Oh, Doctor Beeching! - 104 [couchtripper][U]
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00:00♪
00:30Good morning, Mr. Perkins. I said good morning, Mr. Perkins.
00:48Good morning, Mr. Lambert.
00:50Your furniture arrived at 6.15 this morning, sir, and I was alert and ready to receive it.
00:58Thank you, Mr. Lambert.
00:59I shall be off at 2 o'clock, and I shall be most happy to come and move it all into the house for you.
01:06Thank you, Mr. Lambert.
01:07We'll all lend a hand, won't we?
01:09I suppose so.
01:10We'll all lend a hand, Mr. Parking.
01:13That's very kind of you.
01:15And don't forget, all of you, a sparkling clean station and a polite staff with big smiles.
01:22LAUGHTER
01:44There's nobody on about these things.
01:48Well, there must come a hurry.
01:50I don't think he's having a fit!
01:52Watch your brakes!
01:57And don't keep playing with your whistle!
01:59Watch your brakes!
02:07Very bad engine driver!
02:13There's letters for you.
02:15Wilfred, this is my private office.
02:17I know.
02:18Well, I might be interviewing all sorts of important people privately in here.
02:22If you wish to enter, you knock my door.
02:24I will say, come in.
02:25You will enter quietly, say what your purpose is, and then go.
02:29Is that clear?
02:30I think so.
02:32Shall I do it again?
02:33No, just go.
02:35And smile!
02:38LAUGHTER
02:47BELL RINGS
02:53Hello, Refreshment Room.
02:55Good morning, May.
02:56Oh, it's you.
02:58You look very lovely this morning, standing by your garden gate.
03:01What are you talking about? I was in me curlers.
03:04When you looked at the sun, they surrounded you like a halo.
03:09What do you want?
03:10I have to talk to you, May. Could you bring me a cup of tea?
03:13All right, Cecil Parkin, but this is the last time.
03:22Good morning, Mr Parkin.
03:24Mrs Plumtree.
03:26I've clean, wet-mocked your kitchenette linoleum floor.
03:29And seeing it's still damp, you best be very cautious
03:33not to slide and fall all your length,
03:35cos it's like frozen air.
03:38Thank you, Mrs Plumtree.
03:40I should point out that this window is for ventilation only.
03:43Should you wish to speak to me,
03:45I would prefer that you came round and knocked on my door.
03:47Oh, I'm ever so sorry. Shall I do it again?
03:50No, thank you, Mrs Plumtree. Let me know what I owe you.
03:53Oh, you don't have to pay me. Not money.
03:56I'd do it to a blank.
03:58I have a railway pension.
04:00My late husband was an engine driver.
04:02I'm sorry, Mrs Plumtree. Thank you.
04:06Come in.
04:12No, Wilfred, I say come in.
04:17What your purposes?
04:20What?
04:22You said I was supposed to come in and say,
04:24what your purposes?
04:30No, no, Wilfred.
04:32I want you to simply state why you have entered my office.
04:37There was another letter snuggling at the bottom of the box.
04:49I need my dinner money, Mum.
04:51Oh, I must get your father to give you an allowance.
04:53Check it out. Petty cash box, love.
04:56Gloria, stop robbing the petty cash box and pull your skirt down.
05:00Anything left in the pot, mate?
05:02It's fresh, aren't yourselves?
05:03Not that we're rushed off his feet.
05:05I've only done two cheap day returns and a bicycle ticket.
05:08Beaching won't keep us open if it goes on like this.
05:11Well, it's seasonal. It's always quiet this time of year.
05:15Er, where are you off to?
05:17I'm just taking Mr Parker a cup of tea.
05:19I'm not having my wife wait on him hand and foot
05:22while he come and get his own.
05:23Oh, don't be silly, Jack.
05:24Taking him a cup of tea is not waiting on him hand and foot.
05:27After all, he is the station master.
05:30I was station master for three months,
05:32but you never brought me a cup of tea.
