Jeeves And Wooster S02 E04 - Chuffy (or, Jeeves in the Country)
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Short filmTranscript
00:00You
00:31You know the trouble with the trombone, Jeeves?
00:33Sir?
00:34After half an hour or so, one's lips get incredibly numb.
00:37Perhaps it would be wiser not to persist with the instrument, sir.
00:40Nonsense, Jeeves.
00:42I'm only concerned with your health, sir.
00:45The numbness of which you speak may be a symptom of some deeper malady
00:49brought on by overexertion of the labial and maxillary muscles.
00:52My Uncle Ernest was...
00:54Oh, never mind your Uncle Ernest, Jeeves.
00:56Generations of Worcesters have soldiered on with much worse than numb lips.
00:59I'm sure that is so, sir.
01:08Mr Manglehoffer, sir.
01:10Good morning, Mr Wooster.
01:12Ah, good morning, Mr Manglehoffer.
01:14Not behind with the rent, are we?
01:16No, Mr Wooster, but I'm sorry to say
01:18that I've had several complaints from other tenants.
01:22Complaints? What about?
01:23That, Mr Wooster.
01:25This?
01:26Colonel Bastard in 5B
01:28keeps asking me if this is what he fought for.
01:31And Sir Everard and Lady Blenheim
01:33say they are driven to destruction by the infernal din.
01:37Did you say infernal din?
01:40I did.
01:41Well, let me tell you, Mr Manglehoffer,
01:43that the man that hath no music in himself
01:45is fit for...
01:47Hang on a minute.
01:52Jeeves, what was it Shakespeare said
01:54about the man that hath no music in himself was fit for?
01:57Treasons, stratagems and spoils, sir.
02:02Treasons, stratagems and spoils.
02:04What?
02:05That's what he's fit for,
02:06the man that hath no music in himself.
02:08Mr Wooster, I will speak plainly.
02:12Either you cease playing that instrument
02:15or you must leave.
02:19Jeeves, unpleasantness has reared its ugly head
02:22in the coastal district.
02:23Indeed, sir.
02:24Also a notable lack of give and take
02:26and a complete absence of the neighbourly spirit.
02:28Complaints, Jeeves, have been lodged about my trombone.
02:30Good heavens, sir.
02:31The ultimatum is either I chuck playing it or leave.
02:34Very well, then.
02:35We shall be well rid of these bastards and Blenheimhassets.
02:38I shall leave them without a pang.
02:41You are proposing to move, sir?
02:43It is my intention to retire to the depths of the country for the summer.
02:46There, in some old world sequestered nook,
02:48I shall find a cottage and resume my studies.
02:53In that case, sir, I fear I must give my notice.
03:00Jeeves, did I hear you correctly?
03:03Yes, sir.
03:05You would actually consider leaving my entourage?
03:08Only with the greatest reluctance, sir.
03:10But if it is your intention to continue with that instrument
03:14within the narrow confines of a country cottage...
03:16Jeeves, you say that instrument in an unpleasant, soupy voice.
03:20Do I take it that you dislike the trombone?
03:22It has well been said, sir,
03:24that the trombone is not an instrument for a gentleman.
03:27I rue the day when you first saw Ben Bloom
03:30and his 16 Baltimore buddies at the Alhambra Theatre.
03:34I see.
03:35And you are resolved to leave if I continue to play it?
03:38Yes, sir.
03:41Well, then.
03:42Leave, dash it.
03:45Very good, sir.
03:51I know you own most of Devon, Chuffy.
03:53Not for long, I hope.
03:55Chuffnell Hall is up for sale.
03:57Good Lord, Chuffy.
03:59The old homestead, but why?
04:01I'm broke, Bertie.
04:02Completely and utterly bought and sold and done for.
04:05Came up third class this morning.
04:07Good Lord.
04:08But you still own the village.
04:10Yes. Cost me a fortune.
04:12Well, the reason I ask, Chuffy,
04:14is that I want to take a cottage in the country somewhere.
04:16Can you let me have one?
04:18I can give you your choice of half a dozen.
04:20Oh, that's wonderful, Chuffy.
04:21Well, we'll be able to see something of each other for a change.
04:24Too low for lunch most days.
04:26Yeah, thanks.
04:27What has Jeeves got to say about all this?
04:29Shouldn't have thought he wanted to leave London.
04:31Jeeves has nothing to say on this or any other subject.
04:34We have parted brass rags.
04:36What?
04:37From now on, Jeeves will take the high road
04:39and I will take the other one.
04:40He had the immortal rhyme to tell me
04:42that if I didn't give up my trombone, he would resign.
04:44Well, I accepted his portfolio.
04:46Well, well, well.
04:47You can push a Worcester just so far, Chuffy.
04:49Very good Jeeves, I said to him.
04:51I shall watch your future career with considerable interest.
04:53And that was that.
04:54Well, well, well.
04:56Good Lord, look at the time.
04:58Got to see my bank manager at four o'clock.
05:00Um, any objection to my looking in on Jeeves on the way?
05:05Just to say goodbye.
05:06No.
05:07Then whatever. Just follow the green line.
05:12It's a bad time of year for Jeeves.
