TV-G | 30min | Comedy, Drama, Family, Music, TV Series | Episode aired 29 September 1965
Patty's rival Monica throws a party but doesn't invite Cathy. Patty gets Cathy invited but at the expense of losing Richard on a date to Monica, so Patty decides to skip the party. That is until she learns that a musical group needs a lead singer and there is a possibility of a record deal at the party.
Director: Bruce Bilson
Writers: Ed Jurist, Sidney Sheldon, William Asher
Stars: Patty Duke, William Schallert, Jean Byron
Patty's rival Monica throws a party but doesn't invite Cathy. Patty gets Cathy invited but at the expense of losing Richard on a date to Monica, so Patty decides to skip the party. That is until she learns that a musical group needs a lead singer and there is a possibility of a record deal at the party.
Director: Bruce Bilson
Writers: Ed Jurist, Sidney Sheldon, William Asher
Stars: Patty Duke, William Schallert, Jean Byron
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Hi, Popo.
00:09Hi, hon.
00:19Cathy get home yet?
00:27Uh, yeah, she went upstairs.
00:28Oh, went right up to her room, huh? That's bad.
00:31What do you mean?
00:32Popo, we're all gonna have to be especially nice to her.
00:35What happened?
00:36Just about the worst thing you can imagine.
00:38She flunked an exam?
00:40No, I'm talking about something really terrible.
00:43She lost her autographed picture of Ringo Starr?
00:46Popo.
00:47Well, what is it for Pete's sake?
00:49She wasn't invited to Monica Robinson's party.
00:52Oh. Well, I think she's strong enough to bear up under that.
00:56Popo, you don't understand.
00:58This isn't just a Saturday night get-together with hot dogs and soda pop.
01:01It's the whole bag. It's caviar and champagne.
01:04Caviar and champagne?
01:06Well, okay, pizza and punch.
01:09But if you don't get invited, you're practically an untouchable.
01:12Kid, she must really be shook up.
01:14She didn't look particularly shook up.
01:16Shook and, uh, she didn't seem very upset.
01:19Popo, don't you recognize the Pagliacci bit when you see it?
01:22Laughing on the outside, crying on the inside?
01:24I'm going to go cheer up her insides.
01:26Will you yell when Richard comes?
01:28Only if I see him first.
01:37Meet Kathy who's lived most everywhere
01:40From Zanzibar to Barclays Square
01:43But Patty's only seen the sights a girl can see from Brooklyn Heights
01:47What a crazy pair
01:49But they're cousins
01:52Identical cousins all the way
01:56One pair of matching bookends
01:59Different as night and day
02:02Where Kathy adores a minuet
02:06The ballet Russe and crepe Suzette
02:09Our Patty loves to rock and roll
02:11A hot dog makes her lose control
02:13What a wild duet
02:15Still they're cousins
02:17Identical cousins
02:20And you'll find
02:22They laugh alike, they walk alike
02:24At times they even talk alike
02:26You can lose your mind
02:28When cousins
02:31Are two of a kind
02:43Kathy, I know how upset you are
02:45About not being invited to Monica's party.
02:47I'm not upset, Patty. I hardly know Monica.
02:49Cousin, this is your Aunt Patty.
02:51You don't have to pretend with me.
02:53I'm not pretending, and I'm not upset.
02:55Kathy, the very fact that you refuse to admit you're upset
02:57Only proves how upset you are.
02:59Any psychiatrist will tell you that.
03:00Stop being silly.
03:02Okay, I just want you to know I'm not taking this lying down.
03:05Richard's over at Monica's now trying to swing it for you.
03:08Isn't that putting Richard in an awkward position?
03:11So what? He's been in an awkward position all his life.
03:14Besides, when I met Richard, he was going with Monica.
03:16So he can wrap her right around his little finger.
03:18Hey, Patty!
03:19There he is. I'll be right back.
03:25Hi. How'd you make out?
03:27No sweat. Monica said she'd love to have Kathy come over.
03:30Oh, that's great.
03:32There's just one little complication, Patty.
03:35It seems when Monica invited me, there's something I didn't realize.
03:39Yeah?
03:41Well, you see, she expects me to be her date.
03:44What?
03:45Yeah, now, that kind of puts me in an awkward position.
03:49Well, that's okay, Richard.
03:52I understand.
03:53You do? Really?
03:55Oh, sure.
03:56You go ahead to the dance and have a good time.
04:00Enjoy yourself.
04:02There's just one little thing I want you to do for me.
04:04Well, sure, Patty. What?
04:06Get out of here, you ankle-biter, and never show your fangs around here again!
04:14Uh, look, I'm sorry, Richard, but she won't come to the phone.
04:18I told her it was vitally important, but she said...
04:23Well, let me put it to you this way, Richard.
04:25I'm afraid you're involved in the Cold War,
04:27and you'd better think of this phone as the hotline.
04:31I mean, use it only for something important, like World War III.
04:36Right.
04:37Goodbye.
04:40Martin, do you think I ought to go up and talk to her?
04:43She said she just wants to be alone.
04:46She didn't have any dinner. She's upstairs just moping around.
04:49I really think we ought to do something.
04:51Natalie, when the Greta Garbo virus strikes,
04:53you just have to give it time to wear off.
04:56But, Martin...
05:03How are you feeling, Patty?
05:06Fine.
05:07Fine.
05:08Would you like a sandwich, dear?
05:10No, thank you, Mom. I just came down for a glass of water.
05:17I'll get it.
05:21What's wrong with the upstairs water?
05:23Doesn't have an audience.
05:26Patty, before you slam the door...
05:28Who is it, Patty?
05:30Nobody.
05:38What do you want, Richard Arnold?
05:40Richard Arnold?
05:41Benedict's brother.
05:43Patty, will you please open the door?
05:45I've got some great news for you.
05:47You're taking me to Monica's party?
05:49Oh, no, but...
05:54Patty, this is even better.
05:57Will you listen?
05:58I'm listening.
05:59What's the one thing you want more than anything else in the world?
06:03To go to Monica's party.
06:05No, I'm talking about a chance for you to sing with a band.
06:10A band?
06:13Well, sort of a band.
06:15I know these guys, and they've got a group,
06:17and they're looking for a vocalist.
06:19And I've practically sold them on using you.
06:21Are you putting me on?
06:23I swear.
06:24Oh, Richard, that's absolutely boss.
06:26Then I can tell them you're interested in singing with them?
06:29Sure, if they'll play at my party.
06:31Well, I'm sure they will.
06:34What party?
06:36The one I'm giving the same night as Monica's.
06:38With live music.
06:40I'll knock her right out of the box.
06:59Hi, Nat.
07:01Hi, Nat.
07:03Hi, dear.
07:05Yeah.
07:06Why don't you ask the girls to turn that down?
07:08I could hear it a block away.
07:09I'm afraid that can't be turned down.
07:23Who are they?
07:24The Shindogs.
07:26I don't care what's ailing them.
07:27I just want to know who they are.
07:34Hey!
07:59Hey, guy.
08:00Tell Patty we're ready for her now.
08:02Okay, guy.
08:03Hey, guy, they're ready for you.
08:05I know, Sally.
08:06I know you were invited to Monica's.
08:08But did you know that she's just having records
08:10and I'm having the Shindogs?
08:12I'm their vocalist, you know.
08:16Well, the point is that if Monica expects you
08:18to make that big a sacrifice,
08:20what kind of a friend is she?
08:24Okay.
08:25Yeah, well, it's up to you.
08:27Bye, Sally.
08:30You can cross that one off, too, Kathy.
08:37Will you make the rest of the calls
08:38while I go down and rehearse with the group?
08:40All right, Patty,
08:41but it really doesn't seem much use.
08:43Well, keep at it anyway, okay?
08:46You know, that's what I like about you English.
08:48You never say die.
08:51It's not only that I mind her having a party.
08:53I don't like her doing it to retaliate against Monica.
08:56I think we ought to do something.
08:59How about an anonymous call to the police?
09:29I felt a butterfly
09:33A funny little butterfly
09:39I wonder if it shows
09:43This strange new way I feel
09:47This strange new feeling
09:49That I simply can't conceive
09:54Tonight we held me tight
09:58And all the while we danced
10:01I felt a butterfly
10:05A funny little butterfly
10:11I'm still a little scared
10:14It happened much too fast
10:19I'm still a little lost
10:22Between what's coming and what's past
10:27I know it's not a dream
10:31It's lasted much too long
10:35Each time I close my eyes
10:38The feeling's still so strong
10:43Tonight I found this life
10:47Just to be a girl
10:50And feel a butterfly
10:54A funny little butterfly
10:59Inside
11:01It's funny butterfly
11:04It's funny butterfly
11:12Gosh, Patty, that was great.
11:13We're lucky to have you with us.
11:14Yeah, it worked out fine.
11:16Welcome to the club.
11:18She's really great.
11:19Yeah, that was really awesome.
11:20Patty.
11:25Couldn't get anybody?
11:29Wait a minute.
11:30Excuse me.
11:42Hi, Rich. Patty.
11:44Uh, Rich, I want you to call Monica
11:46and tell her that I'm gonna be very big about the whole thing.
11:49And if she's willing to merge her party with mine,
11:52I'm willing to throw in the live music.
12:05Patty, you found out which party we're gonna play at?
12:07Uh, no, but Richard should be here soon
12:10with the latest developments.
12:11I sure hope you guys don't mind playing up here,
12:13but my folks thought it'd give us a little more elbow room.
12:15Oh, no sweat. This'll be fine.
12:16Good.
12:17Did you talk to her? What'd she say?
12:19Well, her reaction was generally very favorable.
12:22Generally?
12:23Well, as far as the group coming over, that's great with her.
12:26But she was kind of bugged about one thing.
12:28Me.
12:29Well, you gotta expect it, Patty,
12:31after the way you sabotaged her.
12:33I see. That means I'm wiped out.
12:36That kind of leaves us in a bind.
12:38What do we do now?
12:40I'll tell you what you're going to do, fellas.
12:42You're going to go to Monica's and play the best you know how.
12:45But Patty...
12:46Don't you see, fellas?
12:47This is the break you've always been waiting for.
12:49I mean, everybody who's anybody will be at Monica's.
12:52Student council members, class officers,
12:54people who make decisions.
12:56I'll bet they even ask you to play at the prom.
12:58And then there'll be no stopping you.
13:00Nightclubs, movies, television.
13:02And when you're up there, fellas,
13:04I just want you to remember the little girl in the picture.
13:07I just want you to remember the little girl in Brooklyn Heights
13:09who didn't want to stand in your way.
13:11But what about you?
13:13Me?
13:15Forget about me. I really don't count.
13:18I'll get along.
13:19We're going to do the only decent thing.
13:21You are?
13:22Yeah.
13:23We're going to go to Monica's and play the very best we know how.
13:38What's that funny sound?
13:40Silence.
13:42It's refreshing, isn't it?
13:44What a week.
13:46You know, Nat,
13:48sometimes that girl of ours does things
13:50that really renews my faith in parenthood.
13:52You mean like insisting the boys play without her?
13:54And telling Kathy to use her best dress
13:57and telling her to go to the party and have a great time.
14:00And you should have heard her. She was so bright and cheery.
14:07I'm not disturbing you, am I?
14:09No. We were just talking about you.
14:11Oh?
14:13Patty, I know you've had a lot of disappointments this week,
14:15but I want you to know I'm very proud of the way you handle yourself.
14:18Oh, well, it's nothing.
14:20I mean, what's a party, anyway?
14:22It's not a matter of life or death, is it?
14:24That's my girl.
14:27I'll get it.
14:30PHONE RINGS
14:34Hello?
14:36Hi, Richard. Aren't you at the party?
14:39Well, I probably shouldn't tell you this because it'll upset you.
14:42But if I don't tell you, it might upset you even more.
14:45Will you stop being so mysterious? What is it?
14:47Well, there's an uncle of Monica's here at the party.
14:50And somebody told me he's owner of the Howard Record Company.
14:54You mean a company that makes records?
14:56What else?
14:58Oh, Richard, I'll never forget you for this.
15:00What are you going to do, Patty?
15:02Never mind. I'll just put Kathy on the phone.
15:16Patty?
15:18Hi.
15:19Where are you going, dear?
15:21Just out for some fresh air. See you later.
15:23Wait a minute. What have you got on under there?
15:26Oh, just something I threw on.
15:29Patty, you're not really going to that party, are you?
15:32I have to, Papa. It's a matter of life and death.
15:35Well, I hope you know what you're doing.
15:40Because I sure don't.
15:57Where did you disappear to?
15:59Well, I was just making a telephone call, Monica.
16:01To another girl, I suppose.
16:03Not unless you consider my mother a girl.
16:05Ha, ha, ha.
16:27My, but it's warm.
16:29How about going out to my car? It's air-conditioned.
16:32No, thank you. I don't like dancing in cars.
16:46My, but it's suddenly gotten chilly, hasn't it?
16:48It has?
16:49Yes. Would you mind getting me my sweater?
16:52I've got a heater in my car.
16:54With long sleeves?
16:57Oh, thank you.
17:01Her uncle's still here. Hurry up.
17:03Oh, good. Kathy, I don't know how to thank you for this.
17:05That's all right, Pat.
17:11Kathy!
17:12Here I am.
17:14Got your sweater.
17:16Oh, thank you.
17:18Uh, would you be a dear and get me a cold drink?
17:21I thought you were chilly.
17:23It just warmed up.
17:30Oh, Kathy!
17:31Oh, Monica.
17:33My, that's a lovely dress.
17:35Thanks, but you said that before.
17:37I did?
17:39Well, you know the old saying,
17:40hear a compliment twice, you'll know it's nice.
17:42I never heard that.
17:43Of course you did. I just told it to you.
17:45Excuse me, there's someone I'm dying to meet.
17:46Oh, Kathy, I want you to meet my uncle.
17:48That's who I'm dying to meet.
17:49You just flipped when I told him you were English.
17:52Uncle Howard!
17:55Yes?
17:56This is the girl I was telling you about.
17:58Who's from England.
17:59How do you do?
18:00It's a great pleasure, indeed.
18:01Nice to meet you.
18:03What part of England are you from?
18:05Do you know London very well?
18:07Know it? I spent three years there.
18:09Is that where you live?
18:10No, but it's a great place to visit.
18:13Yes.
18:14What city are you from?
18:16Uh, Wickendham, Griffith-on-Clough.
18:18But we call it Whiff.
18:20Clough?
18:21Whiff?
18:22I don't seem to recall any river by that name.
18:24Oh, well, perhaps that's because it dried up many years ago during the drought.
18:28Drought? In England?
18:30Of course.
18:31That's what caused the potato famine.
18:33Oh, that was in Ireland.
18:34Oh, well, it spread to England during the Middle Ages.
18:38Really?
18:39Of course.
18:40Thus the expression, Middle Age spread.
18:42What?
18:45Excuse me, I promised this dance to someone.
18:52Richard, there's something funny going on around here.
18:56Where? I like a good laugh.
18:58A piece of pizza?
18:59No, thank you.
19:00Hey, Monica, is the, uh, Howard Record Company a big outfit?
19:05It's listed on the stock exchange.
19:07No kidding?
19:08Mm-hmm.
19:09Oh, I just asked because I haven't seen any of their records.
19:11Records?
19:12Michael's in the hot dog business.
19:14Well, I...
19:15Everybody makes that mistake because his name is Howard Record.
19:18Howard Record?
19:20Howard Record!
19:22Holy moly!
19:24Uh, excuse me, Monica, I have to talk to Patty.
19:27What?
19:28I mean, uh, Kathy, about Patty.
19:32Ladies and gentlemen, it's with great pride that we present the debut of our new vocalist,
19:36Miss Kathy Lane.
19:43I've got a neighbor, he's a nice young man
19:45Lives just across the way
19:47And every morning when he goes to work
19:50You can hear him say
19:55Ah, Ennery the Ice, I am
19:57Ennery the Ice, I am, I am
20:00I got married to the widow next door
20:02She's been married seven times before
20:05And everyone was an Ennery
20:07She wasn't double Willie or a Sam
20:09I'm an ice old man, I'm Ennery
20:12Ennery the Ice, I am
20:17Ennery the Ice, I am
20:37Ah, Ennery the Ice, I am
20:39Ennery the Ice, I am, I am
20:42I got married to the widow next door
20:44She's been married seven times before
20:46And everyone was an Ennery
20:48She wasn't double Willie or a Sam
20:50I'm an ice old man, I'm Ennery
20:53Ennery the Ice, I am
20:55H-E-N-N-R-Y
20:58Ennery, Ennery, Ennery
21:01Ennery the Ice, I am, I am
21:03Ennery the Ice, I am
21:12That's Patty, isn't it?
21:14How do you?
21:15Well, I'm going to put her away
21:18You've got your nerve, Patty
21:21Oh, Monica, you're wrong, I'm Kathy
21:23Oh, yeah? So when did you go home and change your dress?
21:26I just had to come and tell you how much I enjoyed that
21:29You're very good
21:30Thank you
21:31Will you please leave?
21:32Will you please flake off?
21:33I'm trying to talk to your uncle
21:35I do have to run along, but before I do
21:37I was wondering, is there any chance you could use us?
21:40We work very cheap
21:42I beg your pardon
21:44Well, the Howard Record Company has always been one of my favorites
21:47And we'd love to work for you
21:49I'm a little confused
21:51Why would you want to work for my company?
21:53Oh, let's face it
21:55Every singer likes to make records
21:57Oh, what?
21:59Records?
22:00You mean you thought...
22:01Patty, let me present my uncle
22:04Mr. Howard Record of the Howard Record Company
22:07He makes hot dogs
22:14Hot dogs?
22:15Oh, the best
22:16Oh, wait till I tell the gang about this
22:18They'll die laughing
22:22Now, wait a minute, Patty
22:24You gotta remember
22:25I will weigh out on a limb for you
22:27Would you do me a favor?
22:28The next time you decide to go out on a limb
22:30Just keep right on going
22:41Let me know what comes up
22:43All right
22:46Oh, good morning, Patty
22:47Morning, Papa
22:48Say, uh, do you have a minute?
22:50I'd like to talk to you
22:51Okay
22:52In here or in the den?
22:54What's the difference?
22:55Oh, I just want to know if it's going to be a long or a short lecture
23:00It isn't going to be a lecture, hon
23:01It's just going to be a chat
23:03Oh
23:04Let's sit down
23:05If it's just a chat, can't I stand up?
23:09Sit down
23:10It's a lecture
23:13All right
23:19Now, in the first place
23:25All right
23:27What I want to say is this
23:29All of us have to learn in life
23:31That...
23:32That we have to conserve our energy
23:34To save it for the things that are really important
23:36Instead of wasting it on every little crisis that comes along
23:40You mean Monica's party?
23:41Yeah, that's exactly what I'm referring to
23:43Now, let's just take a look at what happened to you
23:46All of the pain and the disappointment you went through
23:49In the first place, you tried to organize your own party
23:52And then you spent all of that time rehearsing with the boys
23:55And then you finally went to the party
23:57Even though you didn't have an invitation
23:59And you embarrassed yourself in front of all your friends
24:02Now, what did all of that expenditure of energy lead to?
24:05Not a thing
24:08I hate to contradict you, Papa
24:10But you're wrong
24:12All my energy wasn't wasted
24:14Monica's uncle flipped over me
24:16Well, that's nice, but what of it?
24:18What of it?
24:19Look what he gave me
24:23Howard Record Company
24:25No, the other side
24:27This entitles a bear to a hot dog
24:29At half price at any Howard Record shop
24:36Okay
24:37Okay
25:08And you'll find
25:10They laugh alike, they walk alike
25:12At times they even talk alike
25:14You can lose your mind
25:17When cousins
25:20Are two of a kind