anime,jdrama,cartoon
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:001, 2, 3!
00:03Yeah!
00:12I've got rhythm! Yes, I do! I've got rhythm! How about you?
00:16Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.
00:18Oh. Klingons are to Soviets as Ferengi are to A-Jews, B-Hindus,
00:22C-Scientologists or D...
00:24It's B-spelled bulky!
00:26Yes I do. I got rhythm. How about you? I got rhythm. Yes I do. I got rhythm. How about you? I got rhythm. Yes I do. I got rhythm. How about you? I got rhythm. Yes I do. I got rhythm.
00:39Shut up!
00:40I got rhythm.
00:43Oh boy, sounds to me like Dropout Next Door's challenging me to a drum-off.
00:48I'll play along, just don't drop out, Dropout!
00:53Knock it off! Turn for breath!
00:56Hope you aren't as bad at applying to college as you are at drumming!
01:02Shut the frick up!
01:05Better, but you really gotta put your ass into it, Dropout!
01:12If you don't shut up, I'm gonna pound you!
01:17Oh no, what have I done now?
01:20Just don't panic, just sneeze a little, Spackle.
01:23Has this always been here?
01:24Hey, give me that! Give me back that wall chunk ass face! Come on, I do not need this stress in my life right now!
01:32Hey, what the frick? Those are my firing and strafing fingers!
01:39Hey, there's something familiar about this substance, and yet something altogether foreign.
01:44Yo!
01:45Don't yo me, dumb nuts! Just hand over that chunk of wall!
01:48But this is from our side of the wall!
01:50And half of it's from mine!
01:52Okay then, let's go halfsies!
01:55No! This is great! How are we supposed to fix it now, you retarded little butt melt?
01:59Buy a new one at Walmart?
02:01Don't be a moron! They don't sell walls at Walmart!
02:05You know, maybe if you didn't drop out, you'd know how to fix a wall.
02:10Shut up! Just give me those pieces before you break them!
02:13Oh, why didn't you just say so before?
02:17Ugh, finally. Now while I put that tape on, I want you to push on your side, okay kid?
02:23Push on my side, got it!
02:25Hey!
02:26Bring it!
02:27Tape can fix anything.
02:34Stop pushing!
02:35You'd like that, wouldn't you?
02:39It's not a game, colon beard! This is serious!
02:43Crumb damage!
02:47I win! I win! In your face, fat ass!
02:50It wasn't a game!
02:53What the hell?
02:54This is not pretty.
02:56Ugh, there's a diorama in our living room. A really, really sad diorama.
03:01What now? Do we tell the landlady about our renovation work?
03:05Are you nuts? She'll take it out of our security deposit, and I was counting on that going back in the boob job jar!
03:11Why should we have to pay anything? It was Dropout who made the hole.
03:15That is true.
03:16Yeah.
03:17No, it's not true! He started it!
03:20Oh, yeah?
03:22The rhythm was gonna get me.
03:24Sorry, man. We'll get this fixed as soon as we can.
03:26Of course, with two kids, money and time are a little tight.
03:30No offense, but if you want to get something fixed around here, you should start with your sadly fertile wife.
03:36Yeah, believe me, I've tried to.
03:38Of course, a vasectomy's three to four times cheaper!
03:40Right, he did seem a lot less humpy after he got fixed.
03:47It's too late.
03:48Mitzi tells me you've been turned down three times. Must be a hard school to get into.
03:52K-Tech.
03:55Oh, K-Tech.
03:56I'm five and I know that school sucks!
03:59Coskaby Tech is hard!
04:01I thought the only requirements were that you spell your name right.
04:04Well, that and a check for $29.95.
04:08I'm sure lots of folks can't get in.
04:10Slackers, rejects, chronic masturbators.
04:14Why do you want to get in anyway? You're just gonna drop out.
04:22There, this thin piece of fabric will keep the noise out.
04:26Do you have anything at all with a paladin on it?
04:29Losers can't be beggars.
04:30Now hit the books so you don't fail again!
04:34It's like living at home all over again.
04:36It's search for the next cootercat doll time!
04:41Ooh, Melody! She's my favorite as cootercat doll!
