Tongue Thai'd with Pangina Heals S02E01 (2023)
Transcript
00:00Today, we're at Pailin Thai Restaurant,
00:03owned by husband-and-wife team Andy and Tanya.
00:07It's been serving incredible Thai food for over 29 years.
00:12Today's guest is the winner of Drag Race Season 12.
00:17She can slay any look.
00:19Over there! Over there! Over there!
00:22It's Jada Essence!
00:24Hi!
00:26Hey, what's up?
00:27Hi, thank you so much. You look so beautiful.
00:29Thank you for being here.
00:31Oh, thank you.
00:32Just giving a little bit of heart and pinkness.
00:35Giving love.
00:36Well, this would be the colour of your asshole after we're done,
00:40so I just want you to see what it's going to be like.
00:42That deep?
00:43It's going to be, like, a little bit bruised and bloody.
00:46LAUGHTER
00:47Here's how this works. Let's do it.
00:49You will be eating and playing games for a maximum of ten points.
00:53Each dish is worth one point,
00:57and you must take three bites to get those points.
01:00You can also win points by playing games.
01:02You love to play games, don't you, Jada?
01:04Only with my friends.
01:06Oh!
01:07Well, are you ready to get tongue-tied?
01:09I am! I am!
01:10I'm going to tell you this really fast.
01:12I am a competitive person who likes to win,
01:15but loses more times than I win.
01:17But I'm telling you something that I know right now.
01:19Today, I am not going back the fuck down.
01:21OK.
01:22I am in for a challenge, a fight, and I'm a winner.
01:25Well, yes, you are. You got a crown. I'm a winner.
01:27And, you know, with perseverance and anal tape,
01:30I'm sure you'll be fine.
01:32So the first dish we have is...
01:35Sai-ua. Sai-ua.
01:37Northern sausage. OK.
01:39Sai-ua is very pungent and salty.
01:42This dish is very popular in Chiang Mai,
01:45a famous food destination in Northern Thailand.
01:48It's like an appetiser, almost.
01:50How does it taste? Tell me.
01:52It's hot!
01:54OK.
01:55But I'm, like... How are you feeling right now?
01:57It's, like, kind of, like, not, like, hot,
02:00but it's like my cheeks feel, like, wet right here a little bit.
02:03Is that the hottest pepper? No, it wasn't.
02:05Is this meat hot?
02:07The sausage is hot, right?
02:08I feel like it's just an appetiser.
02:10I feel like it's nothing.
02:12It's a hot sausage.
02:14This is evil because I know what this is giving, bitch.
02:17This is giving... You're gaslighting me.
02:19How so?
02:20The sausage is supposed to be hot and it is hot
02:22and then it's going... This is giving layers of heat.
02:25I can feel my cheeks getting hot.
02:27I think your nose is running a bit too.
02:29Oh, my God.
02:30At any time you feel things are too spicy,
02:33we have a tray of relief.
02:35It is antacid Thai tea and the pink stuff.
02:39You can take that tray and relieve yourself,
02:42but points will be taken off if you take some.
02:45I'm good.
02:46It's not, like, crazy hot, but it's definitely...
02:49OK.
02:50We're going to start things off with a simple game of Mai or Chai.
02:54I'm going to ask you a yes or no question
02:57and you'll practise your Thai by answering either Chai, yes,
03:01or Mai, no.
03:03So yes is...
03:05Chai.
03:06And no is...
03:07Mai.
03:08Oh, very good!
03:09I'm learning another language to all the haters who said I never would.
03:14Are you excited to be here today?
03:16Chai.
03:17Good.
03:18Are you a little nervous about how spicy things are going to get?
03:21Chai.
03:22Did you grow up in Milwaukee, Wisconsin?
03:25Chai.
03:26Did you come from a big family?
03:28Chai.
03:29Do you have a strategy for when you can't remember someone's name?
03:33Chai.
