anime,jdrama,cartoon
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😹
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00:011, 2, 3, 4!
00:09Untrue romance?
00:13Wake up, sweetie.
00:14I've got to go teach all those wonderful, funny kids at school,
00:17and you need to start popping corn for your deliveries.
00:21I knew that dating a popcorn delivery man would be a dream come true for me.
00:24So what if you only make peanuts?
00:26It's still better than what ballpark peanut delivery men make.
00:29I'm just happy you're my man.
00:31Speaking of which, my parents would love to meet you,
00:33and seeing as how one works for NASA and the other's a respected brain surgeon,
00:37I'm sure you'll all get along swimmingly.
00:40Also, your brother keeps calling about some shipment of stuff you're supposed to have gotten.
00:45You know, the mailman doesn't always deliver,
00:47so you might have to go to the local branch to pick it up.
00:50Give me a kiss and I'll get up right now.
00:52Okay, but only if you promise to shower today.
00:57Let's go to second base. I think I'm ready.
01:02Stop making things up!
01:06For the last time, that's not how Doyle and I act, okay?
01:09Sorry, Ms. Anderson. Yeah, a penny sorry.
01:12You kids love to make fun of us
01:13because you think being with someone romantically is gross or scandalous
01:16or can give you cooties, but you're wrong.
01:17Other diseases, sure, but not cooties.
01:19Don't let them bother you, Ms. Anderson.
01:21I'm sure Mr. Doyle's a perfectly fine gentleman.
01:23Can his butt do funny stuff?
01:24A funny butt's the glue that keeps a couple together.
01:27Like you would know, Shin,
01:28the only thing I've seen you be affectionate with
01:29is that clump you pulled from your nose.
01:31I can't believe this! Stay out of my love life!
01:36But we were only teasing
01:37because we think it's totally cool you have a boyfriend, that's all.
01:40Uh, you do? So I'm like the cool teacher for you guys?
01:44Yeah, plus all we know about the other teachers
01:46is that Ms. Katz hasn't dated since Alpha's on there
01:48and Ms. Polly is legally retarded.
01:50Well, maybe I will open up more.
01:52Don't want to lose the cool teacher title.
01:54Yes, you should open up more.
01:56We haven't even met this Doyle yet.
01:58For all we know, he's just the name you've given your body pillow.
02:01Oh, we'll have you over soon.
02:03It's just that Doyle works late and I fall asleep so early.
02:05You know how exhausting
02:06putting those gold stars on children's papers can be.
02:08Oh, I doubt that's it.
02:10You're probably just too carried away
02:11with your hot, passionate new life
02:13to care any more about your friends at this school.
02:15Is that right?
02:16Lately, Ms. Anderson's been too tired
02:18to even care about her students.
02:20Huh?
02:21I bet at night when they're alone,
02:22they lay on their bed and...
02:26and eat a Denver omelet.
02:28What'd you think I was going to say?
02:30You need to stop making up stories
02:31about my home life, you little brats!
02:33They're not made up.
02:34They're on the bathroom walls.
02:35Yeah, with lots of pretty pictures, too.
02:38How do you know what's in the boys' bathroom, Penny?
02:41They're in the girls' bathroom also.
02:42I can't figure out what that big mushroom tower
02:44is supposed to be, though.
02:46Now, now, let's not tease Ms. Anderson
02:48for finally finding some love.
02:49This is a beautiful thing.
02:51We should all be so fortunate
02:52to have what she has without paying for it.
02:54It sucks to die alone, an old maid
02:56with a poor teaching career
02:57and not even a blind dog would you could love.
02:59Ms. Polly and I are old hens.
03:00We get it.
03:01I'm more of an owl.
03:02Ladies, ladies, please,
03:03no spinster talk in front of the kids, eh?
03:06Have you ever loved Principal Inchman?
03:08The whole idea sounds pretty funny to me.
03:11Like poodles.
03:12Huh?
03:13Love is like oxygen, my snotty friend.
03:15It's like breathing every breath
03:16through the mouth of a beautiful and ruminous woman
03:19who's eaten but roses and sweet honeys for an entire week.
03:24Ah, to be young and have long hairs again.
03:27And your love involved you
03:28and an actual human woman, right?