04:45I don't know which one actually sings, but my favorite's the blonde.
04:48You're both frackin' gay! Kimberly's the hottest.
04:54Would you rather get into their pants or get into college?
04:56Does it have to be an either-or situation?
04:58You know, you could watch it on your TV.
05:00My TV broke so I turned it into a terrarium.
05:03Yeah, of course you did.
05:04Shake what your surgeons gave you!
05:12All right, that's enough exploitation of women for one night.
05:19Don't you have a lot of studying left to do?
05:24Too bad he can't major in procrastination.
05:26Some people have no self-control.
05:30Maybe I should sleep now so I can study better tomorrow.
05:34I'm a failure! I'm such a failure!
05:37No! What would Kirk do?
05:39He wouldn't give up. He'd kick it into warp speed.
05:42So what? You're just gonna fail a lot faster?
05:46Oh, what are you doing?
05:47Just resting like kings.
05:49Well, do it in your own home then!
05:51I'm in my own home, nerd.
05:53Quit annoying our annoying neighbor, Shin!
05:57Gotta hit these books like a photon torpedo.
06:04Oh, I'm so hungry.
06:09Sorry to interrupt.
06:10I just thought someone as fat as you would always be hungry.
06:14Ah, sweet nourishment.
06:16Keep your chin up, son.
06:17Keep on trying your best.
06:19Keep smelling like wet turtle farts.
06:21Go to bed!
06:23Night.
06:25Thank you so much.
06:28I want you inside me.
06:35Snoring.
06:41Quit snoring, hero. Please.
06:43It's not me. It's our lazy neighbor.
06:45Guess that means he's gonna get rejected a fourth time.
06:48Snoring.
07:00Bark!
07:02Action Bastard says put your hands on my rod.
07:10You see, Bastard, I'm much more than just a piece of corn.
07:13I'm the complete starchy package.
07:15The corn hole.
07:17The biggest corn hole in the world.
07:19Corn hole blast!
07:25Action Bastard!
07:27Bastard rod!
07:30Transform!
07:40Action Bastard!
07:42Bastard beam!
07:48Perfecto.
07:51Great job, Action Bastard.
07:53Wow, you really hammered that corn hole good.
07:56I sure did.
07:57Tore him apart with my big Bastard rod.
08:03Why can't other shows be this good?
08:05Hey fans, did you know it's Action Bastard's 10-year anniversary?
08:09Feels good to have 10 under your belt.
08:12So, we're giving everyone at home a chance to celebrate with us
08:15by buying three bags of delicious crunchy Bastard potato chips
08:18and collecting the special Action Bastard logos.
08:21Mail in three logos and we'll send you your very own Action Bastard Bastard rod.
08:26And that includes the fan attachment.
08:28For when you need it extra wide.
08:31Get yours or die!
08:37I gotta get one or die?
08:40Yes you do, Shin. Yes you do.
08:45Okay.
08:46Now, where'd Mom put the snacky stash?
08:56One Bastard logo captured, sir.
09:16Only two more to go.
09:17Nothing can keep me from the Bastard rod now.
09:22I'm warning you, Shin.
09:23If you open those chips without asking, I'll never buy you a bag again.
09:35Okay, Shin. Ready to go to the grocery store?
09:41Attention, bargain shoppers.
09:42We have industrial-sized body massagers
09:45complete with two-pack happiness attachments on sale now in aisle six.
09:48Another display?
09:49Wow, they're really pushing those chips.
09:51Well, forget about it.
09:52We still have a full bag in the closet, remember?
09:54Sure we did this morning, but...
09:57But what?
10:00I mean, shouldn't we stockpile?
10:02What if aliens invade and we have to hide in the sewers?
10:06Nice try, Shin.
10:08But crunchy bastards aren't stockpile material.
10:11What's this?
10:12Like I wouldn't eventually notice.
10:14You must think I'm an idiot.
10:16You're not.
10:18I'm a failure.
10:19I'm a failure.
10:20It's going to be a while before dinner, Shin.
10:22You want a snack on those chips you were obsessing about?
10:25No, no!
10:26Crunchy bastards, mom, please!
10:27I'll get gassy if I have snacks after five.
