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AmusantTranscription
00:00Gather round, Han family. You've been summoned to Han Manor for our most cherished tradition, the annual ranking of the Han children.
00:10Here, here!
00:11Shrewsbury, please remove last year's rankings. You each have one minute to defend your value.
00:17Well, I just made partner at the firm. Totally crushed this greedy class action suit. It's every American's right to own a wig factory that poisons the river.
00:27Tough. I've decided to end my seven-figure modeling contract to pursue my hobby, pediatric brain surgery.
00:33Our size zero is turning into a hero, Brett.
00:36I have a new job too. It's super important. I just can't talk about it or the nanobots will explode my brain.
00:42Ah, yes, your classified job. I blame myself for not adequately blaming the staff we hired to raise you.
00:50You've always been an embarrassment. Luckily, we have Jag here to carry the family name.
00:55My campaign for Senator airs its first commercial on Patriot News this week.
01:00Breaking report. Are all your currently held opinions correct?
01:04Yes.
01:05Called it!
01:06This campaign could not exist without all of your help.
01:09Of course!
01:10We love you, bro.
01:11Wait, you're all working on Jag's campaign? Why didn't anybody ask me to help?
01:15With what? Slowly draining your trust fund? Shrewsbury, up top!
01:19Savage burn, sir.
01:21Ah, no offense, Brett, but you've always been kind of a spineless yes-man.
01:24Oh, come on! I'm not spineless. The doctor said my spine is just huggably soft.
01:29Well, Muffy just had puppies, so that puts her in a tie for fourth. Shall we vote?
01:34All in favor of Muffy in fourth?
01:36Aye!
01:38Ugh. Aye.
01:40Break out the will. That dog is getting a house in Cape Cod!