05:15It's a bad time of year for valets, Mr. Worcester.
05:18Really?
05:19Ah, Duxbury.
05:22Oh, no.
05:24Must be musical, you said.
05:26Duxbury left Lord Belstead's employer
05:29when his lordship got a kazoo from a Christmas cracker.
05:33The tootling was unbearable, he said.
05:36Perhaps something has come in this morning.
05:40Yes, Mr. Henberry.
05:41Mr. Worcester requires a new valet, Miss Daly.
05:44Has anything recently come in?
05:46No, Mr. Henberry, I'm sorry.
05:51There is Mr. Brinkley, of course.
05:57Brinkley, of course.
06:00Mr. Worcester, you're in luck.
06:03Oh, God.
06:05I'm Brinkley, the new valet.
06:09Mr. Worcester likes to be wakened at ten with tea.
06:13I'm sure he does.
06:15Darjeeling in the morning.
06:17Earl Grey, should he be at home in the afternoon.
06:20Oh, dear, oh, dear.
06:23Evening wear, formal.
06:26Evening wear, informal.
06:28Tweed jacket.
06:30Enough clothes, hasn't he?
06:32Very nearly.
06:33And Mr. Worcester is most particular
06:35that they be kept pressed, clean and mended at all times.
06:39I'm not a machine, you know.
06:41Nobody realises that.
06:53I was just about to depart, Mr. Worcester.
06:57I was just about to depart, Mr. Worcester.
07:00Oh, ah, right.
07:02Your new man is here, sir.
07:04I have been explaining his duties to him.
07:06Excellent, good.
07:07Um, all right, is he, Jeeves?
07:09I think you may be surprised, sir.
07:11Mr. Brinkley.
07:14Well, this is a sad day, Jeeves.
07:17Indeed it is, sir.
07:19We shall meet at Philippi, I dare say.
07:21No doubt, sir.
07:24Ah, here is your new man, sir.
07:27Watto, Brinkley.
07:29So, do you think we're going to get along together?
07:31I don't know yet.
07:33Well, I will say goodbye now, sir.
07:35Right, well, goodbye, Jeeves.
07:39So, Jeeves has shown you everything, has he?
07:41I told him. I'm not a machine, you know.
07:43Machine?
07:45Uh, well, no, I didn't imagine...
07:49Well, anyway, we shall be going down to Devon
07:51for a couple of weeks this afternoon, Brinkley.
07:53I hope that meets with your approval.
07:55I don't have any say, do I?
07:57Yes, yes, yes, I see what you mean.
07:59Well, let's get packed and high as thither, shall we?
08:21Yes, sir.
09:22Who are you?
09:24Seabury Pungleton.
09:26My uncle says you're to come to lunch.
09:28And who is your uncle?
09:30Uncle Chuffy.
09:32Oh, Chuffy. Well, well.
09:34Shall we be lunching alone?
09:36No, there's mother and me and some American people.
09:38Oh, well, perhaps I'd better go and put on a suit.
09:40No.
09:42What, do you think I look all right?
09:44No, I think you're a little rotten, but there isn't time.
09:52Can you give me five shillings?
09:54What do you mean, five shillings?
09:56I mean five shillings.
10:00Yes, but what I want to know is how we've got on to the subject.
10:03I mean, we were having a nice, quiet drive,
10:05and you suddenly go and introduce this five shillings motif.
10:08I want five shillings.
10:10For protection.
10:12What?
10:14Don't get five shillings out of me.
10:16What?
10:18Don't get five shillings out of me.
10:35Hello, Bertie.
10:37Hello, Chuffy.
10:40I think your nephew may have gone off his rocker, Chuffy.
10:42He's been trying to touch me for five bob
10:44and babbling on about protection.
10:46He's been watching gangster films.
10:48Goes around collecting protection money from everyone.
10:50I don't know what the use of today is coming to, Chuffy.
10:52Ah, well, here's his mother.
10:54My sister, Myrtle Pongleton.
10:56Myrtle, this is Bertie Worcester.
10:58Seabury's been trying to con five bob out of him.
11:00Oh, he means well, Mr Worcester.
11:02He only takes from each according to his means.
11:04Oh, yes, yes.
11:06He only takes from each according to his means.
11:13Chuffy's found an American
11:15he thinks he can sell the hall to.
11:17He's also terribly in love
11:19with the American's beautiful daughter.
11:21Oh, never mind about that.
11:23All I've got to do is get his signature on the dotted line.
11:25And that's what this lunch is for.
11:27Soften him up.
11:29He wants to turn it into a hotel.
11:31It'll take millions, won't it?
11:33Well, that's what Elf-Taker's got.
11:35Stoker?
11:37No, no, no.
11:45What a dump!
11:47What's the matter with that Dwight?
11:49Hello, Mr Stoker.
11:51Dwight.
11:53Miss Stoker.
11:55You know my sister, Mrs Pongleton.
11:57And this is my friend Bertie Worcester.
12:01Worcester?
12:03Oh, well.
12:05Old Colonel Worcester in person.
12:07Well, you know.
12:09Well, sir, this has certainly made my day,
12:11you little blob of sunshine.
