SOAP 1980 Season 1 episodes 23-24
SOAP 1980 Season 1 episodes 23-24
Transcript
00:00In last week's episode of Soap, Bert checked into the mental institution to try and cure
00:06his invisibility, while Carol has lured Jody away for the weekend to try to put an end
00:11to his homosexuality.
00:13Meanwhile, Prosecutor Franklin has promised Judge Petrillo a surprise witness who will
00:18put an end to Jessica.
00:20Confused?
00:21You won't be after this week's episode of Soap.
00:29This is the story of two sisters, Jessica Tate and Mary Campbell.
00:36These are the Tates.
00:39And these are the Campbells.
00:43And this is Soap.
00:59Waiting for Walter?
01:24Mrs. McCallum.
01:25He's running a little late.
01:27And I just couldn't bear the thought of you sitting here all alone, so I came to keep
01:30you company.
01:31Oh, I'm not waiting for Walter.
01:32David.
01:33Waiter.
01:34A martini.
01:35I want you to stop seeing him.
01:39The waiter?
01:40No.
01:41Walter.
01:42Oh, I don't know what you're talking about.
01:45You and my husband?
01:47The Standish Hotel in Boston, the Ritz Hotel in Hartford, the Plaza Hotel in New York,
01:52the Trafalgar Hotel in New Haven?
01:54Not New Haven.
01:55Never in...
01:56Never...
01:57All right.
01:58Now that we've gotten that out of the way, I want you to stop seeing him.
02:02No, I won't.
02:03We love each other.
02:04Oh, please.
02:05Love?
02:06Walter doesn't love anyone.
02:08Walter is the most totally self-absorbed person in the world.
02:12We have a seven-year-old daughter, Abigail.
02:14Walter calls her Amanda.
02:15Seven years, he still doesn't know her name.
02:18Thank you.
02:19So, do you bow out gracefully, or do I tell Walter to dump you?
02:24Are you kidding?
02:25Walter would never dump me.
02:36Guess she spotted me.
02:40We were just talking about you.
02:42Small world.
02:43I've imagined the three of us running into each other in the same restaurant.
02:46Don't bother, Walter.
02:47Bother?
02:48It's no bothers.
02:49No bother at all.
02:50She knows, darling.
02:51She knows?
02:52Ah.
02:54Yes.
02:55And I was just telling Eunice that if you had to make a choice between the two of us,
02:59I know you'd choose me.
03:00You see, I took out a small insurance policy, a detective,
03:04who, among other things, discovered that you were being blackmailed.
03:07I paid the blackmailer and bought the most interesting set of pictures.
03:11By the way, darling, you don't photograph well.
03:14Now, should you ever see her again, I will give those negatives to the press.
03:21You'd do that?
03:23You'd ruin my career.
03:24That's right.
03:25You don't need a career, darling.
03:27I'll support us.
03:28You'd see to it that I never held any office again?
03:30Correct.
03:31We could go away.
03:32No money, no job, no nothing?
03:34Uh-huh.
03:35We'd have each other.
03:36Eunice.
03:37Yes.
03:38See ya.
03:54Mom.
04:08It's all my fault.
04:10I sent him here.
04:11He didn't want to come.
04:12Ma, come on.
04:13He had to come.
04:14No.
04:15No, he didn't, and now look what's happened.
04:17He's run away, and God knows where he is.
04:19Makes it hard to sleep at night knowing lunatics just come and go as they please.
04:25Ma, I got your message.
04:26What happened?
04:27Bert's missing.
04:28They checked all the rooms at bedtime, and he wasn't there.
04:30He never was, if you know what I mean.
04:37How long has he been gone?
04:39Hours.
04:40It's all my fault.
04:41I feel so awful.
04:42My God, what if he never comes home?
04:44Drinks are on me.
04:45Thank you.
04:48Thank you.
04:49Stop it.
04:50Stop it.
04:51It's going to break it.
04:54Stop it.
04:55Break it.
05:01Boys, boys, boys.
05:03Lights were out over an hour ago.
05:05Back to your rooms.
05:07We're just visiting.
05:08You're visiting.
05:09Two men attack a wooden doll while the third screams?
05:12Nice try.
05:13See, you don't understand.
05:14Bob here was saying some really nasty things.
05:17Oh, yeah?
05:18Yeah.
05:19Danny, Danny, not here.
05:21Oh, I see.
05:23The doll said something nasty, so you wanted to kill it.
05:31They're visitors, Doctor.
05:32Who are you?
05:33Their mother.
05:34I'm sorry.
05:37We have visitors' passes.
