SYOK BM
  • 10 months ago
Membuka tirai Confession Bilik Gelap Musim Keempat ini ialah penyanyi terkenal Amir Masdi.

Menerusi episod ini, Amir, 28, atau nama sebenar Amir Syazwan Masdi membongkar kisah duka dilalui apabila pernah tidak mendapat bayaran selepas membuat persembahan. Malah, Amir juga pernah tidak mempunyai sebarang pendapatan sehingga terpaksa menyembunyikan perkara itu daripada pengetahuan ibu bapa. Ketika itu Amir mengambil keputusan untuk tidur di studio rakaman seolah-olah dia sedang sibuk bekerja. Pada hakikatnya, dia tidak mahu merisaukan keluarga.

Banyak lagi perkongsian suka, duka, tawa dan hiba yang diluahkan secara jujur dalam episod ini.
Transcript
00:00 You were a bit disappointed in that relationship, right?
00:02 Yes, that's right.
00:03 It ended up not as...
00:05 But it affected you too.
00:07 That's right.
00:07 I...
00:09 That's it. We can't expect
00:10 a beautiful relationship.
00:13 And I didn't expect it to be like that.
00:16 How long was it?
00:18 It was a...
00:21 Back then, it was a 10 years relationship.
00:23 Okay.
00:24 So, it didn't work out.
00:26 And after that...
00:27 It was 10 years.
00:28 Yes, that's right.
00:29 And after that, there was another one.
00:31 It was a...
00:33 2 and a half, 3 years.
00:35 It was a relationship.
00:36 So, it didn't work out as well.
00:38 And until now, it's just that.
00:41 So, it's a collection of...
00:44 You mean, Amir is a very...
00:47 difficult person to...
00:50 I mean, to put that relationship...
00:53 to the phase where if we play around,
00:55 we won't be able to have a serious relationship, Amir.
00:57 Yes, that's right.
00:59 People say it's easy to say.
01:00 Nowadays, people say...
01:01 "No need to declare."
01:02 So, Amir is someone who really wants to...
01:05 have a serious relationship and end it with something good.
01:09 People say.
01:09 That's right.
01:10 It's easy to say.
01:11 People say, "Marry."
01:12 That's right.
01:13 So, I just...
01:14 I date to marry.
01:16 That's it. I...
01:18 I just...
01:19 I want to get into that relationship.
01:20 Of course, our goal is...
01:22 Our goal is to build a mosque.
01:26 And live together forever.
01:29 When was the last time?
01:32 Last year?
01:33 Before the lockdown.
01:35 That was the last time?
01:36 Yes, that's right.
01:36 So, after that, are you afraid to fall in love again?
01:39 Or you don't meet the right person?
01:42 Do you want to be serious again?
01:43 At first, I felt like I was afraid to get into a relationship.
01:46 But then...
01:47 After that fear has been gone for a long time,
01:50 it's getting easier.
01:51 I feel like I don't want to...
01:53 force myself to look for it.
01:55 And I don't want to chase it too much.
01:58 This love...
01:59 I'm afraid I'll fall in love again.
02:01 With me, Sudirman Watahir.
02:09 This is Konfession Bilik Gelap.
02:11 Season 4.
02:12 For this episode, with me,
02:14 a rising singer.
02:15 His name is...
02:16 This is him.
02:18 Amir Masdi.
02:19 Peace be upon you, Abang.
02:20 How are you, Amir?
02:21 I'm fine, Alhamdulillah. How are you?
02:22 I'm fine, Alhamdulillah.
02:23 Amir, for...
02:26 for the beginning of this show,
02:27 with Konfession Bilik Gelap,
02:30 many people want to know,
02:31 after you became the champion of...
02:34 Academia Fantasia 2016, if I'm not mistaken.
02:37 Oh, it's been a long time.
02:37 It's been a long journey for you, right?
02:39 It's been a long time.
02:39 Did you get what you wanted...
02:42 as a champion until now, Amir?
02:45 Many people want to know.
02:46 Okay.
02:47 If...
02:48 If we talk about Academia Fantasia,
02:51 of course, everyone in there,
02:53 when they entered,
02:54 once you are in the ring,
02:56 you really want to win.
02:57 Of course, we won't aim for winning.
02:59 It's a lie if people say like...
03:01 "He just entered to try."
03:04 But deep down,
03:05 actually, we really want to win.
03:07 Like me, originally,
03:08 I didn't want to go to auditions.
03:11 Because I'm the type of person who...
03:12 doesn't have confidence.
03:14 And I don't dare.
03:16 It's hard for me to talk to people.
03:17 Even at school,
03:19 my teachers and friends
03:20 rarely listen to me.
03:22 What else do you want to sing?
03:24 So...
03:25 In fact, I've never sung in front of people
03:27 before Academia Fantasia.
03:28 What made me determined to go to auditions
03:33 was my mother.
03:34 Actually, my parents.
03:36 And especially my mother.
03:37 She said I could sing.
03:40 Because at home,
03:41 I played games.
03:42 I played games all day.
03:44 I can say...
03:46 8 to 10 hours playing games
03:48 while singing.
03:49 And they know you can sing?
03:51 I think they knew throughout
03:54 my growing up.
03:55 Okay.
03:56 And my father is the type of person
03:57 who likes karaoke.
03:59 He likes to sing karaoke at home.
04:01 So, just for fun,
04:02 he likes to sing.
04:03 And I was probably influenced by
04:05 those things since I was young.
04:07 It's just that I didn't dare to show my face.
04:09 So...
04:10 3 years after I went to SPM,
04:13 3 years later,
04:14 my mother asked me to go to auditions.
04:16 But I refused.
04:16 But in my third year,
04:18 at that time, I was like,
04:20 "Okay."
04:21 "Mama has asked me."
04:24 "She has asked me 3 times."
04:25 "So, I'll just go."
04:26 "I'll just go to auditions to make conditions."
04:28 "So that she'll be happy."
04:29 Okay.
04:29 "So that I can see how lucky I am."
04:31 I didn't expect anything at that time.
04:32 But then,
04:33 Alhamdulillah,
04:34 I got into the Fantasia Academy.