12:13Isn't he looking lovely, Father?
12:15Come away from that man, Pauline.
12:17That man is bad news.
12:19Let's all go into the house, shall we?
12:21Come along, Dwight.
12:23I want you to meet Steve.
12:25You're going to be such pearls.
12:27This way, Mr Stoker.
12:29Steve, where are you going?
12:31I didn't know you knew these people, Bertie.
12:33Yes, I met them in New York, just casually.
12:35I thought Pauline's manner was rather warm.
12:37Really?
12:39Well, that's the American way, you know.
12:41She behaved as if you were great friends.
12:43No, no, no, no.
12:45She goes on like that with everyone.
12:47Big-hearted, you see.
12:49Well, she does have a delightful,
12:51generous, spontaneous,
12:53impulsive sort of nature, doesn't she?
12:55Absolutely, yes.
12:57And beautiful, too.
12:59Is she? Is she really?
13:01Well, I hadn't noticed, Chuffy.
13:03Do you know, I think it might be best
13:05if I didn't join the throng at the luncheon table.
13:07I've got a bit of a headache.
13:09Are you sure?
13:11Well, I'd better go in.
13:13Right.
13:19You must have been surprised
13:21to see us, Bertie.
13:23Oh, yes, yes.
13:25More surprised than pleased, eh?
13:27No, not at all, no.
13:29Well, it's obviously tickle-pink to see you, old thing,
13:31but I can't deny that when it comes to seeing your father...
13:33He's convinced
13:35I'm still pining for you, you know.
13:37You don't mean that.
13:39He thinks he's part of the young lovers
13:41and has got to exercise ceaseless vigilance
13:43to keep them from getting together again.
13:45Little knowing you never had a happier moment
13:47in your life than when you got my letter.
13:49No, dash it, really.
13:51Toilet.
13:53There's just about 200 acres,
13:55if you don't include the village.
13:57Enough for a golf course, tennis courts,
13:59swimming pool.
14:01Oh, yes.
14:09I've got three like this at home.
14:11Give me five shillings.
14:13Why should I give you
14:15five stupid shillings?
14:17Protection.
14:19Mamaduke.
14:21Mamaduke? I don't think I know him.
14:23Lord Chuffnell, idiot.
14:25Mamaduke.
14:27It's a beautiful name.
14:29Hello, hello, hello, hello.
14:31What do you mean?
14:33Well, no one would say that Mamaduke
14:35was a beautiful name wantonly and without good reason.
14:37All right.
14:39Less of the Sherlock stuff.
14:41I'm not trying to hide anything.
14:43You love this, um...
14:45Excuse me, this Mamaduke?
14:47You're so dippy about him, Bertie.
14:49Don't you just worship the way his hair
14:51sort of fluffs up at the back?
14:53My dear girl, I have better things to do
14:55than go about staring at the back of Chuffy's head.
14:57The front's bad enough.
14:59However, be prepared for tidings of great joy.
15:01I'm a pretty close observer.
15:03And a certain bulbous look in the old boy's eyes
15:05when a recent conversation happened
15:07to turn in your direction convinces me
15:09that he is deeply dippy about you, too.
15:11I know that, you chump.
15:13Do you think a girl can't tell?
15:15I know he's deeply dippy about me,
15:17but not a yip from him.
15:19I sometimes feel that he was a king in Babylon
15:21when I was a Christian slave.
15:23Really?
15:25Well, you know best, of course.
15:27Great doubtful I'd have said it myself.
15:29You're a friend of his.
15:31You could give him a hint.
15:33Tell him there's no need for cold feet.
15:35It is not cold feet.
15:37It's a matter of delicacy.
15:39We men have our code in these matters.
15:41We feel that it ill-beseems us to make a beeline
15:43What nonsense!
15:45You asked me to marry you after you'd known me two weeks.
15:47But there you were dealing with one of the wild Worcesters.
15:49Yes, it reminded me of a time when...
15:51Excuse me, miss.
15:53Yes, Jeeves, what is it?
15:55Jeeves!
15:57You've come back!
15:59Yes, well, Jeeves,
16:01you acted rashly,
16:03but I shan't hold it against you.
16:05The new man Brinkley is not entirely satisfactory.
16:07Beg pardon, sir.
16:09I came to tell you that luncheon will shortly be served
16:11and to say that Mr. Stoker
16:13was inquiring about Miss Stoker's whereabouts.
16:15Oh, Lord!
16:17Yes, but...
16:19I'm here in the capacity of Lord Chuffnell's
16:21personal gentleman, sir.
16:23You...
16:25You mean...
16:27You're working for Chuffy?
16:29Yes, sir. His lordship engaged me
16:31after you had informed him of my availability.
16:33Good Lord, Jeeves!
16:35Quick off the mark!
16:37His lordship was kind enough to say
16:39that a good man is hard to find, so...
16:41That's true, God knows.
16:43Look, I'd better push along before my father
16:45starts getting suspicious.
16:47Don't forget Bertie, will you?
16:49A little hint in a certain person's ear?
16:51The matter shall receive my promptest attention.
16:55I wonder where that girl got to.
16:59You don't suppose she's with that Wooster, do you?
