Gogglebox S25E08
#GoggleboxS25E08
#GoggleboxS25
#GoggleboxS25E08
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00:00Don't stop whistling! Why are you whistling when I'm not even there to hear you being annoying?
00:15Dogs in me, I suppose.
00:19Oh, that's me! YOLO!
00:21You always get long, don't you?
00:23What's going on here?
00:24That's my weekend ruined. I've got liking to geeks.
00:27Right, I'm not watching anymore.
00:29Who shot him?
00:30Him!
00:31You?
00:32Yes! Yes, yes!
00:34Oh, no!
00:35I like you already.
00:36Is it a boy? What is it? Oh!
00:38Boo!
00:40Oh, he's bleeding!
00:42Oh, I'm getting all goosey.
00:44Well, what exciting times we're living.
00:46In the week we bid a fond farewell to Top Gun star Val Kilmer.
00:51We enjoyed lots of great telly.
00:54One of me millionaires were playing a game of secrets and lies on Netflix.
00:59Getting the million dollars is easy, but how far would you be willing to go to keep it?
01:04The road is paved with lies, deceit.
01:07The funnier lies are the ones that you tell Nat, and then he believes.
01:11Porn isn't Nat.
01:13Like what?
01:14How much stuff costs.
01:18He doesn't need to know.
01:20Grimmie was sorting out naughty dogs on Channel 4.
01:29That is like small man syndrome, so you know what I'm talking about.
01:34Do I?
01:36And it was getting harder to resist on tempting fortune.
01:40To keep the money intact, they must resist spending it on tantalising temptations.
01:45This is what's going to get us through.
01:47You're weak today.
01:49This is pure greed.
01:50Do you remember that time we shared a cottage in Rye in Sussex, Mary?
01:56And you had a bath.
01:58And someone said there's only enough hot water, four people staying in the house, only enough hot water for one bath.
02:05And you had it.
02:06And I knew that that bath was for me, Nutty.
02:09Unless you said it was a defining moment in her relationship with you.
02:14Yes.
02:15Because she knew what you were like.
02:16I wasn't fully...
02:17Mature.
02:18I'm not mature yet, but I am now, Mary.
02:29I put these glasses on around the house and pull my trousers up and sing Elton John songs at Dan.
02:36Yeah?
02:37Yeah.
02:38Is that the way you keep your relationship alive?
02:39Well, he likes it, yeah.
02:41Does he?
02:42He likes it.
02:43It's good, though.
02:44It really feels like Elton John.
02:45Go on, pop him on.
02:47Do you like him?
02:48Yeah.
02:49Oh.
02:50Can you do... I'm still standing.
02:51Go on.
02:52Do what?
02:53I'm still standing.
02:54Go on.
02:55No, I don't do that.
02:56He doesn't know songs.
02:57I know.
02:58I don't listen to the lyrics.
02:59It's part of the music.
03:00He looks more like Christopher Biggins than Elton John.
03:02Oh, my God.
03:03He looks like Pruly.
03:04What?
03:05I haven't got a thing.
03:06He looks like Pruly.
03:07Oh, he does look a bit like Pruly.
03:08Great.
03:09And it's not just the glasses.
03:10It's the hair as well.
03:17Bobby's been loving this.
03:18It's right up his street.
03:19Has Bobby been watching it?
03:20Oh, yeah.
03:21You know what it's like for competition reality.
03:23I've got a bit of a temptation going on right now.
03:26Even though I'm on my diet,
03:28I feel like them eclairs are just staring at me.
03:34Paige goes mad at me because I'm quite impulsive.
03:37Yeah.
03:38You know, like when I bought the three-wheel van.
03:40Yeah.
03:41You know, stuff like that.
03:42Yeah, the Katy Perry tickets.
03:43Yeah, they're for her, not me.
03:46In the programme, with the team split into two groups,
03:49the fortune-seekers were faced with yet another temptation.
03:53This is Lang Coey's prize secret.
03:56A head-and-retreat,
03:58floating on the tropical waters of the Andaman Sea.
04:01Oh!
04:02That's a bit of me, that.
04:03Look at that.
04:04After roughing it in the jungle,
04:05I might find this one a bit hard to resist, you know.
04:08Dinner served on your own private deck
04:11and breakfast the following morning.
04:13Sold. I'm going for it.
04:15I tell you what, that's the dog's bollocks, that, innit?
04:17That's going to be expensive.
04:18And if they want it, they'll have to place a bid.
04:21Ah! Bid!
04:22They're bidding against each other.
04:24And whoever wins can choose to share it with another fortune-seeker.
04:28Oh, she gets to pick something with you.
04:29I know you won't, but I'll just choose me if you won it.
04:32You'd ruin it for me, you snore.
04:34This is the retreat, an exclusive getaway on Lang Coey.
04:38I think Sam will bid nothing.
04:40She doesn't like spending.
04:41She doesn't like spending.
04:42Sam's all for preserving the price pot.
04:45As beautiful as it is, it's a no from me.
04:48Nothing.
04:49And you're a zero!
04:51Gosh, she is a martyr, isn't she?
04:53Aw, bloody hell, Sam.
04:54Bar off, Sam.
04:55Have a day off.
04:56I want to start it with a three,
04:57cos I feel like three doesn't sound as bad as four.
05:00Three?
05:01She's going to start it with a three?
05:03Three grand?
05:04It could be.
05:05I'm going to say £4,000.
05:06Oh!
05:07Did he just say £4,000?
05:10Nah, Thomas is easier to make.
05:12I'm an alpha.
05:13I like to be in control.
05:14Yeah, I would have said Nathaniel wouldn't,
05:16but he's bolded quite a lot recently.
05:17No, he's had a taste for it, bud.
05:21Wow, I just started laughing.
05:23Come on, what are you putting down?
05:25£10,000.
05:28Oh!
05:29Come on!
05:30No!
05:32Congratulations, Nathaniel.
05:35You have won the bidding for the retreat.
05:38Please leave the camp to go and enjoy your evening.
05:41You sly dog, Nathaniel.
05:43Are you going to tell everybody how much you bid?
05:45They're going to be pissed, aren't they?
05:46They're going to be pissed.
05:48I'll put £10,000 on the table.
05:49Oh, wow!
05:51Hey, ten racks, you know!
