Watch Online Hazel 1961 - s2ep7
Transcript
00:00George! George! You told me not to let you oversleep.
00:08Yes?
00:10Good morning, Hazel.
00:11Good morning. What's holding up the works? I've been yelling breakfast is ready for almost 20 minutes.
00:16He worked until 3 o'clock this morning on some contracts for Mr. Griffin, and he made me promise not to let him oversleep.
00:21Well, he has a 9 o'clock appointment. He's dead to the world.
00:25Mr. B, wake up. The house is on fire.
00:31Guess who just jumped out the second story window?
00:36You see?
00:37Maybe we ought to let him sleep another half hour.
00:41By the way, the mail just came.
00:43There's a small brown envelope, you know, the kind they use at the Bureau of Internal Revenue.
00:47Maybe it's his tax refund. They owe him money.
00:50The mail just came.
00:51There's a small brown envelope, you know, the kind they use at the Bureau of Internal Revenue.
00:54Maybe it's his tax refund.
00:56They owe him $802.
01:13Well, this brown envelope was a telephone bill.
01:16No kidding, it is. I didn't look at the return address.
01:19Did anybody?
01:50Oh!
02:04Here you are, Mr. Griffin.
02:06You'll just glance over these. I think you'll see I've covered all the legal points.
02:09No, I haven't time to look over contracts today, George.
02:12I'll get around to it in a day or two.
02:14In a day or two?
02:15Yep.
02:16Mr. Griffin, you said this was an emergency.
02:18I've been up till three o'clock in the morning working on these things.
02:21I know, I know. It's nice to have a conscientious attorney like you, George.
02:26But right now, I've got other things on my mind.
02:29Tell me, what do you consider the luckiest day in your life?
02:36The luckiest day of my life?
02:38Well, I would say it was the day I married Dorothy.
02:41Exactly.
02:42Hazel claims it's the day she came to work for me, but I still say Dorothy.
02:45This is my lucky day.
02:47I'm going to propose to Mrs. Fowler.
02:50Well, congratulations.
02:52I know how interested you've been ever since you've met her.
02:55I'm on my way down to the jewelers now.
02:57I want to have the ring in my pocket when I pop the question.
03:00I've never met her. I've only seen her pictures in the society columns.
03:03Yes.
03:04But I do know you, Mr. Griffin, and I don't see how she could possibly refuse.
03:07She can't. Just what I said.
03:09This is my lucky day.
03:12Look what I got in the mail this morning.
03:15The Bureau of Internal Revenue?
03:17Tax refund.
03:18$777.03.
03:23They owe me $802, and I haven't received mine yet.
03:26Isn't it amazing?
03:27Amazing isn't exactly the word I had in mind.
03:30I mean, I filed my tax way back in January, and you didn't file yours until the 14th of April.
03:35Now, how come you received your refund before I did?
03:38I'm talking about the sevens.
03:41$777.
03:44Not only that, I received it on the seventh of the month.
03:47Wait a minute. This isn't the seventh.
03:49It was mailed on the seventh. See?
03:52That's four sevens.
03:54Mr. Griffin, I didn't know you were that superstitious.
03:58Who are you calling superstitious?
04:00I'm not superstitious.
04:02But sevens are different.
04:04They mean good luck.
04:07Well, I wish you all the luck in the world of Mrs. Fowler.
04:11But I still think my good wishes will make you luckier than any number of sevens on any check.
04:16Here, give me these contracts. I'll take them along and call you back later.
04:22Dorothy!
04:23Where's Mr. Griffin, George?
04:25He had to leave.
04:26Dorothy, do you want to know something?
04:28Do you know that Mr. Griffin has already received his tax refund?
04:31I filed my return back in January because I needed mine.
04:34But Mr. Griffin doesn't need his. He's loaded.
04:36But he files on the last day and gets his refund before I do.
04:39Oh, that ain't fair.
04:41Well, of course it isn't fair.
04:42Why don't you call him up and tell him how you feel?
04:44Do you know that I've got a good mind to do that?
04:46No, George, please don't.
04:47That's what the telephone's for, ain't it?
04:49George, don't get into a fight with the government.
04:52What's there to fight about?