17:01Oh, Bertie? No, no, I shouldn't think so.
17:03Oh, he's gone. Asked me to apologize.
17:05Um...
17:07She knew him in New York, did she?
17:09Knew him? Ha! Pauline only went
17:11and got herself engaged to him.
17:13And if I ever see that degenerate
17:15hanging around her again,
17:17I will not be responsible for my actions!
17:25You'll agree with me that something must be done
17:27about the fifth baron, I take it?
17:29I beg your pardon, sir?
17:31Oh, come, come, Jeeves.
17:33What is it about her?
17:35I am, of course, aware that his lordship
17:37is experiencing a sentiment deeper and warmer
17:39than that of ordinary friendship for the young lady, sir.
17:41Yes, and she has specifically confessed herself
17:43to being dippy about him.
17:45But she's upset, the poor fish.
17:47She detects the love light in his eyes.
17:49She's all for it.
17:51What worries her is he doesn't do anything about it.
17:53A not uncommon dilemma, sir?
17:55What's it all about, Jeeves?
17:57I mean, he loves her, she loves him.
17:59So what's the snag?
18:01He confesses that being of straightened means himself.
18:03He has not the right to propose to a young lady
18:05as wealthy as Miss Stoker.
18:07Oh, I see.
18:09So unless old man Stoker buys the hall,
18:11poor old Chuffy will continue to be
18:13kid Lazarus, the man without a bean.
18:15And yet why, Jeeves?
18:17I mean, plenty of bus blokes have married oofy girls before now.
18:19His lordship is a gentleman
18:21who feels strongly on this particular point, sir.
18:23Well, there's only one thing for it, Jeeves.
18:25Chuffy must be shoved over the brink.
18:27I do not quite follow you, sir.
18:29What he needs is a jolt.
18:31Have he thought that there was a grave danger
18:33of some other blokes scooping her up?
18:35Well, wouldn't that make him forget those dashed silly ideas of his
18:37and charge ahead, breathing fire through the nostrils?
18:39Jealousy is undoubtedly
18:41a powerful motivating energy, sir.
18:43Do you know what I'm going to do, Jeeves?
18:45No, sir.
18:47I'm going to kiss Miss Stoker
18:49and take care that Chuffy sees me do it.
18:51Really, sir, I could not...
18:53Please, Jeeves, I have the whole thing taped out.
18:55After lunch, I shall draw Miss Stoker aside
18:57into the seat in the shrubbery.
18:59You will then arrange for Chuffy to follow her.
19:01Waiting until I see the whites of his eyes,
19:03I shall then fold her in a close embrace.
19:05If that doesn't work, nothing will.
19:07I consider that you would be taking
19:09a decided risk, sir.
19:11His lordship is in an extremely and highly emotional state.
19:13No, Jeeves, I desire no further discussion.
19:15At 2.30, inform Miss Stoker
19:17that I would like a word with her
19:19at the stone bench in the shrubbery.
19:21At 2.31, inform Lord Chuffnell
19:23that she would like a word with him.
19:25The rest you can leave to me.
19:29Very good, sir.
19:35And the propeller's going to take about a week to repair.
19:37So it looks like we're going to be
19:39stuck down in a little harbor down there.
19:41What a damn nuisance for you.
19:43Tell you what we'll do.
19:45Why don't you folks come on out to the Gypsy Queen
19:47and I'll show you around?
19:49Your yacht? That would be very nice.
19:51I bet you've never been on a yacht before, even.
19:53I have. I've been on trillions of yachts.
19:55Hey, Dwight,
19:57is that a way to behave?
20:05Give me five shillings!
20:07No, I won't give you five stupid shillings!
20:09Don't run, Seabury dear.
20:11You might hurt yourself.
20:23You said you wanted to talk to me.
20:25Ah, well, quite.
20:27Let's sit on the bench, I'll take.
20:29Right.
20:35That fellow Jeeves,
20:37does he come with the house?
20:39I sure would like a fellow like that to look after me.
20:41Well, you haven't agreed about the house yet.
20:43Oh, sure we have. You got yourself a deal.
20:45You're going to buy it?
20:47Absolutely.
20:49Ha ha!
20:53Where's Pauline?
20:55I don't know.
20:57You sure that Wooster fellow has left?
20:59Absolutely.
21:01Pardon me, your Lordship,
21:03but Miss Stoker was asking for you.
21:05She's in the shrubbery.
21:07It was Lord Chuffnell's
21:09he particularly asked for us.
21:11Oh, nonsense. Of course she'll want to see her old daddy.
21:14Um,
21:16dashed funny thing, love.
21:18Did you bring me all the way out here
21:20to tell me that love's a dashed funny thing?
21:22Uh, well, no.
21:24Um...
21:26What I want to know is why did that child
21:28demand ten shillings from me?
21:30Oh, I wouldn't worry about that.
21:32Right.
21:34This is it.
21:38What are you doing?
21:40Bertie!
21:42Wooster!
21:44Ah!
21:46What in Hades do you think you're doing?
21:48Well...
21:50I think he's got a touch of the sun, Daddy.
21:52He'll have a touch of my boot if he starts all this again.
