YIvis - The king commands E5 (English subs) - video Dailymotion

Norsk TV in English

Episode 5 of the comedy show with YIvis on Norwegian TV, airing in fall/ winter 2019 English subs and translation by Esther

Transcript

00:23Welcome to Kongen befaler

00:25The show where our comedians will solve several

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undefined:undefinedour pool and then drank it

02:23But then we thought maybe we should catch it, so I took the hand net and wanted to try to catch the bat

02:30I managed it thus far, but I used a bit too much strength, so it got more of a tennis racket function

02:37So, it just crashed against a wall and dies momentarily – Oh, very nice – Good, nice, well done

02:50But it matches the task, it matches the task really well, it does – Applause for murder

02:55Calle – Yes? – With what have you killed? – I have killed… this I produced about 16 bodies with

03:02I brought a fully automatic, electric death chamber for mice

03:10This is a Victor Mulitkill

03:16It can kill up to 10 mice – At once? – Yes

03:22If you look here, they made two nice stairs the mice go up

03:28And you can use smear some peanut butter onto them, because that’s what mice like best

03:34Peanut butter? – Peanut butter - It’s the new cheese – It’s the new cheese, yes it’s only a myth that mice like cheese

03:39You put it up there, then the mice smell it and they go up there and then they walk across some metal plates

03:47Which are electrified? – It’s electrified – And they see and they smell the peanut butter

03:53And when they’re and their happiest, they’ll get grilled…

03:57To death and fall into a drawer, where then, nicely arranged, lay ten mice

04:07And reset

04:15Good. Bård – I brought a thing… which can go either way. It has in a way a footnote

04:23I promise that with this item I have killed something or someone,

04:30but I can’t say what/whom

04:38I took the risk of getting

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undefined:undefinedsince I have no idea what he killed with that, he didn’t tell me

06:02I would say that it’s a very strong and weak contribution I’m sitting here with

06:07What you add to the pot here is if we believe the story or not – Insofar, yes

06:13What do you think how high your credibility is? We will come back to this I think. It will be exciting to hear what you brought, Siri – No – It won’t be exciting? – No

06:21I brought a… Torky – A Torky?

06:28And jerking off jokes are obvious, but we won’t go there – Billions of lives that got lost there

06:36No, I have such a thing next to my sink in the kitchen and before I say what I killed I want to say that I like animals very much

06:45I had dogs, I had cats and other animals. I like animals very much – You HAD a cat?

06:51Had a cat? – You don’t have the cat anymore? – I haven’t killed the cat

06:56But I killed a goldfish by pressing it into the sink with a Torky for a long time

07:02Did you want to choke a goldfish? – Sick human – You wanted to drown a goldfish?

07:08I was washing the fish tank and I destroyed it and the fish was laying in the sink

07:13And I didn’t know what I should do, so instead of filling water into something else, I held it down until it stopped moving

07:20I brought… because I’m young, as you’ve said before, so I haven’t killed that much

07:28You’ll get there – You’ll get there – But I brought something which plain and simple killed my self-respect in 2018

07:40On a winter’s day

07:46And I’m a bit impressed by myself that I drank the whole box

07:50And I was told that I went into Gollum’s character on Youngstorget

07:56So, I don’t remember a lot, but I think I had a lot of fun – Have you made up your mind?

08:02I have, unfortunately, I have to say. But it’s a bit difficult, it’s a bit difficult to rank all of this

08:08I think I can’t give you any extra points because you’re a girl and you’re young

08:14But I haven’t killed – And I’m sorry that you haven’t committed a real murder yet

08:19But I think you will get there. You get the last place for the time being and you have to pull yourself together

08:24So, you can come back later and bring something you killed with. It’s not that difficult, look at the gang here, they did very well -Yes

08:32So, you get the last place, you do – That’s fine – But you can catch up during the program

08:38I’m a bit unsure, but you know what, Siri, you get the second to last, but that’s after all 2 points, right?

08:45It’s not that bad. Calle, you are on the 3rd place, Bård, you get the 2nd place and you get the 1st place because it’s the size of a bat – Then we can get up

08:55We can get up the score board. And we see right away, not surprising, that Vegard leads with 5 points

09:03Shall we continue? – Yes, can’t we do that? We can continue with the first task

09:09And that’s for the engineer within out participants – Yes, because they have to build and construct something, right?

09:17Absolutely and in addition it helps to know the meaning several kinds of words, that can help

09:24So, some here will get problems with this, in other words – Yes, shall we take a look at that? -We do that

09:45You could have cleaned before I came

09:51Eggs? – Now I’m a bit scared, let’s see – The highest tower

09:56Build the highest tower you can on this pedestal

10:00Is that a pedestal? – One of these eggs has to be on top of the tower – The tower will be measured in 20 minutes from now

10:10 A pedestal is something high, right? – Yes, I can build a tower from what I want

10:17The only thing it says is that an egg must be on top, so I don’t have to build the tower from eggs – No

10:22Then I take a trip to the garage – So, in this task

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undefined:undefinedsupposed to do with gaffer tape?