05:54I think this one really spoke to my soul,
05:56so I'm going to do it by myself.
05:58Oh, he's doing it by himself as well.
05:59He's doing it on his own as well.
06:00Selfish twat.
06:01After spending £10,000 at your seat,
06:03I'm enjoying it all on my own.
06:04I'll do that to the cameras,
06:05because it's in between us.
06:06Yeah!
06:09Not in the room.
06:10Oh, my gosh!
06:11Not in the room with champagne under his arm.
06:14It's a luxury.
06:15It looks good on Nathaniel, doesn't it?
06:17I believe I've earned this retreat.
06:20I believe the team knows I deserve it, too.
06:23Does he?
06:24I don't think the team does.
06:25Oh, I bet that's what they're thinking back in camp,
06:28sleeping on sticks.
06:30I'll take it, then.
06:32Oh, he's having two locks, you greedy bastard!
06:35That's rubbing it in.
06:37That's rubbing it in, that.
06:38After having a good night's sleep in the retreat,
06:41it was time for Nathaniel and Sam's teams to reunite.
06:47Hallelujah!
06:48Oh, they're coming back together,
06:50so he's going to get the wrath of the other group as well.
06:52How are you doing?
06:53Yeah, good, thank you.
06:54Oh, good to see you.
06:55Uh-oh, there's Sam.
06:56I'm getting palpitations, because Sammy's going to go mad.
07:00What a retreat.
07:02I'll go on.
07:03Oh, go on.
07:04He's coming straight out with it.
07:06Let's just get this over with.
07:07I put down 10k.
07:10Oh, my God.
07:12Right, ready?
07:1410k!
07:15Look at Sam, look at Sam!
07:17Oh, she's livid!
07:18You're so full of shit, it's unbelievable.
07:24You are so full of shit, mate,
07:26and I'm telling you that straight to your face.
07:30Say what you mean, Sam.
07:31You see, this is the problem, you know.
07:34In the Bible, it talks about greed.
07:36Yeah.
07:37You know, and you shouldn't be greedy.
07:39Thou shalt not be greedy, bastard.
07:41Yeah.
07:42Some people get off on that, you know.
07:43Get off on what?
07:44Other people spending their money.
07:46Show me them, take me to their leader.
07:48I'm sure you can find them online.
07:50Yes, I will join, I will register.
07:52As a matter of fact...
07:53Ask Alexa.
07:54Alexa, me and Alexa are going to talk,
07:56GPD, we're going to have a talk about this,
07:58because show me where there's a group of people
08:00that want me to spend their money,
08:02and I'm telling you, I will make them very happy.
08:08In North London...
08:09Oh, my God, Amira, you know, the other day, you know,
08:12I had my appraisal at work.
08:14Let's just say mine didn't go so well, honestly.
08:17Sisters Amira and Amani.
08:19Literally nothing positive.
08:21I don't remember one good thing she said at all.
08:23Are you being serious?
08:24I'm not, honestly, I can't...
08:26That's so sad.
08:27There was not one positive thing she said to me.
08:30So she was like, you know what,
08:32you're at risk of possibly even getting fired.
08:34I was like, oh, my God, I need to change a lot of things.
08:39But, like, I'm late.
08:40Out of the five days I'm there, I'm late at least three,
08:43three, four days.
08:48On Thursday night,
08:49there were some problematic pooches in rehab on Channel 4.
08:53I reckon my dogs are more trained than yours.
08:56My mum always says you have to have a certain tone in your voice
08:59with Leo, so you can't just say, Leo.
09:01You have to say, Leo.
09:03Jesus.
09:04Is this the new version of the Barbara Woodhouse?
09:08Oh, one for the kids there, Jane.
09:13The dog.
09:14Good boy.
09:16Man's best friend.
09:18Colin is your best friend, isn't he?
09:21Yeah.
09:22Or so you thought.
09:24Oh, my God, who's taking her for a walk there?
09:26There's now a very special place.
09:29Bloody hell, this is a nice gaff, isn't it?
09:31Look, if you're badly behaved,
09:32you get to go and live in a manor house for a bit.
09:38That dog!
09:39I can't imagine.
09:41Out of your kids, who was the easiest to train,
09:43who was the hardest to train?
09:45Who was hardest to train?
09:47Why is it always me?
09:49You didn't even see me, did you?
09:52Look at all those chihuahuas.
09:54Oh, they're... I can't stand yappers.
09:58Why do we have so many?
10:00Do you know what's worse than five chihuahuas?
10:02Six.
10:03Exactly.
10:04Tell me who we've got here with us today.
10:06So, we've got Louis, the dad.
10:08Yes.
10:09We've got Daisy, the mum.
10:11Oh, wow.
10:12And then we've got the three babies, which is Peach...
10:15Oh, wow.
10:16And then we've got the three babies,
10:18And then we've got the three babies, which is Peach, Bonnie and Baby.
10:23Oh, as if they've got mum, dad and babies.
10:25They've got the full chihuahua family.
10:27The three young'uns should have been put on Gumtree,
10:29in my opinion.
10:34Hello.
10:35A bit later, dog trainer Victoria had a plan to calm the chihuahuas.
10:40I know this might seem a bit strange,
10:43but I've got a yoga mat for each of you.
10:46Are we doing puppy yoga? What's happening here?
10:48You need to restore a little bit of calm.
10:53We're always telling them what to do.
10:56But actually, the most important skill is to teach them to do nothing.
11:02So is that okay?
11:04It's not a bad way of treating them.
11:06Well, we've done nothing and I was just a little naughty.
11:09So that you don't work, then.
11:11I want you to wait for them to settle.
11:17Oh.
11:19They're not getting no attention whatsoever.
11:21They're just sat there and they're not getting no attention.
11:24But how long do they go on for?
11:29Two days later.
11:30I was going to say...
11:33These dogs are going to start to mimic your behaviour.
11:38Look.
11:39Oh, see.
11:40Look at them, they've all quietened down.
11:44Yeah.
11:46It's worked, it's worked.
11:48Oh, it's falling asleep now, look at that.
11:52Okay, how do you think they're going to get on now?
11:54I think it's going to be tricky, I think it's going to be hard.
11:56Because what I do want you to do is to go knock on that door.
11:58She's going to set them off with a door knock.
