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AmusantTranscription
00:00 [Music]
00:07 [Music]
00:14 [Music]
00:21 [Music]
00:28 [Music]
00:32 [Music]
00:39 [Music]
00:46 Now kick up your leg Bobby, arch your back, whip your forearm and snap your wrist.
00:52 [Music]
00:57 Uh Bobby, you better let me throw that last one. This man here is trying to run a business.
01:04 [Music]
01:08 Now ping pong balls are tricky. Don't grip it hard, it requires finesse.
01:15 Bobby, what's in your mouth?
01:17 Look dad, I'm the commish.
01:20 [Music]
01:24 It's okay to line up the sides Bobby, it's not cheating.
01:28 [Music]
01:34 I got it.
01:36 Phew, lucky shot Bobby, that's great. Now this time you might want to...
01:41 [Music]
01:44 Bobby, way to kill ducks.
01:47 [Music]
01:49 Then another duck came up and he killed that one.
01:52 And then I killed another one too.
01:54 Yep, that's right. He must have killed a thousand ducks.
01:59 A thousand ducks? Well that is wonderful. Did you kill anybody?
02:04 [Music]
02:06 The boy shows a real talent for shooting Peggy, this could be his sport. We should get him a rifle and...
02:13 Bobby is too young to own a rifle, it is too dangerous.
02:16 He's twelve, he hasn't been too young for five years.
02:21 Uh-uh, no, it is just not age appropriate. It would be like giving boggle to an eight year old, even though the box says that's okay.
02:30 But I never get to bond with Bobby on account of he's not good at much.
02:35 Shooting stuff is something a father and son can do together.
02:40 I don't want to wait till the cat's in the cradle and Bobby's too busy with a propane business of his own.
02:47 Now Hank, you are making me tear up.
02:52 [Music]
02:56 Uh, where's the children's gun section?
03:00 Aisle 47.
03:02 Can I keep my new gun in my room?
03:05 Sure.
03:06 Can I keep the bullets in my pocket?
03:08 If you want.
03:09 Can I put a gun rack on my bike?
03:12 Do you know how long I've been waiting for you to ask me that?
03:23 I have a good feeling about this one.
03:26 Ooh, I love this rifle.
03:29 You know Bobby, that Marlin is a lot like the first .22 my dad gave me.
03:34 It's also like the one he started with himself as a boy.
03:38 Kind of a Hill tradition.
03:45 Wow, I always thought this was a crack house.
03:50 So then Ray walks in with the same snow camouflage bib overalls that he knew I planned to wear that same hunt.
03:58 Well, well, well.
04:00 Hank Hill, you finally decided to join our club.
04:04 I'm not joining. I just want to know if I can use the range, Dale.
04:09 There's a $2 charge for non-members to shoot here.
04:12 What's membership cost?
04:14 Lifetime membership is free.
04:22 I'll just pay the two bucks.
04:26 Hank's jacket is so Desert Storm.
04:30 The safety is underneath by the firing pin.
04:33 I hope you're listening because I'm not repeating this.
04:40 Now, Bobby, you've got to take it slow.
04:43 Oh, my God.
04:45 Boy can shoot.
04:47 Hell yeah, he's my boy.
04:49 What you've done here is very good.
04:52 I'm a little upset with the grouping.
04:55 You fellas enter in the tournament at the county club?
04:57 Because if you are, maybe I'll save myself the entry fee.
05:01 What tournament?
05:02 Father, Son, Fun Shoot.
05:04 It's sponsored by the Arlen Endowment for the Arts.
05:07 Save your money, mister. We're in.
05:09 All right.
05:11 All this being father and son is finally going to pay off.
05:15 Hey, Bobby, go inside and get a couple of bags of bullets.
05:20 I forget the last time I shot a .22, but I'll bet you there was a Texan in the White House.
05:26 And I ain't talking about Herbert Walker Bush either.
05:34 What are you waiting for, boy?
05:36 Pull the trigger. Make some noise.
05:43 You're never going to be a war hero like me if you shoot like that.
05:47 No wonder that kid from the playground stole your pill.
05:51 He knows you can't shoot.
