Crayon Shin Chan EP1
anime,jdrama,cartoon
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00One! Two! Three! Ha!
00:04Shin-Chan!
00:08Shin's Allowance
00:12Hey, Dorji, how much allowance are you getting these days?
00:15A sweet fifty bills a week, plus stock options.
00:18Wow, that's a lot!
00:20Are your parents doctors, lawyers, or Jews?
00:22You could buy a whole monkey with that.
00:24And you could buy a brain.
00:26Now pull up your damn pants already.
00:28So, Shin, what kind of allowance are your folks giving you?
00:31A whole lot of nothing.
00:33Pants! Pull up your freaking pants!
00:35Whenever I need money, I have to ask my mom for it.
00:38But she never gives me any.
00:40She thinks everything I want to buy is dumb.
00:42What's wrong with Viagra and Action Bastard tighties?
00:45Do you know how sad that makes you?
00:47You're an embarrassment to kids everywhere.
00:49She's playing you for a sucker.
00:51Crowd goes wild!
00:53Hey, you know what? You should ask for a weekly allowance
00:55so you don't have to keep begging for money.
00:57Sweet, but what if she won't go for it?
00:59Go on strike, like one of those lazy Teamsters.
01:01Throw a baseball at my mother?
01:03Not that kind of strike, moron.
01:05Okay, I'm confused.
01:06Stop doing chores.
01:07That's what our mexi-mate does whenever she wants a raise from my dad.
01:10Oh, I get it.
01:12What? You want an allowance?
01:14You just waste it on stupid kiddie crap
01:16like trading cards, video games, and crystal meth.
01:19But Maso and Georgie's parents give them weekly allowances!
01:22Well, if their parents gave them weekly horse whippings,
01:24would you want one of those too?
01:26Depends. You still hit like a girl.
01:28Listen, Shin.
01:30How can you handle an allowance when you can't even wipe your own ass?
01:33I can still wipe my ass!
01:35Your skid marks disagree.
01:36But Mom!
01:37Now what?
01:39I forgot to wipe again.
01:41Actually, I'd say that proves you're not ready for an allowance yet.
01:44Well, you're gonna pay for not paying!
01:47My, he's grown up so fast.
01:49I was 24 and married when I asked for my first allowance.
01:52Allowance?
01:54Huh?
01:55Allow-ance-piece?
01:57Why would I do that?
01:59Duh! Can't you read? It says allowance, please!
02:01Now you've left me no choice! I'm going on spike!
02:03You mean you're going to start injecting heroin?
02:05Why should I?
02:07Now listen! If you don't give me an allowance,
02:09there's gonna be hell to pay! Crazy hell!
02:12Oh no, Shin! I'm so scared!
02:14Brace yourself, you cheap ass!
02:16I refuse to...
02:19...do any more chores.
02:21Ha! Like you ever have!
02:25That was about as shocking as a sailor with syphilis.
02:28You won't shock! I'll shock you full of shock!
02:31Yo, yo! What do we want?
02:34Allowance! And when do we want it?
02:36Right now!
02:37A protest rally, huh?
02:392-6-9-4! We won't take it anymore!
02:43I never should have let him watch the History Channel.
02:471-5-3-8! Cut the crap! Negotiate!
02:52Ready to meet my demands now?
02:54What if I'm not?
02:55It's gonna be shocking!
02:57Let's see what you got then!
03:00Until you give me an allowance?
03:03Oh yeah? What?
03:07I vow to never pee again!
03:12Is it too late to abort?
03:15Booyah! Bet you wish you'd given me an allowance now!
03:18I wish I'd given you a diaper today.
03:32Give me an allowance!
03:34It's only been an hour!
03:36Allowance!
03:37What are you? The Gandhi of urine?
03:39Give me an allowance!
03:44Give me an allowance!
03:54Guess I should be grateful that was strike one and not strike two.
04:00Oh no! Someone's at the door.
