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Lucio Buffalmano is a sociologist and a world expert on power dynamics, strategies, and men's self-development.
In 2016, Lucio founded ThePowerMoves.com to help good men empower themselves, achieve their goals, and win at life.
Today, it’s the world's most popular website on power and strategies.
https://thepowermoves.com/
Lucio Buffalmano is a sociologist and a world expert on power dynamics, strategies, and men's self-development.
In 2016, Lucio founded ThePowerMoves.com to help good men empower themselves, achieve their goals, and win at life.
Today, it’s the world's most popular website on power and strategies.
https://thepowermoves.com/
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LearningTranscript
00:00This email sucked. Let's see why. First off, the subject, yes, it tries to grab attention.
00:06It's effective in that. However, it's effective in the negative. It doesn't work. What kind
00:14of person or business is happy to receive such an email? Especially a person or a business
00:22that is proud of the work they are doing and that they want to help people. They are never
00:27happy to receive such an email. Then they open the email and they even see that it was
00:33a technique. Then you lose point two times. One for being negative and two for being a
00:39manipulative technique. Let's dig deeper. Provide it to me for free. It's a command.
00:46It's disempowering. Now, if I provide it for free, I submit to her, to her request, to
00:53her tasking. Now, this type of attitude may work for men in dating. If and when the woman
01:01already sees you as a high quality man that she wants to submit to or submit this kind
01:07of a difficult keyword these days. So let's say that if she sees you as a man who is worthy
01:14of leading her, then when you tell her, do this, do that for me, you can even increase
01:19the attraction. It can work, but not in these cases, not with a man doing it with another
01:26man, not when you're supposed to be at the same level, even less when you're supposed
01:30to be below, such as when you're doing a request and even less, less and less when you're supposed
01:37to be below, when you're asking for a favor and when you're doing to somebody who tends
01:42to be high power or proud, you're going to lose big time, social capital, your ability
01:48to influence. They dislike you more. It just doesn't work. Well, don't do it. Let's keep
01:54going. I can alternatively download it from Zed library in a slightly worse and less organized
02:00format. Now she's putting her leverage down. And yes, usually you do want to show your
02:06leverage. However, you want to be strategic about it. You don't always need to show your
02:10leverage, but often it's a good idea. Yes. Here she's basically trying to say, I don't
02:15really need you because they have this other option, but one it's too confrontational again
02:22to the other problem is that it reeks of slimy manipulation. Stop the video for a second.
02:28See if you can spot the keywords that feel manipulative. Did you try? So these are the
02:35ones, the slightly worse and less organized. Now I didn't know anything about Zed library,
02:42but to me, this already was a major red flag this slightly. So I was curious. I was also
02:49going to do a video about it. So I checked Zed library. I never heard about it. It looks like
02:54it's for eBooks. Is it going to be slightly worse? No, fuck no. Power university is a course and
03:01it's a multimedia course. It's got a lot of pictures, infographics, videos that point to
03:07YouTube videos of my own. It's got a GIF however you pronounce that it's got quizzes and it's got
03:15a lot of links that you need to access by registering to the website. It's not going to be
03:21slightly worse. Furthermore, power university is constantly updated. So you're going to get some
03:28old ass version in a terrible format. This was the specific of power university, but even in
03:34different cases, when somebody says slightly worse, it's always a red flag. In this case,
03:40specifically to me, it framed this sender as a slimy manipulator. Let's keep going.
03:47But we will both benefit again, social exchange manipulation. Try to think about it.
03:56Will we both benefit? Maybe, but not nearly at the same level. You get something practical,
04:03you get something proven. I have to do upfront work to grant you access. Even if I don't do it,
04:10it's work that somebody in the customer service has to do it. And it's work that they need to do
04:16it without getting anything back right away, hoping that you will eventually pay. And there
04:22is the funny thing with an email like this. What are the chances that this type of person is going
04:28to honor a gentleman's agreement? This email proves the opposite. This is not a win-win
04:35exchange, even in case it were, you are still taking a lot more. So again, to pretend that
04:41this is a balanced give and take, reeks of slimy manipulation. We both benefit from you giving me
04:50free material as part of a deal that you get back if it works. Finally, what she doesn't realize is
04:57that only a terrible business will take such an opportunity. Why? Because a good business can
05:06choose its customers. A lot of customers take more than they give, especially a customer who's asking
05:12to join for free. You're already taking from the beginning. A healthy business doesn't need you,
05:18doesn't want you. Now this is in general, especially in the case of deep power moves.
05:23Personally, I do not want turkeys and manipulator to join the program. A person like this one,
05:31I don't even want if they pay full price. What could have instead been a better email, a better
05:36approach? Well, one first understand that you don't have much power. So don't try to invert the
05:43power tables because it's a power move and don't do it on a business like deep power moves. It's
05:49the worst place possible, probably. So what you will do is that, you know, just simply own it that
05:54you are asking and try to give something back. For example, something like this. You guys rock
06:01subject. I've been reading your article, super helpful. You're at a different level than anybody
06:07say anything that was helpful to you. And that's true. Then if you want to go a step forward,
06:12which is a good idea because you are asking. So give before you ask. I already talked about you
06:19to some of my friends. I even left a positive review here. Send the link. Boom. Now you're a
06:26giver. And now you talk about your issue. I'm totally broke. Unluckily I live in Finland that
06:33I only got 30 euros. You know, that's real broke. The receiver will say, yeah, I agree. That's pretty
06:40broke. She's given something. And think about this. Now the frame is different. The frame is that
06:46it's an honest person. It's a value giver. She gets it. She gets the social exchange.
06:54And it's a person that you like. You want to serve them. And the chances that they will pay
07:00back if they can are much, much higher. With an email like this, your chance to get what you want
07:07are 10, 20 times higher. Now let's be honest. They are still quite low because a business that's
07:14very busy, they focus more on customers. They give a practical value, right? But still, even if it's
07:2110%, it's still a relatively good shot. You tweak it a little bit. You can get to 20, 30%.
07:29That's good. But even more important are the skills and the mindsets that stand behind the
07:35different approach that we just highlighted. And that applies not only to your requests,
07:41not only to business, but to all areas of your life. Even more important, actually, for positive,
07:47good and win-win relationships in your life. I guarantee you a person with the mindset behind
07:54the original email cannot have high quality people in her life, cannot have a high quality
08:02ego boyfriend. Instead, the type of character, the character that stands behind the email that
08:09we improved, that's the type of character who can attract and keep high quality people in his life.
08:16And your life changes when you start thinking that way. When you send an email like the original one,
08:24you're not going to do good in life. Yeah, you can manipulate somebody, but you manipulate
08:30below you. That's the key. You don't manipulate upward, you manipulate downward. So you're going
08:37to stay stuck with turkeys, manipulators, idiots, low value people, low quality people. Don't live
08:44such a life. Become a higher quality person and you will attract higher quality people,
08:49live a higher quality, better life. Thank you so much for listening again, guys,
08:53and I'll see you the next time. Ciao, ciao.