05:35Or Garibaldi biscuits.
05:37I like Garibaldis.
05:40We used to call them squashed fly biscuits.
05:43Oh, go on, then, do him proud.
05:45Make him some homemade ones.
05:47With real squashed flies.
05:49Jack, I'll take the tea, Mum.
05:51Don't let her go like that and pull your skirt down.
05:54Dad, when all my friends wear longer skirts, I'll wear them.
05:57Me time, leave me alone.
05:59She shouldn't talk to her father like that.
06:02Oh, come and drink your tea.
06:08That's better, Wilfred. Come in.
06:15Oh, Gloria. I thought you were Wilfred.
06:18Are you disappointed?
06:20No, of course not.
06:22Mum asked me to bring you this. She says she's busy.
06:25Oh, I see.
06:26I heard you're trying to type.
06:28You're not much good, are you?
06:30No, I'm afraid not.
06:32I could type your letters for you.
06:34I'm at secretarial college. I take shorthand, too.
06:37I'm not much good at reading it back, though.
06:42Why are you staring at me like that?
06:44It's amazing. You're just like your mother was at your age.
06:48How do you know?
06:50Well, I don't. I mean...
06:53You're like your mother would be if she was your age.
06:56I imagine.
06:58I suspect I am. You must get her to show you a photograph.
07:01Yes, yes, I will.
07:05You're staring at me again.
07:07I'm sorry. It's your skirt. It's very short.
07:11You sound just like my father.
07:18I hope I can hear a train coming.
07:20Go on, Jack, do your duty.
07:22What time's me dinner?
07:23One o'clock, same as always.
07:25Shepherd's pie.
07:26You're not feeding him, I hope.
07:28Jack!
07:32May, something's up.
07:35I know it and Jack knows it.
07:38You're acting all peculiar.
07:40What do you mean, all peculiar?
07:42Nothing peculiar about my shepherd's pie?
07:44It's not that. You're not yourself.
07:47Now, come on, May. You can tell me.
07:50I don't gossip.
07:51Well, for someone who don't gossip, you talk hell of a lot.
07:56That's not fair.
07:58Have I ever let on to you about anyone's secrets?
08:00No, but if they had any sense, they wouldn't tell you the secrets.
08:06I'm insulted now.
08:07No, don't be like that.
08:08No, I am. I'm insulted.
08:10Get on with your shepherd's pie.
08:12No, I'm sorry, Ethel.
08:14Come here.
08:16Oh, you're quite right.
08:18I mean, I have had something on me mind.
08:21Well, there you are then. And you.
08:26You see, I remembered.
08:29Parkin and I have met before.
08:31I knew it. I've got an instinct for these things.
08:34Women have.
08:35I know, Ethel. I am one.
08:39We met. I mean, nothing wrong took place.
08:42At least nothing that seemed wrong at the time.
08:45Where did you meet?
08:46Well, I was waitressing at United Cattle Products.
08:51United Cattle Products?
08:52It's a cafe.
08:54He came in and he asked for one of me reconstituted egg omelettes.
08:59Reconstituted egg omelettes?
09:01Ethel, don't keep repeating everything I say.
09:04The war was still on, you see.
09:06We were grateful for anything we could get.
09:09So we met. We got talking and so on.
09:12Did you meet again?
09:14Well, we might have, once or twice.
09:16What can I expect?
09:18Now, come on, May.
09:20Did you go out together?
09:21Yes, a bit.
09:26Did he kiss you?
09:28Probably.
09:29I mean, the war was still on.
09:31And you were grateful for anything you could get?
09:34I was.
09:37You had plenty of men knocking at my door, I can tell you.
09:41Did you, er...
09:47What?
09:48Did you, er...
09:52Ethel, I am not answering any more of your questions.
09:56We met and that's that.
09:58I see.
10:00Well, you'll have to tell Jack.
10:03Oh, Ethel, I can't. You know how jealous he gets.
10:06It doesn't matter. You've got to tell him.
