Category
🦄
Art et designTranscription
00:00Ablongs, down in the valley where a chemical spill
00:05Came from the people living up on a hill
00:10There's a family by the land sale with hazardous foam
00:14In their happy glowing home
00:19Ablongs
00:23Ah, the weekend.
00:25Let's take a load off the old dogs.
00:29And now for the sweet non-sexual embrace of Mr. Sandman.
00:35Drive me somewhere, drive me anywhere, just drive me!
00:38Pickles, I spent every Saturday chauffeuring the family.
00:40Couldn't you do it just this once? I was supine.
00:43Let me see.
00:45I'm good for welding, but driving's out of the question.
00:48Don't worry, Dad. As soon as we get our license, you won't have to drive us around anymore.
00:51Now, will you drive us to driver's nipples?
00:53Ed, driver's Ed.
00:54Sorry, I'm a teenage boy. I think about nipples every nine seconds.
00:59As long as we're in the neighborhood, I can stop at the hattery.
01:02I dropped off my fedora to be blocked and re-feathered 14 years ago
01:05and I've been too busy chauffeuring everyone to pick it up.
01:08Hmm, seems to be a ramen house now.
01:11Maybe it's a good time to try out my Mandarin.
01:13Dad, we're gonna be late for driver's Ed.
01:15Gong hai, fat choy!
01:17What is wrong with you?
01:18I'm sorry, my desire to wear a hat and speak Chinese
01:21is getting in the way of my duties as a father.
01:23Just drive!
01:28Bienvenue!
01:29Vous me connaissez comme le coach.
01:30J'apprends aussi l'éducation sexuelle et le driver's Ed.
01:32Est-ce que quelqu'un peut me dire ce que c'est?
01:35C'est le driver's Ed, coach.
01:36Super!
01:37Alors je n'aurai pas besoin de ce pénis et de la formaldehyde.
01:39Vu que vous êtes des enfants riches et que vos parents payent mon salaire,
01:42nous allons répondre aux problèmes de conduite qui sont importants pour vous.
01:45Tout d'abord, comment opérer un 6 CD changer dans la série Beamer 700?
01:49Nous avons juste un 8-track avec un ancien tapeur étranger dans l'intérieur.
01:54Il n'y a pas de sens, vous garçons, d'être dans cette classe.
01:56Qu'allez-vous lire à l'extérieur sur Chlamydia?
02:01Donc voilà comment les Panda Bears sont devenus les Dairy Queens
02:05et pourquoi j'ai besoin d'un avocat.
02:07Hmm.
02:08Beth, Jeff, comment va votre journée?
02:10Ça a mal marché. Nous avons été tirés du driver's Ed.
02:12Nous n'allons jamais obtenir notre licence.
02:13Nous allons rater tout.
02:14Les conduites, les pas de conduite, les pas de conduite.
02:16Vous n'avez pas besoin d'une classe pour apprendre à conduire.
02:18Je vais vous enseigner.
02:19Père, c'est un peu fou que vous conduisez du tout.
02:21Je ne sais pas si vous devriez enseigner.
02:22Oh, nonsense.
02:23Sweetheart, this roast is fantabulous.
02:26It's spaghetti.
02:28And it's a-delicious.
02:33All right now, hands at 10, 2, 4 and 8.
02:36Remember, you want to pull over every couple of blocks
02:38to make sure you're not dragging anything.
02:40I like to tap my horn constantly
02:41just to let the other drivers know I'm around.
02:43Look out! Stop sign!
02:47Son of a...
02:49Oh, lordy.
02:50All right, let me do the talking.
02:52I know how to handle Johnny Law.
02:54Guess you know why I pulled you over.
02:56You need to have that baby secured in a car seat.
02:58Now you see here, I am not...
03:06All right, I have to sit next to the driver.
03:10How are we going to do this?
03:12You can sit on our middle leg.
03:13Congratulations, you pass.
03:16Oh, your first driver's licence.
03:18My boys are growing up.
03:20Soon you'll be drafted
03:21and go off to fight and die
03:23in some godforsaken rice paddy
03:25and for what? For what?
03:29Dad, she's doing it again.
03:31Pickles, dear, good news.
03:32Two more designated drivers in the house.
03:34Mommy's back.
