Frasier Season 5 Episode 10 Where Every Bloke Knows Your Name
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00:00I specifically requested my macaroni and cheese al dente.
00:13I know.
00:14This lunch is a culinary Hindenburg.
00:17Miles, have you considered that our food may be payback for your recent editorial, Cafeteria
00:24of Shame?
00:25Well, they can't intimidate me.
00:29They'll never silence my pen.
00:32I could write an expose on their baked goods alone.
00:36This is the hardest roll since Hamlet.
00:39Good one, Frazier.
00:41May I use it?
00:42But of course.
00:44These biscotti represent an all-time low, chalky aftertaste, inelegant aroma, spongy.
00:52What is spongy biscotti but an unwelcome trespasser into Madeleine territory?
00:59Have you seen how stale these pistachios are?
01:01It's like swallowing gravel.
01:02It's a wonder I escaped permanent injury.
01:05Yes, your ability to cheat death at every turn never ceases to amaze.
01:12Someone's in a mood today.
01:13I'm sorry, Miles.
01:14You know, sometimes you just find yourself getting restless.
01:17I have a feeling I'm about to.
01:22Hello?
01:24Yes.
01:26Really?
01:29Bravo!
01:30Excellente!
01:31Benissimo!
01:34You'll never guess who that was.
01:36The three tenors?
01:41No, that was my antique scout.
01:43The present I ordered for Marat's birthday has finally arrived.
01:47I got her the most exquisite antique saddle.
01:50Oh.
01:51How does it look on you?
01:59You won't laugh when you see it.
02:03It is bejeweled but not overdone, much like by Marat's.
02:07The craftsmanship is breathtaking.
02:10It's been so expertly restored, you can barely see the stitching.
02:13Again, like Marat's.
02:17Someone is in a mood today.
02:19Here, I'll get this.
02:21Oh, thank you, Miles.
02:22You know, perhaps you'd better run along to the wine club on your own tonight.
02:26What?
02:28Well, it'll just be the same old faces rehashing the same boring topics.
02:33You're more upset than I realized.
02:35Let's do something to get your mind off it.
02:37Dinner?
02:38Chamber music?
02:40There's a wonderful lecture series on the history of modern lecture series.
02:46I'm sorry, I don't think so.
02:48You know, I guess I just feel like being on my own tonight.
02:51You don't mind, do you?
02:52Of course not.
02:53I'll just see you at Kuchina for lunch tomorrow.
02:55I'll say that right here as well.
02:57As you wish.
02:58You're not upset, are you?
03:00Frasier, I'd have to have a pretty fragile ego to be upset just because you want to take some time away from me.
03:05Mr. Stroudy.
03:06Separate checks, please.
03:13Hey, Marty, we're getting hungry out here.
03:15It's coming.
03:16All right.
03:17Here we go.
03:20Cold cuts, pizza rolls, deviled eggs, pork roll-ups.
03:25All right.
03:26Yes, the ideal buffet for a group of heavyset men over 60.
03:32I assume everyone's affairs are in order.
03:38Well, we're about ready to start our poker game.
03:41Don't worry, Mr. Green, I'll be on my way in a minute.
03:44Okay.
03:47Well, we're about ready to start our game.
03:49What are you doing?
03:52Trying to figure out what I'm going to do with myself this evening.
03:54Lately, my old routine doesn't seem to satisfy me anymore.
03:57I'm trying to think of something new.
03:59Oh, I know.
04:00Maybe I could join you and the guys for some cards.
04:04Oh, I don't know about that, Frasier.
04:06I just don't think you'd fit in.
04:07Why not?
04:08Roz is playing.
04:09Roz is like one of the guys.
04:11She knows more dirty jokes than Duke.
04:13But that's the criterion.
04:15I'm sure I could tell you a tale or two that would make you blush like a schoolgirl.
04:19I'm afraid of.
04:21Well, let him play. It can't hurt anything.
04:24All right.
04:25Thanks, Pam.
04:26Here, let me get that for you.
04:27Oh, thanks. All right.
04:28Hey, guys.
04:29Uh, Frasier's going to sit in with us tonight.
04:33Really? You're going to play with us?
04:36Why not?
04:37Roz don't look so surprised.
04:38Sometimes there's nothing I enjoy more than a good old-fashioned night with a guy.
04:42Okay, ante up, everybody.
04:44Seven cards, stud high and low.
04:46Chips to win, eight for low.
04:48That wheel is no good.
04:49Perfect.
04:50No check and raise.
04:51Three-bump limit.
04:52Sounds good.
