TV-G | 30min | Comedy, Drama, Family, Music, TV Series | Episode aired 20 May 1964
Patty and Cathy reminisce about the time when Cathy came to live with the Lane family.
Director: William Asher
Writers: Sidney Sheldon, William Asher
Stars: Patty Duke, William Schallert, Jean Byron
Patty and Cathy reminisce about the time when Cathy came to live with the Lane family.
Director: William Asher
Writers: Sidney Sheldon, William Asher
Stars: Patty Duke, William Schallert, Jean Byron
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00This is the only room I've ever seen that needs a spring cleaning every week.
00:07So I'm not late.
00:12Hey, I wondered where this picture album was.
00:20What's so funny?
00:22You. This picture was taken a few days after you came here.
00:25I didn't look like that.
00:27Oh, yes you did.
00:29I look so... foreign.
00:31I'll never forget how excited we were when we knew you were going to come to live with us.
00:35I was pretty excited too, Patty.
00:37Being brought up in Europe was fun.
00:39But Father was right.
00:41It was time I got to know about America.
00:43None of us even knew what you looked like.
00:45All I knew was that my glamorous cousin who'd lived all over the world was going to come to stay with us.
00:50Even Richard was pretty excited.
00:52He came over that morning before we went to the airport.
00:54He couldn't wait for you to get here.
00:56Has your cousin Kathy arrived yet?
00:58Her plane's due in an hour. We're leaving for the airport now.
01:00That's a big choice, isn't it? Coming all the way from Scotland to live with you.
01:04Well, I've made my mind up, Patty.
01:06You have?
01:07I've narrowed it down to you and Sue Ellen.
01:10And I've decided to give you my pin.
01:12Oh, Richard.
01:14You can see that everything was under control in that department.
01:17But in the next room, Papa was having his daily war with J.R.
01:21J.R. may be the publisher of the New York Chronicle, but I'm still the managing editor.
01:25Fed up with his changing my editorials.
01:28What?
01:29I know he only changed one word, but the word was don't.
01:33I don't know when I'm coming in.
01:35For two cents, I'd hop a jet for Tahiti and never come back.
01:38Things are improving. Last time it was Alaska we didn't go to.
01:41Oh, it's J.R. again. He's driving me out of my mind.
01:44If I've told him once, I've told him...
01:46It'll be late, Dad.
01:47Let's hurry.
01:48If we're not at the airport to meet Kathy, she might turn around and go back to Europe.
01:52Yeah, we'd better get going.
01:53I wonder what Kathy will be like. I'm nervous. Isn't that silly?
01:56Of course it's silly. She'll be wonderful.
01:59After all, she's my side of the family.
02:01As it turned out, the traffic was terrible.
02:04And we missed the plane.
02:06When we got to the airport, you'd gone.
02:08Naturally, we were worried.
02:10But none of us had any idea that in less than an hour,
02:13our innocent little visitor was going to destroy the whole Lane family.
02:17Single-handed.
02:23Meet Kathy who's lived most everywhere
02:26From Zanzibar to Barclays Square
02:29But Patty's only seen the sights a girl can see from Brooklyn Heights
02:33What a crazy pair
02:35But they're cousins
02:38Identical cousins all the way
02:42One pair of matching bookends
02:45Different as night and day
02:48Where Kathy adores a minuet
02:52The ballet Russe and Crepe Suzette
02:55Oh, Patty loves to rock and roll
02:57A hot dog makes her lose control
02:59What a wild duet
03:01Still they're cousins
03:04Identical cousins and you'll find
03:08They laugh alike, they walk alike
03:10At times they even talk alike
03:12You can lose your mind
03:14When cousins are two of a kind
03:23Mr. Castle, I finally reached his house.
03:26The housekeeper said Mr. Lane left very early this morning for the airport.
03:29Hmm.
03:31Just exactly what did Mr. Lane say when you talked to him this morning?
03:35He said that for two cents he'd get on a jet and never come back.
03:38But he was joking.
03:40I'm not laughing.
03:42Nobody is indispensable around here except me, Miss Gordon.
03:45Lane can be replaced.
03:47He has exactly one hour.
03:49Yes, Mr. Castle.
03:52We got jammed up on the expressway and there's no sign of her here at the airport.
03:56There hasn't been any word from her at all.
03:58No, I haven't seen her either.
04:01Well, she has the address. She'll probably head for the house.
04:04We'll be right home.
04:11Isn't that Mr. Lane's daughter?
04:13It sure is.
04:15Mr. Castle's office.
04:17Oh, am I glad to see you.
04:19Where's your father?
04:21My father's in Glasgow.
04:22He's done it.
04:24Excuse me, but I'm looking for Mr. Martin Lane.
04:28Quit?
04:30Martin Lane wouldn't quit this paper.
04:32He's indispensable and he knows it.
04:35Who said he quit?
04:37His daughter. She's here.
04:38He's in Scotland.
04:40Don't be ridiculous, Miss Gordon.
04:41What would he be doing in Scotland?
04:43Probably sitting on the bonnie banks of Lucklowman fishing.
04:46Very well.
04:47If that's the way he wants it, that's the way he's going to get it.
04:50Clean out his desk and send for Albert Marcus.
04:53I'll have a word with that young lady.
04:58You, you, janitor.
05:00You, janitor.
05:04Take that name off the door right now.
05:07Yes, sir.
05:08And as for you, young lady, you can take a message to your father.
05:11I hope he enjoys living in Scotland.
05:21Isn't Mr. Lane employed here anymore?
05:23No.
05:25Perhaps that's why he couldn't meet me at the airport.
05:29I'll try him at home.
05:35Hello. I'm here.
05:37Well, don't just stand there. Go clean your room. It's a mess.
05:40Folks will be back in a minute.
05:50I'll be back in a minute.
06:16Look at the mess.
06:18The record's just trying to get to the window.
06:22Oh, Lenka.
06:36She's lost. She might have gone to the police.
06:38Maybe she did. I'll call.
06:40Come on, Ross.
06:49When you're through, I'll call the office.
06:51I'll bet they're falling apart down there.
06:53J.R. probably thinks I'm halfway to Tahiti by now.
06:56She's here.
06:58It's her.
07:00It's you.
07:02Hi, Richard. Come on in.
07:04No, thank you.
07:05I just came to give you a message.
07:07I don't know what you're talking about.
07:09I don't know what you're talking about.
07:11I just came to give you a message.
07:13I don't know what you're talking about.
07:15I just came to give you a message.
07:17I just came to give you a message from Sue Ellen.
07:19She says to tell you she is crazy about my pin.
07:24Sue Ellen?
07:26I thought he was going to pin you, dear.
07:28He'll come back when he gets hungry.
07:41The missing persons.
07:47What's cooking?
07:48Mrs. McDonald's weaked out. She's flipped.
07:50She thinks I pin...
08:06Holy moly.
08:08It's me.
08:18By the stone of scone.
08:21It's I.
08:23Kathy.
08:25Oh, Kathy.
08:27Welcome, Kathy.
08:29Oh, you look so much like father.
08:32Martin, look at her. It's amazing.
08:34They look exactly alike.
08:36Gee, I don't know if I can stand two of them.
08:39We've been so worried about you.
08:41We couldn't figure out what happened to you.
08:43Oh, I've had quite a time of it.
08:45First, I couldn't find you at the airport.
08:47And then when I arrived here,
08:49a strange boy popped his head in and kissed me.
08:52Is he yours?
08:53Well, he was.
08:54He's Sue Ellen's now.
08:57I'm so sorry.
08:58Kathy, we're so glad to have you here.
09:00Come and sit down there. You must be tired.
09:02Are you hungry?
09:03We'll make you something to eat.
09:05No, thank you, Uncle Martin.
09:07Tomorrow, I think I'll take you downtown to the office
09:09and show you around.
09:10Oh, I'd like that.
09:12What work are you in?
09:13Well, I'm managing editor of the New York Daily Chronicle.
09:16I mean, what work are you in now?
09:19I'm the managing editor of the New York Daily Chronicle.
09:27I was up there.
09:29They were scraping your name off the door.
09:31Oh, don't be ridiculous. They wouldn't.
09:44New York Daily Chronicle.
09:46Hello. What's the name of your managing editor?
09:49Albert Marcus. Would you like to be connected?
09:59Albert Marcus. He couldn't wait to get rid of me.
10:07I'll never forget that day.
10:09None of us will.
10:10Papa lost his job. I lost Richard.
10:13I felt like a jinx.
10:15I was ready to turn around and go back home.
10:17I'm glad you didn't.
10:19Look at all the excitement we would have missed.
10:21I know.
10:22I guess the first time we realized the possibilities
10:25was when we tried that mirror routine.
10:27Mirror routine?
10:28Oh, yes. That was fun, wasn't it?
10:31Mm-hmm.
10:32We were pretty good, too.
10:34Even had me fooled for a while.
10:36Mind if I teach you?
10:37Okay. Now, when I say go, wait a beat, then go.
10:45And go.
11:06And go.
11:27I'm sorry.
11:32Let's do it again, all right?
11:34Ready? Go.
11:38You goofed again.
11:41Goofed?
11:46Goofed?
11:47Yeah. Messed it up.
11:49You know, snuffled.
11:51Don't you speak any slang?
11:53I'm afraid not.
11:55You know what they say.
11:56Next scary fast is Domnia.
11:58Who says that?
12:00It means it isn't necessary to know all things.
12:03You speak Latin.
12:06The only Latin I know is Paul Anka.
12:11What else do you do?
12:12Do you like to dance?
12:14I like music.
12:16Father and I went to the opera quite often.
12:19As a matter of fact, the night before I left Edinburgh,
12:22we went to see Gianni Schicchi.
12:24Gianni who?
12:26Gianni Schicchi. You know.
12:29Oh, mio bambino caro.
12:34Mi piace bello.
12:39Hold it. You lost me way back on Bambino.
12:43I'll bring him today.
12:44Give me a week and I'll have you rocking the mashed potato.
12:47How is that translated?
12:50You don't know what it means to rock the mashed potato?
12:53Guy, it's like running into somebody from another planet.
12:56I feel as though I am from another planet.
12:59Everything is so different here, Patty.
13:01And so big and fast.
13:03It's a bit frightening.
13:06Do you have any idea what a weapon we have in our hands?
13:09What do you mean?
13:11Separately, we're two girls who have a few talents.
13:14Just like anyone else.
13:15Your brain, I like sports.
13:17You like opera, I like to dance.
13:19But together we're really on a beam.
13:22On the beam?
13:24With it.
13:25We can be in two different places at the same time.
13:28Do you think we could really fool people, Patty?
13:31Let's find out.
13:33How?
13:35Any objections?
13:36Not in the least.
13:41I think I will descend below and inquire how Aunt Natalie and dear Uncle Martin are getting along.
13:52Am I interrupting Aunt Natalie?
13:55Of course not, Kathy.
13:56We were just saying how wonderful your being here is going to be for Patty.
14:01As a matter of fact, she could use a steadying influence.
14:06Patty isn't as mature as you, dear.
14:08She's a bit flighty.
14:11She's a three-wheeled monster.
14:17Perhaps my being here is going to be an imposition on everyone.
14:21Perhaps my being here is going to be an imposition on everyone.
14:25An imposition? We've always wanted another daughter.
14:30You have?
14:31Yes, and now that we have you, our family's complete.
14:35Just don't let Patty rope you into any of her kooky schemes.
14:39Is your room comfortable?
14:43Yes, very.
14:44Because if it isn't, why, we'll get Patty to change with you.
14:47Oh, no, I wouldn't think of it.
14:49Remember, this is your home now.
14:51Sometimes Patty can be a little selfish.
14:53A little selfish?
14:56So if there's anything of hers that you want, you just let us know.
15:01Actually, I just came down to tell you how wonderful everything is.
15:07Excuse me.
15:09I have a feeling they're going to get along just fine.
15:20What happened?
15:21It didn't work.
15:22Now, if you'll kindly keep your mature self out of my selfish way, I'd like to be alone.
15:37Patty?
15:39Patty, did I do something to hurt you?
15:49No, I didn't.
15:50Hi, folks, what's cooking?
16:19Hi.
16:22Must you use that slang, darling?
16:23I wish you'd try to talk a little bit more like Kathy.
16:26How are you two getting along?
16:28Well, she was just down here.
16:31We had a nice talk.
16:33I think it made an impression.
16:36What'd you talk about?
16:38You, mostly.
16:40We want to do everything to make her feel at home here, Patty.
16:43We told her she's as much our daughter as you,
16:45that she can have anything she wants in this house.
16:47Including your room.
16:49We didn't.
16:50Yes, we did.
16:51We want you to be very unselfish.
16:53Your clothes should fit her nicely.
16:56Yeah.
17:00Ross, can I talk to you a second?
17:02Sure.
17:05Ross, can you stand a shock?
17:07Sure, Kathy.
17:11You knew.
17:12Certainly.
17:13Boy, you should have heard me knock.
17:15Certainly.
17:16Boy, you should have heard me needle Patty.
17:18Fella doesn't get a chance like that too often.
17:21She hates me.
17:24I have to prove to her that I'm on her side.
17:26I'd like to help you, but that's one place I've never been.
17:31I don't know what to do.
17:36Yes, I do.
17:37Will you get Richard for me?
17:39Sure.
17:40Oh, Ross, I think I'm under being.
17:59Hi, Richard.
18:00I can only stay a second.
18:02Before you split, there's something I want to say to you.
18:06Sue Ellen's very jealous.
18:07What is it?
18:09This.
18:13I'll get my pin back from Sue Ellen.
18:17Why did you clobber me?
18:20I'll show you.
18:21Yell Patty.
18:22What?
18:23Yell Patty.
18:27Patty.
18:29Louder.
18:32Patty.
18:36Richard.
18:49Holy cow, I've got a harem.
18:51What are you doing here?
18:53You called me.
18:54She called me.
18:55Who called me?
18:56I did.
18:58He's going to get his pin back from Sue Ellen.
19:00Oh, Kathy.
19:02You're Kathy?
19:03Katherine Margaret Rowan Lane of Glasgow.
19:06Boy, are we going to have fun.
19:08Who's we?
19:11How am I going to know who's who?
19:13You'll know.
19:22Do you realize this is the first leisurely breakfast I've had in 15 years?
19:27If I were still a slave to that paper, I'd probably be giving myself ulcers over the morning edition.
19:32Boy, it's really great not to have to go down to the office.
19:36Oh, it is.
19:38You know what I'm going to do?
19:40I think I'll...
19:43Well, maybe I'll...
19:44Have another leisurely breakfast.
19:46Aren't you late for school?
19:48I'm going, I'm going.
19:51What are you girls going to do today?
19:53We're going to dress in identical clothes, fix our hair alike, and go around the neighborhood and put everyone in shock.
19:59I think maybe I'll just wander out and have a look at the morning paper.
20:05I have a feeling this is going to be the shortest retirement on record.
20:16No, no, no, it's flat.
20:19It's flat.
20:20It's flat, flat, flat.
20:23There's no flavor.
20:24There's something missing.
20:26Martin Lane?
20:27That traitor.
20:28He's the best managing editor in the country.
20:31Who said so?
20:32You did.
20:34And what's he doing with his talent?
20:36Fishing his life away in Scotland.
20:39Cable our correspondent in Glasgow right away.
20:41Tell him I want Martin Lane tracked down right now.
20:44Yes, Mr. Castle.
20:51That's game.
20:52Set him up again.
20:54Oh, Dad, do we have to play another game?
20:56Yes.
20:57Mom.
20:58Martin, dear, why don't you call J.R.?
21:00No, sir, I'm having too much fun around here.
21:03Are we going to spend the rest of our lives playing checkers?
21:06Maybe.
21:07It was all a misunderstanding.
21:08J.R. thought you walked out on him and his feelings were hurt.
21:11It wouldn't do any harm just to call and say hello.
21:14Well, I suppose I might do that.
21:16Would you excuse me, son?
21:17Sure.
21:19Sure.
21:25Hi, Mom.
21:26I'll bet you did put the neighborhood in shock, Patty.
21:28How do you know I'm Patty?
21:30Now, cut that out.
21:31We've had enough confusion around here.
21:32Don't worry, Dad.
21:33I can tell them apart.
21:35Can't I, Kathy?
21:36He has amazing perception for a child.
21:40Boy, when I grow six more inches, am I going to get you?
21:43J.R. Castle, please.
21:46Martin Lane.
21:48Just a minute, Mr. Lane.
21:54Yes?
21:55We've got Martin Lane.
21:57Hold him on the line.
22:04We've got Martin Lane in Scotland.
22:09Hello, Martin.
22:11Can you hear me?
22:13Yes, I can hear you fine.
22:15Sorry to disturb you in the middle of the night this way.
22:19How are things over there?
22:24They couldn't be better.
22:26How's everything over there?
22:27They're fine over here, too, just fine.
22:30How long of a vacation are you planning to take?
22:33Vacation?
22:34Now, just a minute.
22:35What about Albert Marcus?
22:37Well, we'll discuss that when you return from Scotland.
22:40How soon can you get back?
22:43He thinks I'm in Scotland.
22:45Well, I don't know, J.R.
22:47Beautiful country over here.
22:49The heather is in season and...
22:54All right, Martin, you can write anything you want,
22:56only just come back.
22:58That's a deal.
22:59I'll be back in time to put out tomorrow's bulldog edition.
23:03Fine, Martin, fine.
23:04Have a good trip.
23:05Goodbye, J.R.
23:07Terrible overseas connection.
23:09He had to yell all the time.
23:12Did you hear that?
23:13He's going to quit messing with my editorials.
23:16Yeah, no more checkers.
23:17And it's all because of you, Kathy.
23:19You're the most exciting thing that's ever happened to this family.
23:22I only told you.
23:24So, everything turned out all right after all.
23:28Papa got his job back, I got Richard back,
23:31and you joined the family.
23:33For a while there, I didn't think I was going to make it.
23:37Do you know what I love about you, cousin?
23:39Yes, Tom Sawyer.
23:41While you've been talking, I've been cleaning the room.
23:47Are you staying in this evening, Patty?
23:50Yeah, Mom.
23:51I'm going to curl up with a good book.
23:55Mom, do you think Kathy's personality has changed since I took her over?
24:00What do you mean since you took her over?
24:03Well, since she's been living here.
24:05I think you've both probably changed a little.
24:07Remember how shy she used to be?
24:09She could never get a date, but I taught her.
24:13She's a lovely girl.
24:15Yeah.
24:17Do you know what she did for me all morning?
24:19Helped me with my homework.
24:21Do you know what she did for me all afternoon?
24:24Cleaned up our room.
24:26And do you know what she's doing for me all evening?
24:28Seeing a movie with my boyfriend, Richard.
24:33Good night, Mom.
25:15Good night, Mom.