05:39Visiting hours are over.
05:40You'll have to leave.
05:41You see, we're waiting for my husband.
05:43He ran away.
05:44I don't blame him.
05:47Keep the noise down and try and set an example for the patients.
05:56I'm sorry.
05:57That's okay, Dan.
06:11Thank you.
06:19Hey, Mayor.
06:20How you doing?
06:25Where were you?
06:26We were so worried.
06:27I didn't do anything.
06:28Yeah, are you all right?
06:29Yeah, I'm fine.
06:30I'm okay.
06:31You boys wait downstairs for me.
06:34And no more fighting.
06:39Are you all right?
06:41I ran away.
06:43Bert, is it so awful here?
06:45Do you hate it that much?
06:46No, no, no, no, Mayor.
06:48It's not awful at all.
06:49It's very nice here, and I'm getting better.
06:51I really am.
06:52I'm getting better.
06:53Then what is it?
06:55You see, Mayor, we talk a lot here.
06:57And we tell our secrets.
07:00And at first I thought, hey, forget about it.
07:03Nobody's going to hear my secrets because I've got some very weird secrets.
07:07That wasn't until I heard it.
07:10I heard their secrets.
07:12Worse.
07:13It's most of the same.
07:15See, we all have the same secrets.
07:19I mean, they come out a little different.
07:21And I don't know, maybe there are one or two here who frankly are a little more creative in the way they look at the world.
07:28Like Chicken Man, for instance.
07:29But essentially...
07:32Chicken Man?
07:34Yeah, when things get rough, he becomes a chicken.
07:41When things get too rough with me, I then disappear.
07:45You know, Harold wears hats.
07:46Some people drink, a lot of others sleep.
07:50See, we all have our own ways of stepping back when things get too rough.
07:55And that way, Mayor, we're all the same.
07:59I eat.
08:02See, but then I realized that I had one secret that nobody else had.
08:05And unless I told them the secret, I couldn't really get better.
08:08And unless I told you the secret, I couldn't come home.
08:11See, because Mary, I can't live with you and love you and keep the secret from you.
08:17So tell me, darling. Tell me the secret.
08:19I can't, Mary. That's why I ran away.
08:21Because I realized I can't tell you the secret, so I can't go home.
08:25And I thought, I can't tell a secret here, so I can't stay here, so I ran away.
08:30And I roamed around the city all night in the subway.
08:35On the subway, I could have told my secret. Nobody would have cared.
08:39But you came back here.
08:41Mary, I can't live on the subway.
08:43Oh.
08:44So I figure I can tell a secret here.
08:47Except, of course, I don't want to live here.
08:49Mary, I got no place to go.
08:51So, darling, tell me the secret and come home.
08:54I can't. I gotta go. I don't know where I'm going, but I gotta go.
08:57Bert, I love you.
08:59You are the most important thing in my life to me.
09:03So there is nothing, absolutely nothing, that you could tell me
09:07that would change the way I feel.
09:14Go on.
09:18I can't.
09:21I love you.
09:26I can't.
09:29Sweetheart.
09:30This doesn't have to be so difficult.
09:32No matter what you say, no matter what you have done, I will love you.
09:36That's what you think.
09:39Go on now.
09:45I killed your first husband.
10:01I killed your first husband.
10:08Oh, my God.
10:11Please.
10:24Are you all right?
10:27Are you all right?
10:33Boy, oh, boy, I wish my cardiologist could have seen me.
10:39I didn't mean to rush you, but my daughter is coming home.
10:43You know, I didn't think I could. I didn't think I remembered.
10:47I didn't remember much.
10:51I hope you had a nice evening, Ingrid.
10:53I hope you had a nice evening, Ingrid.
10:55How can you even ask, Anthony,
10:59why you are probably the most intelligent, fascinating and gentle man
11:05I've met since Ingmar Bergman.
11:12Bye-bye, Tony.
11:23Was that the judge?
11:24What, dear?
11:26Judge Petrillo. That was Judge Petrillo.
11:34Looks like the judge, doesn't he?
11:37You're trying to fix a trial, aren't you?
11:39What are you talking about?
11:41You're dating him so that you can convince him to hang my mother.
11:44I'm your mother.
11:46You know what I mean.
11:47Well, it just so happens that I am enormously attracted to him.
11:52When I saw him up there in the court, I just couldn't take my eyes off him.
11:57Bull.
11:59What does it mean, this bull?
12:03It means you're lying.
12:05You're trying to fix the trial. How can you do that to her?
12:08Because I hate her.
12:11She's never done anything to you.
