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Art et designTranscription
00:00Aux Blancs, dans la vallée où un déchirant de chemins
00:05venait des gens qui vivaient sur une colline
00:10Il y a une famille qui vit dans un bâtiment
00:12avec de la pomme désastreuse
00:14dans leur maison brillante et heureuse
00:19Aux Blancs
00:23Ah, le week-end.
00:25Prenons un coup de main sur les vieux chiens.
00:28Et maintenant, pour l'amour non-sexuelle de M. Sandman.
00:34Accroche-moi ! Accroche-moi partout !
00:36Juste accroche-moi !
00:37Pickles, j'ai passé tous les matins chauffant la famille.
00:40Tu ne pouvais pas le faire juste une fois ?
00:42J'étais supine.
00:43Laissez-moi voir.
00:45Je suis bon pour le charbon,
00:46mais la conduite n'est pas la question.
00:47Ne t'inquiète pas, père.
00:48Dès qu'on obtient notre licence,
00:49tu ne devras plus nous conduire.
00:50Tu nous conduiras à nos nipples.
00:52Ed, driver's Ed.
00:53Désolé, je suis un garçon de teenage.
00:55Je pense à mes nipples chaque 9 secondes.
00:59Depuis que nous sommes dans le quartier,
01:00je peux arrêter à l'hatterie.
01:01J'ai lâché mon fedora pour être bloqué
01:03et refaite il y a 14 ans,
01:04et j'ai été trop occupé à chauffer tout le monde
01:06pour le récupérer.
01:08Hmm, ça semble être une maison de ramen maintenant.
01:10Peut-être que c'est un bon moment pour essayer mon mandarin.
01:12Père, on va être en retard pour driver's Ed.
01:16Qu'y a-t-il de mal avec toi ?
01:17Je suis désolé.
01:18Mon désir de porter un masque et de parler chinois
01:20est en train de m'empêcher de faire mes devoirs comme père.
01:22Juste essaye !
01:23Salut !
01:28Bienvenue !
01:29La plupart d'entre vous me connaissent comme le coach.
01:30J'apprends aussi l'éducation sexuelle et le driver's Ed.
01:32Est-ce que quelqu'un peut me dire
01:33lequel d'entre vous c'est ?
01:34C'est le driver's Ed, coach.
01:35Super !
01:36Alors je n'aurai pas besoin
01:37de ce pénis en formaldehyde.
01:39Vu que vous êtes des enfants de montagne riches
01:40et que vos parents payent mon salaire,
01:42nous allons vous adresser aux problèmes de conduite
01:43qui sont importants pour vous.
01:44Tout d'abord,
01:45comment opérer un 6 CD changer
01:47dans la série Beamer 700 ?
01:49Nous avons juste un 8-track
01:50avec un ancien tapeur étranger coincé dedans.
01:53Il n'y a pas de sens,
01:54vous, les garçons, d'être dans cette classe.
01:55Pourquoi ne pas aller dans la salle
01:56et lire à propos de Chlamydia ?
02:01Alors, c'est comme ça
02:02que les Panda Bears sont arrivés
02:03dans la Dairy Queen
02:04et pourquoi j'ai besoin d'un avocat !
02:07Beth, Chip, comment va votre journée ?
02:09Ça n'a pas marché.
02:10On a été tirés du driver's Ed.
02:11On ne va jamais obtenir notre licence.
02:12On va rater tout.
02:13Les conduites, les pas de conduite,
02:14les pas de conduite.
02:16Vous n'avez pas besoin d'une classe
02:17pour apprendre à conduire.
02:18Je vais vous enseigner.
02:19Père, c'est un peu fou
02:20que tu conduises du tout.
02:21Je ne sais pas si vous devriez
02:22vous enseigner.
02:23Oh, c'est nul !
02:24Chérie, ce rosti est fantastique !
02:26C'est de la spaghetti.
02:28Et c'est délicieux !
02:33D'accord, maintenant.
02:34Les mains à 10, 2, 4 et 8.
02:36Rappelez-vous,
02:37vous devez tirer
02:38chaque couple de blocs
02:39pour s'assurer que vous ne
02:40ne bougez pas.
02:41J'aime taper mon horne
02:42constamment,
02:43pour que les autres conduits
02:44sachent que je suis là.
02:45Attention !
02:46L'heure d'arrêt !
02:47Son de...
02:49Oh, mon Dieu !
02:50All right, let me do the talking.
02:52I know how to handle Johnny Law.
02:54Guess you know why
02:55I pulled you over.
02:56You need to have that baby
02:57secured in a car seat.
02:58Now, you see here,
02:59I am not...
