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🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00🎵
00:30So you want to take the dogs out?
00:33There is no better occupation on Earth.
00:36The dog is our best friend.
00:39The dog is the best friend of the people.
00:42Yeah, exactly.
00:44He's sociable.
00:46Toto, relax.
00:47He's right.
00:48It's worse that he also bites.
00:50If only when he defends himself against harm.
00:55He bites only when he's forced to bite.
00:58It's like me.
01:00I was protecting you.
01:05Did you have any experience with dogs?
01:10My wife had a schnauzer.
01:12He even slept with us.
01:14I'm still grateful to him for that.
01:18No, no.
01:19It's just that the fox bit me.
01:22I had a fit and then I had to be afraid of injections.
01:26Yeah, but it was a fox.
01:29So it's a very nasty breed of dog.
01:32Could you give me the smallest one?
01:36See, the smallest ones eat the most.
01:39My wife was reaching for Toto.
01:43When she started to eat, all the dogs in the neighborhood started to move.
01:48A perfect dog is a cat.
01:50Please don't say that word here.
01:53It's a forbidden word.
01:55A cat can bite off a corpse's nose.
02:00And a dog would never get sick.
02:03I didn't know. I'm sorry.
02:06I would ask for the biggest dog in the world.
02:09Something like a coro.
02:10But a dog.
02:13I think I have something for you.
02:16A strange marriage, but the dogs are quite normal.
02:21Maybe there would be a sleeping dog.
02:24I would hug him and take care of him.
02:26I would change his diaper.
02:28Is there one?
02:29No.
02:37No, no.
02:38I don't like dogs. I'm afraid of dogs.
02:40They snort. They get hiccups. They have ticks.
02:44They eat poop. Then they deal with it.
02:46Then they eat again.
02:48I give up.
02:49Widon.
02:51Good morning.
02:52Come on.
02:53Widon, you can't give up now.
02:55It's the best job we can get.
02:57What can a little dog do to you?
02:59You go for a walk.
03:01You tie a leash to a bench.
03:03And that's it.
03:04There are no downsides to this job.
03:06No.
03:07When I was seven and I drowned, a dog bit me.
03:09At the same time?
03:12Right.
03:13A guy from the village saved me.
03:15First he pulled me out, and then his dog bit me.
03:18And what did the guy do?
03:19He pulled the dog away, calmed him down.
03:21He calmed me down so that the dog wouldn't bite.
03:23Since then, I've been suffering from injuries to dogs,
03:25especially those that don't bite.
03:26Widon, you have to fight it.
03:28Besides, I see you're already fighting.
03:30You ate dog food yesterday.
03:31Together with you.
03:32Because there was nothing else.
03:34Look, they make better food for dogs than for people.
03:37Do you understand that?
03:39Welcome, gentlemen. Come on in.
03:41Come on in.
03:42That's us.
03:43Come on in.
03:44Come on in.
03:50Mr. Andrzej?
03:54Sit.
03:57Lie down.
03:58Die, dog.
03:59No, no.
04:00Beautiful.
04:01A wonderful sight.
04:02Very calm.
04:03Romantic.
04:04For example, he loves blowers.
04:08He probably never had one.
04:09Very possible.
04:11But he can't play with them,
04:13because he'll suffocate from the smell
04:15and he'll get blisters.
04:18And it's very itchy.
04:19Like a rat on the market.
04:21Horror on his nostrils.
04:24And he has to run.
04:26But please don't let him off the leash.
04:30How is he supposed to run off the leash?
04:32Please run with him.
04:36He looks fast.
04:39Very fast.
04:41The fastest.
04:42He's so fast that he gets tired of it quickly.
04:47You know, I've heard from the doctor that...
04:50That dog is a real hunter.
04:53He used to be used to hunt boars.
04:57He was immortalized in many pictures.
05:01How old is he?
05:02He's six months old, but he's a very old breed.
05:06A royal lineage dating back to the 15th century.
05:09We used to have an old man like him.
05:12But who was there before him?
05:14I mean, there was someone, but...
