Watch Online Hazel 1961 - s2ep17
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00:00And the exchange of views should be helpful to both our countries.
00:05I agree, Mr. Baxter. My office will cooperate in every way.
00:09Fine. How long have you been in our country now, Mr. Isaka?
00:12Nearly a year, but my daughter has just joined me.
00:16My English is not very good.
00:19Oh, I think you do just fine.
00:21Missy, speak to you for a minute.
00:24Excuse me, please.
00:27What is it, Hazel?
00:28Missy, are you sure the Consul General don't want no tea?
00:31Yes, I asked him. He said no.
00:33I could serve it in my kimono.
00:35No, Hazel.
00:36I could crawl in on my knees, you know, like a regular Japanese tea server.
00:39No, Hazel. They don't want it.
00:41Don't they want any coffee?
00:43Hazel, what's this all about?
00:45Oh, for Pete's sake, Missy, I ain't had a chance to meet him yet.
00:49All right. Come on in.
00:53Mr. Isaka, Missy Isaka.
00:55This is our maid, Hazel Burke.
00:57She's very anxious to meet you.
00:59How do you do, Miss Burke?
01:00How do you do?
01:01Pleased to meet you. Just call me Hazel.
01:04Oh, boy. That's the most gorgeous outfit I ever saw in my whole life.
01:08Thank you.
01:09Would you mind standing up?
01:11I do not mind.
01:13Terrific, ain't it?
01:14Would you mind turning?
01:17Oh, look. Your belt is all flat in the back.
01:20Hazel, that isn't a belt.
01:22It is a sash. It's supposed to be like that.
01:24In Japan, we call it an obi.
01:27Oh, it's real cute. What do you keep in there?
01:30Hazel, we do not keep anything in it.
01:34Oh. Well, it ain't very practical, is it?
01:37Hazel, for heaven's sake.
01:38Would you mind turning?
01:40Hm?
01:41Would you mind turning, please?
01:43Oh.
01:44It is beautiful. What do you keep in it?
01:47It is beautiful. What do you keep in it?
01:50Oh, I see what you mean.
01:52Terrific, ain't she?
02:17Oh, scour no more my eye.
02:46Good morning, Hazel.
02:47Oh, hi, Rosie.
02:49Come on in.
02:50Did they give you a free sample of this scour no more over at your house?
02:54Mm-hmm. I tried it.
02:55You know what I did?
02:57Right.
02:58One thing it does,
03:00it takes the skin right off your hands.
03:04Want a cup of coffee?
03:05Thanks, Hazel.
03:08I could use some coffee to cheer me up.
03:11Why? What's the matter?
03:12I'm not going to the lodge dance with Ernie.
03:14Why not?
03:15He insulted me.
03:16That don't sound like Ernie.
03:18Well, listen to this.
03:20I bought a new hat.
03:22The most gorgeous original Paris copy you ever did see, Hazel.
03:26And when I tried it on for Ernie, do you know what he did?
03:29No.
03:30He laughed at it.
03:31He laughed as though it were the funniest thing he ever saw.
03:34Oh, well, maybe he just suddenly remembered a joke he heard.
03:37Well, you can side with him if you want to.
03:39But I know he was laughing at my new hat.
03:41How can you be sure?
03:42Because he kept pointing at it.
03:44And laughing so hard that he couldn't even talk.
03:46Oh, well, you can't expect Ernie to know as much about Paris fashions as you and me do.
03:51Well, be that as it may, I broke my date for the dance with him.
03:55You're going with Barney, aren't you?
03:58Yeah.
03:59Oh, I know you're going to have a wonderful time.
04:01I'll bet he knows all the latest dances, like the cha-cha and the twist.
04:05Barney ain't even caught up with the minuet yet.
04:08Gee, I hate to think of you sitting home all by your lonesome.
04:12Why don't you come along with Barney and me?
04:14Oh, no, Hazel. Two's company.
04:17Wait a sec. Claude Hassock. You could have a date with him.
04:20I'll take it.
04:21Who is he?
04:22Barney's second cousin. He's in booking ladder company number seven.
04:26He steers the back end of the fire engine.
04:28Oh, he sounds very manly.