03:35Hold on, we are not a taxi service.
03:38Yeah, we have teenage stuff to do,
03:39like hanging out at the abandoned quarry with our friends.
03:41Yeah, and hitting on quarry skanks.
03:43Now, boys, part of growing up
03:45is learning to think of others
03:46instead of just yourselves.
03:47And skanks.
03:49I have a list of errands that need to be run.
03:52Boys, do you want to get into heaven or not?
03:54All right, but I get to drive.
03:56Uh, dude, that presents certain complications.
03:59Ah, that should do her.
04:01Boys, don't forget to thank your Grammy
04:03for the use of her chair.
04:04Thanks, Grammy.
04:08Okay, next stop, Michael Wong's Bar Mitzvah.
04:12Oh.
04:13Ah, poodles.
04:14Sorry, old gal.
04:17Okay, first stop, the abandoned quarry.
04:19Dad said no.
04:20You're such a mama's boy.
04:21And you're a latent homosexual.
04:27Well, well, well.
04:28I've seen driver's side airbags,
04:30but I've never seen a driver's side douchebag.
04:32Care to put your motor where your mouth is?
04:35Let's drag.
04:41Ah!
04:57We're headed for the gorge!
04:58Hit the brakes!
04:59I am hitting the brakes!
05:00That's the gas, doofus!
05:01No, that's your leg, doofus!
05:02Uh, guys?
05:04Uh, uh, uh.
05:05Uh, uh.
05:09Ah!
05:10Dad!
05:13Ah!
05:18Ah!
05:21Ah!
05:22Ah!
05:27Guess we better go home and tell Dad.
05:34Hey, it's my turn to drive.
05:37A car accident?
05:39This is what happens when you put yourselves before family.
05:42I told you to stay away from that gravel pit.
05:44It's a quarry, Dad.
05:45Can the sassafras, mister?
05:47I already cutted some switches.
05:49I left some sharp points on them.
05:51So this dent, is it noticeable?
05:57My goodness!
05:58That's gonna rattle like the dickens.
06:00And we have no money for a new car.
06:02Now, Bob, we should just thank the Lord our boys weren't hurt.
06:06Anyone see my Chippendales lighter?
06:08I think I saw it in the front seat.
06:10Oh, why me? Why me?
06:12You'll be okay on the bus, sweetie.
06:14I wrote our number on the back of your underwear.
06:16Or someone's underwear.
06:18I'm looking forward to my bus ride.
06:20Public transportation is a great place for community interaction.
06:23You're getting on, slug boy.
06:25You bet I am.
06:26And I brought my magnetic checkers.
06:28God love him. He's gonna get his ass kicked.
06:35Oh!
06:38Mister bus driver, I'd like to disembark.
06:40We don't stop here.
06:41But we are stopped.
06:42Gosh, and to think it was my lifelong dream to be a good bus driver.
06:48Somebody drop a bottle?
06:51Thanks for nothing!
06:53I bet all the bagels are gone.
06:56Where's everyone going?
06:57Our shift is over, Bob. You missed the whole day.
07:00Well, fiddlesticks and coffee pots.
07:02Wanna lift home?
07:03I got crackers.
07:05Thanks, James.
07:06But I'd hate to waste this free bus transfer.
07:09Oblong!
07:10I know, sir.
07:11I'm terribly sorry I missed work.
07:12You missed work?
07:13I was just gonna yell at you to loosen some phlegm.
07:15Will I still get paid for today?
07:18Ah, there we go.
07:23You get rid of that loogie?
07:24Thankfully.
07:25Well, we should be going.
07:26Our dinner reservations are for seven.
07:27Punch me in the stomach as hard as you can.
07:29Thank you, no.
07:31Sit on my back, Sally!
07:34Mayor, since you're here,
07:35why don't I give you your semi-annual bribe?
07:38Are you nuts?
07:39Let's get out of here.
07:40I'll attract attention.
07:41Sir, you're wearing a Mexican wrestling mask.
07:43Just put it in the usual spot.
07:45Now, hit me in the groin with that golf club.
07:51That hurts more than I thought it would.
07:53Hello, I'm home.
07:56Bob, it's one in the morning.
07:58A little mix-up with the buses.
08:00I'm sorry.
08:01It's all right.
