:57You're a king.
13:58All right, all right. Think before you answer.
14:01This is not like marriage vows or a promise to a dying parent.
14:04This really, really counts.
14:08You have my word.
14:10Thank you.
14:12Man, I am sweating like a pig.
14:14I gotta air myself out.
14:16Hey, hold the elevator, will you?
14:17I'm sorry, I need this nose tonight, thank you.
14:24You don't have to keep feeding these men.
14:26Actually, Maris finds they work faster if you keep them hungry.
14:30Well, I don't.