12:13She took you away from me.
12:15That wasn't her. That was my grandmother.
12:17And then I was sent off to Ecuador, of all places,
12:20when she knew, coming from Sweden, how the heat would affect me.
12:27You said you came here for me, and now you've got me.
12:30So why can't you leave them alone?
12:32Because it's not enough.
12:34I want to see them all suffer.
12:37Actually, I'd like to see them all drop dead.
12:41But I settle for suffering.
12:45I hate them.
12:47Well, I'm one of them.
12:49Oh, no, you're not.
12:52Yes, I am.
12:54And you hate them more than you love me.
12:57Think about it.
13:06Help me!
13:09Oh, dear.
13:13How are you, Ma?
13:14Good, good.
13:16Come on in.
13:18Oh, I cooked you everything that you love.
13:21Lasagna?
13:22Oh, lasagna's just the beginning.
13:26I need to talk to you, Ma.
13:27Yeah, sure.
13:28I got a problem.
13:29Oh, I love it.
13:31People come to priests with their problems, and look,
13:34a priest comes to his mother.
13:37Well, I thought they ought to let you know what was going on.
13:39Yes, sure.
13:41But, of course.
13:43Tell your mother.
13:45There's a girl.
13:46Where?
13:47No, Ma.
13:49There's a girl, and I keep thinking about her.
13:51Oof.
13:54I can't get her out of my mind.
13:56It's a test.
13:58He's giving you a test.
14:01Don't you know a test when you see one?
14:05No, Ma.
14:07It's not a test.
14:09I'm thinking about leaving the priesthood.
14:12You know, I finally saw that Star Wars film they were all raving about.
14:15I don't know.
14:16In my day, they had a leading man.
14:18It was Clark Gable.
14:20Today, they got a little machine that goes poop.
14:23Ma, Ma, did you hear what I said?
14:25I mean, frankly, I could have stayed home and looked at my upright vacuum cleaner.
14:29Did you hear me?
14:30I'm sorry.
14:31I'm getting a little old.
14:32I don't hear so good.
14:33I said I was thinking about leaving.
14:35I mean, not only is my hearing bad, but my heart is very weak.
14:39I'm in the slightest shock, and it could kill me.
14:43Otherwise, I'm fine.
14:46I said I was thinking about leaving.
14:48I heard what you said.
14:49You're thinking about leaving the priesthood.
14:51Yes.
14:53Okay.
14:54Fine.
14:56Ma.
14:59What else can I do?
15:02I think I'm in love.
15:04Fine.
15:05I'd like to cough and close, please.
15:09Please, Ma.
15:10I came to you because I need some help, some understanding.
15:14Sorry.
15:15All I can give you is lasagna.
15:19Sometimes priests are wrong about their calling.
15:22I didn't break my vows.
15:24My superiors understand, and God will forgive me.
15:29Fine.
15:31If he wants to forgive you, let him.
15:37I won't.
15:47Mrs. Tate, think, think.
15:49Who might the surprise witness be?
15:51Oh, Mr. Malou, if I thought of it, it would ruin Mr. Franklin's surprise.
15:57Benson, every morning it's the same thing.
16:00I ask for poached eggs, I get scrambled.
16:02I ask for shirred eggs, I get scrambled.
16:04I ask for sunny side up, I get scrambled.
16:06I never get what I want.
16:08Why don't you ask for scrambled?
16:11Benson, I will not eat these eggs.
16:14Benson, would you fix some eggs for Mr. Malou, please?
16:18Certainly.
16:19How do you like them?
16:20Poached.
16:24All right, Benson, I'll have scrambled.
16:27Mrs. Tate, think, who would say something bad about you?
16:31Bessie Stevens.
16:33You see, in the seventh grade, Bessie Stevens had braids down to her waist,
16:37and I cut them off to use them to be Pocahontas.
16:41No, no, Mrs. Tate, it is not Bessie Stevens.
16:44Then it's Robert Corwin.
16:46Robert Corwin.
16:48In the tenth grade, Robert Corwin...
16:50She thinks we're playing This Is Your Life.
16:53Mrs. Tate, who are your enemies now?
16:56Enemies?
16:57Enemies, sir?
16:59How about Hitler and Mussolini, for starters?
17:03Good morning, Daddy.
17:04Hiya.
17:05Eggs, Major?
17:07Yep.
17:08Benson, what about me?
17:11What about you?
17:12Do I have to make them myself?
17:21Mother, I'm not feeling too well.
17:22I've got a sore throat.
17:23Oh, dear.
17:24I'm afraid you'll have to cancel court this morning.
