YIvis Holmen Ep4 (English subs)
Subs by Esther
Transcript
00:14The Turkish Bağlama (saz)
00:17The first, but far from the last musical input we will have in today’s show, today it’s me who is the host
00:25And it’s going to be the best show thus far. I’m 50% sure of that
00:30Bård, Vegard and Magnus, they know, as usual, nothing about what is going to happen and that’s good
00:35Because today they’ll be allowed to try out genres of comedy they normally don’t do
00:40They’ll create their very own revue characters and do a musical imitation each
00:47So, that can be kind of fun
00:52Yes, now I hear that damn boat near the pier, so we’ll just get going
01:36Sing hi, hi, hi
01:40Get in the boat and bring a friend
01:44Sing hi, hi, hi
01:48Cast off and join us on the islet tonight
01:55Yes, welcome to my show.
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undefined:undefinedpeople I know, Bård, Vegard and Magnus
04:08For those of you who don’t know, Bård, Magnus and Vegard are so-called comedians
04:14What you’re not very known for is to do this with different characters
04:20When I say characters, I mean personalities loved by the people which we’ve seen on stage and on TV through the years, such as the janitor, right?
04:28Or Oluf, Gundersen,
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undefined:undefinedstory, a strong experience
05:06In order for then to be a guest on my talk show ‘the tough story’. I don’t know anything about what you’ve prepared
05:14And you neither know anything about what the others… - I’m looking forward to that – Prepared. So, this can turn out pretty strong
05:20You can now go and get ready for that. Get out – Thanks
05:27Yes, they deserve a little self-confidence applause. While the comedy-trio, two boys and a tall one,
05:35Are transforming themselves into
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undefined:undefinedThere you go
07:41Cantaloup-Melon, dragon fruit, apple, cherry
07:47 Dragon fruit -Correct answer: Cantaloup – Get ready for your punishment. Ole Martin
08:14And the next participant is Vegard
08:19Which of these fruit was the flavour of ‘Love soda’ which was released in Norway in the early 1970’s?
08:27Physalis, passionfruit, kiwi, pineapple – No, no, no…love...
08:31I answer passionfruit – Congratulations
08:37The next participant is Magnus
08:43Hi, Magnus – Hi – Are you ready? – Yes
08:47Which of those was called ‘the orange of the North’ during the war?
08:52You have 5 seconds to answer starting now – Rutabaga, apple, orange, pumpkin
08:58Cabbage turnip, rutabaga – Cabbage turnip or rutabaga, quick – Cabbage turnip, cabbage turnip
09:06The answer is actually wrong, it’s a rutabaga
09:11But it’s the same – It’s the same – It’s not the same – It’s the same
09:16Ole Martin, get ready – No, it’s the same! – Yes, it’s the same – It’s the same
09:22Yes, Noman has decided – Noman?? – I’m the boss, I’m the boss – No, no, no
09:34No, no, no. It’s the same!
09:47Rutabaga is rutabaga and cabbage turnip is cabbage turnip – Idiot
09:58Life is an emotional rollercoaster, often with more downs than ups
10:03Tonight we’ll meet 3 persons who all have a strong and unique story
10:09What are these stories? I have no idea. They don’t know anything about each other
10:14But they have one thing in common: Something tough to tell. Welcome to ‘the tough story’
10:31Welcome. Yes, everything I know about tonight’s first guest, that is…
10:42That he is Northern-Norway’s blindest fisherman
10:46Welcome Hilmar Snekvik
11:00Hilmar, here. Hilmar, here. Up here
11:06Nice to meet you – Yes, nice to meet you, too. You can sit down here
11:12You can sit right down now -Okay, that’s nice
11:16Hilmar Snekvik, all the way from Northern Norway. Welcome – Thank you very much -Who are you? Tell us a bit about yourself
11:24Yes, my name is, as said before, Hilmar Snkevik
11:27I’m originally from Alta, but I thought it was too cold in Alta,
11:33So, I moved down south and now I live on Værøy
11:36But behind this nice and affable face, a tough experience is hidden
11:41What is it you have for us today?
11:45I’m outside and always fishing.
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undefined:undefinedI sit here? – You’ll sit here just fine
14:10And you, Chicago, can sit down here – Thanks. Are we live at once? Are we rolling?