04:53You lost, aren't you?
04:54Like a better one in a sandstorm.
04:58So, you guys get your old weather tires on yet?
05:02I'm going to Richie's for some body work.
05:04I think I'll let him do it.
05:05Go to Tim's.
05:06You get free armor all.
05:07You ever been to Hank's?
05:09Oh, there's the garage.
05:10King Ben's.
05:11Fifty cents.
05:12Yeah, I've been to Hank's right next to Mike's Hardware, right?
05:14I was in Mike's the other day.
05:16They got those new cordless drills.
05:18You still go to Mike's?
05:19You ought to try Tommy's.
05:20They give away free battery testers with every purchase.
05:23I'm out.
05:24Get in.
05:26Hey, thanks for the morning.
05:28Well, that was a bust.
05:30Be glad you got out before the debate begins over who'd be more fun on a desert island,
05:36Angie Dickinson or Ursula Andress?
05:40It's ludicrous.
05:41It's Angie Dickinson.
05:44You know, Dr. Crane, I know it's none of my business, but...
05:50Oh, never mind.
05:51No, no, go ahead.
05:54Perhaps you've been feeling restless lately because of a lack of, well, you know, female companionship.
06:00So I thought...
06:01Oh, dear.
06:02Just listen.
06:03I'm meeting my friend Claire for drinks tonight and she's complained of feeling restless...
06:08Just stop right there.
06:10I would think by now that you'd know my policy on fix-ups.
06:13She's pretty, she's lonely and she's an underwear model.
06:17So you do know my policy.
06:18Off we go.
06:31Say hello to the fox and whistle.
06:33Well, you point her out, I will.
06:37Hey, love, give us a kiss.
06:38I hope he's talking to you.
06:41Evening, all.
06:42Daphne!
06:44Oh, there's Claire now.
06:46Oh, my, my, she's everything you said she was.
06:49I'm engaged!
06:50And more.
06:52When did this happen?
06:54Well, my old boyfriend, Bob, surprised me two nights ago.
06:58You've got to meet him, he's right over there.
07:00He even brought someone you might be interested in.
07:03Oh, he is nice-looking, isn't he?
07:06Oh, coming, Pookie.
07:10I'm sorry, Dr Crane, it seems I've dragged you down here for nothing.
07:14Oh, hardly.
07:15If not for you, I would have missed seeing the world's most nauseating couple defend their title.
07:22We can leave if you like.
07:23Oh, no, not at all. You go talk with your friend, I'll have a drink.
07:26Sure.
07:27Sure.
07:28What do you need?
07:29Well, funny, I've been asking myself that same question all day.
07:33Seems that lately my life...
07:34I'll come back.
07:41I forgot that story!
07:43Oh, geez, it still doesn't top the time Leo and I were said to break up that fight in the strip joint.
07:48Oh, boy!
07:49I remember!
07:50We walked in there, and I'm telling you, there was this one girl...
07:53Matty, Matty, Matty!
07:55Maybe you shouldn't tell that particular story.
07:57Why, because we're honest?
07:59Oh, please, Frank.
08:02If I can handle the Angie Ursula debate, I think I can handle this.
08:06Oh, yeah, you agreed with me on that one, right?
08:09You said you'd rather sleep with Angie?
08:12One more time, Leo.
08:14If I had to choose.
08:21Hey, Leo, you start telling them that strip joint story, all right?
08:25You guys are gonna bust the gut.
08:27Anybody else need a beer?
08:28Yeah.
08:29Ross?
08:30No.
08:31Remember?
08:32Oh, geez, I'm sorry, I forgot, yeah.
08:34Well, what's the matter, Ross?
08:36Thought you won't be able to control yourself with all these handsome guys here?
08:39Well, it's a little late for that, Frank.
08:41I'm pregnant.
08:42What?
08:43Really?
08:44Oh, that's great!
08:46I remember when my Annie was pregnant.
08:49There is nothing more beautiful than a pregnant broad.
08:56You're in for a real treat, Ross.
08:59Best thing I ever did was having kids.
09:01You know, from the moment you hold that brand new baby in your arms,
09:05your whole life changes.
09:07You're right about that.
09:09What about when they grab your finger with their little hands?
09:11Oh, geez, that's one of the greatest feelings there is.
09:14And the joy of seeing them look up at you and smile.
09:18Cherish every moment, Ross.
09:20He's right.
09:21One minute they're sitting on your lap, you're their whole world.
09:25Next thing, they're grown up, out the door with life to their own.
09:29And it's just you.
09:31Old and alone in an empty house.