21:54Uh, look, I can explain.
21:56Pauline, go back to the house.
21:58Uh, you come too, Daddy.
22:00Let me tell you, Wooster,
22:02one more stunt like this
22:04and you'll find yourself in need of serious repair.
22:06No, look, obviously, I wouldn't dream of that.
22:08Enough, I say!
22:10Quiet!
22:12Right.
22:24So, all in all, Brinkley,
22:26not the most successful of Bertram's stratagems.
22:28How do you mean?
22:30Well, it, uh, it didn't work.
22:32Here he is now, anyway.
22:34Stoker?
22:36No, your so-called Lord Chuffnell.
22:38Ah!
22:42Ah, Chuffy, enter, old sport.
22:44Hello, Bertie.
22:46Oh.
22:48Something amiss, Chuffy?
22:52Why didn't you tell me you'd been engaged
22:54to Pauline Stoker?
22:56What?
22:58Oh, now, look here, Chuffy.
23:00The whole thing didn't last more than 48 hours
23:02from kick-off to final whistle.
23:04And since then, absolutely nothing.
23:06Don't you swear that, and there's nothing between you now?
23:08Nothing whatever.
23:10So charge in, old man.
23:12The girl's absolutely potty about you.
23:14Who told you that?
23:16Well, she did.
23:18She really does love me.
23:20Passionately, I gather.
23:22Oh, well.
23:24Well, I'm, uh, sorry if I, uh,
23:26seemed a bit rattled for a moment.
23:28You see, when a chap's just about to get engaged
23:30to a gal, it's, uh, it's rather a jar
23:32to find she was engaged to someone else
23:34before.
23:36So you've proposed to her, then?
23:38Not yet, but I'm going to.
23:40And what about the off situation?
23:42The what?
23:44The off, the dibs, the do-re-mi, the happy cabbage,
23:46the oil of palm.
23:48Yes, yes, I do speak English.
23:50It's all right.
23:52Stoker's agreed to buy the hall.
23:54Really?
23:56Oh, well, Chuffy, that is good news.
24:05I'm going to pop the question tomorrow.
24:07We've been invited out to the yacht.
24:09Wonderful. Well, Chuffy, I hope you'll be very, very happy.
24:11I can honestly say that Pauline
24:13is one of the nicest girls I've ever been engaged to.
24:15I wish you'd stop harping on about that engagement.
24:17I'll never lose sight of the fact, Chuffy,
24:19that the betrothal only lasted two days,
24:21during both of which I was in bed with a nasty cold.
24:23She must have had a wonderful time
24:25being engaged to you.
24:27What on earth made her accept you, I wonder?
24:29I don't know. I once consulted a knowledgeable pal,
24:31and his theory was that the sight of me
24:33hanging around like a loony sheep
24:35awoke the maternal instinct in woman.
24:37There may be something in this.
24:44I'd like to propose a toast.
24:46Ladies and gentlemen,
24:48to the Chuffnell Hall Hotel.
24:50Chuffnell Hall Hotel.
24:52This is just my room. There's loads more.
24:54Mama gave me a horse for Christmas.
24:56We had a dance once,
24:58in the main saloon. It's so big.
25:00Thousands of people dancing.
25:02Give me five shillings.
25:05Ladies, reserve.
25:10Stop it! Get out!
25:12Stop it!
25:14Come on!
25:16Hey!
25:18Give you a kissy.
25:20Give you a kissy? All right, then.
25:22Oh, that was right on the end of my nose.
25:27You bent over.
25:30Oh, no, no, no.
25:32Bye-bye.
25:36Boo!
25:40Ah, boody, boody, boody.
25:42Boo!
25:52I say, Jeeves,
25:54good afternoon to you.
25:56Is something amiss?
25:58The Chuffnells look like a French army
26:00who just got to Moscow and discovered its early closing day.
26:03The simile is an apt one, sir.
26:06Go straight to your room and stay there,
26:08you horrible little tyrant!
26:10But he was only...
26:18Upon witnessing the position of affairs,
26:20Mrs Pongleton uttered a sharp cry
26:22and struck Master Dwight with considerable force
26:24on the right ear, sir.
26:26On which, of course?
26:28Precisely, sir. Mr Stoker, espousing the cause of his son,
26:30aimed a powerful kick at Master Seabury.
26:32Oh, Jeeves, tell me you got him.
26:34Yes, sir.
26:36Oh, Jeeves, what a prawn.
26:38Thank you. No, sir.
26:40A heated altercation then broke out
26:42between Mrs Pongleton and Mr Stoker.
26:44She called on Lord Chuffnell for support
26:46and he proceeded to take Mr Stoker to task for the assault.
26:49And then?
26:51High words ensued, sir.
26:53The upshot being that Mr Stoker,
26:55with considerable warmth,
26:57informed Lord Chuffnell that if he supposed that he,
26:59Mr Stoker, intended to purchase Chuffnell Hall
27:01after what had occurred,
27:03then he, Lord Chuffnell, was in grave error.
27:05Upon this...
27:07Get it over, Jeeves. I can see what's coming.