04:53It says on the tax return, if you've got any questions to ask, call up the tax bureau.
04:57Well, Mr. B's got a question. Where's his refund?
05:00Exactly, and I'm going to call the Bureau of Internal Revenue right now.
05:03As a matter of fact, they should be just getting into the office.
05:05Sure, get them while they're fresh.
05:06George, please don't stir up any trouble.
05:09Hazel's absolutely right.
05:11Listen, I gotta hear.
05:15I'll catch it on the other phone.
05:23Thanks, Hazel, but I don't need any more prompting.
05:25Mr. B, if I hadn't gotten you all steamed up, you would have just let it all wet.
05:29I'll use the phone in the den.
05:31Mr. B, there's times when you just gotta grab the bull by the horns.
05:41Them Internal Revenue folks is people just like us.
05:44We put them in office, and if we don't like what they do, we just yank them out again.
05:50Oh, did you get some action?
05:52Yes, I got some action.
05:53I talked to Mr. Floyd.
05:55I'm to be at his office at 11 o'clock this morning.
05:57To pick up your check?
05:58To answer a lot of questions.
06:00They're investigating my entire tax return.
06:05Well, you can't win them all.
06:15Mr. Baxter, this department has several questions we'd like to ask you about your tax return.
06:20All right, Mr. Floyd, if you'd like to tell me what they are, I'll be very happy to answer them.
06:24Well, don't count on being too happy.
06:26Mr. Baxter, you've deducted a portion of your house as a business office.
06:29Yes, sir. To study.
06:31Why?
06:32Because I do a great deal of my work there.
06:34Oh, now, really, Mr. Baxter.
06:36There's hardly a man in this country who doesn't take work home from time to time,
06:39but they don't try to call their house an office.
06:41I, myself, I reach some of my most important decisions while sitting in my bathtub.
06:46But I don't try to take my bathroom off my income tax.
06:51Mr. Floyd, I'm not trying to take my bathroom off my income tax.
06:55Mr. Floyd, the fact is, I have a client, Mr. Griffin.
06:59President of the Griffin Industries. Perhaps you know him.
07:02Yes, he's one of our very good customers.
07:04I'm his attorney. I handle all his contracts.
07:07But he doesn't like to do business in an office, either his or mine.
07:10He prefers to come to my house.
07:12Now, on many occasions, we've worked late, he's had to spend the night.
07:16But I haven't claimed any deduction for the guest room, only the study.
07:20Well, that sounds like a legitimate business deduction.
07:24I suppose you're prepared to prove it?
07:26I can't think of any better way than to have Mr. Griffin tell you himself.
07:29If I call him now, will you accept his word?
07:32I can't see any objection to that.
07:33Good. We can settle this in a few minutes.
07:35Just dial 9, then your number.
07:39Excuse me.
07:44Hello? Oh, George, I was just going to call you.
07:47He was just going to call me.
07:48Maybe I better speak to him.
07:50George, I'm giving a cocktail party this afternoon, and I want you and Dorothy to come.
07:55Well, thank you very much, Mr. Griffin. We'd love to.
07:58But right now, I'm down here at the tax...
08:00She's here. I invited her to lunch.
08:03But I just haven't been able to get up the nerve to propose.
08:07The ring's in my pocket, but I haven't been able to get up the nerve.
08:10He's trying to get up enough nerve to ask a woman to marry him.
08:13We can deduct her on next year's return. Let me speak to him.
08:15Mr. Griffin, I'm down here at the tax bureau right now...
08:18She's standing out there in the garden. Isn't she beautiful?
08:23Mr. Griffin, I can't very well see her over the phone.
08:30Hello? Hello? Mr. Griffin?
08:38Mr. Baxter, I'd like to talk to him.
08:40So would I.
08:42Mr. Griffin? Hello? Hello?
08:46Hello? Hello? Hello? Mr. Griffin?
08:50Sorry, George. She dropped a rose.
08:54Mr. Griffin, I'm down here at the tax bureau, and I...
08:57I want all my friends here at the cocktail party.
09:00I know I'll have the nerve to speak up once I have all my friends around to give me confidence.
09:05See you then. Bye.
09:06No, no, Mr. Griffin! Hello? Hello?
