YIvis- Holmen Ep 1 (English subs)
First episode of YIvis' new program. English subs by Esther
Transcript
00:00Hi, is it you who are already here, so nice. Welcome to the islet, then. Here we will spend the next 10 weeks together
00:08It’s Calle, Magnus and Bård and me, and lot least you at home
00:13I’ve been looking very much forward to this
00:16Now I have just finished writing the text for the islet song, which is a song that we always sing when we come out here to the islet
00:22And it’s like that: The other guys know the chorus, they know the melody, but they don’t know the text of the verse
00:29Because they’ll be handed that in the moment in which they must sing it. It’s a bit exciting
00:33Here on the islet we’ll switch the show host and today is my show and that means that the others, they don’t know anything about what will happen
00:41They don’t know what we’ll do, they don’t even know what we’ll talk about
00:44They are on their way across the fjord in a small wooden boat right now. And I thought it would be nice to meet them with a nice and refreshing welcome drink
00:52That’s why I prepared a classic, Pina “flyndrada”. It’s a classic with coco milk, a bit of pineapple juice
01:00A tiny bit of rum and then there’s a pureed plaice in there. And then… oh
01:07I think I hear the wooden boat. Shall we look? Is it them arriving now? Yes, yes, yes
01:14Come on, then
01:57Sing hi, hi, hi
02:02Get in the boat and bring a friend
02:07Sing hi, hi, hi
02:09Cast off and join us on the islet tonight
02:17Now I want to say that I love my brother
02:21Highest of all that I love on earth
02:25Vegard, you Vegard, you’re brilliant, you turned out fantastic and I became normal
02:32Sing hi, hi, hi
02:37Get in the boat and bring a friend
02:41Sing hi, hi, hi
02:45Cast off and join us on the islet tonight
03:00Thank you very, very much
03:03It’s fantastically nice to see you here, boys – Yes, it’s nice – Welcome to the islet – Thanks – Thanks
03:10Welcome to you at home. It’s totally normal to say welcome to the islet to you, because we meet here often
03:16We’re here all the time – But now we have TV-cameras here, so I thought, we could in a way say cheers to this with this welcome beverage I’ve made
03:24Beverage, not drink? – Both – I feel the humour alarm going off already – No, it’s not humour alarm – Is I a meat shake?
03:30What? Meat shake? No, I think we should say cheers to this show now and it’s called buttoms up
03:38Look at his jaw! – I don’t have a jaw – It’s 3 brown ones and one green one – What?
03:44It’s 3 brown and 1 green – No, that only had to do with the time which passed since I made them
03:48Okay, try it – It’s allowed to take out the pineapple, like we use to say on the islet. 3,2,1. Cheers!
04:00We don’t necessarily need to… the most important thing is that... what? – Is there pineapple in it? – Yes, that’s completely correct
04:11What did we drink now, boys? – Are we in the maritime region? Did we drink fish now, or what?
04:18You’re onto something – Do you think that fun to watch? – I hope it’s fun to watch
04:24So, which beverage is that? It’s a classic. It’s a classic – Pina colada? – Yes, you’re onto something
04:31I have drunk a pina colada, I can say, but I ran out of one ingredient
04:36Mackerel in tomato sauce? – No, not mackerel in tomato sauce. Nothing like this…
04:42Tuna in tomato sauce? – Did you get sad, Calle? – Yes, I had to cry a little bit
04:46Are you a bit funny, so maybe instead of pina, you used something different? – You’re onto something
04:52Tuna colada? – No, dogfish colada? – No, it’s not that funny. It’s a classic
04:57It’s of course the maritime classic, pina flyndrada
05:07Yes, because the taste was a bit flat – It was flat, yes
05:10For me, this is about being on the islet here and sharing experiences
05:17Sharing good food and good drinks. We have done that, and we’ll actually coook some more food together later today
05:24But, first we will… - Have we saif earlier that we have no idea what’s going to happen? – Yes, we’ve said that in the intro
05:33You weren’t here for that, it was before the boat docked. So, I fixed that. Don’t interfere with this show, Bård
05:40But before we cook, I think we should focus on a good conversation a little bit more
05:46So, you grew up in Africa, how was that? – No, of course it does something to you, but at the same time I can’t…
05:53Creating good and safe frameworks around the difficult questions which need to be asked
05:58Is something that I’ve been maniacally concerned with ever since I was born
06:03And we can all get lost on life’s highway, it’s totally normal and celebrities are no exception
06:09In my new segment ‘Close with Vegard’ I have invited several Norwegian celebrities
06:14To open up about hurtful and painful things
06:19I have interviewed my good friend Maria Mena and thanks to the good and safe frameworks I created in that interview
06:28She opened up and was
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undefined:undefinedwith traumas from before, so it’s very deep
08:03And we can just as well, first, and last, reveal who that was, since you said you’re willing to say it
08:11Who was it that did this to you? – His name is…
08:22Yes, that’s sensational. And he’s still working, he still has his shows
08:27He’s still allowed to continue and I’m a bit shocked because I know that I’m not the only one
08:33Those are really strong stories. We’re happy that you wanted to share them with us
08:39You summarise and sing really
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undefined:undefinedyour brothers Chino, Panino and Tom Valente
10:43Chino? – My name’s Tom Stiansen – I’ll be Panini?
