anime,jdrama,cartoon
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:001, 2, 3, ha!
00:07So, I had a few drinks. I didn't puke on myself... much.
00:13Sorry about this.
00:14No problem.
00:15Honey, don't you know your limit by now?
00:17Yeah, I know my limit. It's when my jerk boss says I need to work harder while he's coking it up.
00:22We've had a pretty rough time at work this week, Mitzi, so we just went to the bar to let off a little steam.
00:27Yeah, like it's my fault I've sucked this quarter.
00:32Screw being a salesman for those stupid corporate pricks. I'd rather be a friggin' monkey.
00:37Friggin' monkey. Friggin' monkey. Friggin' monkey. Friggin' monkey.
00:50Look, the ugly one's waking up.
00:58Excuse me.
01:02Wow, since when do I get what I ask for?
01:10This is the greatest. No work, no bills, and no shame for my body hair.
01:15Okay, my cute little chimpy chimpies. Lunch is served.
01:19And remember, my crotch is not a banana.
01:21Free food brought in every day? It's just like those lunch meetings my boss never invited me to.
01:28Save some for me, okay?
01:32Ah, hell.
01:33Hiro, didn't you get us any food?
01:36Whoa, you're all monkeys too?
01:38You think I'd miss a chance to hold my noodle with my foot?
01:41Sorry, guys. It doesn't look like there's anything left.
01:43Then why don't you go beg the boss for some food?
01:45What boss?
01:58Ah!
02:00Don't worry. Daddy will get us food, or else he'll be a total disappointment.
02:10Hi, boss. I know you can't understand me because you're just a dumb ape, but I'm going to take this, okay?
02:18Hey, my tailbone's very delicate.
02:21Okay, Hiro, time to think like the enemy. Apes mimic what you do.
02:25So I'll throw monkey crap at him, and he'll throw food back, not even knowing the difference.
02:36Monkey douchebag.
02:37You gotta give him something he wants to make him listen. No wonder you never get promoted.
02:42See right there? She's promising him a happy jack.
02:47Damn. Chicks have it so much easier in life.
02:49Don't worry. We can sell ourselves in other ways.
02:52Oh, yeah? How?
02:54Oh, look at the monkey.
02:55You! Dig my funky monkey ass! Give me beans, I'll give you gas! Clearly I'm the king of the world!
03:00Get me sick of you!
03:05That's terrible. But I don't have a choice. I've got to feed my family somehow. Dance time, Hiro.
03:12Dig my funky monkey ass! Give me beans, I'll give you gas! Clearly I'm the king of the world!
03:16Oh, that is so gross.
03:17Put it in your pants, Grandpa.
03:19Son of a bitch! Do I have to be a failure in my dreams, too?
03:23Alright, I give up. Mitzi, the boss monkey wants to talk to you.
03:39Did you make a wish, Dad?
03:41That's eyelashes, not nose hairs.
03:45When you're done playing with yourself, you wanna play with me?
03:48All you gotta do is hold this up.
03:50Your mom and I play this sometimes, but I never get to be the geisha.
03:55Yeah, that's great. Just try not to move it, okay?
03:57Sure, kid.
04:00Hey, what are you doing? Wait, hold on.
04:07Oh, man. How'd I miss?
04:08Shinesuke Nohara, I'll tell you what I told your father. It's not okay to shoot a wad of anything into someone's face.
04:15Okay.
04:17Oh, it's only paper. That kinda hurt.
04:20Where's the wall target I bought you?
04:22It broke.
04:23Well, I'm not buying a new one. So, Hiro, if you don't wanna become a human target...
04:27I'm on it.
04:29Tape fixes everything. Except condoms, right, Hima?
04:34There. Good as used.
04:35Give it a try, son. Aim for the 50.
04:37Okay.
04:43Maybe it'd help if you aimed a little higher there.
04:45Let me try again.
04:49No, you gotta angle the shaft lower with your hands when you blow it.
04:56Expel the air from deep in your bowels.
05:06Yeah, maybe not that deep.
05:07In college, I was the blowing queen.
05:09Let's see it.
05:16See, you just have to blow up from your belly.
05:18No fair, you've got more belly than me.
05:22I'm not fat!
05:24Alright, my turn.
05:30You'll blow even better than Mom.
05:34I rule.
05:35Oh, come on. That was a lucky shot. Anybody could hit it once.
05:38Lucky or just exquisite.
05:41All I'm saying is, you're not even close.
05:44All I'm saying is that given more blows, I'd come out ahead.
05:47You two should have a blow-off.
05:54Alright, let's do this thing.
05:55Can you go for five rounds?
05:57Only five.
05:59If you win, I buy you a beer. And if I win, you buy me a new bag.
06:04Why would I do that?
06:05Aw, come on, hero. If there's nothing at stake, this'll be a total snooze-fest.
06:09I understand that part.
06:10What I don't get is why my prize is worth a buck and yours is worth a second mortgage.
06:14Are you scared I'll win?
06:16Huh? No, that's not what I...
06:19Fine, but I want a six-pack.
06:22Whoa, Dad's boobs are bigger than Mom's now.
06:27Rock, paper, scissors.
06:30I win. I think I'll defer.
06:32I'm used to going after you.
06:35So, we're playing by bedroom rules.
06:40Hey, no cheating.
06:41Cheating how?
06:42Your foot's over the line.
06:43Huh?
06:45That's not gonna make any difference.
06:46If this were the Olympics, you'd be disqualified.
06:49Oh, fine. But darts aren't an Olympic sport.
06:53Ah, now he's focused on hating me.
06:59That beer better be ice-cold.
07:04I never pick favorites between you two, Brad.
07:07I never pick favorites between you two, Bratz.
07:13Calm down, Mitzi. Realign your chakras.
07:16Whatever the hell those are.
07:22I thought you wanted that bag. Oh, well.
07:26Oh, I'm just warming up.
07:28Then do it fast, because I'm about to start playing for real.
07:31Hero Nohara was born a man, but today he achieves immortality.
07:36Sorry.
07:37Nohara cannot be distracted by noise.
07:42Knock it off. You're distracting me with all that noise.
07:50Range, 3.15 meters.
07:52Air conditioner, blowing north-northeast.
07:54Margin of error, 1.3 millimeters.
07:57Odds of hitting bullseye, 100%.
08:01This is bad. If he makes this, I don't have a shot in hell of winning.
08:04Unless...
08:07If he makes this, I don't have a shot in hell of winning.
08:15Thought the goal was to hit the target.
08:17That was intentional sabotage. Lock her in the cupboard. Automatic do-over.
08:21Blaming a poor, innocent baby for your failure.
08:24That's low, even for Daddy.
08:27Crap.
08:31Not horrible.
08:34Not horrible.
08:3730 points? Where'd that come from? Fine.
08:41Aw, another 20.
08:4330 again.
08:45Makes it 90 to 85. So, I'm just 5 behind.
08:50It all comes down to this. My final dart.
08:57Oh yeah, in your face. I should stick a fork in your ass, because you are done.
09:01So now my only hope is...
09:03To win, you need to hit 50, which need I remind you, you've yet to accomplish.
09:06Yours is as good as mine.
09:09Your tears will only sweeten it.
09:11Come on, Mitzi, don't blow it.
09:13We have to blow it, but just don't...
09:15You know what I mean.
09:19Here, Mom, let me help you relax a little.
09:22Is this helping? Is this helping?
09:24Yeah, keep tickling.
09:34Oh.
09:39I did it! I did it! 50 points!
09:42Mama's got a brand new bag, yeah!
09:44Yeah, look more like 40.
09:46Then you need glasses, old man, because that was 50.
09:49It was not.
09:50Was so.
09:51But Shin was tickling you, that's an automatic do-over.
09:53Give it up.
09:54That was an accident, it doesn't count.
09:56Oh, so Hema doesn't count?
09:58I have accidents all the time.
10:00The coin on your toe was over the line.
10:04Yo, watch more show!
10:13Happiness Bunny's Revenge
10:22Hello, Milfa Residence.
10:24Oh, hello, honey. Are you running late?
10:27Well, I've been slaving away for hours on this dinner like you forced me to.
10:31You are coming home this time, right?
10:33No, that's okay. Sorry, sweetie, I didn't realize I had a tone.
10:40Make me a special dinner!
10:42Blast my underwear!
10:44Tell my parents your ass hurts because you sat on a very large nail!
10:48Life's so much better since Daddy's life insurance came in.
10:51Money's like kisses.
10:52Now we can both afford ballet classes.
10:55How about this weekend we fly to a ranch and buy you your very own ponies?
10:59Yay!
11:01Thanks, Dead Daddy.
11:05Now Mom can find a man to love her.
11:07Yeah, hopefully he'll have money too.
11:09Who knew that factory fire would be the best thing ever?
11:12We're so lucky.
11:15Money makes life happy.
11:20That's like the most socially irresponsible children's show I've ever seen in my life.
11:24I mean, it's so unrealistic.
11:26Nobody has a look like that.
11:29Stupid fantasy bullcrap!
11:32Stupid widow and her stupid happy daughters with their stupid ponies
11:37and their stupid not-having-herdy-belts!
11:44I need some cake.
11:47A happy cake.
11:59I can't get those damn half-orphans out of my head.
12:20What the?
12:21Happiness Bunny's alive?
12:23Penny, what is it?
12:24If Daddy's come home, you know it's best to pretend we're asleep.
12:28Just trust me, Mom. You have to see this.
12:30Okay, okay.
12:35Penny, slow down.
12:51Oh no, it's finally happening.
12:54What's happening, Mommy?
12:56We've snapped here, you and me.
12:58We're crazy.
13:16Come and play with me, Penny.
13:19He talks!
13:26Mommy!
13:32I've been waiting a long time for this.
13:35Mommy!
13:36I always wanted us to be happy.
13:38I mean, for crap's sake, it was in my name.
13:41This is a dream, isn't it, Mommy? Punch me in the face. I need to wake up.
13:44Like the way you punched me?
13:46Only to stop the gloomies.
13:48Interesting idea. I've been feeling rather gloomy myself.
13:51We're sorry for hitting you and for hiding you in very weird places.
13:54Too late for that.
13:55What are you going to do now, Bunny?
13:57I have to settle the score.
13:58You've caused me so much pain, it's made an anger and despair mark over my head.
14:02Look at it!
14:03We're so sorry!
14:05Settle the score how, Mr. Bunny?
14:07I've tried to be the cute, cuddly, lovable guy, but you punished me like I was the bastard.
14:12So I might as well be the bastard. Don't you think that's fair?
14:15So go fetch me some juice, you slut puppy of a wife.
14:18And make it fast.
14:20Okay.
14:21I'm going to watch Texas Hold'em on TV while I idly rub my crotch now.
14:25You, runt girl, my back needs rubbing.
14:28Yes, Mr. Bunny, sir.
14:30Here you go, juice to make you smile.
14:32What is that? OJ, do I look human?
14:35No. Tell me what I am, you blind, pasture-primed trick.
14:38A bunny?
14:39That's right, a motherfucking bunny.
14:42I poop pellets, screw like a terminal patient, and I drink carrot juice.
14:45Carrot!
14:46I'm sorry, but I don't keep carrot juice in my home.
14:48You keep carrots, don't you?
14:50Yes, but I don't have a juicer.
14:52Then I guess you'll be using your hands.
14:56Are your fingers retarded too?
14:58Massage.
14:59Sorry.
15:07What the hell do you think you're doing?
15:10A rabbit's ears are his most prized asset, like tits on a cheerleader.
15:14I can't risk them getting damaged by your stubby, clumsy hands now, can I?
15:19Your cable's out. Put on a video.
15:21Yes, sir, yes, sir.