03:05All right, I have to sit
03:06next to the driver.
03:09How are we going to do this ?
03:11You can sit
03:12on our middle leg.
03:13Congratulations, you passed.
03:15Oh, your first driver's license !
03:18Since my boys are growing up,
03:20soon you'll be drafted
03:21and go off to fight and die
03:23in some godforsaken rice paddy
03:25and for what ?
03:26For what ?
03:29Dad, she's doing it again !
03:31Pickles, dear, good news.
03:32Two more designated
03:33drivers in the house.
03:34Mommy's back !
03:35Hold on,
03:36we are not a taxi service.
03:38Yeah, we have teenage stuff to do,
03:39like hanging out
03:40at the abandoned quarry
03:41with our friends.
03:42Yeah, and hitting on quarry skanks.
03:43Now, boys,
03:44part of growing up
03:45is learning to think of others
03:46instead of just yourselves.
03:47And skanks.
03:48I have a list of errands
03:49that need to be run.
03:52Boys, do you want to get
03:53into heaven or not ?
03:54All right, but I get to drive.
03:55Uh, dude,
03:56that presents certain complications.
03:59Ah, that should do her.
04:00Boys, don't forget
04:01to thank your Grammy
04:02for the use of her chair.
04:03Thanks, Grammy.
04:08Okay, next stop,
04:09Michael Wong's Bar Mitzvah.
04:11Oh !
04:12Ha !
04:13Poodles.
04:14Sorry, old gal.
04:17Okay, first stop,
04:18the abandoned quarry.
04:19Dad said no !
04:20You're such a mama's boy.
04:21And you're a latent homosexual.
04:27Well, well, well,
04:28I've seen driver's side airbags,
04:29but I've never seen
04:30a driver's side douche bag.
04:32Care to put your motor
04:33where your mouth is ?
04:34Let's drag !
04:35Let's drag !
04:36Let's drag !
04:37Let's drag !
04:38Let's drag !
04:39Let's drag !
04:57We're headed for the gorge !
04:58Hit the brakes !
04:59I am hitting the brakes !
05:00That's the gas, stupid !
05:01No, that's your mag, doofus !
05:02Uh, guys ?
05:05Look at me !
05:06I'm turning !
05:10Dad !
05:11It's okay !
05:27Guess we better go home
05:28and tell Dad.
05:34Hey, it's my turn to drive !
05:37A car accident ?
05:39This is what happens
05:40when you put yourselves
05:41before family !
05:42I told you to stay away
05:43from that gravel pit !
05:44It's a quarry, Dad.
05:45Can the sassafras, mister !
05:47I already cutted some switches.
05:49I left some sharp points on them.
05:51So this dent,
05:52is it noticeable ?
05:57My goodness !
05:58That's gonna rattle
05:59like the dickens !
06:00And we have no money
06:01for a new car !
06:02Now, Bob,
06:03we should just thank the Lord
06:04our boys weren't hurt.
06:06Anyone see my Chippendales lighter ?
06:08I think I saw it
06:09in the front seat !
06:10Oh, why me ?
06:11Why me ?
06:12You'll be okay on the bus, sweetie.
06:14I wrote our number
06:15on the back of your underwear.
06:16Or someone's underwear.
06:18I'm looking forward
06:19to my bus ride.
06:20Public transportation
06:21is a great place
06:22for community interaction.
06:23You're getting on, slug boy !
06:25You bet I am !
06:26And I brought
06:27my magnetic checkers !
06:30God love him !
06:31He's gonna get his ass kicked !
06:36Oh !
06:39Mr. Bus Driver,
06:40I'd like to disembark.
06:41We don't stop here.
06:42But we are stopped.
06:43Gosh,
06:44and to think it was
06:45my lifelong dream
06:46to be a good bus driver.
06:50Somebody drop a bottle ?
06:53Thanks for nothing !
06:54I bet all the bagels are gone !
06:59Where's everyone going ?
07:00Our shift is over, Bob.
07:01You missed the whole day.
07:03Well, fiddle sticks
07:04and coffee pots.
07:05Wanna lift home ?
07:06I got cracked.
07:07I got crackers.
07:08Thanks, James.
07:09But I'd hate to waste
07:10this free bus transfer.
07:12Oblong !
07:13I know, sir.
07:14I'm terribly sorry
07:15I missed work.
07:16You missed work ?
07:17I was just gonna yell
07:18at you to loosen some phlegm.
07:19Will I still get paid
07:20for today ?
07:26Ah, there we go.
07:30You get rid of that loogie ?
07:32Thankfully.
07:33Well, we should be going.
07:34Our dinner reservations
07:35are for seven.
