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Art et designTranscription
00:30pour vivre, mais elle a aussi fermé la porte dans la chambre pour pleurer.
00:33Loudement.
00:34C'est une chose pour une femme de pleurer, mais quand elles pleurent à tel volume que vous
00:37pouvez l'entendre à travers la porte, c'est quand vous savez qu'elles pleurent juste
00:40pour l'attention.
00:41En tout cas, j'ai réussi à faire un sandwich pour moi-même, donc je suis le vrai héros
00:46de l'histoire.
00:47C'était quelques heures plus tard, quand je me suis rendu compte que j'avais un bon
00:52départ avec mon livre.
00:53J'avais une phrase vraiment intéressante qui m'allait de page en page, et j'ai pensé
00:57à quel point c'est rare d'en arriver à ce niveau, à quel point je ne peux pas me concentrer
01:01parce que mon enfant idiot est en train de brûler la télévision, et tout d'un coup,
01:05ça m'a étonné.
01:06J'étais en colère, elle n'a jamais même pas piqué le petit bruit de la fabrication.
01:09Donc, je suis là, je suis ta mère, ce qui, je sais, vous donne toutes sortes d'idées
01:17mélangées sur le gendre, tandis que votre cerveau est toujours lourd et stupide.
01:20Rappelez-vous, si vous devenez une queer plus tard dans la vie, ce n'est pas de ma faute.
01:24Ne chantez pas ces chansons de votre club de nuit appelé « Mon père était ma maman »
01:27en vous regardant légèrement sur une étanglée de perles.
01:30Les perles sont pour les femmes, Bojack.
01:33Les perles sont pour les femmes.
01:36Vous savez que le dimanche est mon jour de courage.
01:38Les dimanches sont les uniques jours qui sont juste pour moi et mon travail.
01:41Et encore, vous et le trou noir qui vous a élevé conspirez à le détruire pour moi.
01:44Qu'est-ce que je dois faire maintenant ? Retourner à l'écriture ? Je suis hors de zone maintenant.
01:48Tout le jour a été filmé, tout à cause de vous et de cette brise brise de femme dont vous avez fait
01:51le erreur de faire votre mère.
01:53Non, ce n'est pas de sa faute.
01:56Elle fait tout ce qu'elle peut, après tout.
01:58C'est juste que vous ne pouvez pas dépendre des femmes.
02:01Vous ne pouvez pas dépendre de personne.
02:02Plus tôt ou plus tard, vous devez apprendre que personne d'autre ne va vous prendre soin.
02:06C'est ce que j'ai appris quand j'ai dû faire mon propre sandwich.
02:08Vous ne pouvez pas relier à d'autres, Bojack.
02:10C'est bien pour vous de le savoir.
02:11Et elle est une bonne mère pour vous apprendre ça.
02:14Vous avez un départ de tête sur la plupart des enfants.
02:16Vous êtes en fait très chanceux.
02:18Merci.
02:23Thank you !
02:48So I stopped at a jack-in-the-box in the middle of the night.
02:50And I thought to myself, I'm going to have a great night.
02:52I'm going to have a great night.
02:53I'm going to have a great night.
02:54I'm going to have a great night.
02:55I'm going to have a great night.
02:56I'm going to have a great night.
02:57I'm going to have a great night.
02:58I'm going to have a great night.
02:59I'm going to have a great night.
03:00I'm going to have a great night.
03:01I'm going to have a great night.
03:02I'm going to have a great night.
03:03I'm going to have a great night.
03:04I'm going to have a great night.
03:05I'm going to have a great night.
03:06I'm going to have a great night.
03:07I'm going to have a great night.
03:09So I stopped at a jack-in-the-box on the way here.
03:11And the girl behind the counter said,
03:13Hiya ! Are you having an awesome day ?
03:15Not, how are you doing today ? No.
03:17Are you having an awesome day ?
03:19Which is pretty shitty,
03:20because it puts the onus on me to disagree with her.
03:22Like, if I'm not having an awesome day,
03:24suddenly I'm the negative one.
03:26Usually when people ask how I'm doing,
03:27the real answer is, I'm doing shitty.
03:29But I can't say I'm doing shitty,
03:30because I'm doing shitty.
03:31I'm doing shitty.
03:32I'm doing shitty.