12:05A gaffer nest on top of my gaffer tree

12:13I must build myself a gaffer gaffer-holder

12:16I expect that no one doesn’t think of taping the egg

12:21If you could now give me the pillow? – Yes – And gladly an egg – At the same time as the pillow?

12:36I want to do it by myself. There

12:39This feels like an extremely good idea right now

12:51Okay, now I’ll just go up here.Like this

12:56That will be exciting, yes – I think we reached our goal

13:02Okay, now there’s some egg business up here. So, I think now we should stop while the game is good

13:10Because the game is good

13:12Time’s over – This is my castle

13:17Yes – I guess 6 – Yes – How much is it? – Not 6

13:24Can’t I know? – No

13:34You saved me

13:46Maria, this won’t be a ‘we bully Maria show’. Yes, it will be. No

13:51What I love about you is that you’re so happy even if you don’t have any reason to be

13:57It takes so little, Atle – When you managed to put 2 things on top of each other,

14:03You were pretty much already done, you enjoyed the time

14:07I put the one basket on top of something else and it made 3 centimetres difference

14:133 important centimetres- It can be 3 important centimetres – I don’t think so

14:19I can reveal that these 3 centimetres didn’t have anything to say

14:23But if it was half a metre, maybe, Maria, you had the lowest one

14:28Oh no – So far at least, with 3 metres

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undefined:undefinedexpectations. Those are ambitious comedians

18:13That have an arsenal of tricks, gimmicks and knowledge of how to entertain both high and low

18:20This must be totally fantastic. It has to – This was a cruel task – Yes, it was the worst of all

18:28Malicious – Totally fantastic is what it’ll be. Olli? – Let’s start with Maria – Lead us through this

18:34Let’s start with Maria – Why do I have to start? – Yes

18:39I will show something very impressive

18:42Once I managed to put my pants on without using my hands

18:57The last knoll is a bit…

19:03I don’t know if you like acrobatics, stripping or good speeches – Good speeches -Then I drop acrobatics and stripping – What do you like, Hilde? – Politics

19:12Politics. I was at the young conservatives’ meeting some time ago. Where are you politically, I should’ve known that maybe – Labour party – Oh, you are…

19:20If I say that I vote for the Worker’s Youth League in the elections – You can’t vote for them, they’re not a party

19:27Now I go and feel ashamed – Dear mayor, I’m here today to talk a bit about the collective work holiday

19:33Are you counting? – 3 – Are you going to sit on top, Hilde? – But during the collective holidays I thought about something

19:46Impressive – Thanks – I read a comment about the collective holiday regarding how collective it should be

19:51You can also go backwards like this

19:57O holy night, oh holy time for the world

20:09Don’t you hear what that is? – Yes, water drops. Impressive

20:15Oh holy night,

20:23you gave us your salvation

20:32Can you send messages in Morse code? – No – I can

20:42Now I’m done – Impressive – Would you like to get a hug? – Yes – Can I hug you across the table

20:49Thank you that we could share this moment together – Bye – Bye

21:10What happened?

21:12Panic! – Where should I start? Siri – Yes, I know. I don’t want to talk about it - What were you thinking?

21:18You’re starting…when you’re supposed to impress a mayor… with your speech skills

21:25The only thing a mayor does is to hold speeches – Yes – So, you want to impress with a speech?

21:32Would you try to impress Petter Northug with your skiing skills?

21:36This was actually so awkward that I have to wash my eyes in commercials

21:51Welcome back to Kongen befaler here in the

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undefined:undefinedSince it seems that you’re Lazz from Staysmann and Lazz

27:44That was funny

27:47No, it’s totally that… - I think Vegard just totally froze up there

27:52You sat like this when you were playing the piano – No, it was totally awful -No, that’s fine. That’s water under the bridge. But those aren’t the points

27:59No, the mayor will decide about them, so let me quote the mayor:

28:04The one who impressed me least was Vegard. One point

28:12Next one? – Next one

28:13Your speech was lacking enthusiasm and passion, Siri. Two points

28:18It was a bit much of your arms and legs, even if the morsing was a bit impressive. 3 points

28:25The morsing was a bit impressive. You got something for the morsing. You didn’t get anything for taking off your pants – Think about that – Unbelievable

28:34I don’t think Maria knew where to go, what she was doing or where she was, but she performed ‘Holy night’ in a way I never heard before

28:42I will never forget that. 4 points

28:46And that means…that what she said about

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undefined:undefinedword. You have one minute. Time starts now

29:41You have one minute, time starts now

29:44Yes, the participants have to say as many

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undefined:undefined- A bit better – Yes,

35:16a bit better. Maybe. But

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undefined:undefined-I didn’t see anything for 4 minutes. I was just like: Now I must eat

39:31But did you enjoy it? – Yes – But you had no idea, but your body tells you to and you went for the saw right away because you thought it might fit

39:38But it also did, it worked pretty well – Is that something intuitive, too, when there’s something with eating, you get the saw?

39:45You get your saw out? – I can cut things…but now I’m

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YIvis - The king commands E5 (English subs)

Transcript

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