09:12He wants us to come to a cocktail party.
09:14Us? You and me?
09:15No, no, no. He wants me to bring Dorothy, my wife.
09:19Mr. Baxter, perhaps we better begin at the beginning.
09:22Now, this department has several questions it wants to ask you about your tax return.
09:26Now, I can prove that I used my study as a business office. I have the records.
09:30I'll call my wife and have her bring them right down.
09:36Thank you, Hazel, for finally getting here.
09:38Well, like I said over the phone, Missy was at the beauty parlor.
09:41And when I knew how important it was,
09:43I just gathered up everything from your desk I thought you'd need.
09:47You'll see that I've kept a thorough record on the use of my study as a business office.
09:52This drawing of a choo-choo train.
09:54Is this one of your doodles during business hours, Mr. Baxter?
09:57Oh, no. That's little Harold.
09:59He does his homework in the study, and if I don't stand over him,
10:03sometimes he ends up drawing pictures.
10:06Oh, then the other members of your family do use the study, Mr. Baxter.
10:09I wasn't aware that my son did his homework there.
10:12But besides that, I'm the only one who uses it.
10:15Do you also cook in the study, Mr. Baxter?
10:18Oh, certainly not. Why?
10:20Here's a recipe for lemon meringue pie.
10:22Oh, that's mine. I don't want to lose this.
10:25Well, sometimes I use Mr. B's typewriter to catch up on my recipes.
10:29Okay, Mr. Floyd, you win.
10:31Just forget about the study as a deduction for me. I'll pay the full tax.
10:35I don't think that'll be necessary, Mr. Baxter.
10:38I'd say that these are the normal hazards of family life.
10:41And your records are exceptionally complete, so we'll allow the full deduction.
10:45You're going to give him his tax refund?
10:47That's right, ma'am.
10:48In full, $802.
10:50If you don't mind waiting a moment, I'll have the check processed.
10:52Well, as a matter of fact, I have that cocktail party to go to, Mr. Griffiths.
10:56So if it's all right with you, I'll have Hazel pick it up.
10:58Certainly.
10:59Well, that's all right, Mr. B. You go right ahead.
11:01I won't be a minute. Excuse me.
11:02Hazel, I want you to have that. That's for you.
11:05Twenty bucks?
11:06That's right. I want you to go out and buy a hat or something.
11:08You realize you're responsible for this?
11:10Well, if I hadn't called in this morning, no telling how long my check would have been tied up.
11:14Oh, gee, thanks, Mr. B.
11:16Thanks. Hazel, thank you.
11:18Well, I'll have to hurry.
11:20I haven't told Dorothy about the party yet, and she'll need time to get dressed.
11:23That is, if she ever gets out of that beauty shop.
11:25Well, if I'm not there before you leave, enjoy yourself.
11:28You just wait here long enough to pick up my check.
11:31Okay, Mr. B.
11:36I'll be here in a moment.
11:37I've allowed deduction of the study as a business office,
11:40and ten percent of your salary as a business expense.
11:43Ten percent?
11:45Yes. Mr. Baxter says that you serve coffee to his clients,
11:48and sometimes you also serve lunch and dinner.
11:50You mean he only deducted ten percent of my salary?
11:53I'm worth at least fifty percent if I'm worth a dime.
11:56Well, really, miss, I...
11:57Well, Mr. Griffin alone takes up half of my time.
12:00Well, Mr. Baxter ought to know, and he only claimed ten percent.
12:03Mr. Griffin's at our house all the time,
12:05and he eats huge breakfasts and dinners and lunches,
12:08and in-between snacks, too.
12:10And then sometimes he spends the night up in the guest room,
12:13and he ties all the curtains up and nuts just to let the air in.
12:16So I gotta wash them and iron them.
12:18Well, Mr. Baxter only deducted ten percent.
12:21And what about the other clients?
12:23I feed them a terrific dinner and get them in a good mood?
12:26Well, if you was to have an investigation,
12:28you'd find out I was worth seventy-five percent at least.
12:30You mean he's cheating himself?
12:32Probably.
12:33Maybe you're right.
12:37Miss Miller, hold up that check for Mr. Baxter
12:40and ask Mr. Perkins to step in here.