04:03Probably some ghetto kid selling candy.
04:06I'll just stay quiet.
04:08Yo! I knew you weren't here, Georgie!
04:10Shin! You can't just barge in like this!
04:12And I'd lock doors and open doors as far as I see it.
04:15Well?
04:16All my strikes struck out. My mom still won't give me an allowance.
04:19Hmm. You'll have to move on to blackmail.
04:22Do you know any secrets she's keeping? Drugs? Drunken sex parties?
04:25Uh-huh. Uh-huh. I don't know about any drunken insect parties.
04:29But I do know a few things Mom hides around the house.
04:32As for you...
04:34What are you doing in here anyway?
04:36What's it look like I'm doing?
04:38Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
04:39Well, don't forget to wipe your ass!
04:41Later, yo!
04:42At least shut the door, jerk!
04:47Mommy!
04:49Oh, calm down, Shin. Just be glad you don't work in a sweatshop.
04:52Oh, yeah? Well, I'd rather sell sweat in some store than keep on being your personal slave boy.
04:57Oh, is that so?
04:59This is your last chance, Mom, or I'll tell Dad you hide money behind the wall scroll for your booby job.
05:05Oh, yeah? Well, I'll just hide it somewhere else before he gets home and then he'll think you're a liar.
05:11Then I'll oversleep every day so I miss the bust of that crappy American school you put me in.
05:18Well, I'll just have to take you on my bike every day so you don't get expelled from this school, too.
05:23No way. Winter's coming. You'd freeze to death.
05:26I hate cycling when it's cold. That seat doesn't get any friendlier.
05:30But I guess I could use the exercise.
05:33You'll be so popular when you show up on the back of Mommy's bike.
05:37And maybe some days I can borrow a car and drive you.
05:41You know what a safe, non-crazy driver I am.
05:44I know about all those Fendi chocolate truffles you stash in the cupboard for when you're crampy.
05:49Say, those were gone when I looked for them this afternoon.
05:53Every hour you don't give me my allowance, I'll feed one to Whitey.
05:57So it really was you.
05:59Oh, you bet it was, and I've hidden them in a place you'll never find them.
06:03Let me guess, your toy box?
06:08Not that it matters.
06:10I've been meaning to lose weight, and not eating chocolate will certainly help that.
06:14Thanks, Shin.
06:32Uh, what's wrong with Shin?
06:34Let's just say the strike's over.
06:36And then all my hope is gone.
06:47A very wrong engagement.
06:52Ah, there she goes.
06:54I, the most beautiful girl in the world.
06:57Oh, I, if only you knew how I felt about you.
07:00I'd do anything for you.
07:02If anyone ever hurt you, I'd make them pay.
07:06Oh, God, the hair thing.
07:09She did the hair thing.
07:15No, took out the human fart box.
07:18Of course.
07:19Um, I'm just wondering, if you're not doing anything Sunday, maybe we could hang out?
07:23Sorry, I think I'm going to be busy picking my nose or something.
07:26Oh, well.
07:27Okay, I mean, if you've already got plans and everything, I totally understand.
07:31I guess I did sort of spring the idea on you suddenly.
07:35Oh, he's got to be insane.
07:37Tell you what, if you and your nose are free next Sunday, go ahead and pencil me in, alright?
07:41It's a date.
07:45Wow, a kiss! That's like the best thing a girl can blow!
07:53What? That ungrateful little prick!
07:56Oh, poor I.
07:57She's crying!
07:59Oh, that does it!
08:00I have to defend my love's honor even if she doesn't know I exist!
08:09Miss, you alright? You want me to punch him in the junk?
08:11I got dirt in my eye.
08:14Wait, what did you just say?
08:16Hey, Shin!
08:17Yo.
08:18I propose a match between you and me! Horsey poop park after school! Be there!
08:33He proposed? Masa wants to marry me?