10:47Okay, then I think it’s time for the brothers’ Valente’s ravioli-school
10:58In the brothers’ Valente’s ravioli-school, the rules are pretty simple: You will make ravioli
11:04Gino will start here and of course, since this is on TV, we’ll explain the whole time what we’re doing
11:10And when I ring this bell, the brother needs to be switched. The ravioli are supposed to be done and ready for cooking in 3 minutes
11:17That’s normal – A normal time? That’s sounds really good, then we’ll get going. There you go, Gino
11:23What’s very important is that you need flour, otherwise it sticks
11:28And here you have a normal pasta dough? – It’s egg pasta. It’s with egg
11:37And now you flatten it? – And now it has to be rolled out
11:41And how thick is it supposed to be? It’s supposed to be very thin
11:46Now you have to go, I rang. Now it’s the next brother’s turn
11:51It’s supposed to be between 2 and 3 millimetres – Between 2 and 3 millimetres?
11:55It can be difficult – And who was it that taught you this recipe? – It was father Dino
12:00Father Dino? – Yes – Which technique is it you’re using there? – I’m using the circle technique. Roll around and… - Okay
12:09After that, you take the
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undefined:undefinedon here, so it’s on top
12:43And now you have… - And then we press a bit with the fork to get the squares that they’re known for, coming from Italy
12:54So, here, now you have a little ‘kudde’ – Okay, this is an Italian kudde, what does kudde mean?
13:00Kudde is what you put lay head on – Okay, then we just continue like this. And now we continue here
13:08Yes, Gino – Mama mia, I say – Now
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undefined:undefinedhints to someone who has to arrange a date
14:22Hi again. You’re invited to a date, but you’re afraid that you’re in over your head?
14:27Will he or she like the food, did you manage to create a cosy atmosphere?
14:31Don’t be afraid, because we’ll show
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undefined:undefinedhumour. But it wasn’t really fun – Why?
18:47I gave it a try there – You did? – Yes – Is that true – Yes
18:51Did you appear on TV? – I didn’t appear on TV - No, how cool
18:55But now you’re sitting here – Then I got my chance at TVNorge a few years later and I’m very happy for that -A lot better – But what’s embarrassing is that academics, those people who are supposed to know humour
19:03They were supposed to talk theoretically about what is good, and that wasn’t…It’s just about making people laugh or not
19:08It’s easy as that, can you manage to make people laugh or not? And therefore, we thought it was about time to create a humour talent show
19:16And so, the search for a judge for this show and we had to find someone who laughs a lot
19:22Who laughs funny and who laughs in a nice and in a contagious way
19:26And we had an audition, there was one who stood out a tiny, little bit – A weensy little bit
19:31He stood out and we chose politician and actor
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undefined:undefinedclass. It really stuck, right Magnus?
27:29Was I there for that? – Yes, you were there, I remember it very well. I thought we could
27:34Refresh our memory a little bit, so I have got a hold of some accordions, Kim did it. Kim, can we get the accordions in, so I thought we could play it
27:43It was ‘duelling banjos’ by Deliverance we played every day in the class
27:48Look here, you know - Yes, that class? – That class, yes
27:53So, I thought we could play it for old time’s sake – Duelling banjos you said?
27:59What… don’t you remember that? – Yes, yes. But which one of those? – The normal version
28:05What do we play them in? – We play it in C-dur, don’t we. Yes, there you have it
28:12Get going Heine, just like you always did
28:23Bård?
28:28And Calle
28:58Now we take a little break, but in a moment, we’ll be back
29:03Then we’ll show the premiere of our brand-new reality show ‘the farm’, see you
29:25Yes, we’re on, we’re on. Welcome back
29:28Now we’ll continue with a segment that we’re looking forward to very much, boys. Wouldn’t you agree? – Yes – Do you know what I’m talking about?
