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Stef the following question is a follow up question to a previous question I asked involving the elephant man. Now the question I am going to ask you Stef is an entirely seperate question but is in spirit a follow up as it deals with the central issue of principles I had raised previously in the elephant man questions. The reason I ask this new question is because the following very real scenario I will be referring to involves yourself Stef in a very recent interaction here on Freedomain Locals. On a very recent call in with a German guy you asked the German guy what’s the issue in regards to following principles. He said ‘It’s hard’. I was very interested in hearing what he was referring to when he said ‘it’s hard’. I think I know what he was referring to, I think he was referring to the fact that if you follow principles it will likely lead you nowhere in the modern world of women and relationships. Not to say I have a problem with the principles you advocate for Stef, but does following principles really lead to results in the modern world of dating & relationships? Let me give you evidence to back up my claim, evidence that you Stef I know are all too familiar with. Women as you are aware Stef are drawn to bad guys, jerks, even in some cases criminals. I don’t have to remind you Stef the most popular book of all time with women is ‘50 Shades of Grey’. A book about a brutal arrogant jerk who blindfolds women and smacks them on the ass with a belt and wooden spoon. Additionally there is an old saying Stef women love drama and ‘you can make a woman feel anything, just don’t make her feel nothing’. Now I get & fully understand the point of following principles that you advocate for Stef but in the face of all the evidence that suggests the average women isn’t really looking for a guy with virtue who follows principles I do think you have to deal with those very real facts. I’m not saying following principles is guaranteed to lead to failure, it’s possible this caller might find the unicorn who is not driven by drama and Mr. Grey bad boy energy, but on the balance of probabilities if he follows principles will he find this super rare woman? I don’t think those odds are good, again in the face of all the competing evidence I have just stated Stef I think that is a very reasonable assertion to make. What I am referring to is practicality Stef. Is it practical for this German caller to follow principles when a lot of the evidence suggests women aren’t searching fo

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Transcript
00:00Good morning, everybody. Questions from freedom.locals.com. Hope you're doing well.
00:07Join the community. It's great. All right. If you're not restricted by an NDA or similar,
00:12have any DROs reached out to offer you a position on their board of directors or advisors,
00:16or have you considered the endeavor yourself, maybe even as a philosophical judge duty show?
00:21That's interesting. So I tend to try to avoid shows that have high production values. I mean,
00:29I did spend quite a bit on the documentaries, and I think that was great. But no, I have not
00:35had people reach out to me to run their DROs. I think a philosophical show would be fun.
00:43But, you know, just if you want to get a judge duty thing. Is Matt Walsh doing something like
00:48that? I mean, you have to get the whole set, you have to get the actors, you have to get makeup,
00:53you have to get costumes, you have to get the lighting, you have to get the camera people.
00:57It's a huge amount of money. And honestly, I think my value is in the thoughts, not in the
01:04production. And if I were to go for higher production quality, like if I were to, you know,
01:09build a whole studio and hire people to come in and film the shows and so on, it would not improve
01:16the philosophy. The philosophy for me, like just me talking, and I'll do a lot of the course,
01:21not video. I used to do more video. I do less video now. Just me talking, I think is the real
01:27value. And I don't think the production values really would add to that. In fact, it would
01:31subtract to it, because everything that I would do to plan and execute on that kind of thing would
01:36be less transmitting of thoughts from my mind to the world. So it's not a thing that I particularly
01:42want to do. All right. I recently had a falling out with my older brother. He has been going
01:47through a really tough time as of late, and I've been calling and checking on him every day. But
01:52over the past month, I may have been a little too pushy and been asking questions to see if there
01:55was any more I could do. He's suffering from a deep depression, and I have suggested he try to
01:59push through the pain and get on a schedule and change his habits in small increments. He hung up
02:04on me twice. And then the last two conversations, he rushed me quickly off the phone because he
02:09doesn't care to hear anything more. So I stopped calling him. Now a month has gone by, he has not
02:13picked up the phone, and neither have I. Am I wrong for backing away? Or am I abandoning him
02:18when he's at his most vulnerable? I can't help but feel a strange sadness come over me, but also at
02:22the same time a sense of freedom. Am I doing the right thing? That is a very big question, a very
02:28deep question, and I have a lot of sympathy for this kind of situation. I mean, I have massive
02:36sympathies for just about everyone, everyone's situation, perhaps to a fault, but this is very
02:41tough. If you have someone in your life who's fading and falling apart, and they resist all
02:51chances of help, they resist all good advice, and then stop contacting you,
02:56that's a very tough situation. I mean, it's sort of to me like, you know, prior to COVID,
03:03you couldn't really force medical treatment on people, so it's like your brother's got a giant
03:08tumor growing on his neck or something, and he won't go and see a doctor. Now you can't operate
03:14on him, obviously, unless you're a doctor, in which case I think still you can't, but you can't
03:20operate on him, and he won't go and see a doctor, and what does that mean? So I'll be blunt about
03:27this. He might be preparing to die. I don't know, obviously, and don't be alarmed. This is just an
03:35amateur opinion from the ether, so it sounds to me, though, that he could be. It's a tiny
03:41possibility that he could be preparing to die. If somebody's suffering from a deep depression
03:46and begins to cut off everyone around them, and I assume you'd be one of the last people
03:49he'd cut off as a brother and all, he could be preparing to die. In other words, he just could
03:54be in the grip of a kind of demon that's telling him to die. Now, I don't mean he's going to kill
04:00himself, but, you know, he could eat himself to death. He could be careless. He could hurt
04:06himself just by accident, or he might just be taking the kind of actions like poor sleep,
04:14poor nutrition, no exercise that has a kind of death impulse to it. So I view people in these
04:23kinds of situations where they're clearly in need of help and rejecting all help as being
04:29preyed upon by a kind of demon that's squatting on their shoulders and whispering sweet,
04:34come-to-death nothings into their ear. The issue with your brother is not, in my view,
04:42again, I'm no expert, so it's just an amateur opinion. The issue with your brother, in my view,
04:47is more to do with who wants him to fail, who wants him to die, who wants him to have this
04:54terrible, horrible, sad existence that he may at some point be relieved to relieve himself from,
05:01who wants him to die. Now, I don't know anything about your history. I'd certainly be happy to do
05:06a call-in show, call in at freedomain.com. I'd be happy to do a call-in show, but I would imagine
05:13that there's someone in the past, perhaps a parent figure or someone like that, who really hated
05:20your brother. Not him as a person, but whatever. I mean, my mother hated me at times, but she didn't
05:25hate me. She just hated that she perceived me to be in the way of the life that she wanted.