05:53 I want my binky back.
05:55 You want your binky back?
05:58 You gotta come in firing.
06:00 Now, try again.
06:03 [GUNSHOTS]
06:29 That's a nice gun.
06:31 Yep.
06:33 That's a cool gun.
06:35 Uh-huh.
06:36 Well, it is so nice to see the two of you really talking.
06:41 This gun's very nice.
06:43 They're all nice guns, and all guns are nice.
06:47 So, how'd shooting go yesterday?
06:49 Great. I hit the center every time.
06:52 Well, that's terrific, honey.
06:54 In no time at all, you'll be better than your father.
06:57 Now, what's that supposed to mean?
06:59 I can't see him hold down a job and be so good.
07:03 Hey, look at these father and son ponchos.
07:06 They zip together.
07:08 Dad, can we get them for the tournament?
07:10 Look, Bobby, before we start buying a lot of paraphernalia and accessories and whatnot,
07:17 let's make sure we're not getting into another tap lesson situation here.
07:22 Why don't we get you into one of those safety courses?
07:25 If you're still interested after they've taken all the fun out of it,
07:28 then we'll see about the ponchos and the, uh, tournament.
07:34 I didn't know it was loaded is not an acceptable excuse.
07:40 I wasn't there, or I never met those people are better excuses.
07:46 When I was your age, I used to get so excited about hitting the target,
07:52 I'd run right out onto the range.
07:55 That's how I lost this thumb, and later, this eye.
08:00 If it weren't for the NRA safety guidelines I eventually accepted,
08:05 I'd be a stub standing here before you.
08:11 Okay, so I discharge the magazine first.
08:15 No, first I put the safety--
08:17 Son, you just put six shots dead center.
08:19 I know. So do I lay the magazine?
08:22 Hey, look at this. Look at this, everybody!
08:27 You see, it's just I'm too busy for a competition.
08:31 We're coming up on the new propane season,
08:34 plus next week I was going to check into buying Hectorland's motorcycle.
08:39 But you said if I was still interested, and I'm still interested.
08:44 Hank, you love guns, Bobby loves guns, carpe diem!
08:53 Why do we have to practice so early?
08:56 I want you to get used to the pressure of shooting when no one's watching.
09:06 What's wrong with you? Why don't you steady yourself?
09:10 Uh, this is a training exercise.
09:13 Here's one eye. How can you hit anything the way you're holding it?
09:17 Don't grip the barrel so hard. It requires finesse.
09:21 Someday soon, all of you will be drafted into war.
09:27 Some of you, like Hank, will be killed.
09:31 Others can shoot and may become war heroes.
09:34 Now, commence to firing!
09:44 Uh, something's wrong with my rifle. I can't shoot today.
09:48 Let me see it.
09:49 No.
09:50 Come on, I bet I can fix it.
09:53 You can't fix it. It's in the shaft.
09:57 There's no shaft on a gun.
10:11 It's tough shooting out there today.
10:14 Yeah, I mean, keeping the gun steady can take a lot out of a man.
10:19 Do you mind? I'm trying to sit here.
10:22 Maybe I can help you. I'm a sports psychologist.
10:26 I worked with the Cowboys.
10:28 When?
10:29 Last season.
10:30 Goodbye.
10:31 Okay, but consider this.
10:34 Research has shown that athletic performance is 10% physical and 100% mental.
10:40 That adds up to 110%.
10:43 Breakthrough!
10:44 Do you just hang out here all day waiting for someone to miss a lot?
10:49 Oh, just in the mornings when the lousy shots arrive.
10:52 In the afternoons, I go to the bowling alley.
10:54 Losers are very predictable.
10:56 Here's my card.
10:58 You're going to tear it up.
11:06 Well, what about practicing for the tournament after school?
11:10 No, I'd have to come here to get you and then go back across town to the range.
11:16 That could eat up ten minutes.
11:19 What about shooting after dinner?
11:21 No, no, you don't want to exercise on a full stomach.
11:25 Well, maybe I could take the guns to school and we could squeeze off a few rounds between classes.
11:31 You shouldn't take guns to school with you. They're dangerous.