08:43I didn't know you had such strong feelings for me, Masa.
08:46Yeah, well, I can't deny these feelings any longer!
08:48Oh, sorry, man. I know I'm cute and all, but I always thought we were just friends.
08:53You see, a man's love knows no bounds! After school, your ass is mine!
08:57That's how he acts. This marriage is never gonna work out.
09:02Hey, Masa, what's with the hissy fit?
09:04You and Shin got something heavy going on?
09:06It's a private matter! It's nobody's business but ours!
09:11What does private matter mean?
09:13My dad says the same thing when he doesn't want Mom to call the cops.
09:16Okay, but what's going on with Shin and Masa?
09:18Please, like you don't know!
09:33Yo, teacher!
09:34I'm on break, Shin. Can't it wait?
09:36Guess it's time for my urine tantrum.
09:38What's wrong?
09:40I kinda need advice about something.
09:42About what?
09:43Someone wants to knock booties with me!
09:51Are you sure? Who said that to you?
09:53Yeah, who?
09:54It was Maso.
09:56It was Maso?
09:58I say, he's never shown up on my gaydar before.
10:01You know, now that I think of it, Maso always has been rather sensitive.
10:04Homo!
10:06I don't know what to do! He's my friend and I don't want to break his heart, but I'm not into dudes like that!
10:10Don't ask, don't tell.
10:12Now sit down and listen, Shin.
10:14Yo.
10:15Don't worry about the whole boy-boy thing, okay?
10:17You're both far too young to get married.
10:19It's not like we live in Kentucky.
10:21So, you're saying I should wait a couple years, grow some bald hair, and then marry him?
10:25Just say no, okay?
10:26Oh.
10:27Okay, I guess. Well, thanks for your help.
10:33So the bald hair's not important?
10:35Goodbye, Shin.
10:38Well, that was certainly odd.
10:40You mean clear.
10:42I believe it is our duty as educators to treat all students the same, regardless of their orientation.
10:47Children are children, am I right?
10:49Right.
10:50Homo!
11:07Die, Shin, die!
12:07Ugh.
12:13Maso, I can't go through with this.
12:15I just don't feel the same way that you do, but I came here to tell you we shouldn't fight.
12:18We should be friends.
12:19We should be friends.
12:20We should be friends.
12:21We should be friends.
12:22We should be friends.
12:23We should be friends.
12:26Oh, so sensitive.
12:28I'm sorry.
12:29I blame my young-raging hormones.
12:32Oh, please, Shin!
12:33Promise me we'll never quarrel again!
12:37No!
12:42Next, they'll want to start adopting kids.
12:44It's like Brokeback, only with ugly boys.
12:46Next time we play house, Maso's the mommy.
12:50One fabulous day later.
13:07I want you to know, Maso, the faculty supports your lifestyle completely.
13:11Lifestyle?
13:12Your secret's safe with us, okay?
13:14Yeah.
13:15Not that there's anything wrong with it.
13:17No, of course not.
13:18Homo!
13:27Loopy in the sky with demons.
13:30Shin!
13:33Better hurry up and get dressed, sweetie!
13:37Don't make me come up there, Shin!
13:39Mommy's crampy today!
13:48You're gonna be late for school, you little...
13:54That's not like him to wear my boxers on his head.
13:56Usually he goes straight for your panties first thing in the morning.
13:59You think there's something wrong?
14:00I took his temp, and he scored 100.9.
14:03Yeah, that doesn't sound so good.
14:09I guess I'd better try and get that fever down.
14:11You should get him some ice cream.
14:13I'm sure the brain freeze will help.
14:15Well, off to work.
14:17Gee, thanks.
14:18Let's see.
14:19Maybe an ice pack will help.
14:22Hmm.
14:23Now where did I put it?
14:31Uh...
14:49That's ridiculous.
14:52I'm saved!
15:01Ah!
15:08Now, now, Hima.