12:42Wait a minute. Mr. B's expecting me to bring that check home with me.
12:45Miss, we don't want a single penny that doesn't belong to us.
12:48Now, a complete audit may possibly prove to be entirely in his favor.
12:52You wanted to see me, sir?
12:53Yes, Perkins.
12:54I'm ordering a complete audit on this Baxter return.
12:57How long would a complete audit take?
12:59It depends.
13:00You suspect something wrong?
13:01I'm sorry, and that's what makes this such a challenge, Perkins.
13:03Your department has seven new accountants joining the Bureau, correct?
13:06Yes, sir.
13:07Well, this Baxter return will make an excellent training course for them as examiners. Excellent.
13:11Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I ain't worth more than ten percent.
13:14Why don't you just let me take the check and go home?
13:16No, no, no. There's a principal involved here,
13:18and you've put your finger right on it.
13:20I have?
13:21Yes.
13:22Just how much is a maid worth to a businessman?
13:25Oh, this will be excellent training for these new accountants, Perkins.
13:28Yes, sir.
13:29They can go out and compete among themselves to find any errors in this return.
13:32You know, contest facts, challenge estimates.
13:34You'll have to go to his home and examine every record minutely.
13:37Wonderful field training. Simply splendid.
13:39They'll learn how to get evidence that'll stand up in court.
13:42Excuse me, is there an employment agency in this building?
13:45Why?
13:46I have a feeling I won't be working for Mr. Baxter very long.
13:51Darling, it's time to go.
13:52How do I look?
13:54Stunning.
13:55You know, you look so lovely, we ought to stay home.
13:57Oh, George, I wish you'd told me about this cocktail party sooner.
14:01Mother, where's Hazel?
14:03Well, she's down at the tax office picking up my check.
14:05Gee, that's odd. She ought to be here by now.
14:07Oh, maybe she stopped at the market.
14:09Or the ice cream store to bring me something.
14:11No, son, I gave her $20 and told her to buy a new hat.
14:14Maybe that's where she is.
14:16Shall we go?
14:17But what about Harold? We can't leave him here alone without Hazel.
14:20Well, maybe Rosie can come over and stay with him.
14:22Why don't you give her a ring?
14:23All right.
14:27Let's go.
14:46Here's Hazel.
14:47Oh, Benedict Donald in a fur coat.
14:49We were trying to guess where you were.
14:51If you know a good place, you just tell me and I'll go.
14:55Hazel, where's my check?
14:57Oh, gosh, everybody's smiling. My, we're a happy family.
15:00Oh, we certainly are, Hazel.
15:02And if one of us pulls a boner, we don't hold it against each other, do we?
15:06Never.
15:07Forgive and forget. That's our motto, ain't it?
15:10Just a minute, Hazel. What are you driving at? Where's my check?
15:13Dad, who are all those men?
15:16What men?
15:18In front of the house, getting out of cars.
15:21Well, I don't know. There must be at least ten of them.
15:24And those cars, well, they're government cars.
15:27They've got the government seal right on the door.
15:29Are they G-men?
15:30Wait a minute.
15:32I think I've seen those men before.
15:34Certainly.
15:36I saw them today at the tax bureau.
15:38Oh, well, if we're going to have company, I better go get the coffee on.
15:44Hazel, I...
15:47Good afternoon, Mr. Baxter.
15:49I guess you didn't expect to see me again so soon.
15:51Well, nothing personal. I was hoping I'd never see you again.
15:54Oh, darling, this is Mr. Floyd from the Internal Revenue.
15:57How do you do?
15:58How do you do? Come on in, Perkins.
16:00This is my assistant, Mr. Baxter, Mr. Perkins.
16:03How do you do? My wife.
16:04How do you do?
16:05My, you have a beautifully furnished home, Mrs. Baxter.
16:08Oh, thank you.
16:09I do hope you've got receipts for everything.
16:11May I ask what this is all about?
16:13Didn't she tell you?
16:14Who?
16:15Your maid.
16:16Hazel? Tell me what?
16:18We're doing a complete audit on your tax return, Mr. Baxter.
16:21I thought we had all that settled in your office.
