Tongue Thai'd with Pangina Heals S01E01 (2022)
Transcript
00:00Today, we're dining at the original Hoi Ka Thai Noodle in Hollywood.
00:06Its owners have brought over flavors from both North and South Thailand, and pretty
00:11much everything is delicious.
00:13Today's guests have been...
00:16Stop making a sound!
00:22Today's guest has been on so many seasons of Drag Race, fans love her because she's
00:28kind, funny, and giving, but the only thing she's not giving our other queens a chance
00:34to get on to RuPaul's Drag Race is Jujubee!
00:39Hi, Jujubee!
00:41Did you write that yourself?
00:44Yes, I completely did.
00:47I'm so nervous about the spicy foods today.
00:51Why?
00:52You're a Laotian.
00:53I know, I know, and I feel like I'm so bad at being Asian.
00:57Laotian food is spicy.
00:59It is.
01:00And you don't think you can tolerate this?
01:01I want to say that I can't.
01:03Okay.
01:04A lot of people have been waiting for this moment for us to actually conversate.
01:10Converse.
01:11In our native tongue.
01:13They're two different languages, but we still kind of get each other.
01:16Because we're like neighbors.
01:18For me, like, you sound like a harsh auntie.
01:21Yes.
01:22But maybe that's how you look as well.
01:25The cameraman here is so handsome.
01:27He's a photographer.
01:28He's a photographer, right?
01:29Is he handsome?
01:30What do you want to do with him?
01:31I want to eat.
01:32I want to eat.
01:33What do you want to do with him?
01:34No.
01:35What did you say?
01:36They're going to totally translate this video.
01:37They?
01:38Are they?
01:39We are going to try our first dish.
01:43Yum Woon Sen is made with ground pork, chili peppers, and glass noodles.
01:48It was brought to Thailand by Vietnamese traders.
01:51It's technically a salad, but this bitch has carbs.
01:55Mmm.
01:56Good, good, good.
01:58Mmm.
01:59It's spicy.
02:00Normal spicy.
02:01Not too spicy.
02:02This is very, very okay.
02:03These little golden disks are pepper seeds.
02:04They're not pepper seeds.
02:05They're rice flakes.
02:06No, no, no.
02:07I'm Laotian, bitch.
02:08You can't lie to me.
02:09So while we enjoy the ground pork in this salad, let's talk about porky.
02:10Porky.
02:11Porky.
02:12Porky.
02:13Porky.
02:14Porky.
02:15Porky.
02:16Porky.
02:17Porky.
02:18Porky.
02:19Porky.
02:20Porky.
02:22This isn't normal spicy, bitch.
02:23No, no.
02:24I was swallowing.
02:25You know all the sexy, romantic stuff.
02:26Okay.
02:27Okay.
02:28What turns Juju on?
02:29I don't mind stupid people.
02:30Who do you have a crush on from UK versus the world cast?
02:31I'll tell you who I would marry.
02:32Me.
02:33No, you're like my sister.
02:34Okay.
02:35And I feel like you're always late to things.
02:36You're starting shit.
02:37Who do you have the crush on?
02:38Really, really light.
02:39Really, really light.
02:40Okay.
02:41Okay.
02:42Okay.
02:43Okay.
02:44Okay.
02:45Okay.
02:46Okay.
02:47Okay.
02:48Okay.
02:49Okay.
02:50Okay.
02:52I would marry like Janie.
02:53Wouldn't you?
02:54Wouldn't I what?
02:55Have you seen her nails?
02:59Would you ever have sex in drag for money?
03:02People get paid?
03:05Oh my God.
03:11Are you ready for the next dish?
03:13What is it?
03:14Oh my God.
03:16This is their signature Hoi Ha boat noodle soup.
03:20Back in the olden days, boat noodles were sold out of boats at floating markets.
03:25The bowls were then washed directly into the canal.
03:29By the way, have you ever noticed canal is just anal without a C?
03:35You can get this dish customized at the shop.
03:38You can get
03:39It means you either want the small noodle, the big noodle, the one that becomes like
03:47a strip like a band-aid, or bak mee, which is egg noodles, which is my favorite, the
03:53yellow one.
03:54My family made noodles like this when I was growing up, but we never added this much pepper
03:58to it.
03:59I don't think it's pepper.
04:00I think it's just straight up bitch slapping chili.
04:03Yeah.
04:04Cheers.
04:05Cheers.
04:06Oh my God, it's so spicy.
04:12When it comes to noodles, does size matter?
04:17Does it?
04:18Do you like a bigger noodle?
04:19I like a vermicelli or like a pho noodle.
04:23It depends on the texture.
04:24If it goes down easy, then that's my favorite.
04:26Are we just talking about noodles?
04:27Are we talking about noodles?
04:28You know, I prefer a short, fat, chubby noodle.
04:29Do you know what I'm talking about?
04:30I do.
04:31I do.
04:32Like a chode.
04:33Is that like a cousin of a toad?
04:34It's kind of like a tiny dick, but really thick.
04:41Are we still talking about noodles?
04:46You were a theater major in college.
04:48Yeah.
04:49We're going to put that to good use.
04:50In front of you are some cards with some of the most dramatic moments on drag race history.
04:57Okay.
04:58You have to recreate them using your acting.
05:01Okay.
05:02Yeah.
05:03Are you ready?
05:04I am ready.
05:05I don't have a sugar daddy, sweetheart.
05:07Everything that I've worked for.
05:10Changela Laquifa Wadley.
05:11Yay, you got it right.
05:13I got it right.
05:14You don't have to eat.
05:17Here's another one.