03:34It's not really a strategy.
03:35Tell me. You go...
03:36Hey, baby!
03:39Congrats, you earn one point for that dish.
03:44Are you ready for the next dish?
03:46This dish is...
03:47Nam sod.
03:48Nam sod.
03:50This dish is the cousin of larb.
03:52It's kind of like a minced pork salad that is fresh
03:56and has a variety of ingredients.
03:59Ground pork, some peanuts, onions and some chilli.
04:03OK.
04:04And it's like an orgy in your mouth.
04:06Mouth.
04:07OK, ooh, I just made a mess.
04:09Ooh, OK.
04:10You ate the whole spoonful?
04:12Mm-hm.
04:13OK, how many points is this worth?
04:15Three bites, one point.
04:16Three bites?
04:20There we go.
04:21How are you feeling right now, just checking in?
04:24Great.
04:25Yeah?
04:26It's a little spicy.
04:27Yep.
04:28Oh, my God.
04:29Mm-hm.
04:31Mm-hm.
04:32There's only one Jada Essence haul,
04:34but as Oprah says, you contain multitudes.
04:37I'm going to give you a clue and you have to tell me
04:40which version of Jada Essence I'm talking about, OK?
04:43Mm-hm.
04:44This Jada Essence plays volleyball
04:47and helps little old ladies reach the top shelf
04:51at the grocery store.
04:53You play volleyball.
04:54Jada Essence tall!
04:55Hey!
04:56Nice smile!
04:58This Jada Essence must be a character
05:01in the new Barbie movie because she's a...
05:04Jada Essence doll!
05:06Hey!
05:07This Jada Essence is really spread out wide.
05:13Ew.
05:14Jada Essence over it all.
05:16Is that it?
05:17Nope.
05:18Jada Essence sprawls.
05:20OK.
05:21Oh!
05:22This Jada Essence is always ready to throw down.
05:26Jada Essence bra.
05:27Hey!
05:28That's the one right here, right now, today.
05:30This Jada Essence is on her hands and knees, literally.
05:35Jada Essence cross.
05:37Hey!
05:38Very good baby!
05:40This Jada Essence is tiny!
05:43Jada Essence small.
05:46That's Jada Essence tall!
05:48This Jada Essence only wears autumn colors.
05:52Jada Essence fall!
05:54Hey!
05:55Well, thank you, Jada Essence Hall,
05:58for answering Jada Essence all of my questions!
06:04Steam.
06:05She can't eat salad.
06:07What?
06:08No, girl, no.
06:09What?
06:10What?
06:11This is a chicken feet salad.
06:14This salad is called Yam Leb Mueh Nang,
06:17or the salad of female fingers.
06:20It's tossed with mango, onions, cilantro, chili, and ginger.
06:26It is light and refreshing, and it's good for your nail bed.
06:30Actually, it's really delicious.
06:31Do you like jellyfish?
06:33Jellyfish?
06:34Yeah, jellyfish.
06:35I never, I didn't know you could eat jellyfish.
06:37Oh, my God.
06:38My favorite is the jellyfish salad.
06:40It's so good.
06:41Her toes, she don't have toenails, so that's a good thing.
06:44Let me, I'm going to get in here and get some of this greenery.
06:46Okay.
06:50I'm like...
06:52I'm going to do it.
06:53I'm going to do it.
06:54It's giving, it's going to be very, like, rubbery.
07:04Do you know what this chicken has been?
07:06Do you know its past?
07:07That is hot.
07:08Is it?
07:09Yes.
07:10I didn't feel it.
07:11You had one bite already.
07:12That was great.
07:13I was hiding a napkin under my ass.
07:15Oh, I see the feet.
07:17You see, this is its knuckles, its finger.
07:20I think this is the middle feet.
07:25Crunchy.
07:26That is hot.
07:28Your nose is dripping.
07:30Here.
07:31I know.
07:32What does it taste like?
