TV-G | 30min | Comedy, Drama, Family, Music, TV Series | Episode aired 18 December 1963
Patty and Cathy compete for the attention of a visiting foreign student. The student becomes enamored with Cathy and asks her to marry him.
Director: Stanley Prager
Writers: Sidney Sheldon, William Asher
Stars: Patty Duke, William Schallert, Jean Byron
Patty and Cathy compete for the attention of a visiting foreign student. The student becomes enamored with Cathy and asks her to marry him.
Director: Stanley Prager
Writers: Sidney Sheldon, William Asher
Stars: Patty Duke, William Schallert, Jean Byron
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00I like Manello better.
00:07Patty, I saw him first. He's mine.
00:13Oh, he's not, Patty. He followed me home.
00:15Well, you can't keep him.
00:17See, why not? He doesn't belong to you.
00:19He doesn't belong to you either.
00:20Finders keepers.
00:22Oh, Natalie, Patty's trying to take away...
00:24That's not true, Mom. I brought home the cutest...
00:26Just a minute, both of you.
00:28There will be no more pets in this house.
00:30No exceptions. Where is he?
00:33I left him in the living room.
00:34You mean I left him in the living room.
00:36He came home with me.
00:37Well, he's going out with you.
00:40There he is.
00:48Meet Kathy, who's lived most everywhere.
00:51From Zanzibar to Barkley Square.
00:54But Patty's only seen the sights...
00:56A girl can see from Brooklyn Heights.
00:58What a crazy pair.
01:00But they're cousins.
01:03Identical cousins all the way.
01:07One pair of matching bookends.
01:10Different as night and day.
01:13Where Kathy adores a minuet.
01:16The Ballet Russe and Crepe Suzette.
01:19Our Patty loves to rock and roll.
01:21A hot dog makes her lose control.
01:23What a wild duet.
01:25Still they're cousins.
01:28Identical cousins and you'll find.
01:32They laugh alike.
01:33They walk alike.
01:34At times they even talk alike.
01:36You can lose your mind.
01:38When cousins are two of a kind.
01:49I'm very happy to meet you, Mister...
01:51Call me.
01:52Please call me Cal.
01:54Cal is from Bukhanistan.
01:56Near India.
01:57Well, you are very welcome here.
02:01You are most gracious.
02:03This is the first home I have ever been in.
02:06Oh, you mean in America.
02:08I mean ever.
02:10Back home, don't you live with your parents?
02:12I am an orphan.
02:14I live with my uncle.
02:15It must be wonderful to have this kind of privacy.
02:18At home, 50 of us live under one roof.
02:2050?
02:21Sometimes more.
02:23My country is a very poor one.
02:25I came over here to learn things so that I can help my people when I return.
02:29That's beautiful.
02:30Cal is here to learn American know-how.
02:33That's one of our best exports.
02:35How do you like America so far?
02:37Very, very much.
02:39The people are so warm.
02:42I see.
02:44Oh, that must be the cleaner.
02:47This is the first money I have ever handled.
02:50You mean the first American money.
02:52The first money ever.
02:54I mean, we are not allowed to handle money.
02:57Excuse me.
03:01How did you make out in your exams yesterday?
03:04I did well in some subjects.
03:06In others, I, what do you say, goofed.
03:09We have a lot in common.
03:12I'm terrible in school.
03:13The most difficult subject for me is American history.
03:16We are having a test on Friday.
03:18I was hoping perhaps we could stuff together.
03:21Stuff together?
03:23You know, squeeze.
03:25Oh, you mean cramp.
03:27Oh, that's it, cramp.
03:29I'll help you, Cal.
03:30Who's going to help you?
03:32I know more about American history than she does.
03:34She's been brought up in Europe.
03:36I've had the advantage of living in Brooklyn Heights all my life.
03:39Would you like to stay and have dinner with us, Cal?
03:42Please do.
03:43I make very good potato pancakes.
03:45I would enjoy that very much.
03:47But unfortunately, tonight I cannot.
03:49I must be with my uncle.
03:51Then come another night.
03:52You come as often as you like.
03:54I'll see you to the door.
03:55I'll walk you home.
04:01It's about time.
04:02Where did you walk him to, Buchanestan?
04:05Cousin dear, this is a free country.
04:07As one of our great American presidents said,
04:09if you can't stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen.
04:12It's my kitchen.
04:13Cal came here today to see me.
04:15Then why did he walk home with me?
04:16Because you threw yourself at him.
04:18Maybe I did, but he caught me.
04:21I'm doing you a favor.
04:22Cal's not your type.
04:24And exactly what type is he?
04:26Well, he's dark and dreamy looking.
04:30That's my type.
04:32He needs someone who can teach him American customs.
04:35That's me.
04:36I'm as American as apple pie.
04:38Oh, and what am I?
04:40A wet crumpet.
04:46You should have heard him, Martin.
04:47He's never had any money in his life.
04:49He lives in a place with 50 people,
04:51and yet he doesn't feel one bit sorry for himself.
04:54All he kept talking about was going back to his country
04:56and helping his people.
04:58Sounds like quite a boy.
04:59He is.
05:00He's beautiful.
05:02And very serious minded.
05:05He came to this country to learn American customs.
05:09And which one of you two is helping him to learn?
05:12I am.
05:15Oh.
05:17Oh, don't look at me.
05:18I'm just the referee.
05:20Is this what they mean by the eternal triangle?
05:23I'll have to meet this boy.
05:24I didn't think the two of you were attracted to the same type.
05:27A dreamboat is a dreamboat in any language.
05:30I'd like to help him if we could.
05:32He lives with an uncle, and he didn't say much,
05:35but I get the feeling that the uncle is pretty strict with him.
05:38Well, if he has a financial problem,
05:40I might be able to get him a job on the paper after school.
05:43Could you, Uncle Martin?
05:44We'd appreciate that.
05:46Who's we?
05:48Calamir and I.
05:50I'll check and see if we have an opening for a coffee boy.
05:54I could make him a loan.
05:56He couldn't afford your rates.
05:58You know something?
05:59I hope Kathy gets him.
06:01That's a terrible thing to say to your own sister.
06:04It's a silly thing to say.
06:05Why, it isn't as though Kathy and Patty are competing for him.
06:09No, of course not.
06:10No, of course not.
06:17Now, next question.
06:19The Louisiana Purchase was made in?
06:211803, December 20th.
06:24Very good.
06:25Next.
06:26Who followed President Arthur?
06:29Mrs. Arthur.
06:31But I hadn't in mind it was President Cleveland.
06:33I know.
06:34Grover.
06:35Could we stop a while, Katherine?
06:37I'm sorry.
06:39I have been pushing you pretty hard.
06:41I got carried away.
06:42You are a wonderful teacher.
06:44You're easy to teach.
06:48There is so much to learn.
06:50So much to do.
06:51You can do anything you want to.
06:53You make me believe it.
06:55It's true.
06:56All you need is a dream.
06:58And you have one.
07:00What is your dream, Katherine?
07:03To make a chocolate souffle that won't fall.
07:05No, tell me.
07:11I...
07:13I'm full of dreams.
07:15I'd like to be a teacher.
07:17Or a nurse.
07:19Or a scientist.
07:21And invent something to help humanity.
07:23When I was a little girl,
07:25I used to dream of doing some great deed
07:27and having a city named after me.
07:30Katherineville.
07:32It has a nice sound.
07:34My uncle would like you.
07:36Last night I told him about you.
07:38What did you tell him?
07:40It does not matter.
07:42I brought you a gift.
07:46Cal, you must never do that.
07:48But why?
07:50Is that not the custom in your country?
07:52That isn't the point.
07:54You mustn't ever spend any of your money on me.
07:57I did not spend any money on it.
07:59I had it.
08:01And I wanted very much for you to have it.
08:03Please.
08:05Open it.
08:17It's beautiful.
08:19Do you really like it?
08:21Very much.
08:23To make a lovely paperweight.
08:25Paperweight?
08:27It is yours to do with as you wish.
08:30There you are.
08:32Well, sorry I'm late.
08:34Now we can all sit down and do our homework together.
08:36Let's see, here we go now.
08:38Who followed President Arthur?
08:41Mrs. Arthur?
08:46That's pretty. Where'd it come from?
08:48Cal brought it.
08:50That looks like a real emerald.
08:52Except that if it were, it'd be worth about $100,000.
08:55Well, it can't be worth $100,000.
08:57I just got him a job as a copy boy on the Chronicle.
09:00That's wonderful.
09:02Oh, Natalie.
09:06Unless I'm crazy, this real emerald is a real emerald.
09:09That's impossible.
09:11What'd you say this boy's name was?
09:13Cal Mere Prakashamand.
09:15Cal...
09:17Oh, no.
09:19Have you heard of him?
09:20Heard of him?
09:21My new copy boy is the Crown Prince of Buchanestan.
09:26Cal, he couldn't be.
09:28Why not?
09:29Because he had lunch here and I used my old silver.
09:32He said he was poor.
09:34He said he lived in a place with 50...
09:37servants.
09:38And he never handled money because...
09:40He had an equerry to take care of little details like that.
09:43His uncle is General Sirica, the United Nations delegate from Buchanestan.
09:46I did an interview with him last week.
09:48Whose uncle is General Sirica?
09:50Your friend Cal.
09:52He's the Crown Prince of Buchanestan.
09:55What?
09:57Holy moly.
09:59My Cal is a Crown Prince?
10:02I don't know whose Cal he is, but he's a prince all right.
10:06Oh, I'll get that.
10:08Guard it with your life.
10:12He never told me.
10:15He wanted me to treat him like just an ordinary boy.
10:18It's the most romantic thing I've ever heard.
10:21General Sirica.
10:23Mr. Lane.
10:24I'm very sorry to intrude without notice.
10:27But the matter is urgent.
10:29Yes, well I know why you're here, General.
10:31And I assure you they had no idea the emerald was genuine.
10:34Emerald?
10:35It's right in here.
10:37General Sirica, may I present Mrs. Lane, my daughter Patty.
10:41I'm very happy to meet you, General.
10:43Your nephew has spoken of you.
10:45I have come on behalf of His Highness,
10:48the Crown Prince of Buchanestan,
10:50to bring a proposal of marriage.
10:53Oh, Mom.
10:54To your niece, Catherine.
10:57Cathy?
10:59Are you sure you got the message right?
11:01I'm Patty.
11:02Both our names end in Y.
11:03It's very easy to make a mistake.
11:05There is no mistake.
11:06I'll get Cathy.
11:07Don't anybody dare say a word until I get back.
11:10I don't know what to say, General.
11:13This comes as something of a shock.
11:15I'll say.
11:16His Highness is very impulsive.
11:19But once his mind is made up, he does not change it.
11:22If your niece will have herself in readiness at noon tomorrow,
11:26a limousine will pick her up and bring her to the embassy
11:29where the marriage contract will be signed.
11:32Will that be convenient?
11:34I'm afraid not.
11:36Will that be convenient?
11:38I'm afraid not.
11:40Another time would be more convenient?
11:43Yes, about five years from now.
11:45General Sirica, Cathy is 16 years old.
11:49I have pointed that out to His Highness.
11:51He said he has nothing against older women.
11:55Older?
11:56In our country, the brides are usually younger.
12:03Your Highness.
12:05Cathy, this is General Sirica.
12:07Another general has come here.
12:09I know.
12:10Aunt Natalie told me.
12:12Talmer sent you.
12:14His Royal Highness has asked me to convey to you
12:17his deep feelings for you
12:19and assurances that he will do everything in his power
12:22to see to your future happiness.
12:24He said that?
12:25This is all very flattering
12:27and we certainly appreciate the honor, General.
12:29But your niece will be given a dowry of one million pounds.
12:33She will have her own staff of servants.
12:35Motor cars, a summer palace and a winter palace.
12:39A summer palace and a winter palace?
12:42General, I'm afraid...
12:43The marriage ceremony will take place in Bukhanistan in ten days.
12:48No, it won't.
12:49Now, please tell the prince there is not going to be any ceremony.
12:53General Sirica, you must realize that American customs are a little different.
12:57But surely these customs are the same all over the world.
13:01Not in this case.
13:02His Royal Highness has picked the wrong girl.
13:04I mean, Cathy is not even out of high school yet.
13:07Surely you don't believe that she's going to leave her home
13:09and travel halfway around the world
13:11to live in a foreign country with the crown prince.
13:13Well, tell him, Cathy.
13:16Yes.
13:24Martin, we've got to find a way to stop this.
13:27We're going to.
13:28But not by forbidding them to see one another.
13:30We've got to be very careful that Cathy doesn't get hurt.
13:33We can't afford to offend Calamir.
13:35I mean, he's the head of a country, remember.
13:37How could I forget it?
13:39Why couldn't they have brought a cat home?
13:42What?
13:43Nothing.
13:44Hadn't we better send Kenneth a cable?
13:46And say what?
13:47Congratulations, you're going to be a father-in-law?
13:50Now, don't worry, Natalie.
13:51Believe me, Cathy will not go through with this.
13:53She's far too sensible.
13:55You mean she's too sensible to turn down a handsome young prince whom she loves,
13:59a million pounds, a summer palace, a winter palace?
14:02Wait a minute. Whose side are you on?
14:04There's a lot to be said for the other side, Martin.
14:06And besides, Cathy loves Cal.
14:09How does she know who she loves? She's only 16.
14:11I married you when I was 17.
14:14Well, that was different.
14:16I mean, Cathy is attracted by the glamour,
14:18the fantasy of being a princess and ruling a country.
14:21It's storybook stuff.
14:23It does sound glamorous, doesn't it?
14:25Well, it's not going to sound so glamorous after I finish talking to her.
14:28I'm going to point out a few of the grim realities.
14:30She's going to be living in an underdeveloped country
14:33where there's a very high rate of poverty and living conditions are appalling.
14:37Don't worry. I'll knock that romantic little dream out of her.
14:42Oh, hello, Cass.
14:43Hello, Uncle Martin. You're home early.
14:46Yes, he has a lecture to give.
14:48I've had the most wonderful time.
14:50I've been out shopping with Calamir.
14:52Oh, what did you buy? Matching elephants?
14:55In the dirt.
14:57Now, Cathy, sit down.
15:01Your Aunt Natalie and I want to talk to you.
15:04Now, Cathy, you're only 16 years old.
15:07You just can't get married and go running off to live in a country
15:10halfway around the world.
15:12I agree.
15:13You do?
15:15I told you there was nothing to worry about.
15:18I talked to Cal and his uncle about it.
15:20I'm going to sign the marriage contract now,
15:22but I have to stay here and finish school.
15:24I won't go to Bukhanistan until I'm 18.
15:28Look at these books and maps Cal bought me.
15:31I want to learn everything there is to know about Bukhanistan
15:33before I go over there.
15:35Well, I think I can help you.
15:37I'd like to give you a few facts about Bukhanistan.
15:40Wonderful.
15:42Cal has already told me quite a bit about it.
15:44Did you know that its per capita income is one of the lowest in the world?
15:48The poverty and disease over there are incredible.
15:51And do you know what it's due to?
15:53No.
15:54Ignorance.
15:56They need schools, hospitals, roads.
15:59Cal and I have been talking about an irrigation project.
16:01If it works, it could turn a whole desert into farmland.
16:05Look.
16:07We could raise the per capita income 17% in the first two years.
16:11Isn't that exciting?
16:14She asked you if that isn't exciting.
16:17Oh, yes. Yes, very.
16:20Where's the money coming from?
16:22Part of it is coming from me.
16:24You mean you're going to irrigate a whole desert on $5 a week?
16:27Cal is going to sell that emerald he gave me.
16:30At first he hated the idea.
16:32It's been in his family for hundreds of years.
16:35But I convinced him that unless it's put to use,
16:38it's just a worthless stone.
16:40It could feed a thousand families for three years.
16:43Isn't it incredible?
16:45No one ever thought of it that way before.
16:48Here, excuse me.
16:50I want to get some charts ready.
16:52Cal Murrah's coming over.
16:58Well, you sure talked her out of her romantic little dream.
17:02What are we going to do now?
17:04Cable Kenny's going to be a father-in-law.
17:11Come in.
17:17What did you knock for?
17:19It's your room, too.
17:22I didn't want to disturb you
17:24if you were working on affairs of state or anything.
17:27What?
17:28If you want me to, I'll move into Ross' room
17:30and he can sleep on the couch.
17:32Don't you want to share this room with me anymore?
17:35Sure, but...
17:37Well, when you move into the palace,
17:39I don't want you to have to tell him
17:41the last place you lived you had to share a room and bath.
17:44What are you standing at attention for?
17:46Sit down.
17:50When do you sign the marriage contract?
17:52Friday.
17:54Gee, only three more days as a civilian.
17:59What do I call you, princess or your highness?
18:03Is that what's worrying you?
18:05Patty, I love you.
18:08You call me Kathy, you silly idiot.
18:11Or better yet, Kath.
18:13You mean it?
18:14Certainly.
18:15I'm the good princess.
18:17Can I come and visit you at the palace?
18:19You'd better.
18:20I'll be dying of homesickness.
18:22No, you won't.
18:24You'll be too busy ruling everything.
18:26You'll have a suite of your own
18:28and you can stay as long as you like.
18:32Count doesn't have any brothers, does he?
18:35He has seven.
18:36Seven?
18:38Bingo!
18:41Anybody home at the palace?
18:43Just us lady girls.
18:46Is Cal here?
18:48He stopped by to drop off a gift.
18:50You know, we have to find some way
18:52to make him stop giving these expensive gifts.
18:54I suppose so.
18:56Look.
19:05The formal signing of the marriage contract
19:07will take place at our embassy tomorrow.
19:09As a courtesy, however,
19:11we thought you would like to look up
19:13the various conditions now.
19:15Let me say it again, General.
19:17Cathy is a minor.
19:18Nothing she signs now will be binding.
19:20We understand that, Mr. Lane.
19:22It is really a pre-marital agreement.
19:25We would like to get this done now
19:27because my nephew must return home next week.
19:31When Catherine reaches her 18th birthday,
19:34it will become binding.
19:36Unless Cathy changes her mind.
19:38I won't.
19:39I will see to that.
19:41Now, as to the terms,
19:44it is traditional for the bride
19:47to bring to the royal family
19:4910 water buffalo.
19:51Where am I going to find water buffalo
19:53in New York City?
19:5450 camels.
19:55I might be able to find one at the zoo,
19:57but 50 camels?
19:59And the matter of money,
20:01the bride pays a dowry
20:03of all her worldly possessions
20:05to show her dependence upon her husband.
20:08How much money do you have?
20:10$7.25.
20:13$7.25.
20:16If you can wait until Monday,
20:17I'll have another $5.
20:19It will do.
20:20I think this covers the main points,
20:23but there are always these little difficulties
20:26with the first wife.
20:31The first wife?
20:33Yes.
20:34The dowry changes in future marriages.
20:37Future marriages?
20:40What future marriages are those, General?
20:43It is a small point.
20:45In our country,
20:47a man may have as many wives as he can afford.
20:50My father had 15.
20:54Do you mean
20:56you want me to be your first wife?
20:59Of course.
21:02And that you will marry
21:04other women after me?
21:07Not right away.
21:09Not right away?
21:11This is the most outraged...
21:18Why didn't you tell me this before?
21:21Well, I just took it for granted.
21:23You knew.
21:24It is the way of our people.
21:27That's not my way.
21:30When I get married,
21:32it's going to be for keeps.
21:34For keeps?
21:37To one man.
21:39With one wife.
21:41Me.
21:42It is nothing to get excited over.
21:45Different countries.
21:47Different customs.
21:49You will get used to this.
21:51I don't intend to try.
21:54You don't mean you're refusing to marry me?
21:58You better find a girl when you get back home.
22:01In America,
22:03girls like it our way better.
22:06One to a customer.
22:08This is such a little thing.
22:11I do not understand.
22:13I will explain it to you in the limousine.
22:16I'm afraid there is nothing more to talk about.
22:19Just to say goodbye.
22:23Catherine, perhaps if we discussed this,
22:26you would change your mind.
22:28No.
22:31Good luck with your geisha project.
22:41Goodbye, Catherine.
22:49I'm so sorry, Cathy.
22:53Are you very upset?
22:56No.
22:58Just a little numb.
23:02Do you know?
23:04I was almost a princess.
23:13So where's Cat?
23:14She's getting dressed. She'll be right down.
23:16Oh.
23:17Patty, has she said anything to you about, you know...
23:20Calamir?
23:21Mm-hmm.
23:22No.
23:23The first few weeks were pretty rough, but...
23:25I think she's all right now.
23:27I'm not.
23:28I could have been living in a palace.
23:32She doesn't talk about it much.
23:34She hasn't been going out at all.
23:36Can't you get her interested in something?
23:38Or somebody?
23:39I try.
23:40She just likes to be by herself.
23:43Well, maybe you could try just a little harder, huh?
23:45Sure.
23:46Good morning.
23:47Hello, dear.
23:48Hi, Cat.
23:50Well, what do you girls have planned for tonight?
23:53Richard and I are going bowling.
23:55Would you like to join us, Cat?
23:57Thank you, Patty.
23:58I think I'll stay in and write some letters.
24:01Why don't you go, Cathy?
24:03You haven't been out one night in the last six weeks.
24:07I guess I'm just not ready yet.
24:10Try to forget him.
24:13I will.
24:15I know it's ridiculous.
24:17By now, he's certainly forgotten all about me.
24:25Cassie?
24:28It's from Afghanistan.
24:31What is it?
24:33Look at the postmark.
24:38It's from Catherineville.
24:58Here's Cathy who's lived most everywhere
25:02From Zanzibar to Barclays Square
25:05But Patty's only seen the sights
25:07A girl can see from Brooklyn Heights
25:09What a crazy pair
25:11But they're cousins
25:14Identical cousins
25:16And you'll find
25:18They laugh alike
25:19They walk alike
25:20At times they even talk alike
25:22You can lose your mind
25:24When cousins
25:26Are two of a kind