05:33I mean, if there's a giant rock in the road and you're late for an appointment, you don't hate
05:40the rock, you just hate the interference with your goal. So it wasn't personal to me or anything
05:47like that. She just imagined she'd have this great life without kids. So if there was somebody in the
05:54past, and it could even be not even the distant past, if he was married and had a wife who hated
06:01him or ended up hating him or something like that, there's somebody who wants him, quote,
06:07I say unfunctioning. I don't want to use that cliche out alive or anything like that.
06:12But there's someone that wants him to do the opposite of flourishing, someone who hates him.
06:20And in my view, again, I can't prove any of this, and it may not be true at all, but it's just my
06:25opinion. But I think there is a certain preparing to fail out of the planet situation that goes on
06:34with people who isolate themselves this much. I can also understand the relief. Now, I obviously
06:39don't know your family history or anything like that, and again, a call in, you're more than
06:42welcome to call in. But I don't think that the issue is, well, you just need to get on a regular
06:48schedule, you need to do this, that and the other, right? That he is being consumed by a kind of
06:54self-hatred. And when I think of the term self-hatred or I hear the term self-hatred,
07:00I don't think of somebody who just wakes up one morning and says, I'm just going to hate myself.
07:04I think of it as an internalized voice of an external hater. Half of the internet
07:10is people trying to implant in you their hatred so that you stop doing whatever you're doing.
07:16They try to paralyze you with this toxic verbal or typed venom of hatred so that you stop doing
07:23what you're doing. And it takes a fairly robust person to experience some primordial hatred of
07:30themselves and not only survive, but flourish. And the way that you do it is you recognize
07:37that people who try to control you through hatred are too narcissistic to hate you personally.
07:43I mean, obviously there are people who fear and hate me in the world and so on.
07:47But the funny thing is, if they met me, we'd probably have a pretty good time,
07:51right? It's not me. It's not me. It's not me. And whoever is hating on your brother that he
08:00has internalized, he's internalized because he thinks it's about him, right? So I don't mean
08:06to make it about myself, but if this is something that is of value, it would be something like,
08:11you know, my mother would openly say how much she hates me. But that's not personal to me.
08:19I mean, I'm such a nice person. This is a funny thing, right? I'm such a nice person that to hate
08:26me is bizarre, right? I mean, it's nothing to do with me. My mother hated her own choices.
08:33You know, I think she was one of these people who, I mean, she really wanted to be taken care
08:39of. She really wanted to get married. And I think she viewed her kids as being in the way of that.
08:43Actually, I kind of know that. So her anger and hatred and frustration with me was not personal
08:50to me. It would have been any kid, right? So the general lie that hateful parents give you is that
08:58there's something wrong with you. You're worthy of the hates. You're so selfish or bad or mean
09:03or whatever it is. But all you have to do is ask yourself one basic question. Well,
09:09if it had been another kind of kid, like if you'd been removed and some other kid
09:16had been put in your place, would your parent be any different? Well, no. No, they wouldn't, right?
09:24Because anyone who pours hatred down the gullet of a kid is a pretty monstrous person,
09:28and it's a different kid wouldn't make any difference. In fact, I'll go you even further.
09:35Which is that even if my mother had had no children, she still wouldn't have been any
09:42happier. In fact, having children probably made her about as happy as she could, which was not
09:48very happy. A little manic from time to time, but not happy at all. So whoever is hating on
09:56your brother, again, I don't know. I don't know. It's just obviously a stab in the dark.
10:01But whoever's hating on your brother has convinced your brother that it's something
10:04to do with him, that the hatred is justified in some way. And even if there's nobody in particular
10:12in your life, if your brother happened to have come in possession of some important and useful
10:17truths, it's a pretty tough slog, man, at times to be in possession of true and useful facts.
10:25Because true and useful facts are in direct opposition to the lies that power, in particular,
10:33political power, political power is founded on falsehoods and lies. And so if you're in possession
10:39of truth, right, the old statement from Voltaire, it's dangerous to be right when the government is
10:45wrong. So if he's in possession of a truth that is important, and he tries to share it with people
10:52who claim to value the truth, right, I mean, what are we always told as a kid? We're told two
10:57things, be accurate, tell the truth, be right, and tell the truth, right? So we're told to be right
11:04in our exams, right? Like if you get something wrong, you're marked a big gray X and you're
11:09marked down and you can have a year of your life taken from you by being forced to repeat a grade,
11:13right? So we're always told to be accurate, be correct, cite your sources, show your work,
11:18be accurate, be correct. And we're also told to tell the truth, right? That's what we're told
11:24as children. So we imagine, we fantasize, or believe with evidence that society cares about
11:34accuracy, the truth, right? So three things, be accurate, tell the truth and be good, right?
11:41And they also say, don't do what everyone else is doing, right? I was told this, right?
11:48Just don't do what everyone else is doing. Oh, if everybody else jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge,
11:52would you do that too, right? So think for yourself, be accurate, tell the truth, be good,
11:58right? How does that work out when you try to do that as an adult in society as a whole?
12:03When you try to be accurate, you tell the truth, you think for yourself,
12:08and you do good, right? How does that work out? So it turns out that all of these rules for
12:14children in school, they're just humiliation rituals. It's just a way of exercising power
12:18over you and punishing you. It's not because they want you to think for yourself. It's not because
12:23they want you to actually be honest. It's not because they want you to be accurate.
12:26They just want to have a bunch of standards by which they can threaten and punish you to break
12:30your spirit. So it could be any number of things. It could be that your brother is waking up to the
12:35true nature of society in its current form, which is largely that it's a punitive madhouse that runs
12:42on the nuclear fuel of rank hypocrisy. Sorry. I mean, I think I've earned the right to say
12:49these things because I have. What have I done? I've been accurate, right? I've consulted with
12:54experts for all the controversial things I've said. I've been accurate. I've told the truth.
12:58I've been good, and I've thought for myself. All the things that I was taught to do as a child,
13:02and I was told were super important, and if I didn't do them, I would be punished.
13:05Funny story. It turns out if you don't do these things as a kid in following the curriculum,
13:10you're punished, and if you do these things as an adult following the facts, you're also punished.
13:16Hey, look at that. You're punished for being honest, good, and truthful as a child,
13:20and you're punished for being honest, good, and truthful as an adult. Excellent. Great job,
13:24everybody. Way to set up a beautiful, functioning, sustainable society.
13:30So there's something that's going on, right? Something that he's trying to process,
13:35and if you tell the truth in society—I mean, this is Jesus, Socrates, Galileo, you name it, right?
13:43If you tell the truth in society, the people who profit from lies kind of want you dead, right?
13:48I mean, sometimes very explicitly, and sometimes more subtly.
13:55To me, there would be some kind of thanatos, some kind of decay impulse going on in your brother,
14:00and it's not about whether he has the right schedule or not. In my humble opinion,
14:05it would be about who wants him paralyzed in this kind of way. Could be parents, could be teachers,
14:11could be someone else in the family, could be an ex or a current. It could be society as a whole,
14:18but I would say that's probably the level of conversation that he needs. And of course,
14:24if either of you want to call and show, you're more than welcome. I hope that helps,
14:27and again, remember, it's just a tentative hypothesis. I don't know.
14:31How can we best help you spread the message of peaceful parenting? Just talk about the
14:34ideas with people. Talk about the ideas. You know, you can just, I mean, dinner table conversation.
14:39Why do you think we have a phrase for every kind of bigotry, except bigotry against children?
14:45Why do we have the racism, sexism, homophobia, Islamophobia, and so on? Why do we have all of
14:50these terms, but no term like childism, which is prejudice and bigotry against children?
14:55Because, you know, there is demonstrably that in society. So why do you think, right? So just
14:59things like that. Hey, Steph, do you have an opinion on lending people money? I've always
15:03been a saver and maintained the mindset of self-reliance. When life has thrown me a curveball,
15:06I have been able to manage financial eventualities on my own. Perhaps because of this perception
15:12has been that all is well with me and I have no problems. Maybe this is why people have always
15:16reached out to me for help. I have to admit that I have had difficulty saying no, and of course,
15:22most have paid me back. But there are a few times I've been burned. Do you think in life,
15:27it should be our duty to help friends, family with need? Or should I adopt a sterner policy?
15:32And if so, could it be something that could come back to bite me? Should I one day be in need?
15:37Well, listen, I mean, I've borrowed and lent money and mostly it's been a negative experience. And
15:42by that, I don't mean that people didn't pay me back. For the most part, people have paid me back.
15:47I mean, when I was young, but it is something that is a young person's prerogative, right?
15:55So once I got my first job, I never needed to borrow money again. Like my first real adult job
16:02as a coder or whatever, right? I just didn't need to borrow money again. There was a time when I was
16:07completely out of money. And that's what drove me very, very hard to get my first coding job,
16:11even though I have no training in coding, but a lot of hobby experience. And no one was able to
16:21lend me money at that particular point. And so like I was literally just panicked. And so if
16:27somebody had lent me money, I don't think I would have had the same urgency. And because I had my
16:32first coding job, I was able to get investment for my first software company. So it was a lot
16:40of dominoes that were very positive that came out of me not being able to borrow money from people.
16:46My friends were just going through a skint phase at that time. Friends and family just couldn't
16:49lend me any money. So the fact that nobody was able to lend me money was uncomfortable at the
16:56time, but launched my career in many ways. I mean, it may have happened some other way, but
17:01I think that urgency, when you have genuine urgency, that can be quite powerful for people,
17:06but they really, really want to help. So I think having a buffer when you're young can be very
17:15helpful. So I'm trying to think, I lent a girlfriend $2,400. I lent a friend $850. I think I borrowed
17:26a couple of hundred bucks here and there. My rent was 275 when I was a student. And so there were
17:33little bits here and there that I lent and borrowed. The unpleasant part was just that it
17:38took... I don't like hounding people. Obviously, nobody does. But I don't like hounding people.
17:43And I find that people tend to be avoidant. If they don't have the money, but they promised to
17:49get it back to you, they just avoid you. And that's not good. I mean, just in general, don't
17:54do that. Just in general, say, I thought I was going to get the money, but this, this, and this
17:58happened. And yeah, I think sometimes it took up to a year to get the money back. And that's
18:04unpleasant. That's unpleasant. Not necessarily the year. It's unpleasant that you have to not
18:12know what's going on. The person avoids you. That's the unpleasant part. So yeah, it can happen.
18:18Reasonable people understand that sometimes you think you can pay money back. Turns out you can't
18:22for X, Y, and Z reason. But you need to be sort of honest and upfront with that. So I found mostly
18:29it was the process of being dodged for the loan repayment that was the most unpleasant, not
18:35the actual loan and repayment. Now, that stuff needs to time out though. By the time you're in
18:42your mid-twenties, you shouldn't need to lend and borrow money because you should save your money.
18:47You say you need a buffer. Well, the buffer is called savings. That's number one. Number two,
18:51the reason why I still have no regrets about lending people money is that we were all of us
18:58in difficult financial situations when I was growing up. We were all of us
19:02in these difficult financial situations. I mean, the guy I lent money to had had real tragedies
19:08in the family and very expensive things, and he had to make a go of it alone early on in life.
19:14It's tough stuff. So most people get money or have that buffer because their parents
19:24will give or lend the money, right? So I got no money from family to go to university.
19:32I got some grants and I did pretty well at earning scholarships, but I did not
19:39get any money from family. I borrowed some money and paid it back and so on, right?
19:45So I think it's important to remember for most people that the majority of people who've got
19:52decent family income and savings in their environment, they get money and resources
19:57from their family. So those of us who are kind of like the lost boys, we definitely got
20:05money from each other. We were each other's buffer. And I think that was actually helpful.
20:10I've always been sort of a real saver and I really hate to spend as a whole,
20:14unless it's on something that's an investment. So I ended up lending more than I borrowed.
20:19And then the one time I couldn't borrow, I ended up really launching my career. So
20:24I have no particular issue with it, but just tell people up front,
20:27if you can't pay me back, just don't dodge me. Just let me know. That's all I need. So I can
20:30plan, right? All right. Hi, Steph. For the last 13 years, I've been helping my sister invest
20:36from telling her what to invest in through to managing those investments in real time,
20:40through weekly market research, alongside my investments as a full-time investor.
20:45In the process, I've made her millions and she is on the verge of generational wealth,
20:48which has allowed both her and her husband to either retire or semi-retire to focus on
20:52raising their child. Over those 13 years, I did not ask for anything in return. I wanted to help
20:57my sister. And I'm aware of the dangers of stealth contracts, where you expect something in
21:01return, even though the other person is not aware of it. And now, and how that can build resentment.
21:05Despite knowing this, I am starting to feel a bit of resentment due to the duration I had
21:10been doing it and the amount of money I've made her. And I have nothing in return for
21:14all that I have done. Even at Christmas, all I was given was a 30 pound pair of
21:18jogging trousers, which I didn't want. Is it right to feel hurt by a lack of reciprocity,
21:23even though I originally was happy to help her out without asking for anything in return,
21:28or would this fall under a stealth contract, which is wrong? Sorry, why is a stealth contract wrong?
21:33A stealth contract is one that's not explicit, but where you expect some kind of reciprocity.
21:38I don't know that that's a stealth contract. I think that's just a reasonable request for
21:42reciprocity or expectation of reciprocity based on self-esteem. I mean, if I ask for donations,
21:52and I do, freedomain.com slash donate, if I ask for donations, is that wrong? No. In fact, I started
21:59asking for donations because people wanted me to. I mean, not saying it wasn't my, you know,
22:03still my choice, but I didn't even really know back in the day that you could take donations and
22:10all of that. And people are like, I'd love to donate. I'd love to help out the show. This
22:13is so important. So is it wrong for me to ask for donations? No. No, not at all. I mean,
22:21it's responsible and important and necessary. So, you know, I've got payroll and all that.
22:29But I have a bigger issue as a whole with what you've done. I have a bigger issue as a whole
22:34with what you've done. So I think it's very important in society to let people accumulate
22:43resources based on the actual skills they have. I'm a big fan of charity for those in need,
22:50but this is, you know, you've made millions for people who aren't competent with money.
22:58If they were competent with money, they would recognize the value of what you've done
23:02and do more than buy you some cheap ass jogging pants after you've made the millions and millions
23:08and millions of dollars, right? You say generational wealth, I assume it's quite a lot of money.
23:12So you have taken millions and millions of dollars and you've handed it to people
23:21who aren't competent either financially or morally, and I consider that a not good thing.
23:28You see, we have scarce and precious resources in society, in the world, in life as a whole.
23:35Savings are scarce. Capital is scarce. I mean, if you doubt that, just go and try and raise
23:40capital for a business, right? It's pretty hard to come by. So when you work very hard
23:47to transfer a huge amount of capital to people who are selfish, thoughtless, not good people
23:55and bad with money, what you've done is you've taken society's scarce and precious
24:02seed crop, right? The seed crop is you can't eat this because we need to plant it in the spring,
24:06otherwise we starve to death forever. So you've taken society's scarce seed crop and you've given
24:13it to really, really, really bad farmers and you've kept it away from really, really, really
24:19good farmers. I don't think that's a particularly good thing. I'll be straight up with you.
24:25You obviously are thoughtful and sensitive perhaps to a fault, which is very common and
24:30not a bad thing, but you are highly skilled in creating and maintaining capital. So what's
24:37going to happen is at growing capital, and good for you, like you serve a great function in society
24:44by providing resources to companies so they can grow and hire people so the people can start
24:48families and live good lives and have careers and save for their old age. And you're doing a
24:53wonderful, great service with your investing. And you have taken millions and millions and
25:02millions of dollars and handed it over to people who are mean, selfish and incompetent. I mean,
25:08just based upon they've never offered you anything, they've never given you any particular
25:12thanks, it sounds like, and they buy you a cheap ass pair of trousers for Christmas after you've
25:16made them a number of millions of dollars. So I don't like, personally, I'm just telling you,
25:22I don't like that you've spent 13 years handing capital over to mean and selfish people. I mean,
25:29not only is that rewarding, mean and selfish behavior, and they should damn well have been
25:33thanking you and paying you and praising you to the skies, and learning your tips and tricks and
25:39saying, we need to learn this stuff so that you don't have to do it because it's... So you're
25:43going to stop doing this at some point, right? Are you going to hand them all of their investments?
25:48And what are they going to do? You know, these kind of mean and selfish people who aren't good
25:52with money, what are they going to do with all of this precious seed capital that you're handing
25:56over to them? Well, my guess is they're either going to find some other financial advisor who
26:01they're going to pay, or, and who's not going to be as good as you, so they're going to start
26:07losing the money relative to what they could have gained with you, or they're going to think that
26:12they can do all you can do and they're going to waste it and blow it. And that's not good.
26:17They're going to malinvest, right? They're going to malinvest. Malinvestment is taking
26:24society's precious seed crops and throwing them into the ocean or on stony ground. It's a waste.
26:32It's a huge waste. How are they going to keep this money if they're too incompetent and selfish and
26:38greedy to even thank you for creating it? They won't. Go read The Fountainhead for what happens
26:44when you overcharge people beyond their, like you charge up people beyond their own abilities.
26:47It's not good. It's not good. So, I'm not a fan at all. And I think you need to ask yourself why
26:55you've done this. Why I've done this. I have not watched the Netflix show Baby Reindeer.
27:00We talked about the dating app thing last night. And yes, the last question I have that I want to
27:07answer is, Steph, the following question is a follow-up question to a previous question I
27:12asked involving the elephant man. Right. So, there's a lot of preamble here, which I hope
27:17you'll forgive me if I skip. So, on a very recent call in with a German guy, you asked the German
27:22guy, what's the issue in regards to following principles? And he said, it's hard. I was very
27:31interested in hearing what he was referring to when he said it's hard. I think I know what he
27:34was referring to. I think he was referring to the fact that if you follow principles, it will likely
27:37lead you nowhere in the modern world of women and relationships. Not to say I have a problem with
27:41the principles you advocate for, Steph, but it does. But does following principles really lead
27:44to results in the modern world of dating and relationships? So, evidence is women are drawn
27:50to bad guys, jerks, and even in some cases, criminals. I don't have to remind you the most
27:53popular book of all time with women is Fifty Shades of Grey about a brutal, arrogant jerk
27:58who blindfolds women and smacks them on the ass with a belt and wooden spoon. Oh, it does worse
28:01than that. Women love drama, according to the saying. You can make a woman feel anything,
28:07just don't make her feel nothing. Now, I get and fully understand the point of following principles
28:10that you advocate for, Steph, but in the face of all the evidence that suggests the average woman
28:13isn't really looking for a guy with virtue who follows principles, you have to deal with these
28:18facts. And so, this goes on and on. And I guess my only question would be, do you want a woman
28:27who wants you to beat her? Do you want a woman who wants to date a criminal? Do you want a woman
28:36who goes from tall alcoholic to muscular drug user and back? I mean, do you want these women
28:42around there? Is that who you want? Okay, so if that's who you want, then I guess you can go and
28:49date those people and see what happens, right? You can go and see what happens when you date
28:54highly disturbed, self-loathing, dysfunctional women whose fundamental value is only sexual,
29:02right? In other words, if there was no sexual transactions involved, nobody would give them
29:07the time of day. Okay, so you can go and date those women and you can abandon principles and
29:12you can see what happens. It won't be good. In fact, it could be seriously bad, but you can
29:18certainly do that. So, my argument though would be that if you follow principles, those women won't
29:24want to date you. And that's a good thing. And that's a good thing. If you follow principles,
29:30the crazy, bad, dysfunctional, self-loathing women, the unstable women, the dangerous women,
29:37oh no, they won't want to date you. Oh no, how terrible. You miss out on all the stalkers and
29:43the women who slash your tires and the women who falsely accuse you of rape and the women who
29:48falsely accuse you of beating them. And even if you never do anything bad, they will then go on
29:54social media and name and shame you as an emotional abuser. Why? Because you dared to
30:00question or oppose them. Look on all of the excitement you're missing out on by following
30:04principles. Do you want these women? I mean, if you want these women, you know what to do.
30:10Just go pander to them and work out and develop addictions or whatever it is, whatever they like,
30:15and just go and you'll get those women. So, I'm not sure what you're saying to me. I'm genuinely
30:21not sure what you're saying. Are you saying that the women who want to have sex with sociopathic
30:28criminals won't also want to have sex with you if you follow principles and you're saying that's a
30:34bad thing? I'm sorry, I'm a little confused here. The women who will sperm jack you and
30:43then get pregnant with your kid even if you don't want to get pregnant and then sue you for child
30:47support for 20 years, are you saying that principles will somehow not give you access
30:50to these lovely ladies who will make your life so much better and more wonderful? Oh, no. The
30:56women who want to have sex with sociopaths and criminals and rapists and murderers, boy, they
31:02just won't want to date me if I principle stuff. How do I solve this conundrum? Okay, well, if you
31:08want to date these crazy women, these immoral women, these ELO-style evil women, then you can
31:14give up your principles and you can go and date these women and you can have, I guess, a very
31:18exciting and dangerous life. Don't have kids with them if you can avoid it because then you're
31:23putting the kids in harm's way. So, are you saying that, Steph, well, the principles you advocate
31:27might shield me from women who have a fetish for violent criminals? Well, yeah. That's not a bug,
31:33that's a feature and you're complaining that it's a bug. So, if you have a fetish for women who have
31:39a fetish for violent criminals, you should just be honest about that and say, Steph, well, I can't
31:43fulfill my fetish for violent women who have a fetish for violent criminals if I act on principle.
31:49If I live a principled life, I don't get access to sociopathic, immoral, deranged, and dangerous
31:56women. And you're saying this to me like that's a problem. Now, if you say there aren't any virtuous
32:02women in the world and therefore I'm going to get no one, that the only women who are out there are
32:08the women whacking off the 50 Shades of Grey and chasing criminals, okay, well, then you probably
32:14need to change your social circle because I don't know any women like that and I know a lot of women.
32:18So, you're moving in the wrong circles, right? You're moving in a circle where
32:22terrible people are doing terrible things to the vulnerable on a daily basis and have no
32:28chance of changing anytime in the future. So, you just need to change. So, if everybody looks bad
32:34for you, you're in the wrong social circle. If the only women around are like these terrible
32:40women who have a fetish for violent criminals and you can't imagine any other kind of woman, then
32:45that's on you. That's on the social circles you've chosen to move in,
32:49right? That's the trash planet, the low-rent district, the underworld that you want to slither
32:55through like a shark on steroids, okay? So, are you then complaining to me that there aren't any good
33:02women in your environment and therefore, philosophy is bad? Change your environment.
33:08Change your environment. It's like saying, well, I can't be outside, Steph, because
33:14I can't be outside for eight hours in the sun with no shirt on, Steph, because I get sunburned.
33:20It's like, okay, well, put on a shirt, sunscreen, maybe take some shade once in a while,
33:25you'll be fine, right? Change your environment. Change your environment.
33:30Now, I will certainly say that if you want a life that's really exciting and not full of useless,
33:34empty, self-generated drama, then live by principles, right? If it's excitement you crave,
33:40right? And if you have a fetish for dangerous women, maybe it is excitement that you crave.
33:44And if you're complaining that philosophy doesn't help you bang dangerous women,
33:51I mean, you're trying to defuse a bomb that always goes off, right? You know that.
33:54They're more skilled at going off than you are at defusing. So, if you want a life that's truly
34:00exciting, live by principles. See, you're going to get drama either way, right? So, you're going
34:06to have strong emotions in life for the most part, no matter what, right? So, if you achieve your
34:11goals, you have the excitement, the roller coaster of trying to achieve your goals and succeeding and
34:15failing and up and down and all that roller coaster, right? So, you're going to have all of
34:18that. If you avoid achieving your goals, if you fail to achieve your goals, if you fail to even
34:25try to achieve your goals, then you ride the roller coaster of regret and despair and self-justification
34:31and maybe it was a good idea, but then I met this person who did achieve their goals and now I feel
34:35bad, but then I met this person who failed, so then I feel better, right? So, you're going to
34:40ride a roller coaster in life no matter what. So, you might as well achieve something because
34:44the ride's going to be extreme no matter what. The ride's going to be extreme no matter what.
34:49So, choose your extremity, choose your intensity, not whether there is intensity,
34:56but or even the degree of intensity, just choose your intensity. I mean, certainly you've listened
35:02to enough call and shows, I'm sure, where people have avoided making wise decisions based on
35:07philosophical principles and then they end up in these complete disaster scenarios
35:12with virtually no way out, right? They end up in these absolute disaster scenarios with virtually
35:19no way out. Is that what you want? Look at all these people, they avoided principles and then
35:25they ended up getting divorced and not seeing their kids, being chased through the legal system,
35:32false accusations, all kinds of terrible things. So, look, they avoided principles
35:41and they got a wife and kids and their life is terrible or they avoided principles, didn't tell
35:48the truth and confront the people in their lives who've done them wrong and then they end up trapped
35:53living in a garage at the age of 45. So, that's not fun. Your life is going to be intense no
35:59matter what and people think they can avoid that intensity by avoiding principles, you just choose
36:05a different intensity that's worse. Have intensity plus pride as opposed to intensity plus shame.
36:12There is no situation wherein the avoidance of principles does not result in intensity. I mean,
36:19that's a lie, right? Avoid principles and your life will become easy. Yeah, right. Yeah, I mean,
36:24I understand it. I mean, in the short run, to idiots, I'm not calling you an idiot, but in
36:29general, to idiots in the short run, it's like, wow, man, look at that guy. Gets up early, goes to the gym,
36:37you know, stretches and exercises. I mean, he doesn't seem to eat that much, man. Look at that
36:44guy. That's too much work, man. That's intense. That's like crazy. That's like being a workaholic.
36:49That's being stressed. Where's his chill? Where's his relaxation, man? And so, you get the people
36:55who sleep in and who don't exercise and who indulge their appetites and eat whatever they want.
37:00And, you know, in a relatively short time frame, the people who sleep in, who don't exercise,
37:06who eat whatever they want, they look like they're having a better time. I get that. I understand
37:10that. That's pretty obvious, right? But, you know, fast forward 20 years, who's having a better life?
37:16You know, I spend eight hours a week exercising. I mean, I get other things done while I'm
37:22exercising. I do business calls. I'll even play, you know, a game of Catan on a computer, a tablet
37:27or something. I'll get other things done while I'm exercising. But I do eight hours. Now, some of that
37:33includes, you know, the very brisk walking I do sometimes when I'm doing shows. But I will exercise
37:38for eight hours a week. So, it's, you know, it's a minor part-time job. And the result of that is
37:43I'm still alive because I had cancer and the base of health that I had really helped me overcome the
37:47cancer and shrug it off pretty quickly. And the quality of life that I have is extraordinarily
37:51high. There's really nothing other than I'm a little nervous to full sprint ever since I had a
37:56knee. I cracked a knee on a hotel room floor in St. Louis some years ago. I'm a little nervous to do
38:00a full sprint, but I can still run because I run when I'm playing racquet sports. But there's
38:05virtually nothing that I can't do now that I could do when I was 17. Like, I can hike. I can play an
38:13hour plus of hard sports. I do, you know, 40 minutes of the highest setting on a cardio
38:21machine. I lift the same weights that I did when I was in my teens. So, quality of life. So,
38:27people can say, man, think of all the hours you've wasted exercising. Okay. Let's say that that was
38:32all a complete waste, even though it wasn't. Let's say that it was all a complete waste.
38:36But the quality of life that I have now is better. Infinitely better. If I hadn't exercised, A,
38:42I probably would have died from the cancer. And B, even if I hadn't even gotten cancer and all of
38:48that, what would have happened? Well, my back would be shot. My knees would be shot. I'd be
38:53overweight. You know, like, labored breathing. Couldn't move anywhere. Quality of life would
38:57be terrible. So, you're saying, well, I don't want to sleep well. I don't want to exercise.
39:05I don't want to eat well. Because that's tough, right? And okay, but you're just choosing your
39:11suffering. You just, you suffer now or you suffer later. You suffer in a temporary way.
39:15And there's times when exercise is quite unpleasant. And you just kind of have to do it,
39:19right? Like, I mean, there's times when I don't want to do, I didn't want to do a show last night
39:23for a variety of reasons. I was in a slightly crabby mood for things outside of the show.
39:28And I just didn't really feel like it. But it turned out to be a good thing to do. And I'm
39:30glad I did it. It's the same thing with exercise. I don't want to go on exercise. I just want to sit
39:34on the couch. Maybe I'm feeling tired. I want to nap. And sometimes a nap is okay. But sometimes
39:39exercise is the better idea. So I go do it. And then once I start doing it, it's fine. You know,
39:43the usual thing, right? And you have enough experience that you can tell that by now,
39:47or at least I do. So you're saying, well, I can't get the trashy women if I have principles that I'm
39:52like, why would you complain about that? You say, oh, well, there aren't any non-trashy women.
39:57Well, I know a lot of high quality women. In fact, every woman in my environment,
40:02socially and work-wise, everyone in my environment is a high quality woman
40:06that men would be very happy and lucky to get to be with. So you're in the wrong circles.
40:15And you're saying, well, Steph, there's an incompatibility between the trash planet I
40:19live in and having principles. And I'm like, yes, there is. And you're complaining about this as a
40:23bug when it is, in fact, a feature. And you may have to make that desert trek that I talk about in
40:27my book on truth, The Tyranny of Illusion. You may have to make that desert trek where it looks
40:34like you're heading out to your death, but there's a glimmering village of like-minded souls
40:38on the far side of the desert. And it's worth making the trek because where you are, the oasis
40:44is drying up. So you either die at the oasis or you make the trek. And so, yeah, if you're saying,
40:51well, I can't find any quality women, then you need to change your environment. And I don't know
40:56exactly how you do that because I don't know where you are. Of course, call in at freedomain.com.
41:00Happy to chat about this further. But if you're complaining that principles is keeping you from
41:04dating women who want to date criminals, I'm not really sure what to say to you other than, yeah,
41:12I tell you that it is. And if you start acting on principles, you'll really be amazed at who
41:18you end up running into because we can tell each other. I'm constantly scanning for people
41:22of nobility and integrity and purpose, constantly scanning for people like that.
41:28And once you become good and you start living on principle, you will see other people. It's like
41:33this masonic secret handshake. You'll see other people, you'll fall into conversation with them,
41:38and you'll become fast friends before you know it. Whereas if you are not living on principle,
41:43I will see that right away and I'll just pass you by. I'll chat with you for a few minutes or
41:48whatever, exchange some pleasantries, but I'll pass you by. So if you say, well, I can't find
41:53any good people, it's because you're not good enough and you're not socializing enough.
41:56If you're good enough and socialize enough, you'll find the good people
42:00and you'll find the good women. I mean, it's not an accident that after I went through therapy,
42:05I found my wife. After I did two years of major therapy for like eight to 10 hours a week,
42:12three hours plus journaling, after I did all of that work, oh, look, it's a miracle. I found my
42:17wife. So again, I say this with sympathy because I was born in a trash planet and I lived there
42:23for a while, but there's ways out and it has to do with self-knowledge and a commitment to virtue.
42:28And yes, there are people who want you to stay there and there are people, like you understand,
42:32there's just people around you who want to fill you with despair at the idea of principle,
42:35so they don't have to be good. We are in a constant tug of war with the people around us,
42:40which is why the people around us need to be pulling in the right direction. Otherwise,
42:43we're just going to fall forever. Oh, what a lovely sentence. So there are people around you
42:49who want you to feel despair. It's kind of demonic, right? There are people around you
42:53who want you to feel despair at the idea of living by principles because they don't live
43:00by principles and they don't want you to live by principles because if you do it,
43:03they should have done it and they'll feel bottomless regret. So they're engaged in a
43:06battle for your soul where they're saying, well, you know, principles, it's all nice in theory,
43:11but there's no point in practice. It just ends up with you isolated alone. It's all ideology
43:16and you end up being really judgy and perfectionist and you can't get along with
43:20anybody and you can't relax. You got no chill. You got no riz, right? I mean, they're just trying
43:25to talk you out of being good because they chose to be bad. I mean, we understand that, right?
43:31We understand that. If you've got a bunch of fat friends and you start going to the gym and
43:33exercising, they're probably going to sabotage you. I mean, or maybe they'll be inspired and
43:38join you, but that's not usually how it works with virtue, right? A lack of virtue, a commitment to
43:45corruption, particularly when you've corrupted others, quickly becomes terminal, right? Terminal
43:52to your conscience, to your soul. And certainly once you've done the kind of immorality that can't
43:57be undone, like if you've hurt and corrupted children, you can't undo that. If you've hurt
44:01and corrupted others, you can't undo that. So now you're just all in on corruption. You're just all
44:07in on corruption. And so everyone's whispering into your ear, well, man, you know, hey, you can't
44:11be good, man, because all women are bad, don't you know? All women are bad. And so if you're
44:17this Mr. Integrity guy, you're never going to get laid. You're never going to get a woman because
44:21all women are bad, right? Yeah, I get that. So they're just trying to bribe you with corrupt,
44:26stanky pussy in order for you to give up the glory of your moral potential. Yeah, bribe you with
44:34half whores in order for you to give up your soul and your integrity. I get that.
44:40Okay. So I don't recommend that, but you can do that. You can do that. But don't come to
44:48me and complain that virtue is keeping the bad girls away from your plumb line to hell penis.
44:54No, sir, does not sell me a single penny of this penny stock. All right. Freedomain.com
45:01to help out so really, really would appreciate it. Thank you so much for your time,
45:04attention and support. Lots of love from up here. I'll talk to you soon. Bye.