16:24Yes, but after you left, your maid told us what a tremendous help she is to you and your business,
16:29and she didn't feel that you'd deducted nearly enough for her.
16:31She felt you were cheating yourself.
16:33If I want to cheat myself, that is my business.
16:36Mr. Baxter, we're looking out for your own personal interests.
16:39Because of the difficulty of proving the value of a household maid to a business venture,
16:43Mr. Floyd felt that this would be an excellent field trial for a new group of examiners.
16:47That's right.
16:48Come on in, gentlemen.
16:49Mr. Baxter, Mr. Ross.
16:50How do you do? My wife.
16:51How do you do?
16:53Mr. Baxter, Mr. Handel.
16:54How do you do?
16:55How do you do?
16:56My wife.
16:57How do you do?
16:58Mr. Baxter, Mr. Duncan.
17:00How do you do?
17:01Mr. Baxter, Mr. Reiner.
17:02How do you do?
17:03Mr. Baxter, Mr. Noonan.
17:04How do you do?
17:05Mr. Baxter, Mr. Williams.
17:06How do you do?
17:07Mr. Baxter, Mr. Cornell.
17:08How do you do?
17:09Mr. Baxter, Mr...
17:10You're not with our office.
17:11No, I was walking down the street and I saw the crowd.
17:14What's going on here?
17:16Hazel!
17:26George.
17:27George.
17:29Are you all right?
17:31I'm okay now.
17:32What happened?
17:33I got so mad, my nose went up.
17:35Oh, George.
17:36I'm all right now.
17:37Where's Hazel?
17:38I finally persuaded her to come out of her room.
17:40Now, why did I come up here?
17:42There's been so much confusion.
17:44That tax man wants to see you down in the den.
17:47Which tax man?
17:48There are about 10 million down there.
17:50The first one that came into the house.
17:52Oh, he's the ringleader, the dangerous one.
17:54Look, darling, we're not going to be able to make the cocktail party.
17:57Oh, well, what's one cocktail party, more or less?
18:00Well, this isn't just a cocktail party.
18:02Mr. Griffith asked us to be there, and I think we ought to be there.
18:05Oh, well, I'll just have to tell him we can't make it.
18:08I'll call in from the study.
18:12Would you like some cake?
18:13No, thank you.
18:15Would you like some nice devil food cake?
18:18No, thank you.
18:19What about you?
18:21Dorothy, do you see what I see?
18:24Hazel is serving them coffee, sandwiches and cake.
18:27She's trying to butter them up, George.
18:29You know, make a good impression.
18:30But they simply won't accept anything.
18:32Serving my coffee, my sandwiches, my cake
18:34to those men who are trying to put a rope around my neck?
18:36Don't worry, darling, they won't take anything.
18:38Uh-huh, so I'll be up to my ears in sandwiches for the next 10 years.
18:41Be careful, George. Remember your nose.
18:43All right.
18:44Now, look, darling, I'm tied up in the den.
18:46Do me a favor.
18:47Call Mr. Griffith and tell him we can't make it.
18:49He won't take no for an answer if I call in.
18:51Of course, darling.
18:52Mrs. Baxter?
18:53Yes?
18:54There's a question of how much the telephone is used for business.
18:57May I have your phone bills for the last two years?
18:59Well, oh, well, they'd be in the...
19:01Or would they? No, they're probably not in the...
19:03Well, maybe they are.
19:05Hazel?
19:06Yes, missy?
19:07George and I aren't going to be able to get to that cocktail party.
19:10Would you call Mr. Griffith and explain everything?
19:13Oh, sure. Just leave everything to me.
19:15I don't know. What was I looking for?
19:17The phone bills.
19:19Uh, Mrs. Fowler?
19:22Yes?
19:23May I call you Grace?
19:25Oh, if you like.
19:27We've become quite good friends.
19:29Well, what I had in mind was something a little more binding.
19:34Oh, I see.
19:35I see.
19:36I see.
19:37I see.
19:38I see.
19:39I see.
19:40I see.
19:41I see.
19:42I see.
19:43I see.
19:44I see.
19:45I see.
19:46I see.
19:47Something a little more binding than friendship.
19:50I don't understand.