12:00Right, this will be interesting.
12:08Awful.
12:09It is awful.
12:11They're just doing nothing, they've got to ignore them.
12:14Let's see how long it takes them to settle.
12:18They're a lot calmer than I would be in that situation.
12:24Oh, look at that one.
12:27They've shut up.
12:28Oh, look, there's a level of calm there.
12:30They are, aren't they?
12:31Good girls.
12:33Good girls.
12:34Good boys.
12:35Good boys.
12:36Good girls.
12:38Good girls.
12:39Good boy, Louie.
12:40Aw.
12:41That's because they never responded to the dogs.
12:44Honey, I have to train you a little bit.
12:46Look, calm, Shirley, calm.
12:49You won't be training me.
12:51Calm.
12:54You won't, I tell you.
12:59You won't be doing that.
13:02Down.
13:03Down.
13:05Down.
13:07Oh, my God.
13:17It bleeds.
13:18I went to Costco yesterday.
13:20Oh, yeah, what did you get?
13:22So, I got kitchen roll, cat food, a crate of coconut water,
13:27some water bottles for Ezra and some festoon lights for the garden.
13:31Sisters Ellie and Izzy.
13:33But I got up to my usual tricks when I were there.
13:36Well, I was going to say,
13:37what were wrong with you this time when you got tiptoeing out?
13:40Yeah, but, you know, I've had a bit of an upset stomach lately.
13:43I needed the toilet all of a sudden.
13:45So, I said, no, I'm really sorry, I've got to go to the toilet.
13:48I bet you do.
13:49I said, look, I might even be back by the time,
13:52do you know, that you even get to the front of the queue.
13:55And were you back by the time he got to the front of the queue?
13:58No, he were waiting at the end of the tills he'd already paid.
14:01This week on Netflix, it was all about keeping stum
14:05as they dropped a brand-new game show for us.
14:08Ooh, I'm excited about this million-dollar secret.
14:10It's a big new Netflix show.
14:12They emailed me about this. Something you might like.
14:15Ooh.
14:17Someone give me a million dollars, I'll keep a secret.
14:20Would you, well, as soon as you get out down your throat that's alcoholic,
14:25that's it, the secret's gone.
14:29We'd be shy of this cos we can't hold our own piss.
14:32You can't hold your own piss and I'm a terrible liar.
14:35I mean, I'd be pretty happy with a million.
14:38There is things I wouldn't do, though, for a million.
14:42What? I.e. getting a lift.
14:45I.e. lock the toilet door.
14:50What does I.e. mean?
14:52Example.
14:53To the stag!
14:54To the stag!
14:56To the stag!
14:58Ladies and gentlemen, welcome.
15:00Look who's presenting, Miss Peter Sarah Renner.
15:03He gives me villain vibes. This is not presenter.
15:06In each of your rooms right now, there is a box.
15:09And in one of those boxes, there is a million dollars.
15:13I'd be sticking it down me knickers.
15:15I'd be shoving it all the way down me top.
15:19Jenny, I think he'd want that.
15:21I'd want that.
15:22Whoever finds the million dollars in their room gets to keep it.
15:25What's your face going to look like
15:27if you've got a million dollars in your box, Mum?
15:30That sounds wrong.
15:32Like that.
15:33But only if they can hide in plain sight
15:35until the end of their stay.
15:37Oh.
15:38Keep your secret, keep your money.
15:41That's a catchphrase.
15:42Keep your secret, keep your money.
15:44Also, it's like traces, but with real money.
15:46It's like deal or no deal, or steroids.
15:48I was literally just thinking that.
15:50I suppose if you did find a million,
15:52you couldn't help but every so often go...
15:56..like that, wouldn't you?
15:58As you anticipated spending it.
16:01We didn't have to wait long to see who had been given the money.
16:08Mum!
16:10She's got it.
16:11Lauren! Lauren!
16:13And Peter popped in with a secret mission.
16:16For the first activity of sundown,
16:18you must hug each of the guests.
16:21Arthur gets to go with her. I'm not letting him go.
16:23Are you a hugger?
16:24No. I look like a hugger.
16:26She does look like a hugger. She does not hug.
16:28I didn't know there was a specific definition of a hugger.
16:31Some people go like that.
16:32Do I look like an egghead?
16:33No.
16:34I need to accomplish the agenda before the challenge begins.
16:37You've got two hours to hug that lot.
16:39That's a lot of hugs.
16:40I can't remember the last time we ever hugged.
16:42I can.
16:43It was when we went to go see Peter Kane
16:45and me and Aloise turned up to meet you and Nat
16:47and you gave Aloise a hug and a kiss
16:49and then you gave me one
16:50and it was the weirdest thing I've ever experienced.
16:53I'll tell you honestly, I don't have a read on anything.
16:56On any person right now.
16:58Here we go.
16:59She wants a hug.
17:00So if you see something, you have to share it with people.
17:02Like if you see someone do something weird.
17:04I do weird things every second of the day.
17:06Come on. She could hug three people, eh?
17:08I'm going to hug you.
17:09Are we going now, babe?
17:10Lauren, hug, hug, hug, hug, hug, hug.
17:13It's so nice to talk to you guys.
17:15Yes, one.
17:16Yes, one.
17:17Here we go, one.
17:18Yeah, thanks for the chat, guys.
17:20He does look a bit suspect, that.
17:22Thanks for the chat.
17:23I fucking love Ireland.
17:25I just love this.
17:26Oh, she did that really well, didn't she?
17:29She did, yeah.
17:30Okay, well, well for you then.
17:31And then I've had six miscarriages since then.
17:36Oh, my word.
17:37We're going straight into the deep stuff.
17:40It's almost like I would give a million dollars
17:43just to build my family.
17:45This is another good hugging scenario, though.
17:47Come on, Lauren, get in there.
17:48Get in there, quick.
17:50You can get another one, two, three, four there.
17:52And even forming a connection like this.
17:54We're sobbing in here.
17:55We're trying, though.
17:57Oh, here comes the hug machine.
18:01Just drop gold.
18:02Lauren's like, yes.
18:03Yeah.
18:04I'm going to hug this shit out of everyone here.
18:06Okay, okay, hold on, hold on.
18:08Who is this?
18:10We all need hugs.
