YIvis Holmen Ep3 (English subs)
Subs by Esther
Transcript
00:04Oh, hi! Today it’s me who will be the host on the islet, and it will be fun
00:10Because the others know nothing about what’s going to happen today
00:14We will taste ice cream, and we’ll find out who of Bård, Vegard and Calle is the biggest psychopath
00:21I’m nearly finished with decorating the summer tree. It’s good you came now because we’re only missing the crab which will hang on top of the tree
00:30Look! I think there’s a small wooden boat on the fjord. Come along!
01:15Sing hi, hi, hi
01:19Get in the boat and bring a friend
01:24Sing hi, hi, hi
01:27Cast off and join us on the islet tonight
01:32Stop! Thanks
01:34Today, one chorus is enough because right when you came across the fjord with your boat,
01:40I was busy decorating the summer tree. So, I
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undefined:undefinedknow what normal things cost
04:15I have a bag here with normal with goods of daily use. You received blackboards and chalk
04:21Which you’re supposed to write on, they should be standing next to your chairs
04:26Now it’s time to look at an item:
04:30Skimmed milk
04:32This is skimmed milk from cows. Very common to drink among most Norwegians
04:38It’s sold at Rema, Coop, Kiwi (Norwegian supermarkets). Normal stores. You have 10 seconds to guess starting now
04:45And you just drink that in a glass? – I never buy milk, I have a milk allergy. I know what oat milk costs
04:52Are you too good for skimmed milk? Too cheap?
04:57Now you can put your chalks away
05:00Yes, Vegard, what do you think it costs?
05:0317,50 kroner (1,90 $) – Okay, Bård? – 14,90 (1,60 $) – And you, Calle? – 14,90 – Bang, Chicago
05:10The one who is closest now is Vegard since it was 17,90
05:16Skimmed milk, 1 litre: 17,90 kroner (kr) (1,90 $)
05:21Now we have a Kneippbrød (a whole wheat bread)
05:27Totally common to be eaten by hundreds of thousands Norwegians every single day. What does a bread cost? 10 seconds
05:43Stop writing
05:45Vegard, what does a Kneipp-bread cost? – It costs 10 kr (1 $) – 10 kroner? Okay, Bård?
05:50That’s too expensive, 9,90 kr – 9,90 – Calle? – 21(2,30 $) – 21? – I don’t eat bread
05:56Are you allergic to bread as well? – Yes, gluten – Gluten, right – So, I have to buy bread for 50 kr ( 5,40 $) a piece
06:03The Kneipp-bread costs 7,90 kr (0,85 $) – That’s cheap
06:10We’ll continue with a video-task. We’ll watch a video now, be very attentive
06:22I would like half a litre beer
06:37I’m going to take the tram for one month.
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undefined:undefinedthe closet with you
15:13You should’ve done that a long time ago
15:29On the next episode of laughter king
15:45I sent Bård, Vegard and Calle outside, because now it’ll be about the possibly most summerly thing of all in the whole world
15:52Ice cream
15:54An ice is always nice on a piping hot summer day in October
15:59But during the summer you can get a bit too high food intake and I did something about that
16:06You have to combine 2 meals: Dessert and dinner
16:11So, now we’ll watch me make ice cream with dinner flavour, together with the ice cream chef Anders Abrahamsen
16:18We’re going to make a classic: Meat balls, brown sauce, mashed peas and lingonberry jam
16:25Nothing wrong with that – No
16:33Done
16:37Nice – Nice - Meat balls, brown sauce, mashed peas and lingonberry jam. Enjoy your meal
16:44We have a Rakfisk here (fish dish made from trout or char, salted and fermented), which will go into the ice
16:49Then I have red onions, beetroot and of course flatbread
16:59Look at that ice
17:02We’ll make a Swedish classic, Janson’s temptation
17:05It consists of creamed potatoes, onion, breadcrumbs, and anchovy
17:15Janson’s temptation, enjoy your meal
17:24Now we’ll se if the boys manage to find out which flavours are hidden in the ice creams
17:30Bård, Vegard and Calle? Bård, Vegard and Calle? Come in
17:40Come in. Bård you can stand there, Vegard here and Calle in front. That’s totally perfect
17:45Now you’ll each get to taste each your nice ice cream with dinner flavour
17:51I had the genius idea to combine dessert and dinner into one meal
17:56So, you have 4 ingredients in your ice creams, which normally belong to the dinner area
18:05You’ll have to guess, one by one, which 4 ingredients are hidden in your ice
18:10Calle, you can start to taste your ice, it’s allergy-friendly – Thanks – It is – Oh, like that…
18:17What could it be? It looks nice – Yes, it’s very nice
18:23What could be hidden in there? 4 things
18:29It’s something from the ocean
18:33What should we say? What do we have from the ocean? We have crab
18:38We have crab. I go for crab right away. And onion
18:45Leek, crab. Even more crab and leek – Jesus
18:51It tastes very distinctively like crab and onion
18:55So, you take one leek away and go for onion? – Yes, it’s the same, onion, leek – So, crab, crab, leek and onion?
