Frasier Season 10 Episode 13 Lilith Needs A Favor
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00:00Sorry. I'm a nervous flyer.
00:11Yes, I see. Oh, you're white as a sheet.
00:16Actually, I'm always this pale.
00:21My ex-wife used to say she could tell when I was embarrassed because I'd turn off-white.
00:29I can empathize. Sometimes after a late night, I've covered my under-eye circles with liquid paper.
00:39So are you traveling to Seattle for business or pleasure?
00:43Both, hopefully. Relocating for work. How about you?
00:48I need to ask an old friend for a favor.
00:52It's a long trip just to ask for a favor.
00:55It's a big favor.
00:58Well, I hope your friend complies.
01:01It'll take some work, but I'll get what I want.
01:06Oh, dear. You two look awfully pale.
01:11Can I bring you something?
01:13Not unless you have any extra melanin lying around.
01:20You should be a comedian.
01:22I thought about it.
01:34Dad?
01:35Dad, Dad, what? Are you hiding?
01:42I heard the key in the door. I thought Lilith might be with you.
01:47What's she coming for, anyway?
01:49Well, I don't really know. She said she was flying across the country to ask me about something that was important.
01:56She's being very mysterious about it.
01:59Is that her?
02:00Well, no. No, Dad. I'm not seeing her until tomorrow.
02:03Well, let me know when she's coming, will you, so I can come up with an excuse to clear out because I'm not good at winging it.
02:11Oh, Lilith. Hi.
02:15Look who's here, Dad.
02:17Hello, Martin.
02:21Oh, time to go practice my signature.
02:27Please, come on in, Lilith.
02:29So, I didn't think I was going to be seeing you until tomorrow.
02:32Yes, I know that was the plan, but I just had to stop by on my way to the hotel.
02:37What I'm here to talk to you about is not something one just drops on another person.
02:43Please.
02:48Frasier, recently a subconscious yearning has tunneled its way to the surface, and I now know what it is I need in order to make my life complete.
03:05Well, that's wonderful news. How can I help?
03:08You can give me your sperm.
03:20I beg your pardon?
03:24I want to have another baby.
03:26Well, you certainly don't need me for that. Surely, someone in Boston must have sperm.
03:35I came to you first so that Frederick could have a full sibling.
03:39So, just like that, we're going to have another baby together?
03:42No, no, not just like that. I mapped out our dominant and recessive traits on a genome square, applied Mendel's laws, allowed for anomalies, and concluded that you are the best biological choice.
03:59I see. Well, as enticed as I am by your honeyed words, I'm going to need some kissing.
04:13Frasier, don't misunderstand. I'm not proposing any change in our relationship.
04:18Would we sleep together?
04:21I thought we'd freeze your sperm.
04:26Is that a yes or a no?
04:37Natural fertilization isn't practical. I'd have to fly to Seattle every time I ovulate.
04:43Right, okay. So then your plan is for me to visit some local doctor, freeze my essence, and then bring it home with you?
04:54Correct. I'll take mine to go.
05:01I don't know. I'm going to have to think about it.
05:05Yes, of course. Absolutely. Think about it, and you can give me your answer tomorrow.
05:10Okay.
05:13You can come back from around the corner now, Martin.
05:18Good night, Lola.
05:20Good night.
05:27You were eavesdropping?
05:29It was an accident, and I only heard the part about her wanting to have another baby with you.
05:35She completely threw me.
05:37Well, I don't know why you're so surprised. She's seen what the Crane genes can do, and she's coming back to the well.
05:48How does one respond to something like that?
05:50Well, I bet if you say no, she'll go to Niles.
05:53She's just so self-centered. She's got this all figured out for herself without the slightest consideration for my life.
06:00And Niles will say no for sure.
06:05Which means only one thing.
06:10She'll come to the source.
06:13Me.
06:16The Fountainhead.
06:20What?
06:21Can you imagine? Lilith's and my kid would be brothers to you and Niles and Freddy.
06:28What are you talking about?
06:32And if you and Lilith got back together, you'd be his stepfather and his brother, and Niles would be your son and his own uncle.
06:46It's almost worth doing just so that I can tell the story.