05:18Just listen to him and he'll be fine.
05:21A lovely dog.
05:24Well, let's get to work.
05:28Of course.
05:31He'll be fine.
05:33A lunatic.
05:35A lunatic.
05:36You can't keep an eye on her.
05:38Please take care of her and talk to her a lot.
05:41She likes it.
05:42Why don't you buy yourself a marzipan?
05:45No, thank you.
05:47Talk to her?
05:48Yes.
05:49About what?
05:50Poetry. William Blake.
05:51But no sad poems, because then she'll get a cold.
05:54Or maybe Carmel?
05:56No.
05:58And please don't feed her anything,
06:00because only I know what she should eat, when and why.
06:03Because Greta is on a diet, right, darling?
06:06Me too.
06:07Really?
06:08Maybe a praline?
06:10No.
06:12Greta really likes classical music.
06:14Tchaikovsky, Brahms, recently Richter.
06:17Richter.
06:18Yes.
06:19And absolutely, categorically, no cigarettes.
06:22No, of course.
06:23It would be a shame if the dog smoked cigarettes.
06:28And keep an eye on her ear.
06:30Why her ear?
06:31So that her wind doesn't blow in, because she'll catch a cold.
06:34Greta!
06:36Well, I'm leaving.
06:37I have an important SPA today.
06:39Did you remember everything?
06:41Excuse me?
06:42You look confused.
06:44The most important thing.
06:45Don't let go of the eye and the leash.
06:48You're not coming?
06:49Yes.
06:50Maybe...
06:51Good night.
07:06Hi.
07:08I'm Gwidon.
07:11And you?
07:13What?
07:17I'll tell you that with this leg you look like a racial gay.
07:21I mean, I have nothing to do with it, but you're a racial homophobe.
07:25Good.
07:26Greta, good.
07:27Very nice.
07:32I told you it was a nice job?
07:34Greta?
07:35What do you have there?
07:37The owner told me to pick up the poop on Greta.
07:41But not to throw them away, because she still wants to look at them.
07:45I don't know about this stove, but this woman is sick.
07:48Let her take care of it when she has nothing to do.
07:51What else did she tell you?
07:52That I talk to her a lot, but it can't be too depressing.
07:58Greta!
07:59What?
08:00Where?
08:01What did she do to you?
08:04She was looking at me.
08:07You see?
08:08I'm giving you a signal.
08:10A break.
08:11Take her by the hand.
08:12What?
08:15Hello, sir.
08:17I know.
08:20You see?
08:22She liked you.
08:25You see?
08:26Because they meet a good man three times.
08:29Yes?
08:30Then why did she bite you when you were drowning?
08:33There are different rules in the water.
08:35Maybe you're good, but you're definitely...
08:38Good?
08:39Good?
08:40Good, Greta.
08:41You defend the Lord.
08:44What about you?
08:45You see?
08:46Calm.
08:47Well, my followers can see it.
08:50My dear friends.
08:52You can think that there are many parks in the capital,
08:56and we are all here.
08:58You could close the world, but you didn't.
09:02A simple joke brings a lot of joy.
09:04Beautiful occasions.
09:05This is Greta.
09:06Don't call me a scoundrel.
09:07I don't deserve it.
09:08Don't call me a scoundrel, Greta.
09:09Oh, so much food, and I wanted to help you.
09:12I'll tell you a story.
09:13This is a German dog.
09:15A very dangerous breed.
09:16During the war, it was used for terrible things.
09:20Two simple German words are enough
09:22to fill his bond with his ancestors.
09:24I'm not interested in that.
09:26What words?
09:27You're very nice to ask.
09:29Rauschenhof!
09:30Ramses!
09:31Stop!
09:32Stop!
09:33Stop!
09:34Stop!
09:38I lost him!
09:41I lost Ramses!
09:42You didn't lose him.
09:47What a runaway!
09:48You let him burn, didn't you?
09:54I'm afraid of him.
09:55No.
09:56You say he's calm.
09:58Like he's sleeping.
10:01You didn't say that.