03:33I'm doing shitty.
03:34I'm doing shitty.
03:35I'm doing shitty.
03:36I'm doing shitty.
03:37I can't say I'm doing shitty,
03:38because I don't even have a good reason to be doing shitty.
03:40So if I say, I'm doing shitty,
03:41then they say, why, what's wrong ?
03:43And I have to be like, I don't know, all of it ?
03:45So instead, when people ask how I'm doing,
03:47I usually say, I am doing so great.
03:50But when this girl at the jack-in-the-box
03:51asked me if I was having an awesome day,
03:53I thought, well, today,
03:54I'm actually allowed to feel shitty.
03:56Today, I have a good reason.
03:57So I said to her, well, my mom died.
03:59And she immediately burst into tears.
04:01So now I have to comfort her, which is annoying.
04:04And meanwhile, there's a line of people forming behind me
04:06who are all giving me these real judgy looks
04:08because I made the jack-in-the-box girl cry.
04:10And she's bawling, and she's saying,
04:11I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.
04:12And I'm like, it's fine, it's fine.
04:14I mean, it's not fine, but you know, it's fine.
04:17And I would like to order a double jack meal,
04:19and I've kind of got somewhere to be,
04:20so maybe less with the crying and more with the frying, huh ?
04:23And the girl apologizes, again,
04:25and she offers me a free churro with my meal.
04:27And as I'm leaving, I think,
04:29I just got a free churro because my mom died.
04:32No one ever tells you when your mom dies
04:33you get a free churro.
04:37Anyway, I'm sorry, that's not part of the...
04:40All right, okay, here we go, let's do this.
04:42Here I am, BoJack Horseman, doing a eulogy, let's go.
04:45Hey, piano man, can I get like an organ flourish ?
04:49Nicely done.
04:50You know, I was a little worried
04:51I wouldn't have the right accompaniment today.
04:53I guess it's a good thing my mom was an organ donor.
04:57What happened to the organ ?
04:59Okay, why don't you just leave the comedy to the professionals, okay ?
05:01This is a funeral, sir, for my mother.
05:03Could you show a little respect ?
05:07I'll take it.
05:08Beatrice Horseman, who was she ?
05:09What was her deal ?
05:10Well, she was a horse.
05:11She was born in 1938.
05:13She died in 2018.
05:14One time she went to a parade,
05:15and one time she smoked an entire cigarette
05:17in one long inhale.
05:18I watched her do it.
05:19Truly a remarkable woman.
05:24Lived a full life, that lady.
05:26Just all the way to the end.
05:28Which is now, I guess.
05:30Really makes you think, though, huh ?
05:32Life, right ?
05:34It goes by, stuff happens.
05:35Then you die.
05:37Okay, well, that's my time.
05:38You've been great, if you're waitress.
05:39No, I'm just kidding around.
05:40There's no waitress.
05:41But seriously, that's all I have to say about my mother.
05:43No point beating a dead horse, right ?
05:45So...
05:46Now what ?
05:47I don't know.
05:48Mom, you got any ideas ?
05:50Anything ?
05:51Mom ?
05:52No ?
05:53Nothing to contribute ?
05:55Knock once if you're proud of me.
05:57Can I just say how amazing it is
05:59to be in a room with my mother
06:00and I can just talk and talk
06:01without her telling me to shut up
06:02and make her a drink ?
06:03Hey, Mom, knock once if you think I should shut up.
06:06No ? You sure ?
06:07I mean, I don't want to embarrass you
06:08by making this eulogy into a mealogy.
06:10So, seriously,
06:11if you wanted me to sit down
06:12and let someone else talk,
06:13just knock once.
06:14I will not be offended.
06:15No ?
06:16You're a funeral.
06:17Sorry about the closed casket, by the way.
06:19She wanted an open casket,
06:20but, you know, she's dead now, so...
06:22Who cares what she wanted ?
06:23No, that sounds bad.
06:24I'm sorry.
06:25I think that if she could have seen
06:27what she looked like, Dad,
06:28she'd agree it's better this way.
06:29She looked like this.
06:31Kind of like a pissed-off toy dinosaur.
06:33Coroner couldn't get her eyes closed,
06:35so now her face is forever frozen
06:36in a mask of tremendous horror and anguish.
06:39Or as my mom called it, Tuesday.
06:42Tuesday.
06:43My mom called it Tuesday.
06:46Hey, Mom, what did you think of that joke ?
06:47You like that ?
06:48You never did care for my comedy.
06:52Here's a story.
06:53When I was a teenager,
06:54I performed a comedy routine
06:56for my high school talent show.
06:59There was this cool jacket
07:00that I wanted to wear
07:01because I thought it would make me look like Albert Brooks.
07:02For months, I saved up for this jacket.
07:04But when I finally had enough,
07:05I went to the store, and it was gone.
07:07They'd just sold it to someone else.
07:09So I went home, and I told my mother,
07:10and she said,
07:11let that be a lesson.
07:12That's the good that comes from wanting things.
07:14She was really good at dispensing life lessons
07:16that always seemed to circle back
07:17to everything being my fault.
07:19But then, on the day of the talent show,
07:21my mother had a surprise for me.
07:23She had bought me the jacket.
07:24And even though she didn't know how to say it,
07:27I knew this meant that she loved me.
07:29Now, that's a good story about my mother.
07:31It's not true,
07:32but it's a good story, right?
07:34I stole it from an episode of Maude
07:35I saw when I was a kid
07:36where she talks about her father.
07:37I remember when I saw it thinking,
07:39that's the kind of story
07:40I want to tell about my parents when they die.
07:42But I don't have any stories like that.
07:44All I know about being good,
07:45I learned from TV.
07:47And in TV,
07:48flawed characters are constantly showing people
07:49they care with these surprising, grand gestures.
07:51And I think that part of me still believes
07:53that's what love is.
07:55But in real life,
07:56the big gesture isn't enough.
07:58You need to be consistent.
07:59You need to be dependably good.
08:00You can't just screw everything up
08:02and then take a boat out in the ocean
08:03to save your best friend
08:04or solve a mystery and fly to Kansas.
08:06You need to do it every day,
08:07which is so hard.
08:10When you're a kid,
08:11you convince yourself that maybe
08:12the grand gesture could be enough.
08:14That even though your parents
08:15aren't what you need them to be
08:16over and over and over again,
08:18at any moment,
08:19they might surprise you
08:20with something wonderful.
08:22I kept waiting for that.
08:23The proof that even though
08:24my mother was a hard woman,
08:25deep down,
08:26she loved me and cared about me
08:28and wanted me to know
08:29that I made her life
08:30a little bit brighter.
08:32Even now,
08:33I find myself waiting.
08:35Hey, Mom,
08:36knock once if you love me
08:37and care about me
08:38and want me to know
08:39that I made your life
08:40a little bit brighter.
08:42My mother did not go gentle
08:44into that good night.
08:45She went clawing and fighting
08:47and thrashing.
08:48Hence the face.
08:51If you'd seen her,
08:52I swear to God,
08:53the only thing you'd be thinking
08:54about right now
08:55is that I am nailing
08:56this impression.
08:58I was in the hospital with her
08:59those last moments,
09:00and they were truly horrifying,
09:02full of nonsensical screams
09:03and cries.
09:04But there was this moment,
09:05this one instant
09:06of strange calm
09:07where she looked
09:08in my direction
09:09and said,
09:10I see you.
09:11It's the last thing
09:12she said to me.
09:13I see you.
09:14Not a statement of judgment
09:15or disappointment,
09:16just acceptance
09:17and the simple recognition
09:18of another person
09:19in a room.
09:20Hello there.
09:21You are a person
09:22and I see you.
09:24Let me tell you,
09:25it's a weird thing
09:26to feel at 54 years old
09:27that for the first time
09:28in your life,
09:29your mother sees you.
09:30It's an odd realization
09:31that that's the thing
09:32that you've been missing,
09:33the only thing
09:34that you wanted all along
09:35to be seen.
09:36And it doesn't feel
09:37like a relief
09:38to finally be seen.
09:39It feels mean,
09:40like, oh,
09:41turns out you knew
09:42what I wanted
09:43and you waited
09:44until the very last moment
09:45to give it to me.
09:46I was prepared
09:47for more cruelty.
09:48I was sure that she would
09:49get in one final zinger
09:50about how I was fat
09:51and stupid
09:52and too tall
09:53to be an effective Lindy Hopper,
09:54how I was needy
09:55and a burden
09:56and an embarrassment.
09:57All that,
09:58I was ready for.
09:59I was not ready for
10:00I see you.
10:01Only my mother
10:02would be lousy enough
10:03to swipe me
10:04with a moment of connection
10:05on her way out.
10:06Maybe I'm giving her
10:07too much credit.
10:08Maybe it wasn't
10:09a bad connection.
10:10Maybe it was a...
10:11Maybe it was
10:12an I see you,
10:13like, uh...
10:14I see you.
10:15Like, you might have
10:16the rest of the world fooled,
10:17but I know exactly
10:18who you are.
10:20Or maybe she just
10:21literally meant,
10:22I see you.
10:23You are an object
10:24that has entered
10:25my field of vision.
10:26She was pretty out of it
10:27at the end there,
10:28so maybe it's dumb
10:29to try to attribute it
10:30to anything.
10:31Back in the 90s,
10:32I was in a very famous
10:33TV show called
10:34Horsin' Around.
10:35Please hold your applause.
10:37And I remember one time
10:38a fan asked me,
10:39Hey, um,
10:40you know that episode
10:41where the horse
10:42has to give Ethan a pep talk
10:43after Ethan finds out
10:44his crush only asked him
10:45to the dance
10:46because her friends
10:47were having a
10:48dance contest?
10:49In all the shots
10:50of the horse,
10:51you can see a paper
10:52coffee cup
10:53on the kitchen counter,
10:54but in the shots of Ethan,
10:55the coffee cup's missing.
10:56Was that because
10:57the show was making
10:58a statement about
10:59the fluctuant subjectivity
11:00of memory
11:01and how even two people
11:02can experience
11:03the same moment
11:04in entirely different ways?
11:05And I didn't have
11:06the heart to be like,
11:07No, man.
11:08Some crew guy
11:09just left their
11:10coffee cup in the shot.
11:11So instead,
11:12I was like,
11:13Yeah.
11:14And maybe this is
11:15like that coffee cup.
11:16Maybe we're dumb
11:17to try to pin
11:18significance
11:19onto every little thing.
11:20Maybe when someone
11:21says,
11:22I see you,
11:23it just means,
11:24I see you.
11:25Then again,
11:26it's possible
11:27she wasn't even
11:28talking to me
11:29because,
11:30if I'm being honest,
11:31she wasn't really
11:32looking at me.
11:33She was looking
11:34just past me.
11:35There was nobody
11:36else in the room,
11:37so I want to think
11:38she was talking to me,
11:39but honestly,
11:40she was so far
11:41gone at that point,
11:42who knows
11:43what she was saying.
11:44Who were you
11:45talking to, Mom?
11:46Maybe she saw my dad.
11:47My dad died
11:48about 10 years ago
11:49of injuries he sustained
11:50during a duel.
11:51When your father dies,
11:52you ask yourself
11:53a lot of questions.
11:54Questions like,
11:55Wait,
11:56did you say he died
11:57in a duel?
11:58And who dies in a duel?
11:59The whole thing
12:00was so stupid.
12:01Dad spent his entire
12:02life writing this book,
12:03but he couldn't get
12:04any stores to carry it
12:05or any newspapers
12:06to review it.
12:07Finally,
12:08I guess this one
12:09newspaper thought
12:10he was pretty hilarious
12:11because they ran a review
12:12and tore him to shreds.
12:13So my father,
12:14ever the proud Mary,
12:15wrote a letter
12:16in his honor.
12:17He claimed the critic
12:18didn't understand
12:19what it meant
12:20to be a man,
12:21so he demanded
12:22satisfaction
12:23in the form of
12:24pistols at dawn.
12:25He wrote the paper
12:26of this letter
12:27saying anyone
12:28who didn't like
12:29his book,
12:30he would challenge
12:31to a duel.
12:32Anyone in the world.
12:33He'd even pay
12:34for airfare
12:35to San Francisco
12:36and a night in a hotel.
12:37Well,
12:38eventually this found
12:39its way
12:40to some kook in Montana
12:41who was as batshit
12:42as he was
12:43and he took him
12:44for a ride
12:45on his horse
12:46not looking
12:47where he was going,
12:48tripped over
12:49an exposed root
12:50and bashed
12:51his head
12:52on a rock.
12:53I wish I'd known
12:54to go to
12:55Jack of the Box then.
12:56Maybe I could've
12:57gotten a free churro.
12:58Would've been nice
12:59to have something
13:00to show for being
13:01the son of
13:02Butterscotch Horseman.
13:03My darling mother
13:04gave the eulogy.
13:05My entire life
13:06I never heard her
13:07say a kind word
13:08to or
13:09about my father
13:10but at his funeral
13:11she said
13:12my husband is dead
13:13Maybe she felt
13:14like that's the kind of thing
13:15you're supposed to say
13:16at a funeral.
13:17Maybe she hoped
13:18one day someone
13:19would say that about her.
13:20My mother is dead
13:21and everything
13:22is worse now.
13:23Or maybe she knew
13:24that he had frittered away
13:25all her inheritance
13:26and replaced it
13:27with crippling debt
13:28which is a pretty
13:29shitty thing
13:30to leave your widow with.
13:31Bad news,
13:32you lost a husband
13:33but don't worry
13:34you also lost the house.
13:35Maybe mom knew
13:36she'd have to sell
13:37all her fancy jewelry
13:38and move into a home.
13:39Maybe that's what
13:40she meant by
13:41everything is worse now.
13:42Maybe the quiet one
13:43does card tricks.
13:44Hey, piano man,
13:45when I say something
13:46funny to my mom
13:47how about you give me
13:48one of those rim shots?
13:49Yeah, but not now
13:50when I say something funny
13:51like, okay,
13:52what's the difference
13:53between my mother
13:54and a disruptive
13:55expulsion of germs?
13:56One's a coffin fit
13:57and the other
13:58fits a coffin.
13:59That's an example
14:00of a funny thing.
14:01Thank you.
14:02Let's try again.
14:03Hey mom,
14:04what's the difference
14:05between my mother
14:06and a bunch of Easter eggs?
14:07One gets carried
14:08in a basket,
14:09the other gets
14:10buried in a casket.
14:11What's the difference
14:12between a first-year
14:13lit major
14:14and my mother,
14:15Beatrice Horseman?
14:16One is decently red
14:17and the other
14:18is a huge bitch.
14:19Yeah, I might have
14:20gone a little too far
14:21with that one.
14:22That one might have
14:23been a little too
14:24my mom's a huge bitch
14:25for the room.
14:26I'm sorry, mother,
14:27you're not a huge bitch.
14:28You were a huge bitch
14:29and now you're dead.
14:30You know,
14:31the first time
14:32I ever performed
14:33in front of an audience
14:34actually was with my mom.
14:35She used to put on
14:36these shows
14:37with her supper club
14:38in the living room
14:39and she used to make
14:40me sing the lollipop song.
14:41Those parties,
14:42they were really
14:43something.
14:44There were skits
14:45and magic acts
14:46and ethnically insensitive
14:47vaudeville routines
14:48and the big finale
14:49was always a dance
14:50my mother did.
14:51She had this
14:52beautiful dress
14:53that she only brought out
14:54for these parties
14:55and she did this
14:56incredible number.
14:57They were so beautiful
14:58and sad.
14:59Dad hated the parties.
15:00He'd lock himself
15:01in the study
15:02and bang on the walls
15:03for us to keep it down,
15:04but he always
15:05came out
15:06with a dance.
15:07I remember
15:08my mom
15:09he always
15:10came out
15:11to see mom dance.
15:12He'd linger
15:13in the doorway
15:14scotch in hand
15:15and watch in awe
15:16as this
15:17cynical
15:18despicable
15:19woman
15:20he married
15:21took flight.
15:22And as a child
15:23who was completely
15:24terrified
15:25of both my parents,
15:26I was always aware
15:27that this moment
15:28of grace,
15:29it meant something.
15:30We understood
15:31each other in a way,
15:32me and my mom
15:33and my dad.
15:34As screwed up
15:35as we all were,
15:36we did understand
15:37each other.
15:38She knew what it's like
15:39to feel your entire life
15:40like you're drowning
15:41with the exception
15:42of these moments.
15:43These very rare
15:44brief instances
15:45in which you suddenly
15:46remember
15:47you can swim.
16:04But then again,
16:05mostly not.
16:06Mostly you're drowning.
16:07She understood that too.
16:08And she recognized
16:09that I understood it.
16:10And dad,
16:11all three of us
16:12were drowning
16:13and we didn't know
16:14how to save each other.
16:15But there was
16:16an understanding
16:17that we were
16:18all drowning together.
16:19And I would like to think
16:20that that's what she meant
16:21when we were in the hospital
16:22and she said,
16:23I see you.
16:24You know,
16:25the weird thing
16:26about both your parents
16:27being dead
16:28is it means
16:29that you're next.
16:30I mean,
16:31you know,
16:32obviously,
16:33it's not like
16:34there's a wait list
16:35for dying.
16:36It's just small
16:37and stupid
16:38and petty.
16:40I actually had
16:41a near-death experience recently.
16:42A stunt went bad
16:43and I fell off a building.
16:44Now I'm an actor.
16:45I do my own stunts.
16:46I'm on this new show,
16:47Philbert.
16:48I'm Philbert,
16:49star of the show.
16:50Hasn't even come out yet,
16:51but it's already
16:52getting Emmy buzz.
16:53Oh, speaking of buzz,
16:54I'm supposed to take
16:55two of these every morning,
16:56but my days are so screwed up
16:57because of the
16:58shooting schedule.
16:59I don't even know
17:00what morning means anymore.
17:01There's a joke in there
17:02somewhere about a guy
17:03who's been to so many funerals,
17:04he doesn't even know
17:05what morning means anymore.
17:06I'll let you guys
17:07figure that one out
17:08for yourselves.
17:09Anyway,
17:10you know what I thought
17:11when I was falling off
17:12that building
17:13and I went into panic mode?
17:14The last thing
17:15that my stupid brain
17:16could come up with
17:17before I died?
17:18Won't they be sorry?
17:20Cool thought, brain.
17:21No, that wasn't...
17:22Just dial it back,
17:23all right?
17:24I don't even know
17:25what they
17:26I wanted to be sorry.
17:27My mom,
17:28even before she died,
17:29could barely remember
17:30who I was.
17:31And of course,
17:32my dad's dead.
17:33The last conversation
17:34I had with him
17:35was about a novel.
17:36He was so certain
17:37this book was his legacy.
17:38Maybe he thought
17:39it would vindicate him
17:40for all the shitty things
17:41he ever did
17:42in his stupid,
17:43worthless life.
17:44Maybe it did.
17:45I don't know.
17:46I never read it.
17:47Because why would
17:48I give him that?
17:49I used to be
17:50on this TV show
17:51called Horsin' Around.
17:52Seriously,
17:53though,
17:54hold your applause.
17:55Well held.
17:56It was written
17:57by my friend
17:58Herb Cazaz,
17:59who's also dead now,
18:00and it starred
18:01this little girl
18:02named Sarah Lynn.
18:03It's funny because
18:04audiences tend to find
18:05orphans sad
18:06and not relatable.
18:07But I never thought
18:08the orphans were sad.
18:09I always thought
18:10they were lucky
18:11because they could imagine
18:12their parents to be
18:13anything they wanted.
18:14They had something
18:15to long for.
18:16Anyway,
18:17we did this one-season finale
18:18where Olivia's birth mother
18:19comes to town.
18:20And she was a junkie,
18:21but she's gotten
18:22herself cleaned up
18:23and she wants to be
18:24in Olivia's life again.
18:25And of course,
18:26she's like a perfect
18:27grown-up version of Olivia.
18:28And they go to the mall
18:29together and get
18:30her ears pierced
18:31like she's always wanted.
18:33Anyway,
18:34the horse tries to warn her.
18:35Be careful.
18:36Moms have a way
18:37of letting you down.
18:38But Olivia
18:39just thinks the horse
18:40is jealous.
18:41And when the mom
18:42says she's moving
18:43to California,
18:44Olivia decides
18:45to go with her.
18:46And the network
18:47really juiced
18:48the cliffhanger.
18:49Is Olivia gone for good?
18:50But of course,
18:51because it's a TV show,
18:52she's not gone for good.
18:53Of course,
18:54because it's a TV show,
18:55Olivia's mother
18:56had a relapse
18:57and had to go back
18:58to rehab.
18:59So Olivia had to
19:00hitchhike all the way home
19:01to get a ride.
19:02Of course,
19:03that's what happened
19:04because what are you
19:05going to do?
19:06Just not have Olivia
19:07on the show?
19:08You can't have
19:09happy endings in sitcoms.
19:10Not really,
19:11because if everyone's happy,
19:12the show would be over.
19:13And above all else,
19:14the show has to keep going.
19:15There's always more show.
19:16And you can call
19:17horsing around
19:18dumb or bad
19:19or unrealistic,
19:20but there's nothing
19:21more realistic than that.
19:22You never get
19:23a happy ending
19:24because there's
19:25always more show.
19:26I guess until there is it.
19:28My mom would hate it
19:29if she knew
19:30that I spent so much time
19:31at her funeral
19:32talking about
19:33my old TV show.
19:34Or maybe she'd think
19:35it was funny
19:36that her idiot son
19:37couldn't even do this right.
19:38Who knows?
19:39She left no instructions
19:40for what she wanted me to say.
19:41All I know is
19:42she wanted an open casket
19:43and her idiot son
19:44couldn't even do that right.
19:45I'm not going to stand up here
19:46and pretend I ever understood
19:47how to please that woman,
19:48even though so much
19:49of my life
19:50has been wasted
19:51in vain attempts
19:52to figure it out.
19:53But I keep going back
19:54to that moment in the ICU
19:55when she looked at me
19:56and said,
19:57I see you.
19:59I
20:00see
20:01you.
20:03Jesus Christ.
20:04We were in the
20:05intensive care unit.
20:06She was just
20:07reading a sign.
20:10My mom died
20:11and all I got
20:12was this free churro.
20:15You know the shittiest
20:16thing about all of this?
20:17Is when that stranger
20:18behind the counter
20:19gave me that free churro.
20:20That small act of kindness
20:21showed more compassion
20:22than my mother gave me
20:23her entire
20:24goddamn life.
20:25Like how hard is it
20:26to do something nice
20:27for a person?
20:28This woman
20:29at the jack in the box
20:30didn't even know me.
20:31I'm your son.
20:33All I had was you.
20:37I have this
20:38friend
20:39and right around
20:40when I first met her,
20:41her dad died
20:42and I actually went
20:43with her to the funeral
20:44and months later
20:45she told me
20:46that she didn't understand
20:47why she was still
20:48upset because
20:49she never even liked
20:50her father.
20:51It made sense to me
20:52because I went through
20:53the same thing
20:54and I'm going through
20:55the same thing now.
20:56You know what it's like?
20:57It's like that show
20:58Becker, you know,
20:59with Ted Danson.
21:00I watched the entire
21:01run of that show
21:02hoping that it would
21:03get better
21:04and it never did.
21:05It had all the
21:06right pieces
21:07but it just
21:08couldn't put them together
21:09and when it got cancelled
21:10I was really bummed out.
21:11Not because I liked
21:12the show but because
21:13I knew it could be
21:14so much better
21:15and now it never would be
21:16and that's what
21:17losing a parent is like.
21:18It's like Becker.
21:19Suddenly you realize
21:20you'll never have
21:21the good relationship
21:22you wanted
21:23because part of you,
21:24the stupidest goddamn
21:25part of you
21:26was still holding on
21:27to that chance
21:28and he didn't even
21:29realize it until
21:30that chance went away.
21:31My mother is dead
21:33and everything
21:34is worse now
21:35because now I know
21:37I will never have
21:38a mother who looks
21:39at me from across the room
21:40and says
21:41BoJack Horseman
21:42I see you.
21:44But I guess
21:45it's good to know.
21:46It's good to know
21:47that there is nobody
21:48looking out for me.
21:49That there never was
21:50and there never will be.
21:51It's good to know
21:52that I am the only one
21:53that I can depend on
21:55and I know that now
21:56and it's good.
21:57It's good that I know that
21:58so it's good
21:59my mother is dead.
22:03Well, no point
22:04beating a dead horse.
22:05Beatrice Horseman
22:06was born in 1938
22:07and she died in 2018
22:09and I have no idea
22:10what she wanted.
22:14Unless she just wanted
22:15what we all want.
22:17To be seen.
22:22To be seen.
22:36Is this Funeral Parlor B?