19:52Something like this.
19:58A ring?
20:00Oh, don't say no.
20:02Please don't.
20:03I'll give you a few moments to think it over.
20:06But I...
20:07Don't say anything.
20:09Just think it over.
20:11I won't try to influence you.
20:13I'll leave you alone.
20:15Just think it over.
20:17And say yes.
20:31Hello.
20:33Yes, this is the Griffin residence.
20:35Yes, Mr. Griffin is here, but...
20:39I don't think he's here at the moment.
20:41May I take the message?
20:43Hazel?
20:45Hazel who?
20:46Hazel Burke.
20:47I'm the maid for the Baxter's.
20:50Oh, I see.
20:51Yes, I understand Mr. and Mrs. Baxter won't be able to make it.
20:54Well, you see, these tax men moved in on us.
20:57And in a way, it's Mr. Griffin's fault.
21:00Well, yeah, because it's on account of he don't like to do his work in an office.
21:04He always comes to the house.
21:06I don't think I follow you.
21:08Well, the tax men won't believe it.
21:10But I'm really the reason that Mr. Griffin comes here.
21:13You see, he's crazy about my cooking.
21:16He's so crazy about it that he asked me to marry him last year.
21:20You are the Baxter's maid.
21:22And Mr. Griffin asked you to marry...
21:24I had to turn him down on account I got my hands full with the Baxter's.
21:29But if he just tell these tax men...
21:32I'll give him the message.
21:41Hello?
21:42Oh, hello, Mr. Griffin. I...
21:45Where?
21:47Hazel told her what?
21:50And I'm not your attorney anymore.
21:52Mr. Griffin, I...
21:54Hello? Hello?
21:55Well, I took care of that phone call for you.
21:58Hazel, I want...
22:00Oh, doggone it. There goes my nose again.
22:02George!
22:08Hi, Mr. Griffin.
22:09What are you doing here?
22:10I just came over to give you a chance to return the swell favor I done for you.
22:14Favor?
22:15If it hadn't been for me, that snobby Mrs. Fowler would have said yes.
22:18And then where would you be?
22:20Honeymooning in the Bahamas.
22:21Oh, sure.
22:22Regretting a mistake, the worst mistake you ever made in your life.
22:26But I ain't asking no thanks.
22:28All I want you to do for me...
22:30Hazel, I don't understand why you think you did me a favor.
22:33Oh, come on now. You sit down and relax.
22:38Take the load off your feet.
22:40There you are, and I'll explain it to you.
22:43You know, you're a simple creature, Mr. Griffin,
22:46who likes his comforts, and you almost got yourself wedlocked to an A-number-one hoity-toity.
22:51Now, that ain't kind of a combination that spells bingo, is it?
22:56Lean forward.
22:58Ain't that better?
23:00Yes, thank you.
23:02There you are.
23:03There you are.
23:05Has that laundry been leaving the starch out of your collars the way I told them to?
23:09No, they haven't.
23:10Oh, well, then you just bring them over to the house.
23:14We'll do them for you.
23:16Well, thank you.
23:18Boy, if you'd married your late intended, you'd have a sore neck all the time.
23:23I would?
23:24Sure, she'd have you putting on stiff shirts and tuxedos and going to formal dinners.
23:29I'd hate to think of what them pinchy patent leather shoes would do to your feet.
23:34Hazel, you remind me of my mother.
23:38Oh, thanks, Mr. Griffin.
23:40What was that favor you wanted?
23:45Oh, well, now that you mention it,
23:48I'd like you to call the tax bureau and tell the men there why Mr. B uses his study as an office.
23:56Anytime, Hazel.
24:00Okay.
24:12Can I look at it again, Dad?
24:14Of course you can, son.
24:16Nine hundred and forty dollars.
24:18I never saw so much money before.
24:20It's over a hundred dollars more than I asked for.
24:22And you got Mr. Griffin to thank for it.
24:24Oh, no, you can thank Hazel for it.
24:27They agreed to a bigger refund on her salary when I told them the real reason I have you as my lawyer.
24:33Oh? And what is the real reason?
24:35Hazel's cooking.
24:57This has been a Screen Gems production.
25:27Screen Gems. Film production.