08:02I'll be back.
08:03I'll be back.
08:04I'll be back.
08:05I'll be back.
08:06I'll be back.
08:07I'll be back.
08:08I'll be back.
08:09A little mix-up with the buses.
08:10No worries.
08:11Now I've got a transit schedule.
08:13According to this,
08:14the only bus that'll get you to work on time
08:16leaves in nine minutes.
08:18Right.
08:19Well, I'm off.
08:21I wonder if I have time to use the facilities.
08:23Oops, schedule's upside down.
08:25You only have six minutes.
08:26I'll just pee in the bus like everyone else.
08:30Poor baby.
08:33I know it's not true,
08:34but somehow I feel like this is our fault.
08:36Well, like you said, it's not true,
08:38but I'm going to bed.
08:40Hello, I'm Sheriff Pepper.
08:42Here to invite you to the government auction of seized property.
08:45We got it all.
08:46Boozies, live ostriches, pinky rings,
08:48whore clothes,
08:49or drive home in your very own getaway car
08:51for as low as $50.
08:52See?
08:53Crime does pay.
08:54For you.
08:55This is how we can make it up to Dad.
08:57Yeah, he'd love a pinky ring.
08:59Ow.
09:05This is so exciting.
09:06I've never seen so many scumbags in one place.
09:08Okay, everybody,
09:09this little beauty was used in a recent kidnapping.
09:11New paint, tires,
09:12and look at all this trunk room.
09:34Next up, we have this green sedan.
09:35It looks like government issues,
09:36so you can only imagine
09:37what kind of sick crap went down in there.
09:39Let's start the bidding at,
09:40let's say, $30.
09:48What the hell is he saying?
09:49I don't know. I'll ask.
09:50Sold for $50.25.
09:52Dude, we only have 50.
09:54I have a quarter.
09:55Give it.
09:56Only if it can be my car, too.
09:58Fine, ass-butt.
10:02I'm not going to kid you, folks.
10:03This car has some problems.
10:04Do I hear a penny?
10:05No.
10:07I can't believe you bought us this car.
10:09My boys bought me this car.
10:11They're lovely, lovely boys.
10:12Dad, will you shut up?
10:16There seems to be some play in the wheel.
10:21Just what I thought.
10:22You got a big bag of money
10:23jammed in your steering column.
10:24Lordy.
10:25What will that cost to fix?
10:27Wait, did you just say
10:28there's a big bag of money in my car?
10:30No.
10:31He said there's a big bag of money in our car.
10:33We're rich.
10:34Yeah, we're rich.
10:35It's part my car, too.
10:36Yeah, we're all rich except for Dad.
10:38Hold on.
10:39That money belongs to somebody.
10:41We have to take it to the authorities.
10:42Our reward will be a hearty handshake
10:44and the attendant warm feeling
10:45that comes with a job well done.
10:47Let's stuff him in a mailbox.
10:50And after that nice letter carrier let me out,
10:52we came straight here.
10:54Well, the car's title has
10:55the three boys' names on it, Mr. Avlon.
10:57Legally, the $80,000 belongs to them.
10:59Yeah!
11:00Sheriff, are you sure?
11:02Sure as any man can be
11:03who had a bottle of pinot grigio for lunch.
11:05What do you mean sold?
11:06But my hard-earned bribe money was in that car.
11:09I'll pulverize you.
11:14You know you're not hitting me, right?
11:16Really? It sounds like I am.
11:20No, you're just stomping your foot
11:21and stroking me with the soft part of your arm.
11:23It's actually quite soothing.
11:25So anyway, I had a talk with them
11:27and I'm confident they're going to use the money responsibly
11:29for the good of us all.
11:30Avlon!
11:31What is wrong with you?
11:37Milo, that was a $9 coffee table.
11:39Here's a hunsky. Keep the change.
11:41No, no.
11:42I'd rather you work it off doing chores and such.
11:45Bob, are you nuts?
11:46They've got 80 large.
11:47I want a taste.
11:48Pickles, this is the perfect opportunity
11:50for them to learn a lesson
11:51about putting others before yourself.
11:53When they see us going without,
11:54they won't be able to enjoy that filthy lucre.
11:57Watch it, mister.
11:58That's an $11 hi-fi.
