Taskmaster NZ S05 E03
Taskmaster NZ S05 E03
Taskmaster NZ S05 E04 >>> https://dai.ly/x940urg
Taskmaster NZ S05 E04 >>> https://dai.ly/x940urg
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00:00Hello.
00:01And...
00:02Two!
00:03Come on!
00:04Woo-hoo!
00:05That's for the haters.
00:06Come here.
00:07Come here.
00:08Jiggle a little.
00:09See?
00:10Oh!
00:11Yeah!
00:12Yeah!
00:13He-he-he!
00:14Nomai Pikimai and welcome to Taskmaster.
00:38Thanks for joining us tonight, unless you're somehow watching this illegally, in which
00:42case I'd like to say you're very naughty and I hope you like jail because that's exactly
00:48where you're going.
00:49For the rest of you though, my name is Jeremy Wells and I am the Taskmaster.
00:59Joining me on the stage tonight are four of Aotearoa's top thousand comedians.
01:05They are Abbey Howells, Ben Hurley, Hayley Sproul, and Tom Sainsbury.
01:16And as you may know, Tofinga Whipuli'a'i cannot be with us in the studio this season, so in
01:23his place, we're being haunted by ghosts from Taskmaster's past.
01:30Standing in tonight, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Matt Heath.
01:33It's an honour.
01:34It's an honour to be back.
01:36Next to me, as always, keeping track of the scores and adding them all up like a big calculator
01:41made of human meat, it's my trusty assistant, Paul Williams!
01:49I'm not wearing a wire.
01:54It makes me think that you are wearing a wire.
01:55Why would you say that?
01:56Well, I say it because I'm not wearing a wire.
01:59That's why I'd say it.
02:00Paul, we can literally see it.
02:01It's like it's right there.
02:02In fact, we're all wearing them.
02:05It's how we're being heard right now.
02:07OK, but this one's wireless.
02:12All right.
02:15What's this week's prize task?
02:17Tonight, we have asked our contestants to bring in the best thing that you are confident
02:23that Jeremy has never owned in his life.
02:26Potentially very risky for our contestants, this one.
02:30Hayley?
02:31What have you brought in?
02:32I've taken a stab in the dark here because I don't know you that well, Jeremy.
02:36So I have brought in something I assume you haven't owned, which is a My First Period
02:40kit.
02:41You've got Women's Day, Woman's Day, Women's Weekly and Woman Magazine, because you are
02:48now a woman.
02:49There's pads, there's tampons, there's some fresh period undies in there.
02:51There's just everything you would need for your first period.
02:54I'm assuming you haven't owned one of these before?
02:56No, but I do have a 14-year-old daughter.
02:59Wow, you could share it with her.
03:02Matt, you are representing Tofinga tonight.
03:07What have you brought in?
03:08Well, I also don't know you that well, Jeremy, but you strike me as a sort of pampered kind
03:13of individual.
03:14So what I've brought in is something that you will never have experienced, and it's
03:19normal, cheap, low thread count bed linen.
03:26That's not linen, that's polyester.
03:27I can smell it from here.
03:28Get it off the screen.
03:29I don't even want to see it.
03:30I don't want to see it.
03:31Let's move on.
03:32Tom.
03:33Okay, having broken into your house, I know that you've already got the Wellington Beehive
03:41version and you've already got the Uluru version, but have you got the Sydney Opera House Puzzle?
03:48What?
03:49Do you like puzzles?
03:50I hate puzzles.
03:51Don't you like having fun?
03:56There's nothing fun about doing a puzzle.
03:58I mean, there's the picture.
03:59There it is there.
04:01It's been done before.
04:02We know it exists.
04:03I can honestly say I have never once done a puzzle.
04:07I've never picked up a piece to even do a puzzle.
04:10Have you ever got your staff to do it?
04:13I do a lot of puzzles.
04:15Abbey.
04:16Yes?
04:17What did you bring in?
04:18I made you a bullet journal.
04:20I made it Jeremy's journal, top secret, and I've decorated it.
04:25On the next page, just gratitude, you know, today I'm grateful for.
04:30And then on the next page, nice moments, you know, for example, being given this journal
04:35by my new friend, Abbey.
04:38So.
04:39That's beautiful.
04:40That is beautiful.
04:41It's very thoughtful.
04:42Thank you, Jeremy.
04:43I put it together.
04:44I sat at my coffee table and I said, I think he's going to like this, Abbey, and my mum
04:47thinks so too.
04:48I think if she sees it, it's lovely, Abbey.
04:53Ben.
04:55People might think of you as being a sort of button down, you know, clean cut high achiever.