10:08I mean, from what you've said, he's got nothing to be jealous about.
10:11Has he?
10:12Course not.
10:14I mean, Mr Parkin just came in for a reconstructed egg omelette.
10:18Reconstituted.
10:20Or whatever it was.
10:22He ate it and that was all.
10:24It's not as if anything happened.
10:26No.
10:27Did it?
10:28All the same, I can't tell him.
10:31Well, he's not going to leave it alone.
10:33And what's more, the way I see it, he's entitled to know.
10:37Well, if that's the way you see it, you tell him.
10:39I can't. It's none of my business.
10:41She's never stopped you in the past.
10:44That's not fair. I've told you before, I'm not a gossip.
10:48Well, you can have a good gossip now. You have my full permission.
10:51In fact, you'd be doing me a favour because I'll never get round to it.
10:54I'd feel better if things were out in the open.
10:58I mean, Jack's a good man.
11:00I don't like having secrets from him.
11:02At least not too many.
11:04Hello.
11:06Oh, hello, Jack. Mind the counter for a minute.
11:08I must see to your shepherd's.
11:10May, I just...
11:14Estelle, she keeps avoiding me.
11:16I know you think I'm neurotic, but she does.
11:18She won't look me in the eye.
11:19Jack, you've got to stop worrying.
11:21There's nothing in it.
11:22Nothing in what?
11:23What do you know? He'll give you something from me.
11:26I found out just at the end of the war,
11:29before you met her,
11:31May was working at the...
11:33United something or other.
11:36United Artists?
11:38No.
11:40United Dairies?
11:42No, clearly, it was something to do with cows.
11:46She was a waitress.
11:48Cows don't have waitresses.
11:52Was she a milkmaid?
11:54No, it was a sort of a cafe.
11:56Oh, what's it matter?
11:58Anyway, it was just at the end of the war,
12:00and lots of people came into the cafe,
12:03and she thinks it's just possible
12:05that one of those lots of people was parking.
12:08I knew it. She'd met him before.
12:10There was nothing in it.
12:12He'd just come in for a reinforced egg omelette.
12:17The air raids must have still been on.
12:20Anyway, they didn't meet again.
12:22Well, not much. Once or twice.
12:24And they didn't kiss, I gather.
12:26And that's all there was to it.
12:28Ethel, when you are telling me all this,
12:31you are not looking me in the eye.
12:34I am. I'm looking at that one.
12:38Not all the time.
12:40Why didn't May tell me herself?
12:42That's because of you. You're so suspicious.
12:45She doesn't want to be cross-questioned all the time.
12:48What else did she say?
12:50There you go again!
12:52There must have been some more. What else was there?
12:54Nothing, Jack. I promise.
12:56Oh, oh, there was one other thing.
13:00Go on.
13:01Well, she said, at that time,
13:03they were grateful for anything they could get.
13:05What?!
13:08I think she was talking about omelettes.
13:12Jack, you've got to have a word with her.
13:15Tell her that now I've talked to you,
13:17you understand.
13:21I don't think I can do that, Ethel.
13:24Promise me you'll try.
13:27Yeah, well, all right.
13:30I'll try.
13:31Good lad.
13:44Ah, Mrs Plumtree.
13:46This is the kitchen, I take it.
13:48It's a bit antique-primitive, I'm afraid.
13:51I've lit a fire under the copper
13:53in case you find it convenient to have a bath.
13:56I bet you need one.
13:59Isn't there a boiler?
14:00Oh, no.
14:01None of the Royal Way accommodations
14:03have up-to-date clamoury.
14:06But no running hot water?
14:08Oh, no.
14:09There's running cold water.
14:11It goes through this hose.
14:14If you wish a bath,
14:16you ladle out the copper when it boils.
14:19If it boils.
14:22Anybody home?
14:23I'm in the bathroom, Mr Parkin.
14:26Oh, that'll be worth a visit, won't it?
14:30I've just been relieved, Mr Parkin.
14:33So we can all come...
14:35We can all come in and help you move in your furnishings.
14:39Oh, what a lovely room.
14:43Can I come in, Mr Parkin?
14:44Yes, come in, Mr Skinner.
14:45We've all got a bit of free time,
14:46so we've all volunteered to help you.
14:48Oh, that's very good of you.
14:49I've already opened the van.
14:50Yeah, well, Lethal and Wilfred have gone down there
14:52to make a start.
14:53Yeah, we'll move it all up in a frosh.
14:55Anybody home?
14:56Wilfred's here already.
14:58Well done, Wilfred.
15:00This was near the door.
15:01When I lifted it, it struck 17.
15:04Can we do it for now, Mr Parkin?
15:05Yes, that's fine.
15:06Handle it with care.
15:07I'll go down to the van.
15:08Right.
15:09Easy does it.
15:10Funny thing, it should strike 17.
15:12Is it a 24-hour grandfather clock?
15:15Shut up and don't be daft.
15:18Jack, come over here.
15:21What shall I do with this?
15:25I don't know.
15:26Ask Parkin.
15:27I don't like to.
15:28I don't know him that well.
15:30You ask him.
15:31I'm not asking Parkin what to do with the pole.
15:33Shove it upstairs and put it under his bed.
15:35They're into bed yet.
15:37Well, shove it under the bed where it would be
15:38if there was a bed.
15:42Good idea.
15:45Is it?
15:47I'm hotting up the copper in his kitchenette.
15:50I tell you, May, when I told Mr Parkin about his
15:53plumbery arrangements, he was stunned.
15:56Was he?
15:57Oh, absolutely stunned.
16:00I think he's used to a luxury life.
16:03I shouldn't be surprised if he has a refrigerator.
16:07I do hope the copper hots up enough for his liking.
16:10May, do you think you could let me have the
16:12containment of your urn?
16:14Oh, of course.
16:15It's welcome when we shut.
16:20Arnold, can you come and give us a hand with Parkin's
16:22furniture?
16:23We haven't got much time.
16:24Ralph's down at the van already.
16:26Oh, that Ralph, he's going to be the death of me.
16:29What's he been up to now?
16:32We were stopped at Nossington Basset at lunchtime
16:35and I was just two minutes visiting the gents.
16:38When I got back, he got the fire doors open.
16:41He was holding a toasting fork and cooking two pork
16:43sausages.
16:47Well, didn't you tell him off?
16:49Why?
16:50Well, you said there was nothing in the rule book
16:52about cooking pork sausages.
16:55Well, they can't think of everything, can they?
16:58Oh, come on.
17:03May, has Jack said anything?
17:05I've not seen him.
17:06Well, I told him, like you said.
17:07What happened?
17:08Well, I wrapped it up and explained as best I could.
17:10Did he go off his head?
17:11No, he just looked confused.
17:13Were you explaining?
17:14I could have bet money on it.
17:17I was only trying to help, May.
17:20Hello, gorgeous.
17:22Hello, Percy.
17:24How's the most beautiful girl in Atlee?
17:26Oh, give over.
17:28Listen, let's dance next Saturday.
17:30Are you going with anyone?
17:31Not at the moment.
17:33Why don't we go together, then?
17:35Oh, Percy, I'd love to.
17:38But I thought you were going with that Amy Matlock.
17:41Yeah, I was, but she's tied up till 9.30.
17:44I told her she could join us later.
17:47Will you be coming, May?
17:49I expect so.
17:51Will you bring Gloria?
17:52Probably.
17:54Oh, it should be a great night, then, shouldn't it?
17:56My lovely...
17:58Yeah, great.
18:00Oh, well, I'll push off now and help with the furniture.
18:03See you.
18:04See you.
18:06Give us a glass of water, May.
18:08I can feel one of me heads coming on.
18:13Is that you, Harry?
18:15I've brought round one of his chairs.
18:17And here's two more.
18:19Where do they go?
18:20Oh, here.
18:22The geffins gone on them, too.
18:24Take them up to my box and I'll see to them later.
18:27Here.
18:29Why were you laughing at me?
18:31And waving your arms about when I passed you this morning.
18:34Mind your own business.
18:37Harry, I'm getting Mr Parkins' bath ready.
18:40Help me take his top off.
18:44Will you undress yourself?
18:46The top of his bath, Harry.
18:53Here.
18:55That copper'll never boil.
18:57The wind's in the wrong direction.
18:59May's hotting up her urn to top him up.
19:04It's a long way to stag around with a boiling urn, innit?
19:07We shall utilise buckets.
19:11Here.
19:12That door used to lead to May's kitchen.
19:16I papered it over after the war.
19:19I expect I could soon undo it again.
19:22Do it in a thrice, could you?
19:24There's no need to take the mickey.
19:30Where should I put these?
19:32On your head.
19:34Don't be like that.
19:36What should I do with these?
19:38Stick them under his bed with the other woman.
19:40What, three poes?
19:42Perhaps his pussy.
19:44Maybe he doesn't like using the same one twice.
19:47Hang on, Arnold, I'll give you a hand.
19:54Where are you going with those?
19:56Where are you going with those?
19:58I was going to put them under your bed.
20:00But they're not mine.
20:02They were on the van.
20:04They must have been left over from when it was last used.
20:06Put them back.
20:07You sure you don't want to hold on to them?
20:09What for?
20:10They're useful to put things in.
20:13Such as?
20:16I'll put them back.
20:21You don't look very comfortable.
20:23I expect it's all right with a mattress.
20:25It's small for you and me.
20:27Still, I expect we'd manage if we cuddled up a bit.
20:31I don't like that sort of talk.
20:33Oh, come on, Ethel, it's only in fun.
20:36I know.
20:38Well done.
20:39Thank you, Mr Barking.
20:41Ethel, do you fancy him?
20:43Percy, I've told you before, now stop it.
20:46But since you ask, no.
20:52There you are.
20:54What's the hot water state from the urn?
20:56I'll tell me.
20:57We've opened up a new accessibility.
21:03What in the world's going on?
21:05This is to give you free accessibility
21:07to Mr Barking's bathroom.
21:09Yeah.
21:10I opened it up so you could bring through the hot water.
21:12Well, you'd better close it again.
21:14Jack'll have a fit.
21:15I'll do it in a thrice.
21:16But after we've filled the bath.
21:18Shut it up quick before he comes.
21:22I'll take those, Mr Barking.
21:24I can put them on top.
21:25Oh, thanks very much, Ralph.
21:27Just another few loads, Mr Barking,
21:29and then we'll clear the lot.
21:31Very good of you both.
21:32If you'd all like to gather in the refreshment room
21:34in about 20 minutes, I'd like to buy you all a beer.
21:37Thank you very much, Mr Barking.
21:38Tell the others.
21:42Now, Jack, as soon as this is over,
21:44you've got to talk to me.
21:45Must I?
21:46Yes, you must.
21:47You can't go on moping around like a bear
21:49with a sore wotsit.
21:51Right?
21:52Right.
21:53Thanks for the drink, Mr Barking.
21:54I must be getting back to the office.
21:56Don't go yet.
21:57I want to say a few words.
21:59Quiet, everyone.
22:00Mr Barking wants to say a few words.
22:04WHISTLE BLOWS
22:06What's the matter?
22:08WHISTLE BLOWS
22:09Don't whistle.
22:10You embarrass me.
22:11Me face goes red.
22:14I won't keep you.
22:15I just wanted to get us all together over a friendly pint.
22:18Half a pint.
22:22I wanted to thank you for all the help you've given me today.
22:25Any time, Mr Barking.
22:27Any time.
22:28You've all made me very welcome.
22:30I haven't.
22:34Now, we have the makings of a fine team here.
22:37We don't know whether or not Beeching plans to close us down,
22:40so all we can do is run a tight ship,
22:42or should I say a tight station.
22:44Not on half a pint.
22:45Jack!
22:47Anyway, thank you all.
22:52Can you get the last bit out of the bottom?
22:54Yes, of course.
22:55My lumbar regions are playing up in the most chronic fashion this evening.
23:00Well, that's just about got the lot.
23:02Good.
23:03Now, you tell Mr Barking his bath's ready.
23:05Right.
23:06I will obtain for him a towel.
23:11Well, thank you, Mr Barking, but I must be getting back to the wife.
23:15Yes, I suppose she'll have a meal ready for you.
23:17Oh, no, not Jessica, no.
23:19We eat late, because she'll not light the oven till I get home.
23:23Oh, watching the housekeeping, is she?
23:25No.
23:26You see, last February, she turned the gas on
23:29and went to the back door to pay the coalman.
23:32So once she put a match to it, she blew her eyebrows off.
23:41Vera says your bath's ready.
23:43Oh.
23:45She's getting you a towel.
23:47I think she'll scrub your back for you if you give her a bit of encouragement.
23:50Laurie, behave yourself.
23:53Well, I'll be off, then.
23:55Thank you, May.
23:58Excuse me, Jack, I'll be off now, my gorgeous girl.
24:01Don't forget we've got a date for that dance.
24:03I won't.
24:04Here, wear that red dress.
24:05Everyone will think I'm taking a film star.
24:07Oh, give over.
24:08Are you coming, Percy?
24:10I'll be right with you.
24:12I need you at the roller skate.
24:14I keep falling over.
24:17I need a lot of support.
24:21You're wasting your time with him, Ethel.
24:23He'll let you down.
24:25I know he will.
24:27Still, he's there now, isn't he?
24:30Wilfred, here.
24:39May, love?
24:40Yes, Jack?
24:42Ethel's been talking to me like...
24:44After she'd talked to you,
24:46and I'm sorry if I've been carrying on a bit odd,
24:49but you know what I'm like.
24:51That's all right, Jack.
24:53It's just that...
24:56I love you a lot.
24:58A great big lot.
25:00And the thought of losing you...
25:03well, drives me a bit palmy.
25:07Oh, Jack, you won't lose me.
25:11Ever?
25:12Ever.
25:14Promise?
25:17I promise.
25:20Well, that's all right, then.
25:24I'll give it you in writing if you like.
25:27Oh, don't go on.
25:30Let's go home.
25:32You go home.
25:34I've just got to clear up here first.
25:42CLATTERING
25:47Hello, Jack. Everything all right?
25:50As if you didn't know.
25:54Thanks, love.
26:00Everything all right?
26:02Fingers crossed.
26:03You feel much better when you told the truth
26:05and got it off your chest, don't you?
26:07Oh, much better.
26:09Right. Come and help me empty the urn into these buckets.
26:30No need to pay any mind to me.
26:32My husband was an engine driver.
26:35Here's your towel.
26:37Not very big, I'm afraid.
26:39But I expect you'll manage.
26:42One way or the other.
26:47I'll leave you alone, then.
26:50Thank you, Mrs Plumtree.
26:52I think we know each other well enough now
26:55for you to call me Vera.
26:58Oh, yes.
27:00Thank you, Vera.
27:03My pleasure.
27:05Said so.
27:18Right. That's just about got the lot.
27:21These buckets are heavy to carry round to his house.
27:24We don't have to carry them round.
27:27Come through here.
27:36Harry's opened up the old door.
27:38He's going to paper it up again tomorrow.
27:40That's handy.
27:54You need to get a bigger sponge.
28:01Not much bigger, though.
28:36Oh, Dr Beeching, what a naughty man you are.
28:40Oh, Dr Beeching, what have you done?
28:44When once we're off some trains to catch,
28:46Well, soon there will be none.
28:48I'll have to buy a bike,
28:50Plus a car to board a car.
28:52Oh, Dr Beeching, what a naughty man you are.
29:05Thanks for watching.