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01:52Jeeves, good evening sir.
01:54Ah, welcome back, Jeeves.
01:56Did you have a good holiday?
01:58Thank you, sir. Yes, most refreshing.
02:02And there's a letter for you, sir.
02:04Delivered by hand.
02:06Oh, really? Well, open it up, Jeeves.
02:08That's the other worst. Herne Bay is exciting as ever.
02:10Relaxing is more the word that springs to mind, sir.
02:14The letter is from a Mr. Percy Gorringe, sir.
02:16Gorringe?
02:18Never heard of him. What does he say?
02:20Omitting extraneous matter
02:22and concentrating on essentials, sir,
02:24Mr. Gorringe wishes to borrow
02:26a thousand pounds from you.
02:28A thousand pounds?
02:30I don't even know him.
02:32He mentions that he is the stepson of Mr. L.G.
02:34Trotter, sir, with whom
02:36Mrs. Travers is acquainted.
02:38That's true. Aunt Elia has asked me to put the nose
02:40back on L.G. Trotter and spouse this very night.
02:42I mean to say, dash it, Jeeves.
02:44Why don't you start letting yourself be touched by
02:46stepson? I mean, where are you?
02:48It appears not to be so much a loan
02:50as a speculation, sir.
02:52Mr. Gorringe wishes to give you the opportunity
02:54of investing in his dramatization
02:56of Lady Florence Cray's
02:58novel, Spindrift, sir.
03:00Would you back a play, Jeeves?
03:02No, sir.
03:04Keep the money in the old oak chest, you think?
03:06That is certainly the course of action that I should advocate, sir.
03:08Yes.
03:10Jeeves, while I'm dressing,
03:12why don't you mix me
03:14a strengthening cocktail?
03:16Very good, sir.
03:20♪
03:32What ho, Jeeves?
03:34♪
03:36♪
03:38Something is arresting your
03:40attention, Jeeves? A smut on my nose,
03:42perhaps? No, sir, on your upper lip.
03:44I thought for a moment that a caterpillar
03:46had lost its bearings.
03:48You're alluding to the moustache.
03:50Yes, well, as you can see, I've not been idle
03:52while you were away. Rather natty, don't you think?
03:54No, sir, I do not.
03:56Jeeves, I had hoped for your sympathy
03:58and cooperation. I've been put to
04:00considerable trouble and anxiety growing this moustache.
04:02I do not propose to hew it off
04:04because certain prejudiced parties, whom I will
04:06not specify, don't know a good thing when they
04:08see it. J'y suis, j'y reste, Jeeves.
04:10♪
04:12♪
04:14♪
04:16Mr.
04:18Cheesewright, sir.
04:20I thought as much. Swilling cocktails,
04:22eh? I fail to
04:24understand you, officer. I'm not an officer
04:26anymore. I've left the police force.
04:28Well, be that as it may, this is the hour
04:30when it is customary for an English gentleman
04:32to partake of a short one. Will you join me?
04:34No, I won't. And I've
04:36come here to have a serious talk with you, Worcester.
04:38Now, what do you suppose those things
04:40are doing to your eye?
04:42For your information, Cheesewright, one must not administer
04:44alcohol by the eye, or even by the ear.
04:46The mouth is the correct orifice.
04:48Not if one's meant to be in training for the
04:50Drones' darts tournament, it isn't.
04:52Ah, yes, of course. You've drawn me in the sweepstake, haven't you?
04:54Well, your money is safe, Cheesewright.
04:56The Worcester form is as devastating as ever.
04:58We want to win this year, Worcester.
05:00Not another dratty tie.
05:02I happened to look into the Drones
05:04this afternoon. Freddie Wigin
05:06was at the darts board, stunning
05:08everyone with a performance that
05:10took the breath away.
05:12Cha!
05:14Eh? I said cha!
05:16Scornfully, with ref to F. Wigin.
05:18I know his form backwards.
05:20He's knocked off smoking, you know?
05:22No. He takes a cold
05:24bath every morning.
05:26He's forgotten where the hot tap is.
05:28And he never goes to bed.
05:30Yes, well, good night, Stilton. You'll want to be running along, no doubt.
05:32No, I won't.
05:34Florence is meeting me here, and we're
05:36dining with my uncle. Oh, really?
05:38Well, well. Splendid.
05:40What do you mean, splendid?
05:42I should like to have her opinion of this moustache of mine.
05:44I could tell you that.
05:46It's revolting. You had a moustache when you were at Oxford.
05:48You looked like a man
05:50peering over a privet hedge.
05:52Exactly.
05:54Lady Florence Cray, sir.
05:56Hello, Darcy. Hello, Bertie.
05:58Bertie.
06:00The moustache
06:02is lovely.
06:04Oh, thank you, Florence.
06:06How is Spindrift going?
06:08Oh, splendidly. You know it's been made into a play.
06:10Yes, yes, I'd heard about that.
06:12Percy Gorringe did the dramatization.
06:14He's made a splendid job of it.
06:16Bit of a hitch at the moment, though.
06:18Oh? One of the backers has pulled out.
06:20We need another thousand pounds.
06:22Ha!
06:24Percy assures me
06:26that he can raise the money.
06:28That louse. He couldn't raise tuppence.
06:30I will not have you call Percy
06:32a louse. He's very attractive
06:34and very clever. Attractive?
06:36Who's he attractive? Never mind whom he attracts.
06:38Name three people he ever attracted.
06:40Oh, Darcy, please.
06:42Are we going to dinner
06:44or are we not?
06:50Goodbye, Bertie.
06:52Love the moustache.
06:58Are you Mr. Wooster?
07:00That's right, yes.
07:02I'm Mrs. Trotter of Liverpool.
07:04How do you do? This is Mr. Trotter.
07:06How do you do? And our stepson, Mr. Gorringe.
07:08How do you do?
07:10Mr. Trotter has
07:12many business interests.
