SOAP 1980 Season 2 episodes 7-8
SOAP 1980 Season 2 episodes 7-8
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00:00In last week's episode of Soap, Chester's brain surgery proved he wasn't responsible for Peter's murder.
00:08Ordinarily, this would have made Chester happy, but Chester doesn't remember the murder, Peter, or even himself.
00:14Jody told Dennis that Carol is pregnant and he's responsible, and that he asked her to marry him because that would be the responsible thing to do.
00:21Danny decided to drop his plan to change Elaine as it might kill her, and he doesn't want to be responsible.
00:27Confused? You won't be after this week's episode of Soap.
00:35This is the story of two sisters, Jessica Tate and Mary Campbell.
00:43These are the Tates.
00:46And these are the Campbells.
00:50And this is Soap.
00:58You shut up!
01:00Get out!
01:02Get out!
01:04There!
01:21Oh, Chester, how wonderful. Up and around already.
01:26Ah, red hair. I love redheads.
01:30See how much better he is, Mrs. Tate?
01:33He remembers your hair color. Now, I can't tell you my wife's hair color. The man has more of his marbles than I do.
01:43How are you, Mr. Tate?
01:45Fine, just fine. But the lamb chops were fatty.
01:52Lamb chops?
01:53Oh, no, it's a common mistake. He thinks I'm a butcher.
01:58So do I.
01:59Intern, are you here to take me to therapy?
02:03I'm not an intern, I'm your son.
02:06My son's a doctor.
02:10Dad, it's me, Billy. Billy, I'm not a doctor.
02:13Well, I want you to know the family is very disappointed in you.
02:19Darling, you'll be coming home soon. Won't that be nice?
02:25Will you?
02:26Yes.
02:28This is nice. I like her. Great balambas.
02:34Oh, this will be fun.
02:38Excuse me, I have a surgery to perform.
02:42I hope it's not a vasectomy.
02:45Hi.
02:46Hi.
02:49Well, I'm here. What's the surprise?
02:51Well, it isn't really a surprise. Maybe a little surprise. It's not a very big surprise.
02:56Just tell me.
02:59I've decided to marry you.
03:01Really?
03:02Yes.
03:03Really?
03:04Yes.
03:05Really?
03:06Yes.
03:07Really?
03:08Yes.
03:09Really?
03:10Yes.
03:11Really?
03:12Yes.
03:13Really?
03:15What a surprise.
03:18That's a great surprise. I'm really glad.
03:24Well, now, I have another surprise that maybe isn't really a surprise. It's kind of a...
03:31Carol, just tell me.
03:34Well, my father just came into town, and I thought, you know, that since he's here, we should tell him.
03:41We?
03:42Well, Daddy's kind of overprotective. He's always thought of me as his princess, so I thought you could tell him.
03:55Wonderful. I have to tell him that the princess is going to marry the queen.
04:05He already knows you're gay.
04:08No, I told him that when we moved in together, so he wouldn't worry.
04:11Oh, it's going to be so easy. Come on.
04:13Easy.
04:14Here he is.
04:15Hi, Daddy.
04:18You must be Jody, huh?
04:19Nice to meet you, Mr. David.
04:21Hey.
04:24Please call me Boomer.
04:25Boomer?
04:26Yeah, it's just an old nickname. When I played fullback at Duke, nothing could stop me.
04:32Hey, scotch neat.
04:37How's my princess?
04:39Just fine, Daddy.
04:40Yeah, I call her princess.
04:41Yeah, I noticed.
04:44Well, Daddy, I have something that I want to tell you.
04:47Oh, shoot, princess.
04:50I'm... Uh, we... Uh, he...
04:57What she's trying to say is we're going to be married.
05:01You too?
05:02Yeah.
05:04I thought he was, uh...
05:07I am.
05:08Well, that doesn't seem to make a lot of sense.
05:11Oh, well, yes, it does, you see, because I'm pre...
05:15What?
05:18We're...
05:22The princess is pregnant, Boomer.
05:31Pregnant?
05:33Well, Jody, that's very noble of you.
05:36But, uh, what about the guy that's responsible?
05:39Where's he?
05:44You?
05:45Mr. David, for what it's worth, I'm going to be a very good husband and father.
05:49You'll never have to worry about Carol.
05:51Well, thanks, Jody. Uh, I appreciate that.
05:54It's, uh... It's just that it's a bit of a surprise.
05:57In my day, things were a little different.
05:59But the most important thing is Carol's happiness, what she wants.
06:04If she's happy, I'm happy. That's all I care about.
06:07Oh, thank you, Daddy.
06:09Excuse me, Mr. Dallas, there's a phone call for you.
06:12Oh, thank you. I'll, uh, be right back, Boomer.
06:17All right.
06:18All right, let me tell you something.
06:20If you ever bring that faggot around,
06:24I'll knock his teeth down his throat.
06:26I'll knock his teeth down his throat.
06:29Well, Daddy, if that's the way you feel, then why did you say the things you did?
06:33Well, a person has to be civil.
06:46Here.
06:47What's this for?
06:48To wear. They're your clothes.
06:50You're giving them back to me?
06:52Yeah.
06:53It's a trick. You want me to put them on so you can rip them off again.
06:56No, no, it's not a trick, Elaine.
06:58I don't want to do that anymore.
07:00So what's your plan now, to kill me?
07:03I don't have any more plans, Elaine.
07:09I'm giving up.
07:10What does that mean?
07:12It means I don't know what to do.
07:14There's one thing I do know, and that's I can't go on like this.
07:18Of course, I don't have a lot of happy choices.
07:20Being with you has been murder, and leaving you would literally be murder, so I don't know.
07:25It's that awful, huh?
07:27It's that awful, being with me.
07:29It sure has been.
07:31And the thing is that there was a time when I had the feeling it didn't have to be.
07:38Once, I think you had a day when you were nice.
07:43Just a nice, normal lady, and I really enjoyed you.
07:47In fact, I thought we had great possibilities.
07:50But then the next day, you were spitting food at me and calling me yuts.
07:56I don't hate you, Danny.
07:58Well, you sure give the best damn impression of it I've ever seen.
08:01I know.
08:02Well, why do you do that, Elaine?
08:04Why do you treat people that way?
08:07It's a long story.
08:11I got time.
08:17I had a sister once.
08:19She was a couple of years older than me.
08:22Her name was Diana.
08:26She was bright and beautiful and good and kind.
08:31She was one of those people who made everybody around her feel good.
08:37When she was 16, she was killed in a car accident.
08:42The night she died, my father, in his grief, said to me,
08:47Why wasn't it you?
08:51So, my mother was dead, and my sister was dead.
08:56And my father, who I loved more than anyone else in this world,
09:00wished I was dead.
09:05And I got angry.
09:08I got angry, cold, mean.
09:13And I decided then never to love anybody ever again.
09:23Oh, Elaine, I didn't know.
09:28I love you, Danny.
09:32And maybe someday, if it's not already too late,
09:36you'll love me.
09:42I love you.
09:57Hi.
10:00What are you doing down here?
10:02I was waiting up for you. I guess I didn't make it.
10:05Something wrong?
10:07No, no. I just wanted to see you.
10:10I haven't seen you for three days.
10:12Three days? Mary, come on. You saw me this morning.
10:15This morning I saw you as you were leaving the bathroom and I was entering.
10:19You said, Good morning. We're out of toilet paper.
10:24You're never here. You're always working.
10:26Come on. Hey, I'm building a future. This is for us, kiddo, for you.
10:30So you can have everything you ever dreamed of, like a bigger house, huh?
10:33Don't you want a bigger house?
10:35No, we don't want a bigger house.
10:37Mary, go back to sleep. I'll talk to you in the morning.
10:40Everybody doesn't want a bigger house.
10:42I don't. I couldn't care less about those things.
10:45When did you ever hear me say I wanted a bigger house?
10:48All I want is you.
10:50You got me. You got me.
10:52I just want you to have everything.
10:55My friend Margo has everything.
10:58Her husband built an empire and she has everything.
11:01Except her husband, of course.
11:04You know how happy she is?
11:06She starts the day with cocoa puffs and vodka.
11:11By 12 o'clock, she's forgotten her name.
11:15But I have everything I want and everything I need right here with you.
11:22I also need to do it for me.
11:26That's something else.
11:29I need to know I can do it.
11:32My father never did it.
11:34He tried, never did it.
11:37He was a short man.
11:39You know, not more than 5'6".
11:42A little guy with gigantic dreams.
11:45He always figured if he couldn't be tall, he could be big.
11:49Well, he wasn't either.
11:52He had to watch his kids grow up on potatoes.
11:54I'm lucky I got a tooth in my head here.
11:58We never had enough to eat or rooms of our own.
12:04He was a beaten man.
12:07He always looked like something was hurting.
12:13Even when he smiled, he looked like something hurt.
12:17I don't want to be my father, Mary.
12:21But every time I look in the mirror, I'm afraid I'm going to see his
12:25hurting, scared little smile on my face.
12:31I need to do it for me.
12:34You're going to keep doing it?
12:37I got to, Mary.
12:41Come on. What are you thinking?
12:45Well, I'm thinking, yes, I understand you.
12:49And yes, I see what you mean.
12:53I'm also thinking that tomorrow, when you're driving home,
12:58and some drunk jumps the center divider and you wind up dead,
13:02you will have spent the last days and nights of your life working.
13:09I'm also thinking that.
13:12Well, that's the last time I ask you what you're thinking.
13:20It's late. Let's go to sleep.
13:28I love you.
13:30I know.
13:32Come on.
13:38Hi, everybody.
13:40Mary.
13:42My goodness. What is that?
13:45It's my famous apple walnut coffee ring.
13:48I made it for Chester. It's his favorite.
13:50Oh, that's so generous of you, Mary.
13:53Do you think Chester will remember it's his favorite?
13:57So what's going on with you three?
13:59Well, Eunice is depressed, and Corinne is depressed.
14:02And I was just debating whether or not to join them.
14:07Sounds like fun.
14:10Actually, I think I've been depressed quite a lot lately.
14:14I mean, I eat a lot and I just simply cannot sit still.
14:19I don't think you're depressed, Ma.
14:22I think you're horny.
14:29What is horny?
14:44What you feel like when you're not having any sex.
14:48Horny?
14:49What a funny word.
14:50Well, actually, I am not having any sex because Chester's in the hospital, but Mary, I don't
15:05think not having sex could make me eat a lot.
15:08Wrong.
15:09I have been eating like a pig.
15:13Bert can't again?
15:14No, he can, but he's never home.
15:19I've gained six pounds since my wedding.
15:22That makes no sense at all.
15:24Well, when Tim's mother died, so did our sex life.
15:27I've gained five pounds since Dutch left.
15:30Dutch?
15:31You and Dutch?
15:32Eunice, he's a criminal.
15:34Oh, you're going to lecture me, Mrs. Fallen Priest?
15:38Mary, look, we've eaten all the nuts.
15:43You know, I'd love a piece of that.
15:44No, not Corinne.
15:46That's for Daddy.
15:47Oh, just one piece?
15:48Well, look, since it's a ring, I could cut out one piece and then put it together.
15:59I love sex.
16:00So do I.
16:01Well, actually, I think it's pretty wonderful, too, but I'm not entirely sure I should.
16:13Mary, could I have just a little piece of that?
16:16You see, our mother never told us that it would be pleasant.
16:20No, what Mother said was that it was required, like going to school had been, and that the
16:26best thing to do was close your eyes and make out your grocery list.
16:31And she also said that if you were really lucky, your husband would have a mistress,
16:36and then the mistress would get stuck with him.
16:38What a terrible way to live.
16:43Well, Corinne, that was a long time ago before they discovered sex wasn't filth.
16:48It took you a long time to tell me that sex was nice.
16:54That's because you knew before I did.
16:59I like it in the morning.
17:08I think the earliest I ever had it was noon.
17:13I don't think that could be counted as the morning.
17:17Bert likes it in the morning, too.
17:20I don't like the morning because of all that light.
17:22What, you like it in the dark?
17:24Mm-hmm.
17:25Not me.
17:26You never know who you're with.
17:29I keep track.
17:35What I mean is, it's nice to see a person's face.
17:39Face?
17:52Well, I like it in another room.
17:59Doesn't that make it very difficult for Bert?
18:05No.
18:06With him, Jessie.
18:08With him in another room.
18:11Where?
18:12Oh.
18:13The kitchen.
18:14Outside is nice.
18:15Well, I don't think it really matters.
18:16Where you do it, just as long as you do it well.
18:18Bert does it very well.
18:22I don't think it really matters where you do it,
18:25just as long as you do it well.
18:30Bert does it very well.
18:34With my first husband, however,
18:36it was like a news bulletin.
18:38Brief, unexpected,
18:40and usually a disaster.
18:42It was like a news bulletin.
18:44It was like a news bulletin.
18:46It was like a news bulletin.
18:48It was like a news bulletin.
18:50It was like a news bulletin.
18:52It was like a disaster.
18:56Oh, Mary.
18:58Look what we've done.
19:01The whole thing.
19:02We almost ate the whole thing.
19:04We couldn't have.
19:05I only had one piece.
19:07Me, too.
19:08That's all I had.
19:10Eunice, please.
19:11One piece.
19:12You had at least three.
19:13Me?
19:14Oh, please.
19:15Your mouth hasn't been empty for a minute.
19:16Girl, please, don't fight.
19:19I'll make Chester another.
19:21Anyway, it's not our fault.
19:22It's theirs.
19:23Whose?
19:24The men.
19:25If we weren't so frustrated,
19:26we wouldn't be eating like this.
19:28That's right.
19:29If I wasn't really so horny,
19:30I wouldn't be eating this apple ring.
19:34I don't even like this apple ring.
19:36I think I had six pieces.
19:48Gambling, son.
19:49Bert.
19:50I know you're busy,
19:51but what I figure is this.
19:58Churches don't have to pay taxes, right?
20:05Right.
20:06Okay, what we do is
20:07we put a steeple
20:08on top of this building
20:09that we're building.
20:10No taxes.
20:13A steeple on top of a
20:1445-story office building, huh?
20:15Right.
20:16Yeah, well,
20:17better fool them.
20:18And a bell.
20:19A steeple and a bell.
20:21A steeple and a bell, huh?
20:22Yeah.
20:23Sounds good idea.
20:24Yeah?
20:25Yeah, it's really very good.
20:26Yeah, I thought you'd like it.
20:27I'm gonna get right on it.
20:34Yeah.
20:40What's the matter with you?
20:42Danny, that's the most idiotic idea
20:44I ever heard.
20:46Danny, hey, come on.
20:47Go home.
20:48You used to stay here
20:49because you didn't want to go home,
20:51and now you've got something
20:53nice to go home to, huh?
20:54Yeah.
20:55Go home.
20:56To Elaine,
20:57my wife,
20:58who I love.
21:04Good night, Sal.
21:05Good night, Danny.
21:09Would you sign this for me, please?
21:10Yeah, what is it?
21:11A letter of recommendation
21:12to help me find a new job.
21:14What?
21:15I can't stay here.
21:17Sally, what are you talking about?
21:19You're the best.
21:20You're the most incredible secretary
21:21I've ever had.
21:22Bert, I'm in love with you.
21:27I can't stay here
21:28because I'm in love with you.
21:30No, you're not.
21:31You're not.
21:32What you're having is not love.
21:34What you're having here is, uh...
21:36Is, uh...
21:38Lust.
21:39Maybe lust could be lust.
21:42I know it sounds like your typical lust,
21:44and lust is not serious.
21:46Lust just lasts two or three days and...
21:48It's gone.
21:51I'm ugly.
21:52That's it.
21:54You're not ugly.
21:55What are you talking about, ugly?
21:56What makes you think that you're ugly?
21:58Because you don't want me.
21:59Because I'm married,
22:00not because you're ugly,
22:01of which you're not.
22:02Yes, I am.
22:03Sally, please.
22:05If I wasn't married,
22:06I'd be with you in a second.
22:07You would?
22:09Sure.
22:10You're a very desirable person.
22:12No.
22:13Yeah, look.
22:14You've got very pretty hair.
22:16Oh, thank you.
22:17And your eyes,
22:18you've got gorgeous blue eyes.
22:21And, um...
22:22You've got a mouth.
22:24You've got a wonderful mouth.
22:25It's like a very sensual mouth.
22:27And, uh...
22:28Oh, you've got legs.
22:30Excuse me.
22:31Look at that.
22:32I'm ugly.
22:33I'm married.
22:34You're not.
22:35Please, I can't concentrate.
22:36Nights, I can't sleep on the rec
22:38because I love you.
22:39Sally.
22:40Sally, listen to me.
22:41Listen to me now.
22:42You feel this way right now
22:43because there is a slight vacuum in your life,
22:46and you want to put me in there to fill it up.
22:48That's all.
22:49That's it.
22:50Come on.
22:51Sally, stay, please.
22:52Stay.
22:55Okay, I'll stay.
22:56Good girl!
22:57Whoop!
23:06But if you should change your mind about us...
23:09Oh, I'll get in touch.
23:11Any time, any place, please.
23:14I'm yours.
23:15It's good to know.
23:16It's good to know.
23:41Do Jessica, Mary, Corinne, and Eunice
23:43get what they'd love to get,
23:45or will they just get fat?
23:46These questions and many others
23:48will be answered on next week's episode of Soap.
23:54In last week's episode of Soap,
23:56Carol told Jodi she'd love to marry him,
23:59but Carol's father was not in love with the idea.
24:01Chester is coming home to his loved ones
24:04and would love it if he knew who they were.
24:06Mary's professor would love to see more of Mary,
24:09but Carol would love it if her professor would leave her alone.
24:11Bert has met Mary's professor
24:13and would love Mary to leave school.
24:15Eunice would love to see more of Dutch, who she loves,
24:18but she can't because Dutch is running from the police
24:21who would love to catch him.
24:22Elaine told Danny she loves him
24:24and hopes it's not too late for him to love her, too.
24:27Danny would love to love her.
24:29And Sally told Bert she loves him
24:31and she'd love to be his lover.
24:34Confused?
24:35You won't be after this week's episode of Soap.
24:40This is the story of two sisters,
24:44Jessica Tate and Mary Campbell.
24:49These are the Tates.
24:52And these are the Campbells.
24:56And this is Soap.
25:09Soap.
25:28So you see, Colonel, if we leave before dusk,
25:31we can seize and destroy that bunker.
25:33And that would be a good thing to do, you say?
25:35It's the only logical step in the liberation of France.
25:39Bentley.
25:41Could you help me?
25:42Sure.
25:43My wife will be down in a moment.
25:45What does she look like?
25:48Dumpy, broad, short, black hair.
25:51Nose like a fist.
25:54What's your name?
25:55Eric.
25:57Thanks.
25:59The bunker, Colonel.
26:01Major, are you sure that I'm Colonel Tate?
26:04Positive, sir.
26:06Oh.
26:09Baldwin.
26:12What is that?
26:13Steak.
26:14It's burnt.
26:15You like it that way.
26:18Good morning, darling.
26:20Ah, Monica, right?
26:22Jessica.
26:23I'm Chester, dear.
26:25I'm your wife.
26:27You are?
26:28Okay, great.
26:33We get along, don't we?
26:34Yes.
26:36How are you feeling today, Dad?
26:38Dad?
26:40I just introduced myself to him in the bathroom.
26:42But, darling, he only remembers things for a little while.
26:45About five seconds.
26:47This is Billy Chester.
26:49Ah, Billy Chester.
26:52Hello.
26:53I'm your son, Billy.
26:55My son?
26:56My own son?
26:58Oh, what a wonderful thing.
27:00A son, Geraldine.
27:04A fine, strong son.
27:07Oh, Billy.
27:09Bill.
27:10My boy Bill will be strong and as tall as a tree.
27:15My Bill.
27:17Have a seat, son.
27:19Smoke?
27:22No, thanks.
27:24Keep it from the rest of the troops, but the Colonel is a lunatic.
27:29Morning.
27:30Good morning.
27:31Good morning.
27:32Have we met?
27:33Begging the Colonel's pardon, sir.
27:35But what about our mission?
27:37Oh, oh, quite right, Major.
27:39Quite right.
27:43Promise me you'll be here when I return, Marjorie.
27:46Yes.
27:47Well, I'm off.
27:49I'll say.
27:51When Johnny comes marching home again tomorrow.
27:56A real loony.
27:59Mother, what are we going to do about Daddy?
28:01What do you mean?
28:03I think he needs to be somewhere where he can get proper care.
28:06He can't get that here.
28:08Maybe there's some place that has some sort of therapy that can help him.
28:11Oh, Eunice.
28:13You mean put Daddy away in an institution?
28:17But darling, the doctor said that he might snap out of it any time.
28:23And maybe not.
28:25Eunice, I don't want him to come out of it with a bunch of strangers.
28:30I mean, if he looks up and sees a bunch of faces he doesn't recognize,
28:34he might not know he's come out of it.
28:44Dad and Gramps just blew up Mr. Kirby's garage.
28:49Mr. Kirby's going to be very upset.
28:53Especially since he was parking his car at the time.
29:06Here it is. I packed it up for you.
29:08Thanks.
29:09I think everything is here.
29:10Great. Before I forget, I want to give you back your key.
29:13Why don't you keep it?
29:15What am I going to do with it?
29:16Well, you never know. Maybe someday you'll...
29:18Then I'll ring the bell.
29:20Getting married doesn't mean that we have to stop, but...
29:22It does.
29:23Come on.
29:24My blue v-neck. You know, I thought I'd lost that.
29:26Listen, you know, a lot of guys have mistresses.
29:28You'll have me.
29:31But that is not mine, Dennis. That is yours.
29:34No, it isn't.
29:35Well, it's not mine.
29:36Sure it is. You bought it at the flea market.
29:38Dennis, never in my life have I bought a ceramic hippo.
29:42It's yours.
29:43Why is it mine? Because you hate it?
29:44Fine. It's not yours. It's mine. I love it. Thank you. I wish I had two.
29:47All right. I'll keep the hippo.
29:48I mean, if you think she won't like the hippo, I'll take it.
29:50It has nothing to do with her.
29:52Hey, it doesn't go with her decor. I understand.
29:55It clashes with early uptight.
29:58Goodbye, Dennis.
29:59Jody, wait. I'm sorry. Please wait.
30:01What do you want me to do? Crawl?
30:03I mean, I'd rebuff you just one little time.
30:05Rebuffed?
30:06You got married.
30:08Well, still, how long are you going to make me pay for it?
30:10That's not what I'm doing, Dennis. That's not what I'm doing at all.
30:14Well, come on. Don't tell me you're marrying Carol because you've suddenly gone straight.
30:17No, I'm marrying her partly because I should and partly because I want to.
30:21And what about us? I thought you loved me.
30:25I do.
30:28Then how can you marry her?
30:30Dennis, she's having my baby.
30:33So she's having your baby. So what?
30:35And anyway, how do you know it's yours?
30:37It's mine.
30:38I mean, it could be anybody's. It probably is.
30:40Dennis, come on.
30:42Judy, the little slut has got more guys jumping her than the hurdles.
30:47And you're going to be the jerk that supports her.
30:49Well, I hope you're happy with spit up on your shoulder and a milkman with your wife.
31:12Eunice.
31:17Eunice.
31:23Dutch!
31:25Eunice, is that you?
31:27Who is it, please?
31:28What do you mean, who is it? It's me.
31:30Dutch!
31:32Eunice, keep it down, will you? We don't want the whole world to know we're up here.
31:35Oh, it's okay. Only Mrs. Mendelbaum knows.
31:37Who's Mrs. Mendelbaum?
31:39She's the super of this building. She buzzed me in. Didn't she buzz you in?
31:42Eunice, I just escaped from prison. Nobody has to buzz me in.
31:46Eunice.
31:48What are you doing on that roof?
31:50You said to meet you on a roof. So here I am. On a roof. Meeting.
31:54Eunice, I said 814 Delancey Street. You're on 816 Delancey Street.
31:58You said 816 Delancey Street.
32:01No, I didn't.
32:02Yes, you did. You said 816 Delancey Street.
32:04I know this because your birthday is August 16th. 816, see?
32:08Eunice, my birthday is August the 14th.
32:12Oh, well, Dutch, come over to my roof, okay?
32:18No, Eunice, it's better this way. Because this is goodbye.
32:23What?
32:24This is goodbye.
32:25Are you crazy? You call me down to a slum in the middle of the night for goodbye?
32:31Well, yeah.
32:32I come down here on a subway full of flashers right into the middle of junky heaven for goodbye?
32:40Stay right there, Dutch. Don't move from your roof.
32:43I'm coming right over there to push you off.
32:46Eunice, Eunice, this is crazy. You can't be involved with me. It's no good for you.
32:50And if I'm with you, I'm gonna get caught.
32:52Don't worry about it. In another two minutes, you're gonna be dead.
32:54Eunice, don't try to come across there. You could fall.
32:58Eunice? Eunice, what is it?
33:00I'm scared of heights.
33:01Stay right there.
33:03Oh, I'm so nauseous.
33:04Don't move.
33:05What if I throw up?
33:06Don't look down.
33:08Oh, I hate you.
33:09Eunice, I love you.
33:10Yeah, you love me so much, you're leaving me.
33:12But I'm doing it for you. I'm leaving you for you.
33:15Don't do me any favors. I don't want you to leave me. I hate you.
33:19No, I don't. I love you.
33:21Okay. Okay. I won't do it. I'll take it with me.
33:25Oh.
33:26Oh!
33:32Eunice.
33:33Oh, darling.
33:34Eunice.
33:35Yeah?
33:36We're six stories up.
33:37We can't make love in midair.
33:38What do you think, I'm a dragonfly?
33:42Back up, honey.
33:43Okay, darling.
33:44Listen, here's the plan.
33:46My grandmother has a little farm upstate New York.
33:49And nobody knows it's there.
33:50I'm gonna give you my directions how to get there.
33:52And you read them very carefully.
33:54And I'll be there tomorrow night.
33:56Oh, such a farm. Our own little farm.
33:59Oh, I'm so happy.
34:01Oh!
34:02Oh, let go.
34:03Honey.
34:04Yes, darling.
34:05Let go.
34:06Here. Here's the directions.
34:08Here.
34:10Now, you come as soon as you can.
34:12Okay. Goodbye, my darling.
34:14And be careful.
34:16Don't hug me. Just kiss me.
34:19I'd better go.
34:21Remember, Mom's a word.
34:23Okay. Shh. I'm sorry.
34:30Mrs. Mandelbaum!
34:55Where is it?
34:56Where is it?
34:57I smelled it coming up the driveway.
35:00Oh, I love popcorn.
35:03You know, when I go to the movies,
35:05it's just eat the popcorn.
35:06I don't care what's playing.
35:08Me, too.
35:09You know, one day, when you were two years old,
35:12I gave you some popcorn.
35:14You shoved it up your little nose.
35:21That wasn't a sad story.
35:24What's the matter?
35:26I'm pregnant.
35:30Oh, Corinne. Oh, that's wonderful.
35:33I mean, that is really wonderful.
35:36No?
35:38It's a terrible time to have a baby.
35:41Tim can't find a job, and we're living here.
35:44He's so depressed.
35:46How can I have a baby when everything's wrong?
35:48You mean you want to wait until everything's right?
35:52You might never have a baby.
35:57But you see, when I thought of me pregnant,
36:01I kind of pictured it differently, you know?
36:04Like, I pictured a little Cape Cod house
36:08with a vegetable garden and Tim going off to work
36:12and me fixing food in my little country kitchen.
36:16The only thing I got right was the food.
36:19It's just not how I pictured it.
36:22Nothing ever is.
36:25Do you think it would be wrong if I didn't have the baby?
36:28It isn't a question of wrong,
36:31but I do think that if you don't want a baby,
36:34then you shouldn't have a baby.
36:37You know what?
36:39I think you want the baby.
36:44I do.
36:46It's just I'm afraid to have a baby when we have nothing.
36:50Oh, you have more than nothing?
36:53I mean, you may not have the kitchen and the garden and the house,
36:56but you have Tim.
36:58He loves you very much.
37:01That's much better than a Cape Cod kitchen, Corinna.
37:04It's a Cape Cod house, Mom.
37:06It's much better than a Cape Cod house, Corinna.
37:09I know.
37:11Why do you want to live on Cape Cod?
37:17I mean, it's very damp, Corinna.
37:19You're never going to have a nice hairdo.
37:22I don't want to live on Cape Cod.
37:25Then why do you want a house there?
37:30It's a type of house, Mom.
37:37You're scared, aren't you?
37:40You know, every time I was pregnant, I was scared.
37:45I was always afraid I wouldn't know how to be a mother,
37:48although I already was a mother.
37:50But I was always scared that I wouldn't know how to do it.
37:54And I did it.
37:56You think I'd be a good mother?
37:58You'll be a wonderful mother.
38:00Like me?
38:05It's kind of exciting, you know?
38:07I know.
38:09I'm going to have a baby.
38:11You told me.
38:13A baby.
38:15A baby.
38:17My baby is going to have a baby.
38:27Now, I don't want you to think that I started that train strike just to drive you home.
38:31Thanks for the ride.
38:33You have incredible eyes.
38:35No, they cross.
38:38Listen, I've got a headache.
38:40Could I trouble you for some aspirin?
38:42I don't have any.
38:43Could you look?
38:45Oh, yes.
38:47Wait right here.
39:13Hello.
39:15Hi.
39:17Geez, I'm sorry.
39:19We thought we were alone.
39:21Obviously.
39:22Hi.
39:23Hi, Ma.
39:24Sit down.
39:25Professor Martins was just having some aspirin and then he's leaving, so sit.
39:29No, no, it's okay.
39:30We really have to go.
39:31Oh, don't be silly.
39:32Stay.
39:33There's no reason to leave.
39:34No, that's okay.
39:35We have tickets to go see Chorus Line.
39:37Oh, forget it.
39:38It's a terrible play.
39:39It got awful reviews.
39:41Don't waste your time.
39:43Stay here.
39:44Ma, Chorus Line has been a hit for a couple of years.
39:48Oh, Chorus Line.
39:49Yeah.
39:50I thought you said Conga Line.
39:52Because Conga Line was a terrible play.
39:54No, it's Chorus Line we're seeing.
39:57Good night, Ma.
39:58Good night, Matt.
39:59Good night.
40:00Good night, Professor.
40:01Good night.
40:02Good night.
40:06Well, did the devil in this Jones leave?
40:10Hi, Chuck.
40:11Hello, Bob.
40:12How are you?
40:13Uh, right now?
40:14How does y'all looking for action?
40:15No, we were just on our way out, Mary.
40:17Oh, no.
40:18Don't go.
40:19Stay.
40:20Just sit down.
40:21Let's chat for a while.
40:22Oh, not tonight, Mary.
40:23Not tonight.
40:24Because tonight I got me a date with a doll.
40:30How was the aspirin?
40:31Oh, fine, fine.
40:33Good.
40:35Well, good night.
40:37Oh, so soon?
40:38Oh, so soon?
40:40Good night.
40:44How'd you get that?
40:45What?
40:46My neck?
40:49That scar.
40:50Oh.
40:51Oh, that.
40:52Well, uh, when my sister and I were young,
40:54we saw this Errol Flynn movie,
40:55and we were practicing a duel with coat hangers,
40:58and she won.
40:59Oh, horrible.
41:00Horrible.
41:01Well, it happened over 36 years ago.
41:03I'm over the initial shock.
41:06Anto, what in the world are you doing?
41:08Well, I'm just attracted to you,
41:09and I can't help showing my feelings.
41:11Well, I can't help showing my feelings either.
41:13Get out.
41:14Mary.
41:15Anto, please.
41:16What are you doing?
41:17No, wait.
41:32Well, I'm not just going to stand here.
41:35I'll go tell him.
41:37Tell him what?
41:40Oh, God.
41:41Bert, do something.
41:43What can I do?
41:44Do what?
41:47Oh, God.
41:50Get me away from here.
41:52Oh, boy.
41:55Well, you are lucky my husband wasn't here to see this,
41:57because you would not be alive to groan.
42:01Get out.
42:04Get out.
42:30Come in.
42:31I don't know who else to call.
42:34What happened?
42:36You said anytime.
42:39That's right.
42:40Anytime, anywhere, anyplace.
42:43Well, I know it's late, but here I am anyhow.
42:46Bert, what happened?
42:48Nothing much.
42:50I went home and found Mary and her professor.
42:54Mary and her...
42:58I found Mary and her professor.
43:02Oh, no.
43:04Yeah, I didn't know what to do.
43:06I didn't know whether to burst in or what.
43:08I felt like bursting in.
43:10I was so angry, but I didn't know what to do once I burst in.
43:13I mean, I wasn't going to kill him, so why burst in?
43:17What was I going to do?
43:18Burst in, put out some taco chips and talk about it?
43:24So I just went to a bar and I had a drink.
43:27Or 17.
43:29It's okay, though, because you hold my liquor very well.
43:36Hey.
43:38Hey, maybe it was the professor and some other woman.
43:42Maybe Mary loaned them the couch.
43:45Hey.
43:56That wasn't very strong, Rosal.
43:58That was ginger ale, Bert.
44:00I think you've had enough.
44:02Hey, you know what?
44:06It was probably the upholsterer.
44:09Maybe it was the upholsterer.
44:11It was probably the upholsterer.
44:14Mary wanted new flip covers for the couch,
44:16and he was getting a look at it.
44:19An upholsterer who looked like the professor
44:22giving a good look at the couch.
44:25On top of Mary.
44:28I'm going to kill him!
44:34Crazy place for a table.
44:37Who puts the paper in here?
44:42Don't panic.
44:58Bert.
44:59You're not going home.
45:01You're too drunk and you're too upset.
45:03What's he do?
45:05What's he do, recite poetry to her?
45:07Is that the big attraction now?
45:09Is that the big attraction now?
45:11Is that what does a little poetry?
45:13A guy comes along and tells you your eyes are pools,
45:16off come the penny hoes.
45:19Is that what I have to go through life worried about?
45:22Guys who rhyme their way into my marriage.
45:26I can't believe she did that to you.
45:27I mean, I just can't believe it.
45:29Well, if you can't believe it,
45:31can you imagine the trouble I'm having here?
45:35How could she ever do that to you?
45:37If I was married to you,
45:39I'd never even look at another man.
45:42You wouldn't?
45:43Oh, are you kidding?
45:45Doesn't she know how lucky she is?
45:48She should thank God she has you.
45:51Instead, she's all, God, it makes me sick.
45:55She'd do that to you.
45:57And in your own house, no less.
45:59No, on our couch.
46:01On your couch.
46:02I'd pick that couch out.
46:04You didn't.
46:05You didn't.
46:06The color, I'd pick out the color.
46:09The good color goes with everything.
46:12Oh, it's going with everything now.
46:16Oh, God.
46:18Mary, I never thought she would do that.
46:21I mean, how could she do what she's doing?
46:24You know, what am I gonna do now that she's done what she did?
46:28Oh, God.
46:30It's my Mary, too.
46:32I wanna die.
46:36Bert, you can't leave.
46:39I could if I could find the door.
46:42You're in absolutely no condition to go anywhere.
46:46You're sleeping here tonight.
46:49Where?
46:50On the couch.
46:51Oh, well, as long as it's on the couch.
46:56With me.
47:06No, no, no, no, no, no.
47:12Will Eunice be happy living on a farm with Dutch?
47:15Will Jody be happy with Carol?
47:17Or will he be unhappy without Dennis?
47:19How happy will Tim be when he finds out Corrine is pregnant?
47:23Will Bert make Sally happy?
47:25And if he does, how happy will that make Bert?
47:28Will Mary be happy studying English in the professor's class?
47:31Or should she take karate instead?
47:33For the sake of everyone's happiness, should Jessica put Chester away, or should she let him go through life as a happy-go-lucky idiot?
47:40These questions and many others will be answered on next week's episode of Soap.