06:56Oh, hi, Niles. Did Daphne and her mom get off okay?
06:59Uh, yes. They picked up Roz and Alice an hour ago.
07:02Although how they're going to get all the way to Canada without killing each other, I don't know.
07:07Why did they have to go so far?
07:09Well, uh, that was my idea. I read that Canadian Fun Country is one of the best amusement parks in southeastern British Columbia. Huh?
07:17Well, just saying Daphne's mom should be careful, you know.
07:20If you're here on a temporary visa, sometimes people have a difficult time getting back into the country.
07:25That hadn't occurred to me, Frasier.
07:30Well, seeing as how you're single, I'd invite you to join me for dinner, but I'm meeting with Lilith tonight on the matter of some delicacy.
07:37Uh, Dad told me.
07:39Now listen, don't feel obligated because she's buying you dinner.
07:47Truth be told, Niles, I haven't ruled it out entirely.
07:51It would be nice to have another child.
07:54And Lilith is a wonderful mother.
07:58It's just that, well, is it right to create a human being with a woman to whom you couldn't stand being married?
08:06Well, I'm behind you whatever decision you make.
08:10The right one or the crazy one.
08:15Excuse me, may I have an espresso?
08:17And what have you got here?
08:19Oh, snapshots from last summer at the beach.
08:21Daphne finally got them developed.
08:25There's Dad eating that hot dog he dropped in the sand.
08:30And you in your linen beach ensemble.
08:36Well, that's strange.
08:37Daphne said I'd particularly like the last picture on the roll, but what is it?
08:44It's hard to tell. It's too dark and blurry.
08:47Looks like the eye of Jupiter.
08:49Or a slice of pepperoni.
08:52Is it a flying saucer?
08:54Yes, Niles, it's a flying saucer.
08:57Mystery solved. Well done.
08:59Thanks.
09:00Hey, where'd you get the nipple shot?
09:07Good lord.
09:11You ought to erase that from your mind.
09:14Is it Daphne?
09:16Nice.
09:17You're not erasing. Erase!
09:24I need to stop again.
09:26We just stopped. I told you not to get that big gulp.
09:30But it was only ten cents more.
09:32Punch Spiky Blue.
09:34Ow, damn it.
09:36Language.
09:37Why does she keep doing that?
09:39It's a game.
09:41It hurts.
09:42All right, Moon.
09:44There's a gas station right there. I really need to stop.
09:47I can't get over. You'll have to wait.
09:49But according to this, my bladder is holding 32 ounces of soda.
09:55It's only 40 miles.
09:58Punch buggy win.
10:00Oh, son of a language.
10:02Alice, honey, stop hitting Mrs. Moon.
10:07She can't take the punch buggy game.
10:10Oh, really?
10:12Punch buggy white.
10:14Ow!
10:15It was a jeep.
10:17I played the jeep.
10:19And Ford. Punch buggy Ford.
10:23All right, that's enough.
10:25You stop it or no one's going to Canadian Fun Country.
10:30And this time, I mean it.
10:33Ah!
10:37Sorry, I thought you were on the wrong side of the road.
10:40I will never get used to the crazy way you drive over here.
10:44Mom, you have to stop doing that.
10:48Daphne, you seem stressed.
10:51Do you want me to drive for a while?
10:53Maybe once we get out of Seattle.
11:01Frasier.
11:03I don't want to rush you, but the suspense is too much to bear.
11:08Have you decided?
11:10I'm thinking about the linguine.
11:15I see.
11:17It's no, then, isn't it?
11:22I'm sorry, Lilla.
11:24This was a very difficult decision for me,
11:26and I am touched and flattered that you came to me,
11:30but I'm not sure I'd be doing it for the right reasons.
11:34You understand, don't you?
11:36Yes, I do.
11:38And I appreciate your taking the time to think about it.
11:42It's that kind of consideration I was hoping to pass on to our second born.
11:49Oh, well.
11:53So, the pasta's good here?
11:55Oh, the best.
11:58My dad is the greatest dad
12:01because he puts me cream of wheat.
12:05Lilith, what are you singing?
12:07Was I singing?
12:09You were singing My Dad is the Greatest Dad.
12:12Oh, you mean that song Frederick wrote for you when he was four.
