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00:001, 2, 3, 4!
00:04Shin-chan!
00:08The Brotherhood of the Groveling Allowance
00:14Next stop, Casca Bay.
00:17By the end of every week, money's tighter than Mitzi's tummy before I knocked her up with Shin.
00:23If she'd just raised my allowance by $30, or maybe even just $20.
00:28God, $20 more a week would mean so much.
00:31Who am I kidding, Mitzi'll shoot me down just like she did to Shin.
00:35Hmm, maybe I can use Shin as an excuse.
00:38Yes, I'll tell Mitzi that she can get him off her back by raising my allowance, and I'll give him one out of my own pocket.
00:44I'll toss the kid five bucks and keep the rest for myself.
00:47I don't care what my guidance counselor said, I'm a genius.
00:50I'm home!
00:51Welcome home, dear. I hope burnt meat's okay.
00:55Smells delish. Hey, where's Shin?
00:57He's still sulking.
00:58Allowance.
01:00Good luck.
01:02Hey there, son.
01:03And when all my hope is gone, there's no need to hear me out.
01:11Will you buy me a shotgun, Dad?
01:13Sorry, I'm broke. But I've got an idea for me and you.
01:19Just imagine this, a weekly allowance for you and a moderate raise in allowance for your old man.
01:23With your cutes and my brains, we'll be unstoppable. At last, the men in this family will be wearing the balls.
01:29Can't you just see it, Shin?
01:31Yes, we'll be mightier than Action Bastard.
01:34Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, let's do it. But you can't double-cross me.
01:38Huh? Of course not.
01:39Then let's do the trust dance of the manly brotherhood of men.
01:43To be a man, you must have honor, honor and a penis.
01:50Hmm, do I really have to?
01:52Yeah, you do. If you have any hope of me teaming up with you.
01:56Fine, let's do it.
01:57Better not half-ass it, old man.
01:59One, two, three.
02:01To be a man, you must have honor, honor and a penis.
02:12Ah, that's good burnt pork.
02:15I thought Hema said her first word today. Turns out it was just really bad gas.
02:20Honey, you know how we talked about Shin getting an allowance?
02:23Yeah, I think your exact words were,
02:25Are you brain-damaged? He's way too immature to handle-
02:27I am so mature!
02:31Well, I've got an idea that I think will work.
02:34Why don't I take charge of his allowance? That way we can be sure he's using it responsibly.
02:38How wise.
02:39Our sweet, innocent child only wants to learn the value of a dollar, and who are we to deny him that important life lesson?
02:45Of course, if I'm going to be paying Shin's allowance, I might need just the slightest raise in my own.
02:49I don't know, something like, and I'm just pulling this number out of my ass,
02:52but something like 30 bucks ought to cover it, hon.
02:5530?!
02:56No, you're absolutely right.
02:58How about 20?
03:00Do you have any idea how many desperate crack whores a boy could buy with 20 bucks?
03:04I, for one, am none too eager to find out.
03:06Oh, why don't we ask him?
03:08Hey, Shin, how much money do you need each week?
03:1020 should do it, right?
03:12One billion gazillion?
03:16He means Zimbabwe dollars, which is about 20 bucks.
03:19He's clearly not ready for an allowance.
03:21Whoa, time out, sweetie.
03:23That parenting mag you left in the crappers says it's crucial to a child's education.
03:27That may very well be, but how's my raising your allowance supposed to teach Shin a damn thing?
03:32Well, I happen to believe in teaching by example.
03:35Do it, Dad! Show that haggle where's the balls!
03:39Mitzi!
03:40What, dearest?
03:42Do you want a bigger allowance, please?
03:44And I want any allowance, pretty please, with choco-peas.
03:53No way.
04:00Our peaceful negotiations have been refused. This means war.
04:04What do we want? Allowance! When do we want it? Now!
04:07No allowance, no peace!
04:09Yeah, yeah, no pizza!
04:10Down with women who are down on men!
04:13Quit going down on men!
04:15One word, hero. Childbirth.
04:17What I'm trying to say is that a smart, strong woman like yourself deserves a husband with a bigger allowance.
04:22And with a bigger everything.
04:24And the son of a wonderful mother like you deserves an allowance, too.
04:27And a bigger everything!
04:29Here's what we want. Up with allowance!
04:32And I say down with the pants!
04:35Up with allowance!
04:36And get the ball down his pants!
04:39Down with pants!
04:40Enough! We don't have the money! Now pull up your freaking pants!
04:46Yo, Dad.
04:47What is it, Shin?
04:48My grapes are turning into raisins.
04:52Those two ungrateful bastards have no idea how tough it is to manage this family's finances.
04:57It's hard enough with the mortgage, credit cards, and Shin's tuition to still get any money put away in my boob job jar.
05:04Huh?
05:05That stupid jackass couldn't even hang up his suit.
05:13Nothing but spare change and a button.
05:16Maybe...
05:20It's empty.
05:23What happened to showing her who wears the balls in this family?
05:27By God, you're right!
05:28To be a man, you must have...
05:29Honor and a penis!
05:35Mom, we're men and we're standing hard and firm because that's what men do!
05:46Damn straight! And we won't soften no matter what you do!
05:50Here, darling.
05:54For me?
05:56Well, in all this time, I've never given you a raise.
05:59But Mitzi, what changed your mind?
06:03What with inflation, plus you can finally afford to get your back waxed every once in a while.
06:08I'll be as smooth as Hima's ass.
06:11Uh, haven't you forgotten somebody?
06:14Shin, your father's in charge of that.
06:16Oh, that's right! Fork it!
06:18Sorry, Shin. You're just way too immature to handle an allowance.
06:22Am I right?
06:23Right on the money, honey.
06:26Well, I'm off.
06:28Love you! Bye!
06:30To be a man, you must have...
06:32Honor and a penis!
06:43Yo! Here's some more!
06:48Action bastard says, put your mouth on a sausage!
06:51Sausage!
06:58The fun's over, Dr. Enema! I flushed out all your henchmen!
07:02Don't get cocky, bastard! I've got a backup plan! Bring out the girl!
07:07Action bastard!
07:09No!
07:11As long as I have your little sidekick in my clutches, you are helpless.
07:15And she's not going anywhere.
07:17Once she's clenched in my enema ray...
07:22It's all my fault! I asked for it by wearing a skirt!
07:28Not even your best bastardness can stop me this time!
07:31No! That's where you're wrong, Dr. Enema! The bastard always gets the girl!
07:36Action bastard!
07:38Bastard belt!
07:46Hey, where'd that come from? You don't have pockets!
07:49Anti-enema beam!
07:58Thanks, bastard! That was a close one!
08:03Wow! That sucks!
08:05Bastard beam!
08:11Action bastard! You did it!
08:13Hope you don't have any scars, lollipop!
08:15Only emotional ones! I'm just glad you have that Action Bastard bastard belt! It really saved my ass!
08:27Hey, kids! Love the taste of green peppered meat?
08:31Send in ten proofs of purchase and get a real treat!
08:34Your own bastard belt! So be like Action Bastard and put your mouth on a sausage!
08:40From Action Foods! If you don't buy it, you'll die!
08:43You want ten sausages?
08:45Yeah! I need them!
08:46That child psychology book I read warned me about this.
08:49It's only ten! You can eat them in no time! That one guy ate forty-nine hot dogs in twelve minutes and you're way fatter than he is!
08:55Are you kidding me? I would never eat ten of those fart-inducing torpedoes! Not even if they went straight to my boobs!
09:01I'll eat them all myself then, please!
09:03This isn't gonna lead to another pee strike, is it?
09:07Tell you what, Chin! I'll get you your bastard meat! It can be your daily snack!
09:11You mean it?
09:12But only one a day and say goodbye to Chocobees until they're done!
09:15I'm not having my eggs scraped again just to buy you more garbage!
09:19And you have to promise to eat every bite! They're full of green pepper, sure you can handle that?
09:24But... those taste like crotch!
09:26Promise me, Chin!
09:27I promise!
09:32Hey! I need ten!
09:33Let's make sure the first one doesn't kill you. No point in wasting money, right?
09:38Hurry with the sausage!
09:40All right already, here.
09:47Mr. Sticker, I love you the way Dad loves Mom on Sunday mornings! Only five more to go!
09:52Nine more, Mr. Math Wizard.
09:55Time to eat your sausage!
10:07I've been waiting all day for this. Are you really going to eat that nasty stuff just for a sticker?
10:12Bastard belt hole!
10:25Chin, you look like Whitey sniffing another dog's butt!
10:28I can't do it! It's burning my nose hairs!
10:32It's not that bad.
10:33It reminds me of awful things.
10:35Really? What kind of awful things?
10:38Like being stuck in an elevator in a nursing home with a sweaty old fat man who keeps farting in his diaper.
10:44Kind of like that.
10:45Okay, that's enough, young man!
10:47You know, you're never going to get your stupid toy with that kind of crappy attitude.
10:51When you say that, I die a little inside.
10:54I'll do anything for that belt!
10:56That's better. Now make me proud for once.
11:00But first, let me just get rid of this pepper, and that one, and this one over here, and the big booger one here!
11:06No green diuremies!
11:10New green pepper sausage from Action Foods!
11:12Oh, come on, you wusses! Try a spicy sausage!
11:18Little emerald-looking kid. Bet he'd suck some of this crap down.
11:23Want a sausage, Chubbs?
11:26It's packed with sweet, dead-piggy goodness!
11:30Hello, ma'am. Like some hot pork tickling your windpipe?
11:34Well, that does sound exciting, but I don't know. Choices scare me.
11:39When they added green olives to the salad bar, I had panic attacks.