03:31Yes, she was real smarty trousers,
03:33but newly-aged was once synonymous with woman-pleasing.
03:35I live in a flat outside of town.
03:37One sink, one bed, no toilet.
03:40Small but nice.
03:41More of a snug than a magnum,
03:42but with personality.
03:43Okay, I get the idea.
03:44No toilet.
03:45We'll take the story from here.
03:47You see, there was a public bathroom nearby.
03:49It was in a very far walk,
03:50and on a clear day,
03:51you could see and smell it
03:52all the way from my little balcony.
03:55So romantic,
03:56with the farting and the pooping.
03:59Anyway, it was at this public crapper
04:01that I met the love of my life,
04:03Consuela.
04:07Flash one, I do,
04:08so our essence is merged in the pipes.
04:10All right, that's enough play acting.
04:12This is getting nasty, even for Shin.
04:14Huh?
04:16Sorry, I got caught up in the drama.
04:18I almost threw up.
04:19Let Bernoulli finish his story.
04:21Some of us would like to hear his advice.
04:23Do we have to?
04:24I want to hear more about Miss Anderson
04:26and the tragically unemployable Mr. Doyle.
04:28Ooh, good idea.
04:30Oh, Doyle dear.
04:31It's time for your weekly bath.
04:33Only if you take one with me.
04:35Let's get our swimmy suit.
04:36Okay, but no tub farts.
04:38It has enough bubbles already.
04:39Crap, we're not like that, okay?
04:41Oh, lighten up, Miss Cool Teacher.
04:43They're only saying this stuff because they idolize you.
04:45Isn't that what they told you?
04:46Maybe we should let the story keep going.
04:48In fact, you should bring Doyle up here
04:49so they can study him firsthand.
04:51Let's invite Miss Cass to bath time.
04:55Know what? I think you were right.
04:56They should stop with the acting.
05:02Spare me your empathy.
05:03I know you like it when they make fun of Doyle and me.
05:05Yeah? So what if I do?
05:07You're clearly jealous, Miss My Undies Look Lacy,
05:09but really it's cobwebs.
05:10Sure, I guess I would like to have a boy toy around.
05:13Wait, what did you say?
05:18Take it back.
05:19I'm not jealous of you and your stupid love life.
05:21We're making fun of Doyle.
05:22She does need a man.
05:23You should talk, Peppermint Patty.
05:32Don't fight. Don't fight.
05:39Quickly, children, get below ground.
05:40There's enough biscuits and powdered milk in the shelter
05:42to keep us alive well past October.
05:47I can't believe I'm saying this,
05:49but I'd rather be in math right now.
05:51You just want to use your damn
05:52two plus two equals fart line again.
05:54Take it back. We're not like that.
05:56Doyle's a respectable man, okay?
05:58Miss Chloe, stop biting my leg.
06:02Honey, I'm home.
06:03Yay, Doyle's home. Doyle's home.
06:06Did you get all your popcorn deliveries done, dear?
06:08Yeah, one theater owner tried to pay with a credit card,
06:10but I was like, no way, cash or trade only.
06:13So, babe, what'd you make me for dinner tonight?
06:15Oh, it's your favorite, honey roasted bass.
06:19I love you, babe.
06:21I love you, too.
06:27You remembered to check in with your parole officer today
06:29so the bounty hunters won't come, right?
06:31Sure did.
06:32That's my Doyle,
06:34and the kids and other teachers
06:36have the nerve to make up stories about you.
06:48The Corpse Whisperer!
06:52It was a day like any other,
06:54except that it wasn't.
06:58What's wrong, Shin? Are you having a seizure?
07:00I'm a corpse.
07:01Like Scruffles?
07:02Don't worry, it's just a game.
07:04Oh.
07:05Now give me an autopsy.
07:07Cut me open and pull out my ass.
07:09I want to see it from the inside.
07:10Oh, no thanks.
07:12Will you at least step over me then?
07:14Yeah, I guess I can do that.
07:18Good.
07:19Now eat my flesh to stay alive.
07:21I'm going to go upstairs.
07:25I hope everyone else gets here soon.
07:27Shin is creeping me out.
07:29Please let me go! No!
07:36A woman, dead on the pavement.
07:40A boy witness, scarred for life.