07:33That is a texture.
07:34Congrats, you earn one point for that dish.
07:37As the food is getting spicier, let's find out what you think is hot or not.
07:41This is Burning Sensations!
07:45Ready?
07:47Yeah.
07:48Okay.
07:49King Charles, hot or not?
07:52Batman is not fine.
07:54Not at all.
07:55Are we talking about, like, his, like...
07:58You just have to say he's hot or not while you're dealing with yourself right now.
08:04There it is.
08:05A tray of relief if you need it.
08:08I'm good.
08:09I'll wait.
08:10I am competitive.
08:11Oh, so you don't need any relief.
08:13Nope.
08:14Ask Ketchum, hot or not?
08:17Hot.
08:18Very hot.
08:19Professional wrestling, hot or not?
08:21Hot.
08:22Yes.
08:23Big, huge pickup trucks, hot or not?
08:25Not.
08:26Hot.
08:27Clearly.
08:28People full mouth kissing at a restaurant, hot or not?
08:31Not.
08:32Hot or not?
08:33I don't think that's hot.
08:34Not.
08:35Yeah.
08:36Three-sums, four-sums, five-sums, hot or not?
08:39Hot.
08:40Yes!
08:42Again!
08:43Well, thank you.
08:44Thank you, Jada, for sharing what you think is hot or not.
08:47Thank you for asking me.
08:49Remember, opinions are like assholes.
08:52Everyone has them, but nobody wants to hear from them.
08:56Okay, this dish is the Chu Qi Gong.
09:00Ooh.
09:01Shrimp in minimal curry.
09:04Chu Qi Gong has less sauce than some other curries,
09:08but it's highly concentrated and has lots of flavor.
09:13Let's do it.
09:14Um.
09:17Oh.
09:18I feel like my cheeks are very, like, getting warm again.
09:22I feel like this one is spicy in the back of your throat.
09:25Yeah.
09:26Versus the other one is spicy in the tongue.
09:28Yeah.
09:29So there are actually thousands of Thai restaurants
09:33all across the world.
09:35So I'm going to give you the name of a Thai restaurant,
09:37and you have to tell me if it's a real place that exists
09:40or one that I just made up.
09:42Okay.
09:43Ooh!
09:44Hee, hee, hee, hee, hee.
09:46Titanic.
09:48Okay, it's not real.
09:50That is not real.
09:51That one's real, and it's located in Sausalito, California.
09:55Eye of the Tiger.
09:59That's real.
10:00Good.
10:01That's real.
10:02Yes.
10:03Tiger bone.
10:04No.
10:05Correct.
10:06That's not a real place.
10:07Tie me up.
10:08That's real.
10:09Good.
10:10Located.
10:11Yeah.
10:12Tie me down and get it done, zaddy.
10:14That is not real.
10:15Ha, ha, ha.
10:16No way.
10:17No way.
10:18Ha, ha, ha.
10:19What about appetizing?
10:21This one is real.
10:22Correct.
10:23Ty...
10:25F***.
10:26Ty...
10:27F***.
10:28Tyrannosaurus.
10:29Oh, I wish that was real.
10:30It's real.
10:31It is?
10:32It is real.
10:33Where is it?
10:34Australia.
10:35Next.
10:36Tylenol.
10:37That would be sickening for that brand, for the company.
10:40Mm-hmm.
10:41But that's not a real place.
10:42Correct.
10:43It's fake.
10:44And the last one.
10:46That's a man.
10:47That is a man.
10:48Ha, ha, ha.
10:49Correct.
10:50It's fake.
10:51Yes.
10:52Congrats.
10:53You've got another point.
10:54This is one of my favorite curries of all time because it's so bright in color and it usually
11:11comes with an omelette inside that is deep fried with a vegetable called shaom.
11:16Let's see.
11:17Let's get into it.
11:18Oh.
11:19You're sweating.
11:20What?