29:36We’re going to launch a brand-new reality show ‘the farm’ – Yes
29:41And that’s the apple of your eye, Magnus – That’s true – So, maybe can you tell us a bit what we’ll see?
29:47I can very well do that, Bård. The farm is a reality show, the first Norwegian reality show taking place on a farm
29:55Or ‘gard’, as it was called in the old days – Yes
29:58And a bunch of Norwegian celebrities got the chance to live like they did in earlier times
30:04Okay – And you know that better than I do,
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undefined:undefinedthat there’ll be some tasks which also will challenge me
33:21Yes, surely on a lot of different levels
33:23Welcome to the first task – Thank you
33:26Bøtta farm is a farm with traditions reaching back far in time
33:29And just like all the other farms, also Bøtta farm has its own coat of arms. And it looks like this:
33:36It has mountains, fish, trees, and a bucket. Totally normal. But unfortunately, this coat of arms has broken into two
33:46Unfortunately, this coat of arms has gotten a crack
33:53Here we go. So, you have to make a new coat of arms
33:57and what you have to use is nature’s own brown paint
34:01namely excrements from animals
34:09Then you can just get going
34:12To get a leader duty is two-sided for me
34:15I like it, but at the same time I know that I can’t totally commit to the task because I can become a bit cruel
34:22We have 2 choices: Either forming these drawings
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undefined:undefinedmilk and honey they’re living today
36:37After long days in the thistle fields, the peasants’ feet were sore, hurting and full of liquid that leaked from them
36:46The only thing that got them through the days was the ice-cold feet bath they took in the evenings with a newspaper
36:52So the water could make the hurting feet feel better. You will now be distributed your foot bath each
36:59So you can relax after a long day
37:01And the one who manages to relax the longest, wins
37:05You look nervous, Vegard, did you get cold feet already? – No, I see where this is going
37:11So, the 1st competition on the farm is called ‘feet in the buckets’
37:16The peasants have each received their buckets with ice water and the ones who lasts longest in keeping their feet in the buckets, wins
37:23There you go. Put the feet into the buckets
37:34Remember that the golden bucket is waiting for the one who wins
37:40It can be very handy having it in the finale – That’s not fun!
37:46One minute has passed
37:52Fuck, I can’t stand this – Aleksander is out
37:57Right before we started, Calle said that he had his feet in ice-cold water before
38:02And his blood pressure dropped and he felt like he would faint. And I thought I definitely won’t faint now
38:08So I took the feet out early – I said right before the competition that there’s the risk of drop in blood pressure and I saw that he got scared
38:16So I think he panicked a bit, plain and simple, and gave up way before he had to
38:23Siri is up
38:285 minutes
38:34No, no
38:36Now, we have 4 left
38:40Oh god – Yes, you’re starting to get cold now, Svein? -This is sick, this right here
38:46Yes, it’s getting difficult now, Calle? – No, thank you
38:54Now, there’s only 2 left. Svein and Vegard
38:59Svein? – Yes – You’re not going to win this competition – Don’t you think? – No -Why not? -I’m just being realistic. You’re not going to get this one
39:08Yes, this is a reality moment here right now
39:16Are you out, Svein? – Yes, yes, I lost
39:19Svein is out, and that means, Vegard, you won ‘feet in the buckets’
39:25I told you you weren’t going to win – Vegard, you have gotten your very first golden bucket here on the farm -Thank you – Congratulations
39:33Vegard is… I’ve understood that he is difficult to beat in competitions. He’s someone who wins a lot
39:39He can do so many things. And I’m not surprised that it was him sitting there in the end -It’s nice to have a golden bucket. I’ve never been so happy about a golden bucket before in my life
39:48Vegard has won the 1st competition and by this won the farms very first golden bucket
40:00On the next episode of the farm:
40:03So, my strategy was to get as little dung on my fingers as possible
40:06And to represent the artistic part of the court of arms a bit more – She was completely awful
40:11Everything we drew was a lot better than what she drew – Fuck
40:19Yes, welcome back to the islet again and welcome to the living room, Gino
40:24We have been served the ravioli all the brothers Valente made
40:29Could the food be saved? – You were all fantastically good – Yes, they were fantastic
40:35Should we taste it a bit, maybe? – There’s no flatfish in there? – No, no – Those are with truffle
40:41That tastes totally fantastic. That was unfortunately everything we had time for here today
40:48And thanks to you, Gino, that you dropped by on the islet, we’ll talk next week
40:54And what do you say in Italian when you say ‘see you again’ to your friends?
40:58Alla prossima
41:01We join in on that, brothers Valente, alla prossima