Miasto
  • 3 months ago
Transcript
00:00🎵
00:30🎵
01:00🎵
01:30And now to all units
01:32I want to check the salt
01:33There's no salt
01:34I want to make sure
01:35Alright, okay. You behave a bit strange
01:37What just happened?
01:39Biśniex Kim
01:40řiňesk Týšniesk Týšniejsze
01:43Biśniex Kim
01:46Biśniex Kim
01:47Rzesh Bísněski
01:52ilian
01:54My Romek Gwidon
01:58Any of us
01:59Technicum?
02:01Always together.
02:03Damn.
02:05What happened to us?
02:09Hi, cherry.
02:15Ramek, you fucked up!
02:17Life.
02:19But in the end, nothing happened to you.
02:22Except, of course, in your case, an elbow injury for the rest of your life.
02:26I told you then that one day you would laugh at it.
02:29And what?
02:31That's what we're laughing at.
02:43Water?
02:45No, please.
02:47Gas, no gas?
02:48No gas.
02:50He's not gas either.
02:52There's only gas.
02:55But if you hold it for longer, it will disperse.
03:01More, more.
03:03After the cherry?
03:05From Wiśniewski.
03:07When I come here, I can't help but wonder
03:10what a class you have here.
03:12What a splendor.
03:14You know, here they're still waiting for you to come see me at home.
03:17The laundry is beautiful.
03:18Yes, in Spanish, pulpo.
03:21And not pulpa?
03:22Pulpo.
03:23I'm interrupting you.
03:25But we're here to find out
03:27what about the loan for my daughter's apartment.
03:29It's very good that you're bringing up this topic.
03:32The situation is such that the emerging markets,
03:34focused on global capital networks,
03:36have started to calculate the product range differently.
03:39And the LeBanner indicator has shifted towards inclusive calculations.
03:42It has resulted in...
03:43Stop, stop.
03:44Well?
03:45Can it be simpler?
03:46Oh, oh.
03:47The indexes have smoothed out as a result of the intervention of capital companies
03:50focused on capital networks.
03:52Capital networks.
03:56Wiśnia.
03:57What about the loan?
03:58Oh, oh.
03:59You'll have to pay nine times more.
04:03Excuse me?
04:04I think you've had enough.
04:07But when we were here before, you said
04:10that it was a great loan.
04:12Percent on the minus.
04:14Look at this elegant Wiśnia Express.
04:16Oh, yes, thank you.
04:17Don't spoil it.
04:18Can I go on?
04:19Oh, oh.
04:20The emerging markets provide constant progression of currency outflows
04:23indexed at a permanently low rate of return.
04:25While...
04:27financial parallels promise a leap in exchange rates
04:31that the EVIC-20, or EVIC-21...
04:33Wait.
04:34Yes?
04:36What does this mean to us?
04:38In short,
04:39not only will you not lose,
04:41but you will earn.
04:44Even on such an express.
04:46What?
04:48This is the best moment for this type of financial movement.
04:51Zero risk.
04:53Indeed.
04:54But I said something else.
04:56What?
04:58Zero risk.
05:00Well, then...
05:03Or not.
05:04But calm down.
05:05We couldn't have heard that.
05:07Because instead of listening,
05:08you preferred to admire the express.
05:09I was just admiring.
05:11Kwidol, are you normal?
05:12He says we're in the worst shit in the world.
05:15I'll take care of it.
05:17Wiśnia.
05:18Brachu.
05:19We're buddies.
05:21We can't have such a big loan.
05:23He has a daughter.
05:24I also have a debt.
05:26Oh, that's true.
05:27But you have such a debt that his daughter will have to pay.
05:30What?
05:31As your good advisor,
05:32I would advise her not to have children.
05:34Maybe then the debt will end on her.
05:36Wiśnia, give us our money!
05:38You have to give us our money.
05:39You bastard!
05:40And this is the moment.
05:43What's this?
05:44What's this?
05:48Give me some water!
05:49One day you'll laugh at this.
05:51I'm not laughing anymore.
05:52We'll catch you!
05:53I just don't know where.
05:54I don't go to the slums.
05:56And here there's monitoring everywhere.
06:03Of course.
06:04Banksters.
06:05They don't shoot.
06:06They don't break people.
06:07They just steal money and have it on paper.
06:10It wasn't hard to find you.
06:12I feel sorry for you.
06:14It's hard, in general.
06:15It's a profit of a lifetime.
06:17I'm going to throw up.
06:18No, Romek.
06:19Calm down.
06:20I can see the floor is freshly washed.
06:22Why are you so happy?
06:25Because it happens sometimes.
06:26It happens.
06:27It happens? Sometimes?
06:28It happens?
06:29Well, if some beggar makes a mess,
06:31it happens.
06:33Because the system needs to be reported somewhere.
06:36Report.
06:37Explain.
06:38Explain.
06:39The Fatherland
06:40won't leave us
06:41for such an unfair ruling
06:43that it will react.
06:44The State will help us.
06:56You have reached the Office of Urgent Affairs.
06:58The expected waiting time is 734 days.
07:01Your voice, self-esteem and humanity
07:03are our priority.
07:07What are you doing?
07:08I'm trying to push this.
07:10It's not a shame.
07:12Leave it.
07:13The expected waiting time is 734 days.
07:16What's wrong with this phone?
07:18It must be the beginning of state aid.
07:21Put it down.
07:22Your grandfather played this grandma on Uranium.
07:24The expected waiting time is 734 days.
07:27I think there's an accident.
07:29Yes, it's an accident.
07:31The expected waiting time is 734 days.
07:34All right.
07:35Let's go.
07:36Where?
07:37We have to deal with it personally.
07:38Of course.
07:39You'll see.
07:40Our suffering
07:41will draw a helping hand to us.
07:44Forget it.
07:45We won't sell the saber for sure.
07:56That's it.
07:57No problem.
07:59I've got it.
08:00You've got it.
08:01I told you I'd find it.
08:02Thank you, Jean-Luc.
08:04Just be careful with the sugar.
08:07And now the bandage.
08:09That's it.
08:21First of all, you've got an unimportant document.
08:23Second, you must have a complete form from the office of the municipality of Brwinów.
08:28What do you mean?
08:29What's wrong with this document?
08:30It's unimportant.
08:32How can I make it important?
08:34You have to make a new one.
08:37And how?
08:38There's information there.
08:43But there's no one there.
08:47Because it's 3 p.m.
08:48And the office is open until 4 p.m.
08:50Well, three more hours.
08:52Sir, it's Wednesday, so it's a small weekend.
08:54Officials also have their families.
08:57And how do I get this form?
08:59The municipality of Brwinów.
09:00About 20 kilometers from Warsaw.
09:02To Brwinów?
09:04Yes.
09:05But I have nothing to do with Brwinów.
09:07I've never even lived there.
09:09But they've made a nice office there, a new one.
09:11They've renovated it.
09:12That's where they bring all the news.
09:16Personally?
09:18Or maybe somehow through the Internet?
09:20You can.
09:22But now something's broken.
09:26So you can't.
09:27You can't, but you can at all.
09:33The best thing in life.
09:36The best thing in life.
09:38A special offer.
09:40Come on in.
09:42Hello, sir.
09:45What are you doing here?
09:47I'm driving.
09:48What's up?
09:49I'm asking you.
09:50How's the relationship with the state?
09:51Transitional difficulties.
09:53They're not transitional, you can see that.
09:55I'm on my way to the truth.
09:57You are.
09:58One has already said that.
09:59He was getting closer to the truth, he was getting older.
10:02He died.
10:03And she didn't come to his funeral.
10:04And you, apart from making up stupid sentences, what are you doing there?
10:08Well, you see.
10:09Oh, an international client.
10:11Here you go.
10:13It's not for sale.
10:14Give it to me.
10:15I can sell it to Bebechy.
10:20What are you doing?
10:21We're doing business.
10:22I'll just get one more certificate
10:24and I'll buy it all from you.
10:26Together with the saber.
10:27For once.
10:28For what?
10:29For now.
10:32Attention!
10:36You don't want the saber?
10:45Unfortunately, I can't give you a certificate
10:47if you don't give me a certificate
10:48that you didn't get a certificate from the regional office.
10:51Well.
10:57A phone in the color of the Red Desert.
10:59Just a moment.
11:00Hello.
11:02I know a crazy guy who rides a bike.
11:04So the phone is not for sale.
11:06It has big buttons.
11:10I'm here.
11:11So?
11:12Normally, we don't do this,
11:14but I would make an exception for you.
11:18But the printer broke down a week ago.
11:21What?
11:22What?
11:30Don't be afraid.
11:31Oh, it's you.
11:32Go.
11:34Let it dry in your head.
11:42All right, I'll give you this certificate,
11:44but only because it's my birthday today.
11:47Oh, it's all good.
11:48On every field.
11:50And this certificate is unimportant.
11:54Very much.
11:56Goodbye.
12:0430 zlotys.
12:05Last word.
12:06For such a saber?
12:09All right.
12:10Let it be my loss.
12:11I'll deduct it from the mandate.
12:12All right.
12:13From what mandate?
12:15500 zlotys for trade in an illegal place.
12:18Everyone does that.
12:19But I have to buy a license.
12:21You wanted to cheat the state for 15 zlotys,
12:23so now you have to pay 500.
12:25Minus the saber.
12:26That's 470.
12:29I'll pay 500.
12:30Why?
12:31I changed my mind.
12:32The saber is not for sale.
12:34Then there will be another 100 zlotys mandate
12:36for resigning from the sale contract
12:38and another one for owning a weapon.
12:40Hi, Guido.
12:41Hi.
12:42How's it going?
12:43So far, so good.
12:45I have to prove to the court that I exist.
12:47And how much did you earn?
12:48Ask your bodyguard.
12:51Good morning.
12:52Good morning.
12:55If a thief doesn't rob you,
12:57a city bodyguard will.
13:00Good morning.
13:01Good morning.
13:02Where are you going on vacation, gentlemen?
13:06Nowhere.
13:08How come?
13:10You're not here to go on vacation.
13:12You're not even here to stay at home.
13:15It looks like we'll be paying this debt for the rest of our lives.
13:18Croatia or Italy?
13:27Dad, you look sad.
13:29Did something happen?
13:30What do you mean, baby?
13:31I just have this face.
13:35Did someone come?
13:37Yes, someone's coming.
13:39Someone.
13:41Gustav Gonska, cell phone.
13:43I don't have it anymore.
13:44Why did you lock the door?
13:45The watchman came to check the gas.
13:48What's on your head?
13:49Oh, you know, I cut my hair.
13:51I see, I see.
13:52Don't you like it?
13:53No, but it's nice.
13:56Yeah, yeah.
13:59Nice, nice.
14:01I see, I see, I see.
14:02Dad, what's going on?
14:04What's going on?
14:05What's going on?
14:07Hey, man, not the fridge!
14:09Why are you eating the whole thing?
14:12You know, Uncle Gwidon,
14:14he's always making a fool of himself.
14:18Listen, daughter,
14:20I've always wanted you to be happy.
14:22Jesus, Dad, what's so serious?
14:24What do you mean, serious?
14:25I'm just telling you,
14:28I've always wanted you to be different than me.
14:31That you wouldn't miss a chance,
14:34that you wouldn't burn bridges,
14:36that you would succeed in life.
14:38What, I didn't succeed in life?
14:40Man, why do you need this picture?
14:42A chair?
14:43No, no, you just succeeded.
14:45You're perfect.
14:47Dad, what's going on?
14:49Maybe I'll come to you.
14:50At least leave the stool, man.
14:52No, no, don't worry,
14:53nothing's going on,
14:54it's just an old man's exhaustion.
14:56Besides, I don't want you to overdo it.
14:58Really, nothing bad is going on?
15:00Not at all, please don't touch it.
15:02I just wanted, as a father,
15:04to talk to my child and tell her that,
15:06you know, that...
15:12that I love her.
15:23Okay, gentlemen, what can you do?
15:27I worked as a housekeeper,
15:29so I know how to set the stove,
15:31I know how to tie the shoelaces,
15:33I know how to set the tents.
15:36I know how to fix the transistor.
15:38I know how to put the baby to sleep.
15:41I don't know if it matters.
15:43No, it doesn't. And you?
15:45I know how to fix a spaceship.
15:49I know how to do a weird fusion.
15:52And I'm an Internet creator.
15:54You're right.
15:55All that's left for you is humor
15:57and a job for Charlie.
16:01Excuse me?
16:03Are you deaf?
16:04A job for Charlie!
16:05Jesus!
16:06God forbid!
16:07But yes, it's the only possibility
16:09if you don't want to eat each other.
16:12Never.
16:13Never.
16:14I won't be a parasite.
16:16I love this country.
16:18I cry when I sing hymns.
16:20I get emotional when I dance mazowsze.
16:24Poland is sometimes ugly,
16:26sometimes rude,
16:27sometimes dirty.
16:29I cheat.
16:30I lie.
16:31I steal.
16:32I lie.
16:33But...
16:34But he's right.
16:37No, but...
16:38But what about Romek?
16:40What's left for us?
16:52Hello, my dear stranger.
16:54Look at yourself in the mirror.
16:58You can't look at yourself.
17:00It's pleonasm.
17:01Greetings.
17:02Have a nice day.
17:05Ass-kissing.
17:13Come on, Major!
17:14Maybe a good morning first?
17:17Are you sure you don't want to hurt me?
17:20Just 23 more drops and I'll be gone.
17:24You...
17:29Your time has come.
17:36It's quite nice here.
17:38A man's cave.
17:40It reminds me of my youth.
17:43What?
17:44Baim on vinyl, Romek?
17:46It's not me.
17:52Hi, Romek.
17:53Oh, Vistach, hi.
17:55Hi, Gwidon.
17:56I see there was a party.
17:59I was a bit upset that you ruined our lives
18:02and I broke the wedding in a moment.
18:04But I'll tell you, for now it's clear.
18:06Okay, trash.
18:07We'll let you go,
18:08provided that you transfer your savings to our account.
18:11Exactly as much as we owe him according to the bank.
18:14But guys, I can't do that.
18:15I have everything in the funds.
18:17Why?
18:18Well, yes, I have everything so valued
18:20that even if I swore to the Divine Mother,
18:22they wouldn't give it to me.
18:23If you really want to make me sorry,
18:25you have to try.
18:26Yes?
18:27Here you are.
18:28And what is this?
18:30What is this?
18:31Closest.
18:32It's me with your wife in bed.
18:35You, baldie.
18:36He took your wife.
18:40Oh, that's nice.
18:41I'll have a divorce.
18:42I was just worried that he would take half of my money.
18:45Thanks, guys.
18:46In that case, we'll kill you.
18:48And that will improve my reputation.
18:50What reputation?
18:51Didn't you hear how much Quinn sold the ships
18:53after the death of Mercury?
18:54And the Pope had to die to become a saint.
18:57Then we'll kill you and you'll sleep with us.
19:00I can't help it.
19:02What's the matter with you?
19:04You played poker with the state and you lost.
19:06It was fair.
19:07The rule of poker is to gamble.
19:09The state loves the poor.
19:11Yes, to kill.
19:12I'm serious.
19:13The state loves the poor
19:14because the poor are not able to do anything to them.
19:16When they hit you in the face,
19:17you think it's raining.
19:18Don't wipe your mouth with the state.
19:21Let me tell you a historical joke.
19:23The state is me.
19:25You love us.
19:26Of course, with all my heart.
19:28And this is the moment.
19:34Untie him!
19:35But gently, gentlemen.
19:36And on the stomach.
19:37These are my schoolmates.
19:38What have you done?
19:40Nothing.
19:41I'm lending you mine.
19:44Where's the gramophone?
19:48Maybe there.
19:53If you're lucky, I'll win you a car.
19:55Take it.
20:02I'll try again.
20:03Damn it, all my life.
20:04Look, it's us on TV.
20:08Mr. Speaker.
20:12Where are you going on vacation?
20:14Nowhere.
20:15Most Poles declare that they spend their holidays in their country,
20:18because Poland is an increasingly attractive place to spend their free time.
20:22Poles are grateful to the government for pensions,
20:24minimum wage,
20:25and social care.
20:26It seems that we will pay this debt to the end of our lives.
20:29Shocking.
20:30Such love for the nation.
20:31Hearts grow.
20:33Okay.
20:34I already thought you were decent.
20:36Well, maybe a little weird, old-fashioned.
20:38But damn decent.
20:39Such folklore.
20:40But not damn.
20:41Even such losers like you,
20:43being in such a shit,
20:44still think that someone is watching over them,
20:46that someone cares about them.
20:48Why are old people in this country so stupid?
20:51It's not us.
20:52Then who?
20:53I mean, we were there,
20:54but they did it.
20:55Any more questions?
20:57I had a question.
20:59Will you find a job?
21:01For black.
21:02Glass.
21:03Gas, not gas?
21:07Gas.
21:089.50.
21:18Beautiful and unemployed.
21:20Stay with us.
21:22In a moment,
21:23the second episode of a funny comedy
21:25about a not funny life.
21:50THE END