04:35 And when I got in,
04:36 I was like,
04:38 "Okay, I got in."
04:39 Maybe that's the reason
04:42 why I was placed in this position.
04:44 And I thought,
04:46 "Why not I just give it my all?"
04:48 "And try to win."
04:51 "Become a champion."
04:52 "Become the best in that."
04:53 And Alhamdulillah,
04:54 with prayers and blessings
04:56 from the fans' support,
04:58 from my parents' support,
05:00 my parents' prayers,
05:01 Alhamdulillah,
05:02 I was nominated as a champion.
05:04 That was in 2016.
05:05 And like what you asked earlier,
05:07 "Can I get what I want as a champion?"
05:11 At that time, in Fantasia Academy,
05:14 I did get what I wanted.
05:15 Which is to become the best.
05:17 Champion.
05:18 Champion.
05:18 And after that,
05:22 that's when the journey of Ami Masdi began.
05:24 Which was full of twists and turns.
05:26 And also full of holes in the road.
05:29 So, it's not like...
05:31 - As easy as becoming a champion.
05:32 - And then I felt like,
05:34 "Oh, Ami Masdi."
05:35 "Ami has got what he wants to be a champion."
05:36 "So, it's easy after this."
05:38 No, it's not easy.
05:39 It's not as easy as what people think
05:42 and what people see.
05:43 Only me and my team
05:44 know how hard it is for us to have that journey.
05:48 Before we get to that, Ami,
05:50 do you have any singers in your family?
05:53 Other than your dad who loves to sing karaoke.
05:55 - No.
05:56 - No?
05:57 - Do you have any siblings?
05:59 - My siblings are the ones who don't like to sing.
06:00 - Okay.
06:01 - If there's a family karaoke session at home,
06:05 the microphone is with me.
06:07 My sister likes to sing,
06:10 but she can't sing.
06:11 And she knows that.
06:12 She just sings for fun.
06:13 And my dad.
06:16 Me, my dad, my sister.
06:18 The three of us are the only ones who always hold the mic.
06:20 And I sing because I like music.
06:23 Singing was my second favorite.
06:25 I like to listen to music.
06:26 - Okay.
06:27 - Did you sing at school?
06:28 - Never.
06:28 I never sang in front of people.
06:30 Even if they didn't know, I could sing.
06:31 - Okay.
06:32 - It was only once or twice.
06:33 During school break or after SPM,
06:35 my friend invited me to karaoke.
06:37 I'm the type of person who rarely goes out.
06:39 I just stay at home and play games.
06:40 Once I went out,
06:42 I followed them to karaoke.
06:43 They were surprised.
06:43 "Amir, you can sing?"
06:44 I said, "Really?"
06:47 Maybe it didn't work.
06:47 Maybe they were the only ones who listened.
06:48 That's how I felt at the time.
06:49 - Amir, Amir Mazdi, during school,
06:55 when you were already known as Amir Mazdi,
06:59 was he different?
07:01 And when your friends or family met him,
07:05 did they expect you to be like this?
07:08 - Yes, he was actually different.
07:09 - Okay.
07:10 - He was very different in terms of expectations.
07:13 But in terms of personality and character,
07:16 they still saw the same Amir Mazdi.
07:19 They felt like,
07:20 "Oh, Amir is still the same kid we know."
07:23 And they treated me like the old Amir Mazdi.
07:26 Amir Shazwan Mazdi, like the old Amir Mazdi.
07:28 But in terms of work,
07:30 they didn't expect that.
07:30 "Oh, you can sing?"
07:32 "Why didn't you sing earlier?"
07:34 "If you can't, call for my sister's wedding."
07:36 And the teachers were the same.
07:38 "Why didn't you sing on Teacher's Day?"
07:41 "Why didn't you sing when you were a teenager?"
07:42 All that.
07:43 So, like...
07:44 They just gave me that kind of exposure.
07:48 - Or was Amir a very introvert person in the past?
07:50 - Very, bro.
07:51 Like I told you earlier,
07:52 at school, my friends and teachers
07:54 didn't always hear my voice.
07:56 I rarely spoke at school.
07:58 I didn't want to interact.
08:01 - So, you went to school,
08:02 just to go to school, study, and come back.
08:05 - Correct.
08:05 Even my school uniform,
08:06 throughout school,
08:07 for five years, from Form 1 to Form 5,
08:09 I wore the same uniform.
08:10 - Okay.
08:11 - I was the kind of person,
08:12 in my world,
08:14 in a world where I didn't care
08:17 what my friends were like,
08:20 I was just passionate about music.
08:24 I was passionate about having an album,
08:25 I was passionate about being a singer,
08:26 I was passionate about being a rock star.
08:27 - Okay.
08:28 - From your dreams,
08:31 Amir,
08:31 you were fortunate to win a trophy.
08:33 - Alhamdulillah.
08:33 - When you entered the industry,
08:36 we know that the path is not easy.
08:37 - Correct.
08:38 - Like Amir said earlier,
08:40 the trophy is not a ticket for you to be known.
08:44 - Correct.
08:44 - And I followed your career path.
08:47 - Okay.
08:47 - There was a hidden meaning.
08:50 - Yes.
08:50 - Until at one point,
08:51 you were known as Amir Mazdi.
08:53 This is more like,
08:54 people opened their eyes,
08:55 "Oh, he's Amir Mazdi."
08:56 - Hmm.
08:57 - A very talented person.
08:58 Was it hard, Amir,
09:00 to get to the point where people wanted to recognize Amir Mazdi?
09:04 - I would say it was hard,
09:06 it was very subjective.
09:10 For me,
09:11 what I went through was not to the point where I couldn't cope at all.
09:18 It is very hard.
09:20 It was a difficult journey.
09:21 But,
09:22 Alhamdulillah,
09:23 with the help of my team,
09:24 and the help of my family,
09:26 with the understanding between me and my family,
09:30 it made the difficult things easier to face.
09:35 So,
09:39 it was hard,
09:40 but it became easier with the help of people around me.
09:45 - At one point, did you feel like,
09:47 "Oh, if I didn't get in,
09:49 I wouldn't have to go through all this."
09:51 - Yes, I did.
09:53 There were two.
09:54 First,
09:54 if I didn't get into AF,
09:56 I wouldn't have to face all this.
09:59 - It was very hard.
10:00 - It was very hard.
10:01 But,
10:01 if I didn't get into AF,
10:06 I wouldn't be here.
10:07 And, I wouldn't have this blessing.
10:09 And, I wouldn't have the opportunity to
10:12 improvise.
10:16 Who is Amir Masti?
10:17 And,
10:17 the growth.
10:18 I mean,
10:19 the growth of an Amir.
10:22 An Amir Shazwan Bin Masti.
10:23 - Amir, when you were...
10:25 Of course, as a singer,
10:27 we hope that people will get to know us.
10:30 We hope that
10:31 we will always have a show called "Undang Nama Nyanyi".
10:36 So, when the name Amir Masti hasn't become Amir Masti,
10:38 it feels like
10:40 it's too much of a setback for you.
10:44 - Yes.
10:44 - When people don't call you,
10:48 or people don't know you.
10:50 - I have had a few moments
10:56 where I felt like,
10:58 "This is not going anywhere."
10:59 And,
11:01 Amir Masti,
11:02 as a singer,
11:04 maybe I'm only here.
11:05 Or maybe people don't even care
11:10 who Amir is at that time.
11:14 So, from there,
11:15 for me,
11:17 whatever success,
11:18 we have two choices.
11:22 A or B.
11:22 If we're at the bottom,
11:24 and we feel like,
11:25 "Okay, it's not going anywhere."
11:27 Then,
11:28 we want to go to,
11:29 "Okay, I'm going to improve myself
11:30 and prove it to everyone."
11:33 Or, I'll just keep
11:34 with my mindset that,
11:37 "Okay, I'll just get here.
11:39 So, I don't want to waste time.
11:40 I don't want to overdo it."
11:41 So, it's up to yourself.
11:44 And I,
11:45 Alhamdulillah,
11:45 with the people around me,
11:47 they give me a very positive mindset
11:50 or energy,
11:51 which makes me feel like,
11:53 "Okay, I have to go for this road.
11:55 I have to go for this A,
11:58 the journey."
11:59 Which,
12:00 I think,
12:01 that's what makes me want
12:05 improve
12:05 as an artist.
12:08 We,
12:08 not only the talent,
12:11 but it makes us A++.
12:12 Amir, have you ever been at a stage,
12:15 a moment,
12:16 where you don't get any income
12:17 as an artist?
12:18 Yes, I have.
12:18 I remember,
12:19 in the beginning,
12:22 my manager said,
12:23 "Amir, we have a show.
12:24 I'm happy.
12:25 And then,
12:27 I asked,
12:28 after the show,
12:29 "How much did he pay me?"
12:30 "This time, no, Amir.
12:33 No payment."
12:34 So, I was like,
12:35 "Oh, really? Okay."
12:36 At that time,
12:37 I was like,
12:38 "Oh my God,
12:39 is this how it is?
12:39 Singing is hard,
12:40 but there's no payment, right?"
12:42 So, at that time,
12:43 I remember,
12:43 I had a time when
12:44 I went to a performance,
12:47 I went here and there,
12:48 singing a lot of songs,
12:49 but there was no payment at all.
12:51 I sang for free,
12:52 even though I had just been named
12:54 as a champion.
12:54 Champion?
12:55 But at that time,
12:56 I told myself,
12:57 "Amir, it's okay.
12:58 Maybe this is,
12:59 God wants to say,
13:02 this is a platform for you
13:03 to find more experience,
13:04 so that you can improve."
13:05 And this was a test.
13:08 So, I just take it as,
13:10 like,
13:10 "Okay, this is just
13:11 a roadblock that I need to face."
13:13 Maybe at that time,
13:16 I will get experience,
13:17 I will get exposure,
13:18 I will get
13:19 an opportunity to improve
13:22 as a singer.
13:23 Which is,
13:24 I think it's true.
13:26 That was an opportunity for me
13:27 to improve as a singer.
13:29 And I got a lot of experience from that.
13:31 So, at that time,
13:32 you were the one who took the place
13:33 to support...
13:34 Okay, they didn't know that.
13:36 So, the hard part is,
13:40 the harsh truth is,
13:41 when I was...
13:42 So, when I was in a time
13:45 where I went to shows
13:46 without any payment,
13:46 I went home,
13:48 my parents were happy.
13:50 "It's great that you have payment,
13:52 you can treat yourself to food."
13:53 Or something like that.
13:54 Like,
13:55 my parents' expectations
13:56 that I would get a payment
13:57 to sing, right?
13:59 But,
13:59 when I got home,
14:00 my parents were like,
14:01 "Oh, he has payment."
14:02 But in my silence,
14:03 we were the only ones who knew.
14:04 I didn't want to tell them
14:05 because
14:06 I didn't want them to worry.
14:07 I was like, "Oh, really?
14:08 Singing like this?
14:10 Why?
14:11 They will be worried."
14:12 So, I didn't want them to worry at all.
14:13 I just
14:14 tolerated it.
14:15 Only me and my team knew.
14:16 And,
14:18 my manager said,
14:19 "One day, you will get
14:20 the payment
14:21 that you deserve."
14:22 So, alhamdulillah.
14:24 So, at that time,
14:25 what did you do?
14:26 Well, you were hiding it.
14:29 At that time,
14:30 I was sleeping in the studio.
14:31 At that time,
14:32 I just followed my manager
14:35 to meet
14:36 people
14:37 who had experience.
14:39 So, at that time,
14:40 I...
14:41 I think I spent a lot of time
14:43 in the studio.
14:44 To avoid
14:45 so that you won't be asked?
14:46 Yes, that's right.
14:48 That's one reason
14:48 why I didn't want to
14:50 stay at home.
14:50 I didn't want to
14:51 be surrounded by
14:54 things that
14:55 bothered me.
14:57 Like,
14:58 "I'm just at home.
14:59 I didn't do anything.
15:00 I don't need to do this."
15:01 So, those things were negative for me.
15:02 So, I went out.
15:03 I went to the studio.
15:04 So, at least,
15:05 at the same time,
15:05 you wanted to let
15:07 your family
15:08 to see you.
15:10 Yes, that's right.
15:10 So that they can see that you're busy.
15:12 I was busy.
15:13 I saw that there were a lot of jobs.
15:14 Okay.
15:15 But, I went to the studio
15:17 just to get exposure
15:18 and to see
15:19 the studio environment.
15:21 I learned there
15:21 how to record,
15:22 how to
15:23 sing,
15:24 how to do mixing,
15:25 and everything.
15:26 All the studio work,
15:27 that's where I got my experience.
15:29 I got my learning.
15:30 And,
15:30 you're right.
15:32 I actually went to the studio
15:34 to get busy
15:35 to get exposure
15:36 to my family's
15:38 perspective.
15:40 When they asked you
15:41 "Ami, let's..."
15:41 Of course, like parents,
15:44 they're happy when there's work.
15:45 "Let's go there."
15:46 How did you avoid it?
15:48 Did that happen?
15:49 It rarely happened, bro.
15:53 Because
15:53 my parents are the type
15:54 who rarely go out.
15:55 Okay.
15:56 They're also the type
15:56 who rarely ask for things like
15:57 "Ami, let's go shopping."
15:59 Okay.
15:59 They're very
16:00 very supportive.
16:01 If they think
16:02 their children want to go shopping,
16:03 they're okay.
16:03 They're okay.
16:04 They don't ask for it.
16:05 They don't ask for it, that's right.
16:06 So, at that time,
16:08 you felt that, "Ami, this is how it is
16:10 when we work."
16:11 That's right.
16:12 It's not easy to be easy.
16:14 And,
16:15 it's not hard to be hard.
16:17 So,
16:17 Did you get lost a lot of times?
16:18 Or, did you get lost in your fate?
16:20 I was in the studio
16:22 for a day.
16:22 I was in the studio doing nothing.
16:24 I got lost.
16:25 Then, I slept in the studio.
16:27 And then,
16:27 Waiting for the job to come in.
16:29 Waiting for the job to come in.
16:30 I remember,
16:32 there was only one show per month.
16:34 It was free.
16:35 But, I kept on saying,
16:38 "Okay, Amir.
16:39 Just do it.
16:39 One day,
16:40 all of this hard work will pay off.
16:43 You'll get it one day.
16:45 The magic."
16:47 So, I held on to
16:49 my manager's words.
16:52 How much did you get for your first show?
16:56 Hmm...
16:58 I think it was at the shop.
17:00 300.
17:04 Hmm...
17:06 I remember.
17:06 I remember it was 300.
17:07 So, you were happy with 300, Amir?
17:09 I was happy.
17:10 I was happy.
17:11 Because, it was my first payment.
17:12 I was like, "Oh, yes!"
17:13 Compared to the previous one that didn't exist.
17:14 Yes, that's right.
17:15 But, how did you survive with 300?
17:18 Hmm...
17:19 Yeah, that's it.
17:20 I don't know how I could survive financially.
17:23 Maybe, I'm not the type of person
17:24 who likes to spend money.
17:26 I like shopping.
17:27 I was...
17:27 At home,
17:29 like I said earlier,
17:29 I wore the same school uniform for 5 years.
17:32 So, I'm the type of person who doesn't care.
17:33 I'll wait until the thing is broken
17:35 before I buy it.
17:36 Maybe, at that time,
17:37 I didn't care.
17:38 For the financial,
17:40 Alhamdulillah,
17:41 I got control.
17:43 And,
17:44 when we've been growing up,
17:48 growing up,
17:48 of course, we need...
17:49 The payment has increased.
17:50 The payment has increased.
17:51 So, there's a lot of commitment.
17:52 So, that's when
17:55 a lot of things came in.
17:56 So,
17:58 at this moment,
17:59 you feel more grateful
18:00 because...
18:00 Very, very grateful.
18:02 If you look at it.
18:03 I'm very grateful
18:04 because
18:04 I've been through
18:06 the difficult phase.
18:08 So, when we get
18:09 a more pleasant phase,
18:12 we feel like,
18:14 "Uish!"
18:15 Grateful and
18:17 we really appreciate
18:19 the big things now.
18:23 Because we've been through
18:24 the difficult phase.
18:25 So, we know how it feels
18:27 when we're there.
18:28 People say that
18:32 you're very thoughtful, Amir.
18:35 Very thoughtful.
18:37 Yes.
18:37 What's your next plan?
18:39 What do you want to do at that time?
18:40 That's right.
18:42 Planning...
18:45 One thing that I'm very grateful for
18:49 and I feel very fortunate for
18:51 is
18:52 my success,
18:54 the progress,
18:55 if we have a graph,
18:56 it's a little bit higher.
18:58 So, from there,
18:59 we can slowly arrange
19:02 a more detailed strategy
19:03 and more organized.
19:05 So, if we suddenly
19:07 jump or suddenly fall,
19:08 that's the strategy
19:09 that we have to go for.
19:11 Emergency has
19:12 impromptu,
19:13 has a plan.
19:15 So, that thing will
19:16 give an impact that is
19:18 either
19:19 very positive or very negative.
19:21 It's not like
19:22 slowly build up
19:24 or slowly build down.
19:25 Have you ever felt like...
19:27 Well, we know
19:29 of course, every singer
19:31 or artist,
19:32 they want
19:33 one thing that
19:35 at least
19:37 there are fans,
19:38 they know.
19:38 When it's not known,
19:41 how is it, Amir?
19:42 Do you feel it?
19:42 Yes, in the world of artists.
19:44 I feel embarrassed.
19:45 I feel embarrassed and I feel like
19:47 hope is getting lighter.
19:49 So,
19:51 when we go to events,
19:53 it's easy to tell.
19:53 Events.
19:54 We have a lot of big artists
19:56 who are rising,
19:57 who are...
19:57 Popular, people say.
19:59 Popular, people say, right?
20:00 So, we're there
20:01 like a kid.
20:02 We feel like,
20:03 "Ah, I don't have anyone to know."
20:05 So, that feeling,
20:08 the feeling that I feel
20:09 is not good, actually,
20:10 for any singer.
20:12 They will feel like
20:13 the confidence is lost.
20:15 So,
20:16 becoming a celebrity,
20:18 singer, actor,
20:19 or public figure,
20:20 confidence is one of the most important things
20:22 that we have.
20:23 So, when I...
20:24 When I don't have confidence,
20:27 or the confidence is decreasing
20:31 because we see things
20:32 that we want to see
20:35 but we don't have,
20:36 it's really annoying, bro.
20:37 It's really annoying.
20:40 Especially when we want to perform.
20:41 After the performance,
20:44 we want to meet people,
20:45 we have to just smile
20:46 even though we're like...
20:47 Feeling.
20:48 Feeling not good.
20:49 I feel like I'm not in the mood anymore.
20:50 Like...
20:51 "Oh, I'm tired."
20:52 Like this, right?
20:54 Emotionally tired, mentally tired.
20:55 But then,
20:56 in front of people,
20:56 we still have to show
20:58 positive energy,
21:01 good energy.
21:02 So, that thing is actually tiring too.
21:03 When the moment that you never got
21:06 in the past,
21:07 you got it now,
21:08 you...
21:08 How?
21:10 Well,
21:10 the feeling of pride.
21:16 Yes, bro.
21:18 It's actually touching, bro.
21:19 I can feel touched
21:22 and then I feel proud.
21:24 And...
21:25 I'm touched because
21:27 finally I got proof to myself
21:31 and to the people around me
21:34 that actually we can do it.
21:35 And even though we feel like
21:38 for one, two years,
21:41 three years,
21:41 we feel like
21:42 "No, this is not it."
21:43 "There's no hope."
21:44 "It's really not possible."
21:46 But then, when we finally got proof
21:48 to ourselves
21:49 and finally got proof to
21:51 the people around us
21:54 that actually we can do it,
21:55 that is
21:55 an achievement that
21:58 we can't get anywhere else.
21:59 We can't get that feeling anywhere else.
22:00 Even though we won a trophy
22:01 or won money,
22:03 but winning
22:03 an achievement that we can
22:07 prove to ourselves
22:08 that we can do it,
22:09 that is a feeling that...
22:11 In short, I can say it's magic, bro.
22:14 Magic.
22:15 And especially,
22:16 when we got home,
22:17 we finally got to see
22:19 genuine happiness
22:21 from our parents.
22:22 They felt like
22:23 "This is what we want to see,
22:25 a successful child."
22:26 As a child,
22:27 we made our parents proud,
22:30 that is a very big feeling.
22:35 Yes, because we can know
22:36 the instincts of a mother,
22:37 a child, how it is.
22:39 Maybe they know that
22:40 at first,
22:42 "Oh, my child is difficult."
22:44 I think my mother knows, actually.
22:45 But she didn't say it.
22:46 But she didn't say it.
22:47 She didn't disturb.
22:48 Because,
22:48 of course, like I said earlier,
22:50 as a child,
22:51 we don't want to worry them.
22:52 And as parents,
22:54 they don't want us to feel like
22:55 they're worried
22:56 or they don't want us to overthink.
22:59 Yes, because maybe one thing is
23:02 their dream too,
23:04 to see Amir as a singer.
23:06 So I think maybe they don't want to show
23:10 their sadness.
23:12 Because they want to know
23:14 their child will go forward.
23:16 Yes, that's right.
23:17 The important thing is
23:18 they keep on being positive.
23:19 And I will absorb that energy
23:21 and I will share it with everyone.
23:23 When Amir was there,
23:23 I mean,
23:25 people already know Amir.
23:26 Amir's songs,
23:28 then Amir has reached
23:29 the stage of competition,
23:31 being prestigious,
23:32 he has already sold songs and so on.
23:34 Was the old disappointment
23:37 paid off to Amir?
23:38 I think
23:40 he got
23:43 the scars and scars
23:45 he had in the past.
23:47 He was covered up a little.
23:47 He was covered up.
23:48 But the scars are still there.
23:50 Okay.
23:51 The scars are so strong.
23:53 For me,
23:54 it's quite strong.
23:57 I can say that it's a scar.
23:59 It's not a wound that can be healed.
24:01 That can be healed immediately.
24:02 It's a scar.
24:03 And the scars,
24:04 if people say,
24:06 "Amir, do you want to go to the clinic and remove the scars?"
24:08 No.
24:09 We have it.
24:09 I don't want to.
24:10 Because that's a memory
24:11 and that's a lesson.
24:13 And also a reminder for me.
24:14 In the future.
24:16 In the future.
24:17 We never know what's going to happen.
24:19 And the things that we've been through,
24:24 that we appreciate,
24:25 that's a reminder
24:27 so that we're back on track.
24:29 Amir,
24:31 in "Pada Kita Tahu",
24:32 in Kuala Lumpur, we can say that
24:34 Amir is one of the young singers who
24:36 has the characteristics of a rock star.
24:40 Right?
24:40 Singing in Pentas
24:41 and the songs that Amir made,
24:43 people say that there are elements like that.
24:45 But in a distance,
24:47 Amir is someone who
24:48 is easy to be touched.
24:52 Because we never see
24:54 who are Amir Masdi's friends.
24:56 If it's another artist or someone else,
25:00 maybe he will share who his friends are.
25:01 Where he hangs out and so on.
25:04 But I think Amir Masdi is a very closed person
25:07 for things like that.
25:08 Why, Amir?
25:09 Or are you the type who
25:11 doesn't like to mix with people?
25:12 I don't have a specific reason for that.
25:16 I think I've been used to it since I was a kid.
25:18 Now I'm used to
25:19 a life where I work, I work.
25:23 And if it's personal life, it's personal life.
25:24 So, seeing Amir Masdi as a singer
25:28 is different from his work life?
25:31 Right?
25:31 If it's personality, it's the same.
25:34 But if it's life, I think...
25:36 I don't know.
25:39 I just put work and personal life
25:43 are different.
25:44 But I live in the same life.
25:47 So, I'm not a person who is different
25:49 in both environments.
25:52 I'm the same person.
25:54 It's just that I don't share my personal life
25:56 because I think...
25:57 I'm a kid.
25:58 I'm the type who doesn't share with people.
25:59 And I have a very small circle.
26:01 And I rarely go out.
26:04 So...
26:05 Do you still have friends?
26:07 Yes, I do.
26:08 Oh, you have friends.
26:08 My friends since I was a kid.
26:11 They supported me at AF.
26:13 Every week, they came.
26:14 And they still exist.
26:15 Do you have industry friends?
26:16 I do.
26:18 I'm friends with everyone.
26:19 And in the industry, I have close friends.
26:22 It's just that when I hang out with them,
26:26 I rarely make stories
26:27 because that's not me.
26:28 I'm the type who's like, "Okay."
26:29 I just hang out and make stories.
26:31 I'm not the type who wants to show everything.
26:34 When was the last time you cried?
26:38 Oh, man.
26:39 Well...
26:58 Well...
26:59 And finally, it came out by itself.
27:19 I don't know.
27:20 It's just...
27:20 On that night...
27:22 Um...
27:22 Even to my parents, even to my friends.
27:36 But...
27:38 I mean...
27:44 It's something that I've been holding on to for a long time.
27:52 Until now.
27:53 I'm so down.
27:54 I don't want to think about it.
27:55 I don't want to go back to it.
27:57 I don't want to visit that nature.
28:00 That nature.
28:01 Yeah.
28:01 That emotion.
28:02 So, the ball of emotion suddenly broke.
28:07 So, it just came out naturally on that night.
28:10 So, you let it go by crying.
28:12 I let it go by crying.
28:13 That's right.
28:14 I remember that time I listened to this song.
28:16 The song...
28:19 The song "Faizal Tahiratu".
28:21 I was in the car at that time.
28:23 I just got off work.
28:25 So, I was tired.
28:27 I think I was physically tired at that time.
28:29 Because this year, thank God, there are also a lot of shows.
28:32 So, maybe that's one of the reasons why...
28:34 It came out.
28:37 Mixed.
28:37 Physical fatigue.
28:38 Emotional fatigue.
28:39 Mental fatigue.
28:40 And the pendant.
28:42 It's been a long time.
28:43 So, it...
28:44 What is the pendant?
28:46 It's a collection of heartbreak.
28:49 Okay.
28:50 It's a collection of disappointment.
28:53 And it's a collection of exhaustion.
28:57 So, those three things.
28:59 Heartbreak.
29:00 Disappointment.
29:01 And fatigue.
29:03 Those three things are collected throughout the years.
29:06 There's no specific one event that happened that made it explode.
29:13 It's just a total of collection of events that I've been through before.
29:19 So, it's just...
29:21 Maybe my body was tired.
29:23 My body was like, "Ah, I'm tired."
29:24 And I rarely cry.
29:27 I rarely cry.
29:28 And when I cry, it's always...
29:31 So, you must cry too.
29:36 Yeah, of course.
29:37 I cry too.
29:38 The heartbreak earlier was related to someone else too, maybe?
29:42 That's right.
29:43 It's related to someone that I've...
29:45 You like?
29:46 I've been in a relationship with.
29:49 For a long time?
29:51 It was a long time ago.
29:52 It's been a long time.
29:53 And it still affects me until now.
29:55 Because I can say that at that time,
29:59 when it comes to this relationship, I'm the serious type.
30:04 I...
30:06 Before I got into the relationship, I really disappointed.
30:09 "Am I really going to get into this relationship?"
30:11 I'm not the type to jump straight into it.
30:13 I thought it through.
30:14 I think I can do it.
30:18 And I think I'm serious.
30:19 Then I got into the relationship.
30:21 As long as I feel like, "No, I'm not ready."
30:25 I feel serious but not serious.
30:27 Like I'm not 100% serious.
30:29 Don't.
30:29 I don't want to take that risk because...
30:31 That thing, for me, what I've been through,
30:35 it will waste time and energy.
30:37 And it will disrupt my work.
30:38 So, I don't want to disturb these three things because
30:40 I'm the first son and I'm just thinking about my family.
30:43 But in the end, you were disappointed in the relationship.
30:46 Yes, that's right.
30:48 It ended up not as...
30:49 But it also affected you.
30:51 That's right.
30:52 I...
30:54 You know, we can't expect
30:55 a beautiful relationship.
30:58 And I didn't expect it to be like that.
31:01 How long was it?
31:02 It was...
31:04 Back then, it was a 10-year relationship.
31:08 Okay.
31:09 So, it didn't work out.
31:10 And after that...
31:12 It was a 10-year relationship?
31:13 Yes, that's right.
31:14 And after that, there was another person.
31:16 It was a two and a half, three years relationship.
31:21 So, it didn't work out as well.
31:22 And until now, it's just like that.
31:26 So, it's a collection of...
31:28 You mean, Amis is someone who is very...
31:31 It's hard for...
31:33 I mean, to put that relationship
31:38 in a phase where we won't have a serious relationship.
31:42 Yes, that's right.
31:43 People say, it's easy to say,
31:44 nowadays, people say,
31:46 "No need to declare."
31:47 You mean, Amis is someone who wants...
31:49 The relationship is serious and ends up with something good, people say.
31:54 That's right.
31:55 It's easy to say, people say, "Marry."
31:57 That's right.
31:58 So, I just...
31:59 I date to marry.
32:01 That's how it is.
32:02 I...
32:02 I just...
32:04 I want to get into that relationship, of course.
32:05 What's the purpose?
32:07 The purpose is to build a mosque
32:11 and live together forever.
32:13 When was the last time?
32:16 Last year?
32:17 Before the lockdown.
32:19 That was the last time?
32:20 Yes, sir.
32:21 So, after that, you were afraid to fall in love again?
32:24 Or you didn't meet someone you really wanted to be serious with?
32:28 At first, I felt like I was afraid to get into a relationship.
32:31 But then, after that fear was gone,
32:35 I felt like I didn't want to force myself to look for someone.
32:40 And I didn't want to chase this love too much.
32:44 I was afraid I would fall in love again.
32:46 So, I want...
32:47 People say, "Build yourself."
32:51 It means, build yourself, keep on improving,
32:54 and become a man who is more...
32:58 People say, "Throughout the years, we will become a more mature man."
33:03 Because we want to lead the family.
33:06 So, keep on growing until, God willing,
33:11 someone comes to you without even knowing.
33:15 Maybe it's him.
33:17 So, your heart will be touched.
33:18 But it means, in the same time,
33:21 when you remember the pain you've had,
33:26 it has a huge impact on you, right?
33:28 Of course, of course.
33:29 If it's you, you can win.
33:31 Remember that.
33:33 Even just remembering it can make me feel touched.
33:36 How...
33:37 People say, "It's deep."
33:39 That's right, bro.
33:40 I think a lot of people can relate to that.
33:43 Because love is an emotion or an element that is very big.
33:49 This love.
33:51 So, a lot of people have gone through all kinds of love.
33:57 So, each of us knows how big and heavy the impact is.
34:04 Have you ever been included in your works?
34:07 Yes, I have.
34:07 These stories.
34:09 Yes, I have.
34:09 But not in a specific way.
34:11 Okay.
34:12 I don't have a name or a place.
34:16 Or...
34:16 I don't have any specific personal things.
34:20 I just write in general with what I'm feeling right now.
34:24 What I feel at that moment.
34:26 So, one of them is a song...
34:27 What song?
34:30 Memori Besama.
34:33 In that album...
34:35 I didn't release it as a single.
34:37 So, those who have my album have heard Memori Besama.
34:40 That's one of the songs that I wrote the fastest and most raw, most natural.
34:46 And it depicts your feelings.
34:49 That's right, bro.
34:49 The relationship you've been through.
34:51 That's right.
34:51 It's told in the song, right?
34:55 That's right.
34:56 I think that song is one of the mediums that gives me...
35:01 ...an opportunity to release it there instead of releasing it somewhere else.
35:06 Like...
35:07 ...I want to cry for a while or I want to express it to people.
35:11 I'm not afraid.
35:12 Well, as men, we don't want people to see us...
35:17 ...a little bit.
35:18 A little bit like...
35:19 ...wanting to cry or something.
35:21 We don't want to show our feelings.
35:22 Weak.
35:23 So, we men have that ego.
35:25 Yes.
35:26 We've been talking about who Amir Mazdi is.
35:31 He's successful.
35:32 And in the end, we know that Amir is someone who...
35:35 ...cries in the relationship as well.
35:39 Right, Amir?
35:39 So, what's next for Amir?
35:42 So that people can see more.
35:45 Okay, this is Amir Mazdi.
35:47 For...
35:48 ...the future.
35:50 What people can expect.
35:53 And what people can...
35:54 ...God willing, will see Amir Mazdi in the future is...
35:59 ...I will continue...
36:00 ...continue...
36:01 ...to take the next step.
36:06 And I will continue to learn.
36:08 And I will continue to improve as a singer.
36:12 I won't stop here.
36:13 Hard work.
36:13 Until when we need that hard work.
36:17 And...
36:18 I...
36:20 My dream is to become a singer.
36:23 Among the best singers.
36:25 Among the best singers.
36:27 And among the legendary lines in our country.
36:32 That's my dream.
36:33 And I will...
36:34 Work hard.
36:35 Me and my team, my family, we will work hard to...
36:38 ...God willing, to achieve that.
36:39 Amir, if...
36:41 ...your mother is listening to our podcast...
36:46 ...what do you want to say to her?
36:48 What you've been hiding from her.
36:52 Okay.
36:53 To my parents...
36:55 ...my parents...
36:56 Well, of course, before this...
37:00 I've never told them about this.
37:03 If my parents are watching this.
37:04 I've never told them about this.
37:07 About the payment.
37:08 Whether there's no payment.
37:09 Or...
37:10 ...going to the studio without doing any work.
37:11 Just sleeping.
37:12 Or...
37:13 All the difficulties I've been through.
37:15 I think you guys...
37:16 ...know.
37:18 You guys knew that...
37:19 ...I was in that phase.
37:22 I was in that phase.
37:23 I think they know.
37:24 But...
37:25 ...the glory and beauty of...
37:28 ...a mother and father...
37:31 ...when they...
37:33 ...replace...
37:35 ...the difficulties with their prayers.
37:38 With their support.
37:41 And also...
37:42 ...their positivity.
37:43 These three things...
37:45 ...make...
37:47 ...make...
37:47 ...the success or...
37:52 ...the growth of Amin Masdi...
37:54 ...that we have now.
37:56 Those are the factors that...
37:58 ...make me who I am now.
38:01 And of course...
38:02 ...from the fans too.
38:03 The fans...
38:04 ...even though there weren't many in the past.
38:06 But now, they're getting more and more...
38:07 ...and more...
38:08 Big.
38:09 ...and more.
38:09 And they support each other.
38:10 And they support...
38:11 ...one person, Amin Masdi.
38:13 And support Amin Masdi's music.
38:15 That's a beautiful thing for me.
38:17 So...
38:17 ...to my parents...
38:19 ...I just want to say...
38:21 ...thank you very much.
38:23 I rarely say thank you to you guys.
38:25 But this time...
38:27 ...I want to take this special moment...
38:29 ...to thank you for everything...
38:32 ...throughout the years.
38:33 And thank you for making me...
38:35 ...your...
38:37 ...son...
38:39 ...who...
38:39 ...always...
38:41 ...remember himself...
38:43 ...so that he remembers his parents...
38:46 ...remembers the people he loves...
38:47 ...and always appreciates the people who appreciate us.
38:50 I thank you for that.
38:52 So sweet, Amin.
38:54 And thank you too, brother.
38:56 Because you're the one who gave me the opportunity...
38:58 ...and also...
38:59 ...the door for me...
39:01 ...to say all this.
39:02 Thank you, brother.
39:04 Thank you, brother.
39:05 Thanks to Amin...
39:06 ...for being in this dark room.
39:09 And this is what we want for Amin.
39:12 We know that Amin is a very...
39:14 I know.
39:15 ...difficult person to share.
39:17 That's right.
39:17 Thanks for sharing with us.
39:20 I really appreciate it.
39:21 Our listeners and viewers.
39:23 Yes.
39:24 Amin, and maybe in the end...
39:25 ...a few words for Amin's fans.
39:28 Amin's own music fans...
39:31 ...in the album that I think I've listened to...
39:35 ...from the beginning...
39:36 ...he started to be praised.
39:38 All the songs are very potent...
39:40 ...and the one that came out...
39:41 Praise God.
39:42 ...Aura Tejora.
39:43 Aura Tejora, the latest, right?
39:44 So, maybe there's something...
39:46 ...to say to all the fans.
39:48 For the fans...
39:49 I think for the fans...
39:53 ...there's no words that can describe...
39:56 ...how grateful and appreciated...
39:58 ...the fans are for an artist...
40:01 ...especially for a singer.
40:03 Because...
40:03 ...without fans...
40:05 ...the singer can't...
40:08 ...evolve.
40:11 There can't be energy on the stage.
40:15 There can't be...
40:15 ...exposure like this.
40:20 So...
40:21 I just want to say to the fans out there...
40:24 ...it doesn't matter if the fans are in silence...
40:26 ...the fans that never appear...
40:28 ...the fans that always appear...
40:29 ...the fans that are always active...
40:32 ...interacting on social media...
40:33 ...or the fans that always pray...
40:36 ...anyone...
40:37 ...as long as you give...
40:40 ...and...
40:40 ...people say...
40:42 ...that support...
40:44 ...big or small...
40:44 ...I'm grateful and I'm grateful...
40:47 ...and I appreciate everyone...
40:50 ...who always supports Amin Masdi.
40:53 And...
40:54 ...because of you, I'm here...
40:56 ...and you're willing...
40:58 ...to interview me...
40:59 ...for this confession of Bilik Gelap.
41:01 And it's because of you guys too.
41:03 And the songs of Amin Masdi...
41:04 ...the works that I wrote...
41:06 ...the works that I have sung...
41:08 ...from the songs of the great composers...
41:10 ...your support for the work...
41:14 ...made the work more beautiful...
41:16 ...and more special for me.
41:17 And when I made the album that day...
41:19 ...every location...
41:21 ...I saw different fans coming...
41:24 ...and there were fans who always came...
41:26 ...I saw...
41:27 ...and...
41:28 ...they came again...
41:28 ...they came again, full house...
41:30 ...and that made me feel like...
41:32 ...this is what I've been...
41:34 ...wanting...
41:36 ...this is what I'm living for.
41:37 This is life...
41:39 ...this is reality...
41:40 ...and this is the dream of every singer...
41:42 ...to sing their work in front of...
41:44 ...the fans...
41:46 ...who really support us.
41:48 So...
41:48 ...it's a really beautiful...
41:50 ...journey.
41:52 ...journey, bro.
41:52 So we have to make a concert soon.
41:55 That's right, God willing.
41:56 Maybe there will be a second album...
41:58 ...we'll add more songs.
41:59 So it's enough...
42:00 ...the quota of Amin Masdi's songs to make a concert.
42:03 God willing.
42:05 Amin, thank you very much...
42:06 Thank you very much, bro.
42:07 ...for being with us...
42:07 Thank you very much.
42:08 ...in the show...
42:08 ...Amin Sudi...
42:09 ...in the show...
42:09 ...Confession Bilik Gelap...
42:11 ...for the fourth season.
42:12 Thank you very much.
42:13 And...
42:13 ...I think...
42:14 ...every verse that Amin shared...
42:20 ...is better than...
42:20 ...how Amin started as Amin Masdi...
42:24 ...and then...
42:24 ...how hard it is to be an Amin Masdi now.
42:29 I hope it will be an inspiration for all of us.
42:33 God willing, bro.
42:34 Because...
42:34 God willing.
42:35 I believe everyone goes through...
42:38 ...the same phase as Amin.
42:40 But maybe...
42:41 ...the difference is...
42:43 ...they may not be in the same job as Amin.
42:48 But to achieve one thing that we dream of...
42:52 ...is not easy.
42:54 ...is not easy.
42:55 And it does require, as people say...
42:57 ...hard work.
42:58 A lot of patience.
42:58 A lot of patience.
42:59 That's right, bro.
43:00 Yes.
43:00 What I've been through...
43:01 ...what I can share to people who listen to the podcast...
43:04 ...and watch the podcast...
43:05 ...no matter what job it is...
43:07 ...I can share...
43:09 ...what I've been through.
43:10 We have to be patient.
43:12 Never give up.
43:13 That's right.
43:14 Believing in yourself is important.
43:15 And...
43:16 ...always believe in the people around us...
43:21 ...who truly love us.
43:22 And ask for their advice.
43:25 And keep on striving.
43:26 Never feel like...
43:28 ...we're not worth it...
43:30 ...to do what we want to do.
43:32 Because...
43:33 ...anyone can do anything they want.
43:36 And...
43:36 ...that dream...
43:38 ...is free.
43:41 That dream is big.
43:42 And to chase that dream...
43:44 ...we have to rise...
43:46 ...and wake up with a reality that...
43:48 ...people say is harsh.
43:50 But it's going to be beautiful.
43:51 The result is when you reach that destination...
43:54 ...believe me, trust me...
43:56 ...the feeling is...
43:56 It's beautiful.
43:57 ...the feeling is...
43:58 ...the best, bro.
43:58 It's beautiful.
43:59 Yes.
43:59 Keep on doing it.
44:00 Keep on striving.
44:01 Once again, thank you, Amir.
44:03 Thank you, bro.
44:03 And to all our listeners and viewers...
44:06 ...for watching this podcast...
44:07 ...Confession Bilik Kelab.
44:08 God willing, we'll meet again...
44:09 God willing.
44:10 ...in the next episode.
44:11 Amen.
44:11 Peace be upon you.
44:12 And to everyone...
44:13 ...keep on supporting Abang Sudir...
44:14 ...and Confession Bilik Kelab.
44:16 Thank you, Amir.
44:16 I'm Amir Masni.
44:17 Okay, bro. Thank you, bro.
44:18 Sorry, Amir.
44:21 For the questions.
44:22 Eh, okay, okay.
44:23 No worries. Okay, okay.
44:24 [Music]