19:01Yes, we can say that – That’s fine, you have one point
19:05Yes, because in the ice cream there was Rakfisk
19:08Beetroot, red onions and flatbread
19:14Vegard, then you can taste your great ice – Can I also smell it – Yes
19:20Use all your seven senses
19:23Write about it in your diary
19:26What do you taste? We’re going to the North. Aren’t we going to the North? -Jessheim
19:34No, we’re going to… we’re going to Finnmark… and the reindeer’s empire
19:40It’s Joika balls (tinned meatballs) with brown cheese. It’s lingonberry
19:48What’s the last thing… wait a bit – Sure-fire idiot. I’d like to knock you down it that’s correct
19:55Yes, that’s…
20:00Take the time you need – Cream – No, that’s in the ice. I say cream
20:04Joika balls, brown cheese, cream and
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undefined:undefinedand Janson’s temptation
21:22If I know you well, this will be empty in about 20 minutes
21:27We’ll have a short commercial break
21:30Afterwards, we’ll find out who is nearest to being clinically insane of Bård, Vegard and Calle. See you
21:51Welcome back to the islet. During the commercial break we’ve gotten many angry letters from viewers
21:58Who say that we’ve forgotten to read the summer gospel
22:02So, now you must be completely silent while I read
22:11It was during these days I sat on the mountain and looked over the ocean
22:16When the order came from the Postgiro-building that the whole world should come down and look for crabs
22:24And the prettiest of the girls should take off her bra
22:29Quirinus dashed past me in his cabin cruiser
22:34Past Tjøme and towards Kragerø, where he had a vacation home
22:38Truthfully, I tell you. I smile every day because I’m happy
22:44I’m doing much better than most here. Amen
22:56We’ll continue with something completely, completely different. You have probably noticed
23:03This year’s huge topic of conversation from the US,
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undefined:undefinedLet’s take a look at that
23:47Maybe birds of a feather flock together (literal: similar barn play together best), but those who look nicest on TV, can often be revealed to be the least nice behind the scenes
23:55I’ve now worked for Bård, Vegard
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undefined:undefined3 of you are not psychopaths
24:25And do to that I will conduct a small personality
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undefined:undefinedtraits – So comforting and uncomforting
24:47Will you come with me then? – Yes
25:10Yes, so, Bård, Vegard and Calle haven taken a test to see if they have some psychopathic traits
25:16And to give us the results of this test, here is psychologist Lisa Nordsveen
25:38Welcome, Lisa – Thanks, thanks very much – Can you start by saying briefly what it is that characterises a psychopath?
25:46Succinctly it’s that they struggle
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undefined:undefinedcan sum it up like this, yes – Difficult…
26:54Strong feelings are difficult? – Yes, that’s correct -The results of the test come in form of a concrete number and the lower the number,
27:03The fewer psychopathic traits you have, is that correct? – Yes – Yes
27:08Are you excited? – Yes – Yes, very
27:10But if you are a psychopath, you kind of don’t give a damn about the results, don’t you? -Yes, that’s why I ask – Can we guess? – Do you have any feelings towards this?
27:18Yes, I’m excited, very excited, my feelings prevail – Whom do you think will come off worst?
27:24I think I score high on psychopath – Yes, I think that you score high on psychopath
27:30I thought that we could take you first, Calle – Yes – See how you did – I’ll just sit down good in my chair
27:37I will sneak up this one here. So, Calle got…- Can I say it? – You can say the number – 4
27:434… of? – 5? – 5? – No, I have no idea. 5 is the maximum – What is the maximum? – 100?
27:52We’ll come to that – Oh, we’ll come to that – So, it doesn’t tell me anything – No -The next man is Bård
27:58 So I’m last – So, Bård scores 3
28:06Is it the cake who did that, the one I sent you?
28:11And Vegard last – Scores thus 5
28:20Vegard, was it surprising that you scored highest? – I don’t know what the number means because this…
28:26Yes, the higher your number – I get that, I get that
28:30You’re nearly double as psychopathic as your brother
28:33Whom you thought was more of a psychopath than you are, which also Calle thought – Maybe it’s a psychopathic trait in itself that you think others are psychopaths?
28:40How difficult is it to cheat in those tests – Not difficult at all
28:48Can you say that…
28:54You’ve gotten 3 numbers here, is someone of them a psychopath, kind of?
28:59No, no one of you is a psychopath – How high does the scale go? – It goes all the way up to 40
29:06And the cut off lies at about 25, so you have to score more than 25 to be a psychopath
29:13So, I’m one fifth psychopath? – You can also interpret it like that – Only from here on up
29:19You have a good to way to go before you reach Ellen’s level, boys. Nearly disappointing
29:25Bård, Vegard and Calle are no psychopaths, they’re just batshit crazy
29:32Give a warm applause to Lisa Nordsveen, thanks for coming, we’ll soon be back from the commercial break
29:39And then Bård will show off his rain dance – Yes – Yes
29:43Can we get a little sneak peek?