07:14That's why we're so late.
07:16He was talking to your Auntie Dahlia
07:18on the telephone about this
07:20magazine of hers she wants Mr. Trotter
07:22to buy. Milady's Boudoir?
07:24Some such name.
07:26I didn't know she was selling.
07:28No, Trotter. Let the waiter
07:30put the serviette on your knee.
07:32Waiter!
07:34Did you get my letter? Darcy,
07:36my dear, would you just check the clasp
07:38of my pearls? It feels a little insecure.
07:40One wouldn't like to scatter
07:42such valuable pearls all over
07:44a restaurant.
07:46Nope.
07:48Seems fine.
07:52Is this the best table?
07:54Oh, I think... Mr. Trotter
07:56always has the best tables.
07:58In Liverpool and Manchester.
08:00I'm sure that's true.
08:02Right, well, I'll...
08:04I'll get a menu, then, shall I?
08:16Brandy, please, George. A large one.
08:30If only I could make up my mind
08:32whether to break your foul neck
08:34or not. Break my foul
08:36neck? Why? After dining with
08:38my uncle, I saw Florence home
08:40in a cab. All the
08:42way, she was raving about that moustache
08:44of yours. It made me sick to listen to her.
08:46Very upsetting. Shut up!
08:48Right. Then
08:50she announced that she wished me to
08:52grow a moustache, too.
08:54In high school, I'd look with a moustache. I said,
08:56you look a nice fool without one, she said.
08:58Why, is that so, I said? Yes, it is, she said.
09:00Then,
09:02she gave me back her ring and said
09:04the engagement was off. You'd planned
09:06this, hadn't you?
09:08How could I possibly plan it? Your cunning
09:10fiend's brain spotted what was bound to occur
09:12if you grew a moustache and let Florence
09:14see it. Certainly not.
09:16As a matter of fact, I haven't got a cunning
09:18fiend's brain. Ah! That's exactly
09:20what you said you did have.
09:22No, it isn't.
09:25Well,
09:27if I find
09:29my suspicions are correct,
09:31I shall know what to do about it.
09:33I shall break your
09:35rotten spine in three places.
09:42No.
09:44No, please. Further discussion
09:46is useless. You must
09:48accept that my decision is final.
09:50Good night.
09:52Who was that, Jeeves?
09:54A little tiff with one of the lads at the Ganymede Club?
09:56No, sir. That was Mr. Percy
09:58Gorringe who telephoned shortly before you
10:00entered. Affecting to be yourself,
10:02sir, I assured him that his
10:04request to borrow a thousand pounds
10:06could not be entertained. I thought it would save you some
10:08discomfort. Well, dash decent of you,
10:10Jeeves. I had to steer him away from the subject
10:12all the way through dinner. Did you enjoy
10:14yourself at the club? Very much so, sir.
10:16Thank you. More than I did at mine.
10:18After an unspeakable
10:20dinner with the Trotter clan, I repaired
10:22thither for a restorative brandy and ran into
10:24Stilton Cheesewright again, who informed me that
10:26Lady Florence had broken off the engagement
10:28and that it was all the fault of my moustache.
10:30I think I'll go to bed
10:32with an improving book. Lady Florence
10:34also telephoned before you came in,
10:36sir. She was desirous
10:38that you should take her to a nightclub.
10:40What, tonight? Yes, sir.
10:42She specified a low, garish
10:44establishment for the purposes of research
10:46for her next novel. Well, no fear,
10:48Jeeves. What do you think Stilton would say if he found out
10:50that I'd taken his recently disengaged
10:52fiancée to a low, garish nightclub?
10:54I imagine that he might be somewhat dismayed,
10:56sir. On the other hand, sir, it would afford
10:58you an excellent opportunity to attempt to
11:00persuade Lady Florence against any
11:02precipitate abjuration of Mr. Cheesewright.
11:04Yes, Jeeves, I see what you mean.
11:06Yes, the seasoned man of the world, experienced
11:08in affairs of the heart, counseling
11:10against a rash decision.
11:12Precisely, sir. As long as
11:14Lady Florence is unattached, there is always the
11:16danger of her turning her attentions towards you again,
11:18sir. She becomes what is known in nautical
11:20circles as a loose cannon.
11:22There is much in what you say, Jeeves.
11:24All right, then, book us a table at the Mottled Oyster.
11:26Very good, sir.
11:30I am sorry to drag
11:32you out, Bertie, only it had to be tonight.
11:34And Darcy Cheesewright had a headache.
11:36Ah, well... And I'm going down to Worcestershire
11:38tomorrow to stay with your aunt.
11:40Aunt Delia? Oh, you're like Brinkley Court.
11:42Fresh air, gravel soil,
11:44company's own water. And Daphne Dolores
11:46Moorhead's going to be there.
11:48Daphne... Dolores Moorhead, the novelist.
11:50Apparently, she's doing the serial
11:52for my lady's boudoir. The higher aunt
11:54can afford her, I can't imagine.
11:56Daphne Dolores Moorhead's frightfully expensive.
11:58Well, the old mag must be doing well.
12:00I heard tonight that Aunt Delia was trying to sell it.
12:10This is wonderful!
12:12What horrible people!
12:14Are all nightclubs like this?
12:16Ah, well, this is about average
12:18for the unlicensed places. Unlicensed?
12:20You said you wanted somewhere low and garish.
12:22Oh, no, I'm not complaining.
12:24This is just the sort of place
12:26I pictured Rollo coming to that night.
12:28Rollo? The hero of my novel.
12:30Rollo Beaminster.
12:32He's in a wild mood.
12:34Reckless, desperate. He's lost the girl
12:36he loves. And he comes to this low
12:38nightclub trying to forget.
12:40But it's useless. He looks around
12:42him at the glitter and garishness
12:44and feels how hollow it all is.
12:46Yes, I saw
12:48Stilton at the Drone's tonight.
12:50Oh, yes?
12:52Yes, he was in a wild mood.
12:54He looked about him at the Drone's smoking room
12:56and I could see he was feeling what a hollow
12:58smoking room it was.
13:00Bertie.
13:02Hello?
13:04Bertie, all this nonsense
13:06you're talking, trying to reconcile
13:08me with Darcy,
13:10I think it's rather wonderful of you.
13:12You want to marry me yourself,
13:14don't you?
13:16No, rather, of course.
13:18But I mean to say, who wouldn't?
13:20Good Lord.
13:22Whistle.
13:24All right, everybody keep your seat.
13:26These premises have been
13:28graded under the provisional... Bertie.
13:30No, no. No need to get the breeze up. Just the usual thing.
13:32Won't they arrest us?
13:34No, no. No danger of that whatsoever.
13:36How do you know?
13:38All of this is old stuff to me.
13:40We give our names and addresses, exercising
13:42a certain latitude as regards the details.
13:44I, for example, generally call myself Ephraim Gadsby
13:46of the Nasturtiums Jubilee Road Streatham Common.
13:48Do you know why? Just a whim.
13:50These formalities concluded,
13:52we shall then be free to depart, leaving only the proprietor
13:54to face the awful majesty of the law.
13:56I'm sure that's not what happens.
13:58It is.
14:00Unless they've changed the rules.
14:02You have to appear in court.
14:04Well, I'm not going to risk it.
14:06Good night.
14:08Oi, you!
14:14Right.
14:16You're next.
14:18The constable
14:20says you deliberately tripped him,
14:22Mr. Gadsby.
14:24No, no, Your Honour. No, no.
14:26I had a touch of cramp. You know how you sometimes want
14:28a stretch. I'm strongly inclined
14:30to give you one, a good long stretch.
14:32That's very good.
14:34Silence.
14:36However, in consideration of your youth,
14:38I will exercise clemency.
14:40Oh, fine. Precisely.
14:42Pay ten pounds.
14:48Did you know that magistrates
14:50are really professional comedians, Jeeves?
14:52No, sir. That fact had not been drawn
14:54to my attention.
14:56One gag after another, the whole court roaring
14:58with laughter, and all at my expense.
15:00It was a most galling experience, sir.
15:02Mrs. Travers telephoned an hour ago, sir.
15:04She was most desirous
15:06that you should call round to Eaton Square this morning.
15:08That's probably that magistrate
15:10wanting to sign me up as his permanent straight man.
15:14Bertie.
15:16Aren't you going to Brinkley this morning?
15:18Oh, I'm just on my way to the station.
15:20I thought I'd pop in and see how you got on last night.
15:22Constabularies scooped me in.
15:24I thought you said they wouldn't arrest anybody.
15:26Well, they did this time. I had a rather testing morning
15:28at Vinton Street Police Court.
15:30Did you say Vinton Street?
15:32That's right.
15:34The magistrate there is Darcy's uncle.
15:36The one you had dinner with last night?
15:38Imagine if I'd had to appear before him in the dock this morning.
15:40Darcy would have broken the engagement.
15:42I thought you'd done that already.
15:44Oh, no. He telephoned me this morning and climbed down.
15:46He's starting to grow a moustache today.
15:48Mind you don't breathe a word to him
15:50about being at that place with you.
15:52Of course not.
15:54Darcy's so jealous.
15:56Uncle?
15:58Darcy.
16:00Good of you to come.
16:02How are you?
16:04Jolly nice dinner you gave us last night.
16:06What I called you about was I...
16:12What I called you about was I had a fellow up in front of me this morning.
16:14You were out at Oxford with Wooster.
16:16He gave a false name, but I remembered him.
16:18He got into a fight with a woman.
16:20I thought I'd call you.
16:22I thought I'd call you.
16:24He gave a false name, but I remembered him.
16:26He got into a scrape over some blancmange, I seem to recall.
16:28Bertie Wooster. Oh, yeah.
16:30Not a friend of yours, is he?
16:32One has to be so careful, Darcy, who one keeps up with.
16:34Good Lord, now!
16:42What was the charge?
16:44Nasty business. A nightclub. Some girl.
16:46An assault on a police officer.
16:48Really?
16:50And this happened last night?
16:52Tell me about it.
17:12Bertie, you unspeakable one.
17:14You very nearly missed me.
17:16I want you to come down to Brinkley.
17:18Can't be done, Elder Ancestor.
17:20What do you mean, can't be done?
17:22You've been asked to form a government.
17:24You've got to come and be charming to the Trotters.
17:26No, no, no. I've already taken them to dinner.
17:28I've done my bit for aunt and country.
17:30But more is needed.
17:32I've got to persuade Trotter to take my lady's boudoir off my hands.
17:34I thought you loved it like a son.
17:36Bertie, if magazines had ears,
17:38my lady's boudoir would be up to them in debt.
17:40I've got nasty little men in bowler hats knocking at my door.
17:42I can't possibly come down to Brinkley injured.
17:44If I'm seen within a 20-mile radius of Florence Cray,
17:46I'll get my spine broken.
17:48Oh, you're so selfish, Bertie.
17:50You don't know how important this is to me.
17:52Well, you don't know how important my spine is to me.
17:54I'm very attached to it.
17:56More's the pity.
17:58Well, if your uncle finds out about this,
18:00and aunts curse me upon you, that's all I have to say.
18:08Good afternoon, sir.
18:10Mr Cheesewright is here to see you, sir.
18:12Oh, no.
18:14Where were you last night, you blighted louse?
18:16Last night? Let me see.
18:18You were in a lone nightclub
18:20with Florence Cray, my fiancée.
18:22And this morning, you were in the dock
18:24at Vinton Street Police Court.
18:26Oh, no, no.
18:28Don't say no, no, no. My uncle told me.
18:30He's the magistrate there, and he remembers you
18:32from when we were at Oxford.
18:34London's full of chaps who look like me.
18:36There's a fellow called Ephraim Gadsby who's my absolute double.
18:38He said you were arrested
18:40for tripping a policeman up
18:42while he was chasing a girl at this nightclub.
18:44Certainly, Stilton. I'd attach little credence
18:46to the word of the sort of policeman
18:48who spends his time chasing girls in nightclubs like the...
18:52What did you say his name was?
18:54I didn't.
18:56It was the Mottled Oyster.
18:58Ah, the... Yes.
19:00Well, I've heard of it, of course. Not a very nice place, I understand.
19:02Would a fastidious, intellectual girl like Florence
19:04go to a place like that? No, no.
19:06Oh, Jeeves? Sir?
19:08When I came home last night, do you recall my saying to you
19:10that I was going straight to bed with an improving book?
19:12Thank you, Jeeves.
19:14Ah, I rest my case.
19:16If that doesn't leave me without a stain on my character,
19:18well, then I don't know what it does leave me without a stain on.
19:20Well,
19:22if I find evidence you haven't been telling me the truth,
19:24I shall break your spine in four places.
19:26You said three last night.
19:28Well, it's four now.
19:30And luckily, Florence is going to be out of your slimy reach for a bit.
19:32She's going to stay with your aunt in Worcestershire.
19:34Really? Are you going too?
19:36No, I'm not.
19:38Talk sense, man. I'm growing a moustache.
19:40I'm not going out at all while it's sprouting.
19:42And don't forget what I said about your spine.
19:52With Stilton Cheesewright continuing to rake around
19:54for evidence of my perfidy,
19:56if perfidy is the word I want,
19:58then Brinkley Court, even with the trotters,
20:00seems like a safer bed, don't you think, Jeeves?
20:02Well, it seems to me, sir, from your point of view,
20:04that Mr Cheesewright incorporates
20:06three highly dangerous characteristics.
20:08Great physical strength,
20:10a certain slowness of wit,
20:12and an unreliable temper.
20:14You've said it mouthful, Jeeves.
20:26Good afternoon, sir.
20:28Good afternoon, Semmings. How are you?
20:30Hello, Mr Semmings.
20:38Ah, what, no trotters at all?
20:46Go away!
20:48What, no Aunt Delia?
20:50Too late, Bertie.
20:52I'm beyond salvation.
20:54Mr Burwash is coming.
20:56Burwash?
20:58He's going to look at my necklace.
21:00Look at your necklace?
21:02Oh, please, Bertie, I'm not in the mood
21:04for your parrot imitations.
21:06I've charged him for my pearl necklace.
21:08This Burwash creature's
21:10some sort of pearl expert.
21:12Well, it's good, isn't it?
21:14No, it's not good, you blasted lame brain.
21:16That's an imitation.
21:18I pawned the real one.
21:20Oh, Lord.
21:22What did you do that for?
21:24I pawned the pearls because I needed the money.
21:26I needed the money to salt the mine.
21:28It's the first I've heard of any mines.
21:30Salting mines
21:32is a recognised business procedure.
21:34You've got a dud mine
21:36you want to sell to a mug,
21:38you sprinkle an ounce or two of gold over it.
21:40I used the money
21:42to buy a cereal
21:44from Daphne Delores Moorhead.
21:46She's arriving tomorrow.
21:48Elgie Trotter will meet her,
21:50hear that she's writing the cereal and think,
21:52gosh, Daphne Delores Moorhead and everything,
21:54the lady's boudoir must be on stuff.
21:56Go away!
22:00Have you seen Florence?
22:02No, we have not seen Florence.
22:04I thought she might be with you.
22:06Well, she isn't.
22:08If you'll find her,
22:10that telegram arrived for her.
22:12All right.
22:18Dear God.
22:20The reason he looks like a dying duck
22:22in a thunderstorm is that he's madly in love
22:24with Florence Gray.
22:26You might try and cheer him up a bit,
22:28he casts such a pall.
22:30No fear, he tried to touch me
22:32for a thousand quid.
22:34I turned him down like a bedspread.
22:36You're quite safe.
22:38Florence tells me he's raised the money elsewhere.
22:40Really?
22:42Joy, joy, joy
22:44in the morning.
22:46Joy, joy, joy,
22:48joy, joy, joy
22:50in the afternoon.
22:52And when it's time for supper.
22:54Otto Percy?
22:56Hello there, Worcester.
22:58Absolutely, you seem cheerful.
23:00That was a new poem.
23:02Has your aunt told you that I love Florence Gray?
23:04Yes, she did mention it, yes.
23:06She asked me why I was walking around
23:08like a dead codfish.
23:10I was told to confess that it was because
23:12I loved Florence with a consuming passion
23:14and had discovered that she was engaged
23:16to the oaf Cheeseride.
23:18Well, you seem more cheerful now.
23:20Oh, I am, I am.
23:22You know that telegram your aunt gave me for Florence?
23:24It was from Cheeseride
23:26breaking the engagement.
23:30What?
23:36What's all this I hear from Percy Gorringe?
23:38What?
23:40Stilton's broken off the engagement, he tells me.
23:42He has, and I'm delighted.
23:44Darcy Cheeseride is a low, mean,
23:46creeping, crawling,
23:48slinking, spying, despicable worm.
23:50Do you know what he did?
23:52He sneaked round to that nightclub
23:54and bribed some people
23:56and found that a table had been reserved
23:58that night in your name.
24:00This confirmed his degraded suspicion
24:02that we'd been there together.
24:04Yes, he didn't, I suppose, hint at the telegram
24:06and any plans he had with regard to me.
24:08He said he was going to break your spine
24:10in five places.
24:12Five places?
24:24There you go.
24:26Good evening, Mr Cheeseride.
24:28Nice to see you again, sir.
24:30Hello, Sippings.
24:32Mrs Travers did not warn me of your arrival, sir.
24:34No, she thought I wasn't coming.
24:36I had a change of plan.
24:38Very good, sir.
24:40The other guests are at dinner, sir.
24:42I'm sure Mrs Travers would be glad...
24:44No, I had something on the way down, thanks.
24:46I'll go straight to my room
24:48and get an early night.
24:50As you wish, sir.
24:52It's a scandal, of course,
24:54that Mr Trotter has never been recognised.
24:56I recognised him straight away.
24:58No.
25:00In the honours list, Mr Wooster.
25:02You only get a bunch of tuft hunters
25:04in that nowadays.
25:06Trouble in the world today is everybody's out
25:08for what they can get.
25:10Oh, Mr Trotter gives an incredulous amount
25:12to charity, you know.
25:14Blasted tradesmen are just as bad.
25:16Look at those pearls I bought daily last year.
25:18I'm not going to tell you how much
25:20you can charge me for them.
25:22Oh, pearls are such a price these days.
25:24Even Mr Trotter mentioned it
25:26when he bought me these.
25:28Anyway, I'm getting one of the world's top pearlmen
25:30to look at daily's pearls tomorrow.
25:32And then we'll see.
25:34It would appear to me
25:36that there is only one solution
25:38to the problem, Mrs Travers.
25:40If, as Mr Wooster informs me, madam,
25:42the jewellery expert is to be with us tomorrow,
25:44then it would seem that something
25:46in the nature of a burglarious entry
25:48is required, as a result of which
25:50the necklace will be abstracted.
25:52If the gentleman coming to examine the necklace
25:54finds that there is no necklace
25:56for him to examine...
25:58You don't have to explain in words of one syllable, Jeeves.
26:00Even Mr Wooster could understand that.
26:02Jeeves, Jeeves, this really saddens me, you know.
26:04Has that mighty brain at last come unglued?
26:06Where is Mrs Travers going to find a burglar
26:08at this time of night? The army and navy stalls?
26:10I was thinking that perhaps
26:12you might be persuaded to undertake the task, sir.
26:14Me, Jeeves?
26:16Gosh, Jeeves, what a wonderful idea.
26:18Hold on a minute, hold on a minute.
26:20I'll put the pearls on my dressing table, Bertie.
26:22All you need do is get a ladder,
26:24prop it up against the windowsill.
26:26My room's the end one on the right.
26:28No, no, no, Aunt Elia, no.
26:32No.
26:34No.
26:46No.
27:04It's all right. It's only me.
27:16It's all right.
27:26Oh, Bertie.
27:28You shouldn't have.
27:32Hello, Florence.
27:34Sorry about this.
27:36I went for a breather in the garden
27:38and found that I'd been locked out.
27:40So I thought that my best plan
27:42would be not to rouse the house for...
27:44Bertie, what a romantic you are.
27:46Eh?
27:48Isn't this
27:50just the sort of thing that you would do?
27:52I told you I was no longer engaged
27:54to Darcy Cheeser, and you just had to
27:56fly to me.
27:58Oh, good Lord, no. No, as I said,
28:00I went for a breather.
28:02Oh, but you don't think I'm angry, do you?
28:04Of course I'm not. Very touched.
28:06Your Aunt Agatha is quite wrong.
28:08Aunt Agatha? What's Aunt Agatha got to do with it?
28:10She keeps insisting that you're a vapid
28:12and irreflective nitwit who ought to be
28:14put into some good mental home.
28:16Of all the nerve!
28:18But I know that I can mould you, Bertie.
28:20I just hate to think of leaving you in the darkness
28:22to do nothing but smoke and drink
28:24in that awful Drone's Club and...
28:26Who's there?
28:28Me, Darcy.
28:30Come on, let me in.
28:34Darcy, when I didn't know that you were here...
28:36Why?
28:38What do you want?
28:40Give me the letter.
28:42Leave the mother that!
28:44I want to see it.
28:46It's gone.
28:48I must see it.
28:50This kind of man are ridiculous.
28:52I'm coming in now.
28:54You're not coming in here.
28:56That is where you make your mistakes.
29:00I'm coming in now.
29:02No!
29:06Here are your letters.
29:08Thank you.
29:10You notice I have shaved off my moustache?
29:14No.
29:16Well, I have.
29:18It was my first action on finding out
29:20that you had been sneaking off to nightclubs
29:22with the louse Worcester.
29:24I would be most grateful if you would take
29:26that pumpkin head of yours out of here, Mr Cheesewright.
29:28Do you think I didn't see through your pitiful subterfuge?
29:30How can I get rid of this Cheesewright,
29:32you said to yourself?
29:34Ha! I have it, you said to yourself.
29:36I'll tell him he has to grow a moustache.
29:38And you'll say, like hell I'll grow a bally moustache.
29:40And I'll say, oh, you won't, won't you?
29:42All right.
29:44Then all is over between us.
29:46That'll fix it.
29:48The door is just behind you, Mr Cheesewright.
29:50It opens if you turn the handle.
29:52Never mind about the door.
29:54I'm talking about you and the leper Worcester.
29:56I suppose you will now hitch yourself to him.
29:58Am I right?
30:00Absolutely right.
30:02It is your intention
30:04to marry that human gumboil.
30:06It is.
30:08It's that.
30:14Oh, hello, Stilton.
30:16Come out of there, serpent.
30:18Yes, now, you are doubtless surprised.
30:20I will not sully Lady Florence's room
30:22with violent Worcester.
30:24You will find me
30:26waiting in the corridor.
30:34You can't stay here all night.
30:44Sir!
30:46One moment, Cheesewright.
30:48What?
30:50Before you do anything that you may regret,
30:52don't forget that you have drawn me
30:54in the Drones Club dart sweep.
30:56What?
30:58In what sort of condition shall I be
31:00to win the darts tourney
31:02and put nearly 60 quid in your pocket
31:04if you pull the strong-arm stuff
31:06that you are now contemplating?
31:08What?
31:10Good night, Stilton.
31:20Bertie, do you expect me
31:22to wait up all night for you
31:24to accomplish a simple, easy task
31:26that a child of six could have had all done
31:28in less than a quarter of an hour?
31:30Mr. Kinswoman, let me put one to you.
31:32Why did you tell me that your room
31:34was the end one on the right?
31:36Because it is the end one on the right.
31:38Pardon me?
31:40Looking from the house.
31:42Looking from the house?
31:44Don't tell me you climbed
31:46into the wrong bedroom.
31:48Scarcely been wrong, our Florence craze.
31:50You'll have to marry the girl.
31:52Exactly what she has in mind.
31:54Dahlia!
31:56Thought I heard your voice.
31:58Mr. Worcester had a headache, sir,
32:00and I was forced to rouse
32:02Mrs. Travers for medicaments.
32:04Yes, yes.
32:06You're out and about a bit late yourself, aren't you, Uncle Tom?
32:08Taking a stroll in the garden,
32:10saw a blasted ladder propped up
32:12against one of the windows.
32:14Got it out of the way in a nick of time.
32:16Minute later, we'd had burglars streaming in.
32:18Probably just the ladder
32:20one of the gardeners was using.
32:22If I may say so, Mrs. Travers,
32:24there is always the danger
32:26of a removable pearl necklace.
32:28I'd forgotten that.
32:30I hadn't. It was the first thing I thought of.
32:32I went straight up to your room and got it.
32:34I've locked it in the safe.
32:36A burglar will have to be pretty smart
32:38to get it out of there.
32:40Good night.
32:42Hell's whiskers.
32:44Now what are we to do?
32:56Wooster?
32:58Lady Florence has just told me
33:00that she's engaged to you.
33:02Has she? Well, yes, of course, quite.
33:04But it was only yesterday
33:06that she was engaged to Cheesewright.
33:08It's very confusing.
33:10Well, no, it's the matter.
33:12You're not wearing a hat.
33:14You might get sunstroke.
33:16I don't see what it's got to do with you.
33:18Your health is naturally a very great concern to me
33:20now that I have drawn you in the drones club dart sweep.
33:22No, no, no, no, no.
33:24Stilton Cheesewright's drawn me.
33:26There's a lot of hidden good in Cheesewright.
33:28He told me that this darts contest
33:30is usually a tie,
33:32but that you were the certain winner this year.
33:34Yet he voluntarily offered to sell me
33:36the ticket bearing your name.
33:38He's looking for you, by the way.
33:42Wooster?
33:44Wooster?
33:46Wooster?
33:54Stilton has sold the sweepstake ticket
33:56to Percy Gorringe.
33:58I have no time for your tongue twisters, Bertie.
34:00Read this.
34:02Regret unavoidably detained London.
34:04DDM. Who's DDM?
34:06Daphne Delores of Moorhead, you're putting.
34:08The only hope I had left was that the Moorhead pill
34:10would impress Trotter so much
34:12he'd buy my lady's boudoir,
34:14make her money, redeem the pearls
34:16before this blasted burwash creature arrived.
34:18I'm finished, Bertie.
34:20Pardon me, Mrs. Travers.
34:22No, Jeeves, this is beyond even your powers.
34:24Perhaps so, madam.
34:26But if you could find someone
34:28willing to impersonate Miss Moorhead...
34:30Oh, tosh, Jeeves.
34:32Who could possi...
34:34No, no, no, no, no, no.
34:36No, seriously and definitely no.
34:38I'm prepared to do many things for you, Aunt Delia,
34:40but putting on earrings at a frock
34:42to be an American lady novelist is not among them.
34:44Besides, I've got a moustache.
34:46With lady novelists, that's a positive asset.
34:48Bertie, you've got to.
34:50I am sorry, Aunt Delia.
34:52Jeeves gets these wild ideas
34:54about dressing up as American lady novelists
34:56and climbing in through bedroom windows.
34:58You seize upon them without a moment's thought,
35:00and I'm the one who's expected...
35:02Jeeves!
35:12Wooster!
35:14Wooster!
35:16Come here, Wooster, you snake in the grass!
35:18If I catch you, Wooster, I'll...
35:20Oh, Bertie!
35:22What is it, Lawrence?
35:24Darcy!
35:26Darcy Cheesewright.
35:28Are you chasing Bertie?
35:30I, um...
35:32I wanted to tell him something.
35:34Darcy, I'm surprised at you.
35:36Now, I want you both to shake hands
35:38and to promise to be friends.
35:40All right.
35:42There.
35:44Doesn't that feel better?
35:48Wooster, the homebreaker.
35:50Wooster, the snake in the grass.
35:52Six places, was it?
35:54Um, five at the last count.
35:56Yeah, that is fairly tough to you, of course.
35:58Why, hello.
36:00I'm Daphne Delores Moorhead.
36:02I'm here to see Mrs Travers.
36:04Oh, the novelist.
36:06Yes.
36:08Yes.
36:10She told me all about you.
36:12Why are you two holding hands like that?
36:14Is that some English custom?
36:16I'm Darcy Cheesewright.
36:18Mr Cheesewright.
36:20Heavens to Betsy!
36:22I thought your face was familiar.
36:24You used to row for Oxford College.
36:26Somebody pointed you out to me
36:28at an eights-week ball one year.
36:30You had a mustache then.
36:32I do declare you look so much handsomer
36:34without a mustache.
36:36I do declare you look so much handsomer
36:38without it.
36:40Mustaches really are the end, are they not?
36:42Would you like me to show you
36:44around the grounds, Miss Moorhead?
36:46Oh, well, now, that's really very sweet of you,
36:48Mr Cheesewright, but I ought to say hello
36:50to our hostess.
36:52I'm sure Mrs Travers wouldn't mind.
36:54Oh, I think she would,
36:56wouldn't she, Mr Wooster?
36:58No, no, not at all.
37:00No, nothing she'd like better
37:02than for you to see the grounds in fact.
37:04I hope so, Mr Cheesewright.
37:12What do you mean
37:14Cheesewright's taken a fancy to her?
37:16She's Jeeves!
37:18Well, you know how impressionable these young chaps are.
37:20Jeeves can't waste his time
37:22with Cheesewright.
37:24We've got to get him together with Trotter.
37:28You're a dashed handsome woman, Daphne.
37:30Do you know that?
37:32I wouldn't say such things, Mr Cheesewright.
37:34Tell me more about this
37:36Mr Trotter. He sounds absolutely
37:38fascinating.
37:40Oh, I can think of a lot of other things I'd rather tell you.
37:42Well, now, I warned you, Mr Cheesewright.
37:44Mustn't be naughty.
37:46Oh, aren't you a little naughty sometimes?
37:48I'm not that kind of a girl.
37:50What sort of a girl are you then, Daphne?
37:52Well, I think you might be just awfully surprised,
37:54Mr Cheesewright. Oh, please, don't do that,
37:56Mr Cheesewright.
37:58Oh, I know all about you artistic girls.
38:00Oh, come on.
38:02Just one little kiss.
38:04Mr Cheesewright!
38:08Some men simply won't be told.
38:12Daphne's last three novels
38:14have all been absolute bestsellers.
38:16Tell Mr and Mrs Trotter
38:18about the serial you're writing for Milady's Boudoir, Daphne.
38:20Oh, well,
38:22it's the story of a young,
38:24innocent American girl,
38:26just like me, coming to London
38:28for the very first time.
38:30Oh, London.
38:32Well, I suppose it could be
38:34anywhere, couldn't it, Daphne?
38:36Well... In fact, it really
38:38might make it rather more interesting if it were,
38:40well, I don't know, Liverpool,
38:42perhaps. Why, what a
38:44wonderful idea, Delia.
38:46Anyways, on her very first day...
38:48Are you familiar with our own
38:50great Liverpool writers?
38:52Maisie Fazakerley, for example.
38:54Why, no,
38:56Mrs Trotter, that surely is one of the
38:58little treats I've been promising myself.
39:02More tea, Trotter?
39:08Ah, I say, Wooster, what a corker,
39:10eh, that Daphne de Roys-Moorhead?
39:12Well, yes, she has a
39:14certain something, I must say. Ah, she likes me too,
39:16you know. You can always tell, can't you?
39:20Well, I don't think
39:22she's all that wonderful, I must say.
39:24Oh!
39:32Well, how did it go with the Trotters?
39:34You made a big hit with Stilton, Jeeves.
39:36You ought to get your trousseau ready. Thank you, sir.
39:38Most amusing. If I might have
39:40a word with you, Mrs Travers?
39:48I've heard something from Mr Cheesewright,
39:50madam, who had it from his uncle in the Home Office,
39:52which I feel may unlock the quandary
39:54in which you find yourself. Oh, Jeeves,
39:56tell me. Well, madam,
39:58it appears that Mrs Trotter is
40:00socially ambitious. She yearns
40:02to be the toast of her native Liverpool,
40:04but she feels she can only realise
40:06her ambition if she is addressed as
40:08Lady Trotter. But Mr
40:10Trotter shrinks from the prospect
40:12of being addressed as Sir Lemuel.
40:16Lemuel, Jeeves? His name's not Lemuel.
40:18I fear so, sir.
40:20He could use his second name. Hardly,
40:22madam. His second name is
40:24Gengulfus. By George,
40:26there's some raw work pulled at the front
40:28sometimes, isn't there? But I
40:30don't see where all this gets us. If Mr
40:32Trotter were made aware that the only
40:34alternative to his buying Milady's
40:36boudoir might be the unfortunate
40:38discovery by Mrs Trotter that
40:40he had already been offered a knighthood
40:42and declined it, he might become
40:44somewhat more malleable.
40:46He's turned down a knighthood?
40:48Forgive him. We've got him
40:50told!
40:52Here comes Trotter now.
40:54Aunt Daly is just
40:56sitting there, reading her newspaper.
40:58He would actually broach the subject
41:00of blackmail, Jeeves. A tricky one.
41:02Oh, yes, sir. There's always a danger
41:04that the victim might become obstreperous
41:06or even violent.
41:08Sitting down now, too?
41:10Seems to be chatting quite amicably.
41:14No, Jeeves. He's on his
41:16feet.
41:18He's waving his arms.
41:20He's stalking off.
41:22He'll come back, sir.
41:24I don't think so, Jeeves. He's coming
41:26into the house.
41:28Aunt Daly doesn't seem bothered. He's just reading her newspaper again.
41:30Mrs Travers
41:32is no stranger to these negotiations,
41:34if you recall, sir.
41:36No, indeed, Jeeves. No.
41:38No, you're right. He's coming back.
41:40Aunt Daly won't talk to him
41:42now. She's just going on reading the Times.
41:44And he's pleading with her.
41:46Oh, yes. She's looking at him now, all right.
41:48Jeeves, he's
41:50writing out a cheque.
41:52Perhaps there will be a happy end to this story after all,
41:54sir. He's handed her the cheque.
41:56She's standing up now,
41:58too. Oh, yes. It's all smiles now.
42:00He's kissed her on the
42:02cheek. Good Lord.
42:04She's slapped him on the back.
42:06Now she's helping him up,
42:08dusting down his suit.
42:10She's done it, Jeeves.
42:12Welcome back, Jeeves.
42:14Come on.
42:18Now, Jeeves,
42:20take Trotter's cheque to the bank
42:22in Bramlingham and pay it in.
42:24Then cash this cheque for a thousand pounds
42:26and take it to the pawnbroker's.
42:28The address is on the ticket. Very good, Mrs Travers.
42:30This valuer fellow's due at
42:32four o'clock. Can you do all that
42:34and get the pearls back here by then?
42:36I shall do my very best, madam. Splendid.
42:42♪
42:54Bertie, it's Barwash, the pearl
42:56expert. He's arrived early.
42:58♪
43:00♪
43:02♪
43:04Good morning. Good day, Jeff.
43:06Good to see you coming this way. Not at all,
43:08Mr Travers. I caught an earlier train.
43:10I hope it won't inconvenience you.
43:12Don't doubt us at all, not at all.
43:14Look, let me show you these pearls
43:16I was talking about.
43:18I bought them from Aspinall's
43:20about a year ago,
43:22you understand.
43:24♪
43:26Oh!
43:28Oh! Tom's
43:30burglar!
43:32Tom, upstairs, quickly! I saw him!
43:34What, another one?
43:36The devil's in broad daylight, too.
43:38How do you do,
43:40Mr Barwash? I'm Delia Travers.
43:42How do you do?
43:44Do you have a lot of burglars
43:46in these parts? Oh, any amount!
43:48They're, they're, they're
43:50quite a, quite a
43:52blight on the area, you know.
43:54Oh? Well, it's bad enough
43:56in London.
43:58♪
44:00It's such a
44:02catchy tune, isn't it? Yes.
44:04I simply can't get it out of my head.
44:06Oh!
44:08I can't get it out of my head!
44:10Oh!
44:12Look, there's Tom now.
44:14♪
44:16♪
44:18♪
44:20Help!
44:22Help! He's fainted!
44:24Tom!
44:26Can't you understand
44:28the simplest thing, Bertie? Well, how was I supposed to?
44:30Oh, never mind that now. There's only one thing
44:32for it. We've got to steal Mrs Travers'
44:34pearls and pretend they're mine.
44:36What?
44:38What? He's fainted!
44:40God!
44:42♪
44:44♪
44:46♪
44:48♪
44:50♪
44:52♪
44:54♪
44:56♪
44:58♪
45:00♪
45:02♪
45:04Joy! Joy!
45:06Joy in the afternoon!
45:08Bertie!
45:10♪
45:12Hello.
45:14Are you waiting for my mother?
45:16I beg your pardon? That's her room, isn't it?
45:18I thought... No, no.
45:20Yes, yes, that's right, it is.
45:22I am. What a charming
45:24woman she is. I'm just...
45:26I've got them.
45:28Ah!
45:30What's going on?
45:32Um, well,
45:34honey, you should ask that. No, it's no good.
45:36Mr Gorringe,
45:38we're just borrowing your mother's pearls.
45:40Without her knowledge?
45:42Yes. My pearls have
45:44gone missing and I've got to have something to show
45:46that blasted pearl expert. You can't show him
45:48those. We'll put them back immediately.
45:50They're not real.
45:54Look, Mother asked me to take
45:56her necklace to be cleaned. I needed
45:58£1,000 urgently to put into
46:00Florence's play, so I pawned
46:02the necklace and had an imitation made.
46:04What? Well, I
46:06must say, I don't know
46:08what's happened to this younger generation.
46:10Percy.
46:12Who did that for me?
46:14And I'd do it again.
46:16No, Percy!
46:18That's all very well, but... Seppitz! Seppitz!
46:20Get the police!
46:22Seppitz!
46:24Where the hell are you? Seppitz!
46:26What
46:28on earth's the matter, Tom?
46:30Your dashed pearls
46:32have been stolen. I gave them to Burbos.
46:34He fainted. Now they're not here.
46:46Are there any sadder words
46:48in the English language, Jeeves?
46:50Too late.
46:52None, madam.
46:54Well, can't we just say that we
46:56found them lying somewhere? Where?
46:58Well?
47:00What are you doing with that razor,
47:02Jeeves? There is,
47:04unfortunately, only one
47:06answer to Mrs Travers's problem,
47:08sir.
47:14If them pearls is in this house,
47:16my men will find them, sir.
47:18My men is like orcs.
47:20Orcs?
47:22Orcs, on the eyesight.
47:24What is everybody waiting for?
47:26My pearls have been
47:28stolen.
47:30Yes, Jeeves, what is it?
47:32I regret to say, madam, that one of
47:34your maids has confessed.
47:36Confessed?
47:38It's little Beryl, madam.
47:44Beryl, how
47:46could you?
47:48I was tempted,
47:50ma'am. I only done it
47:52because we were so poor, ma'am.
47:54I only took her on this
47:56morning out of kindness, really.
47:58She's not very bright.
48:00Right, my girl, it's down to the station for you.
48:02Oh, no, sir. Please, sir.
48:04Oh, inspector, do you have to?
48:06Well, it's up to you, madam, to bring charges.
48:08Oh, I couldn't, inspector. I should have it
48:10on my conscience always.
48:12You see, she's
48:14in trouble.
48:16Disgraceful.
48:21Ooh.
48:36Well, gentlemen,
48:38once more,
48:40for the 17th year in succession
48:42there is no outright winner,
48:44and once again for the fourth year
48:46the prize is shared by
48:48Mr. Freddie Wittgen and Mr. Bertie Worcester!
48:52Thank you!
49:03Ah, Jeeves!
49:04I trust you were successful, sir?
49:06Another split decision, I'm afraid.
49:08Mr. Wittgen threw a beautiful dart.
49:10Well done, Worcester.
49:11Got to fly, catching the boat to New York.
49:13Oh?
49:15I found out that's where Daphne lives.
49:18Oh, right.
49:20Well, good luck still.
49:25You know, Jeeves, I can't help thinking somewhere at the back of my mind
49:28there must be a better method of deciding the championship
49:30than playing the best of six games.
49:32It does seem likely, sir.
49:35Perhaps the best of eight would do it.
49:37Possibly, sir.
49:38Ten.
49:39Exhaustion might get resolved, nothing else.
49:42I'm sure the sports committee will find a way, sir.
49:45Given time.