14:18We’re rolling, yes – There’s a light on the camera, so we’re live. I’ll stop talking
14:24No, now you’re supposed to talk – Now I’ll talk? My name is Chicago Bø
14:29Because that’s your name, Chicago Bø, yes? – My name is Chicago Bø, yes
14:34My father’s from the US, my mother’s from Sommarland – Oh, right, that’s why…
14:40So, your father is…So, it is…- Named after both of them – I get that
14:45Your father was from Chicago? – From Detroit – Detroit, yes
14:50I’m just curious what you have for us tonight
14:54I don’t know if you can see it, but I like to travel- Yes, you have a…
15:00I like travelling – Yes – I travel
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undefined:undefined(Environment, health and safety), PMS and SMS
17:06I will take some easy measures, and then I’ll be
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undefined:undefinedmessage, but a lot of tough stories I have, of course
18:02I remember I was driving and a car was laying on its roof and I went there and looked inside
18:07Because there was a man sitting there, stuck between the wheel and the car seat
18:11And the distance wasn’t good. So, I stuck my head in, I wanted to help the guy, right, and pull him out
18:16But right when I reach for him to get him out, I drive my knife into his chest
18:23And the guy dies and that’s not cool, so I’m sorry of course and call the police
18:30And the chief of police arrives at the scene
18:33And I show my hands because I’m standing there with the knife, it’s not difficult to put two and two together
18:39And I apologise wholeheartedly and say, unfortunately an accident happened here. And I’m standing there with the knife in my hand
18:45And the chief of police walks over and looks and says, right:
18:49Is it you who did this? And I say yes, but I’m not violent in general and then I stick my knife into the chief of police, too
18:57And I don’t understand what’s happening because I’m not a violent guy in general, my focus is on safety
19:03But the knife goes right into him and the guy dies right there, but I’m sorry – Do you maybe think…
19:09But it’s a really tough story – Yes…
19:12That there are bodies scattered around and it’s me who killed them, the safety inspector
19:17Yes, we’ll… be so kind to remain seated, Jan Roger
19:22People, Jan Roger, Hilmar and Chicago, thank you for showing up here with your stories
19:30We will, as usual, finish with a musical number, and I’ve heard
19:36That you’ll release a single, together with Åse Kleveland herself
19:46Isn’t that true? – Yes, that’s true. It’s something we’ve been planning for ages
19:51Right since we met each other for the first time
19:56Ladies and Gentlemen, Åse Kleveland
20:07Which song will you be singing for us tonight?
20:11Our single will be Norway’s 2nd national anthem
20:16And it’s called: You will have a day tomorrow (Original title: “Du skal få en dag i mårå”)
20:22That will be beautiful. The stage is yours, boys, get over there with Åse
20:32Here is Alf Prøysen’s Du skal få en dag i mårå
20:39There was this little boy which was so angry and so sad
20:44He wanted to draw Babylon. But his teacher said no
20:50He destroyed the whole paper, he was confused and stupid
20:56 But then he heard the whisper in the pine crown
21:07You will have a day tomorrow which will stand clean and unused
21:13With blank pages and crayons, now I’m receiving some signals here
21:18And then you can correct all your mistakes from yesterday
21:24And then you’ll feel so good tomorrow night
21:28And if you don’t manage it and everything is just as awful
21:35Then you’ll hear the pinecone whisper the same song like last time
21:43You’ll have a day tomorrow which will stand clean and unused
21:57Here I have a shoe – Oh – This shoe belongs to the guest
22:02Because now it’ll be about another form of comedy you practice seldomly, namely imitation
22:08Tonight’s guest is none other than comedian, great guy and super-imitator Gustav Nilsen
22:27Sit down – Thank you – Here is your shoe back – Thank you
22:31I’ve invited you here to the islet because I think you’re Norway’s best imitator, especially of musicians – Thank you
22:39Imitation and parodies, yes, that’s
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undefined:undefinedSee you – That was good
31:14Welcome back to the Calle-islet, we’ll now take a closer look at you farm again, Magnus
31:23Is there something you’d like to say before we start rolling a new episode of this? – Tune in?
31:29Tune in? – Tune in - Nothing more than that? – No? – I can explain what it is if that’s…
31:34No, I think we know what it is already – Okay – Then you can look into that camera over there and you can say: Here comes a new episode of…
31:40Here comes a new episode of ‘the farm’
31:43On the last episode of the farm, janitor Tor Espen gave the peasants the task to build a scarecrow for Bøtta farm
31:51And a bird attractor for the neighbouring farm
31:56Tonight, Bård and Alexander have had sex for the first time and the mood is still good when they’re supposed to continue their task
32:02Aren’t you allergic to pollen? – No, I’m allergic to grass – Yes, only to grass
32:08Do you want this inside the thingy or is it supposed to be outside, we have to make a hole…
32:13We’ll make a hole into the ass here – It was fantastic to get to build a scarecrow with Aleksander
32:19And Svein, but Aleksander is special – Are you thinking of making a hole into the ass?
32:25Before Svein comes, so we can avoid those jokes
32:29I see potential for a new brother there, to replace Vegard, for a period of time at least, since Vegard is a lot of fuss
32:36You’re smarter than I thought – But what did you think at first? – I thought you were a complete idiot – Just like me
32:44Aleksander is a boy-bimbo, he is completely stupid, which is nice, because then you spare yourself Vegard’s mansplaining
32:51There’s not so much he can tell, he knows a lot about protein powder and stuff like that, but maybe not so much about other things
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undefined:undefinedbrothel – It’s a bird brothel
35:00– And a little water bath here,
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Bow and arrow
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Calle
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Siri
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