Tongue Thai'd with Pangina Heals S01E03 (2022)
Transcript
00:00Today, we're dining at the original Hoi Ka Thai Noodle in Hollywood.
00:06This place is always super crowded on the weekends, but hopefully a little Tuesday lunch
00:10isn't so bad.
00:12Today's guest is not only one of the OG drag race queens, she's also the queen of hosting
00:20her world scores on Twitter.
00:23It's...
00:24Okay, first of all, people have said that it's annoying when you post your word all
00:32daily, but to those people, fuck you.
00:35So no one knows that you're annoying?
00:37Ah, shut up.
00:38And when people tell me like, oh my god, you're so annoying, I'm like, thank you, I know.
00:42You're like, yeah, that's me.
00:44Before we get started, I want to tell people who don't know that you're one of my biggest
00:50inspiration in drag.
00:51I watched RuPaul's Drag Race, I saw you, I was like, this person looks like me, I identify
00:56with her, your story is so beautiful.
00:59And ever since, I was just like, oh my god, I really want to meet her.
01:02And I reach out to you, and you've just been like a big sister to me, so I'm really grateful
01:06for our friendship.
01:07Well, you stole my surname, so I had the obligation, I had to do it.
01:13There's a lot of people that find inspiration in others, and I'm glad that I've inspired
01:17you.
01:18Very much so.
01:19So, I mean, I know you said we look the same, but I'm prettier.
01:21Never said that.
01:22I actually love Thai food.
01:26I eat Thai food very often, but I usually only get it like negative one star spicy.
01:35So basically, you can't handle the spiciness.
01:38I believe I'm the only Asian in the planet that can't eat spicy food.
01:44Filipino food is not often spicy.
01:47Seriously?
01:48It is very seasoned and flavorful, but it's never like spice.
01:54Okay.
01:55Are you ready?
01:58I mean, I showed up.
01:59You're here.
02:00I actually am very ready, so bring it out.
02:05This is pork satay, the marinated pork that is grilled on a skewer, commonly served at
02:11night markets.
02:12This technique is widely believed to be originated in Indonesia.
02:17I love meat on sticks.
02:19What star is this spicy?
02:20One star?
02:21Negative one.
02:22That is not...
02:23It's fine.
02:24Do you want some rice?
02:25No, I'm fine.
02:26That is not negative one.
02:27That's at least a one.
02:28You're going to really see the moisture coming out of this region of my head.
02:38I'm so excited.
02:39I like this one because it's not spicy.
02:41There's nothing that's spicy.
02:42That's spicy.
02:43If I...
02:44Wait, hold on.
02:45What?
02:47How am I going to finish this whole video?
02:49You're not going to eat that.
02:50I'll be fine.
02:51Wait, do you see that corner?
02:55What corner?
02:56Stop!
02:57If we're going to play a game, it's called mai or chai.
03:00If you say chai, it means yes.
03:03If you say no, it means mai.
03:05Chai is yes.
03:06Yes.
03:07Mai is no.
03:08Correct.
03:09Okay.
03:10Have you ever said I love you without meaning it?
03:13Mai.
03:14Mai.
03:15Have you ever had a sex dream about a friend?
03:17Chai.
03:18Mm.
03:19Do you believe in aliens?
03:20Oh, my God.
03:21Chai.
03:22Me too.
03:23Oh, my God.
03:24Same.
03:25Do you believe in Bigfoot?
03:26No.
03:27Mai.
03:28You should take a look at your feet.
03:29Fuck you.
03:30Can you drive a stick shift car?
03:31Oh, my God.
03:32Yes.
03:33Chai.
03:34You can?
03:35I can.
03:36That's amazing.
03:37I know.
03:38Do you know how to change a tire, though?
03:39I do.
03:40Chai.
03:41Oh, my God.
03:42That's Italian, bitch.
03:44No, it's not Italian.
03:45It's super easy.
03:46It is for me.
03:47Yeah.
03:48You just, like, crank it up so it lifts, and then you undo the wheel, and then you put
03:52the wheel on, and then do it, and then drive off.
03:56I still don't get it, but sure.
03:59I'm fucking smart.
04:04The next dish that we're having has been dated to the prehistoric Jurassic era.
04:09One time, there was a saber-tooth tiger.
04:11Okay.
04:12And it went over the paddy field, but then it fell into a fire.
04:16And then someone saw it and was like, can we just make this into a fried rice?
04:21And that's how this dish originated.
04:22You're fucking lying.
04:23No, I'm not.
04:24Okay.
04:25All right.
04:26Oh.
04:27That's a completely different dish I'm talking about.
