SOAP 1980 Season 1 episodes 25
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PeopleTranscript
00:00In last week's episode of Soap, Mary decided to try to work things out with Bert even though
00:07he killed her first husband.
00:09Corinne decided to leave her mother Ingrid and return to her other mother, Jessica.
00:14Jody slept with Carol even though he had decided not to, leaving him somewhat undecided about
00:20their relationship.
00:21And the jury went out to decide Jessica's fate.
00:25Don't be confused, you won't be after this week's episode of Soap.
00:35This is the story of two sisters, Jessica Tate and Mary Campbell.
00:42These are the Tates.
00:45And these are the Campbells.
00:49And this is Soap.
01:16Oh Bert, I thought you were going to set up the bar.
01:18What are you doing?
01:19Sitting.
01:20I can see that, Bert.
01:21Mary, I'm so depressed.
01:22I mean, I've ruined Danny's life.
01:25Danny, you're not even dressed yet.
01:27I'm too depressed to get dressed.
01:29It was all I could do to get out of bed.
01:31My life is over.
01:33It is not.
01:34It is.
01:35It is.
01:36I have to spend my life married to Elaine.
01:39When they get here, I'm going to tell Lefkowitz to shoot me.
01:42That does it.
01:43Come on, get dressed.
01:44They'll be here any minute.
01:49It's all my fault.
01:50Everything, it's all my fault.
01:52I mean, I pushed some guy off a ledge and ruined everybody's life.
01:55His, naturally.
01:58Danny, because Danny had to kill the man who killed his father, who's me.
02:02And because he couldn't kill me, he has to get married to that terrible girl he doesn't love,
02:05or else they're going to kill him.
02:07And you, your husband gets killed, and you find out later on you're married to his killer.
02:12Sure, if the guy killed me, everybody would have been better off.
02:15Except me, of course, because I'd be dead.
02:18And me, because I love you.
02:21You do?
02:22I do.
02:24But Mary, I...
02:26Shh.
02:27Leave it alone, huh?
02:29Set up a bar.
02:37Campbell.
02:38Campbell, Campbell.
02:39Campbell, Campbell.
02:40Yes, my cousin.
02:41That's his name.
02:42Yes, Campbell, Campbell.
02:43They made a mistake on his birth certificate.
02:45They wrote Campbell twice, and his parents thought it was illegal to change a birth certificate,
02:48so they had to call him Campbell, Campbell.
02:51Roots, I'm having a killer of cocktails, and you're doing Roots.
02:55I've taken him before.
02:56Mary, he'll help.
02:57He lives in Australia.
02:59He's loaded.
03:00Later.
03:01We'll talk about Australia later.
03:02Danny, Danny.
03:05Danny.
03:06What?
03:07I got it.
03:08What?
03:09You're going to Australia, to my cousin.
03:11You'll be safe there.
03:12You'll be back in the bush country.
03:13Nobody can find this place.
03:15Australia?
03:16Either that, or you marry Elaine.
03:18When do I leave?
03:19First thing in the morning.
03:20All right.
03:21We're all set.
03:22Good STEM.
03:23STEM.
03:24Okay, everybody normal.
03:26Act natural.
03:27Be happy.
03:28Smile.
03:33I think we should open the door.
03:37We're here.
03:39Hi, Mom.
03:42Hello.
03:44Come on.
03:45Please, please.
03:46Give us a break.
03:47Daddy, this is Bert and Mary Campbell.
03:50This is my father, Charles Lefkowitz.
03:53I can see you.
03:55Beg your pardon?
03:57Well, aren't you the man that clicks his tongue and makes himself invisible?
04:05It's snapping your fingers.
04:07You think you're not here now?
04:09Oh, I'm here.
04:10I'm good.
04:11Oh, wonderful.
04:12People drop like flies from heart attacks,
04:14but they've licked invisibility.
04:16Hey, what does it have to do with tongues?
04:19Why don't we all sit down and have a drink?
04:21Yeah, well, you have a little Manischewitz.
04:25Whatever.
04:26Danny, sit.
04:28You, sit.
04:29Please.
04:30I want to make this brief.
04:31Now we're going to have a very gorgeous wedding.
04:35And I'm singing about renting Montevanni and his orchestra.
04:39Now, the wedding is in three weeks.
04:41So if you let me know in the next few days how many people you'll be having,
04:46it would be up.
04:47All right.
04:48Don't forget Campbell.
04:49Campbell.
04:50Hey, look.
04:51This is right enough to tick.
04:55What's that?
04:56That's my son, Chuck and Bob.
04:58How do you do?
04:59Oh, yeah.
05:00I love it.
05:01He lives with a doll.
05:02And you're the one they put away.
05:05Drill three holes in it and I could dole a toothy game.
05:10Okay, boy chick, I've had it.
05:12Shut up, or I sandpaper your face.
05:15Yes, sir.
05:16Get me out of here.
05:19Hi.
05:20Hey, Jody.
05:21Mr. Lefkowitz.
05:22This is my brother, Jody.
05:24Oh, the faggot, huh?
05:28Sit.
05:29We're about to discuss the floral arrangements.
05:31You'll be good at this.
05:35Sorry, I can't.
05:36I have a date.
05:37Carol?
05:38Well, you're not a faggot, are you?
05:40I am.
05:41You're both?
05:42What do they call them?
05:43Hasty, doosy?
05:46I think that's worse.
05:48Well, I gotta go.
05:49Have a nice night.
05:52Nice seeing you again.
05:53Okay.
06:04Okay.
06:05I want a few words with Danny alone.
06:12Come, Bert.
06:13We'll show Elaine the yard.
06:16Yard?
06:17I want to see a yard.
06:18Shut up.
06:19You go look at a yard.
06:24Danny, I know what you're thinking.
06:28No, no, you don't know.
06:30Please, I do know.
06:32You don't know how you're going to marry such a rotten, disgusting pig like Elaine.
06:38You know.
06:40Hey, I was married to her mother.
06:44And you're also probably thinking of running away.
06:47Oh, Mr. Lefkowitz, please.
06:50Well, good.
06:51Because if you did run away and I couldn't find you to kill you, I'd kill your family.
06:59Bring Elaine home early.
07:01See you at the wedding.
07:06Danny, come on, get packed.
07:07I'll call Qantas.
07:08Bert.
07:09Bert, I can't go.
07:11What?
07:12Lefkowitz just told me if I run away, he'll kill all of you.
07:17What am I going to do?
07:22I don't know.
07:30Leave it to me to fall in love with a priest.
07:33And now I just know he's coming over here to tell me he's not going to see me again.
07:37Well, at least if you've lost him, you've lost him to God.
07:40I lost Walter to Marilyn.
07:44Great, Fodor Flotsky's here.
07:46Tell him to come up.
07:47Here?
07:48Yeah.
07:49This is a bedroom.
07:51So?
07:52So?
07:53So your pantyhose are on the floor.
07:56Bring him up.
07:57Well, okay.
08:00Good luck, sweetie.
08:01Oh, don't leave.
08:02Are you sure?
08:03Yeah.
08:04If you're here, he won't say anything bad.
08:08If you're here, he won't say anything.
08:10You better go.
08:11No, stay.
08:12I can't hear it alone.
08:13Okay.
08:15And don't laugh.
08:22Hi, Corinne.
08:27Hi, Eunice.
08:28Hi, Tim.
08:33How are you?
08:37Her boyfriend left her.
08:41Eunice.
08:45I can't stand it.
08:47You're not going to see me anymore, are you?
08:49What are you talking about?
08:50Of course I'm going to see you again.
08:52You are?
08:53Sure.
08:55Oh, Tim.
08:58Hey, a priest's allowed to do that.
09:00Come on.
09:04Corinne, I've made a decision.
09:07I've decided to leave the priesthood.
09:10You have?
09:11Yes.
09:12And I want to be with you.
09:16Oh.
09:17Oh.
09:21What's wrong?
09:22I thought that would please you.
09:25I'm scared.
09:28What if this doesn't work out?
09:30Corinne, I just didn't have the calling.
09:32My superiors agreed.
09:33My mother didn't, but they do.
09:37I'm not leaving the priesthood because of you.
09:39I'm leaving because of me.
09:42Oh.
09:43Oh, Tim.
09:45I love you.
09:47I love you.
09:49And I want you.
09:50You got me, Corinne.
09:51You know what I mean.
09:54No, Corinne.
09:55After we're married.
09:57You're asking me to marry you?
10:00No.
10:01I've gone to my superiors and asked to be released from my vows
10:04because I want to go steady.
10:09You want to marry me?
10:11Yeah.
10:12I want you to think about it.
10:14And we have to wait until we're married to...
10:16Oh, Corinne.
10:17Please.
10:19Give me a break.
10:20This is not nothing I'm doing.
10:22All right.
10:23All right.
10:24We'll wait.
10:25No lovemaking until we're married.
10:27Good.
10:29So what about petting?
10:30Oh, Corinne.
10:32Necking?
10:33Come on, Corinne.
10:34Okay.
10:35Can I hold your hand?
10:41Jody, why can't we live together?
10:43Carol, I'm gay.
10:45Listen, the other night was nice.
10:46It really was, and I've told you that.
10:48But I'm still gay.
10:50Hey, listen.
10:51Occasionally I'll have a burrito.
10:52I'm not Mexican.
10:54Okay.
10:55Okay.
10:56So you're gay.
10:57We can still live together.
10:58Carol, come on.
10:59And how can you be so sure you're still gay?
11:01I didn't hear you screaming rape the other night.
11:04Look, I know, okay?
11:06We walked in here tonight.
11:07I did not look at the hatchet girl.
11:09I looked at the maitre d'.
11:12Well, we can still live together as friends.
11:13We'll have an arrangement.
11:14Carol, no.
11:16Why not?
11:18Because I don't trust you.
11:22Come on.
11:23Carol, you said we'd just go away as friends.
11:25Remember?
11:27Then you said, oh, we'll just go to sleep.
11:28Remember?
11:30Next morning I woke up.
11:31I felt like Scarlett O'Hara if the Red Butler carried her upstairs.
11:36That will never happen again.
11:38We'll get a big place.
11:39We'll both have our own rooms.
11:41You have expectations.
11:43I do not.
11:45Oh, yes, you do.
11:46No, Jody, really.
11:48I just want to be with you.
11:51I love you.
11:53And you said you loved me.
11:54I do, but as a friend.
11:57Well, then we should be together as friends.
12:00Hey, you can always lock your door.
12:04Get a German shepherd to stand guard.
12:07Okay, now.
12:09Okay?
12:10Yeah.
12:11You can?
12:12Really?
12:13Yeah, but I get to name the dog.
12:16Excuse me.
12:17Jody?
12:23Dennis.
12:25I hope I'm not interrupting anything.
12:27No.
12:28Uh, no, not at all.
12:31Carol, this is Dennis Phillips.
12:32Uh...
12:33Carol, this is Dennis Phillips.
12:34Uh...
12:35Remember I told you...
12:36I know, I know.
12:38Dennis, this is Carol David.
12:40Hi.
12:41Hi.
12:43Listen, uh, you mind if I join you for a drink?
12:45No, uh, have a seat.
12:53So...
12:55How's your wife?
12:57It didn't work out.
12:59She left me.
13:00Oh, what happened?
13:02The quarterback couldn't complete the pass?
13:06Excuse me.
13:07Um...
13:08I have to go to the powder room.
13:10I'll be back.
13:22So you separated.
13:25What happened?
13:27It was a disaster.
13:28Why didn't you call?
13:31I figured you'd be furious.
13:33You were just afraid I'd say I told you so.
13:36You wouldn't have said that.
13:37Oh, yes, I would.
13:40Listen, Jody.
13:42I made a terrible mistake.
13:44And I'm sorry.
13:46You can laugh at me and tell me to get lost,
13:48but I've got to say it.
13:50I love you, and I want you back.
13:52Oh!
13:54Oh!
13:55Oh!
13:56Oh!
13:57Oh!
14:01Well, I'm back.
14:09Powder room's free.
14:28What are you doing?
14:32I'm cooking breakfast.
14:36Oh!
14:37No, no, now, Benson.
14:38I want to cook breakfast,
14:40and I want you to eat with us and not serve.
14:43What are you talking about?
14:45We're all going to have breakfast together this morning,
14:47like one big happy family.
14:49Is Mr. Tate going to be there?
14:51Yes.
14:52I don't want to eat with him.
14:54Now, Benson,
14:55they said that the jury might come in this morning,
14:57and, well, of course,
14:59I know I'm not going to be found guilty
15:01because I'm innocent.
15:03But just in case,
15:05I want to cook one more meal.
15:07I want to cook it,
15:09and I want you to eat with us.
15:11Please?
15:16Well, just as once.
15:18Morning, Mom.
15:20Morning, darling.
15:21Benson.
15:22Hi, Lily.
15:23I'm fixing one of your favorite breakfasts this morning.
15:25What's that, waffles?
15:27It's not one of my favorites.
15:29I could have sworn it was.
15:32What is that you're eating, Billy?
15:34Frozen Snickers.
15:36That's one of my favorites.
15:39Put that thing away.
15:41You go upstairs and get dressed, hmm?
15:43Breakfast will be ready when you're finished.
15:45Okay, Mom.
15:47Benson?
15:49Mm-hmm?
15:51If something should...
15:53Don't worry.
15:55I'll take care of them just fine.
15:58Besides, what's going to happen to you?
16:02Morning, Daddy.
16:04I've got it.
16:06I've got a plan that will work
16:08and free you this time.
16:10The trouble before was
16:12I didn't have air supply.
16:13Come on, Major.
16:15Let's get you out of them fatigues.
16:17Get you into some parade dress.
16:19Oh, I love a parade.
16:22Morning, darling.
16:23How's your cold?
16:24Better.
16:25Did you sleep well?
16:26Fine.
16:27You?
16:28Fine.
16:29I'm making waffles.
16:30I see.
16:31I love waffles.
16:33So do I.
16:35I knew somebody in this house liked waffles.
16:39I'm sorry.
16:40I knew somebody in this house liked waffles.
16:44Waffles, I even love the name.
16:46When I was little,
16:48I used to love to put things
16:50inside of each little waffle compartment.
16:53You know, like a button in one
16:55and a piece of jewelry in another.
16:59When I was little,
17:01I used to drive my mother crazy.
17:05Oh, Chester,
17:07I'm so scared.
17:11It just all suddenly hit me.
17:14It suddenly hit me what could happen.
17:17I'm so scared.
17:24Nothing's going to happen, Jess.
17:27I promise.
17:28I won't let it.
17:31I love you far too much
17:32to let anything happen to you.
17:37Oh, Chester.
17:40I love you.
17:53I cannot stand this waiting.
17:55Why, Mr. Malou,
17:57you've been through this so many times,
17:59I should think you'd be used to it by now.
18:01This is different.
18:02How so?
18:04Because this time,
18:05I'm in love with the defendant.
18:06Ah.
18:10Mr. Malou,
18:12I am the defendant.
18:15At first, I thought you were a lunatic.
18:18Then as I got to know you,
18:20I thought you were the most outrageous,
18:22impossible woman I'd ever met.
18:24And now I find you the most
18:26original and delightful.
18:28I can see right through you.
18:30You're just saying that
18:31to divert my attention
18:32so I won't worry about the verdict.
18:34I bet you say that to all your clients.
18:36I don't.
18:37Well, of course you don't say it
18:38to your male clients.
18:40Although it would certainly
18:41divert their attention.
18:45If they find you guilty
18:46and put you away,
18:47I don't know what I'll do.
18:49And if they find you innocent,
18:50you won't need me anymore.
18:52Jessica,
18:53I'm in love with you.
18:55I... Chester.
18:57One, two, three, four.
18:59One, two, three, four.
19:01Chester, we're learning the hustle.
19:03That's it, that's it.
19:04Loosen up.
19:05Come on, Chester.
19:07Come on, don't be a stick in the hay.
19:08Watch Mr. Malou.
19:09Come on.
19:10We're dancing our troubles away.
19:12One, two, three, four.
19:14The hustle.
19:15One, two, three, four.
19:16The hustle.
19:17Got it?
19:29Miss Knight,
19:31if you and the pips are ready,
19:32the jury's coming in.
19:35The hustle.
19:36Ah!
19:40Oh, Jess.
19:42Mary.
19:44Oh.
19:45Jesse.
19:49Well, what's the matter, Mary?
19:51Mary?
19:53I think she's trying not to cry.
19:55Why?
19:56Because her mascara will run
19:57and she'll look like a raccoon.
20:01Why is she trying not to cry?
20:03I don't know.
20:05I don't know.
20:06I don't know.
20:07I don't know.
20:08Why is she trying not to cry?
20:10Mary, you keep that up.
20:11You're going to get the hiccups.
20:13You see, she gulps a lot of air.
20:14Last time she hiccuped for eight hours.
20:17Mary, why are you crying
20:18or not crying?
20:20She's worried about the verdict,
20:21Aunt Jessica.
20:24Is that it, Mary?
20:25Is that it?
20:26Oh, silly Mary.
20:28Silly, silly Mary.
20:31Come on now.
20:32Sit down.
20:33Everybody sit down.
20:34Mary, listen.
20:36You listen to me.
20:37I made an appointment
20:38to have my teeth cleaned tomorrow.
20:41Now, do you think
20:42that I would actually do that
20:44if I were going to be found guilty?
20:46No.
20:48No.
20:49So you cheer up, huh?
20:51Oh.
20:52Everything's going to be fine.
21:06Jessica.
21:27Oh, Bert.
21:28What?
21:30They're not smiling.
21:32Who?
21:33The jury.
21:35Oh, Mary.
21:36Juries never smile.
21:37Juries and gamblers,
21:38they got to keep straight faces.
21:40No, really, they test
21:41before they allow them to serve.
21:42They pickle them.
21:43If they laugh, they're right.
21:46What do you think, Daddy?
21:49I think if this isn't over soon,
21:50I'm going to throw up.
21:55The court is now in session.
21:56Judge Anthony Petrillo presiding.
21:58Everybody, please rise.
22:00All right, be seated.
22:04Will the defendant please rise
22:06and face the jury.
22:10Has the jury reached a verdict?
22:12Yes, Your Honor, it has.
22:14Tinkler.
22:30Will the foreman
22:31please read the verdict.
22:33Your Honor,
22:34the jury finds the defendant,
22:35Jessica Tate,
22:37guilty as charged
22:38of murder on the first day.
22:41No, I'm innocent.
22:50I'm innocent.
22:56Jessica Tate,
22:57you've been found guilty
22:58by a jury of your peers.
23:01You'll be remanded in custody
23:03until I pronounce sentence upon you.
23:17I'm innocent.
23:21Jessica Tate
23:22did not kill Peter Campbell.
23:25One of these people
23:26did.
23:36I'm innocent.
23:42Who killed Peter Campbell?