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Lucio Buffalmano is a sociologist and a world expert on power dynamics, strategies, and men's self-development.
In 2016, Lucio founded ThePowerMoves.com to help good men empower themselves, achieve their goals, and win at life.
Today, it’s the world's most popular website on power and strategies.
https://thepowermoves.com/
Lucio Buffalmano is a sociologist and a world expert on power dynamics, strategies, and men's self-development.
In 2016, Lucio founded ThePowerMoves.com to help good men empower themselves, achieve their goals, and win at life.
Today, it’s the world's most popular website on power and strategies.
https://thepowermoves.com/
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LearningTranscript
00:00But I don't want you to think I'm triggered by you. I'm not I think you're annoying
00:04It's an interesting interaction. Let's get going. I hear you. I I guess that you're saying you don't want to share your relationship status
00:11You can already see that. She's a very good communicator first. She confirms. Yeah, I hear you you're saying that she repeats she rephrases
00:18She gets on the same page and then she makes her point. Yes, but then you just said people are hiding it and being a coward
00:23So I guess I think there's a difference between not wanting to share one's relationship status
00:28Publicly on a platform like this versus when I have a big internet following and like
00:33Offices that you can google and all kinds of things like that. I don't want to I don't want that smoke for people in my life
00:38I see. Yeah, can I ask you one more question fire away?
00:42She is so socially skilled very respectful very warm
00:47And at the same time she still makes her point now watch how things change very fast
00:53Okay
00:55If you
00:56Have a place in only one place in your heart for one woman or you want to have one woman in your heart
01:00I think you said
01:02Notice already the difference. She's fully phasing him
01:06And he's giving her the shoulder. There is a saying giving the cold shoulder. This is exactly that
01:13Why don't you just commit to one and choose to be faithful to her?
01:17I'm, just not wired that way. I spent my whole 20s trying to fix myself. I thought something was wrong with me
01:22You work out
01:23Oh now this is where it gets hot
01:26He was being very vulnerable. He shared a weakness. He tried to fix himself for a decade
01:33Usually you don't want to share that
01:35That's not very high power
01:38Very high power confident people do not spend a decade trying to fix who they are
01:43They just love themselves the way they are
01:46It's okay in his case. He needed some fixing
01:49He shared it but now she's using it against him, but it's a fair point
01:55You do business. You can possess your own your own power and she's not directed
02:00She is hitting hard and he hates it. He hates it because he's a very high power guy
02:06You can see the way he talks. He talks with a deep voice. He talks low
02:11He's also a bit disrespectful with his body language, which is also sometimes a sign of dominance
02:18And also the way he dresses. We could here do some armchair
02:23Psychologizing about some traits of his. You can probably guess where i'm going
02:29A guy like this is very high power
02:31He doesn't like what she implied. She implied that he doesn't have the strength to change
02:37However, notice the frame. The frame is that if he changes it's better
02:43He makes a mistake here to accept that frame
02:46Not how I am you think that might be a limited mindset
02:50I think it's none of your business, but
02:52Boom, she got to him, but I don't want you to think i'm triggered by you. I'm not
02:56If he says that he is triggered by her and the problem here is that he accepted the covert frame
03:04Without challenging it again
03:06The covert frame is that it's good if he changes because what she's proposing is better
03:14He does not challenge that so he's reacting more at an emotional level
03:18Which is interesting because he's trying to be all alpha male stoic type
03:23However, he's still reacting here at an emotional level high power, but still emotionally reactive
03:30I saw somebody say that I think that's interesting. I think you're annoying, but i'm not sure
03:35You know what i'm saying? No, you are you're annoying
03:38Uh, yeah, you know, this is an emotional reaction. He got angry again
03:43She's laughing she's reactive
03:47To him to what he says. She doesn't push back. So in that sense, she's not dominant
03:53However, she's super high power. She's able to accept it. She doesn't push back. She doesn't take it personally and look again
04:01She's not
04:03Hurt, it's not a fake smile. Her smile is honest and she's still fully facing him
04:09Maybe she could place her hand on the table rather than here. Somebody may think this is like a phallic holding thing
04:18But otherwise she's an absolute beast
04:21And by the way, he's also a beast we are nitpicking here
04:25But these are two high power people in very different way
04:29However, they can be two good role models him for the fellas and she for the ladies
04:35In like this goody two shoes type way and that's fine
04:39I'm gonna live
04:40He makes a good point that she represent the good indeed. She's the christian hasn't had sex before marriage, etc, etc
04:49And he's more the player type
04:51by the way, I think
04:53maybe
04:54This much opening in your shirt could be too much even if you want to sub communicate that you're more of a player type
05:00You know, how many buttons do you need to undo to say that usually it's better to sub communicate things
05:07More at a subtle level rather than too overly obvious. However, this is more about personal
05:14preferences
05:16My life also I wanted you to notice the difference look
05:21The way he talks to her. He does not look at her and he looks down again giving the cold shoulders to her
05:29But when he wanted to talk and say something nice look how much the body language changes
05:36Now he opens up to her he looks at her directly because now he feels more comfortable
05:44Before here he was feeling under attack and there is also a very interesting
05:50Scene that tells you a lot about the dynamics and the communication mistakes that were done here
05:56Multiple women and everything. I think deep down we want a love that stays a love that lasts and it is possible for everyone
06:03Every single person. Yeah, she's a little bit of a goody good shoes at this table
06:08I guarantee you a thousand percent. It is possible for you not for asexual
06:11Yeah, but I would argue that like who are you to tell me that i'm not going to be happy because I don't choose your
06:15path
06:16See this tells you a lot about the emotional power dynamics and what we call the judge
06:22power in the power moves
06:25She has the judge role
06:27She was telling you can be happy, but he is not happy with her
06:33But he does not accept that she's being the judge
06:37For how to be happy here
06:39He wants now to prove and to show that he's actually as happy as she is or more
06:45I don't think I said that that pretty much you reframed it in that way
06:49So who are you to say that I will say do you think i'm gonna be less happy than you?
06:52I think you think i'm gonna be less happy than you see he took it personally now
06:56He wants to make the point that he's as happy as her and ideally deep down
07:02He wants her to accept it and to confirm because she's the judge at this table like it or not
07:09He's higher power more dominant richer. But right now she is the judge about what makes people happy and he's
07:17Reacting and rejecting their role, but she's still the one holding the reins
07:24There is one note here. I want to make and it's he is more the high value alpha male type of guy
07:30And I don't doubt he is I don't want to talk about masculinity at all. He does however in my opinion
07:38men
07:39Do not talk about happiness
07:41He should not give a fuck about who is happier or who is less happy
07:46Sometimes to understand concepts. It's helpful to go to an extreme. So let's go to an extreme
07:52Imagine 2 000 years ago. Caesar. He was building his empire. He was marching with his legions
07:59He was conquering land. He was plotting to become the king of rome
08:03Do you think he was worried at all?
08:06About being happy or about whether him or another senator or his girl was happier than he was
08:13No, he didn't give a fuck
08:15All he cared was about building his empire. So in general, I will say yes
08:20Happiness is important and blah blah blah, but don't make it too big of a deal, especially not reacting to people
08:27Now what's also interesting is that I followed in a way closer to his path than to her
08:34but if a woman like her
08:37Was to tell me
08:39I think i'm happier because I have a nice family and blah blah blah. I would probably say
08:45Maybe you're right
08:47You don't need her to approve of you or to think that you are happier than her
08:54You can be totally fine with her happier than you are or thinking
08:58She's happier than you are and you don't need to reject that now. I would like to quickly talk about
09:05his personality a little bit
09:07They think and I see it all the time in comments. Yeah, but these guys live empty lives. None of them ever have families
09:13See again, he takes it personally that people disapprove of his lifestyle, but now hear what he says. This is important
09:21I have children asshole, you know what i'm saying? Like plural
09:26Yeah, you don't have
09:27To be like so public about it as well. Like it's up to you if you don't also not scared to yeah
09:34He takes pride in having a lot of children and a big family and being happier than others
09:40In my opinion this is a case about a guy who is very driven
09:45To power and dominance and he chose his own path
09:48However, he's still not fully comfortable with the path he has chosen
09:53So he still resents the fact that some people in society disapprove of him
09:59We could also talk again about other possible traits. This guy possess
10:04But again, i'm gonna leave it as a hint for you to think of
10:08however
10:10What I want to say that sometimes happens and i'm not saying it happens in this case
10:14Is that some people are very successful because of machiavellianism sometimes even high end psychopathy
10:22but
10:23they
10:24undermine themselves with
10:27Narcissism, which is something that also happened to andrew tate andrew tate
10:33He could be a very successful guy, but he undermined himself because he can't help but brag
10:39and
10:40Andrew tate in my opinion is much higher in psychopathy
10:44Darker traits and is much more of a taker is more of an asshole
10:49And I don't approve of him and now you will see why and you will get the point of narcissism
10:56undermining
10:57his success
10:58They told staff I trained would do all the talking the girls were just pure just famoosers just laughing and doing this
11:06Their titties out and they were talking to fucking ice cold hustlers. We were taking their money all
11:12See he can't help himself but to brag. However, I think justin is a better guy much better guy
11:18The two of them are friends which can tell you something who people associate with
11:23But andrew tate is a much darker guy
11:26And he can't help not just
11:29To brag but he brags about taking and stealing from people
11:33think about that and what boggles my mind and bothers me is that there are
11:40Thousands of guys who don't even see this
11:43They see the side where he helps them or he says he wants to help them
11:47But then listen to him. He's bragging about taking money from the guys that he's supposed to help
11:54Of it they they come and say what kind of all of it I had these guys selling their houses life savings
12:02See how proud he is of that owns all of it to me basic shit, right? You'd have a guy bad enough. Fuck. No
12:10What do you make of that
12:12But justin sometimes does something
12:15somewhat similar
12:17Life and business and war and all these different things you have to choose when you're going to strike
12:21And I don't think right now is the make sense he's talking here about being strategic we could say about machiavellianism
12:29Intelligent time to do so
12:30If I can build rapport with somebody advice or somebody at youtube and get the channel back. What's the greater good for me?
12:37What's the best outcome for me in the end?
12:39Is it is it talking trash about somebody on the internet? That's why I don't talk trash about people
12:45on podcast
12:46For what?
12:47For what i'm not insecure about who I am so I don't need to talk poorly about you in regards to vice
12:53Yeah, they did it and they were proud to do it, but they don't so he's talking about vice who made a hit piece against him
12:59But he still later went on to talk to them and build some rapport and friendships and friendship because he say it was good for him
13:07but
13:09He's disclosing that
13:11And now listen what he says, you know me
13:14and if they did
13:15I'm, almost certain just like anybody that doesn't like me on the internet or like me
13:20You too
13:21So all I need is an opportunity for you to get to know who I am
13:25That's it
13:26And I think there's probably a pretty important lesson for any young man, especially a red-blooded aggressive man like me
13:31I he says red-blooded some psychologists may say there are also other
13:37underlying traits they feel the anger
13:41But objective feel the anger that also tells you something about people's psychology and by the way
13:46I'm, not saying it's bad feeling the anger is good
13:49Way too many too nice guys should be more in touch with their anger and with their drive to revenge when it's fair
13:58Definitely you sit back and you say okay, but what there is a lot to learn from this guy, by the way
14:02I'm criticizing a lot and I think the criticism is valid. I think there is some darker traits
14:10That you may not want to completely copy
14:12However, he's a very successful guy and I want to say something good about him. He's a straight talker. He doesn't hide
14:19I think Andrew Tate is a gas lighter
14:21We also have examples on our channel look them up, but this guy talks a lot more straight. I respect that
14:27Actually makes sense. I'm not big on you know, talking about stoicism, but you could argue that having stoicism in some of these moments
14:35Are going to benefit you in the long run far more than anything else
14:39Because if you're truly mad
14:41Acting in that moment is probably not the best best retaliation. Anyway
14:45Plotting making a plan and executing that plan over time. That's what's dangerous
14:50And so I think that a dangerous person
14:53Would actually not be emotional even if they're angry
14:57And then really calculate what they wanted to do about it and then strike in that way
15:02Not that I will vice
15:05See
15:06He gave it away
15:07Think about the sub communication of all of this
15:11He basically said I went to vice to talk to them because it was good for me
15:16But deep down I hate them. It was a plot because it was good for me
15:21But when the time is right, I will seek my revenge and then he says, ah, no, no, I was joking, bro
15:28You gave it away same mistake as Andrew Tate
15:31luckily
15:33there is nothing illegal here and
15:36It's fair to feel like this when people made a hit piece about you
15:41It's still not smart to say it
15:43He laughs about it, but he gave his game away and that's weak because this is a public podcast. It's popular
15:51Now anybody who sees this from vice will forward it to the person he was talking about
15:56They will know what's up and they will think of him as a sneaky motherfucker
16:00So Ian did all the good work and he was also banned from youtube and he was saying that he was also talking to youtube
16:07And he was doing good inroads
16:09But now youtube heard the same thing and they know what he truly thinks about them that he hates them
16:16And that he plots revenge
16:18one last interesting example from this guy that also tells you something about somebody's
16:25Psychology is this video here. It's my most impactful vision of something. I want to happen because of the actions I take
16:31There's a table. It has all of my children, maybe a hundred of them and then from there. I just want them to have choice
16:38See in the first podcast he said that he didn't want to share how many children he has what are his goal?
16:44What relationships he has but then in the other podcasts a lot of times he cannot resist bragging and
16:52Sharing or over sharing sometimes
16:56But certainly a lot yeah gentleman walks in the room i'm gone died days before
17:02And he unloads
17:03The trust structure how I set it all up and my kids are like he did what and he moved
17:10See this could be read as a narcissistic trait
17:14He wants others to look up to him even after he's gone
17:18He wants his children to think what a great big man he was trust and now we don't have to pay tax
17:27Also the fact that
17:29He does the structure in a way so that they don't have to pay any tax which in many ways is smart
17:34However, as for most things you want to look at them in a spectrum somebody
17:39who overthinks over plans to pay zero taxes and
17:44Also finds shenanigans sometimes gray area or illegal
17:49That's a little bit too much on the other side on taking as much as possible and it's also red flag
17:55so I don't know the person but usually when I hear people talking like this to me, it's a first red flag I
18:02Pay more attention to that person because i'm thinking I want to be careful if this person
18:09Can be a good friend of mine or if we could be business partners and if we become business partners
18:15Just because somebody talks like that. I would be extra careful
18:22I'm gone. He saved me like 40 percent on my yeah. Yeah. I'm writing prenuptial agreements for my daughter's husband. So they know they don't get
18:31The way he talks again, he doesn't say
18:35So that my daughters are protected
18:37There will be the giving side instead he thinks
18:40The husband of my daughters will not get shit
18:44See the way he says it too. You will not get shit. It's all about taking me me me me me
18:49Fuck you that tells you a lot also because you can do this but with a different
18:55More prosocial attitude, which will be I will protect my daughters instead
19:01He's thinking about
19:03Taking away from others you don't get shit. Anyway, let's quickly wrap up about this guy
19:09I've been very critical so far and that was the goal of this review
19:12My reviews tend to be more critical if you want to hear
19:15Nice things and only nice things there are other channels for you
19:20But I don't want to sound only critical because there are something I appreciate about this guy to begin with in general
19:27He's certainly a high value guy. He is also a typical alpha male type of guy
19:32Whether he's a quality or not
19:34I'm, not sure the difference between high value is high value. It has no morals or ethics attached
19:41High quality. It also means you're a honorable man. You have some values some ethics honorable man. You can trust the high value guy
19:51Up in the air let's say but there is something honorable about him at least on what he says
19:55He says that he's very open with his girlfriends
19:57He's very open that it's not a one-on-one relationship that is not going to be sexually faithful and that is not going to commit
20:04And that I appreciate a lot and to me it stands in stark contrast to his friend Andrew Tate
20:11Who will bite all the dominance that he puts out
20:15He's a gas lighter and manipulator. This guy instead is a straight talker
20:19And that's one trait that I think we can all learn from. Cheers guys
20:27You