04:31Barney says he's the only one he knows that gets a salary for backseat driving.
04:36Why don't Barney tell him to get in touch with you?
04:38Well, then I better run along, Hazel, so I don't miss his call.
04:41Thanks a lot, Hazel.
04:42Oh, heck. That's what good friends are for.
04:48And that's the end of the chapter about George Washington, the father of our country.
04:53Gee, he was a pretty neat guy.
04:55To say the very least, son.
04:57And the most important story about him ain't even in that history book.
05:01What's that, Hazel?
05:02About when he was a little boy. Just about your age, Claude.
05:06What happened?
05:07Well, his dad gave him a hatchet for his birthday, and he was so excited he wanted to use it right away.
05:12Hey, that's just like Dad with the BB gun I got for my last birthday.
05:16Remember how I could hardly wait to...
05:18Son, please don't interrupt.
05:20I'm sorry.
05:21So George chopped down the first thing he saw, which happened to be his father's favorite cherry tree.
05:25Wow.
05:26Oh, boy.
05:27And Mr. W. was madder than George ever saw him before in his whole life.
05:31What did he do?
05:32Oh, he hollered in a loud voice,
05:34Who cut down my tree?
05:36You could hear him clear across the Potomac.
05:38So George knew he was going to be punished.
05:41He thought maybe Mr. W. would take away his hatchet.
05:44But he stood right up to his dad and he said,
05:46Sir, I cannot tell a lie. I did it with my little hatchet.
05:51And as far as we know, Harold, in his whole life, George Washington never told a lie.
05:55Is that how he got to be the father of our country?
05:59Well, that's certainly one of the reasons.
06:01If I never tell a lie, could I get to be president?
06:04Oh, I wouldn't count on that sport.
06:06Politics has changed some since George Washington's day.
06:11I'll get it, Mr. B.
06:14Baxter residence.
06:17Oh, who wants to speak to him?
06:20Just a minute.
06:21A Mr. Herman wants to speak to you, Mr. B.
06:23Oh, no, he's that insurance salesman I've been ducking all week.
06:26Tell him I'm out.
06:28He's right here.
06:30There you are.
06:34Hello, Mr. Herman.
06:36How are you?
06:37Yes, I heard you try to see me several times last week.
06:40No, I'll be tied up all day tomorrow.
06:44No, I'm not trying to avoid you.
06:48Thursday at two?
06:51All right, all right, I'll see you then.
06:54Goodbye.
06:55Now, just what was the big idea of that?
06:58The big idea of what, Mr. B.?
07:00The big idea of what, Mr. B.?
07:02I specifically told you I didn't want to talk to that man to tell him I was out.
07:07That would have been a lie.
07:10Well, it has nothing to do with a lie.
07:12It's merely a convenience to avoid something unpleasant.
07:16Everybody does it.
07:17Well, no matter what you call it,
07:19Harold is too young to know the difference between lying
07:21and you're telling me to tell that man you ain't here when you are.
07:25She's right, George.
07:27Well, I just don't think we should continue this discussion any further.
07:30Harold, it's time for bed.
07:31Aw, gee, just when it was getting interesting.
07:34No arguments, young man.
07:35You run along upstairs and get ready for bed.
07:37And don't forget to wash behind your ears.
07:40I already did when I washed for dinner.
07:42Oh?
07:43Let me see.
07:47Harold, you did not.
07:49Son, why did you lie to your mother?
07:51To avoid something unpleasant.
07:54Everybody does it.
07:56It's convenient.
07:57Well, unpleasant or not, you go wash behind your ears.
08:00Now scoot.
08:01Okay, good night, everybody.
08:02Good night.
08:03I guess we both know where he got that from, Mr. B.
08:08All right, so I told a harmless little white lie.
08:11What's so awful about that?
08:12You start him off telling little white lies,
08:14and before you know it, he'll be telling big black ones.
08:18She has a point, dear.
08:20Boy, the natives are sure ganging up on me tonight.
08:23Besides, you set him such a good example in other ways.
08:25You ought to stop lying to him, Mr. B.
08:28Hazel, I...
08:29Especially you being an attorney and all.
08:31What's that got to do with it?
08:33Well, it's got everything to do with it.