10:30Just existing makes you gassy, Shin.
10:32But whatever. Suit yourself.
10:36That was too close!
10:38If she sees I ate those chips, I'll never get my other logo.
10:41Oh, Shin. My hairless bottom buddy.
10:43It's you!
10:44My heart is breaking.
10:46You really are letting me down.
10:48Of all the boys and girls in Japan,
10:50I want to give you my bastard rod the most.
10:53Oh, I dream of you holding it so.
10:55Me too, but I don't know how to get it now.
10:58My Taiwan mom won't buy me another bag
11:00till I eat the chips we already have.
11:02But I already ate the chips we have,
11:03and if she finds that out, she really won't buy more,
11:05so it's an endless cycle.
11:07I'm doomed to be a no-rod boy living a lonely no-rod life.
11:10Snap out of it!
11:11You're never going to get your rod with that kind of attitude.
11:14But what else am I supposed to do?
11:16Tell the truth. Girls like that.
11:17Except when we ask it for facts.
11:19Then lie!
11:20She'll be so impressed that she'll forgive you immediately
11:22and give you the two bags you need.
11:23No questions asked.
11:24My rod is so big, so long and so purple,
11:27there's nothing my rod cannot do.
11:29You're right. I'll tell her.
11:32Yo, mommy!
11:33What, Shin? I'm busy.
11:35Oh, um, nothing.
11:36I'm just looking forward to dinner.
11:38I've always liked the way you...
11:40burn meat.
11:41I can't. I'm scared.
11:43Of course you are.
11:45I, too, was scared
11:46when I fought the great teats of the Hammer Queen
11:48with nothing but an ice tube and a suction cup.
11:50But I fought hard to get my freedom, Shin,
11:52and you have to fight for what you want, too,
11:54which is this!
11:55Don't you see the amazing functions
11:57of my Bastard Rod fan attachment?
11:59Well, sure I do.
12:00That's for when you need it extra wide.
12:02But you don't know Mom.
12:03Her teats are small and her fists are huge.
12:05Trust us, Shin.
12:06Telling the truth will fix everything.
12:08It's vital you get this rod.
12:09You could save millions of lives with its power.
12:12And it'll make you popular with the ladies, too.
12:16Yeah, yeah.
12:19Yo, Mom, hey!
12:20What?
12:22I love you, and I don't say that enough.
12:26Damn it, my young Bastard!
12:28Where are your testes, man?
12:29I thought you were cool, but I guess I was wrong.
12:34Don't you understand?
12:35This rod, I don't just want to give it to you
12:37for all the hours of fun.
12:38This promotion is really a secret plan
12:40to find the chosen one who will prevent
12:41a future ruled by radioactive cats.
12:43It's true!
12:44The future of the world and my rod are in your hands!
12:47I choose you!
12:49You!
12:50You!
12:53Oh, Action Bastard.
13:02Now go be a good Bastard and tell her.
13:07Go! Go! Go! Go!
13:10Yo, Mommy!
13:13I ate the crunchy Bastard chip last week,
13:15but I need two more bags now!
13:16Action Bastard says I have to so I can help save the...
13:18You're grounded.
13:24We got the kid in trouble, ho!
13:28Action Bastard!
13:32Action Bastard!
13:40Action Bastard!
13:45The parasites are back!
13:49Two, three, go!
13:52All clean now.
13:54Shin may have terrible aim,
13:55but at least his poop is still small.
13:57I'm telling you,
13:58a good fart fan would really help this family.
14:01On the bright side,
14:02this apartment lets us meet all sorts of new neighbors,
14:04eh, Mitzi?
14:05No more of those annoying freeloaders?
14:08Hiro! Hiro! Open up!
14:10It can't be.
14:11They've come back!
14:13What, Pansy? What?
14:17Hold me!
14:20Yosharin!
14:21Whoa, Dad's kissing another man
14:23like that guy who gives fancy haircuts.
14:25Dammit, Yosharin, you're confusing my kid.
14:29All right, now, what are you crying about, huh?
14:31Help me! She's sound for blood!
14:35Here you are, you dirty yellow chicken coward!
14:37I knew you'd run in here!
14:38How dare you call me a chicken!
14:40You're the one with the pasty-ass chicken legs
14:42you mattering old hen!
14:43How could you cheat on me with that creepy little thing?
14:46Herbert!
14:47She's not a thing!
14:48She has a name!
14:49So you admit that you're a cheat!
14:51What will your mother say when I tell her about this?
14:53No! You wouldn't do that, would you? No!
14:55What? You're a racist!
14:56Oh, fresh son of a friggin' nabbit!
15:00Please, Mitzi, calm down.
15:02Yeah, we can't afford to replace anything you break.
15:05Even they know what a bitch you are!
15:07You're calling me the B-word now?
15:09Is that what your new girlfriend likes being called,
15:11or is that what you like her to call you?
15:13Ooh, this is better than Mom and Dad's fights.
15:17All right, that's it, I'm moving in here.
15:19Unlike you, they want me around.
15:21And no, I'm not bothered that the place is a dump
15:23and smells like boiled urine.
15:25Yeah, that would be Yanro next door.
15:28Oh, hi there.
15:30You know I don't care for freeloaders in my building.
15:32Yeah, uh, these are just our mentally challenged cousins.
15:36Who's the ogre?
15:38She says she's a landlady, but I'm not convinced.
15:41Yeah, her mustache is pretty thick.
15:43Look, I support helping the half-tards
15:45as much as the next wombless landlady.
15:47But I'm afraid your lease is for one family,
15:49so those two can't stay.
15:51We're not both living here. I'm done with her.
15:53Yeah, I hate my husband right now.
15:55We're like total opposites in every conceivable way,
15:57even in the clothes we wear!
15:59Okay.
16:01Look, despite how this may appear to you,
16:03they're not moving in here. Don't worry.
16:05Actually, Hiro, I am moving in here.
16:07I'll just need an air mattress and your golden shower
16:09from eight to nine.
16:11No, you don't, perv. You're not getting off that easy.
16:13If you're moving in, then I'm moving in, too.
16:15We can just work our stuff out here.
16:17What?
16:19Well, I ain't running a commune for the young and stupid.
16:21Two families, twice the rent.
16:23Pay rent? Then why move in?
16:25Yeah, you got some nerve barging into our friend's house
16:27and tossing us around.
16:29Uh, just ignore them.
16:31That's what I do, and they're not moving in.
16:33They're just sleeping here for one night.
16:35Hey, you guys tricked me into saying that, didn't you?
16:37You're like skull parasites
16:39crawling into my brain.
16:41All right, a few nights of them staying is fine.
16:43But don't think I haven't seen this type of scam before.
16:45I'll be checking for stained mattresses later.
16:47Bye.
16:49Okay.
16:51Bye-bye.
16:53Jeez, Louise, bossy old bag.
16:55Way to stand up and be a man, hero.
16:57I think I'm pretty good at dealing with the rude.
16:59Yeah, he has to deal with Mom,
17:01even on her lady days.
17:07You should still complain to someone about her, hero.
17:09Maybe she has her own landlady.
17:11Any ideas, sweetie?
17:13No, yours sounds stellar.
17:15Oh, good.
17:17You like each other again.
17:19Now everyone back to their own homes.
17:21Oh, no way, Hosita.
17:23It's all our little lover's quarrel.
17:25Just impartially listen to everything we say
17:27and tell us whether I was really right or just sort of right.
17:29Sit down.
17:31Sit down!
17:33It really is stinky in here.
17:35Bad bathroom ventilation, huh?
17:37I know.
17:39Well, make it up to us with some drinks.
17:41Bester juice on the socks, thank you.
17:43No drinks after five, PB Sheets.
17:47The reason we're fighting,
17:49the reason this thing started is Little Miss Trappy Panty, see?
17:53Oh, what a neat little doll you've got there.
17:55It's no mere doll.
17:57It's a hentai doll,
17:59and it never says no.
18:01And what's hentai?
18:03It's like every other cartoon you've seen.
18:05It's just a little different.
18:07Like if you replaced all the cute mice
18:09with butts, crotches and tentacles.
18:11I have heard good things.
18:13Let me see.
18:15Hey, can I hold the boobies and crotches doll
18:17when you're done with it, Dad?
18:19Yoshi, I can see now how this would bother your wife.
18:21It's not like the tentacles fly out or anything.
18:23You have to pay extra for those dolls.
18:25Mmm...
18:27Michi, are you sure you're okay with all this gross cartoon talk?
18:29Well, I'm okay with him buying them.
18:31Uh...
18:33What I don't like is him...
18:35Ah!
18:37Huh?
18:39You're doing the same thing I caught him doing when I came home today!
18:41That's a part of call 91-1.
18:43What'd I do?
18:45You looked up her skirt, hero!
18:47Hey, I did no such thing, Michi.
18:49Don't look around to see the left ankle detailing.
18:51I know, right?
18:53The artwork is great.
18:55You can almost smell her little ankles.
18:57You were never a normal man, but I didn't think you were a perv.
18:59It's like I don't know you.
19:01I meant to.
19:03You're not letting me see the crotches doll.
19:05It was supposed to be next.
19:07How can I forgive him when he's cheated on me?
19:09I can't believe you came here just to have us settle
19:11something as childish as doll privates.
19:13Who cares?
19:15It's not childish. It's cool.
19:17Ahh!
19:19Wall monster!
19:21This is our neighbor, Yonro. He's a 9th level magic user.
19:23That's level 12 ranger.
19:25The mean kind of nerd.
19:27Do you have your own place or just live in the wall
19:29eating rats and fiberglass?
19:31My own place.
19:33If he's there, where's your bedroom?
19:35Didn't you notice when you helped us move?
19:37There is no bedroom. It's a studio.
19:39But why'd you invite us over to such a small place?
19:41So dinky.
19:43Okay, A, we didn't invite you.
19:45Maybe that's why you two can't stay here.
19:47Please, we're begging you. Just make up and leave already.
19:49Hey, guys.
19:51Hey, I think you two should make up right here.
19:53Yoshirin.
19:55Michi.
19:57Hey, why are you singing my wife's name, porkster?
19:59She reminds me of a cool hentai.
20:01Michi, I promise I'll stop collecting hentai.
20:03But I still will.
20:05Hi, Michi.
20:07Maybe if you spent less time in your sim games,
20:09you'd learn how to talk to girls who really exist.
20:11That reminds me.
20:13Guild Wars time!
20:15Even the smallest dump
20:17isn't too small for a rice cooker.
20:19I'll just help myself, okay?
20:21Take anything you want and go home now.
20:23Here, Yoshi.
20:25Say ah.
20:27Now your turn.
20:33Damn it, Yanro. Who said you could eat our rice too?
20:35You know, Dad, it's rude not to eat with your friends.
20:37Got any soy sauce?
20:39And I'm gonna need more rice.
20:41Eat your own rice, nerd.
20:43I'm sorry, Yoshi.
20:45I shouldn't have been so hard on you earlier.
20:47I was a total jerky turkey.
20:49Let's just remember, Michi.
20:51Come here whenever we fight.
20:53Please never come back here.
21:11Nothing's too sad as it should be.
21:13If this keeps on, I'm sure I won't get by.
21:15But then I close my eyes
21:17and try to smile.
21:19I know things are bad
21:21and getting worse.
21:23But after all this, I can rest a while.
21:25And then I'll
21:27Party! Party!
21:29Party! Party! Join us! Join us!
21:31Party! Party! Join us! Join us!
21:33Shake your day away and you can
21:35Party! Party! Join us! Join us!
21:37Party! Party! Join us! Join us!
21:39Party! Party! Join us! Join us!
21:41Shake your blues away!
21:43Yo!
21:45We're getting vacation, mom!
21:47This party's shaking
21:49and it ain't just shaking here.
21:51I see that smile grinning
21:53ear to ear.
21:55Sing this song and you should really sing it clear.
21:57Just sing along with us.
21:59Party! Party! Join us! Join us!
22:01Party! Party! Join us! Join us!
22:03Party! Party! Join us! Join us!
22:05Party! Party! Join us! Join us!
22:07Shake your day away and you can
22:09Party! Party!
22:11Party!
22:13Party!
22:15Party!