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Lucio Buffalmano is a sociologist and a world expert on power dynamics, strategies, and men's self-development.
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Today, it’s the world's most popular website on power and strategies.
https://thepowermoves.com/
Lucio Buffalmano is a sociologist and a world expert on power dynamics, strategies, and men's self-development.
In 2016, Lucio founded ThePowerMoves.com to help good men empower themselves, achieve their goals, and win at life.
Today, it’s the world's most popular website on power and strategies.
https://thepowermoves.com/
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LearningTranscript
00:00Dr. K dominated Dr. Mike because Dr. Mike was too much of a nice guy. Let's learn more.
00:06Hi guys, so this is an interesting discussion between Dr. Mike and Dr. K.
00:11Just as a background, Dr. Mike represents evidence-based medicine, what we usually
00:18call medicine, while Dr. K represents more the eastern philosophy that today often means more
00:25woo woo that is not very well backed by science. We're not discussing medicine here,
00:30we are discussing social and power dynamics. And Dr. K dominated, and in my opinion,
00:37humiliated Dr. Mike. Let's see together why. I think that some of this stuff is quite
00:42revolutionary because it helps me understand. So even like, for example, depression,
00:48understanding like, okay, what is this person's Ayurvedic dosha? It helps inform me about how...
00:53Well, you judge for yourself if that make any sense to you. But again, let's not discuss the
00:59merit of eastern medicine, which, by the way, in itself is the wrong frame. This is a frame
01:05very convenient to woo woo gurus because they can call medicine western, but there is no western
01:12medicine. There is evidence-based medicine that rests on scientific principles, and that is true
01:19in the west, in the east, in the north, in the south, on Mars, on Neptune, and wherever you go.
01:25So that's already the first manipulative frame. Watch out for it.
01:32The voice can already be improved from Dr. Mike. It's a little bit too high pitched in my opinion.
01:49Since so much of it is inaccurate, and there's a few things that you think is very valuable,
01:52why not take the concepts of those things, like improving the cognitive fingerprinting of modern
01:59tools, focusing more on the individual approach, and stop calling it and talking about Ayurvedic
02:06medicine? Because it's sexy to talk about Ayurvedic medicine because people are passionate about it.
02:12But 90% plus is crap. Boom. And yet I feel like we're keeping it afloat.
02:18Well, I don't know that it's crap, and you don't know.
02:22This is also a very manipulative frame. How can you be sure of anything 100%? Of course,
02:27you cannot be sure of anything 100%. However, if we are using science to measure and to test
02:36things, we know that very well. It is 90% crap. I know that it's crap.
02:44Well, we know that it's crap because of how it got to where it is.
02:49Maybe not the perfect reply. Maybe he should have said, because we tested it and it doesn't work,
02:56they would have closed the argument much more effectively. However, he's trying to be a little
03:02bit more accommodating. That is an issue for too many nice guys. It's good to be accommodating
03:07when you are dealing with other honest, good people. However, some other people will take
03:13advantage of your accommodating approach to use it against you and to dominate you. Let's see.
03:21A lack of reliability, the randomization.
03:24No, but we don't know it's crap. We just don't know that it's not crap.
03:29Can you see the manipulative tool there?
03:33And when someone makes a claim that this water will prevent you from dying,
03:39this is the anti-aging water. Do you know that this is not going to prevent you from living
03:45forever? Do you know that I'm lying about this? No, I don't.
03:48Right? You need to do a trial. But I'm very comfortable as a doctor now saying,
03:54no, that's not happening. Because mechanistically, it's not there. The evidence isn't there. And I've
04:00gotten to the point where even though... So Mike, what frustrates you so much about it?
04:05Man, this is so fucking manipulative. What frustrates you so much? Look, if you accept
04:12this frame, now the frame becomes that you are frustrated, that there is something wrong with
04:18you and not the fact that this type of medicine, however you pronounce it here, has not stood the
04:24test of evidence. Ayurvedic medicine.