05:18Yes.
05:19I have a master's degree in fierce.
05:23It's not Alaska.
05:24It sounded like Alaska.
05:25I have a master's degree in fierce.
05:26Who is it?
05:27You have to eat now.
05:28How do you know?
05:29You do know who that is though.
05:30Fuck.
05:31It's Raja.
05:32I know it.
05:33Wow.
05:34Oh this one should be easy.
05:53Okay.
05:54I want fried chicken now.
06:01It's you.
06:02Yay.
06:03Congratulations Juju on surviving this round.
06:04and doing very well on your acting skills.
06:08I, uh, am a very highly skilled actress.
06:14-♪♪♪♪
06:16-♪♪♪♪
06:20Are you ready for the next round?
06:24Bring it on, bitch!
06:26-♪♪♪♪
06:27Paprik King gets its heat from red chilies and curry paste.
06:32It's traditionally served to travelers after a long journey.
06:37This dish has big prick energy!
06:43Okay, hold on, Miss Thing,
06:45Miss Pangina, Queen of the World.
06:48Excuse me.
06:49We're not playing these games without you playing.
06:52Yours is less than mine.
06:56Mmm!
06:58Mm-hmm.
07:00Oh!
07:02It's too spicy for you?
07:03No, it's not.
07:04It just went in the wrong hole.
07:05You know, sometimes that happens.
07:07Mm-mm.
07:08Always the right hole.
07:09Mm-mm.
07:10You know, your drag race reads are legendary.
07:13Oh, no!
07:15Oh, yes!
07:16So while eating this chicken,
07:17I'm gonna show you pictures of some dumb-looking chickens.
07:21And you give me an impromptu read.
07:24Ready, Juju?
07:26I hate this.
07:30You know what I would call this chicken?
07:31What?
07:32A butter chicken.
07:33Okay.
07:34Beautiful bird.
07:35Butter face.
07:38Okay, so this bird reminds me of my T-Mobile phone coverage.
07:43Spotty.
07:50I have never been attracted to a chicken before,
07:52but this chicken is very sexy.
07:54See these little chicken bitches right here?
07:56They're just like...
07:58Sugar Daddy over here.
08:01That chicken speaks five languages.
08:03That chicken does squats.
08:05That chicken sells used cars.
08:07Look at her.
08:08She's scared.
08:09She wants out of that relationship
08:10but doesn't know where to go.
08:11I feel like today's the day for her.
08:13She needs to go.
08:14That's her stupid friend who's giving her bad advice.
08:16I'm secretly sleeping with him.
08:18That chicken.
08:19What a bitch.
08:24Juju, you did so well,
08:26and I want to congratulate you on surviving this far.
08:29You doing okay?
08:30I'm doing great.
08:31How are you feeling?
08:32I feel great.
08:34I'm fine.
08:35Everything's fine.
08:37Now we're going to bring on the next dish.
08:40The Thai green curry.
08:45Thai green curry gets its color
08:47from fresh green bird's eye chilies.
08:50In South Thailand,
08:51this dish can even be hotter than red curry.
08:55You should mention these facts
08:56next time you order a Thai food to sound smart.
09:00Oh, this looks spicy.
09:03Ready?
09:04Cheers.
09:14This is really spicy.
09:15Wait a minute.
09:16Wait a minute.
09:17Does anybody have an antacid?
09:20So you've made it to the last round,
09:22and this round we call the game
09:25You either have to do what's on the card,
09:28or you have to take a bite of this chili
09:31and swallow it with the curry.
09:33No!
09:34You're making me a little bitch.
09:35If I can do it, you can do it, too.
09:37She's making shit up now.
09:38I am not.
09:39And since you are the guest,
09:40you get to go first.
09:43Lick a bar of soap,
09:44and I will do that.
09:45Okay.
09:47Lick.
09:48Oh, my God!
09:49That's such a cheating!
09:51No, no, no.
09:52It has to be slow.
09:53Okay.
09:54Lick it.
09:56Oh, God.
09:58At least your mouth is clean now.
10:03Eat a banana sensually.
10:06So...
10:10That's so fucking nasty.
10:14If I eat, will you stop?
10:20I will eat.
10:21I'll just eat.
10:23I'll just eat.
10:24Please stop.
10:25Please stop.
10:26Hey, bite your teeth.
10:30Let's agree to do this one together.
10:32Okay, fine.
10:33Do the whipped cream challenge.
10:37I'm lactose intolerant.
10:39Can we have two trash bags, please?
10:42I'm ready.
10:43Are you?
10:44You know, this outfit looks
10:46almost as good as that one you made.
10:49Three, two, one.
10:59Two stops now, bitch.
11:01I won.
11:08You did right above average,
11:11but I have to calculate my scores
11:13to reconfirm how well you did.
11:15So what, are you just gonna use the calculator app
11:18because you can't add?
11:20Oh, wait, did you say something?
11:22I was checking my Instagram post.
11:24You're such a fucking dick.
11:25You got a score of...
11:2916.7!
11:3116.7, that's great!
11:33Wow!
11:35Do you know what?
11:36Do you want to know what you've won?
11:37Hold on, hold on.
11:38What?
11:39What did I win?
11:41What?
11:45You've won a two-and-a-half-hour supply
11:49of House of Love mocktails.
11:52But that's not all.
11:54You also won an overripe mango.
11:59Ooh!
12:01Thank you so much, Juju, for coming today.
12:04I had such a good time.
12:06Until next time...
12:08Stop laughing, it needs an effect!
12:11Until next time, I am Pangina,
12:14and this was Tongue Tied.
12:17But what do you call it?