12:16That video is one of my prized possessions.
12:20Of course, I haven't looked at it in some time.
12:23I remember the night we surprised you with it.
12:26You crawled up in your lap and said,
12:28Why is Daddy whining?
12:31I see what you're doing, you know.
12:33What?
12:34You are attempting to manipulate me by invoking powerful emotional memories.
12:39I assure you nothing could be further from the truth.
12:43Are you ready to order?
12:44Yes.
12:45I'd like the biscuit with beetmalls.
12:48Mmm, very goodness.
12:51That's what our son used to say when he was three.
12:55And I'll have the veal.
12:57Bravo, sir.
13:01Lilith, I'm afraid you're idealizing parenthood.
13:05Do you remember Colek teething, changing mountains of diapers?
13:11Do you remember that time in the bath when he tried to eat the bubbles?
13:15We told him to stop, but we kept laughing so he thought it was funny and kept doing it.
13:22You know, I'd forgotten about that.
13:24Oh, I wish we had that on video.
13:26You can, Frasier. We can have those days back again, please.
13:32I just need a couple of teaspoons.
13:35Lilith.
13:37Just think about what Frederick has meant in our lives.
13:41I think about it every day.
13:43Frasier, we're always seeking ways we can leave a legacy.
13:48Well, forget my research and your work. This is it.
13:53What better gift can we bestow on the world but another person as wonderful as Frederick?
14:04Excuse me, um, I've changed my mind.
14:08I've decided that I, too, will have the biscuit and beetmalls.
14:22Gosh, that coffee smells so good.
14:25Lilith won't let me have any caffeine until I've made my little donation.
14:29Ah, yes.
14:31So, have you heard from Daphne?
14:33No, we keep missing each other.
14:37Just glad I have her little pictorial memento to keep me company.
14:42I can't believe you're so taken with that blurry overexposed photo of us.
14:48Of what you first mistook to be a flying saucer.
14:55I just think it's sexy that she even did it.
14:58Imagine it.
15:00She saw there was one picture left on the roll in a spontaneous moment of brazen exhibitionism.
15:07She threw open her blouse and just didn't even bother to adjust the f-stop.
15:12Yes, indeed.
15:15I am married to one spicy meatball.
15:20Good Lord.
15:22Don't tell me you carry it around with you.
15:25Well, I didn't want the housekeeper to find it and think we were pornographers.
15:31I didn't want the housekeeper to find it and think we were pornographers.
15:44Just fill out these forms and I can show you to one of our donation suites.
15:59Will this be your first?
16:01No, I've been doing this since I was 12.
16:04You mean, baby, uh, no, no, this is our second.
16:19We've got number four on the way.
16:22And we're thrilled for you, but perhaps we can chat some other time when we're not trying to create life.
16:28Sign and deal.
16:35This process can be hard on a relationship, but she'll relax and things will get better.
16:41We're already divorced.
16:43Good, because she'll never change.
16:48Up and out of it.
16:50Follow me, sir.
16:55Just go ahead and make yourself comfortable. You'll find everything you need in the cabinet.
17:02Oh, wait, Frazier.
17:04It probably doesn't matter, but try to think positive thoughts.
17:11Thanks for that.
17:14I was going to think about the plight of the American Indian.
17:22I'm just saying we should put the welfare of the sample first.
17:33Yes.
17:35And don't fall asleep afterwards. I want to get these puppies on ice ASAP.
17:43Goodbye now.
17:51Just a hint.
17:54If there is one thing I can do by myself, this is it.
18:00Now go away.
18:06Right this way.
18:21I just remembered a special method which supposedly increases the likelihood of having a boy.
18:27I see. Is there something I can do to increase the likelihood that we won't have a nettling control freak?
18:35No, but perhaps you can use a method which will give us a baby that can take other people's advice.
18:40I would settle for a method where I won't turn out to be a sarcastic prick.
18:43Oh, just do it.
18:45Fine.
18:46No, wait. I don't want you to do it when you're mad.
18:49Why don't we just take a minute and sit down and breathe?
18:57It's your dime.
19:14Oh, dear God.
19:18What if this child inherits all of our flaws instead of our strengths?
19:22We could create a real nightmare.
19:25That's not going to happen. It's going to be exactly the way it was the first time.
19:31Is that what's going on here?
19:35Are we trying to create a baby or just trying to recreate the past?
19:41And Frederick's almost grown now.
19:44It's only natural to feel a sense of loss.
19:48Frasier, don't be simplistic.
19:50No, Lilith, I know what you're going through.
19:52You want to feel needed and loved as you were when you were a new mother.
19:58The past can be very seductive.
20:01I mean, I've fallen into it, too. I'm trying to relive Freddie's childhood.
20:08You can't use the past to fill what's missing in the present.
20:14It's gone.
20:17Frasier, I've done a lot of thinking, and this feels right to me.
20:26But it's not right for me. I'm sorry.
20:34I'm sorry, too.
20:47You all right?
20:49I'll be fine.
20:52If I can't make another little Frederick with you, there's always cloning.
20:56And you still don't know when I'm joking.
21:02What are you going to do now?
21:05Well, I'm going to go home and give Frederick a very big hug.
21:09And maybe swab the inside of his cheek.
21:12Oh, stop it!
21:17Oh, you already ate. I was going to take you to Bogart's.
21:22Bogart's? Oh, don't worry about that.
21:25I was just eating it because it was here.
21:27I wasn't eating it to get full.
21:29Just give me two minutes.
21:36Hello?
21:37Oh, Niles, darling.
21:39Daphne!
21:40I thought I'd never run into you again.
21:43Niles, darling.
21:44Daphne!
21:45I thought I'd never reach you.
21:47We were booted from the park and are coming home.
21:50It seems someone put out a cigarette on a stuffed moose.
21:56I didn't know it was stuffed. I was defending myself.
22:01I love those pictures you left for me.
22:04More specifically, the last one.
22:08Something a little different, eh?
22:10Indeed it is.
22:12I can't even believe you took it.
22:14I didn't take it. Your father did.
22:17No, I don't think so.
22:20I'm talking about the last picture on the roll.
22:24The close-up.
22:26Yeah.
22:27Your father was trying to get a picture of Eddie,
22:29but instead he got a picture of his own chest.
22:34This is Dad's?
22:35That's his nipple.
22:38Oh, I can't wait to get to Bogart's.
22:41I know just what I'm going to get.
22:44A barbecued chicken breast.
22:49They have the juiciest one in town.
22:52Or the lamb.
22:54They serve an enormous rack.
22:59It's great.
23:00You might want to get an overcoat of Frasier's out of there.
23:03It's supposed to be pretty nippy tonight.
23:07Oh, hi, Dad.
23:09Hi.
23:10Where are you going?
23:11Oh, Niles is here. We're just going out for a bite.
23:13Do you want to join us?
23:14Sure.
23:16So, uh, how's Lola?
23:21I just dropped her off at the airport.
23:24She's disappointed, but she knows that we're doing the right thing.
23:28Well, for what it's worth, I think you are too, son.
23:32Well, for what it's worth, I think you are too, son.
23:36Thanks, Dad.
23:38Just hope she finds what's missing in her life.
23:46Hey, Pastey.
23:49Oh, hello.
23:51May I?
23:52Yes, certainly.
23:57What happened? I thought you were relocating to Seattle.
24:01Oh, it wasn't a fit. I'm going back to Boston.
24:05I don't know, call me neurotic.
24:07I just can't work in a lab that's not immaculate.
24:14You work in a lab?
24:16I'm a physicist.
24:18Really?
24:21My name's Lilith.
24:24Ah, the demon goddess.
24:27Are you like the, uh, independent fireball that was your predecessor?
24:33I make her look like a vacillating cream puff.
24:38Albert.
24:41What happened with your friend? Did you get your favor?
24:45It's a long story.
24:48Well, it's, uh, it's a long flight.
24:58Hey, baby, I hear the blues are calling tossed salads and scrambled eggs.
25:06Oh, my.
25:08And maybe I seem a bit confused.
25:11Well, maybe.
25:13But I got you pegged.
25:17But I don't know what to do with those tossed salads and scrambled eggs.
25:24They're calling again.
25:28Frasier has left the building.