18:12Come on.
18:13Lauren's got hugs for everyone.
18:15You're very tall.
18:16Six.
18:17She's on a roll.
18:19Oh, sorry, sorry.
18:20Did I sit on your glasses?
18:21Oh, Lauren.
18:25Oh, boy.
18:2739 seconds.
18:29Come on, one more.
18:30One more, Corey.
18:31I only have a little time left,
18:33so I'm keeping an eye out for Corey.
18:36Side hug, I'm telling you, that's the key.
18:38Side hug.
18:39I keep kind of meandering to the back.
18:41Gosh.
18:44Fall into his arms.
18:46Just tell him he's got lovely looking eyes or something.
18:49Give him a kiss, a hug.
18:51A kiss?
18:52Yeah, absolutely.
18:55Oh, yeah!
18:58Yeah, she's done it.
19:00Go on, Lauren.
19:01And he gave her the hug.
19:02Yeah.
19:03Oh, isn't she clever?
19:05Task completed.
19:06Come on, give me a hug.
19:10Fudge attack!
19:20Now, I know Mel's not my mum,
19:22but I couldn't have messed up Mother's Day more if I tried.
19:25What did you do about this?
19:27I said the hickeys.
19:28I don't know if I told you about this gift,
19:30and it's the loveliest gift ever.
19:32It's like a photo frame, yeah?
19:34And it says, on top of it,
19:37Mum, you're the piece that brings us together.
19:42And it's lovely.
19:43And underneath it, it's supposed to have jigsaw pieces
19:46and all our names on it,
19:47and Mum's got to be right in the middle.
19:49And I'm really proud I ordered all of this thing.
19:52It had Theodore, Amelia, and me.
19:56Mel's jigsaw piece was in there.
19:58Oh, no.
19:59I only ordered three pieces of it.
20:01Oh, boss.
20:02I know, man. I can't believe it.
20:04On Friday night,
20:05the American administration were at it again on ITV News.
20:09You love watching the news now?
20:11I do. I love watching.
20:12Yes, it's Trump's got him powered up.
20:14Yeah, you like it, don't you?
20:15I do, because you just don't know
20:16what's going to come out of his mouth next.
20:18Well, to Greenland now.
20:20Oh, Greenland.
20:22Where the US Vice President had been warned
20:24of a frosty reception.
20:26A frosty reception.
20:28Do you like such adjectives?
20:30Given Donald Trump's repeated threats
20:32to take over the island.
20:33Eh? How can America take over Greenland?
20:36It's been part of Denmark for 300 years.
20:39Yeah, but it's not even up for taking, is it?
20:42It's almost like we're going back to colonial times, isn't it?
20:45Everything's up for grabs again now.
20:47This was, though, no official visit.
20:49There had been no invitation from the Kingdom of Denmark.
20:52Oh, J.D. Vance has gone out there
20:55to flex his bloody muscles, isn't he?
20:58Well, he can't flex his brain,
21:00because he hasn't got one.
21:03Political leaders were uniting around a pledge
21:06to keep foreign hands off.
21:08Trump unites everyone else against America, doesn't he?
21:11That's his skill.
21:12It meant Mr Vance was confined to a US base
21:151,000 miles away at Biddufik.
21:18HE LAUGHS
21:20He ain't coming in. He ain't coming in.
21:22He can go to his base, he can go there,
21:24he can do whatever he wants there.
21:25He's not coming to this meeting,
21:26he's not coming to meet at the Greenlanders.
21:28Move yourself, quick.
21:29Welcome. Go on.
21:31How are we doing? Ready to invade?
21:33Yeah.
21:37Horrible job.
21:38What did he expect?
21:40It's a war.
21:41It's in the Arctic Circle.
21:42He had no idea where it was.
21:45He had some very serious messages
21:47for the people of Greenland
21:49and the government of Denmark.
21:51When we say serious messages,
21:52it's probably going to be more like a threat.
21:54A threatening on the town. Yeah.
21:56Wherever this guy goes, he slags off.
22:00Every country, he hasn't got a good word for anyone.
22:05You've underinvested in the people of Greenland
22:07and you've underinvested in the security architecture
22:10of this incredible, beautiful landmass
22:13filled with incredible people.
22:14How do you know you haven't met any of them?
22:16They're all 1,000 miles away.
22:17Exactly.
22:18The landmass is filled with minerals, oil, gas.
22:22And that's why he wants it, is it?
22:24And if the people of Greenland were willing
22:26to partner with the United States,
22:28and I think that they ultimately will partner
22:30with the United States.
22:31It's evolved to ultimately will.
22:34We could make them much more secure.
22:36We could do a lot more protection.
22:38Aren't they protected by NATO anyway?
22:40Yes.
22:42We have to have Greenland.
22:44It's not a question of,
22:45you think we can do without it?
22:46We can't.
22:47Oh.
22:48We have to have Greenland.
22:50It's not yours.
22:51If you look at Greenland right now,
22:53if you look at the waterways,
22:54you have Chinese and Russian ships
22:56all over the place.
22:57So China and Russia are already sniffing round it?
23:00Yeah.
23:01We're not relying on Denmark or anybody else
23:03to take care of that situation?
23:05You've got to rely on Denmark
23:06because it's their fucking country,
23:08you dickhead.
23:09This sounds very hostile takeover-y though,
23:11doesn't it?
23:12If Greenland belongs to Denmark,
23:14what's Trump saying?
23:15What's he prepared to do?
23:16Can you imagine if he rocked up to Durham
23:18and was like,
23:19right, this is mine now.
23:22And you'd say, excuse me?
23:24I'd say, hang on a minute.
23:27I'm happy with who we've got running Durham now.
23:30Who does run Durham?
23:40Inca Philly.
23:41You didn't see how I loved it, did you?
23:43One of my gifts for my retirement party.
23:48Toilet bread.
23:49Toilet bread.
23:50Oh, nice, isn't it?
23:51Dave and his wife Shirley.
23:54You had three retirement cakes.
23:56I know.
23:57We checked the one I bought in the bin.
24:00Yeah, there was way too much cake on it.
24:04You had Tom Ford.
24:06Aye.
24:07You had nuts.
24:08You had cleaning rags.
24:11And I had a toilet bread.