27:09Yes, sir. I agree with you that the whole affair
27:11does have something of the dark inevitability
27:13of Greek tragedy.
27:15His lordship, I regret to say,
27:17became somewhat unguarded in his speech.
27:19He ticked Stoker off?
27:21With considerable vigour, sir,
27:23stating in an extremely candid manner
27:25his opinion of the latter's character,
27:27commercial probity,
27:29and even appearance.
27:31Well, that must have put the lid on it.
27:33It did create a coolness, sir.
27:39Before all this happened, had Chuffy said anything to Stoker
27:41about wanting to marry Miss Stoker?
27:43No, sir.
27:45Well, I don't see how he can do it now.
27:47They'll have to meet by stealth.
27:49Even that will prove a little difficult, I fear, sir.
27:51He announced that he was not permitting Miss Pauline
27:53to go ashore during the remainder of their
27:55enforced stay in the harbour.
27:57I thought you said he didn't know anything about the engagement.
27:59Mr. Stoker's motive in immuring Miss Stoker
28:01on the vessel, sir,
28:03is not to prevent her from encountering his lordship.
28:05His exact words were,
28:07she's not going to go getting kissed
28:09by that imbecile friend of hers again.
28:11Meaning me?
28:13It seems likely, sir.
28:15He said all this to Chuffy, you say?
28:17Yes, sir.
28:19Yes, sir.
28:21Lord Chuffnell appeared somewhat put out by the information.
28:23What did he say?
28:25He mentioned something about scooping out your insides, sir.
28:31What do you advise, Jeeves?
28:33I can only suggest, sir, that should his lordship
28:35tax you with the matter, you try to persuade him
28:37that the spirit in which you embraced Miss Stoker
28:39was purely a brotherly one.
28:41Brotherly?
28:43Brotherly, yes.
28:49Here, where is he?
28:51Who? Your master.
28:53Master? I'm going to kick him from here
28:55to Newton Ferries and back again.
28:57Do what you like. I haven't seen him.
29:05Ah, good afternoon, my lord.
29:07You haven't seen a rather...
29:09Ah, there he is.
29:13Ah, Chuffy, old man.
29:15Scoffing in here, eh?
29:17No, far from it.
29:19Jeeves told me all. Too bad, too bad.
29:21I little thought when I bestowed
29:23a brotherly kiss on Pauline Stoker
29:25by way of congratulating her on your engagement...
29:27We weren't engaged then.
29:29No, no, quite. I'm aware of that, Chuffy.
29:31Your putative engagement, I should have said.
29:33I little thought what trouble would come
29:35bobbing along so soon afterwards.
29:37What do you mean, brotherly?
29:39Oh, brotherly.
29:41Well, Stoker didn't think it was brotherly.
29:43No, well, we all know what sort of a mind
29:45Stoker's got, don't we?
29:47Had you been there, you'd have seen exactly
29:49how brotherly it was and given it the
29:51Truffnall seal of approval, I'm sure.
29:53Well, all right.
29:55But in future, a little less
29:57of this fraternal stuff.
29:59Just so.
30:01I don't want to feel when I'm married
30:03that at any moment I might come into the room
30:05and find a brother and sister act in progress.
30:07You still intend to marry this Pauline, then?
30:09Well, of course I intend to marry her.
30:11But what about the Truffnall scruples?
30:13I mean, if old Stoker doesn't buy the hall,
30:15aren't you rather by way of being back
30:17in the position you were before?
30:19Not able to marry the ill-figured
30:21because you haven't got the Mazuma?
30:23No, that's all changed. I was a fool.
30:25What does money matter?
30:27I mean, love's love.
30:29Well, you never spoke a truer word, old sport.
30:31If I were you, I'd write her a letter
30:33embodying those views,
30:35just so she knows what the SP is.
30:37Bertie, I will. And what's more,
30:39jeeves, she'll take it to her.
30:41There won't be any chance of old Stoker intercepting it.
30:43How will jeeves get it to her?
30:45Stoker wants to employ jeeves.
30:47Jeeves shall go to him.
30:49Oh, I see.
30:51You mean, operating under the Stoker banner,
30:53jeeves will be free to come and go as he pleases.
30:55Exactly.
30:57Well, this certainly has put the butter on the spinach.
30:59I shall go and tell jeeves at once.
31:01I suppose she really does love me.
31:03Oh, dash it, old chap, didn't she say so?
31:05It just seems so dashed odd
31:07her letting you kiss her.
31:09Yes, she naturally divined
31:11that the embrace was purely brotherly.
31:13Yes, yes, brotherly.
31:15Yes, of course.
31:17Yes.
31:39Ah, there you are, jeeves.
31:41You ready for the off?
31:43I've nearly finished the letter.
31:45I've stuck more or less to what you suggested.
31:47More or less, sir?
31:49Well, some of it was a bit too,
31:51no, I don't know,
31:53soppy.
31:55You'll pardon me for saying so, sir,
31:57but soppiness is at the very heart
31:59of the successful love letter.
32:01Without a sufficient degree of soppiness,
32:03there is a danger of the communication
32:05being laid aside by the recipient
32:07to be read at some future date
32:09together with the gas bill, sir.