12:03Oh, Kyoko.
12:04The ears are just melting away.
12:07More unagi, please.
12:08That's eel.
12:09I know what it is.
12:10Cancel the unagi.
12:12You know, I've got a terrible crick in my neck.
12:14Maybe...
12:15Sorry, Mom. You can't afford her.
12:16So, have you boys learned your lesson about sharing?
12:19He's poor as a church mouse.
12:22Papa-san look like sushi.
12:29Mayor Bledsoe?
12:30Hello. Is your daddy home?
12:32Gosh, Doggett, I am the daddy.
12:34Oh, well, uh...
12:35I noticed a vintage government sedan out front
12:38and as it happens, I'm something of a K-Car nut.
12:41Are you interested in selling?
12:42I'll go as high as $2,000.
12:44Well, I depend on that car to get to work,
12:46so I'm afraid...
12:47Sold!
12:48I can use this chump change
12:49to block the oil off my forehead.
12:52It's not here.
12:54Where is it?
12:56Where's my money?
12:57I want my money!
13:05Do you think this has something to do
13:06with the $80,000 you found in that car?
13:08No, I'm sure it's just all the years of steroid abuse.
13:12Can I watch Velvet the Warrior on one of those?
13:15No.
13:16But you're both watching the same thing.
13:18That's because we're rich.
13:19We are still rich, aren't we?
13:21Stinking.
13:22Here are your pancakes, sweetie.
13:23Those look good.
13:25Lay a stack on me, woman!
13:27Sure.
13:28For selfish people, they're $1,000 a stack.
13:30I'll sell you mine for $800.
13:31Beth, I'm trying to teach the boys a lesson.
13:33I'll give you both $200 to shut up.
13:35Done!
13:36Boys, I won't have you corrupting the womenfolk.
13:38Dad, why don't you just let us enjoy our money?
13:40It's not like it's hurting anyone.
13:43Somebody threw a rock!
13:45I bet it's those angry lesbians
13:46who live across the street.
13:49Sheriff Pepper, thank God you're here.
13:51Someone just threw a rock through our window.
13:53Hmm...
13:54Did it look anything like this?
13:57Uh, it was a different window,
13:59but yes, pretty much like that.
14:01You're the one who threw the first rock!
14:03That money you found is the mayor's bribe money.
14:05Every public servant in the city gets a cut
14:07and we all want our share.
14:09But Sheriff, you're the one who said
14:10the money belongs to my boys.
14:12I can't force them to give it up.
14:14Did you just shock me?
14:15I don't know.
14:16Did it feel something like this?
14:18Stop doing that!
14:24C'est vraiment froid dans cette maison
14:26depuis que la ville a arrêté le gaz.
14:29Je pense que j'ai la pneumonie.
14:32C'est la pneumonie, Beth.
14:33C'est trop froid pour la paix silencieuse.
14:37Bien, on dirait qu'ils sont enfin
14:38en train de récupérer notre déchets.
14:39Je suppose qu'ils se rendent compte
14:40de combien de pervers ils sont.
14:45Oui, les gens apprennent des enseignements
14:47partout dans le quartier.
14:48Regarde, Bob,
14:49nous devons retrouver notre argent.
14:52Laissez-moi parler avec les garçons.
14:54Beth, Chip, Milo!
14:57Pourquoi vous n'êtes pas froides?
14:59Nous avons acheté des vêtements spéciaux
15:00de la NASA.
15:01Il y a aussi un sac de poisson.
15:02Je vais y aller maintenant.
15:04Oui, très bien.
15:05Écoutez, les garçons,
15:06peut-être que vous devriez
15:07retrouver l'argent au maire.
15:08Surtout en lumière
15:09du harcèlement merveilleux et tout.
15:10Est-ce que vous dites
15:11qu'on doit le retrouver?
15:12Non, je dis juste
15:13que c'est la bonne chose à faire.
15:15Oh, alors oubliez-le.
15:17On va laisser ça percoler pour un moment.
15:21Qu'est-ce que c'est que ça?
15:25Attention, enfants.
15:26Comme nous n'avons pas
15:27notre argent,
15:28acceptez-donc
15:29ce cadeau de l'argent.
15:35Oh, c'est trop fort!
15:37Oh, ces garçons
15:38sont vraiment forts!