11:21Am I sweating?
11:22Yeah, I think so.
11:23Oh, my God.
11:24My mustache is showing.
11:25Oh, God.
11:26It's hot.
11:27Do you need the tray of relief?
11:28Oh, my God.
11:29Oh, my God.
11:30Oh, my God.
11:31Oh, my God.
11:32Oh, my God.
11:33Oh, my God.
11:34Oh, my God.
11:35Oh, my God.
11:36Oh, my God.
11:37Oh, my God.
11:38Oh, my God.
11:39Oh, my God.
11:41Today, I am not going back to fuck down.
11:43I'm a winner.
11:47Fuck yeah.
11:51Nope.
11:52I'm not a quitter.
11:53Mm-hmm.
11:54I'm a spitter.
11:55So now that you've come to the end of your challenge, a chance to earn three points towards
12:02your final score has arise.
12:05For today's pick or swallow, you must pick a card.
12:08You either do what's on the card, or you have to swallow today's pick or swallow item.
12:14Are you ready?
12:15Okay.
12:16He, he was hot.
12:17Oh, so hot.
12:18Today's pick or swallow item is bla-ra-ra-ra-ma-ma-bla-ra, which is fermented fish sauce, or also known
12:36as my douche water.
12:40Would you like to try smelling it?
12:42Once.
12:43He, he, he.
12:44Wait.
12:45Ah.
12:46Mm-mm.
12:47It's just fermented fish.
12:48I do not like that.
12:49You ready to play?
12:50Yes.
12:51Right.
12:52Pick the top card.
12:53Thrust of trust.
12:54Oh.
12:55Would you like to try smelling it?
12:56Once.
12:57He, he, he.
12:58Wait.
12:59Ah.
13:00Mm-mm.
13:01It's just fermented fish.
13:02I do not like that.
13:03You ready to play?
13:04Yes.
13:05Ooh.
13:06Would you like to play the thrust of trust with me, or would you rather swallow the fermented
13:12fish paste?
13:13Thrust of trust.
13:14Okay.
13:15So this game, I'm going to thrust something in your mouth, and you have to try it and
13:20identify it.
13:22Okay.
13:23Here you go.
13:25Put on those shades.
13:30Do you trust me?
13:31No, I don't trust you.
13:33Well, then open up.
13:35First thing coming.
13:36Um, um.
13:37God.
13:38Open your mouth.
13:39I got boogers on it.
13:40I can't feed you on your nose.
13:41Bread.
13:42Yes.
13:43Good.
13:44Good.
13:45Good.
13:46Good.
13:47Oprah loves this.
13:48Okay.
13:49Okay.
13:50You see?
13:51It's not scary.
13:52That was nice.
13:53But no, I don't trust the rest.
13:54Fuck.
13:55Fuck.
13:56Ah.
13:57It's a carrot.
13:58Yes.
14:00Burned cheese.
14:01Yes.
14:02This is wet.
14:03Is this a gummy snake?
14:04Yes.
14:05Um.
14:06Yum.
14:07Yum.
14:08Yum.
14:09Yum.
14:10Oh, a Twinkie.
14:11That's insane.
14:12Last one.
14:13Okay.
14:14Um.
14:15Okay.
14:16Um.
14:17Um.
14:18Um.
14:19Um.
14:20Um.
14:21Um.
14:22Um.
14:23Um.
14:24Um.
14:25Um.
14:26Um.
14:27Um.
14:28Thank you.
14:29Yuck.
14:30A dog treat.
14:34So Jada Essence Hall, you did very well.
14:38Your final score is...
14:409.5!
14:41On the 10.
14:43That's amazing.
14:45Thank you.
14:46Your prize is a collection of house of love cocktails and movtails courtesy of house of
14:54love!
14:55Absolutely.
14:56Here you go.
14:57and this was Tongue Tied.
15:01Sawadee ka.
15:02Bye.
15:02Bye.