All the ways you suck, according to Roger Horton | Best Of Honest Ads - video Dailymotion

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Revisiting 10 of Roger Horton's sickest burns. Stop leaving yourself vulnerable to data breaches. Go to our sponsor https://aura.com/honestads to get a 14-day free trial and see if any of your data has been exposed  Become an Honest Ads premium member to get access to exclusive perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-0dXntqR76zT7b3-iB7Q1g/join  CAST: Roger Horton: Jack Hunter  Editor: Gabrielle Williott  00:04 If military recruiters Were Honest 00:19 If College Degrees Were Honest 00:35 If NFTs Were Honest 00:59 If Casinos Were Honest 01:41 If Human Resources Were Honest 02:00 Aura Ad 03:09 If Coffee Ads Were Honest 03:30 If Amazon Were Honest 03:47 If Superbowl commercials were honest 04:01 If Airlines Were Honest 04:34 If Megachurches Were Honest

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00:00I'm on a hunt for a moist cough of a man, a sad satchel of underutilized organs who can barely

00:05get out of a gaming chair, much less a foxhole. Hey, I'm here for ARMY. The world is full of

00:11beautiful geometry, every flower a mathematical marvel. Jeez, how did you get out of your locker,

00:20you acne-pucked Archimedes? Nerd. You're an idiot, and you're going to die broke and alone.

00:27I'll explain for you emotional pudding-headed wimps who look at art because it makes you feel

00:34things. And you can expect her to shake a turd or two out one pant leg as she crosses the casino

00:40floor. I was kind of hoping for more of a tux and pearls experience, you know, like James Bond or

00:44like Ocean's Eleven. Oh yeah, casino patrons look like they do in heist movies, just like the

00:51average McDonald's table is filled with a smiling family of four. The closest you're gonna get to

00:57that Monte Carlo highlife you're picturing is when one of our more desperate patrons offers

01:03to follow you to your car and service you orally for five bucks. I actually don't think that's what

01:08quid pro quo means. It's, um, oh shut up you human resources fart. A no resource. Okay, that was just

01:17mean, especially considering I'm about to save Roger's ass. You see, I just got a weird phone

01:22call saying Roger's been kidnapped, and they'll only release him if I pay $30,000 worth of iTunes

01:27gift cards. Seems legit. Let me, uh, just, oh, there you go. That should do it. Anyway, today's video is

01:34sponsored by Aura. Over 2.9 billion records have been stolen from the national public data and

01:39released for free online. Now everyone knows my computer passwords. I'm McLovin with a capital M.

01:43My full name, passwords, address, date of birth, social security number, and my phone number along

01:47with all of the names for my porcelain unicorns and their birth dates are just out there in the

01:51depths of the dark web. Fortunately, I'm covered with Aura. Aura alerts me if anyone gets a hold

01:56of my info or tries to access my bank accounts. And since my unicorn collection is priceless,

02:00I count on the five million dollars in identity theft insurance that should come my way in the

02:04worst case scenario. You can go to my link at Aura.com slash honest ads to try 14 days for free.

02:09Just enough time for Aura to fill you in on a data breach. Since I refuse to besmirch the

02:13Horton name, I implore you, don't be a dumbass and leave yourself vulnerable to data breaches. Instead,

02:17go to Aura.com slash honest ads to try two weeks for free. And now back to more burns flung from

02:22the throes of late stage capitalism. I'm John Lovett. You will let literally anyone treat you

02:28literally however they want as long as they're handing you a cup of the chemical reward of an

02:34unregulated psychoactive drug. Enjoy your drug disguised as a universally celebrated

02:40touchstone of human culture. Boomers invented the wine mom. Gen X. Well, no one really knows what

02:48they've been up to. But the modern trad wife has a new coping mechanism to keep her docile.

02:54Impulse shopping online. Not that a complete wretched peasant like you would need an excuse

03:00to drink. But between the big game and you being down $5,000, you're screwed. And we do that by

03:08packing those tubes with thousands of you butts. I mean, people. Sometimes I forget that you're

03:14entire people and not butts that somehow possess plastic debt rectangles. Also, please use my

03:21plastic debt rectangle. I'll give you points I made up if you do. And almost all of you will

03:27forget to turn those points into anything but the initial dopamine rush of receiving them.

03:32The first Christian churches were mostly small, quiet gatherings of ethnically and culturally

03:40diverse believers committed to loving their God and their neighbors, even when those same

03:46neighbors might persecute them for their beliefs. But they were a bunch of dumb idiots. That was

03:532000 years ago. And it's time for American megachurches to put the sex back in religious

04:02sectionalism.

All the ways you suck, according to Roger Horton | Best Of Honest Ads

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