15:39Prenons notre argent
15:40et sortons de là!
15:52Je ne peux pas m'aider
15:53mais j'ai l'impression
15:54que vous n'aimez que nous
15:55parce qu'on a de l'argent.
15:56Docteur, vous voulez un massage?
15:57Hey, je veux lui donner
15:58un massage.
15:59Moi aussi!
16:00Oubliez-le!
16:01Les filles, les filles,
16:02détendez-vous.
16:03Il y a plein de pieds
16:04à traverser.
16:07Wow, un jacuzzi
16:08rempli d'herbes.
16:09Je pourrais m'habiller de ça.
16:11Ah, voici le vert,
16:12c'est Randy.
16:13Oui, j'aurais apprécié
16:14si vous n'aviez pas mangé
16:15nul d'entre ceux-là.
16:16Et le meilleur de tous les jours,
16:17c'est de manger
16:18des herbes.
16:19Et les herbes,
16:20elles fondent dans votre bouche,
16:21pas dans vos mains.
16:23Malheureusement,
16:24la même chose ne peut pas
16:25se dire de l'argent.
16:26Coach!
16:27Sparkler!
16:30Ah!
16:31Quel fou a dit
16:32que l'argent ne peut pas
16:33trouver le bonheur?
16:34Ça ne me déplaît plus.
16:37Ah!
16:38Un feu d'argent!
16:39Un feu d'argent!
16:40Oh mon Dieu,
16:41ça brûle comme du papier!
16:46Cours! Tu cours!
16:48C'est du candé!
16:49Quelqu'un,
16:50sauve le candé!
16:53Dieu nous aide
16:54si ça se diffuse
16:55dans les vêtements du gym.
16:59Trop tard.
17:02Mes bébés,
17:03vous allez bien?
17:04Oui, mais notre argent
17:05n'est pas là.
17:08Tout le monde est sorti, chef!
17:09Bien.
17:10Maintenant,
17:11regardons le feu.
17:12Wow!
17:13C'est génial.
17:14J'espère qu'il y a
17:15un retour.
17:17Désolé.
17:18Pas de kicky-backy,
17:19pas de fire-putty-outty.
17:21Ça n'a pas été
17:22comme je l'espérais.
17:23Est-ce que tout le monde
17:24est fou ou c'est moi?
17:25J'ai essayé d'apprendre
17:26à mes enfants
17:27la valeur de donner
17:28et de servir à d'autres,
17:29mais je suppose
17:30que mes croyances
17:31sont tombées
17:32sur les spats
17:33et les Betamax.
17:34La gêne
17:35et la selfishness
17:36sont la mode du jour.
17:37Vous gagnez.
17:38Je vous promets
17:39que je vais payer
17:40votre argent si ça me prend
17:41le reste de ma vie.
17:43Je crois encore
17:44dans vos fausses idées, père.
17:45Oui, moi aussi.
17:46Je suis un peu déçue.
17:48Voici, nous avons
17:4937 dollars restants.
17:51Tout ce que j'ai
17:52c'est cet oeuf Fabergé,
17:53mais vous êtes bienvenue.
17:55Je pense que je peux
17:56vous donner quelques dollars.
17:57Je vais m'y mettre.
17:58Moi aussi.
18:03Ça va être
18:04un merveilleux Noël
18:05après tout.
18:06Bob, c'est presque
18:07un an.
18:09Je veux un veste.
18:11Monsieur le maire,
18:12au nom de toute la ville,
18:13s'il vous plaît,
18:14acceptez cette bribe
18:15d'amour.
18:16Mon Dieu,
18:17vous pauvres gens
18:18destitués vous avez
18:19donné vos petits dollars
18:20pour moi ?
18:22Je ne sais pas
18:23quoi dire,
18:24sauf...
18:26Maintenant,
18:27sortez ce feu !
18:31Ah bien,
18:32on prend le prochain.
18:34Eh bien,
18:35allons-y chez nous.
18:36Comment ?
18:37On ne peut pas tous
18:38se mettre sur ce vélo
18:39et je ne fais pas
18:40deux voyages.
18:41Voici, vous pouvez
18:42récupérer
18:43beaucoup d'argent.
18:45Je voterai pour lui encore.
19:13Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada