• 2 months ago
Transcript
00:00SONG – Podbijemy Cały Trzeci Świat
00:30You are nothing! I'm firing you!
00:32What?
00:33What an aggression!
00:35What's going on?
00:39I don't know. I don't know what he meant at all.
00:41You don't know?
00:42Well, I love God, I don't know.
00:44And who was eating?
00:45The cook is looking into the fridge, and what's there?
00:47Well, there's not much trouble with the porridge.
00:48When I see it, I always eat it.
00:49And who vomited in the middle of the kitchen?
00:51Well, if you saw the details, you would do the same.
00:54Well, you stole the glasses.
00:56You didn't steal them, you borrowed them.
00:59Well, if they treated me like that, it wasn't him.
01:02Well, the gastronomy is looking at us.
01:04Let's better think about what to do next.
01:06If we could open our own restaurant,
01:09I would make my grandmother's recipe
01:11so that the queue would turn around three times.
01:13I would feed them, and they would say,
01:15Gwidon, we love your food.
01:17I have a knack for it.
01:19What did you say?
01:20I have a knack for it.
01:21But earlier, before you started talking nonsense.
01:23What?
01:24That we open our own restaurant.
01:26Yeah.
01:27What are you doing here?
01:28I told you to leave.
01:29Jesus, man.
01:31He's gone crazy.
01:33I think it's enough for the truck, right?
01:35Don't you feel sorry?
01:36I think there's some sentiment left.
01:38Luck didn't bring me.
01:39Oh, damn.
01:41You have a lot of friends.
01:43Old times.
01:44Wołomin hangs and serves me.
01:46They were supposed to sleep here or drown there.
01:49It's an opportunity.
01:50All you have to do is take a leak,
01:51ventilate, and we have a food truck.
01:53Grandma will be happy that her recipe will last.
01:55Gwidon.
01:56No grandma's dumplings.
01:57We have a place.
01:58We can't spoil it.
01:59No local food.
02:01This is a city.
02:03And we will conquer this city.
02:05Wołomin.
02:06Warsaw.
02:12What is it?
02:14A donut?
02:27Kebabs, Gwidus.
02:28Kebabs.
02:29Warm on the stomach,
02:30regardless of your nationality,
02:32nationality, capital.
02:33You take a bun,
02:34load cabbage on the edge,
02:36add a meat-like product,
02:38pour it all with a sauce,
02:40sauce-like,
02:41and it's ready.
02:42And this salad is
02:44dead, barely alive.
02:46Pita is also
02:47tasteless.
02:48Do we take it all to the bazaar?
02:50Yes.
02:51I mean, I went after closing.
02:53Someone threw it away.
02:55I don't like to waste food.
02:57It's not Christian.
02:59I agree with you,
03:01but I disagree.
03:03What's the difference
03:05from that restaurant?
03:06Everything was supposed to be fresh here.
03:08The idea is fresh.
03:09Polish kebab.
03:10Do you understand?
03:12The idea is important,
03:13not the ingredients.
03:15We combine two cultures,
03:16Polish and Arabic.
03:18Do you see this scale?
03:19What does it mean?
03:20Some salad,
03:21some cabbage,
03:22on this scale.
03:23It's not good.
03:24You see?
03:25Kebabs are not
03:26to be good.
03:27They are
03:28to be.
03:31Oh.
03:33Welcome, gentlemen.
03:34What can I serve you?
03:35Good.
03:36For me,
03:37a thin kebab.
03:38And for my son,
03:39a thick one.
03:40A thick one.
03:41A thick one.
03:42Okay.
03:43A fatty one.
03:44A fatty one.
03:45He'll rule this country one day.
03:46Very good.
03:47It won't get any worse.
03:49Pita or ciabatta?
03:50Ciabatta.
03:52Polish kebab or not?
03:53No, no, no.
03:54Son, no.
03:55I'm sorry for him.
03:57I taught him very well
03:59who he shouldn't like.
04:02Ciabatta.
04:03Ciabatta.
04:04What are you doing?
04:05A red one.
04:06A red one.
04:07A red kebab.
04:08And this guy doesn't know
04:09that kebab is a Polish dish?
04:11Think with your head,
04:12think with your stomach.
04:15Here you go.
04:17Be careful, it's hot.
04:19Thank you very much.
04:21Now...
04:2346...
04:25Okay, 50.
04:26You don't need the rest.
04:28Enjoy your meal.
04:29Thank you very much.
04:31Thank you for standing on the guard of Polishness.
04:34My friend.
04:37Unless you're doing something together,
04:39I'll hate you.
04:40What are we doing together?
04:41Nothing.
04:45You see?
04:46No one needs your grandma.
04:48That's a bit sad.
04:50Look at this.
04:52Hello.
04:53Kebab, please.
04:54Kebab?
04:55Kebab.
04:56It's coming.
04:57Like a bomb.
04:59Isn't it funny?
05:01What kind of culture is this?
05:02What are two worlds?
05:03Two worlds, I think.
05:05You're afraid.
05:06You start playing with forces
05:08that you won't be able to control later.
05:10But you're primitive and ignorant.
05:13Here you go.
05:15I'm sorry, but we have one problem.
05:17This is disgusting.
05:18You can't eat this.
05:19Even I don't eat this.
05:20Do you understand?
05:21Even me.
05:23Cool.
05:24Okay, this is my culture.
05:25Right?
05:26It's like pulling out a rag with your teeth.
05:28It's worse than war.
05:30And at least you can win.
05:32Oh.
05:33When I was chewing lettuce,
05:34it reminded me of my wife's death.
05:38And why did I emigrate?
05:44Look at my dog.
05:48What?
05:54You disobeyed the culture.
05:56Okay.
05:57Okay.
05:58Here you go.
05:59Let's do it your way.
06:02Gwidonku.
06:04Listen, Gwidonku,
06:05because I won't repeat it twice.
06:08First you take a slice of fresh bread.
06:12Like Grandma's?
06:14Yes, darling.
06:15Like Grandma's.
06:16Then you add delicious mustard.
06:19Like from the ground?
06:21Yes, darling.
06:22Like from the ground.
06:24And then, at the end,
06:25you spread it all over with mustard.
06:28Like...
06:29What is mustard, Grandma?
06:31Gwidon.
06:32You're a big boy now
06:33and you don't know what mustard is.
06:38A shelf.
06:40Mustard.
06:42And...
06:44Mustard.
06:46Mustard.
06:51And there it is.
06:53What?
06:55This is the great mystery
06:56recipe of Mr. Gwidon,
06:57the cook,
06:58a bread roll with mustard?
07:00Yes, with delicious mustard.
07:02This is a vitamin bomb.
07:04Phosphorus.
07:05Magnesium.
07:06Coal.
07:08The source of apple cider vinegar.
07:09And apple cider vinegar?
07:10I think apple cider vinegar too.
07:12Reduces the risk of heart attack,
07:14stroke,
07:15cancer,
07:16stag's inflammation,
07:18in general...
07:19to make you happy.
07:20How do you know that?
07:22Grandma told me.
07:24She was a beloved old lady
07:25and she never got wrong.
07:28The Earth is flat.
07:31Left-handed people
07:32will all go to hell.
07:35And the Jews invented depression
07:38so that we would be sad.
07:40Never.
07:42Everything unclean and eco.
07:43And I jumped into a woman's, or a man's, because it's hard to say.
07:47And they weren't impressed either.
07:49And Eko.
07:51I doubt it.
07:53I just doubt it.
08:03To succeed, which I doubt, we have to hit young and stupid clients.
08:08There are a lot of lazy kids for whom time doesn't matter,
08:12who don't have to work, because they get a salary from their parents,
08:15and they can focus on slaving away, burning grass,
08:18and, in general, taking a fucking fortune out of our taxes,
08:21if we paid them.
08:26Hi.
08:29Do we know each other?
08:30Maybe.
08:31Time is an illusion.
08:32We just met.
08:34So it was supposed to be like that.
08:36Excuse me?
08:37Give me a burger rind, please.
08:39Go ahead.
08:40It's very simple.
08:43What kind of rind is it?
08:45It's a rind.
08:47From a man.
08:48Or a woman.
08:49From a man.
08:50I know, but what season is it from?
08:52Autumn or spring?
08:54Is it important?
08:55It's a key rind.
08:56It's like a variety of yarmulke.
08:58Because I see you have a yarmulke in your burger.
09:00Is it a 2 or a 4-leaf clover?
09:03Yes.
09:04Just a yarmulke.
09:05But there is no such variety as just a yarmulke.
09:07There is no such thing as just a bun with beans.
09:09What kind of bean is it?
09:10Where does it come from?
09:11How is it fermented?
09:12How is it sterilized?
09:13Because I understand, I hope, that it's a sterilized bean.
09:16So what method?
09:18Warm and cold?
09:20Or cold and warm?
09:22The method of my grandmother from the Podlasie village.
09:25And what is this method?
09:27I won't tell you, because I don't know.
09:29Because I loved her and I didn't ask her.
09:31Because if you love someone, you trust them.
09:33Look, when we make these burgers,
09:35we dip our fingers in goat's urine.
09:38Grumpo.
09:39Grumpo.
09:40I'll take it.
09:4219,99.
09:44Two 10s, actually.
09:48Thanks.
10:04So...
10:06natural.
10:18And who's next, ma'am?
10:20All right?
10:22I'll just say it once,
10:24and I want you to understand.
10:26This business is about to disappear.
10:28Do you hear me, ladies?
10:29And what kind of fairy tales are you, handsome?
10:31Isn't this readable?
10:34I have a food truck with burgers,
10:36a smiling beetroot.
10:39This is my city.
10:40But this is, boy, our common capital.
10:43Me?
10:45I've been feeding these little garbages for years.
10:47And you think you're going to smoke me
10:49with some stinking rope?
10:51That's exactly what we think.
10:53Let the viewer.
10:54Let the viewer.
10:55This gentleman rather insults your wonderful work
10:57and your dear grandmother.
10:58Eat shambo, beetroot.
11:00And what, war?
11:01War, Janusz, war.
11:03My name is not Janusz.
11:04Your name is.
11:05Don't comment.
11:06You, viewer, don't worry.
11:07Cook yourself.
11:09And you, beetroot, eat shambo.
11:11And cook yourself, too.
11:20Burgers, please.
11:23Natural, please.
11:27Two for me.
11:28Two.
11:30Hey, guys.
11:31For fun.
11:33Burakoburgers
11:34add something to buraks.
11:36Rzepoburger.
11:37Here you go.
11:38For you.
11:39For you.
11:40And a special one for your doggy.
11:44And burak juices
11:45add a better flavor.
11:47Burak-ass.
11:49Burak-ass is a good meme.
11:52For you, ma'am.
11:53Here you go.
11:54What did you order?
11:55And those from Rzepoburger
11:57are against adoption of children
11:59by homosexual couples.
12:01That's not true!
12:02Wait, what are you...
12:05Well...
12:06Actually, I'm against it.
12:25Check.
12:26Welcome.
12:28That's a quick burak.
12:56It's dirty in here.
12:58Very dirty.
13:01No.
13:02We just started.
13:05We've already done everything.
13:26The inspection is done.
13:28The plant is clean.
13:30See you.
13:41When you bite,
13:43you call the police.
13:47I know how to do it.
13:49I didn't want to meddle
13:50because I thought my kitchen
13:51would defend itself.
13:52But it didn't.
13:56Here you go.
14:02What's this?
14:03I lived in the woods.
14:04I had to have it.
14:05For the boars.
14:06They run away from it.
14:08And people...
14:09I'll put it this way.
14:10You can only use it
14:11in the end.
14:12Terrible,
14:13cruel,
14:15biological weapon.
14:16Terrible,
14:17cruel,
14:19biological weapon.
14:33This is the last one today.
14:35It won't be free.
14:36Thanks, Mordo.
14:37Hi.
14:38Mordo.
14:39I'm begging you.
14:40Please, leave me alone.
14:41This is my interest.
14:42People,
14:43what do I care about
14:44biological threats?
14:45I'm begging you.
14:46This is my whole life.
14:47Leave me alone.
14:48We got rid of the boar.
14:49Now there's no one
14:50on our path.
14:55We'll buy more ingredients.
14:58In a week,
14:59we'll open another shed.
15:01In two weeks,
15:02two more.
15:05Think about it.
15:06How many kids like that
15:07are in Warsaw?
15:08And all over Poland?
15:11I'm just happy
15:12that the spirit of my grandmother
15:13is still alive.
15:16Such a shed will be
15:17in front of every private high school.
15:19Everywhere where kids
15:20have too much strength,
15:21that's where we'll be.
15:23Everywhere.
15:24If someone says
15:25that he doesn't feel like
15:26eating a tasty cutlet,
15:29he prefers healthy wine,
15:31that's where we'll be.
15:33Everywhere.
15:35If someone doesn't want
15:36to eat too much,
15:38that's where we'll be.
15:46I don't know anything
15:47about food there.
15:48The last time I was in a pub,
15:49I was right after high school.
15:51But after that,
15:52when I buy alcohol,
15:53I meet people.
15:55For example, wine.
15:56It means a broken heart.
15:57Right?
15:58Savory wine means
15:59a broken heart.
16:00Because sweet
16:01means a believer.
16:03Gin
16:04means an optimist.
16:05Whiskey
16:06means a good sense of humor,
16:07but also a difficult childhood.
16:08Champagne
16:09means problems in bed.
16:10Tequila
16:11means a good sense of humor.
16:12Beer
16:13depends on
16:14the price range.
16:155 zloty up left,
16:165 zloty down right.