07:37Thank you, no.
07:39Sit on my back, Sally !
07:41Mayor, since you're here,
07:42why don't I give you
07:43your semi-annual bribe ?
07:45Are you nuts ?
07:46I can't walk out of here
07:47with 80 grand in a bag.
07:48I'll attract attention.
07:50Sir, you're wearing
07:51a Mexican wrestling mask.
07:52Just put it in the usual spot.
07:54Now, hit me in the groin
07:55with that golf club.
08:00That hurts more
08:01than I thought it would.
08:03Hello, I'm home.
08:05Bob, it's one in the morning.
08:07Little mix-up with the buses.
08:08No worries.
08:09Now I've got a transit schedule.
08:11According to this,
08:12the only bus that'll get you
08:13to work on time
08:14leaves in nine minutes.
08:16Right.
08:17Well, I'm off.
08:19I wonder if I have time
08:20to use the facilities.
08:21Oops, schedule's upside down.
08:22You only have six minutes.
08:24I'll just pee in the bus
08:25like everyone else.
08:28Poor baby.
08:31I know it's not true,
08:32but I'm not going
08:33to go to bed.
08:34I know it's not true,
08:35but somehow I feel
08:36like this is our fault.
08:37Well, like you said,
08:38it's not true,
08:39so let's go to bed.
08:41Hello, I'm Sheriff Pepper,
08:42here to invite you
08:43to the government auction
08:44of seized property.
08:45We got it all.
08:46Woozies, live ostriches,
08:47pinky rings,
08:48whore clothes,
08:49or drive home
08:50in your very own getaway car
08:51for as low as $50.
08:52See?
08:53Crime does pay
08:54for you.
08:56This is how we can
08:57make it up to Dad.
08:58Yeah, he'd love a pinky ring.
08:59Ow!
09:04This is so exciting.
09:05I've never seen
09:06so many scumbags
09:07in one place.
09:08Okay, everybody,
09:09this little beauty
09:10was used in a recent kidnapping.
09:11New paint, tires,
09:12and look at all
09:13this trunk room.
09:34Next up,
09:35we have this green sedan.
09:36It looks like government issues,
09:37so you can only imagine
09:38what kind of sick crap
09:39went down in there.
09:40Let's start the bidding
09:41at, let's say, $30.
09:48What the hell is he saying?
09:49I don't know, I'll ask.
09:50Sold for $50.25.
09:52Dude, we only have 50.
09:54I have a quarter.
09:55Give it!
09:56Only if it can be my car, too.
09:58Fine, ass-butt.
10:00I'm not gonna kid you, folks.
10:01This car has some problems.
10:02Do I hear a penny?
10:03No!
10:04I can't believe
10:05you bought us this car.
10:06My boys bought me this car!
10:08They're lovely, lovely boys!
10:09Dad, will you shut up?
10:12Hmm.
10:13There seems to be
10:14some play in the wheel.
10:17Ha-ha.
10:18Just what I thought.
10:19You got a big bag of money
10:20jammed in your steering column.
10:22Lordy.
10:23What will that cost to fix?
10:24Wait!
10:25Did you just say
10:26there's a big bag of money
10:27jammed in your steering column?
10:28Did you just say
10:29there's a big bag of money
10:30in my car?
10:31No.
10:32He said there's a big bag of money
10:33in our car.
10:34We're rich!
10:35Yeah, we're rich!
10:36It's part my car, too.
10:37Yeah, we're all rich,
10:38except for Dad.
10:39Hold on.
10:40That money belongs to somebody.
10:41We have to take it
10:42to the authorities.
10:43Our reward will be
10:44a hearty handshake
10:45and the attendant warm feeling
10:46that comes with a job well done.
10:47Let's stuff them in a mailbox.
10:50And after that nice
10:51letter carrier let me out,
10:53we came straight here.
10:54Well, the car's title
10:55has the three boys' names
10:56on it, Mr. Avlon.
10:57Legally, the $80,000
10:58belongs to them.
10:59Yeah!
11:00Sheriff, are you sure?
11:01Sure as any man can be
11:02who had a bottle of
11:03Pinot Grigio for lunch.
11:04What do you mean sold?
11:06But my hard-earned
11:07bribe money was in that car.
11:08I'll pulverize you!
11:13You, um, know you're
11:14not hitting me, right?
11:15Really?
11:16It sounds like I am.
11:19No, you're just
11:20stomping your foot
11:21and stroking me
11:22with the soft part of your arm.
11:23It's actually quite soothing.
11:24So anyway,
11:25I had a talk with him
11:26and I'm confident
11:27they're going to use
11:28the money responsibly
11:29for the good of us all.