32:11Well, the only bit I left out
32:13was that bit about her name
32:15being twined round my heart
32:17like roses round a cottage door.
32:19Oh, pity, sir.
32:21An old favourite, perhaps,
32:23but it still has the capacity to move
32:25given the appropriate much of events.
32:27Well, I just couldn't bring myself to it, jeeves.
32:29Very good, sir.
32:31And, um,
32:33I hope you'll be very happy
32:35in your new employment.
32:37Thank you.
32:55What time do you want dinner, then?
32:57Dinner?
32:59Oh, about 8.30, I should think.
33:01Thank you, Brickley.
33:03Oh, and light the lamp for me, will you?
33:05What? That thing?
33:07Well, I'm supposed to.
33:15I'm used to the electric, you know.
33:21Brickley, there's a curious smell.
33:23Smell?
33:27Ah, show me pie.
33:33Uh, Brickley, look,
33:35there's been a slight change of plan.
33:37I've just remembered that my uncle's not very well.
33:39What uncle?
33:41Well, um,
33:43Reginald, if you must know.
33:45Um, so I think I'll just, uh...
33:47What about your pie?
33:49Oh, I haven't got time for that.
33:51You help yourself.
33:53I'm not eating that.
34:03Ahoy there,
34:05gypsy queen.
34:07Who's there?
34:09It's Jeeves, sir. Permission to come aboard?
34:11Oh, come aboard, Jeeves.
34:17So, tired of these English aristocrats,
34:19eh, Jeeves?
34:21I wouldn't put it quite like that, sir.
34:23Galley.
34:25You got class, Jeeves, you know that?
34:27Good of you to say so, sir.
34:29Who is it, Daddy?
34:31Hello, Jeeves.
34:33Good evening, Miss.
34:45Both breaths are?
34:47And the legs.
34:53Jeeves.
34:57Oh, it's a wonderful letter, Jeeves.
34:59I'm glad you enjoyed it, Miss.
35:01I didn't know Marmaduke had it in him.
35:03But what am I going to do, Jeeves?
35:05Daddy won't let me go ashore.
35:07I might make a suggestion, Miss.
35:29Ah!
35:43What are you doing here?
35:45Hello, Bertie.
35:47You're in my heliotrope pajamas.
35:49I know.
35:51Well, they suit you, I must say.
35:53Thank you.
35:55What on earth is this?
35:57You swam ashore from the yacht?
35:59Yes.
36:01Why?
36:03You know, Bertie, you ought to be in some sort of home.
36:05I am, my own.
36:07The point I would like to thresh out is,
36:09what on earth are you doing here?
36:11What on earth did you want to kiss me like that for
36:13in front of Father?
36:15I thought he was Chuffy.
36:17You thought my father was Marmaduke?
36:19The idea was to let Chuffy observe you in my embrace
36:21and thereby get him keyed up to propose to you.
36:23You know, there's a sort of
36:25thing about Marmaduke I could easily marry you.
36:27No, no, no, no.
36:29Don't even dream of it.
36:31No, it's all right. I'm going to marry Marmaduke.
36:33Ah, well, now we come right back to it.
36:35You swam ashore from the yacht. Why?
36:37You break a window and dump yourself in my little home.
36:39Why?
36:41Because I wanted somewhere to lie low
36:43till I could get clothes, of course.
36:45I can't go to the hall in a swimsuit.
36:47You came ashore to get to Chuffy?
36:49Your man Jeeves said you'd be delighted to help.
36:51Oh, he did, did he?
36:53You're annoyed.
36:55Well, I am annoyed.
36:57A reputable boulevardier like myself,
36:59whose license has never been so much as endorsed,
37:01can scarcely be blamed for looking askance
37:03at girls in heliotrope pajamas in his bed.
37:05You're making a fuss about nothing.
37:07All I wanted to...
37:09What was that?
37:11It's Chuffy.
37:13It's father.
37:15Well, we'll hide.
37:17No, you best go downstairs. I'll see in the light.
37:19See in the light?
37:23If it's my father, be careful.
37:25What do you mean, be careful?
37:27No, it's all right.
37:29He probably won't have a gun.
37:31Come on!
37:37Hello? Yes?
37:39It's Sergeant Wools, sir.
37:45Frankly sorry to keep you so long.
37:47I was just thinking of this and that.
37:49Sort of reverie, if you know what I mean.
37:51Are you aware, sir, there's a window broke?
37:53Constable Dobson here spotted it
37:55and thought it best wake me up
37:57to investigate.
37:59Oh, the broken window. Yes, yes, I know about that.
38:01The problem is, sir, the danger of marauders getting through.
38:05I thought I did see a marauder getting through, Uncle Ted.
38:07What? You young muttonhead,
38:09why didn't you tell me before?
38:11I think we'd best search the house, sir.
38:13Oh, no, no, no, Sergeant.
38:15Quite out of the question.
38:17Appease yourself, sir.
38:19You're shackling the police in their duty.
38:21That's what you're doing, shackling us.
38:23The marauders are probably lurking, sir.
38:25I give you my word, Sergeant, there are no marauders.
38:27I'm sorry. Come, Dennis.
38:29It's been obdurate.