24:13On Sunday night,
24:14there was a blast from the past on BBC Two.
24:17Do you know what?
24:18It's nice that Bruce Perry's had a decade off telly
24:20to give him but also the tribes a rest.
24:23Yeah, I used to watch him.
24:24And he used to go and stay with Amazon tribes.
24:27And one time he took in a hallucinogenic mixture
24:31that's become very fashionable.
24:33But he took it before it was fashionable,
24:35called Ayahuasca.
24:36My name is Bruce Perry.
24:38Oh, I'm not just Perry.
24:3920 years ago,
24:40I set off to meet some of the most extraordinary tribes
24:43living on this planet.
24:47Is that him in the nude?
24:48Yes.
24:49This guy's in the tribe.
24:50He's running all the horses with his ding-a-doot.
24:51That's as much as in the tribe you get.
24:53Look at him.
24:57It does it in a non-cringy appropriation way.
25:00Yeah, like he's not just out in Africa
25:02holding all the babies.
25:03Yeah, holding all the babies
25:04and posting on Instagram.
25:05Yeah.
25:06Would they know what a radiator was?
25:08I don't think that they've got a radiator.
25:10But I find it so crazy
25:13they don't need one because it's lovely weather.
25:15In the programme,
25:16we join Bruce in a little boat
25:18heading deep into the Amazon rainforest
25:21to meet a tribe.
25:23The Waimaha's ability to live here
25:25comes from their unique connection
25:27with the rainforest.
25:28Do you know,
25:29that actually would tickle my fancy,
25:30but just for the day.
25:32I think it would be pointless going for the day, though.
25:34If you're going to travel all that way,
25:35you might as well make a night of it.
25:37I've heard that the heart of this connection
25:39is a psychoactive concoction that they take.
25:43Oh, hello.
25:44He's into the tribes,
25:45is he, old Bruce?
25:46Talk to me, Bruce.
25:47Let's talk about your psychoactive substance.
25:49He's straight on it, isn't he?
25:50Yeah, like he loves it.
25:52Yahe is a psychoactive brew,
25:54also known as ayahuasca.
25:56Ah.
25:57He's still all about ayahuasca.
25:59There's a chemical in it called DMT.
26:01God.
26:02It's apparently that molecule that you produce when you die.
26:04It's a very profound experience.
26:06Really?
26:07I've taken it before,
26:08but now I want to join a Waimaha ceremony
26:11to experience how it connects them with the forest.
26:14Something no foreigner has done before.
26:16I'd be scared.
26:17Yeah, what if you had a cardiac arrest
26:19in the middle of the rainforest?
26:21Bruce will be in gonger.
26:22I'd need an ambulance.
26:23He's a man of a certain age.
26:25On the eve of the dance,
26:27Pedro takes me to the river.
26:29Pedro.
26:30There's one of us everywhere in the world.
26:32Our stomachs must be empty
26:34so that Yahe can be absorbed.
26:36Are they making themselves sick?
26:37I'll tell you,
26:38a drink that can empty my stomach in seconds,
26:40one of them frothy coffees that mum does.
26:42Yeah.
26:43Whoa.
26:45BRUCE SIGHS
26:47Bruce looks very scared of drinking that.
26:52We like drinking with Bruce
26:54cos Bruce is our mate.
26:56So when we drink with Bruce,
26:58he gets it down in eight.
27:00BRUCE GURGLES
27:02Oh, right, he voted.
27:04Oh, sick.
27:05Ah!
27:06I don't want to watch this.
27:08That's all we need.
27:11Just get it up, Bruce.
27:13Bruce, you'll feel so much better.
27:15That's good.
27:16BRUCE GURGLES
27:20Ah!
27:22He's gone very exorcist.
27:24He's done it before cos that's like a tap.
27:27Finally, the Yahe is produced.
27:29It's Yahe time.
27:31That bloody time.
27:32This is what all of this preparation
27:34has been leading up to,
27:36this moment.
27:37CROWD CHATTER
27:39WHISTLE BLOWS
27:42See you on the other side.
27:44I was going to say that.
27:46I just stepped inside for a bit.
27:48So...
27:50What?
27:51Oh!
27:52He's away with the fairy.
27:54Where did you get this stuff?
27:55Huh?
27:56Rainforest state.
27:57As the Yahe takes hold,
27:59I feel the barriers between myself
28:02and everyone else dissolve.
28:04Oh, here we go.
28:06Hooray!
28:07It's beautiful.
28:08He loves everybody.
28:10It's five in the morning.
28:14Just as I was getting up to go to the loo,
28:16I lost myself
28:18and couldn't stand up.
28:20Bruce looks a bit rough.
28:22Will someone get Bruce a glass of water?
28:24I would be in there.
28:25I know you would.
28:26There is no doubt in my mind
28:28that you wouldn't be in there.
28:30Hour 22, still going.
28:32Week 48.
28:33Pedro, nother.
28:34LAUGHTER
28:35Shots for everybody.
28:37LAUGHTER
28:40Blackpool.
28:41Tell you what, I'm fuming today.
28:43Why?
28:44Well, I've booked in for mine and Jimmy's hair
28:46to get cut at the same time, right?
28:48Only I forgot that he's at preschool this afternoon.
28:50Ah.
28:51So I've had to cancel.
28:52Only they said to me that they want all the money
28:55for the appointment because they can't fill it.
28:57Pete and his little sister Sophie.
28:59So what are you going to do then,
29:00pull him out of preschool?
29:02No.
29:03Well, I've managed to negotiate down to 50%.
29:06Jesus.
29:07So he just gets half a haircut next time.
29:10I don't want to fall out with him for the simple reason
29:12that, you know, he gets a blank cheque,
29:15so he rolls this up.
29:17I was going to say, don't be saying the good,
29:20because that's a lie.
29:23On Monday, ITV hit us up
29:25with more up-to-the-minute news at lunchtime.
29:28Enough of me balls are getting smaller.
29:30I was just going to say that.
29:32Your mouth in.
29:33The next John Cena or The Rock
29:35will be here in the UK.
29:36Well, WWE is hosting tryouts to find out.
29:39Why don't you get Toby to do it?
29:41I know, he loves wrestling.
29:43Finally, some news that affects us.
29:45Yeah.
29:46Let's get oiled up, man.
29:47Let's go.