11:42I need a strong, decisive man like Bill O'Reilly who can tell me what to do.
11:46Oh, please, can you be my Bill O'Reilly grocery store sample lady?
11:50Just buy the damn sausage already!
11:53If you collect ten stickers, you get a bastard belt. How could you not want that?
12:00All right, then. I'm going to try it.
12:03You won't regret it, ma'am.
12:05Here you go, little boy. Thanks for the help.
12:08Thank you, but are you sure? What if you need the anti-enema beam?
12:13Thank you for shopping!
12:16Huh. I'm out of sausage. Better whip out another one. Come here.
12:22Yo, sausage lady! Can I have that wrapper, please, please, please?
12:26Oh, you want the sausage wrapper?
12:29Oh, I get it. You want the little sticker. I don't know. I have cameras everywhere in here.
12:35What the hell? You did help me out. Here you go.
12:39Thanks, Emeril.
12:41Thanks, lady! Twelve more to go!
12:44Oh, you look like a man who craves sausage. It's hot and spicy.
12:48Yeah, thanks, lady, but I'd rather lick dog scrotum.
12:51Hey, you moron! Who are you to be so picky? The king of food? Action bastard says eat it!
12:56But green peppers taste like crotch, little man.
12:58Duh, everyone knows that. That's like saying monkeys throw their poo.
13:01So?
13:02So? I hate green peppers, too, but I freaking love these sausages.
13:10Yeah, right. You barely tasted it. You just swallowed it whole.
13:13You think that's easy? I'll show you tasting!
13:17Jesus, kid, don't kill yourself. I'll buy three.
13:21I hope Shin's not in the lobster tank again.
13:27Ladies and gentlemen, step right up! Buy a sausage and see the dancing ass boy!
13:32Ass dance! Ass dance!
13:36Attention, shoppers! Ass dance!
13:39Dancing ass boy! Ass dance! Ass dance!
13:44Attention, shoppers! Ass dance in aisle five!
13:56Okay, now stack it on top of those planks.
14:01You're awesome, Hima! Just nine months old and look at you.
14:06You're building blocks like a two-year-old. You're a genius, unlike that brother of yours.
14:16You're like a cute little Frank Lloyd Wright.
14:18Maybe you'll be an architect, an engineer, or better yet, an independent contractor.
14:23No, Hima, those are videos Mommy and Daddy made and we can't afford the therapy you'd need if you ever saw them.
14:54Already she's learning what it's like to be a woman.
14:57Next the frustration sets in, then marriage, children, therapy, Xanax, and death.
15:24Hmm.
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18:27By day, I watch over this super-happy, fun-time American school as Principal Bernoulli-H.
18:33But by night, I am Inch-Man!
18:56I've been here. This is a house of evil.
19:21Say my name, bitch!
19:23What about this? Is this because of my period, too?
19:31Who are you?
19:33Just your friendly neighborhood Inch-Man, defender of the defenseless.
19:35What the hell do you want?
19:37Well, my alarm went off and I heard all these screams.
19:39It was just my husband! As you can see, he fell down the stairs!
19:42Ma'am, I think your husband may be experiencing some pain.
19:45My septum!
19:48It'll take more than that to incapacitate Inch-Man!
19:50Ding dong!
19:52Oh yeah, it is him!
19:54Why did you do that for?
19:56Had to see if you were Inch-Man.
19:58It's Inch-Man!
19:59I called for help 30 minutes ago. Do I get a free pizza?
20:02No, but how may I be of service?
20:05Hema started getting junky in her trunky and Mom was too busy killing Dad to change her.
20:09The crap I put up with in the line of duty.
20:11Hooray for Stench-Man!
20:13Hey, my name is Inch-Man!
20:18See, told you. No kitties, no ice cream, no clear blue skies, just crap.
20:26This is my gift, my curse, my extracurricular hobby.
20:31Who am I? I'm Stench-Man!
20:33I mean I'm Inch-Man!
20:35Yo! Time to go!
21:05But then I close my eyes and try to smile
21:08I know things are bad and getting worse
21:11But after all this I can rest a while
21:15And then I'll party, party
21:17Party, party, join us, join us
21:18Party, party, join us, join us
21:20Party, party, join us, join us
21:22Shake your day away and you can
21:23Party, party, join us, join us
21:25Party, party, join us, join us
21:26Party, party, join us, join us
21:28Shake your blues away!
21:33Yo! We're getting vacation, mom!
21:36This party's shaking and it ain't just shaking here
21:39I see that smile, you're grinning ear to ear
21:42Sing this song and you should really sing it clear
21:45Just sing along with us!
21:50Party, party, join us, join us
21:52Party, party, join us, join us
21:53Party, party, join us, join us
21:55Shake your day away and you can
21:56Party, party!
21:58Oh, I'm back for sure.
22:00Party!
22:01What a grand old party it is!
22:03Party, party!