10:03I did say he was biting.
10:04And is he biting?
10:05No.
10:07Unless he's nervous.
10:12What makes him nervous?
10:13Now everything.
10:14Dogs have a leash.
10:15He can't get to them.
10:17Of course, he gets mad when he sees a cat.
10:21He also doesn't like it when someone calls.
10:24And for some unexplained reason
10:26his Swedish gets to him.
10:30When he gets red eyes like that,
10:33you see,
10:34I lock myself up here
10:37in my shelter.
10:39Beautiful.
10:40Ah, you know, that breed.
10:43A hunting dog.
10:44He wants to hunt.
10:45He can't.
10:46He's obviously crazy.
10:47No one told me that.
10:48Aha.
10:49In his free time,
10:50I ask him to cut his claws.
10:52One by one.
10:54And the vet says
10:55to wash his feet once a day.
10:59In a fight with the ideal,
11:02there's no easy way, Mr. Roman.
11:06I'm sorry, but
11:09being rich from birth
11:11is not easy.
11:22¶¶
11:31¶¶
11:42¶¶
11:52¶¶
12:06It's the vet.
12:08Come here.
12:11You're abandoning Ramzes as a support.
12:15Can you handle him?
12:18I've been making contact with him for half a year.
12:22But you finally did it.
12:23I finally called you.
12:28Good morning.
12:29Good morning.
12:31Hello, husband.
12:33Hello, wife.
12:34Hello, wife.
12:37Look,
12:38what a face she made.
12:40Oh, you know she didn't do that before?
12:42I think she learned it from you.
12:46You're beautiful.
12:47Right?
12:48Just like me.
12:49Very much.
12:50Like a daughter.
12:52And you know she makes such a grimace,
12:54like you?
12:57Yes?
12:58Yes.
12:59Maybe she thinks it's daddy.
13:01Daddy?
13:04Is your friend a homosexual?
13:07No, he's my brother.
13:21Yes.
13:23Beautiful.
13:24Beautiful, Greta.
13:26Stop!
13:27Mrs. Gwidon,
13:28please don't move.
13:29Please don't move.
13:30Just a moment of patience.
13:32We're almost done.
13:33Just a few more stitches.
13:36I hope it's not pus.
13:38You won't infect me, Greta.
13:40I don't think so.
13:44Done.
13:45Already?
13:46Yes.
13:47Can I?
13:48Yes, done.
13:49I'm very curious about your opinion.
13:51Ready?
13:52Yes.
13:53Ready?
13:56Voila.
13:58Beautiful, Mrs.
13:59I mean,
14:00the proportions are wonderful.
14:04I dedicated the whole exhibition to Greta.
14:06I called her Gretie Widoki.
14:08I don't know.
14:10Maybe Gretie Portreti?
14:14Well,
14:15I didn't think of that.
14:17Wait, I'll show you everything.
14:19I have a few last works here.
14:24Here you have
14:25Greta Wiosenna.
14:27Super.
14:28Greta
14:30Jesienna.
14:33And this?
14:35Greta Thunberg.
14:37Greta, now I know who you're after.
14:40Wait.
14:41And now
14:42my favorite,
14:44the best masterpiece.
14:45I put my heart into it.
14:49Ready?
14:50Yes.
14:51Voila.
14:53Greta Noca.
14:55Yes.
15:04Come in.
15:08Good morning.
15:13You called me?
15:15Yes.
15:17Yes.
15:19Maybe a cigar?
15:21Normally I would say
15:22yes, but
15:23now I'll say
15:24of course.
15:29Please, have a seat.
15:35He bit you.
15:37He did, but
15:38he was lying here.
15:41I have to tell you something.
15:44Well,
15:45it seems to me that
15:46my wife
15:47has an affair with your brother.
15:50That's impossible.
15:51She also had an affair
15:52with a gardener before.
15:54Such an old man,
15:55without hands.
15:56Without hands?
15:57Yes, he, I don't know,
15:59he was watering the garden.
16:01He had a special dog.
16:05Never mind.