16:17And vodka
16:19means boredom and boredom.
16:21All at once.
16:24It means he wants to go to the toilet.
16:29To get to know each other.
16:42I don't know.
17:04I don't know.
17:05There's no one here.
17:06Or maybe it's a pandemic.
17:13Bordo!
17:15Bordo!
17:17Do we know each other?
17:18The burger boss.
17:20What's up?
17:21Oh, right.
17:23It was yesterday.
17:24Ages ago.
17:26We don't remember such things.
17:28Our trends are
17:30changing ontologically.
17:32They change.
17:34Now everyone eats this.
17:35Where is it from?
17:43Here you go.
17:44You don't pay anything today, skier.
17:45Enjoy your meal.
17:47Oh, my morning viewers,
17:48my friends.
17:50Kaszaneczka
17:51to wake you up from sleep.
17:53Piśnia,
17:54what are you doing here?
17:55I'm standing here,
17:56counting the money,
17:57wondering what I'll spend.
17:58I'm happy.
17:59Such nonsense.
18:00And what about you?
18:01After breakfast?
18:02Maybe you'll taste
18:03Kaszaneczka degustacyjna?
18:04Here you go.
18:06So you don't work at the bank anymore?
18:07Darling,
18:08where am I not working?
18:09The world doesn't stand still.
18:10Especially this food truck,
18:11because it's moving.
18:13Besides,
18:14who would chew a toad all their life?
18:16How do you know about toads?
18:17There are cameras everywhere.
18:18Where?
18:19In the ass, in the world, in the satellite.
18:21Really?
18:22Piśnia, it tastes like real Kaszanka.
18:23Yes.
18:24How did you do it?
18:27Because this
18:28is real Kaszanka.
18:30But...
18:31You're talking to a genius of marketing.
18:33Just be careful with me
18:34with this liquid
18:35to scare the boars.
18:37Ass.
18:38What?
18:39Ass.
18:40Should we listen to him?
18:41Maybe, maybe.
18:43It's nothing.
18:44With such a taste.
18:45It's a very good Kaszanka.
18:46What do you want?
18:47What good Kaszanka?
18:48Disgusting Kaszanka.
18:49Eat it, or I won't eat it.
18:50Hey!
18:53Recommend me
18:54to all your friends,
18:55to all the passers-by you've met.
18:57I'll be standing
18:58at every corner
18:59in front of every private high school
19:00where kids have some bags.
19:01I'll be standing everywhere.
19:02Come on, darling.
19:03Here you go.
19:04For you,
19:05for free.
19:10If we sold you a lightbulb,
19:12we'd go broke.
19:14I just wanted
19:15people to like it.
19:17Then your dream will come true.
19:20Gentlemen.
19:21Good evening.
19:22Good evening.
19:25You've been
19:26unlucky in life,
19:27but...
19:28now
19:29a real feast
19:30is waiting for you.
19:32Cheers.
19:33They threw themselves.
19:34Cheers.
19:35They threw themselves.
19:44Eat it
19:45without any taste.
19:47Just because we're homeless
19:48doesn't mean
19:50that you can give us
19:51some senseless food.
19:52Give it to some
19:53poor people.
20:04I know what you mean.
20:05I understand.
20:07Meat is meat.
20:08It's hard.
20:09Thank you very much.
20:11Nowhere
20:12do they want
20:13our burgers.
20:14They threw us away,
20:15please,
20:16in a student's house,
20:17in a shelter,
20:18in a food truck.
20:19Everywhere.
20:20So much food
20:21is wasted.
20:24A thousand burgers.
20:25The whole balcony is full.
20:27It's not wasted.
20:29How is it not wasted?
20:30I've prepared 107 films
20:31with Steven Seagal
20:32just for the weekend.
20:33But it's Wednesday.
20:34Wednesday is for the unemployed
20:35on Wednesday weekends.
20:37I have a box of oranges.
20:39We'll eat it ourselves.
20:41But you don't like them,
20:42Romek.
20:43I don't.
20:44I like everything
20:45my brother does.
20:47Secondly, everything is good
20:48if you drink it with oranges.
20:49To your health.
20:57Well, well, well,
20:58you see, well, well.
21:00It's good.
21:02It's good.
21:04Oranges are also good.
21:15Do you want more
21:16crazy ideas
21:17from Gwidon and Romek?
21:19In a week from 21.05
21:21more episodes
21:22of Beautiful and Unemployed.
21:24A big conflict is coming.
21:26And in a moment
21:27a comedy
21:28called
21:29Love or Throw.
21:30Kargul and Pawlak
21:31are going to conquer America.
21:58Coming soon.