11:30Avlon!
11:31What is wrong with you?
11:37Milo!
11:38That was a $9 coffee table!
11:39Here's a hunsky.
11:40Keep the change.
11:41No, no.
11:42I'd rather you work it off
11:43doing chores and such.
11:44Bob, are you nuts?
11:45They've got 80 large.
11:46I want a taste.
11:47Pickles,
11:48this is the perfect
11:49opportunity for them
11:50to learn a lesson
11:51about putting others
11:52before yourself.
11:53When they see us
11:54going without,
11:55they're going to enjoy
11:56that filthy looker.
11:58Watch it, mister!
11:59That's an $11 hi-fi!
12:04Oh, Kyoko,
12:05the ears are just
12:06melting away.
12:08More unagi, please.
12:09That's eel.
12:10I know what it is.
12:11Cancel the unagi.
12:13You know,
12:14I've got a terrible
12:15crick in my neck.
12:16Maybe...
12:17Sorry, Mom.
12:18You can't afford her.
12:19So, have you boys
12:20learned your lesson
12:21about sharing?
12:22He's poor as a church mouse.
12:23Papa-san
12:24is poor as a church mouse.
12:55Where is it?
12:56Where's my money?
12:57I want my money!
13:05Do you think this has
13:06something to do
13:07with the 80 grand
13:08you found in that car?
13:09No, I'm sure it's
13:10just all the years
13:11of steroid abuse.
13:13Can I watch
13:14Velvet the Warrior
13:15on one of those?
13:16No.
13:17But you're both
13:18watching the same thing.
13:19That's because we're rich.
13:20We are still rich,
13:21aren't we?
13:22Stinking.
13:23Hey, sweetie.
13:24Those look good.
13:25Lay a stack
13:26on me, woman.
13:27Sure.
13:28For selfish people,
13:29they're $1,000 a stack.
13:30I'll sell you mine
13:31for $800.
13:32Beth, I'm trying
13:33to teach the boys a lesson.
13:34I'll give you both
13:35$200 to shut up.
13:36Done.
13:37Boys,
13:38I won't have you
13:39corrupting the womenfolk.
13:40Dad, why don't you
13:41just let us enjoy our money?
13:42It's not like
13:43it's hurting anyone.
13:44Somebody threw a rock.
13:45I bet it's those
13:46angry lesbians
13:47who live across the street.
13:49Sheriff Pepper,
13:50thank God you're here.
13:51Someone just threw
13:52a rock through our window.
13:53Did it look
13:54anything like this?
13:57It was a different window,
13:58but yes,
13:59pretty much like that.
14:01You're the one
14:02who threw the first rock.
14:03That money you found
14:04is the mayor's bribe money.
14:05Every public servant
14:06in the city gets it cut
14:07and we all want our share.
14:08But Sheriff,
14:09you're the one
14:10who said the money
14:11belongs to my boys.
14:12I can't force them
14:13to give it up.
14:14Did you just shock me?
14:15I don't know.
14:16Did it feel
14:17something like this?
14:18Stop doing that.
14:23C'est si froid dans cette maison
14:24depuis que la ville
14:25a arrêté le gaz.
14:27Je pense que
14:28j'ai la pneumonie.
14:30C'est la pneumonie, Beth.
14:31C'est trop froid
14:32pour Silent Peace.
14:35Bien,
14:36on dirait qu'ils
14:37ont enfin récupéré
14:38notre déchets.
14:39Je suppose qu'ils
14:40réalisent
14:41qu'ils sont
14:42des Gilberts.
14:45Oui,
14:46les gens apprennent
14:47des enseignements
14:48partout.
14:49Regarde, Bob,
14:50nous devons
14:51le donner.
14:53Laissez-moi
14:54parler avec les garçons.
14:55Beth, Chip, Milo!
14:58Pourquoi vous n'êtes pas froides?
14:59Nous avons acheté
15:00des déchets spéciaux
15:01de la NASA.
15:02Il y a aussi
15:03une poubelle.
15:04Je vais y aller.
15:05Oui, très bien.
15:06Écoutez, les garçons,
15:07peut-être que vous devriez
15:08le donner au maire,
15:09surtout en lumière
15:10du harcèlement
15:11de la nuit.
15:12Vous dites
15:13qu'on doit
15:14le donner?
15:15Non, je dis juste
15:16que c'est la bonne chose à faire.
15:17Oh, alors oubliez-le.
15:18On va laisser
15:19les garçons
15:20s'occuper d'eux
15:21pendant un moment.
15:22Qu'est-ce que c'est
15:23que ça?