04:29I'll tell you why. It leads to a fundamental misunderstanding of...
04:34Not too bad of an answer. However, it could have said what I just said. I have no personal
04:40problem with it. The problem this approach has is with science. We tested it. It does not work.
04:48It does not stand the test of data and evidence. It's not about me. It's about
04:55what works and what doesn't work. There would have been a much stronger reply.
04:59It doesn't do too bad here. Let's see.
05:01Healthcare for a large percentage of patients. It opens room for health gurus and hucksters
05:08to take advantage. Yeah, Dr. K may be one of them.
05:14To people. And it actually diverts our attention from ways that we can improve medicine.
05:23Okay. So now I'm understanding this conversation a lot.
05:27This guy is such a little sneaky manipulative fuck.
05:34So I noticed that this was becoming very antagonistic.
05:38Man, look at his face. Look at his eyes. He does have a little bit of an antagonistic attitude.
05:44However, now he frames the conversation as becoming antagonistic.
05:48So he makes it personal between him and Mike instead of being the brand of medicine that
05:55he represents to be baseless.
05:59Antagonistic, which was really weird because I actually agree with the majority of what you're
06:03saying.
06:03He doesn't. They come from completely different positions. However, this is, again,
06:08a very manipulative approach because now it is acting with words, at least very
06:15negotiative, very accommodating, very nice, very win-win type of approach.
06:20But now that begets the same approach back because of social exchange.
06:27If I'm being this kind and open to talk type of guy, then you should be the same back.
06:34And Dr. Mike falls for this.
06:38I see that. Yeah. Right. So I'm the first to kind of say, like, I'm the one who said,
06:42hey, like 90% of it, I think could be crap.
06:45No, before he said 90% of it is crap. Now he changed it.
06:50It could be crap, but Dr. Mike does not challenge it.
06:56And so I was kind of struck a little bit. And then that's when I realized,
06:59like, I'm not talking to someone who has an open mind.
07:02Bro, fuck, man. Can you see what this guy has done?
07:06I'm not talking to somebody who has an open mind.
07:09He's saying you don't have an open mind, but he's using a little bit better and less
07:16aggressive words just to covertly reach the same goal.
07:20Now he's defensive. Now he wants to prove him wrong.
07:23He wants to prove he has an open mind. If he falls for it, which he does.
07:29I'm talking to someone who has a mind made up.
07:33Man, again, he's making about the two of them and that he's at fault.
07:40He must not fall for this. It's not about me and you.
07:43It's about the weight of the evidence that is all against your brand of medicine.
07:52As simple as that, man. But he falls for it.
07:55Talking about it from a truth seeking perspective.
07:58So my mind...
07:59This is wrong because the truth is out there. The evidence is there.
08:05You don't need to have a conversation about this.
08:08But now with this attitude that he takes, he makes it up for discussion, which it should not be.
08:17Mine's not made up. If you presented some data or information here...
08:20It's not too bad. It's not too bad.
08:22However, what he should say is that the tests have already been done.
08:27It doesn't work.
08:28The onus is on you to prove all that evidence wrong.
08:32Do your research. Do your tests.
08:35Bring the data that disproves everything that we know so far.
08:39And I will believe you.
08:40Now it's up to him to prove that his woo woo BS actually works, which he could not.
08:47But Dr. Mike doesn't do that.
08:52That showed Ayurvedic medicine is way more accurate than you think it is.
08:56I would have changed my mind today.
09:00Yeah, so...
09:03He's thinking about the best angle he can take to win the argument.
09:08He's not there to have an honest conversation.
09:12So that's... It's interesting, but I think...
09:14I definitely have a bias.
09:16Yeah, so...
09:17Fuck, man, you don't have a bias.
09:21Your bias is being on the side of data and evidence.
09:25That is not a bias, for Christ's sake.
09:30He conceded here. He rolled over.
09:33Bad, bad, bad, Mr. Mike.
09:36You should have stood there, not just for yourself, but for science itself and the world.
09:42I lost a lot of respect for this guy.
09:45And I'm sorry to say it, because he's such a nice guy.
09:48And that's his fault.
09:50Too nice.
09:53What I've learned so far...
09:54How is this conversation for you emotionally?
09:57God damn it.
10:00Such a manipulative sneaky fuck.
10:03Do you see it?
10:04How is this conversation for you emotional?
10:06It's not emotional, dumbass.
10:10You are being a sneaky fuck, not me being emotional.
10:14Of course, you could not expect that from Mike.
10:17And yeah, I'm sorry.
10:18Falls for it again.
10:19Exciting.
10:21In what way?
10:23So do you feel anything besides excitement?
10:25Full excitement?
10:26What a sneaky fuck.
10:27Now he's acting like the therapist of the situation.
10:31The rule of thumb for power dynamics is the person who asks questions leads the conversation.
10:38The person who replies complies and follows.
10:42Finding a way to truth seek together.
10:44No, no, no, you're not.
10:46You're falling for it.
10:47So because I agree with you, but I think there are a couple of things to keep in mind.
10:51Again, this is manipulative bridge seeking while in truth is promoting and defending his angle.
10:58And what I'm also detecting from you is like,
11:00I think I'm detecting this emotion of frustration because of hucksters and these kinds of people.
11:05He's feeding back to him what he just said just to prove that he's a good therapist.
11:12But he just fucking told you don't fall for this crap.
11:16So I think your understanding of Ayurveda comes from these people.
11:20It's just been really interesting.
11:21Now I understand a lot more why this conversation is going the way that it is,
11:24which is that you're asking me all these questions,
11:26which I get the sense that you're sort of open to the answer, but...
11:31Oh man, he's becoming the judge.
11:36You are sort of open.
11:37You're kinda there, but not there yet.
11:40Follow my lead and you will become even more open minded.
11:44And Dr. Mike falls for it.
11:46But I think you're asking questions that are not open-ended questions.
11:50You're asking questions where you already have a hypothesis.
11:53It's not a hypothesis.
11:55It doesn't work based on evidence.
11:59And you are asking me to reflect upon that hypothesis
12:03or even counter that hypothesis or support it.
12:06That's fair.
12:07I think that you would benefit from studying Ayurveda.
12:11God, man.
12:13Now if Dr. Mike accepts it,
12:16he falls for the frame that he doesn't know anything about this medicine
12:22and that there is a lot of benefit to learn here and that he must learn it.
12:26So if he accepts it, Dr. K here becomes the authority of this conversation
12:32and of this type of medicine in general,
12:35which Dr. Mike would have no recourse against.
12:39And now listen what he says.
12:41Like medicine.
12:41Agreed, which is what I'm hoping in this conversation.
12:45Fuck, man.
12:45This is so weak.
12:47Not only he agrees, he even says,
12:49I'm hoping to get from this conversation.
12:51The frame is I'm hoping to learn from you.
12:55Now Dr. K becomes the teacher, the authority.
12:59He becomes the students, the pupil, the learner,
13:03and he loses all his power and leverage.
13:05I'm sorry, Dr. Mike.
13:07You're a good guy, but you lost here big time.
13:09So overall, I don't want to sound mean towards Dr. Mike.
13:12Again, I'm saying this because he's a nice guy.
13:16What we do here is to help good people like him
13:19to understand better manipulation, power dynamics,
13:23social power dynamics, persuasion and influence.
13:26You cannot go out there in the world with this nice guy attitude
13:29because you're going to lose to people who are more aggressive,
13:32more domineering, more dominant.
13:34Dr. K is very dominant.
13:36Don't fall for his eastern medicine type of woo-woo.
13:39He's a very aggressive guy, socially very aggressive.
13:42He's always playing the teacher role.
13:44He's always beating back when attacked.
13:47He knows his power dynamics.
13:49He's got that natural inner power with him.
13:52Learn your power dynamics and take a good stand in the world.
13:55Cheers, guys.