07:43An aerator only talking because he needed 50 bucks for an adult massage.
07:48My acting teacher is right. That does suck.
07:51And I thought sleeping with him would make him lie.
07:54There you are, Maso. What's up?
07:57A corpse! There!
07:59We already played that game.
08:01Yeah, Shin asked us to do some really strange things.
08:03We have to get out of here or we're all dead for real.
08:06Try to be original.
08:07Innovation is key in a free market.
08:09I agree with them. As long as it means you're gay.
08:12Hey!
08:16Why are you pussing out, Maso? This place isn't that scary.
08:19Trust me, you get used to the poor people smell.
08:23Oh, hey, Shin. I thought I heard you kids out here.
08:26And I thought I heard a family of slugs mud wrestling, but it was just my fart.
08:30Why do you talk, really?
08:31I worked hard on that image. Let it sink in.
08:35Hey, I've been working pretty hard today myself and I could use something to get my mind off it.
08:39Why don't you kids come in and have some juice, my treat?
08:41Drinks with a single woman, but I'm not ready. I haven't even had time to glue fake hair to my balls.
08:46She's obviously inviting us all, stupid.
08:48Oh, like hippie love, huh?
08:50We're five-year-olds.
08:51We don't talk like it.
08:57Teddy!
08:58Teddy!
09:00Calm down, he's only joking.
09:05Come on, little guy, go join up with your friends.
09:08Trust me, you'll have a great time.
09:10Or else...
09:13We'll just do something different.
09:17Here, I got these from my mom's secret stash.
09:19She's saving food for the day she escapes.
09:22Hmm.
09:26Yup, that's totally your mom's cooking. I could recognize it anywhere.
09:29Because it's so good?
09:30Uh-uh, because it tastes distinctly like ass.
09:34She must have hidden the corpse or disposed of it.
09:37Don't be alarmed. The juice is a little chunky, guys. The grow stand cartons were on sale.
09:41Making us drink up the body so it's never found. It's the perfect cover-up.
09:46Ah!
09:49There's the murder weapon!
09:57She's keeping it close so she can use it again.
09:59What are you staring at?
10:00Nothing, I was just admiring your decor.
10:02Bear with him, ma'am, he's a bit odd.
10:04That's what happens when your dad doesn't beat you.
10:07Maso's name makes me think of matzo balls.
10:10Balls.
10:11Maso.
10:15So guys, what kind of game do you want to play?
10:17Anything but tic-tac-toe. The rules to that one make my head hurt.
10:22Hey, wanna play that corpse game again?
10:25That corpse game again?
10:27That corpse game again?
10:28That corpse game again?
10:30Can I kill you with my fist?
10:32Actually, I have a better idea for a game.
10:35That one doesn't sound very... safe.
10:37And the last thing I want is to put you kids in danger.
10:40The body! So she didn't turn it into juice!
10:43Maybe she's saving it so she can use the carpool lane!
10:55Man, I can't believe I got the old maid again.
10:57Don't you just want to strangle that silly bitch sometimes?
11:04What's wrong? Did I say something bad?
11:06Was it the cussing?
11:07What's wrong? Did I say something bad?
11:09Was it the cussing?
11:10Sorry, I should have said I wanted to strangle that bleep.
11:12Uh, yeah, sure, that's much better.
11:14We live in a morally bankrupt lefty world. We hear bad words all the time.
11:18Our favorite hero is called Action Bastard.
11:20Yep.
11:21Please just drop it.
11:22You're acting weird, even for you.
11:28We already established we can cuss, moron.
11:30It's nothing. I'm just feeling sick, that's all.
11:33Maybe I should go.
11:34Oh no.
11:36Oh no.
11:37She knows I know.
11:38Now she knows I know, she knows I know!
11:41She's gonna rip my face off and feed it to my friends in juicy popcorn!
11:49No, it doesn't feel like you have a fever.
11:51Actually, kid, I'd say you're as cold as a corpse.
12:05And that's how Maso fainted.
12:08Me again, had to do another line.
12:10Turns out that first 50 bucks the massage parlor doesn't cover the happy ending.
12:19A corpse.
12:21A corpse.
12:25Where am I?
12:27What happened?
12:30The murderous lady's apartment.