38:43Who was it? The constabulary.
38:45Apparently they saw you getting in.
38:47Oh, what a lot of trouble I'm giving you, Bertie.
38:49No, no, only too pleased.
38:51Well, I'd better be pushing along, then.
38:53I'm going to sleep in the potting shed.
38:55Oh, Bertie, isn't there a sofa downstairs?
38:57There is. Noah's. He brought it ashore on Mount Ararat.
38:59No, I'll be better off in the potting shed.
39:01Don't worry, old thing, we Worcesters can rough it
39:03when it comes to giving two fond hearts a leg up.
39:17Jeeves, Miss Pauline's gone.
39:19Gone, sir?
39:21She's not in her room. She's not anywhere.
39:23Good heavens, sir.
39:25You don't think that she could have gone ashore
39:27to see that Mr. Worcester, sir?
39:29Worcester. Of course.
39:31I knew it.
39:33Perhaps we should go ashore to search for her, sir.
39:35Good idea, Jeeves. Come on.
39:47I thought he was talking strange,
39:49my lord.
39:51He said he'd been in a reverie
39:53and Constable Dobson
39:55sees him going into the potting shed.
40:07Noah was a friend of yours, my lord.
40:09We thought we'd best let you know.
40:11Noah was a friend of yours, my lord.
40:13We thought we'd best let you know.
40:19What? What? What?
40:21It's all right, Bertie. It's me.
40:23Sergeant Voules is worried about you. Walk me along and have a look.
40:25Well, Sergeant Voules is an ass.
40:27Begging your pardon, sir.
40:29I thought he was acting peculiar.
40:31You must admit it is a bit peculiar, Bertie.
40:33Sleeping out here, I mean.
40:35Well, there was a spider in my bedroom.
40:37A spider, eh?
40:39Ah. Pink?
40:41Well, pinkish.
40:43With stripes.
40:45It's all right, Sergeant. Nothing to worry about.
40:47He's simply as tight as an owl. We'd better get him to bed.
40:49No, no, no, no, no.
40:51It's all right, Bertie. We understand.
40:53Look, Sergeant Voules and I
40:55will come up with you and kill
40:57the nasty old spider.
41:09Come on.
41:15Come on.
41:23What happened?
41:25You must have tripped and fallen, sir.
41:27No, no, no, Chuffy.
41:29Don't open that door.
41:31I know, Bertie, I know.
41:33You'll soon be in beddy-byes now.
41:35No, no, no.
41:37Ah!
41:41Oh, right.
41:43Right, sir. Into beddy-byes.
41:45Oh, yes.
41:59Hmm?
42:07Oh!
42:15There, sir.
42:17That's killed the beastly spider.
42:23I'm arresting you, my lad,
42:25on suspicion of being a marauder.
42:27My lad?
42:29None of that now.
42:31I'm working! This is my arm!
42:33Oh! Oh!
42:35Oh!
42:45The room downstairs is on fire!
42:47Come home!
42:49Incoming, my lord!
42:51What, Sergeant?
42:53Dennis, if you're down here, fix the fire brigade!
42:59What in Hades is that?
43:01It appears to be
43:03a conflagration, sir.
43:05Holy Moses! Come on, Jeeves!
43:09What's going on?
43:11It was him, the marauder! He knocked the lamp over!
43:13Look!
43:15Help! Oh, somebody!
43:17That's my daughter! You swine!
43:19Help!
43:21Help!
43:23Oh, you devil!
43:27Holy battalion!
43:29I'm coming, darling!
43:31Hurry up!
43:51I blame you for this, Jeeves.
43:53With respect, sir, I merely intended
43:55Mr. Stoker to discover his daughter at your cottage
43:57so strongly does he disapprove of you
43:59that I expected him to look more kindly
44:01on Miss Stoker's putative engagement
44:03to Lord Chufnell.
44:05The fact that his lordship should also discover her here
44:07and in mortal peril
44:09was, as the Americans say,
44:11pure gravy.
44:15Well done, sir!
44:29Well done, sir!
44:59Well done, sir!
45:13Good morning, sir.
45:17Oh, Jeeves!
45:19Your tea, sir.
45:21Oh, thank you, Jeeves.
45:23What sort of a day is it?
45:25Warm, sir.
45:27A slight breeze from the southeast
45:29and some high cirrocumulus to the west.
45:31I've taken the liberty
45:33of preparing the car for the journey, sir.
45:35Will you drive, or shall I?
45:37Drive, Jeeves? Journey?
45:39To London, sir.
45:41Wait a minute.
45:43Are you back with me, Jeeves?
45:45If that's agreeable to you, sir, yes.
45:47Neither Mr. Stoker nor Lord Chufnell
45:49feel themselves quite able
45:51to measure up to the required standard.
45:57Oh.
46:01Well, well, well, well, well.
46:03London, eh?
46:05The drones for lunch, dinner at Quags.
46:07Indeed, sir.
46:09I imagine that you will not
46:11be requiring this, sir.
46:13Oh, Jeeves, what might have been.
46:15No, sir.
46:17No, you're quite right.
46:19Well, lead on, Jeeves.
46:21You can drive.