08:34That's what our law courts are for, the truth,
08:36the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
08:39It isn't every father who can hand down such a fine heritage to his son.
08:44Yes, the concept of law is a noble one.
08:47So let's us three make a promise not to say nothing that ain't the truth.
08:51Agreed.
08:52All right, agreed.
08:54I just hope I don't become the first lady president.
08:57And if anybody slips, I gotta put a quarter in Harold's cash register bank.
09:01That's a good idea.
09:02Fine with me.
09:03All right, well, I guess I better go do the dishes now.
09:06See you later, Mr. Washington.
09:08Hazel?
09:09Yes, sir?
09:10In the interest of clearing my conscience,
09:12I want to confess that I told a little white lie at dinner tonight.
09:16In front of Harold?
09:17I'm afraid so.
09:19Remember when you asked me how the soup was and I said it was delicious?
09:22Sure.
09:23But what was the lie?
09:25Actually, the soup was much too salty.
09:41Hi, Hazel.
09:42Have you got a minute?
09:43Oh, hi, Rosie.
09:44Come on in.
09:45Claude called.
09:46It's all set about the dance.
09:48Oh, how do you sound over the phone?
09:50Oh, nice and frisky.
09:52See, I brought over my new hat to show you.
09:54You know, the one that Ernie thought was so hysterical.
09:59Isn't it gorgeous?
10:04I didn't mean anything.
10:06Good morning, Rosie.
10:07Good morning, Harold.
10:09Well, Hazel, how do you like it?
10:11How do I like what?
10:13My hat.
10:18I think it's funny looking.
10:20Serious?
10:21Oh, stop teasing and tell me what you really think.
10:24That's what I think.
10:25I think it's funny looking.
10:27Hazel, you don't mean it.
10:29Well, I'm afraid I do.
10:31Hazel Burke, you're just jealous, that's what.
10:34No, I'm not.
10:35You asked me what I thought of it and I had to tell you.
10:37I think your hat's funny looking, too.
10:39Well, nobody asked you.
10:41Oh, don't get mad, Rosie.
10:42I didn't say it to hurt your feelings.
10:44You're my best friend.
10:45Well, I don't care what you say.
10:46I think it's a beautiful hat and I'm not your best friend, not anymore.
10:49But, Rosie.
10:50Goodbye.
10:56I think your muffins are burning.
10:58That ain't all that's burning.
11:00The muffins.
11:12Breakfast.
11:13Oh.
11:15Hazel, I've asked you a million times not to shout.
11:18How many times?
11:19Well, many times.
11:21Guess you owe me a quarter, Dad.
11:23I do not.
11:24There's a difference between a lie and a mere exaggeration.
11:27Oh, what's the difference, Mr. B?
11:29Well, a lie is patently untrue.
11:32Whereas an exaggeration is at least based on truth.
11:35Well, I don't think based on is what we agreed to.
11:37We promised to tell the truth, the whole truth.
11:40All right, all right.
11:42I'm just cooperating to avoid a semantic discussion with you before I've had coffee.
11:47Those muffins smell good.
11:49Oh, thanks, Missy.
11:50They almost burned.
11:51Here, try one with some of this red clover honey.
11:54How come they call it red clover honey?
11:56Well, because that's the kind of flowers the bees use, red clover.
11:59It's the only kind they like.
12:01That shows if you want to get ahead, you've got to be a specialist, even if you're a bee.
12:06Anyone seen the morning paper?
12:08Oh, yeah, here it is.
12:09Ain't much in it, Mr. B.
12:11The Security Council is meeting this morning,
12:13and there's going to be a sale in linens at Gray's Department Store,
12:17and Standard Utilities is up three points.
12:20You wouldn't by any chance like to tell me what Dick Tracy's up to, would you?
12:23Oh, no, Mr. B.
12:25I know how you look forward to the funnies.
12:28Well, I'm going shopping later.
12:30Anything special you want me to get for dinner?
12:32Oh, dinner, I completely forgot to tell you.
12:34I've invited Mr. Boyle to have dinner with us tonight.
12:37Who's Mr. Boyle?
12:38Oh, he's a big manufacturer, Harold.
12:40One of the biggest in the state.
12:41He's considering putting our firm on a retainer.
12:43Oh, well, I'll whip up something nifty for dinner so he'll be in a good mood.
12:47Thank you, Hazel.
12:48How about hot dogs? They always put me in a good mood.
12:52Mr. Boyle's newest product is called Scour No More.
12:55It cleans pots and pans like magic.
12:57I guess you owe another quarter, Mr. B.
13:00Boy, I'm going to be a millionaire.
13:02Now, wait a minute. Why should that cost me a quarter?
13:04Because you just told a real whopper.
13:07Maybe oil could do a better job on pots and pans than Scour No More.
13:11But Mr. Boyle told me that.
13:13Well, I don't care what he told you.
13:15I tried it.
13:16It even gave Hilda that works for the Snyders a rash.
13:19Can I have my quarter now, Dad?
13:21No, you can't.
13:23But you just told a real whopper.
13:25No, he didn't, Harold.
13:26Your father simply passed along some misinformation.
13:30Thank you, Dorothy.
13:31Well, I guess it was Mr. Boyle that did the lying.
13:34Will he have to give me a quarter?
13:36He will not.
13:37Now, listen to me.
13:38I don't want any of you to discuss his product tonight.
13:40Is that clear?
13:41Well, suppose he asks about it.
13:43Now, wait a minute.
13:44I think that we should suspend this nothing but the truth business for tonight.
13:48I'm sure you all understand that in business,
13:50there are certain things that sometimes aren't quite what you would like to have them be.
13:54And, you know...
13:55Yes, Dad. I understand.
13:57Good.
13:58It means it's all right to lie in business.
14:01I guess that's your answer, Mr. B.
14:04All right.
14:05But will you promise me to be polite?
14:07And if you can't say anything nice, just don't say anything at all.
14:10Okay.
14:11But I got a feeling there's going to be a silence around this house tonight you could hear for a mile.
14:30Pardon me, lady.
14:31You got a match?
14:32Well, if it ain't Bonnie, the funny mailman.
14:34What did Rosie say when you gave her my present?
14:36Did she like it?
14:37She says she never wants to speak to you again.
14:39And she didn't even open the package.
14:41Oh, boy.
14:42She must be mad.
14:43Because Rosie likes getting presents better than anybody I know.
14:46Well, just put it in there.
14:48Does this mean that our double date to go to the dance is off?
14:51Because Claude's got the tickets and everything.
14:54Oh, sure.
14:55I hope not.
14:56Me too.
14:57Because, you know, Claude doesn't have a car.
14:59And they probably wouldn't let him take the fire engine.
15:02I mean, not to go to the dance.
15:04I think you got that one figured out right, Bonnie.
15:12Oh, Hazel, the hors d'oeuvres look beautiful.
15:15Oh, so do you.
15:16Thank you.
15:17I smell good, too.
15:19Oh, yeah, that's the perfume I gave you last Christmas.
15:22I only use it on very special occasions.
15:24How's everything coming along out here?
15:26Fine, Mr. B.
15:27The roast is going to be nice and rare, just the way you like it.
15:29Mmm, my mouth is watering already.
15:31Don't Missy look pretty?
15:32Never prettier.
15:35What's the matter, George?
15:37Oh, nothing.
15:38You made a face about something.
15:40Oh, saying nothing is the same as telling a lie, Mr. B.
15:43I'll get my paint!
15:44No, no, Harold.
15:45Harold, come back here.
15:46All right, you asked for it.
15:48I'm not exactly crazy about the perfume you're wearing.
15:51George.
15:52Oh, that's all right, Missy.
15:53By Mr. B. telling the truth like that, I just learned something.
15:57What was that, Hazel?
15:58I'll know better than get that perfume for Missy again.
16:01Hazel, I'm sorry.
16:02I didn't mean it.
16:03You don't have to be sorry about telling the truth, Mr. B.
16:06I admire your sense of fair play.
16:08Teaching Harold to tell the truth is more important than hurting somebody's feelings.
16:13Would you mind taking these in the living room for me?
16:16Oh, of course not.
16:17They look delicious, Hazel.
16:18Oh, and look, Mr. B.
16:20I've got these raw vegetables for you.
16:23There's hardly a calorie in the whole bunch of them.
16:29I'm starving.
16:35Mr. Boyle may be a big manufacturer, but his manners don't impress me in the least.
16:40Now, Dorothy, he's just a little bit late.
16:42I don't call 45 minutes a little bit late, George.
16:46Well, I'm sure he has a very good reason for being late.
16:49He's probably been unavoidably detained.
16:51And my roast has been unavoidably ruined.
16:53There ain't a rare slice left in it.
16:55Then we'll just have to eat it well done.
16:57If the cavalry was this late, Sittin' Bull would have been president.
17:01Is that the truth?
17:02Son, that's neither true nor false.
17:04It's merely a speculation.
17:05Do I get anything for speculations?
17:08You certainly do not.
17:10Well, I speculate that if Mr. Boyle isn't here in 15 minutes, we go ahead without him.
17:15I don't think I can wait that long.
17:17My stomach's getting sore.
17:19Well, then you go out in the kitchen and eat some crackers.
17:21But don't eat too many or you'll spoil your dinner.
17:23Okay.
17:24As if it ain't already spoiled.
17:26Oh, there's the cavalry.
17:28Hazel, you get the roast out of the oven.
17:30I'll get the door.
17:31Are you Mr. Boyle?
17:33I am, young man.
17:34What's the idea of keeping me waiting?
17:36Oh, Mr. Boyle.
17:37Come in.
17:38Come in.
17:39Let me take your hat and coat.
17:40Thank you.
17:41This is my wife, Dorothy.
17:42How do you do?
17:43And Hazel, our major domo.
17:45Indeed.
17:46Yes, indeed.
17:47And our little son, Harold.
17:49Yes, we've already met.
17:51Say, I'm not late, am I?
17:53No, no, no.
17:54Not a bit.
17:55Not a bit.
17:57Well, maybe you are just a little bit late.
18:00But Mother said that...
18:01How about a drink, Mr. Boyle?
18:02I'd love one.
18:04I feel it's barbaric to put food on an empty stomach.
18:07But Mother said that...
18:08Speaking of food, what do you serve?
18:10Roast beef.
18:11Very well done.
18:12In that case, would you ask your girl to fix me an omelet?
18:15I detest well done beef.
18:17Hazel, an omelet for Mr. Boyle.
18:18Yes, sir.
18:19Would Mr. Boyle like a little crab meat in it?
18:22No.
18:23Thank you.
18:24Would you like a little crab meat in the living room?
18:31This hors d'oeuvre's soggy.
18:33It wasn't soggy an hour ago.
18:36Was I an hour late?
18:37Just about, Mr. Boyle.
18:39Well, these things can't be helped, I suppose.
18:42Stopped off at the club to play some handball.
18:45Excuse me.
18:46Yes, Hazel.
18:49Dinner is served.
18:51Thank you.
18:52I've consumed so many of these hors d'oeuvres, I probably won't be able to eat a thing.
19:00You go ahead, Mr. Boyle, before your omelet gets overdone.
19:03I mean, cold.
19:05Thank you.
19:06Dad, do you like your roast beef well done?
19:08Well, I...
19:12No, son, I prefer mine rare.
19:16Criminal how hard it is to get a good cook nowadays, isn't it?
19:19Hazel happens to be an excellent cook, Mr. Boyle.
19:22The only reason the meat's overdone was because you're...
19:24Son, you don't have to answer questions that haven't been asked.
19:28Just be quiet.
19:29Yes, sir.
19:30By the way, my new product, Scour No More, goes on the market next week.
19:33I've had free samples distributed.
19:35Did you get yours?
19:36Yes, we did.
19:37You know, it's really very interesting about that case coming before the Supreme Court.
19:41I firmly leave all legal details to you, Baxter.
19:43What did you think of my new product?
19:45Marvelous, isn't it?
19:46Well...
19:48Actually, I don't do the scouring around here, I...
19:52How do you feel about the election results, Mr. Boyle?
19:55Better.
19:56I didn't know that your maid used my new product.
19:58Did she like it?
19:59I'll step into the kitchen and ask her.
20:03Hazel, I want to ask you a question.
20:06Yes, sir?
20:07You've used my new product, Scour No More.
20:10Yes, sir.
20:11What do you think of it?
20:13Well, sir...
20:16Mr. Boyle, I think...
20:19Come now, speak up.
20:21Marvelous, isn't it?
20:22I think it's the best-designed bottle I ever saw.
20:25It's got a good grip on it, you know.
20:27And it's spill-proof.
20:30Yes, sir.
20:31No underestimating the value of packaging.
20:35And another thing, it's got such a nice, clean smell to it.
20:39Just a minute.
20:40I want to know what you think of the marvelous effectiveness of Scour No More.
20:43Wouldn't you like to go on to the next category, Mr. Boyle?
20:47I insist on an answer.
20:49All right.
20:51It's just no good.
20:52What do you mean by that?
20:54It don't do the job.
20:55Baby oil could do it better.
20:58It's the worst stuff I ever used.
21:00And the rest of the maids feel the same way about it.
21:04Baxter, if you're interested in getting my business, you'd better get rid of this woman.
21:08I've never been so insulted in my life.
21:10Well, getting rid of Hazel, Mr. Boyle, is simply out of the question.
21:13We wouldn't consider that for a moment.
21:15Because we love her.
21:17Then I can only assume that you're no longer interested in handling my legal work.
21:20Not at the cost of having you come in here and tell me how to run my home.
21:23We have nothing more to say to each other.
21:25I'll see myself out.
21:26Oh, but Mr. Boyle, I should think you'd be glad to have somebody tell you what's wrong with your product.
21:31Glad?
21:32Well, sure. Then you can fix it before you put it on the market.
21:35You know the way it is now.
21:36None of us maids would think of loading up our carts on scowl no more.
21:39It just stands to reason.
21:41I've heard all I want to hear.
21:42Good night.
21:44Oh, Mr. B, now I've done it again.
21:46Open my big mouth.
21:47I'll go after him.
21:48No, no, Hazel. Let him go.
21:50Mr. B, on account of me, you lost another client.
21:53One that I'm glad to be rid of.
22:06Boy, this is the greatest raspberry parfait I've ever tasted.
22:09Oh, thanks, Mr. B.
22:11Considering all you've gone through, I'm amazed you have enough appetite to eat it.
22:15Oh, come on, Hazel. Cheer up.
22:20Coming!
22:25Oh.
22:26Oh, hi, Mr. Boyle.
22:28What are you doing back here?
22:30Well, I came back to apologize.
22:33After I had time to think about what you said, I realized it makes a lot of sense.
22:36Oh.
22:37Well, I'm real glad to hear you say that.
22:40Oh, and by the way, there's something else wrong about your product I didn't have a chance to tell you.
22:45It gave one of the girls a rash, so I thought you ought to know about it in case you were sued or something.
22:50You want some dessert?
22:53I'd love some.
22:54All right, come on in.
22:56And I want you to know you've got one of the best brains I've run across in a long time.
23:00Oh, thanks, Mr. Boyle.
23:02I'll get you parfait with extra whipped cream.
23:06Baxter, you shouldn't have that magnificent woman working in your kitchen.
23:10Where should he have her working?
23:12In his law office, Hazel.
23:26Boy, I sure wish someone would tell a lie.
23:29Then I'd have enough money to buy that model airplane.
23:33Hazel!
23:34It's Rosie.
23:38Come on in.
23:40Hazel, I came over to apologize.
23:43I got angry because you told the truth.
23:45I should have known that only a real friend would do that.
23:48Well, I could have said it nicer and spared your feelings.
23:51Well, I'm not angry anymore, and I hope we're still best friends.
23:54Oh, sure we are.
23:56You know, you were right about that hat.
23:58It was funny looking.
24:00I took it back to the store and I exchanged it.
24:02You want to see the one I got?
24:03Yeah.
24:04Oh, this one is really gorgeous.
24:15Well, what do you think of it?
24:22I think it's the most beautiful hat I ever saw in my whole life.
24:26Oh, Hazel.
24:28I knew you'd like it.
24:59THE END
25:03THE END
25:27This has been a Screen Gems film production.
25:32ScreenGems.com