15:25Attention, les garçons,
15:26nous n'avons pas
15:27de déchets spéciaux.
15:28Acceptez, s'il vous plait,
15:29ce cadeau
15:30de l'enfer et de la chaleur.
15:36C'est trop fort!
15:37Ces poubelles
15:38sont vraiment fortes!
15:39Prenons notre argent
15:40et sortons d'ici!
15:50Je ne peux pas m'assurer
15:51que vous n'aimez que nous
15:52parce qu'on a de l'argent.
15:53Duh!
15:54Vous voulez un massage?
15:55Hé!
15:56Je veux lui donner
15:57un massage!
15:58Moi aussi!
15:59Oubliez-le!
16:00Les filles,
16:01les filles, détendez-vous!
16:02Il y a plein de pieds
16:03à tourner!
16:04Non!
16:05Wow!
16:06C'est un jacuzzi
16:07rempli d'ébénards.
16:08Je peux m'habiller de ça.
16:10Ah, voici le jaune,
16:11c'est pour te faire de l'argent.
16:12Oui, j'aurais apprécié
16:13si vous n'aviez pas
16:14mangé un de ceux-là,
16:15parce que c'est trop fort.
16:16Non!
16:17Non!
16:18Je n'ai pas mangé
16:19un de ceux-là.
16:20Dans les meilleures parties,
16:21ils s'éteignent dans votre bouche,
16:22pas dans vos mains.
16:23Malheureusement,
16:24la même chose ne peut pas
16:25être dit d'armes.
16:26Coach!
16:27Sparkler!
16:30Ah!
16:31Quel fou a dit
16:32que l'argent ne peut pas
16:33acheter le bonheur?
16:34Ça ne me plaît plus.
16:37Ah!
16:38Un feu d'argent!
16:39Un feu d'argent!
16:40Oh mon Dieu!
16:41Il brûle comme du papier!
16:46Cours!
16:48C'est du candé!
16:49Quelqu'un,
16:50sauve le candé!
16:53Dieu nous aide
16:54si ça se répand
16:55dans les vêtements de gym.
16:59Trop tard.
17:02Mes bébés!
17:03Vous allez bien?
17:04Oui, mais notre argent
17:05ne va pas.
17:08Tout le monde est sorti, chef!
17:09Bien.
17:10Maintenant,
17:11regardons le feu.
17:13Wow!
17:14C'est gentil.
17:15J'espère qu'il y a
17:16de l'argent.
17:17Désolé.
17:18Pas d'argent,
17:19pas d'argent.
17:21Ça n'a pas été
17:22comme je l'espérais.
17:23Est-ce que tout le monde
17:24est fou ou c'est moi?
17:25J'ai essayé d'apprendre
17:26à mes enfants
17:27la valeur de donner
17:28et de servir à d'autres.
17:29Mais je suppose
17:30que mes croyances
17:31sont tombées
17:32sur les spats
17:33et les Betamax.
17:34La gêne
17:35et la selfishness
17:36sont la mode du jour.
17:37Vous gagnez.
17:38Je vous promets
17:39que je paierai
17:40votre argent
17:41si ça me prend
17:42le reste de ma vie.
17:43Je crois encore
17:44dans vos fausses idées, père.
17:45Oui, moi aussi.
17:46J'en suis un peu déçu.
17:47Voici,
17:48on a 37 dollars.
17:51Tout ce que j'ai
17:52c'est cet oeuf Fabergé,
17:53mais vous êtes bienvenue.
17:55Je pense que je peux
17:56m'occuper d'un peu d'argent.
17:57Moi aussi.
17:58Moi aussi.
18:03Ça va être
18:04un merveilleux Noël
18:05après tout.
18:06Bob, c'est presque
18:07un an.
18:08J'ai envie d'un veste.
18:11Monsieur le maire,
18:12au nom
18:13de toute la ville,
18:14s'il vous plaît,
18:15acceptez cette bribe.
18:16Mon Dieu,
18:17vous pauvres gens déstitués
18:18vous avez donné
18:19vos petits dollars
18:20pour moi ?
18:22Je ne sais pas
18:23quoi dire
18:24sauf
18:25Yeah !
18:26Maintenant,
18:27allons brûler !
18:28Yeah !
18:31Bon,
18:32on prend le prochain.
18:34Bon,
18:35allons chez nous.
18:36Comment ?
18:37On ne peut pas tous
18:38se mettre sur ce vélo
18:39et je ne fais pas deux voyages.
18:40Voici, vous pouvez
18:41avoir votre petit vélo
18:42de merde de retour.
18:43Je voterai pour lui encore.
19:13Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada