ネタパレ2025年3月22日 1分で笑えるネタ17連発！ナイツ・テツandトモ珠玉ネタも！
#EnglishMovie #cdrama #drama #engsub #chinesedramaengsub #movieshortfull
#EnglishMovie #cdrama #drama #engsub #chinesedramaengsub #movieshortfull
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TVTranscript
00:00You
00:30Ji ji ji ka chi
00:32Po ran po!
00:34Po ran po!
00:36I told you
00:38Oi!
00:40Eh!
00:42I'm not that bad!
00:44Tonight's Metapareba
00:46The first laughable joke
00:4817 times!
00:50Also
00:52Tetsu and Tomo and Naitsu
00:54will show off their jokes!
00:56First,
00:58we have a veteran comedian!
01:00I was surprised!
01:02My ears got bigger!
01:04Thank you very much!
01:06From now on,
01:08the audience will be given
01:10a number and a trump card.
01:12Each card will be turned over.
01:14Who wants to help?
01:16Ah, okay. Sorry.
01:18Any number and a trump card.
01:20Anything.
01:22A heart.
01:24Seven.
01:26What?
01:28A heart.
01:30What?
01:32Three.
01:34I don't want to go to three.
01:36A heart and a seven.
01:38A heart and a seven.
01:40I understand.
01:42Is that okay?
01:44If you spread the trump,
01:46a card will be turned over.
01:48Look.
01:50There's one.
01:52I have a bad feeling about this.
01:54A heart and a seven.
01:56That's it.
01:58The last trick was a big success.
02:02You want to see it, right?
02:04If it's a heart and a seven,
02:06it's the last one.
02:08Let's get excited!
02:12I'm going to give you a riddle.
02:14Mr. Nanbara,
02:16can I ask you a question?
02:18A check.
02:20A check and
02:22a wooden bowl for drinking.
02:24A check.
02:26A check.
02:28A check.
02:30A check.
02:32A check.
02:34Now, I'm going to ask you a question.
02:36Let's go.
02:38A check.
02:40Okay, let's go.
02:42A check and
02:44a coffee with a lot of sugar.
02:46A check.
02:48A check.
02:50A check.
02:52A check.
02:56Okay.
02:58Are you ready, Mr. Jinie?
03:00He's impressed by the way I'm asking.
03:04Okay, I'm going to ask you a riddle.
03:06A riddle?
03:08Okay,
03:10here.
03:12A riddle and hypnosis.
03:14Let's go.
03:16A riddle.
03:18and pull out your heart.
03:20Wow!
03:22Amazing!
03:24Next up is
03:26the battle between three entertainers!
03:28I will deliver
03:30a soothing sound.
03:32In the magnificent nature
03:34of Scotland,
03:36a bottle of
03:38pure Scotch whisky
03:40has been aged,
03:42and the sound is finally opened.
03:49Here it is.
03:54Here it is.
03:58Shhh!
04:08I have brought
04:10this.
04:12It's a blower.
04:14I will use the blower
04:16to blow the whisky.
04:18Music, start!
04:20Thank you!
04:26I see.
04:34Can you do it?
04:42I want you to see
04:44my serious face.
04:46Can you do it?
04:50The audience
04:52can't see my serious face,
04:54but they can enjoy it.
04:56That's true.
04:58The last one!
05:00There was a man
05:02who was driving a drift car.
05:04Why?
05:08I did it!
05:10The man kept silent.
05:12The man kept silent.
05:14I did it!
05:20That's all!
05:22Cool, cool, cool!
05:24Thank you!
05:28Next up is
05:30the one-minute story of
05:32children's popularity.
05:34I will tell you
05:36how to memorize difficult kanji.
05:38First of all,
05:40if you break up the kanji
05:42and add the rhythm,
05:44you will be able to memorize it.
05:46Here it is.
05:54You can memorize it.
05:56Let's move on.
05:58This is also difficult,
06:00but you can easily memorize it.
06:02Here is how to memorize it.
06:04I did it!
06:08I did it!
06:10Next up is
06:12the one-minute story of
06:14children's popularity.
06:16Here is how to memorize it.
06:18I did it!
06:20There are four.
06:22Let's move on to the opposite pattern.
06:26This is how to memorize
06:28difficult kanji.
06:30Let's do it.
06:34How was it?
06:36Here we go.
06:40Translation.
06:42Translation.
06:44I am the hero of Five Cap's justice.
06:46My name is...
06:48I can't hear you.
06:50I can't hear you at all.
06:52I am White Ackerman.
06:54Nice to meet you.
06:56Let's move on.
06:58Let's go home.
07:00I am home.
07:02You like whistling, don't you?
07:04I don't need it anymore.
07:06It's easy to divide
07:08late and early.
07:10If you say you are late,
07:12you will be divided into
07:14this block.
07:16At this time,
07:18everyone thinks
07:20apologizing is important, right?
07:22No, it's this one.
07:24Beginners of being late
07:26often do this.
07:28You will be told
07:30when you will arrive in 15 minutes.
07:32Humans are cool,
07:34so they go early.
07:36This is the most dangerous.
07:38If you arrive in 15 minutes,
07:40you will be double late.
07:42You will lose your credibility.
07:44The most important thing here is
07:46to say
07:4830 minutes late.
07:50This is important.
07:52You need courage.
07:54If you say 30 minutes late,
07:56you will lose credibility.
07:58If you say
08:00I am sorry,
08:02you will be told
08:04you arrived at 9.30.
08:06You will be told
08:08you worked hard.
08:10You will be praised
08:12because you came early
08:14even though you are late.
08:26I am learning gyaru language.
08:28You are studying.
08:30I want to learn gyaru language
08:32so that I can meet gyaru.
08:34No, I want to go beyond.
08:36You want to go beyond.
08:38You don't say gyaru-san.
08:40I say gyaru-san.
08:42In my head,
08:44I want to say
08:46gyaru-san
08:48when I am told
08:50something like this.
08:52For example,
08:54when I am told
08:56I didn't sleep well today.
08:58You must have heard of it.
09:00When I am told
09:02I always sleep well.
09:04When I am told
09:06I always sleep well.
09:08The level is different.
09:10When I am told
09:12I didn't sleep well today.
09:14When I am told
09:16I always sleep well.
09:18Wait a minute.
09:20What do you mean?
09:22The skin is very rough.
09:24The skin is very rough.
09:26The skin is very rough.
09:28And your face
09:30is very rough.
09:32What do you mean?
09:34There is a competition
09:36for kimono.
09:38We call it
09:40this instrument.
09:42This is called
09:44kotsuzumi.
09:46When someone suppose
09:48to play the instrument
09:50Yoy, I'm not the one that got a new car.
09:55Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
10:00And if I then get a little off the road,
10:05I will not take a life as it is.
10:09I want my life to be the great life.
10:13And I need to get out of the car and
10:15get the hell out of here.
10:17What's wrong with you guys?
10:19Is that a cat?
10:21It's not a cat.
10:23It's not a cat.
10:25Then why is it meowing?
10:27It's a meowing of a parrot.
10:29A meowing of a parrot?
10:31What do you mean?
10:33It's a meowing of a bear.
10:35It's a meowing of a fist.
10:37Is that so?
10:39It's a meowing of a cheetah.
10:41It's a meowing of a cheetah.
10:44I like history.
10:46History?
10:48I'd like to teach you a history lesson.
10:50A history lesson?
10:52I remember the words, but I don't remember the meaning.
10:57That's true.
10:59I'd like to teach you from the beginning.
11:01The first one.
11:03Tōkai Dōchū Hizakurige.
11:06Tōkai Dōchū Hizakurige.
11:08I've heard of it, but I don't remember the meaning.
11:11Tōkai Dōchū Hizakurige is...
11:15processed pork.
11:17Processed pork?
11:19Crush it with a wooden stick.
11:22Crush it?
11:24What are you talking about?
11:26When you climb a mountain,
11:28don't get lost on the road.
11:30Put it on the ground and mark it.
11:34This is Tōkai Dōchū Hizakurige.
11:38Crushed bacon?
11:44I'm tired.
11:46I'd like to relax at a hotel in the mountains.
11:48I see.
11:50I think it's better to refresh at a hotel in the mountains.
11:52That's what you said.
11:54I'd like to go to a hotel in the mountains.
11:56Be careful.
11:58If you stay at a hotel in the mountains, you won't get tired at all.
12:00It's okay.
12:02Hello.
12:04Hello.
12:07I see.
12:09I'll give you a brief explanation of this hotel.
12:11Please make it normal.
12:13Please raise your hand if you don't understand.
12:14First of all, it's a bath.
12:15There's a flood above and a fire under it.
12:17It's a riddle.
12:18Yes, it's a riddle.
12:19Please explain the bathhouse.
12:21It's a bathhouse.
12:22You can't enter the bathhouse if you have a tattoo.
12:25I don't think there are any people who can't sing Russian tattoos.
12:29What were you doing?
12:31I was singing a nursery rhyme.
12:32Oh, that's nostalgic.
12:35Isn't it a little early?
12:37You can sing anything you want.
12:39Let's match the season.
12:51Oh, the season has changed.
12:53Is the title of the song KAMI HANKI?
12:57You're amazing.
13:00I'm going to sing a nursery rhyme.
13:03Sounds good.
13:04Can I practice here?
13:06It's good to practice in front of people.
13:08Let's practice together.
13:09Let's go.
13:14That's good.
13:16I'm glad I practiced.
13:19It's disgusting.
13:21Listen to me.
13:27Listen to me.
13:33It's not touch.
13:36It's not touch.
13:39It's a nursery rhyme.
13:44That's right.
14:01Perfect.
14:03That's right.
14:08Do you know Yahoo! Knowledge Bag?
14:10Do you know?
14:11Simply put, it's a Yahoo! app that asks stupid questions and stupid people answer.
14:15You wrote bad things about us there.
14:17There are a lot of bad things.
14:18I'll print it out and bring it to you today.
14:21I'll read it as it is.
14:23I'll read it.
14:25Question. I love machine guns, what do you think?
14:29What are you talking about?
14:31It's not a question you can ask through Yahoo!
14:33The answer is the second half.
14:35I totally agree with the best answer.
14:37Shut up!
14:39Where are you getting along?
14:41You're a weird friend.
14:42This is also amazing.
14:44Question. Are machine guns interesting?
14:47I've seen them all, but they weren't all interesting.
14:49You've seen them all!
14:51You've seen them all, you idiot!
14:53I've seen them more than my parents.
14:54I'm a fan of yours.
14:55Announcement, announcement, comic.
14:58Komato Naitsu's self-introduction comic.
15:04Why? Why? Why?
15:08You get along with people right away.
15:10You get along with people right away.
15:12You get along with people right away.
15:14He's a veteran entertainer who loves both adults and children.
15:19Here he is.
15:20Why? Why? Why?
15:25He's awesome!
15:28He's awesome!
15:30He's got a lot of energy.
15:32He's energetic.
15:34He's energetic!
15:35He's energetic!
15:37Why?
15:45Why?
15:47Why is it? Why is it? Why is it?
15:51Please listen to this song.
15:53Why is it?
15:57This year,
15:59Bling bang bang bong is popular.
16:01But I can't dance like this.
16:03I'm not good at it.
16:05I can't dance well.
16:07Why is it?
16:09I'll dance.
16:11Can you dance?
16:13Bling bang bang bong
16:15I can't dance like this.
16:17Isn't it difficult?
16:19My father
16:21fell asleep with the TV on.
16:23My father
16:25will turn off the TV.
16:27I want to see it.
16:29Why does my father
16:31turn off the TV?
16:33My father
16:35is watching the new Neta Parade.
16:37Please watch it every week.
16:39Why is it?
16:41Please raise your hands.
16:43Raise your arms.
16:45Let's sing together.
16:47The kelp
16:49doesn't come out
16:51in the sea.
16:53Why is it?
16:55Nice kelp.
16:59Nice kelp.
17:03When we were
17:05walking outside,
17:07someone said
17:09why is it?
17:11Why is it?
17:13It doesn't matter.
17:15But
17:17my chin is long.
17:21Now, it's evening.
17:23It's Saturday evening.
17:25We present you
17:27Neta Parade.
17:29When I see this,
17:31I want to put it on my chin.
17:33Why is it?
17:35Why is it?
17:37Let's focus.
17:39I can't drop it.
17:41Will it come out?
17:45Yes!
17:51Congratulations!
17:53Why is it?
17:55Why is it?
17:57Why is it?
17:59Why is it?
18:01Why is it?
18:03Why is it?
18:05Why is it?
18:07Why is it?
18:09Why is it?
18:11Why is it?
18:13Why is it?
18:17It's coming out.
18:19Congratulations!
18:27Why is it?
18:29Why is it?
18:31Why is it?
18:33Why is it?
18:35Why is it?
18:37Why is it?
18:39Why is it?
18:41Together.
18:43Why is it?
18:45Congratulations!
18:53Why is it?
18:55Why is it?
18:57Why is it?
19:01Why is it?
19:03Why is it?
19:05Why is it?
19:07Why is it?
19:09Why is it?
19:11Why is it?
19:13Thank you very much.
19:19More than 100 performances per year.
19:21Nights self-introduction manzai.
19:31Nice to meet you.
19:33Nice to meet you.
19:35Let me introduce myself.
19:37I'm Hanawa from Nights.
19:39I'm Hanawa.
19:43I'm Tsuchiya.
19:45Don't you remember?
19:47Don't look at the screen.
19:49Both of you have the same name.
19:51Yes.
19:53Hanawa Nobuyuki, Tsuchiya Nobuyuki.
19:55It's rare.
19:57We happen to have the same name.
19:59We happen to have the same name.
20:01Intonation is strange.
20:03We happen to have the same name.
20:05We were born in 1978.
20:07We turned 46 this year.
20:09We were born in 1967.
20:11It's Showa.
20:13Showa 53.
20:15What happened in the year of Showa 53?
20:17Yahoo!
20:19It's not Yahoo!
20:21It's the year Candies disbanded.
20:23Candies.
20:25There was a legendary idol group.
20:27It was April 4th, Showa 53.
20:29My birthday is March 27th, Showa 53.
20:31My birthday is March 27th, Showa 53.
20:33It's close.
20:35I remember it somehow.
20:37It's amazing.
20:39You have a good memory.
20:41There were three members.
20:43Ran-chan, Yama-chan, Shizu-chan.
20:45It's completely different.
20:47There was another Candy in the second half.
20:49Yama-chan and Shizu-chan.
20:51Disbanded concert.
20:53I'm doing manzai like this.
20:55When I was a kid, I was very shy.
20:57Really?
20:59I'm talking in front of so many people.
21:01It's negative thinking.
21:03It's not good.
21:05I could only do subtraction.
21:07It's a different meaning.
21:09That's why you're worried.
21:11I think life should be positive thinking.
21:13It's better to be positive.
21:15When I wake up in the morning,
21:17I don't want to go to work.
21:19Everyone has that.
21:21When I don't want to go to school,
21:23I don't go to school.
21:25I don't go.
21:27It's not a substitute.
21:29I didn't have confidence.
21:31I compare myself with people.
21:33I compare myself with people.
21:35I don't compare.
21:37I have to say it properly.
21:39I don't compare.
21:41I don't compare.
21:43I talked about it.
21:45I want to say that there is no need to compare.
21:47My favorite song is
21:49One Flower in the World of SMAP.
21:51It's a song like that.
21:53It's in the lyrics of that song.
21:55It's a famous song.
21:57I lined up in front of the flower shop.
21:59I lined up in front of the flower shop.
22:01Where did you pick it up?
22:03I don't think it's there.
22:05I'm still lined up.
22:07There are only flowers in the flower shop.
22:09I don't feel anything.
22:11I didn't have any friends.
22:13I was a kid who played games at home.
22:15Everyone was playing games.
22:17Super Mario.
22:19It's like a supermarket.
22:21It's a supermarket that only sells mushrooms.
22:23I was a kid who only read manga.
22:25I read manga, too.
22:27I bought a comic book every month.
22:29It's a comic book.
22:31Why did you read it in kanji?
22:33I read it in kanji.
22:35I read it in kanji.
22:37I read it in kanji.
22:39I read it in kanji.
22:41I read it in kanji.
22:43I read it in kanji.
22:45I read it in kanji.
22:47I read it in kanji.
22:49I read it in kanji.
22:53My favorite thing is no-word perplex.
22:55That's not true.
22:57When did you meet each other?
22:59We met when we were college students.
23:01We are from the same prefecture.
23:03I'm a member of the Society for the Study of Nobuko Ochiyae.
23:09What are you studying for 4 years?
23:11Study of Japanese.
23:13Study Nobuko for 3 years, study Fukushima for 1 year.
23:15I don't know what you're talking about, at least do some research on Hiromitsu.
23:18After I graduated from university, I joined the Asakusa crime association.
23:21The crime association?
23:22Yes, that's where I joined.
23:23All of our teachers are not criminals.
23:25Our teacher, Keiko Utsumi.
23:26The master of crime.
23:27He died instantly four years ago.
23:29He died instantly?
23:30You don't die instantly at that age.
23:33He was a great young man. He was 97 years old.
23:36Keiko Utsumi was a great person.
23:39He walked 2km from his house to the theater.
23:42Even though he was over 90 years old, he was able to walk on his own.
23:45Why was he able to walk like that?
23:47When I looked up his bone age on a TV show called Family Medicine,
23:51he was 30 years old.
23:53His bone density was 30.
23:55Isn't that amazing?
23:56He was in his 30s.
23:57There was a huge response to this.
23:59So I did the second episode of Keiko Utsumi's training,
24:01and I measured his brain age.
24:03I put a device on his computer.
24:07You shouldn't say that.
24:09Brain age?
24:10You shouldn't say that because it wasn't broadcasted.
24:13Why wasn't it broadcasted?
24:14When I measured Keiko Utsumi's brain age on a test,
24:16it said he was 120 years old.
24:18How old is that?
24:19It can't be broadcasted.
24:22Why did you say that?
24:23He was 30 years old, but he was already 100 years old.
24:25I was surprised.
24:26The difference was 90 years old when I measured it.
24:28It's annoying.
24:30Please watch our manzai from now on.
24:32It didn't start?
24:33Thank you very much.