04:30Like, steal it.
04:31So, about this dish, there was one time a manatee was swimming.
04:36This is salted fish fried rice.
04:39Fried rice is one of the most popular dishes in Thailand, with many different varieties.
04:44Salted fish is a staple of Thai cuisine.
04:47Salted fish has a very strong smell.
04:49It smells like fish.
04:53And what's the spice?
04:54The spice level in this, baby.
04:57Very baby.
04:58You're fine.
04:59Look at this.
05:00Look it.
05:01There's like-
05:02It's like tomato.
05:03And then this is fish sauce, which actually in the Philippines, we use a lot.
05:08Like, we use it for like sinigang, which is like a stew type of meal, or like chicken
05:13adobo, which is like vinegar, soy sauce type of like dish with chicken or pork.
05:19Okay.
05:20So, we use this a lot.
05:21What star is this?
05:22Just fucking put it in your mouth.
05:31This has to be at least a four star.
05:33Out of 100?
05:34Five.
05:35No.
05:36Okay.
05:37First of all, listen, I told you.
05:38Oh my God.
05:39You guys, this rice is fucking spicy.
05:40I'm not even exaggerating.
05:41Okay.
05:42It's fine.
05:43I can do it.
05:44Do you want some water or something?
05:45No, I'm good.
05:46We're going to put on a pair of yellow gloves.
05:47Okay.
05:48While we use a not famous lubricant brand to lubricate our hands, and use what I call
06:02chopsticks to eat with.
06:04Oh my God.
06:05Can you try with me?
06:06Yes.
06:07Okay.
06:08Oh my God.
06:09Oh my God, I'm sorry.
06:10Oh my God.
06:11Oh my God.
06:12Oh my God.
06:13Oh my God.
06:14Oh my God.
06:15Oh my God.
06:16Oh my God.
06:17Oh my God.
06:18Oh my God.
06:19Oh my God.
06:20You have to grab it and then start eating.
06:23No way.
06:27You guys.
06:33While we're handling these steaks, let's talk about the etiquette of hooking up, shall
06:37we?
06:38Yeah, of course.
06:39How do you feel about saying what you want, when you want it, where you want it, before
06:43things start to happen?
06:45I think that you should.
06:46I agree.
06:47You should be vocal about it.
06:49I really want to eat today.
06:51Yeah.
06:52I'm doing fine.
06:53Here.
06:54Damn it.
06:55This pepper needed to go in there.
06:56No, you still have it.
06:57You still have it.
06:58Oh my God.
06:59Oh my God.
07:00Oh my God.
07:01Oh my God.
07:02Oh my God.
07:03Oh my God.
07:04Oh my God.
07:05Oh my God.
07:06No, you stupid bitch.
07:07How many pillows are too many pillows?
07:11Oh my God, something spicy just went down my throat.
07:13Hold on.
07:15Two, two, like during intercourse, two is too much.
07:21Maybe one, but you might also need it to like lie back, hold on to, or like bite.
07:30You did really well, how are you doing?
07:39I'm doing okay.
07:40I'm ready.
07:41Yeah.
07:42Okay.
07:43Let's do it.
07:44What's next?
07:45Show me what's next.
07:46This is lap.
07:47Lap is ground meat, stir fried with lime juice, fish sauce, and all the best Thai spices.
07:52It's the national dish of Laos, but has become very popular in Thailand.
07:57Now, anyone can get it at their local Thai restaurant.
08:01Now that's what I call progress.
08:03Hold on.
08:06Oh my God.
08:07I'm going to punch you.
08:10I did not cook this.
08:12Do not insult the chef.
08:15We're going to play truth or lie.
08:17Okay.
08:18We're going to take turns saying one truth and one lie.
08:23If the other person gets which one is truth correctly, we have to eat some lap.
08:30Okay.
08:31Let's do it.
08:32Let's do it.
08:33The faster you ask me these questions, the faster we can get to the end.
08:36I charted in a cornfield and used a leaf to clean my ass once on a marathon, or I have
08:45once did a softcore porn on an illegal website.
08:51You definitely did a softcore porn on an illegal website.
08:53Fuck you, bitch.
08:54You definitely did.
08:55No, I didn't.
08:56But you did shit yourself in a cornfield and you still did.
09:02So speaking of porn, I did porn once.
09:04And then I also moved here from the Philippines four years ago.
09:09Okay.
09:10The second one was definitely a lie.
09:12Why?
09:13I did move here from the Philippines.
09:15But it wasn't four years ago.
09:17Fine.
09:18So I have to eat this because you knew my truth?
09:21Eat it!
09:23Yummy.