09:35So empty.
09:46Well, I don't think you told our story right.
09:49I think that Stephen likes you.
09:52I hope so. He's adorable.
09:55I must say I was flattered when he assumed I was an underwear model too.
09:59I noticed you didn't rush to correct him.
10:02There'll be time for that after the wedding.
10:06Maybe I should just tell Dr Crane to run along home.
10:09I'm surprised you even brought your boss down here.
10:12I could never relax around mine.
10:14And what if he took a liking to the place?
10:18Oh, that's nothing I have to worry about.
10:21This pub really isn't his style.
10:43Come and sing a song with us.
10:45Well, actually I...
10:46Oh, you're not shy about singing around the house?
10:48You two live together?
10:49Yes, she's my dad's health care worker.
10:51I thought you modeled underwear.
10:53Oh, only if her robes aren't stitched up tight enough.
10:59Stephen?
11:00Come on, Fleischer, we're gonna do Knees Up, Mother Brown.
11:04I don't know Knees Up, Mother Brown.
11:06Hey, I know one. Let's bring some sheet music tomorrow night.
11:08Tomorrow?
11:09Yes.
11:10Well, you can't.
11:11I mean, do you know we have that gallery opening tomorrow?
11:15No, but if you hum a few bars, I'll try to pick it up.
11:30Hey, Sherry.
11:32Daphne's finally clearing out for a night.
11:34Why don't you come over?
11:36I'll, uh, you know, get a fire going.
11:39Open up a bottle of bubbly.
11:43Put a little Bobby Darin on the stereo.
11:47And then look out, Mackie's back in town.
11:54Yeah, I thought it out before I called you. What's the difference?
11:59Okay, see you soon.
12:03Whoa, Daphne, don't you look beautiful?
12:06It's so nice to finally have me pub back again.
12:10At least for a night.
12:11Yeah.
12:12Are you sure Dr. Crane has plans?
12:13Oh, yeah. Niall's called. We're going to the opera.
12:16Let's hope it's one of those long German ones.
12:19I don't want him showing up for last call.
12:21Right.
12:23Oh, good evening, Daphne.
12:25Wow, you look smashing.
12:27Oh, thanks. I was just on my way out.
12:29Well, to the fox and whistle.
12:31I'll go with you.
12:32Let me just grab me Mac and me brolly and Bob's your uncle.
12:35But wait.
12:36I thought you were going to the opera with your brother.
12:39Oh, no, no.
12:41You see, I hope Winston's at the pub.
12:42I owe him five quid from the other night.
12:45Suddenly, I'm not feeling so well.
12:47Oh, really?
12:48I hope it's not that flu that's going around.
12:51I think I'll just stay home tonight.
12:53Yes, well, that's probably for the best.
12:55You've got to be careful what you bring down to the pub with you.
12:57Tell me about it.
13:01Hello, Niall.
13:02Fraser.
13:05Something the matter?
13:06Oh, I had a rough night last night.
13:09Oh, so?
13:10I gave Maris her birthday saddle.
13:15She was so thrilled, she treated me to a little Lady Godiva impression.
13:19Oh, my.
13:21Apparently, the oils in the saddle reacted badly with her cellulite cream.
13:28Created a powerful epoxy.
13:33Oh, dear.
13:34Yes.
13:35It took an hour and a full bottle of nail polish remover to get her free.
13:40Today, her poor little thighs were so raw,
13:43the only way she could find comfort was to straddle a frozen butterball turkey.
13:55The only thing that cheered me up all day was the thought of her box at the opera tonight.
14:00Well, that's tomorrow night, Niall.
14:02No, no.
14:03No, it's tonight.
14:04I have the tickets right here.
14:06Oh, no.
14:08Is there a problem?
14:10Well, yes.
14:11There's a billiard tournament at the pub tonight.
14:15You're passing up Orpheus and Eurydice to shoot pool at some sticky-floored saloon?
14:20Yes, well, my partner, Terence, has agreed to skip a family wedding just to participate.
14:27I can't leave him in the lurch.
14:29Isn't there somebody else that could take my place?
14:31At this point, I'd just as soon be by myself.
14:35My brother has abandoned me.
14:37My wife is cursing my name.
14:39Tonight, when Orpheus descends into hell,
14:41I'll be there waiting for him with a fruit basket.
14:43Oh, Niall.
14:46You can't stay mad at me.
14:47I promise I'll make it up to you.
14:49Press for the lift, will you?
14:50Oh, don't look at me that way.
14:52That's what they call it.
15:05Come on.
15:16Oh, baby.
15:28Why is it so bloody dark in here?
15:32Bad enough I have to stay home all evening.
15:34I'm going blind as well.
15:35What? What, you're staying in tonight?
15:37I don't have much choice,
15:39since that son of yours decided to go to my pub again.
15:42I mean, imagine being so dense
15:45that you can completely ruin someone else's evening
15:47and not even be aware of it.
15:49This wax is dripping.
15:54Well, have you tried maybe dropping a hint?
15:59Oh, believe me, I've dropped plenty.
16:03They go right over his head.
16:05Oh, I'll have a glass of that.
16:08Look, Daphne, I've got to level with you.
16:11Sherry's coming over
16:12and I really was hoping to have the place to myself tonight.
16:15Oh.
16:16You know, I really think you ought to talk to Frasier.
16:19And I'm not just saying this
16:20because I want you to get the hell out of here.
16:24It's your pub and you ought to tell him that.
16:26He's got to go find his own place.
16:28You can't say that.
16:29Well, the longer you let it go,
16:31the more attached he's going to get to that place.
16:33But he's my boss.
16:34But it's your pub.
16:39OK.
16:41That's it.
16:43I'm going to go and talk to him.
16:44Good for you.
16:50Hello?
16:53No, Maris, sorry, you just missed him.
16:57Why are you teeth chattering?
17:01Oh.
17:05You're kidding me.
17:07Can't you just use the defroster?
17:15Well, gee, Terrence,
17:16I never dreamed we'd be eliminated
17:19from the tournament in the first round.
17:23Guess I was a little rustier than I thought.
17:26You know, maybe you can still make that wedding reception.
17:29It's in Liverpool.
17:31Well, then, these are on me.
17:35Here's Daphne.
17:36Oh, hello.
17:37Daphne.
17:38Evening, all.
17:40Dr Crane, I have to talk to you.
17:42Oh, by all means, Daphne.
17:45Oh, uh, Winston,
17:47let's have one of these pints for Miss Moon, please.
17:50Oh, this is a real nice surprise, Daphne.
17:52You must be feeling better.
17:54Here we are.
17:56You make a toast.
17:57I don't want you coming down here.
18:00I don't want you coming down here ever again.
18:05Well, I...
18:06I guess here's mud in your eye
18:07sounded kind of mean the first time, too.
18:12I'm sorry if that sounds a bit harsh,
18:14but I don't know what else to do.
18:17This pub is where I come to get away from things,
18:20including my job,
18:21and you are my boss.
18:23Daphne,
18:24I am so sorry.
18:27I know that must sound selfish.
18:29No, no, not at all.
18:31You know, back in Boston,
18:32I had a bar like this one.
18:35Certainly understand what it's like
18:37to have a place where you can
18:40get away.
18:42So,
18:44we've just got one solution.
18:46This is your bar.
18:48I'll just go.
18:50I do appreciate this, Dr Crane.
18:53I know you've made friends here, too.
18:55Yes, but I've only been coming here a week.
18:57You've got a history here.
18:58They become like family to me.
19:01I'll just settle up and go.
19:04Is this stranger, then?
19:05Hey, I've not been gone that long.
19:07Two months is all.
19:09Who's this pretty new girl?
19:11Oh, that's Daphne.
19:12She's Claire's friend.
19:13She's only been coming in the last month or so.
19:15Oh, man.
19:16Hello.
19:17Well, I'll see you at home, then, Dr Crane.
19:19You've only been coming down here for a month?
19:21That's still longer than you.
19:23Yes, well, there's certainly no way I'm leaving now.
19:27What?
19:28Daphne, this bar has filled up a void in my life.
19:30I'm certainly not going to throw that away
19:31just because you beat me here by a fortnight.
19:33Stop talking like us!
19:36Now, now.
19:38I don't know what you two are arguing about,
19:40but we sell the things around here
19:42with a quick game of cricket.
19:45Darts.
19:46Yeah, rules are on the board.
19:48There's got to be a better way than that.
19:50Oh, I don't know.
19:52It's decisive.
19:54It's better than standing around here bickering.
19:56It's not exactly my game.
19:58Well, it's not mine either.
20:00Well, all right.
20:02Let's try it.
20:04You shoot first, Daphne.
20:06You know, I'm rather proud of us.
20:08Here we are, two people with a conflict.
20:10We've found a civilized way to settle it.
20:15Oh, my.
20:17Was that good?
20:19Quite good.
20:20Lucky shot, then.
20:26You know, Daphne, if I didn't know better,
20:28I'd think you were trying to hustle me.
20:30Oh, not at all.
20:32I may have played a game or two
20:34of feathers in my day.
20:36A game or two?
20:38You just made just about the most difficult shot
20:40on the entire board.
20:42Actually, that's only the second most difficult.
20:44Oh, my.
20:46That's the most difficult.
20:48Come to think of it,
20:50there might have been
20:52a dartboard in that bar in Boston.
20:56Whoa!
20:58Look at that.
21:00It's all tied up.
21:02Yes, who'd have guessed those hands were so skilled?
21:04Certainly no one has sampled
21:06your corned beef hash.
21:14I score again!
21:16That's not something
21:18we hear out of your mouth very often.
21:26You don't want to rush this one.
21:31A lot riding on this shot.
21:33There is such a thing as sportsmanship.
21:35Oh, really?
21:37This from a woman who made armpit noises
21:39during my last round.
21:43Sod!
21:45Oh, I am so sorry, Daphne.
21:49Now all I have to do
21:51is make this relatively simple shot
21:54unless, of course,
21:56you'd like to concede defeat.
21:58Oh, that's typical American arrogance.
22:00We Brits don't know
22:02the meaning of the word defeat.
22:04Oh, really?
22:06Then I suppose you're not acquainted
22:08with that little spat
22:10we refer to as the Revolutionary War.
22:12Out of my way.
22:16Oh, just like a yank
22:18insulting us Brits
22:20to cover up your inferiority complex.
22:23Oh, what exactly
22:25should we feel inferior about?
22:27Your pioneering work
22:29in the field of soccer hooliganism?
22:33Oh, say you're worst.
22:35We both know
22:37there isn't as much dignity
22:39in this entire country
22:41as our Queen's got in her little fingers.
22:43Oh, yes, you've really bested me there.
22:45What could be more dignified
22:47than a dowdy old sandbag
22:49who wears a flower pot on her head?
22:51I win! The bar is mine!
22:55Oh, we'll lose the long faces, lads.
22:57I'm staying.
23:01Oh, good Lord, I hope he didn't take
23:03those little barbs about the motherland seriously.
23:05Perhaps you'd better leave now.
23:07Oh, no, Daphne will tell you
23:09there's no greater Anglophile than I.
23:11But really, I have all my suits made
23:13at Sapporo.
23:15You know, I spelt color with a U.
23:21Hello, Niles.
23:23Well, look who's here.
23:25Take a wrong turn
23:27on the way to the pub?
23:29Actually,
23:31that scene has grown tiresome.
23:33And I...
23:35I miss this place.
23:37I've spoken to Daphne.
23:39I take it it's over over there?
23:42You don't have to rub it in.
23:44Anyway, I know
23:46I owe you an apology
23:48from the other night,
23:50so, uh,
23:52I'm here.
23:54Brought you a peace offering.
23:58Orpheus and Eurydice.
24:00Thank you, Frasier.
24:02The Glyndebourne family?
24:04Oh, yes,
24:06the Glyndebourne family.
24:08Thank you, Frasier.
24:10The Glyndebourne production?
24:12I don't have this one.
24:14You're going to love it.
24:16The chorus of the Furies is particularly moving
24:18and Janet Baker's Act III aria.
24:20It's quite simply the best contralto solo
24:22I've ever heard.
24:24Oh, thank you, Frasier.
24:26I don't have Orpheus and Eurydice
24:28on 8-track yet.
24:30But I'm surprised to see you.
24:34No woodworking club today?
24:37Oh, to tell you the truth,
24:39I've grown tired of that crowd.
24:41With their stupid
24:43bookends and birdhouses.
24:45As soon as they finish
24:47slacking my shoe trees,
24:49I'm out of there.
24:51You got thrown out, didn't you?
24:53I did not.
24:55Frasier, I could see right through you.
24:57What are you, a psychiatrist?
24:59Oh, no, I'm not a psychiatrist,
25:01but I could see it in your face.
25:03You got kicked out, didn't you?
25:06Hey, baby, I hear
25:08the blues are calling
25:10tossed salads
25:12and scrambled eggs.
25:14Mercy.
25:16And maybe I seem
25:18a bit confused.
25:20Yeah, maybe.
25:22But I got you pegged.
25:24Ha, ha, ha, ha.
25:26But I don't know what to do
25:28with those tossed salads
25:30and scrambled eggs.
25:32Scrambled eggs.
25:36They're calling again.
25:40Scrambled eggs all over my face.
25:42What is it, boy, to do?
25:47Good night!