29:48And then we're watched over by wrestling superstar
29:50Paul Debesque, better known as Triple H.
29:52You know Triple H, don't you, Dad?
29:54No.
29:55Reggie, don't we used to have Billy Tool Rivers, JNF.
29:58Thanks.
29:59And Big Daddy.
30:00Big Daddy.
30:01The journey to the dizzying heights of WWE superstardom
30:04doesn't start at WrestleMania.
30:06The Rock, Dwayne The Rock Johnson.
30:08This is where The Rock became famous was through WWE.
30:12Do you remember The Rock and he used to do that eyebrow thing?
30:14Yeah.
30:15We can't do it.
30:16Our eyebrows don't move.
30:17We've paid for them to be like that.
30:19But rather, in an industrial estate.
30:22Slightly less glamorous.
30:24Oh, my man, my dream was always for us
30:26to become a tag team and take it on the road, man.
30:29Take it on the road.
30:30Where hopefuls are put through their paces
30:32under the watchful eye of Triple H.
30:35He's like a senior in WWE now, isn't he?
30:38He owns it.
30:39He owns it.
30:40Triple H used to do the pedigree.
30:42They'd take him in the sports and then
30:44they'd put their head down and get their arms in
30:46and boom, he'd drop on his knees.
30:48The former champion turned company executive
30:51is on the lookout for new talent.
30:53They need to be trying out for new people
30:54because John Cena's quitting.
30:56Who's quiet nowadays?
30:58Like Danny, so he could do with a bit of TV.
31:00Anthony Constantine.
31:01Yeah.
31:02Coming in here and seeing these kids,
31:05seeing the enthusiasm in their eyes.
31:07There he is, look at him.
31:09Oh, my God.
31:10Hey, he's aged very well.
31:11I can't remember Triple H and I bought these toys for Jack.
31:15You would have got Triple H.
31:17Did I?
31:18Yeah, you did.
31:20The franchise has been around for more than half a century.
31:2250 years.
31:23Wrestling is big business.
31:25Do you remember?
31:26It used to be on on a Saturday when we were young.
31:27Yes, we always watched wrestling.
31:29It really frustrates me now
31:31when I try to get Louie to watch wrestling
31:33and he's like, oh, I'll watch Spider-Man.
31:35No.
31:36We'll sit here and we'll watch wrestling.
31:38You know, I have in the past, and I'm not ashamed to admit it,
31:40you know, got a set of tight undies on
31:42and made me hold myself up, you know,
31:44and looked in the mirror.
31:45I'll tell you, yeah, I'll be a cracking WWE wrestler.
31:49Is there a division below the featherweights?
31:52LAUGHTER
32:00Darling.
32:01This food is lovely, you know.
32:03Yeah, is it? Oh, yeah.
32:05Well, you're staying away from the curry, though. Good idea.
32:07Yeah, Mum said stay away from the curry. Why?
32:09They said they eat cheese.
32:11I'm a bit overambitious
32:13and rather than putting just milk in it,
32:15you're supposed to put milk and some cashew nuts.
32:18I added cream. I thought it wouldn't much matter.
32:21And what happened?
32:23I think it became very rich, obviously, with cream.
32:27Avoided. Really? Yeah. Really?
32:29Cos I've been panting the gal's gone mad
32:31and they still want to do it, it's not touching.
32:33It's like... Have you affected everyone?
32:36I have not heard.
32:38You've got it as well, haven't you? I've got it.
32:40Mum's got it. Mum has got it.
32:42These are the people I've spoken since then.
32:47This week on Netflix,
32:49the most talked-about TV show continued to make an impact.
32:53I haven't stopped thinking about it since I've watched it.
32:56Yeah, because you're thinking about your grandchildren. Yeah, yeah.
32:58I've heard people talking about this third episode.
33:01It's basically, like, trying to understand Jamie and his mind
33:05and how he thinks and sees the world.
33:08Psychology. Psychology.
33:13Deep breath. Right, brace yourself.
33:15SHE INHALES
33:16And that's the girls. Katie.
33:19Who we never met.
33:21They never saw a picture of her.
33:23They just saw her being stabbed.
33:27You OK? Yes.
33:32Hi, Jamie.
33:33I think this is a psychologist, so...
33:35Yes, as a woman,
33:37I'd still be scared going in there on a one-to-one with him,
33:40knowing what he is capable of.
33:42Can I ask you a question?
33:44Of course you can.
33:46Katie, can you get me out of this place?
33:48No, I don't think that's in her job description.
33:50It's very hard to get your head round.
33:53He's stabbed someone seven times.
33:55Two. He's a little boy.
33:57I'm really struggling with that.
34:00The other boy's just schooled four times.
34:02And he walked backwards and forwards and he showered coming in.
34:05Always from Corrie.
34:07Wow. Showered all the way through Corrie.
34:09And we're there. It's not on.
34:11If I did it, if I hurt her, then I'd get it, but I didn't, so...
34:14He's still not admitting to it.
34:16He doesn't think he's done anything wrong.
34:18No. To women, he hasn't done anything wrong.
34:20Jamie, if you do not sit...
34:22HE SCREAMS
34:24This is very real.
34:25He's got anger issues.
34:26You do not control what I fucking...
34:28Look at me now!
34:30Oh, God. Got a nasty streak.
34:32That temper was definitely boiling inside, wasn't it?
34:36He definitely thinks he can do that just cos she's a woman, for sure.
34:39You do not control what I give you in my life!
34:42Get that in the fucking little head of yours!
34:45You can see how fast that changed.
34:47Get that in your little head.
34:48Yeah.
34:49You wouldn't be saying that to a man.
34:51She looks frightened to death.
34:52She looks shocked, as if to say,
34:53where the fucking hell is this coming from?
34:55After Jamie's outburst, it was all calm again
34:58as Bryony continued her questions.
35:01We've established you don't have a girlfriend.
35:03No.
35:04But I don't think I asked before, would you like a girlfriend?
35:0713. Do only 13-year-olds have a girlfriend?
35:10I've seen photos of her.
35:12Have you seen porn photos?
35:14No.
35:15Not porn.
35:16Everyone sees porn.
35:18Everyone sees porn.
35:20That's so nuts.
35:21Just these two girls in my ear that I knew.
35:23No.
35:24Yeah.
35:25Oh, really?
35:26See, this is what they get up until at school.
35:28Was Katie one of those two girls?
35:30Katie's the one who we murdered.
35:32How do you know that?
35:33How did it feel to see that?
35:34No, no, no. How would you guess that?
35:35How do you know that?
35:36So Katie was one of the girls.
35:38The picture got passed around the school.
35:40Snapchat.
35:41Oh, God.
35:42Poor girl.
35:44Jamie, I asked whether you were attracted to women.
35:46Do you think women are attracted to you?
35:48That's a very good question.
35:50Do you feel rejected or whatever from women
35:52and that women aren't going to like you?
35:55Because this is where the hatred is born from, isn't it?
35:58Yeah.
35:59I'm ugly.
36:00He's got no confidence.
36:01Somebody's obviously told him he's ugly
36:03and he's not worth much, which is why he hates women.
36:06So how do you feel about being ugly?
36:09It feels insignificant.
36:10You do think I'm ugly?
36:11I haven't passed judgement on either of those things.
36:13Oh, my gosh.
36:14It's like you're looking for validation, isn't it?
36:16Yeah.
36:17I want to understand you.
36:18To understand mine.
36:19Understand enough mine.
36:20Understand enough mine.
36:21Yes.
36:22Oh, he's getting riled now.
36:23It's going to go again.
36:24The other bloke is much more easy.
36:25OK.
36:26Him checking whether I understand was much easier.
36:28Whether I understand what I did.
36:30Oh, what I did.
36:31He said what I did.
36:33Oh, he's admitted it.
36:35Admitted.
36:36I didn't fucking say that.
36:38Oh.
36:40He knows he's fucked up there now.
36:41He knows he's fucked up there now.
36:47Yeah, see, I put the hands up to the security guy.
36:50I'm dating with Lenny too.
36:51Yeah.
36:52What was that?
36:54Hey?
36:55What the fuck was that?
36:57I'd be so scared of you.
36:59Signal away like a fucking queen, yeah?
37:01Jamie.
37:02Oh, yes.
37:03He doesn't like it.
37:04He doesn't like women in control.
37:05Top dog.
37:06She's the top dog there.
37:07She's in control of everything, and he's just clocked it,
37:09and he's like, oh, I can't handle this.
37:11I need you to sit down.
37:15God, he's actually quite intimidating, isn't he?
37:17Very intimidated.
37:18I feel intimidated.
37:23You little prig.
37:25Oh, shit.
37:26Oh, he's had a nasty bit of work, isn't he?
37:28Bloody hell, you frightened me there.
37:33He enjoyed that.
37:35He's mostly giving her up on his knees.
37:37That's the point, isn't it?
37:39He doesn't want to lose face, you see there.
37:42It's as if he's got a whole gang of blokes next to him.
37:46Watching him.
37:47Are you going to sit down?
37:49Affecting his behaviour.
37:51There's a sort of cyber gang behind him.
37:55I didn't kill her.
37:57You think it is because you've seen the video.
37:59You can't trust videos anymore.
38:01It's all fake news.
38:02I'm not here to judge.
38:03I didn't kill her.
38:04Fake news.
38:05We've heard that before, haven't we?
38:06All I did...
38:09I did ask her out.
38:10There you go.
38:12He's asked her out.
38:13Everyone was calling her sly, you know, or flat or whatever.
38:17So I thought when she was, like, that weak,
38:20she might like me.
38:22Weak and vulnerable.
38:24Now she'll want to go out with me.
38:26Oh.
38:27That's messed up.
38:29Oh, my God.
38:30She just laughed and said,
38:31Oh, I'm not that desperate.
38:32Oh, that got his back up, I bet.
38:35That reminds me of a mag, but I would quote that.
38:37It does.
38:38Men are afraid that women will laugh at them.
38:41Women are afraid that men will kill them.
38:44Deep.
38:46Deep.
38:47She was a bullying bitch, right?
38:49That was the thing.
38:50You see, that night, I didn't touch her.
38:54I could have touched her, but I didn't.
38:57I just...
38:58I had a knife.
39:00She was scared, but I didn't do that.
39:02Oh, God.
39:03Those boys would have touched her.
39:05Christ.
39:06Look at her face.
39:08Oh, look at her face.
39:10She's trying to keep a straight face,
39:12but she's got the realisation of what this lad actually is.
39:16She's heard all she needs to hear, now, hasn't she?
39:18Jamie, this is our last session.
39:20Last session, done.
39:22But what I would encourage you to do...
39:23I don't know why.
39:24..whatever happens next is take advantage of any mental health services...
39:27I don't know why.
39:29No, no, I won't!
39:30..is still part child.
39:33Yeah.
39:34Look at how much he's mistreated her in this conversation,
39:37but he's desperate for her to come back.
39:39Yeah.
39:40No, no, we haven't finished.
39:42No, no.
39:43Part of me feels sad for him.
39:45I feel sad for him.
39:46Of course, he's a wee girl.
39:47It's been rather close.
39:48He's absolutely menaced.
39:49Don't you go fucking telling him all that!
39:51He's going to get...
39:52Oh, my God.
39:54Jamie!
39:55God.
39:59Wow.
40:00Oh.
40:01It's got problems, hasn't it, love?
40:07I mean, you can tell, like, she's a professional
40:09and it's knocked her, hasn't it?
40:10Of course it's knocked her, yeah.
40:11It's become a trend, being a misogynist.
40:16It's like, old Donald Trump, make America great again.
40:19Yeah.
40:20Do you know?
40:21It's scary when somebody like that gets in power
40:24and says things like, grab him by the pussy.
40:26Do you know what I mean?
40:27It, like, makes it acceptable, doesn't it?
40:30I think of my teenage years in school,
40:32I was forever rejected.
40:34No-one was ever interested in me.
40:36And I had my heart broken every minute of the day, always.
40:40But I kind of, while I thought, well, I'm still better than that,
40:43until I had enough friends and people around me to go,
40:46well, go and play Dungeons and Dragons.
40:49It's probably why they didn't fancy me.
40:51But there were other things you could get on with in life
40:54and it wasn't a wall of influence.
40:57We also weren't in the most popular group at school.
41:03Well, you might have been.
41:05I know, I used to build for you.