05:00But I know for a fact, you were kicked out of a number of high schools, isn't that correct?
05:05One high school.
05:06That's good.
05:07Well, I was head boy of my high school.
05:09Were you?
05:10I was, of Harwara High School, just calm down, it just meant I didn't impregnate anybody.
05:16They give you a badge?
05:17They give you, they give you a plaque, Jeremy.
05:20And there it is there.
05:21I was head boy of Harwara High School 1997.
05:24I guarantee you don't have a head boy plaque.
05:28They give you a plaque?
05:29Yeah.
05:30Like you might forget that you were head boy or something?
05:32I will never forget that.
05:35Is head boy still in your CV?
05:37I mean, Tom, I don't have a CV.
05:42People just sort of know.
05:44All right, how am I going to score this?
05:48Have you had any of these items before?
05:49I have had terrible linen.
05:52So, I kind of feel like, Matt, you may come in for one point there.
05:57No.
05:58Tough moment.
05:59I have also had gratitude journals in the past, Abbey, which means two for you.
06:03Ben, I don't like a gloater, so three for you.
06:07That's more than I was expecting, I'll be honest.
06:10Four for you, Hayley, and there's no way I've ever had a puzzle anywhere near me.
06:15Five points for Tom.
06:16Well done, Tom.
06:17Well done.
06:18Okay, Paul, should we get down to business?
06:24If you like marshmallows, just buy some at the shop, they're not expensive, and just
06:29eat them.
06:30Anyway, enjoy this task.
06:31Can't see him.
06:32Oh, he's there.
06:33Oh, it's a tiny little one.
06:48So cute.
06:49Fun little task you got there.
06:50Do I put these on him, I guess?
06:51Oh, yeah, because this is tiny.
06:52I've actually got really good vision, I don't even really need these.
06:56I still can't see it.
06:58If you can read it, that'll help.
07:00Throw a marshmallow over the wall.
07:03And catch it in your mouth.
07:04You must wear Zoom goggles, that's these, right?
07:08The whole time.
07:09Fewest attempts wins.
07:11You have until you catch a marshmallow in your mouth.
07:15Your time starts now.
07:18Oh, my gosh.
07:19How do I do that?
07:20How do I throw it over the wall and catch it in my own mouth?
07:23Well, that's the task.
07:24That's what you've got to figure out.
07:28Right, let's see some hilariously inaccurate marshmallow tossing.
07:34This time, it's women and children last.
07:37First up, it's the fellas Ben Tefinga and Tom.
07:40Okay, here we go.
07:43Too far.
07:47Too far.
07:48Leave it.
07:54Oh, too far again.
07:55Don't even think about it.
07:58It's too late.
08:03I reckon I can just run it down the wall.
08:06Oh, oh, oh, it hit my mouth.
08:09Oy yi yi yi yi yi.
08:11Oh, no, it was so close.
08:14Come on, Paul.
08:15You've got to hype me up better.
08:17Okay, sorry.
08:18You can do this.
08:19Oh, man, it's too hype.
08:21Come on, you might be able to do this.
08:28Oy yi yi.
08:33It's in.
08:36Oh, five.
08:40Five.
08:41Is it five?
08:42One, two, three, four, five.
08:45Thank you, Tom.
08:47Peace.
08:48Thank you, Tefinga.
08:49Want a marshmallow?
08:50Yes, please.
08:51Come on.
08:52Hey, bubby.
08:59Ben and Tom, how did that wall taste?
09:02Bricky?
09:03Definitely wasn't bricky.
09:06I think it tasted like crayons.
09:09You guys managed to get the marshmallows in your mouth,
09:12but Tefinga was the only person who managed to do it
09:15without looking like a complete numpty.
09:17Yeah.
09:18Well, he didn't raise his head or open his mouth
09:20for the first five,
09:22so he looked cool for a while.
09:24The first time he actually opened his mouth and looked up,
09:26went straight in.
09:27Yeah, I thought his method was way off,
09:29but it looked really good when it happened.
09:31It looked so cool.
09:32So much better than us, Tom.
09:33Yeah.
09:34We're just a couple of wall lickers.
09:38Tom, 20 attempts.
09:40Tefinga, 19 attempts.
09:42Ben, only seven attempts.
09:44Oh, my God.
09:45Yes.
09:46That's good, right?
09:47It's like golf.
09:48Yes.
09:49Yeah, OK.
09:50If you'd like to try this one at home,
09:52why not punch a big hole through a wall in your house
09:54and give it a go?
09:55You have the length of one ad break.
09:57Back soon with more Taskmaster.
09:59Ka kite ฤkua nei.
10:08Welcome back to Taskmaster.
10:10Paul, I believe we were mid-task
10:12before we were so rudely interrupted.
10:14That's right.
10:15Our contestants were tasked with throwing a marshmallow
10:18over a wall and catching it in their mouth
10:20all while wearing a pair of Zoom goggles.
10:22Up next, her hair is the same colour
10:24as 50% of marshmallows.
10:26It's Hayley Sproul.
10:28Oh, for God's sake.
10:30It's Hayley Sproul.
10:32It's Hayley Sproul.
10:34It's Hayley Sproul.
10:37Oh, for God's sake, Paul.
10:39My arm's just too short.
10:41I want, like, a little pincer.
10:43There might be tongs in the kitchen.
10:45Can you take me?
10:46Could you?
10:47OK.
10:48Don't you fall, cos it'll be a real mess.
10:50OK.
10:51Have you ever looked after an old woman?
10:53No.
10:54You'll be quite good, Paul.
10:56You've got a gentle way.
10:59Jeebus creepus.
11:01Ah!
11:02Ah!
11:03Ah!
11:04Oh, no!
11:06That was my worst one yet.
11:07Yeah.
11:08I need to create some sort of funnel system, I think.
11:10Yeah, great.
11:12OK, I think this is good.
11:16Oh.
11:18LAUGHTER
11:20CHEERING
11:22Oh, no.
11:23LAUGHTER
11:26Yay!
11:28APPLAUSE
11:29There you go.
11:30Great.
11:31Yeah.
11:32I think there was some real Kiwi ingenuity on display there,
11:35but you probably say pushing the boundaries
11:37of what you would say the word catch.
11:39I caught it.
11:41You...
11:42We saw me catch it.
11:44You caught it with a funnel.
11:46It just felt a bit droppy to me.
11:48It was not droppy.
11:50It was throwy-catchy.
11:52Also, my agent is going to be talking to production
11:54about that shot.
11:55You've done me dirty there.
11:57Go crazy, internet.
11:58Make the memes.
11:59All that.
12:00LAUGHTER
12:02I would say Ben and Tom's staying quite quiet
12:04in this discussion.
12:05Aren't they?
12:06There was quite a vertical drop from their throws as well.
12:08We've got to go to ads, I think.
12:10No, we just came back from an ad.
12:12Whereas my team was quite clearly...
12:14Yeah.
12:15No-one's debating that Dwarflinga did a great job.
12:17No doubt about it.
12:18Let's just come back to this in a second,
12:20cos I can't help but notice that we've left one person to last.
12:22She's a queen,
12:24and she's generating a lot of buzz.
12:26It's Abby.
12:30I reckon I'm going to do it right away.
12:33LAUGHTER
12:35OK, I'm going to look at the task again.
12:37OK.
12:39There's going to be another way!
12:41Throw a marshmallow over the wall
12:43and catch it in your mouth.
12:45Doesn't necessarily say at the same time.
12:47If I throw a marshmallow over the wall
12:49and then catch it in my mouth...
12:51Still kind of doing it.
12:53Incoming!
12:55Mwah!
12:57Nice.
12:59Part one done.
13:02Catch it in my mouth.
13:04Ah, OK.
13:06LAUGHTER
13:08Right, there was a buzz, Paul.
13:10We're coming back for another one.
13:12Throw it over the wall.
13:14Catch it in my mouth.
13:16OK, there was a buzz as well, Paul.
13:18Throw it over the wall.
13:20Catch it in my mouth.
13:22LAUGHTER
13:24OK, there was a buzz too.
13:26Throw it over the wall.
13:28Catch it in my mouth.
13:30LAUGHTER
13:32Good. Damn it.
13:34LAUGHTER
13:36Mustn't get stressed, Abby.
13:38No-one's dying.
13:40OK.
13:42LAUGHTER
13:44LAUGHTER
13:46Wow, Paul!
13:48APPLAUSE
13:50I think this is the first time
13:52on Taskmaster that someone's ever found
13:54a loophole that's actually made it
13:56harder to complete the task.
13:59It truly did not occur to me
14:01to put my hand through the hole.
14:03LAUGHTER
14:05Paul passed you the task through the hole.
14:07Oh, my whole life it's like,
14:09don't put your hand in the hole.
14:11LAUGHTER
14:13So how many times did it take Abby to actually get it?
14:15So nine times.
14:17You see, I feel like the task
14:19was really to throw it over
14:21and catch it in the same kind of action.
14:23And so I'm going to disqualify Abby.
14:25GASPS
14:27But these guys were dropping as well, were they?
14:29They were all dropping.
14:31So, unfortunately, you all get no points.
14:33Oh!
14:35And Tofinga gets five points.
14:37Team Tofinga! Yes!
14:39APPLAUSE
14:41Unbelievable.
14:43OK, Paul, so how's the scoreboard looking?
14:45On six points in the lead, it's Tofinga.
14:47APPLAUSE
14:49All right.
14:51Let's barrel on to another task,
14:53I reckon.
14:56It's called Switcheroo.
14:58MUSIC
15:04Hi. Hello, Ben.
15:06Hi. Hello, Tom.
15:08Hello, Tofinga.
15:10Hey, mate.
15:12Mmm.
15:14Lamps.
15:16Let there be light.
15:18You like lamps?
15:20I love lamp.
15:22Turn on a lamp in the lab.
15:25I'm seated at the desk in the study
15:27when the lamp turns on.
15:29Fastest one.
15:31You have one hour maximum.
15:33Your time starts now.
15:35Oh, yeah, there we go.
15:37Salt lamp. Positive ions.
15:39Oh, that's lovely, isn't it?
15:41Grab this one.
15:43I'll just use that.
15:45Auto.
15:47Auto.
15:51Woof! Woof!
15:53Yeah?
15:55APPLAUSE
16:01Abby, how do you arouse a lamp?
16:03They're already pretty hard.
16:05That's right.
16:07LAUGHTER
16:09OK, should we see how everyone went?
16:11The starting initials of these comedians
16:13are T, B, A.
16:15OK, I'll announce them now.
16:17They're T, B and A.
16:19It's Tom, Ben and Abby.
16:22Just based on vibe.
16:24Boom!
16:26OK, that's my guy.
16:28I need a pulley system.
16:30I need to make a sound
16:32while sitting here.
16:34If I've got some string...
16:36I could pull something
16:38and make a noise.
16:40Nice.
16:42This looks pretty loud.
16:44What's the plan?
16:46I'm just going to sit up there
16:48and pull the string.
16:50See if it works.
16:52There goes nothing.
16:54Come on.
17:00Oh, no, it broke!
17:02Oh, no!
17:04OK, I need the rope.
17:06Turns out the yarn's no good.
17:08How are we doing over there?
17:10Oh.
17:12Yeah, I feel like
17:14this should work.
17:16We'll give this one a go.
17:19We'll give this one a go.
17:21OK.
17:23What's happening?
17:33Come on!
17:35I'm going to glue it to the table.
17:37OK.
17:39Oh, my God!
17:45I'm just going to give it a go.
17:48Ouch! It's giving me rope burn!
18:06Yes!
18:08Ah!
18:10Yes!
18:14Stop the clock.
18:16Well done!
18:18What was quite interesting
18:20was watching the difference between
18:22Tom pulling his piece of yarn
18:24like a young schoolboy pulling on a piece of wool
18:26and then you pulling it
18:28and you look like you're reeling in a marlin.
18:30His yarn was actually digging into
18:32a bit of wall quite hard
18:34and has damaged the house.
18:36I don't think people appreciate
18:38so there's like multiple
18:40stairwells, right, so you have to kind of
18:42hook it around a whole lot of stuff
18:45to get the pulley system going
18:47but I don't know, I guess I was just lucky.
18:49It only required a gentle touch, Ben.
18:51It's not my way, Jeremy.
18:53Bullet a gate is how they call me.
18:55He can't help but be an alpha.
18:57Yeah.
18:59Wow!
19:01I hated that.
19:03Abby, you went with the glue.
19:05Yeah, I'm also thankful that
19:07I spent, I would say, a really significant
19:09amount of time trying to turn on the lamp sexually
19:11and I'm glad
19:13they didn't show it.
19:15She did write a letter,
19:17quite a saucy letter
19:19to one of the lamps.
19:21Yeah, the lamp left me on read
19:23unfortunately.
19:25Overall, 28 minutes
19:27and 57 seconds for Abby.
19:29Ben, 25 minutes and 1 second.
19:31And Tom, a mere
19:339 minutes and 45 seconds.
19:35Wow!
19:37Have we got time for one more?
19:39We sure do, Jeremy.
19:42A lightbulb went off above his head
19:44every time he had a good idea
19:46this guy's power bill would be through the roof.
19:48It's Tofinga.
19:50I must be seated at the desk
19:52in the study.
19:54Press the desk down here, mate.
19:56So you want us to bring the desk down?
19:58Yep, in the seat.
20:00You'll be seated at the desk
20:02that's in the study, but the desk will be here?
20:04Yeah.
20:06Okay.
20:12This one's cool, eh?
20:22Need a hand pull.
20:24That's okay.
20:36You tell me when.
20:38Ready.
20:41Ready.
20:45Issa!
20:47Thank you, Paul.
20:51Shall I take the desk back up then?
20:53Yeah, if you can do that, please, mate.
20:55Okay.
20:57Oh my god.
20:59Matt,
21:01you've got to say that I think you found quite a good loophole.
21:03Yeah, work
21:05smarter, not harder.
21:07Where did it say that you had to be in the study?
21:09The wording was at the desk in the study.
21:11I think I can say
21:13that we will accept Tofinga's
21:15efforts.
21:17And I think he'll be judged on his time.
21:19And I'm sure his time
21:21was incredibly fast.
21:23Well, the desk was quite heavy.
21:25So 28 minutes
21:27and 28 seconds.
21:29Well, that's on you. He can't be blamed for the laziness
21:31of his staff.
21:33Honestly, 28, if you knew how hard it was to move
21:35that desk.
21:38Well, we appreciate that. We appreciate your service.
21:40We've just seen four comedians
21:42approach to turning on a lamp.
21:44So what on earth has the other one done?
21:46We'll find out after the break.
21:48See you soon.
22:00Nau mai, hoi te mai. Welcome back to Taskmaster,
22:02New Zealand's most cutting-edge TV
22:04show. Tonight, we're watching
22:06people turn on lamps.
22:08Yes, but this isn't your grandmother's lamp turning
22:10on TV show.
22:12Alright, Paul, let's see how our last contestant went.
22:14Like I'm greeting a friend whose first name
22:16is Lee and surname is Sproul.
22:18Hey, Lee Sproul.
22:22I'm going to go for this guy, I think.
22:26OK, I need to time something loud.
22:28OK.
22:30You're going to have to be so quiet, Paul.
22:32OK.
22:35OK.
22:39How will I know?
22:41Did it happen, Paul?
22:43You told me
22:45not to make noise.
22:49Did it not turn on?
22:51No. Did the jug boil?
22:53Yeah.
22:57OK, I'm going to try again.
22:59It's not a candle, Hayley.
23:01Oh, bastard.
23:04It's not a candle.
23:18Did it work? Yes.
23:20When I was upstairs? No.
23:22When? You were on the stairs.
23:26I think the jug boiled too quickly
23:28because it was hot.
23:30If I call out your name, call back to me.
23:32I'm just scared that my voice
23:34might activate the light.
23:36That's the point.
23:38That's not a rule.
23:40That can't happen.
23:42Paul!
23:44Is it on?
23:46I thought you called me.
23:48No.
23:50Just say yes.
23:52Paul, if you can hear me, say
23:54I hear you.
23:56Yes, I can hear you.
23:58So what is it that you're not understanding?
24:01Did you hear me call Paul?
24:03Not well.
24:05But you heard it?
24:07Yeah.
24:09I'll say Paul.
24:11But wait until I'm upstairs
24:13and then you're going to go
24:15Yes!
24:17The jug only just ended.
24:19Are you going to boil the jug?
24:21Paul, I'm abandoning the jug.
24:23You didn't give the jug a chance.
24:25I gave it three chances.
24:27I don't think so.
24:29Paul!
24:31Yes!
24:35How loud did you?
24:37Loud.
24:39Shot example for me.
24:41Yes!
24:43I think the jug
24:45is a good idea.
24:47Okay, are you ready?
24:49Yeah.
24:51I require nothing of you anymore, Paul.
24:53Okay.
24:56Does it all work?
24:58Yeah.
25:00Okay, do you want a cup of tea?
25:02Um...
25:08That just about killed me.
25:10Just about killed you?
25:12Yeah, how many times did Halle yell at you?
25:14I don't know.
25:16I don't know.
25:18I don't know.
25:20I don't know.
25:22I don't know.
25:25How many times did Halle yell at you?
25:2719.
25:29But then, basically, Paul was telling you
25:31use the jug.
25:33The jug was working well for you.
25:35It wasn't, but I was like, it's taking too long
25:37and you may see me going like this the whole time
25:39the room was getting so hot with the jug steam
25:41and I was running up and down the stairs
25:43then making that room hot
25:45it was just hot
25:47so I was like, let's just use a human.
25:49Should we talk timings?
25:51Yes, so Halle, 19 minutes and 56 seconds
25:53so 1 point for Abbey
25:552 points for Tufinga
25:573 points for Ben
25:594 points for Halle
26:01and the winner with 5 points, Tom Sainsbury!
26:03I never win anything!
26:05Would you do me the honour
26:07of bringing me another task, please, Paul?
26:09If you hate spoilers
26:11and you'd like to run to the bathroom
26:13or go and get some popcorn or a choc top
26:15this next task is the time to do it.
26:23Hello, Paul.
26:25Hello, Abbey.
26:27You alright, Paul?
26:29Hello, Tufinga.
26:31What have we got here?
26:33We've got genres here.
26:35Give it a nice firm spin.
26:45Courtroom drama.
26:47Fantasy.
26:49Martial arts.
26:53Sci-fi.
26:55I would kind of hope for war.
27:01Do I have to make a 15 minute short film
27:03that's a sword and sand?
27:05Film a trailer for a movie
27:07about this trailer.
27:09This trailer?
27:11Yeah.
27:13In the style of your given genre.
27:15Best trailer, trailer wins.
27:17You have 45 minutes, your time starts now.
27:19It has to be about the trailer.
27:22It has to feature prominently, I think.
27:24Does it have to be a trailer?
27:26You can use this any way you want.
27:28I could turn it into a spaceship.
27:30It's sort of military grey, isn't it?
27:32Yeah, I think this is like a military courtroom drama.
27:34I don't know what kind of fantasy to go about.
27:36Fantasy as in, like, elves.
27:38Or fantasy as in
27:40the stuff that I think about.
27:46Abbey, your mind has gone straight to war.
27:48Yes, I'd be lying if I said
27:50I didn't enjoy military strategy.
27:52What?
27:54It makes sense, it's like a puzzle
27:56except people die.
27:58Whose trailer are we going to see first?
28:00Up first, with his martial arts trailer,
28:02it's Tofinga.
28:04What are you doing here?
28:06I live here.
28:08In this trailer?
28:10Uh-huh.
28:12Why don't your family love you?
28:14I'm nobody.
28:16And I'll always be nobody.
28:19I'm gonna make you into somebody.
28:21Inhale.
28:23Exhale.
28:29Nobody.
28:31It's all in the balance.
28:36You can do it.
28:41And now your final challenge.
28:43To defeat the trailer.
28:49Amazing.
28:53Speed.
28:59Nobody.
29:01Are you ready?
29:03I'm ready.
29:05Nobody. You are now somebody.
29:15I love a training montage
29:18when the main piece of advice is
29:20inhale, outhale.
29:22It's a beautiful mantra.
29:24Sometimes you just gotta remember to breathe.
29:26Why did you choose to kick the trailer so weakly?
29:28Uh, well monthly
29:30didn't seem like enough kick.
29:34Okay, well that's enough
29:36terrible short films made by amateurs for now.
29:38It's time to watch some terrible short films
29:40made by professionals, the ads.
29:42We'll see you after these.
29:48Welcome back to Taskmaster
29:50the show where comedians
29:52go head-to-head in the hopes
29:54of winning a souvenir
29:56from Ben Hurley's glory days.
29:58Paul, what are we doing here?
30:00Our contestants have been tasked
30:02with making a trailer
30:04featuring a trailer
30:06in their randomly selected genre.
30:08Who's up next, Paul?
30:10It's Ben and his trailer
30:12for a courtroom drama
30:14called,
30:16In a world of war
30:18Direct your fire, it's a trailer!
30:20It's that Yankee trailer!
30:22There are leaders
30:24and trailers.
30:26We're under heavy fire!
30:28I'm going in alone!
30:30You stay where you are, soldier.
30:32Sometimes, a trailer
30:38doesn't want to trail.
30:41Hey!
30:43No!
30:45Retreat! Retreat!
30:49Trailer, that charge you pulled
30:51might have killed all of the enemy
30:53but you put everybody in a platoon at risk.
30:55You're under arrest!
30:57What?
30:59Order! Order!
31:01I'm a trailer,
31:03not a traitor.
31:05Sometimes the strongest.
31:07Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
31:09come from behind.
31:11Oh sure,
31:13sometimes those indicators ain't working
31:15but you'll see that the only thing
31:17that my client is guilty of
31:19is being the bravest damn trailer
31:21this man's army has ever seen!
31:23Surely a trailer is supposed to be
31:25behind a car!
31:27In a way, aren't we all trailers?
31:29Bailiff,
31:31what is your verdict?
31:33The jury finds the defendant
31:36a few good trailers.
31:42Yes, that was good.
31:44Maybe it says something about me
31:46but I really want to see that.
31:48There's a little bit of that trailer
31:50in all of us.
31:52Can you tell us?
31:54What was the verdict?
31:56Was it guilty or not guilty?
31:58Spoiler, it's fine.
32:00You'll find out this spring.
32:02I thought the CG on the trailer
32:05only see the hand about half the time.
32:07Also in terms of strategy
32:09I think just rushing
32:11the enemy
32:13never really works very well.
32:15What about the charge of the light brigade?
32:17Checkmate.
32:19Okay Paul,
32:21give me another trailer trailer please.
32:23Up next with her science fiction
32:25trailer trailer, lights,
32:27camera, Abbey.
32:35Year 56, year 27,
32:37month 9.
32:41Time to cool off your bits Houston.
32:43I think I've finally found us
32:45a planet.
32:47Initiating landing sequence.
32:57This is a small step for man
32:59but a giant leap
33:01for me.
33:03Because I've got short legs.
33:09Atmosphere seems pretty clear to me.
33:11Vegetation is sparse
33:13but the soil is dead.
33:19What's this?
33:21There shouldn't be a broom here.
33:27I've got to get back on the ship.
33:30Captain's log, captain's log.
33:32I've just been outside into the planet.
33:34There's someone there.
33:36Get me out of here.
33:38If I don't come back please
33:40pass on a message to my son.
33:44I'm sorry.
33:46I'm not responding.
33:48What do you mean you're not responding?
33:50I've got to get off this planet.
34:00I did not see that creep coming at the end.
34:02No.
34:04Jean-Pierre.
34:06Jean-Pierre from Abbey's goal celebration.
34:08Of course.
34:10Episode 1.
34:12Yeah, I also realised I used
34:14I really relied on my acting
34:16to sell that
34:18and I shouldn't have.
34:20Well, the interesting part
34:22was you said it in the future
34:24in 2027
34:26which for someone of my age
34:28is only about three provisional tax payments away.
34:30Oh, you know
34:32our boy Elon Musk
34:34he'll get us up there.
34:36Okay, who's next Paul?
34:38It's time for a sword and sandals epic.
34:40Here's Tom Sainsbury.
34:42In a world of swords
34:44and Birkenstock sandals
34:46there was Lactatious
34:48and his chariot trailer.
34:50Quick Lactatious,
34:52the Williamsonites are taking the citadel.
34:55Well, I'm not going anywhere
34:57without my chariot trailer.
35:03Jesus Zeus
35:05made me a gladiator.
35:07Lactatious, you must fight
35:09the wild beasts for the entertainment
35:11of the people!
35:17Yes!
35:25As a reward
35:27for killing that rhino
35:29right and proper
35:31we're sending you across the Mediterranean.
35:35Here I am
35:37on the shores of Breastedonious
35:39will I ever be reunited
35:41with my chariot trailer ever again?
35:45Anguish!
35:47Will Lactatious
35:49ever be reunited
35:51with his chariot trailer
35:54Lactatious 2025.
36:00Really good.
36:02Okay Tom, so any reason why you decided
36:04that Paul would suit the name Lactatious?
36:06I don't know where that came from.
36:08I think there were lots of nude mannequins
36:10floating around and I think it was just playing on
36:12I think the female form was just playing
36:14on my mind.
36:16Some boys just look like they like milk.
36:18You do like milk.
36:20I like milk a lot.
36:22Alright, there should be one last trailer
36:24is there?
36:26That's right and it's a fantasy trailer
36:28from the twisted mind of Hayley Sproul.
36:30Once upon a time
36:32in Faydale where a myriad
36:34of creatures once roamed free
36:36a wary fairy
36:38and a travelling beast
36:40form one of the deepest relationships
36:42of all time.
36:44Hello fairy.
36:46Hello travelling beast.
36:48What sell you in that trailer of yours?
36:51If you want to see the wares of my trailer
36:53you have to come inside it.
36:55I have little in the way of money.
36:57Perhaps you could pay me travelling beast
36:59in other ways.
37:01I have literally no money.
37:03Perhaps you could instead
37:05f**k me.
37:07F**k me, shove it in f**k.
37:09F**k
37:11F**k
37:13F**k up the f**k
37:15F**k you
37:17F**k
37:19What say you beast?
37:21Okay
37:23Grab on.
37:25The lust of the fairies
37:27a tale of love, betrayal
37:29and an unexpected
37:31pregnancy.
37:37Will I ever see you again?
37:39I don't know. If my father finds out
37:41I literally f**ked the living
37:43s**t out of a travelling beast
37:45he'll never forgive me.
37:48You are no daughter of mine.
37:50Run beast. You must go.
37:52Now. Go beast.
37:54Leave.
37:56A wary fairy and a travelling beast
37:58face a father's wrath
38:00for love.
38:02Pregnant.
38:12Wow.
38:14I wasn't actually aware they were going to bleep that.
38:17That's a great story I've got to say.
38:19I got a bit hot under the...
38:21Well that's what it's supposed to do.
38:23It's really leaning into that sort of smut era.
38:25It makes me feel physically sick.
38:27The look on your face when the fairy
38:29explained what she was going to do to you
38:31you've never heard those words before.
38:33No. And I haven't heard them since.
38:35Yet you still went, okay.
38:39Alright. This is going to be
38:41quite hard to score because I really enjoyed
38:43all of those but I'm going to give
38:45I'm going to give Tom two points
38:47because I think as a published director
38:49and actor I was expecting a lot.
38:51Oh dear. Fair call.
38:53I think Tofinga should get
38:55three points. Four points
38:57for Hayley and I thought five
38:59points for Ben Hurley.
39:01I thought that was very good.
39:03Yay!
39:05Okay. We're about to cut to some ads
39:07but if you make it through them I've got
39:09a real treat for you.
39:11A special live task.
39:14We'll be back right after this.
39:26Nau mai, hoki mai.
39:28Welcome back to Taskmaster
39:30where our five brave comedians are about
39:32to take to the stage for a live task
39:34but first let's see
39:36who's in with a chance of winning
39:38this episode. Paul, what are the scores?
39:40It's very close. In joint second
39:42it's Ben and Tofinga and in first equal
39:44on 12 it's Hayley and Tom.
39:46Nice and close.
39:48Here we go.
39:50And Abbey's
39:52on four.
39:54Humbling, yeah.
39:56Let's get on with our live task
39:58and contestants please head up to the
40:00stage.
40:06Okay Paul, what sick twisted game
40:08have you thought up for us tonight?
40:11Could you please do us the honours of explaining it?
40:13It would be my honour.
40:15In your teams, take turns
40:17to each roll an office chair
40:19towards the edge of the stage.
40:21You must roll your chair from behind the line.
40:23The closest team
40:25chair to the edge of the stage
40:27wins one point.
40:29Any chairs that go over the edge
40:31will lose their team one point.
40:33Best score over three
40:35rounds wins.
40:38Oh, wow.
40:40I'm happy with that.
40:42Black team.
40:52Oh, amazing.
40:58Oh, it's a nice shot though.
41:00Slightly pearly.
41:05Beautiful, that's perfect.
41:07Oh, my God.
41:1140.5
41:1332. Yes.
41:17Yeah, nice.
41:19Stop, stop, stop. Go, go, go.
41:23Oh, that's so good.
41:27Good.
41:29Oh, no, too much.
41:31No, you're right.
41:33It's okay.
41:37You got us a couple of centimetres there.
41:4730.
41:49One point for team red.
41:51We need to get all of these off
41:53and we need to win one.
41:57Oh, smart.
42:01Oh, that's a beautiful roll.
42:04Oh, you did it.
42:06It's already done.
42:16Minus one for black.
42:18I don't want to play it too safe.
42:22What place was that?
42:24I think if she crosses the line
42:26and touches the ground, it's void.
42:28Old fun sponge over here, eh?
42:30Okay.
42:32Hang on.
42:36Minus one.
42:38Minus two.
42:40One to go.
42:48Minus four.
42:50Plus one for black.
42:54We're going into sudden death.
42:56One roller from each team
42:59closest to the edge of the stage wins.
43:03Three, two, one.
43:05Too much.
43:13That's one of the best things I've ever seen in my life.
43:15Come on down and we'll score it.
43:23I really enjoyed that, Paul.
43:25Yes.
43:28How do you want to score it?
43:30How about team of two get two points
43:32team of three get three points.
43:34Okay.
43:38So how's everything looking
43:40for the overall series results so far?
43:42It's unbelievably close.
43:44There's only five points in it
43:46but with a one point lead in first
43:48it's Hayley Sproul.
43:50But what about
43:52tonight's winner?
43:54With 15 points
43:56is Tom Sainsbury.
43:58Hey.
44:00Congratulations Tom.
44:02You're now the proud owner of some things
44:04that I have never owned myself.
44:06Head up to the stage and enjoy your haul.
44:08Wow.
44:10Alright as we wrap up
44:12another successful episode
44:14it's time to look back and reflect
44:16on what we've learned.
44:18We've learned that sometimes a wall has a hole in it
44:20for a reason.
44:22We've learned it's a lot easier to turn on a lamp
44:24in the same room as it.
44:26We've learned that there is life on other planets
44:28and it looks a lot like
44:30Paul Williams.
44:32But most importantly of all
44:34we've learned that Tom Sainsbury is the winner
44:36of episode three.
44:38Ka kite anล.
44:54Woohoo.
44:56Tell me more.
44:58It's season five and we're running
45:00out of ideas.
45:02That's hard.
45:04Oh no. My man.
45:06This all makes me think maybe I need to get tested.
45:08You know what? I don't want any points.
45:10That task was dumb.
45:12It's probably my favourite task of all time.