15:10Why don't we go and find you some place to play besides your brother's face?
15:14A cool wet towel should feel better on your forehead than a warm poopy diaper.
15:23Hot damn! Pool party!
15:30Ha ha ha!
15:48Hot enough for you, kid?
15:50Who the hell are you?
15:52You mean little old me? You can call me...
15:57The Red Hot Fever Deep!
15:59Hotter than a mouthful of wasabi!
16:01Hotter than a sweatshop in July!
16:05Hotter than Angelina Jolie?
16:07Oh, well, nobody's that hot.
16:09Thought so.
16:17Hot damn, Mother! Hot!
16:20Ah, just brown and served!
16:23Ha ha!
16:24Welcome to my flaming griddle of doom, little man.
16:27Today's special's sweet and spicy shin wings.
16:30I hope you like them crispy.
16:44Action bastard!
16:45Right, kid, let's show this flaming broiled bitch who's boss.
16:48Yeah!
16:49Who's this, your ice dancer partner?
16:51It's Action Bastard!
16:52Think Captain Num Nuts can save you from the doom?
16:55Well, here's a hot flash for you.
16:58Oh, great blazing bastard puts a burden!
17:06Now, Shin-chan, let's kick some ass!
17:09Action!
17:13Run like the little bastard you are!
17:26Goddamn hot water!
17:27Get your tasty pops!
17:29Two, please!
17:30Coming right up.
17:32Here you go.
17:39Pineapple pepper tasty pops!
17:40All's that jalapeno and napalm!
17:42Hell no!
17:45Sticky butts!
17:47Their stickity sweetness will soothe our scorched clover!
17:50These are sticky butts!
17:56Oh!
18:03Giant cent scorpion, my action bastardness is useless here!
18:06Run like scorpions!
18:08Gasping, air, big fists!
18:10That's right!
18:11Run, you little piece of heads!
18:12Run like the wind!
18:15Oh, I can taste the stench!
18:20Look, a handy escape craft!
18:22We'll ride this devil horsecraft to safety!
18:29Where do you think you're going?
18:32Here's my honey when shiny!
18:34Foolish boy!
18:35Behold!
18:37My flaming ass crash of death!
18:44Venus, fire away, flatulence!
18:46Flatulence!
18:51Wait, she's out of gas!
18:52Oh, hot s***!
18:53It ain't over yet!
18:54Check this out!
18:56An abused baby's nightmare!
18:58A car parked in the sun for five hours!
19:02Admit it, suckers!
19:03My latest transformation is a heat stroke of genius!
19:08Yeah?
19:09Well, my joke may have left you cold, but my all-leather interior won't!
19:17Hey, action bastard!
19:19Doc just invented a weapon that's perfect for your current predicament!
19:22Lollipop!
19:23Smack that b***h up!
19:28Plot contributes whole!
19:30Liquid nitrogen bomb, blow!
19:47Good, his fever's gone down!
19:49What'd I tell ya?
19:51All he needed was some ice cream!
19:58Yo!
19:59Time to go!
20:16I'm sure I won't get by!
20:18But then I close my eyes and try to smile
20:22I know things are bad and getting worse
20:25But after all this I can rest a while
20:28And then I'll party, party
20:31Party, party, join us, join us
20:32Party, party, join us, join us
20:34Party, party, join us, join us
20:35Shake your day away and you can
20:37Party, party, join us, join us
20:38Party, party, join us, join us
20:40Party, party, join us, join us
20:42Shake your blues away!
20:47Yo!
20:48We're getting vacation on!
20:50This body's shaking and it ain't just shaking here
20:53I see that smile, you're grinning ear to ear
20:56Sing this song and you should really sing it clear
20:59Just sing along with us!
21:04Party, party, join us, join us
21:05Party, party, join us, join us
21:07Party, party, join us, join us
21:09Shake your day away and you can
21:11Party, party!
21:14Party!
21:17Party, party!