11:35 Guns are dangerous?
11:37 What?
11:39 Oh, brother.
11:42 Bobby, go on and clean the guns. I'll be in there in a minute.
11:47 What's this about guns being dangerous?
11:51 Well, that's right. They kill people.
11:54 Guns don't kill people. The government does.
11:57 Oh, Hank, guns have been around for years.
12:00 If they were dangerous, I'd just think someone would have said something.
12:04 Most deaths in the home are from guns and gun accessories.
12:09 Let me ask you this.
12:11 A guy breaks into your house, but you don't have a gun.
12:15 How are you going to shoot him?
12:18 Dale, that's right out of the NRA magazine August issue.
12:22 I tell you what, man, that dang old NRA was all right, man.
12:25 The insurance you get with dismemberment and all that, you get like $20,000 just for your arm blows off, man.
12:31 I can't believe you guys.
12:34 Dale, the NRA is a Washington, D.C.-based organization.
12:39 Are you telling me you support Washington, D.C.?
12:44 That's a thinker.
12:48 I'm a little confused here.
12:50 How are you going to win that shooting contest without a rifle?
12:54 Haven't you been listening to me?
12:57 I'm not going to shoot in any contest.
13:01 Sorry, Bobby.
13:13 Bobby, honey, you've been sleeping in that vest for two weeks.
13:16 What's wrong?
13:18 I think I messed up.
13:20 I made Dad not like guns anymore.
13:23 Oh, son, that can't be true.
13:25 Your father's love for guns is unconditional.
13:28 Then why doesn't he want to shoot with me in the tournament?
13:31 Is he afraid I'm going to embarrass him?
13:34 Well, it must be because he loves guns.
13:42 What has got into you?
13:44 You were right. Bobby is too young to own a gun.
13:47 No, I was wrong.
13:49 Guns are keeping this family together.
13:51 And Bobby's really good.
13:53 He won't let you down at the fun shoot.
13:56 Uh, that's not why I'm dropping out.
13:59 Well, then what is the reason?
14:04 Peggy, I can't shoot.
14:06 What?
14:07 I can't.
14:08 My aim is terrible. I can barely keep the gun steady.
14:13 I still love you.
14:21 Yeah, but will the rest of the town be so forgiving?
14:24 It's a risk you have to take, Hank.
14:27 Bobby's finally found something he's really great at.
14:30 Do not rip that away from him. It is not fair.
14:34 Life's not fair. That's a good lesson for the boy.
14:38 What if they had never let you play football, huh?
14:41 You'd still have that little bone in your ankle, but you would not have any of the memories.
14:47 Uh, go get your clothes out of the trash.
15:00 We'll need them for the contest.
15:02 You mean it, Dad? You'll shoot with me?
15:06 Yeah! On your team, we have to win!
15:09 You never lost anything in your life.
15:11 Well, Bobby, you can't always expect to win.
15:16 No, Dad. I promise I won't choke.
15:20 Sometimes people choke, Bobby.
15:22 We just gotta be proud that God took the time to give us a fault.
15:27 That's loser talk. You taught me that.
15:30 No hill's ever been a loser.
15:32 We fought for Texas at the Alamo.
15:35 We're gonna get a trophy!
15:38 Oh.
15:40 All right, here's the deal.
15:48 I don't believe in that gobbledygook about a subconscious or any other witchcraft.
15:54 I won't take pills. I won't let you hypnotize or molest me.
15:59 I can help you without using witchcraft, pills, and molestation, but it won't be easy.
16:05 Visualization is probably the only legitimate part of what people like myself practice.
16:10 Imagine the dart flying from your gun to the target.
16:15 Don't pull the trigger until you can see it.
16:20 Hey! Shake it!
16:22 Close the other eye or I'll poke it out!
16:27 Whenever I start to shoot, even aim, I remember me as a boy, my dad behind me yelling, and I always let him down.
16:40 I was so scared of--
16:42 Hank, please, you're wasting valuable session time.
16:45 Now, it's important for you to stay relaxed.
16:49 Why don't you imagine something gentle? Say, say, a butterfly taking the dart and flying it to the target.
16:56 I am not imagining a butterfly.