17:27I have to take Billy to the pediatrician.
17:29Mrs. Tate, you can't cancel court.
17:32Mom, I don't want to go to the doctor.
17:34You have to go to the doctor.
17:36You have a cold.
17:37You can't take him to the doctor.
17:38You have to go to court.
17:40I'll take him.
17:44Boy's sick.
17:46Give it to her.
17:51And now, Mrs. Tate, before you complete your testimony, tell me.
17:55Did you or did you not kill Peter Campbell?
17:58Do you know you have asked me that question six times?
18:01Yes.
18:03But this time I want the jury to hear.
18:05Did you or did you not kill Peter Campbell?
18:08Seven.
18:09He has asked me that question seven times.
18:12Do you wonder how this man ever got out of law school?
18:20No.
18:21No, what?
18:22No, I didn't kill Peter Campbell.
18:25Thank you, Mrs. Tate.
18:27And now, in your lifetime, have you ever killed anything?
18:30No, never.
18:32Unless you want to count the times that I accidentally stepped on ants.
18:36I object.
18:37Mr. Franklin, you cannot help stepping on them.
18:39They're so tiny.
18:42But I never put out ant poisoning.
18:44And I never deliberately tried to kill them.
18:47I'm sorry.
18:54So you mean to say that you've never killed anything, not even a bug?
18:57That's right.
18:59Ask Chester.
19:00His suits are full of holes because I will not use mothballs.
19:05Thank you, Mrs. Tate.
19:07Holes in his sweaters.
19:09Thank you.
19:10Holes in his socks.
19:11That's enough, Mrs. Tate.
19:13Holes in his shorts.
19:15But they're not walls.
19:16They're flies.
19:24No more questions.
19:26Flies in his shorts.
19:28Ever try to use a pair without one?
19:31Now, Mrs. Tate, did you or did you not kill Peter Campbell?
19:36Weren't you listening?
19:39What is the matter with you men?
19:41Objection, Your Honor.
19:42The counsel is badgering my client.
19:44In an obvious attempt to stall.
19:46Because he cannot produce the surprise witness he's promised for today.
19:49I can, too.
19:50Oh, yeah?
19:51Yeah.
19:52Mr. Franklin, how much longer do we have to wait?
19:54Just a few more minutes.
19:56I object, Your Honor.
19:57The court has indulged the counsel long enough.
19:59One wonders if he even has a surprise witness at all.
20:02Well, Mr. Franklin, the court will allow you a minute or two longer, but that's all.
20:06Thank you.
20:07Everybody relax.
20:10Have I got time to go to the bathroom?
20:12Don't take anything to read.
20:21You haven't changed your mind about this weekend, have you?
20:24Listen, Caroline.
20:25Oh, come on.
20:26Now, I got us a two-bedroom cottage we're going as friends, remember?
20:30Okay.
20:31Friends.
20:37You're going away with him for a weekend?
20:40That's right.
20:41But he's a homosexual.
20:42That's right.
20:43And he might come back a homosexual.
20:46But if he does, he is sure going to have something to compare it to.
20:54All right, Mr. Franklin, your time is up.
20:56Now, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to...
20:59Your Honor, I would like to call to the stand at this time Mrs. Sheila Fine.
21:06Who's that?
21:07Mrs. Fine.
21:08Pay attention.
21:12You're going away for the weekend to the beach with a girl?
21:16Wonderful.
21:17I hope she takes a book to read.
21:21Be seated.
21:22State your name and address, please.
21:24Sheila Fine, 1593 Rockridge Road.
21:28But call first.
21:32Mrs. Fine, did you know Peter Campbell, the deceased?
21:36Did I know him?
21:38Do you know what this jerk did to my life?
21:42He comes into my house where I'm sitting with my husband,
21:45and he says I have to testify since I was having an affair with Peter Campbell.
21:50My husband called his lawyer, grabbed his girlfriend, and flew to Acapulco.
21:54I hope a taco chip gets caught in his throat and he chokes to death.
21:59Yes, Mr. Franklin, I knew Peter Campbell.
22:02And how did you know him?
22:03Lying down.
22:04I see.
22:05And where was the last time you saw the defendant, Mrs. Tate?
22:08In Peter Campbell's bathroom the day he was murdered.
22:15And did you hear the defendant say anything?
22:18Your Honor, this line of questioning is an obvious delaying tactic.
22:21If it pleases the court, I will explain my line of questioning.
22:25Your Honor, up until now, there has been only one element missing from the state's case.
22:31We have shown the motive for the defendant.
22:33The murder weapons were found in the defendant's possession.
22:36And now we are about to hear testimony that once and for all
22:40will remove all doubt and clearly establish the guilt of the accused.
22:46Mrs. Fine, what did you hear Jessica Tate say to Peter Campbell on the very day of the murder?
22:53I heard her say to him,
22:57I'm so angry I could kill you.
23:03The prosecution rests.
23:18Did Walter really walk out on Eunice forever?
23:21Did he also leave her with the restaurant bill?
23:24Now that Mary has learned that Bert killed her first husband, Johnny,
23:28what does Mary think of her second husband, Bert?
23:31Now that Corinne has walked out on two mothers,
23:34does that make her ineligible for the Daughter of the Year Award?
23:37Has Mrs. Fine's testimony convinced the jury that Jessica is guilty?
23:42Is Jessica guilty?
23:44These questions and many others will be answered on next week's episode of Soap.
23:50In last week's episode of Soap,
23:52Jody surprised Carol by agreeing to spend the weekend with her.
23:56Corinne surprised Ingrid by walking out on her.
23:59Bert really surprised Mary by telling her he killed her first husband.
24:03And speaking of surprises,
24:05Mrs. Fine, the surprise witness, surprised everyone
24:09by testifying that she heard Jessica threatened to kill Peter Campbell.
24:14Surprised? You won't be after this week's episode of Soap.
24:23This is the story of two sisters, Jessica Tate and Mary Campbell.
24:30These are the Tates.
24:33And these are the Campbells.
24:37And this is Soap.
24:44Shut up!
24:47Get off!
25:07Damn it!
25:11What are you doing?
25:13I'm going to sleep in the bathtub.
25:15All right, all right. I won't do it anymore, I promise.
25:20I don't know what's with you, Carol.
25:22I mean, we agree we're coming up here as friends, huh?
25:24Then you tell me that you've rented a two-bedroom cottage.
25:27We get here one room, one bed.
25:29And knowing I'm gay, you're absolutely amazed when I don't turn out to be Bert Reynolds.
25:34I thought you'd be different here.
25:36Away from everything and the country, all this clean air.
25:39Clean hair? Carol, I'm a homosexual, not an asthmatic.
25:51Carol, are you crying?
25:53You hate me.
25:55I don't hate you.
25:56Yes, you do.
25:58Carol, I don't hate you. Please stop crying.
26:00I can't help it. I really want you and you hate me.
26:04Carol, I don't hate you. Stop crying.
26:08And now you're going to hate me even more because I can't stop crying.
26:15Carol, I don't hate you. I could never hate you.
26:19I meant well. I really meant well.
26:22Okay, come here. Come on. Carol, come here now.
26:25Come on, stop crying. Carol, come here.
26:27Just stop crying, okay? Come on. Now stop. All right?
26:30Okay. It's all right. It's all right.
26:39But, Ma, Dad was a gangster.
26:42Bert said he had a gun in his ribs and he was going to shoot him.
26:45Ma, he had no choice.
26:47He pushed him off that ledge in self-defense.
26:50For God's sake, Ma.
26:52It was my father that got killed and I forgive him.
26:55Danny, I just don't know.
26:57I mean, I loved your father.
26:59And now to find out that Bert killed him?
27:01It's not like he forgot our anniversary and I'm a little miffed.
27:05Well, he's going to be home soon. What are you going to do?
27:08I don't know.
27:10I mean, I've done a lot of thinking about it,
27:12but every time I sit down to think about it,
27:14I can't believe what it is I am actually sitting down to think about.
27:17My second husband killed my first husband.
27:20What is it with you? You got a thing for killers?
27:24Hey, were you eavesdropping?
27:26No. It was him.
27:28Yeah, it was me.
27:30Listen, uh, play your cards right,
27:32and I'll get you a date with Dirty Harry.
27:34Yeah!
27:36Shh!
27:42Shh!
27:47Hey, I think it's him.
27:52Hi. Hey. How you doing?
27:54Hey, Dad. Hey, Dad.
27:56How you doing?
27:58How you doing?
28:00How you doing, Chuck? Bob.
28:02Hi, you killer.
28:08Welcome home.
28:10So, uh, how's things?
28:25Hey, man.
28:28Hi.
28:31You're home.
28:34Yeah.
28:38Uh, Mayor, uh, should I, uh,
28:41should I put this down?
28:43Oh, yes. Of course. Yes.
28:49Uh, Mayor, uh, you, uh, probably, uh, haven't yet.
28:52I mean, I don't know, but, uh,
28:54did you make any kind of, um,
28:57decision about things?
28:59Decision?
29:01Oh, what decision?
29:03You mean about you...
29:05Whether you want to stay married to a killer.
29:08I don't...
29:09No.
29:11No, I haven't.
29:13Yeah, well, no. Yes, well, no.
29:15I didn't really expect that you would have yet.
29:17Uh, I mean, this is not a decision you can make lightly.
29:20But...
29:22what it is is I'm confused.
29:25I've loved you more than anything. You know that.
29:27But when you told me that you...
29:30killed Johnny...
29:32Uh, no. It's not kill. Not really kill.
29:34I didn't really kill him.
29:36It's true. He ended up dead. So it looks that way.
29:40I tried thinking about it, but, uh,
29:43I can't. It's too huge.
29:46I've tried figuring out how I feel,
29:48but I can't.
29:50I don't know.
29:52I mean, I have no frame of reference for this.
29:55I've read Dear Abby all my life,
29:57but never, ever once have I come across anything similar.
30:00Yeah, well, I... I just would. I wouldn't be surprised.
30:03And, uh, it's not like I can call a friend either, you know,
30:06and say, what did you do when your husband...
30:08No, yes, no, Mary. I...
30:10No, I know. I know what you mean. I...
30:12I know you. I know you're not really a killer.
30:15I'm not, Mary. I'm not a killer.
30:17I'll push her off the ledge, maybe, but a killer...
30:20I know that. I know that.
30:23But still, it's happened.
30:29And for now, it seems to have made some sort of difference.
30:35I love you.
30:38I've always loved you.
30:42And I don't know if it will always make a difference,
30:47but for now, it has.
30:52Oh, yeah, well, I see.
30:58Bert.
31:00Hey, Matt, Matt, wait, Matt, wait.
31:02Wait a minute, Matt.
31:04Now, see, it's OK. I understand.
31:07I'm fine, really. I'm terrific. I'm OK.
31:10I mean, I, uh... I don't want any pity.
31:13I'm a grown-up. I can take care of myself. I can function.
31:16And I'm fine. I'm really gonna be fine.
31:19And someday, if you want me back, you'll take me back because you love me,
31:22not because you pity me.
31:24So don't worry about it.
31:27I'll see you, kiddo.
31:31Maybe we could try.
31:38Us.
31:40We could try and see what happens.
31:44You mean together?
31:48Here.
31:50Yeah, OK.
31:53OK.
31:57I guess this means I should tell the cab to go.
32:02OK.
32:04OK.
32:07I should tell the cab.
32:24How come I'm humming and you're slamming things around?
32:29You don't know?
32:32Because of last night. Because of what I did last night.
32:36Well, I did it, too, but I'm not angry.
32:40But I'm gay.
32:42That's debatable.
32:46For 25 years, I'm gay. Suddenly, a girl comes on a little bit, I'm in bed with her.
32:50You're a floozy.
32:56It's not like I had much of a chance.
32:58I mean, you get us one room with a queen-size bed,
33:00and I sincerely hope no pun was intended.
33:06And then you cry.
33:08Listen, Jody.
33:10I didn't exactly have to get you drunk and tie you up.
33:12I'm sorry. It was so awful.
33:14Carol, it wasn't awful.
33:17It wasn't even unpleasant.
33:20Matter of fact, if I'd known it was like that in high school,
33:22I might have gone to the prom.
33:25I mean, what does this make me?
33:27Imagine how confused my hormones are.
33:31What the heck is he doing now that's a girl, for God's sakes?
33:55Carol, I'm sorry.
34:00What's got me upset about this whole thing is...
34:04what's going to happen to us?
34:07What do you mean, what's going to happen to us?
34:11How are you going to feel if I don't sleep with you again?
34:16You're not going to sleep with me again?
34:19No.
34:24Why?
34:31Carol, all my life I've lived a certain way.
34:35And I don't want to change.
34:39But I love you, and I want you to be my friend.
34:42And what I'm afraid of is that if I don't sleep with you again,
34:44you won't be my friend anymore.
34:48Jody.
34:51I love you.
34:54I'll always be your friend.
34:58You think I just want you for your body?
35:02Oh, my God, do you know how many guys have said that to me?
35:14You're terrific.
35:17So are you.
35:20You're terrific.
35:34Oh, Benson, I need strong coffee.
35:36I was so worried about the trial, I didn't sleep a wink last night.
35:39Me neither.
35:41You were up worrying too? Yeah.
35:43Oh, I wish I'd known. Yeah?
35:45Sure. I would have had someone to talk to.
35:48I wish I'd have known too.
35:50Because that would have put me to sleep.
35:57Yeah, I hate not sleeping.
36:00It panics me.
36:03I keep looking at the clock thinking that even if I fall asleep right now,
36:07it still won't be enough.
36:09I tried that exercise where you relax your whole body starting with your toes.
36:13Worked out great.
36:15My feet fell asleep and my head stayed up.
36:19Oh, God, I'm exhausted.
36:21I was up all night worried sick about Mother.
36:24You too? Were you up?
36:26Hey, Benson.
36:27Why didn't you call? I nearly went crazy.
36:29I tossed and turned so much I ripped the sheets.
36:31Wonderful. Dead tired, I gotta change sheets.
36:36What a night. What a night.
36:39Not one wink of sleep.
36:42Were you up worrying too, Grandpa?
36:44Of course I worried.
36:46Did you hear how close that mortifier was?
36:52Good morning, everyone.
36:55Good morning, darling.
36:56Darling, you look tired. Didn't you sleep well?
37:00I didn't sleep.
37:01You didn't?
37:02You did.
37:03Like a hog.
37:06Jessica, you mean like a log.
37:08Oh, Chester, logs don't sleep.
37:12Good morning, Benson.
37:13Good morning, Mrs. Tate.
37:15Jessica, how could you sleep? Weren't you worried?
37:17About what?
37:18The jury goes out today.
37:20Out where?
37:24To decide on a verdict, Jessica.
37:26Oh, that.
37:27Oh, don't be silly, Chester. There's nothing to worry about.
37:30Hey, when did Corinne get back?
37:32What?
37:33Corinne, Corinne, she's back.
37:34Where?
37:35Upstairs. I went into her room and there she was asleep.
37:37Oh.
37:46Oh.
38:00I never thought I'd ever see your head on that pillow again.
38:11Ma?
38:16I'm sorry, Mom. I'm really, really sorry.
38:19Oh, there's nothing to be sorry about.
38:22Oh, yes, there is.
38:24All my life you've been wonderful to me, and what do I do?
38:27I spit in your face.
38:37I don't remember that.
38:40No, Mom, I mean I did a terrible thing to you.
38:44No, you didn't.
38:46You didn't do anything anybody else wouldn't have done.
38:51I had to find out.
38:53When I heard that she was my real mother, I had to go to her.
38:59I had to be with her because she was my mother and I thought that was important.
39:05But I found out something.
39:08What?
39:10I found out that your mother isn't the woman who gave you her jeans,
39:15but the woman who gave you her love.
39:18I had to go live with her just to find out that I belong right here with you.
39:26Welcome home, Corinne.
39:29I love you, Ma.
39:31Oh.
39:39Benson!
39:43Can you stop that infernal game? It's driving me crazy.
39:48Stop that.
39:50Corinne will be right down. She's just getting dressed.
39:52Oh, good. It's a good omen.
39:55Corinne's coming home is a good omen.
39:57God knows we can use a few of those around here.
40:09Yeah, I know.
40:16Where is she?
40:18Listen, Sven, we got enough trouble here.
40:20Where is Corinne? I've come to take her home.
40:24Sorry, but she is already home.
40:27Ha!
40:29Let's go.
40:30Get your hands off me, you yerk.
40:34I'm not leaving till Corinne is with me.
40:38I think that we will leave that decision up to Corinne.
40:41Is that Ingrid Bergman?
40:46Corinne, it was a silly fight.
40:50I've come to take you home.
40:53I'm not going.
40:55Oh, come on, Corinne. Let bygones be bygones.
41:00I want to stay here.
41:02I know you're my real mother, and I'm sorry if I've hurt you,
41:06but this is my home.
41:11I think you should leave now.
41:14Well, you haven't seen the last of me.
41:18Just wait, all of you.
41:21You think I'm Finnish?
41:23No, Swedish.
41:26I'm not done with you.
41:29I have plans, plans you can't even begin to imagine,
41:33and horrors in store you would never dream of.
41:37Just wait. Just you wait, you yerks.
41:41Ha!
41:44If this family doesn't have trouble enough,
41:46we have a curse put on us by the gods.
41:49I'm not going.
41:51If this family doesn't have trouble enough,
41:54we have a curse put on us by a Swedish witch.
41:57What else could go wrong?
41:59She's back.
42:00I'm not getting it.
42:07Chester Tate?
42:08You know I'm Chester Tate, you idiot. What is it?
42:11I have here a federal warrant for your arrest.
42:14It's brought by the Securities Exchange Commission
42:16on stock fraud and manipulation.
42:18I know it comes at a bad time,
42:20but I've managed to pull a few strings
42:22so that you could make bail
42:24and be at your wife's murder trial
42:26before the jury goes home.
42:29Oh.
42:32Bet you kids are gonna be lonely around here
42:34the come the holidays.
42:37Well, have a nice day.
42:45And so, ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
42:48on examination of the evidence
42:50that the prosecution has presented,
42:52one could consider it substantial.
42:54But after knowing the defendant,
42:56the evidence appears flimsy and inconsequential.
43:04For we have before us, ladies and gentlemen,
43:06one of the most enchanting,
43:08open, honest, and good-hearted souls on this earth.
43:11Oh, where?
43:14And humble, ladies and gentlemen.
43:16Humble and good and kind and generous and loving.
43:20A person who I'm truly proud to say
43:22I'm a better man for having met.
43:25Ladies and gentlemen, I speak of Jessica Tate.
43:28Oh, Mr. Malou.
43:32Don't listen to him.
43:37Jessica Tate, ladies and gentlemen,
43:40is incapable.
43:42Incapable of hurting anyone,
43:44let alone taking a life.
43:46Well, now, Mr. Malou, I wouldn't say that.
43:48Once when I was six, I shoved my sister Mary
43:50out of the tree to see if she could fly.
43:52She couldn't.
43:56In point of fact, it was nearly eight weeks
43:58before she could walk again.
44:01See, her honesty I don't have to mention.
44:04You've heard it for yourself.
44:06I have nothing further to say.
44:08The best proof is right here before you.
44:11Thank you.
44:15Your Honor.
44:17Judge.
44:19Oh.
44:21Yes.
44:22Well, thank you very much for your summation, Mr. Malou.
44:26It was very nice.
44:27Long, but nice.
44:30My instructions to the jury are going to be brief.
44:34Since this is a capital crime,
44:36let me remind you that if the verdict is guilty,
44:39there should be no reasonable doubt.
44:42You will be sequestered in your hotel
44:44until you reach a verdict.
44:46Now, please remember,
44:47you're to discuss this case only amongst yourselves.
44:51And please, don't take the hotel towels.
44:57Try not to be prejudiced by some of this bizarre behavior
45:00you have heard here.
45:02The defendant is on trial, not her family.
45:13You will never take her.
45:16You'll never take my daughter.
45:20Don't let anybody move.
45:22We're going to join the resistance.
45:25We're going to the mountains.
45:27Oh, Daddy, at this time of year?
45:29I'll take care of it, Your Honor.
45:32Major.
45:33Put the gun down.
45:34Quiet, Colonel.
45:36Quiet, Colonel.
45:38Quiet, Colonel.
45:40Quiet, Colonel.
45:43All right, now, everybody stand back.
45:50Daddy.
45:52It's me, Mary.
45:53Please don't do this.
45:55Sit down.
45:56Everybody.
45:58You two.
46:03Now you.
46:05Beagle face.
46:10I'm taking you hostage.
46:16Me?
46:18Come on, come on.
46:20Get over there.
46:21I'm taking you to the hills.
46:23I'll teach you to insult this family, Mr. Nasty.
46:27I love this family.
46:29This is just a game we play.
46:31It's who can be the nastiest.
46:33Shut up, Beagle face.
46:34Major.
46:36Halt.
46:37Give me the gun.
46:38Stand back.
46:39Come on, Major.
46:40Give me the gun.
46:41Give me the gun.
46:42He doesn't use bullets.
46:45If you're gonna do this sort of thing, plan it right.
46:50Arrest that man.
46:52Oh, Your Honor, what for?
46:54I mean, a little contempt of court, maybe.
46:58But he didn't do anything wrong.
47:00And he's harmless.
47:01Harmless?
47:02He's under a doctor's care, Your Honor.
47:04And besides, he got this way in the service of his country.
47:07There would be no way to treat a war hero.
47:09All right, all right.
47:10Take him home.
47:11Thank you.
47:12Not you, not you, Mrs. Tate.
47:14Sit down.
47:16I have had it with you.
47:22Could you possibly make up your mind in a hurry?
47:25I mean, I cannot stand another day with this man.
47:37Now that Jody and Carol have been more than just friends,
47:40will she settle for less?
47:42If Bert sends Mary a dozen red roses,
47:45will she forgive him for killing her first husband?
47:48Or has she really ticked off this time?
47:51Will the jury come back with a verdict of innocent?
47:54Will the jury come back with a verdict of guilty?
47:57Will the jury come back?
48:00These questions and many others will be answered
48:02on next week's episode of...