41:10Do you want a crumpet?
41:12Oh, I would love a crumpet, Lee.
41:14Best friends, Jenny and Lee.
41:16I have butter, cheese...
41:18As long as it's not Mermaid.
41:20No, it's not Mermaid.
41:21No, I have it with cheese.
41:23Oh, it's quite nice.
41:25Butter and everything, but not jam.
41:29Wow.
41:31I hate jam.
41:34Oh, what is that?
41:36What?
41:37Oh, he's mad.
41:40I'm going to piss me.
41:41That is the worst thing you've ever given me.
41:43Oh, that is the worst.
41:45I'm not having no health.
41:46Don't ask me for anything.
41:50I'm suffering.
41:53On Thursday night, Yorkshire's finest
41:55were up to their necks in it on Channel 5.
41:58Wasn't it the vets on the...
42:00Was it last Wednesday, wasn't it?
42:01Yeah, with Bob.
42:02We had to do the walking shame,
42:03Bob's put weight on him, he was on a diet.
42:05You went out with a vet for a little while, didn't you?
42:08No.
42:09No, you didn't, did you?
42:10No.
42:11Was it a doctor?
42:12No.
42:13You need to up your dating instinct.
42:14You're not wrong there, I know.
42:16You're missing the trick.
42:17I'd like to go out with a vet,
42:18and he's saying,
42:19oh, got to cancel dinner,
42:20put your wellies in, we're going to go lambing.
42:22I'd love that.
42:27Guess what I saw the other day,
42:28flew in front of the car,
42:29at a safe distance,
42:30I don't know how to say it.
42:31What?
42:32Owl.
42:33Really?
42:34Yeah.
42:35I don't know whether it was a tawny or barn,
42:36but it was beautiful.
42:37I've just had a call for an emergency car.
42:39It sounds like the farmer's put his hand in,
42:43and he can't feel anything normal.
42:45I'm going to faint even just hearing what they have to do
42:47to make matters even more complicated.
42:49He's had to go off in an emergency himself.
42:51God, there's multiple emergencies, Daniella.
42:53It's an emergency upon an emergency.
42:57But the farmer's gone to another emergency.
42:59That's what I mean.
43:00But this is an emergency.
43:01Well, you've got to prioritise your emergencies, haven't you?
43:04But they're all emergencies.
43:07Lovely.
43:08Right then, missus.
43:09Let's have a feel.
43:10Oh.
43:11Oh, pork out.
43:12He's getting his sleeve all up his arm, Steve,
43:15because he's going in.
43:16Yep.
43:19Still messing around?
43:20Straight up there.
43:21I thought they put a glove on.
43:24But he ain't got no glove on.
43:28Or has a puppet over it.
43:30You ought to be able to fucking hand up your arse.
43:32Yeah.
43:33Normally, calves come out in a superman position
43:35with the feet punching forward and the head down.
43:38Don't be telling us.
43:39Just get on with the bloody job.
43:40The poor woman's in pain.
43:42This head is all the way back.
43:44Oh, my God.
43:46So that's like breech birth in a human, I think.
43:49Breach position.
43:50Yeah, where the head is at the wrong end.
43:52So I need to get my hand in
43:54and hook that head round as best I can.
43:56It's a good job he's got long arms, isn't it?
43:58I'd be no good at that.
43:59You wouldn't reach anything, would you, with them little things?
44:01No.
44:02You'd think they'd have some sort of implement,
44:04like a pasta spoon to collect his head and pull it out.
44:08I can tell you're a man talking about birthing.
44:12This is just in the way.
44:13Oh, OK.
44:15Wait, did he just say the shirt is in the way?
44:19I've got it, I've got it, I've got it.
44:21He's got it?
44:22Oh, come on, come on!
44:23Right.
44:24Crikey.
44:25Crikey indeed, mate, eh?
44:27All right, calf, let's have you out.
44:29Oh, here we go.
44:30I mean, this should be like a sausage down the M6,
44:32after all that pulling and tugging.
44:34Right, here we come.
44:36Go on.
44:37Pull!
44:38Pull!
44:39Come on!
44:40Pull!
44:41Pull!
44:42Go on, calf, come on!
44:43Come on!
44:44Jesus Christ, what's that?
44:48Fucking hell!
44:49Fucking hell!
44:53It looks like a dead body!
44:56Oh, my God, it's not alive, is it?
44:58It couldn't be.
45:00Oh, we're alive!
45:01We're alive!
45:02Oh!
45:03Oh!
45:04Come on, get that mucus out.
45:06Why's he spilling it?
45:08What the fuck's going on?
45:10Is that what you do?
45:11It's like dancing on ice.
45:13It's like dancing on ice.
45:14I know.
45:16Look at the mob watching him.
45:17What the fuck are you doing?
45:21Come on.
45:22Come on.
45:23Come on, calf.
45:24This is some frontline stuff going on here, by the way.
45:30Come on, man.
45:31This guy, man, he needs a knighthood.
45:33Yeah, yeah, he's my hero.
45:35I'm not having a dead calf.
45:37I'm not having it.
45:38No, me neither.
45:39Come on.
45:40Come on.
45:41Let's just stimulate those reflexes.
45:45Oh!
45:48That's good.
45:49That's good.
45:50Yes!
45:51Oh, he's moving out!
45:53Howard looks dead.
45:55How was that inside a box?
46:00What an ordeal.
46:01A bit of a hero, isn't he?
46:03Do you know what one doctor once said to me?
46:06Oh, I've just tickled his head.
46:09And honestly, my soul nearly lost my body.
46:12Did she say that while being up there?
46:14Yeah.
46:15No.
46:16I went, ugh.
46:17I just said, just get him out, please.
46:20Along with your hand.
46:25Well, before adolescence, the Jack Thorne-Steven Graham team
46:29brought us The Virtues, and that's streaming right now.
46:33Well, the trek's nearly done, the prize fund is almost theirs,
46:36but Paddy's been saving the most fiendishly irresistible temptations
46:40for the end game.
46:41The final part, Sunday, Monday at night.
46:44Back to tonight, and Miranda Hart, Jack Whitehall, Michael McIntyre,
46:47and loads, loads, loads, loads, loads more
46:50on the Big Fat Quiz.
46:51Very best bits next.