16:08Not only I can't deal with a dog,
16:12but also with my other half.
16:15I'm sorry
16:17that I showed emotions.
16:20No, but work,
16:21women are simple enough.
16:22If this doesn't end,
16:24I'll fire you both.
16:27But Gwida is afraid of women.
16:30We're afraid
16:32of what we'll get into.
16:35You see,
16:36I work very well with you
16:38and I really
16:39wouldn't want this,
16:40but I see it.
16:44I feel it
16:46with my nose.
16:47You don't want your brother
16:48to end up like this gardener,
16:52David.
16:54And how will he end up?
16:57Without hands,
16:58he didn't dig himself out.
17:11Good morning!
17:13Hello!
17:15Hello!
17:17Good morning!
17:21Oh!
17:22Is there a lady?
17:23Is there your bitch?
17:25No,
17:26but I am
17:27a rogat,
17:28a deer!
17:31You won't leave me, animal!
17:34Man, but I haven't done anything yet!
17:35I haven't done anything either.
17:38I haven't killed
17:40any gardener,
17:41cleaner,
17:43pool,
17:44cablewoman,
17:46and I haven't killed
17:47a cook for sure!
17:56Tamara...
17:58Honey,
17:59this can be explained somehow.
18:04Romek, is that you?
18:06For all of us!
18:08How could you do that?
18:09Nobody suspected me.
18:11How could you?
18:13I trusted you.
18:14You know,
18:15in a fight with an ideal,
18:17it's not easy.
18:18Wake up, dog!
18:19No!
18:20Get out of here!
18:39Wait.
18:40We have to go now
18:41or he'll let us go.
18:42Wait.
18:43I won't say a word.
18:44I won't say a word.
18:46Greta...
18:47It's over.
18:49Go!
18:50It's time to go!
19:05Leave me alone!
19:06Leave me alone!
19:08Honey!
19:10Honey!
19:161.80 zlotys.
19:18You look
19:19very similar to Greta.
19:21I've always wanted a dog,
19:22but my mother didn't want it
19:23because she had to take care of it.
19:25Oh, it's a refusal.
19:27The first thing I did
19:28after moving out
19:29was to take a dog.
19:30I would try it again.
19:32What if the dog barks?
19:33I don't know.
19:34I would have to call my mother
19:35because she lives with it
19:36and I don't remember.
19:38I don't know what it's like,
19:39but whenever I think
19:40that I'm an adult
19:41and responsible,
19:43the world surprises me
19:44and says,
19:45you're still a child.
19:46Do you know what it's like?
19:47A refusal.
19:49I know.
19:51Do you have this feeling?
19:53I don't know why
19:54these dogs don't bark.
19:55It's probably because of the hospital.
19:57Our hospitals
19:58need to be healthy.
19:59Can you give me a bottle?
20:01Oh, and celery
20:02so I don't have to wash my face.
20:04I'll treat myself
20:05the way our grandpas did.
20:06Here you go.
20:07Will you pay for it?
20:09Yes.
20:14Dear Greta.
20:17My beloved Greta.
20:19My dearest Greta.
20:22How are you?
20:24I'm fine.
20:26Sometimes,
20:27when I go for a walk,
20:28I take a leash
20:30and pull the leash.
20:34I eat well
20:36and I exercise.
20:38I try not to think about you
20:40but I can't.
20:43It's a fact
20:44that I joke like this.
20:46I know you like games of words.
20:48I'll finish
20:49because Romek
20:50is calling for soup.
20:52Wait a minute!
20:57Gwidon!
20:58Let it cool down!
21:00Wait a minute!
21:02Your
21:03Lord
21:04Gwidon.
21:08Gwidon and Romek
21:18Do you want more
21:19crazy ideas
21:20by Gwidon and Romek?
21:22In a week on 21.05
21:24two final episodes
21:25beautiful and unemployed.
21:27And in a moment
21:28a comedy in a starry cast
21:30shot.
21:31When the world
21:32hits you in the head
21:33it's worth going crazy
21:34for the whole thing.