15:25Hand back on crotch.
15:27What? Are you screwing with me?
15:29Why would I possibly want to watch this turtle-loving propaganda
15:33like that nice guy, slow-moving pansy, could ever beat a hare?
15:36What else do you have?
15:38Turtles are bad?
15:41Ah, yes, the story of the fifth Ninja Turtle, Solario the Quadriplegic.
15:45Now this is programming I can get behind.
15:50Isn't it funny when they beat the kind, helpless creature?
15:53Let's watch it again.
15:54Where do they come up with this crap?
15:58Mommy, I think I actually miss Daddy.
16:01Me too, dear. At least he would have passed out by now.
16:04Hey!
16:05Miss Daddy, you say?
16:07Well, don't worry, he'll stumble home soon, then we'll all have fun together.
16:11No, don't do that! Just kill me now! Please, just kill me!
16:17Oh, jeez, what an awful dream.
16:20Mr. Sandman's a dick.
16:24Mommy?
16:31Morning, Penny.
16:33What's going on?
16:34Why's Mr. Bunny at the table drinking juice, Mommy?
16:38Oh, no reason.
16:40I just thought it'd be nice for us to include our dear stuffed animal friend at breakfast every once in a while.
16:45He's a valued part of our family and we don't want him to feel neglected.
16:49So, I'll just make you breakfast now.
16:52Okay.
17:10Oh!
17:19What happened? Are you alright? Did you try to take Mr. Bunny's juice?
17:23No.
17:26But last night I had a dream that he was drinking juice.
17:32You mean, you had the ouchie dream too?
17:35Uh-huh.
17:37Your father!
17:40Yo! Don't worry, I let myself in.
17:42Good morning, Shin. But why'd you come to play so early? I just woke up.
17:46It's never too early to go make me some food.
17:50You gonna get that?
17:51Yeah. I mean, there's nothing to be nervous about, right?
17:58No for residents.
18:00Yes, hold on.
18:01Oh, Shin, it's for you. It's that eye girl.
18:05She said something about a tracking device.
18:11Hey, Psycho, what's up?
18:12Oh, nothing. Yeah, just a typical Saturday.
18:15Made my dad think it was Monday. Left Principal Encha flaming him a diaper.
18:19Oh, and I watched an awesome action bastard.
18:21Huh?
18:22Um, well, Lollipop got kidnapped by the Harry Hogman of Motorcycula.
18:27An action bastard had to save her with his bastard bacon degreaser.
18:30But turns out she'd run off with him on purpose...
18:32Listen, Penny.
18:34It might be time to visit that therapist again.
18:36Okay.
18:37Oh, no.
18:38You're not going anywhere.
18:43We're sorry, Principal Murphy!
18:48Hey, it's just me.
19:01Yo!
19:02Time to go!
19:09Woke up late this morning. A storm was really rolling.
19:12Frogs and dogs were raining from the sky.
19:15Everything seems awkward to me. Nothing's just as it should be.
19:19If this keeps on, I'm sure I won't get by.
19:22But then I close my eyes and try to smile.
19:26I know things are bad and getting worse.
19:29But after all this, I can rest a while.
19:32And then I'll party, party, party, party.
19:35Party, party, join us, join us.
19:36Party, party, join us, join us.
19:38Party, party, join us, join us.
19:39Shake your day away and you can...
19:41Party, party, join us, join us.
19:43Party, party, join us, join us.
19:44Party, party, join us, join us.
19:46Shake your blues away!
19:51Yo!
19:52We're getting vacation on!
19:54This party's shaking and it ain't just shaking here.
19:57I see that smile, you're grinning ear to ear.
20:00Sing this song, you should really sing it clear.
20:03Just sing along with us.
20:08Party, party, join us, join us.
20:10Party, party, join us, join us.
20:11Party, party, join us, join us.
20:13Shake your day away and you can...
20:14Party, party!
20:16Oh, I'm back with truth.
20:18Party!
20:19Brand old party it is.
20:21Party, party!