12:32She's killed my friends!
12:34I'm the only one left!
12:38Have you ever seen that part in Misery where the lady breaks the guy's legs with a mallet?
12:43Not sure why I thought of that.
12:46But seriously, I think you and I should have a little chat about something.
12:49Something you said in your sleep after you fainted.
12:53Maso, I know what you saw.
12:55It explains why you've been acting so strange today.
13:01And there's only one thing to do about it.
13:04Tell you it's okay, because I'm auditioning for a victim role in a horror movie, see?
13:09Maso?
13:12Where'd you go? I was just about to do the shower scene.
13:15Now drink your poison.
13:18After I die, I hope you will use my room as your bathroom.
13:22After I die, I hope you will use my body creatively.
13:30I guess that means the pretty neighbor lady said a bad word again.
13:33Somebody really needs to toughen him up.
13:37Poogerball's poopy shit-poops.
13:46Conchetto in the key of flat minor!
13:51Last one in's got no boobs!
13:53Very funny, Shin. I've got the key, you brat.
13:55Nope.
13:56What the hell is that light?
14:04Why is our mailbox glowing?
14:15I'm blind!
14:21Do you think it's safe?
14:22Well?
14:23What is it?
14:24I don't know.
14:27You mean you've been hiding in the kitchen all afternoon?
14:32I hope it's not a bomb or anthrax.
14:36Let's see.
14:44It's just a glowing box, you big sissies.
14:48What? What? What's wrong?
14:49Man, I forgot to watch Action Bastard today.
14:52You're lucky I took my Prozac and Avapro this morning.
14:58It's a video.
15:00Put it in?
15:03I knew DVDs were a phase.
15:05Dad, stop!
15:07What if that girl from The Ring comes out?
15:09Oh, please.
15:13Please!
15:16Hi, everybody! It's me!
15:20Oh, man, it's even worse than The Ring.
15:23Stay tuned for an important announcement!
15:26Tsutomi Pictures presents...
15:32Ai.
15:35You know her. You love her.
15:38She's not just adorable, she's Ai-dorable.
15:42Get ready for the one, the only, Ai Tsutomi.
15:50Hey, Shin Baby, guess what?
15:52This Saturday I'm having my very first piano recital.
15:56And you are invited.
15:59I saved a seat in the front row just for you.
16:01So I'll see you there.
16:07This has been a Tsutomi Pictures special invitation presentation.
16:09To fully experience the Ai Tsutomi experience...
16:12All that fuss for a lousy piano recital invitation?
16:15How much did that cost?
16:16We could have made ten porno flicks for that much.
16:18No! Don't make me go!
16:20So?
16:21So what?
16:22Do you think we really have to take him to this thing?
16:24Not me. I have to work.
16:25But I don't see why you two can't go.
16:27On your own.
16:28Well, I can go with him.
16:29But we're short on cash.
16:31You gotta pay to hear her butcher chopsticks?
16:33No, but you have to bring flowers.
16:35It's recital etiquette.
16:36And they're so rich.
16:37I can't just buy five dollars worth of day-old daisies from the Kwik-E-Mart.
16:41It's not the friggin' Philharmonic.
16:43Just give what we can afford.
16:44They'll understand.
16:45I'm sure Shin wants to go see his friend.
16:47I'd rather scoop my eyes out with spoons.
16:54Ah, Mitzi. I thought that was you.
16:56Oh, hi!
16:57It's been a while.
16:58How have you been?
16:59I hear that you and your husband have got yourselves a little video.
17:02Uh...
17:03The invitation to Ai's music recital?
17:05Oh, Georgie's invited, too.
17:07That'll make Shin happy.
17:08I thought you meant a different video.
17:10Yes, well, actually...
17:12I haven't quite decided if we're going to go yet.
17:14Oh, yeah, I understand. Busy, busy.
17:17Well, not exactly.
17:19To tell you the truth, I'm just a little bit nervous after the last time.
17:23I had a violin recital not long after she moved in.
17:26Figures she'd ask the decent boy first.
17:29They sent presents?
17:31Mm-hmm.
17:33Just for coming, Ai's family sent us a full set of artisan dishware.
17:38Pastries from a four-star French restaurant flown in from Paris.