16:59 All right, how about a hummingbird?
17:01 How about a McDonnell Douglas L-1011 widebody?
17:06 Good! Now, let's do better.
17:15 We add audio to the visualization to achieve complete focus.
17:20 As you imagine the plane, say out loud, "To the end of the rainbow!"
17:25 I'm not saying--
17:26 Oh, say whatever you want.
17:28 Prepare for top speed.
17:31 Woo!
17:34 Welcome, everyone. Welcome, shooters.
17:40 Here are some last year's winners, John and Mike McKay.
17:45 My fingers are crossed for you.
17:48 The format for today is the same as last year.
17:52 Start with the tandem shoot.
17:55 Then the quick draw.
17:57 Followed by the pretend to be sleeping, grab the loaded gun under the bed, and shoot a figure in the shadows.
18:05 And to our favorite event, the all new and expanded simulated hunting experience that we like to call the gauntlet.
18:13 And finally, just in case some of the dads have been doing all the work, the independent long-range accuracy shooting.
18:25 Come on, Dad. Let's go bag us a trophy.
18:29 And have fun.
18:34 This here's the tandem shoot. Take your first shot.
18:37 [Sigh]
18:38 Prepare for top speed.
18:41 One hit.
18:48 That wasn't a practice round.
18:50 Uh, okay. I just gotta make a little adjustment here.
18:54 You ready for your second shot?
18:56 Hey, Hank! Over here!
19:01 Uh, something, something rainbow.
19:05 Going to the rainbow.
19:08 Hey, good job!
19:12 Over the rainbow.
19:20 I guess I'm falling into my groove.
19:28 [Chuckle]
19:29 To the end of the yellow brick road.
19:44 How about a little fire, scarecrow?
19:51 Oh!
19:55 Two point deduction.
19:58 Well, look at that. We're in second place.
20:18 Good news! The McCays just came out of the gauntlet and the younger one blew away an entire picnicking family.
20:25 That means we're tied for first.
20:28 Sorry I'm late. I had to stop by the wax museum again and get the finger of the FDR.
20:35 Grandpa, you came!
20:37 I'm always here to support my buddy. I'll give you a shoulder to cry on. You'll need one, won't he, Hank?
20:44 As a matter of fact, we're tied for first.
20:47 All we have left is the accuracy round.
20:50 Accuracy? Better hope that target's the side of the barn.
20:54 Come on, Bobby.
20:56 Remember, son, we're just here to do our best.
21:08 That's 'cause we are the best, Dad.
21:12 (Birds chirping)
21:15 (Gunshot)
21:19 That's my grandson! And his father!
21:24 Dad, if he misses, we win.
21:30 No, Bobby, we don't want to win that way.
21:34 (Gunshot)
21:35 Damn.
21:37 Come on, Hank. I got money riding on this shot.
21:41 On the McCays.
21:43 Okay, Hank, it's time for takeoff.
21:53 You know what to do, not just for you, but for Bobby.
21:56 So focus, stop talking to yourself, and do it.
22:01 You're still talking.
22:04 Are you here to talk or are you here to shoot?
22:08 I'm here to shoot. End of discussion.
22:12 Let's do it.
22:20 (Gunshot)
22:22 Miss.
22:24 And the McCays win again!
22:27 (Applause)
22:31 (Footsteps)
22:34 Ah, where's Bobby?
22:43 (Sigh)
22:45 We did it, Dad! Second place in a real father-son tournament!
22:51 Can I put it on my wall? We were so good out there.
22:54 We should always be shooting. This is the best day ever.
22:58 You're the best dad ever. I'm the best son ever.
23:01 Can we do it again next year?
23:05 Uh, heh. Heh, yeah.
23:09 Yeah, we can do it again, if that's what you want.
23:14 Hey, kid.
23:18 I feel like ice cream.
23:25 That sounds good. Uh, where'd we park?
23:30 That way.
23:32 We forgot Mom.
23:41 Oh. Well, let's go get her.
23:53 (Music)
23:57 (Music ends)
24:00 (Music)
24:04 (Music)
24:08 (Music)
24:34 I want my binky back!