29:52Well, people, if it’s raining where you are right now, it probably worked. See you very soon
30:15Welcome back to ‘Magnus on the islet with Ylvis… and Vegard’
30:22If I say that we’re now going back in time to the old days and to a celebrity reality [show] that’s happening on a farm,
30:30Where are we going then, boys? – I only know one, and that’s Bøtta farm
30:34No, that’s not correct, we’re going to the farm. Finally, a Norwegian celebrity reality without Charter Svein
30:41No, just kidding, he’s of course participating here as well. Let down your guard, here is the farm
30:46On the last episode of ‘the farm’, the peasants go their task accepted, a new coat of arms
30:52Siri received a golden bucket and distributed her extra bucket to Linda
30:57Calle impressed with 6 bucket hits in bucket golf and won the competition. For that, he received one golden bucket
31:03And thus, the bucket score looks like this:
31:07Now we’re ready for a new week on the Bøtta farm and a new task will be distributed
31:15Yes?
31:17All my knowledge about the old days and farming, I’ve gotten from this book
31:21But last night something awful
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undefined:undefinedtask (speaking a dialect)
32:11On the farm we have berry bushes, and they are in a way an additional food source
32:17I actually didn’t understand anything the janitor guy said – And the birds take these berries
32:25He sounded pretty Danish – You have to mess with the neighbours
32:29Instead of understanding him while he’s talking, you understand it a bit later. So, you just must take in what he says and then you have to process it and then you understand it
32:37That’s why you have in a way 2 tasks here: To build a scarecrow
32:42Scare…crow…(imitating the janitor)
32:46And the other one is a bird-attractor
32:53Then I take off and let you be and keep on enjoying yourselves. Bye
32:59He said that we should build something ugly and something nice – The peasants have received the task to build a scarecrow
33:07Which is supposed to scare the birds away from Bøtta, and a bird-attractor which is supposed to attract the birds over to the neighbouring farm
33:13But I don’t understand, what is it we’re supposed to build? Are we supposed to build a birdhouse?
33:19No, a scarecrow, that’s what he said – A scarecrow?
33:23That’s the thing that stands like this and looks like a balloon – Regarding the attraction-thing
33:27I think what would be attractive for the birds
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undefined:undefinedand… - Sex on the inside? – Sex on the inside
33:47We have to split up a bit – The task baron Linda splits the peasants into 2 groups
33:53Linda, Siri, Calle and Vegard are going to build the bird-attractor
33:57While Aleksander, Svein and Bård get the responsibility for building the scarecrow
34:07Now we have started to build a scarecrow. It looks like Jesus
34:12This sits pretty… - Badly? – No, it has to move
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undefined:undefinedmanage puzzles in my own brain? That’s totally hopeless
38:43You may be one of the few here who can remember the dinosaur’s time
38:49Those are really a lot of parts
38:52That’s not the one I have
38:54I like puzzles a lot, both normal, flat ones and 3D ones. But that was an awful, crappy puzzle
39:01It looks like a rollercoaster
39:05The car is going up here. It’s pulled up. Where’s the car?
39:10I’m building a car. I’m building a rollercoaster in a way
39:16But this isn’t holding together – Remember that the building set was made by a chicken
39:22Now you have one minute left – Aleks, you’re doing well
39:26The chicken Kinder’s kinder-competition was fun
39:29Now! Let go of the dinosaurs – Look at Svein’s
39:35It’s time to decide who gets the golden bucket
39:44There are a lot of nice things here
39:53There are many nice dinosaurs here. But the nicest dinosaurs of all of them
39:58Goes to…
40:06Aleksander
40:09That Aleksander wins, give me real, inner joy. There’s so much inside of this tiny head without subcutaneous fat tissue that…
40:18Aleksander gets a golden bucket, is there someone who doesn’t have a golden bucket now?
40:24It’s the 2 brothers Svein and Bård
40:33Bye – Bye
40:39Hands up everyone who thinks that was a shit task – I think it was pretty good
40:50On the next episode of the farm
40:57Are you sad or is it the onion?
41:05We’re finished, it’s done for today. And next week, there’ll be a show I know nothing about
41:12Now boys, Carsten Skjelbreid is standing over there, ready for an after-match-talk
41:17So, you can just hurry over to him, see you in one week, farewell
41:25I think the boys did very well today and I’m very proud of them. We have to work on some small things and then get out there, thank you
41:33Calle, are you happy? – No, I’m very disappointed, to be honest, it already disbanded right from the beginning
41:40But now we just have to put it behind us, look forward to next week
41:45Then we’ll have a new host, new possibilities. We’ll manage to turn it around
41:50What is your reaction? – We did very well in the first part and in the 2nd part, maybe a bit weak
41:56But we came back in the 3rd part. There are 3 parts, and we’re a team and everything’s fine. And I love it, and I’m doing what I love and that’s fantastic, thanks for the interview, it’s fantastic
42:04Thanks to everyone who came, bye