17:42Oh, and wine from their own vineyard.
17:45That sounds expensive. Damn.
17:48They were great gifts, but I was so embarrassed.
17:50All we brought to the recital were five dollars' worth of day-old daisies from the Kwik-E-Mart.
17:57And that's what she told me.
17:59Forget it. All that endless gift-giving would bankrupt us.
18:02Well, that's that.
18:04I don't have to go.
18:06The next day.
18:11Okay, I've got my excuse down.
18:13We're sorry, but Chef developed a contagious lip fungus.
18:20Hey, you know what this is? This is chocolate.
18:22You like chocolate, don't you? Come on. Follow me.
18:24Chocolate!
18:25Follow the chocolate. I'm gonna take the chocolate to the car.
18:27You're gonna follow me right there.
18:28Fungus didn't work.
18:30I've been outsmarted by a suit of cardboard.
18:33I can't believe he actually went.
18:35Oh, crap. He doesn't have a gift.
18:39Damn you, chocolate-eating goodness.
18:45Hey!
18:46Yes, can I help you?
18:48Shut your hole. I don't have time for phony retail courtesy.
18:50I've got a floral emergency here.
18:52I need a twenty. No, a fifty-dollar bouquet.
18:54And make sure it looks like a hundred or else.
18:56Don't hurt me.
19:02Ah!
19:10Oh, gosh. I'm so glad you're here, sweetie-poo.
19:12Isn't this exciting?
19:16Shun!
19:17Mom, don't kill me. I didn't want to. The chocopies made me do it.
19:19Here you go, darling. You forgot these.
19:22These are the flowers you got for I, remember?
19:24Now, go.
19:26Here, take this.
19:27Thank you, Shun.
19:29Oh, you're so sweet. They're beautiful.
19:31But really, you shouldn't have.
19:33I know your family's practically on welfare.
19:41Sounds like the opening act is almost finished.
19:49The opening act is really good.
19:51Little Rich Bridges must be hot stuff to follow her.
19:54Well, I'm about to go on now, so you should get seated.
19:57Stupid. I saved you two seats front and center.
19:59The very best in the house.
20:01Oh, lovely.
20:28Oh, no.
20:49So close.
20:51Hey.
20:57Shut it.
20:59Come on, my ass could play a piano better than that.
21:05Should I shoot him in the head, miss?
21:07That won't be necessary.
21:09Hey, sweetie-poo.
21:11You play something, okay?
21:13Hot damn.
21:15Wait! No!
21:21No!
21:27I knew coming to this damn recital was a terrible idea.
21:30Monster child, I have stretch marks because of you.
21:33Isn't that enough, or do you have to embarrass me every day as well?
21:36And now, my ass.
21:42Little bastard.
21:44I'll get you.
21:46I'm so sorry.
21:48He's retarded, I swear.
21:50He's been eating lead paint.
21:52Oh, that shame. You're such a bad boy.
22:01My badonkadonk burns.
22:05Fifteen dollars.
22:09Fifteen dollars wasted that I could have put into my boat job jar.
22:21I woke up late this morning.
22:23A storm was really rolling.
22:25Frogs and dogs were raining from the sky.
22:28Everything seems awkward to me.
22:30Nothing's just as it should be.
22:32If this keeps on, I'm sure I won't get by.
22:35But then I close my eyes and try to smile.
22:38I know things are bad and getting worse.
22:41But after all this, I can rest a while.
22:45And then I'll party, party, party, party.
22:48Party, party, join us, join us.
22:50Party, party, join us, join us.
22:52Party, party, join us, join us.
22:54Shake your day away and you can party, party, join us, join us.
22:56Party, party, join us, join us.
22:58Party, party, join us, join us.
23:00Shake your blues away!
23:04Yo, we're getting vacation, mom!
23:07This party's shaking and it ain't just shaking here.
23:10I see that smile, you're grinning ear to ear.
23:13Sing this song, you should really sing it clear.
23:16Just sing along with us.
23:20Party, party, join us, join us.
23:22Party, party, join us, join us.
23:24Party, party, join us, join us.
23:26Shake your day away and you can party, party!
23:29Oh, I'm bad for truth.
23:31Party!
23:32Yeah, no party it is.
23:34Party, party!