• 2 days ago
#comedy #comedyclubs #comedyshows #comedyvideo #comedyshorts #funny #standup #standupcomedian

Category

😹
Fun
Transcript
00:00I am currently on jury duty.
00:03I'm not supposed to talk about it,
00:07but that's all we're gonna talk about, okay?
00:10Been dying to get this off my chest, okay?
00:14I was so honest with the judge, too.
00:15I told him, I said, yo, listen, I'm a stand-up comic.
00:18My whole job is to go out at night and talk about my day,
00:23but they're so hard up for jurors that he was like,
00:26oh, so you're free from 9 to 5, you know?
00:29And now I'm on a jury, you know?
00:31And they ask you questions to try to, like, filter you out,
00:34so they were like, hey, listen, this is a murder case.
00:37You know, it's a felony.
00:38Are you okay listening to details
00:40about a murder for two weeks?
00:41And I was like, listen, I'm from New York.
00:43I wanted to kill people every day, okay?
00:46You know, by the same token, 30-some-odd years.
00:48I haven't done it yet, so I get the other side, you know?
00:53Perspective.
00:55And then he was like, okay, so we meet Monday through Friday.
00:58Are you free to do that?
00:59And I was like, actually, I got a show on Friday in Rhode Island,
01:03and I thought that was gonna knock me out the running,
01:06but he just took a note.
01:08He sent me out the room, and then when he brought us all in,
01:10he was like, ladies and gentlemen,
01:12you are officially members of the jury.
01:15We'll be meeting Monday through Thursday
01:20because some of you have other obligations.
01:23This dude is on trial for murder,
01:26and it got delayed a week
01:27so I can entertain 70 people in Providence?
01:32That's too much power, you know?

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