09:24It's good in your tummy.
09:27Oh my God, oh my God, no way.
09:38I have three nipples.
09:43Or I have once worked on a farm.
09:47You don't have three nipples?
09:48Show me.
09:49So I have to eat it?
09:50So you have to eat it, because I guess you're right.
09:52This is like a baby's breakfast in my country.
10:00Oh my God, no.
10:02You guys, this is so spicy.
10:03I'm not even freaking joking.
10:05I used to run track and field.
10:09Okay.
10:09And I did the hurdles, you know,
10:10the ones that you jump over.
10:18I was fucking junior varsity, bitch.
10:22That's a lie.
10:23I was.
10:24I used to run the hurdles.
10:25No way.
10:26Y'all have video.
10:29Worst game ever.
10:31I hope you're ready, because next is...
10:34Hot Pit with catfish.
10:36Hot Pit features red curry paste,
10:38but instead of mixing it with coconut milk,
10:40it's stir fried and cooked in a sauce that covers the meat.
10:43In all honesty,
10:44I had the restaurant made this a second time
10:47because the first one wasn't spicy enough.
10:50Don't confuse Pad Pit with Pad Thai.
10:52They're very different dishes.
10:53If you order a Pad Pit,
10:55that is some good authentic Thai food.
10:57If you order a Pad Thai,
10:59well, you're just that person ordering Pad Thai, you know?
11:02Well, let's have one bite
11:03of this amazing culinary experience together.
11:07Okay, ready?
11:08Cheers.
11:09Cheers.
11:15Oh my God.
11:21So wait, I didn't ask.
11:25I didn't mean it for...
11:29I need milk.
11:34You guys, it went from like here to fucking here.
11:42Hold on one second, I can't.
11:44Are you okay though?
11:45Yeah, I think I'm sweating underneath my neck.
11:47Oh wait, I spoke to this.
11:50Oh, it's coming.
11:52It just took a while.
11:54Wait, I think,
11:56I think I'm being choked.
12:04Oh my God.
12:05She wasn't kidding.
12:09Oh, fine now.
12:10Angina.
12:11Yes.
12:12We're gonna play a game called pick or swallow.
12:14I'm gonna give you a deck of cards.
12:16You pick up a card.
12:17If you can't do what it says on the card,
12:20then you would have to swallow that.
12:27Yum, yum.
12:28Moan like you're having a female orgasm.
12:34Wait, okay, I got it.
12:35Okay.
12:40Be quiet.
12:41Okay, sorry.
12:44Wait, I gotta, I gotta.
12:48I gotta use my female voice.
12:50Shut up.
12:51Okay, okay, okay.
12:52Yeah.
12:55Yeah.
12:56I can't.
12:57Yeah, fuck me.
13:00I don't do this unless I get paid.
13:04Yeah.
13:09Lick whipped cream off the other person's fingers.
13:13I'd rather eat this.
13:16Yeah.
13:19Take a quick pic under your dress and share it.
13:22Yeah.
13:22Come, phone.
13:24I don't want that on my phone.
13:34There you go.
13:35Oh my God.
13:36And this was the problem.
13:39Let your partner throw pieces of fresh mango
13:42into your open mouth.
13:44Let me do it.
13:45Let me do it.
13:46Don't eat.
13:46Let me do it.
13:49Wait.
13:51Yeah.
13:55My turn.
14:06Give me a man.
14:07Give me a minute while I calculate your final score.
14:12Oh my God.
14:13Wait.
14:14It's rising.
14:16Your score is 5,259.
14:21I'm rich.
14:23Yay.
14:24Oh my God.
14:25This is the prize you've been waiting for.
14:27Hold on, I'm not ready.
14:30For some reason, whatever I just ate,
14:33the temperature, temperature's rising.
14:37It's rising.
14:38What did I win?
14:40Look how mad I am.
14:41I know.
14:42Let her fucking win.
14:44You've won a two and a half hour supply
14:46of House of Love canned cocktails and moccasins.
14:50I don't want it.
14:54But that's not all.
14:56You also won a can of French vanilla pudding.
15:01Would you like a taste?
15:02Because you are my guest,
15:04I am going to give you this amount.
15:07Yum, yum.
15:09Wow.
15:14Angina, thank you so much for being here.
15:17I hope your mouth feels better
15:18because if not, I can give you another spoon
15:23of this amazing French pudding.
15:25I'm done.
15:27I'm done.
15:28You are corrupt.
15:30Anyway, I am Pandrina Hills and this was Tongue Tied
15:33and I'll see you next time.
15:35Thank you for having me.
15:36Bye.