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00:00Oh, boy, this is some layout. There we have Jack.
00:06Hi, Mr. B.
00:07Hello, Hazel. Mr. Griffin?
00:09Oh, hello, Baxter.
00:10Sorry I'm delayed. I know you wanted to discuss that tax matter.
00:13Oh, don't bother me with tax matters now, Baxter. Hazel's been telling my fortunes.
00:18Oh, I'm almost through. Now, where was I?
00:20You were telling me how wonderful I am.
00:22Sure, look. There's the ace of hearts. That means love.
00:25Yeah.
00:26That means that everybody that works for you is just crazy about you.
00:29Well, I suppose they are, but I try to deserve it.
00:33And here is the ten of hearts.
00:35Yeah.
00:36Boy, you're just busting out all over with hearts.
00:38That means in ten days something really wonderful is going to happen to you.
00:42What's it going to be?
00:43Well, I don't know, but why don't you come around tomorrow and I'll tell your fortune and we'll see what happens.
00:48That'll be two dollars, please.
00:50Well, believe me, it was worth it.
00:52Hazel, can I see you in the next room for a few moments, please?
00:56Oh, sure, Mr. B.
00:57Excuse us.
01:00Hazel.
01:03Hazel, what do you think you're doing?
01:05Now, you know you don't know anything about telling fortunes.
01:07Oh, sure. Mr. Griffin knows it, too.
01:10But, boy, when you're as lonely as he is, it's worth two dollars to have somebody concentrate on you for half an hour.
01:16Hazel, that's against our law to tell fortunes for money.
01:19Well, Mr. B., for that two dollars, I'd tell him a lot of nice things about himself.
01:23If he was to go to his psychiatrist, he'd tell him what was wrong with him and charge him twenty-five dollars.
01:28I figure he's twenty-three dollars ahead.
01:58Hazel!
02:17I've got it!
02:21There.
02:22A Baxter residence?
02:23Yeah.
02:24Telegram.
02:25It's a telegram.
02:26Thanks.
02:39It ain't for you, Mr. B.
02:40Well, who else around here gets telegrams?
02:42It's for me.
02:43Uh-oh.
02:44Oh, what do you mean, uh-oh?
02:45Probably that black sheep cousin of hers wiring for money again.
02:48Walter never wired me for money.
02:50No, you're right. I apologize. He always calls collect.
02:53Hazel, why don't you open it?
02:55I'm trying to prepare myself. I was just trying to remember who'd been sick.
02:59It's old-fashioned to expect bad news from a telegram.
03:09Holy smoke!
03:10Well, what is it?
03:11Jesus!
03:12Well, who's it from, Hazel?
03:13Well, how do you like that?
03:15Like what?
03:16Hazel, the coffee's boiling over on the stove!
03:19Oh, I forgot!
03:21Pizza!
03:26Holy smoke!
03:28It doesn't make sense.
03:29What doesn't make sense?
03:30It just doesn't make sense.
03:32Let me see, George.
03:33No, I don't think I should. It'll take the curl right out of your hair.
03:35Oh, George, let me see.
03:37It's from American Elegance Magazine.
03:39They're running a series of articles on the maids of prominent families.
03:42They want to send a society reporter and a photographer next Tuesday to interview Hazel.
03:47They've named her maid of the month.
03:49Hazel, maid of the month for May.
03:52It just doesn't make sense.
03:54George, don't say it doesn't make sense, Hazel.
03:56Dorothy, Dorothy, American Elegance is a fashionable fashion magazine.
04:00Now, they're only interested in famous people and socialites.
04:03Now, the George Baxters are neither famous nor socialites.
04:06Well, George, that's terrific!
04:08Hazel has put us in society.
04:11Holy smoke, I just can't believe it!
04:13What's the matter?
04:14Harold, do you know who I am?
04:16Don't you?
04:17Oh, sure, but I mean, do you know who I'm going to be?
04:20Aren't you going to be Hazel anymore?
04:22Oh, yeah. Yeah.
04:24But do you know who... Have you heard of the American Elegance Magazine?
04:28No.
04:29Well, it's just about the swankiest magazine in this country.
04:32And every month, they write an article about the maid of some prominent family.
04:37And this month, I've been picked maid of the month for May.
04:41Oh.
04:42Ain't that wonderful? Because the maids they pick are real outstanding women.
04:46Mm.
04:47Ain't you surprised that they pick me?
04:50No. Everybody knows you're outstanding.
04:53Oh. Thanks, boy. That's real sweet of you.
04:57It's true. I heard the men at the bowling alley say so.
05:00They said that? They really called me that?
05:03I think they called you outstanding.
05:06Maybe they said you stuck out.
05:08What do you mean? Stuck out where?
05:11I remember they said you always stick your neck out.
05:15Oh.
05:18Now, we're not that prominent, and Hazel isn't that outstanding.
05:21They wouldn't send her a telegram unless...
05:23Unless there's been some kind of error.
05:25Now, if there has been, I don't want her to build up her hopes and get hurt.
05:28Well, I don't know what you can do about it, George.
05:31Well, the magazine offices are in town.
05:33I'll call the editor or publisher and find out.
05:36I'd like to speak to Mr. Anderson, please.
05:39This is George Baxter calling.
05:41Well, here's the coffee. Where's Mr. B?
05:43Oh, just put it on the coffee table, Hazel.
05:45He's in the den. I don't know how long you'll be.
05:47Ten minutes ago, he had to have it right away.
05:50Well, he's calling American Elegance magazine, Hazel.
05:53Now, don't misunderstand.
05:54Misunderstand what?
05:56Well, George feels there might be some mistake in their naming you maid of the month.
06:03Mistake?
06:04Well, she received a telegram a few moments ago, Mr. Anderson.
06:08No, Mr. Baxter. There's been no error.
06:10We've selected your maid as maid of the month for May.
06:14Well, I still feel there's some mistake.
06:16Our maid's name is Hazel Burke.
06:18But I can't understand why you consider her important enough for your magazine.
06:22Well, perhaps you have the wrong Baxter's and the wrong Burke.
06:26Well, it's your magazine. I guess you people know what you're doing.
06:31Goodbye.
06:41Well, as you heard, that was your friend, George Baxter.
06:44Henry, I can't tell you how much I appreciate this favor.
06:47I'm the one who's grateful to you, Mr. Griffin.
06:50Five years ago, American Elegance magazine was hanging on the ropes.
06:55Without your financial assistance, well, I'd have gone under.
07:00Well, you paid it all back.
07:03Now, getting back to Hazel, she's been a real friend to me.
07:07And I want her to have an honor like this.
07:10But I don't want her to know you did it as a favor to me.
07:13I want her to feel like the whole world is honoring her for being the wonderful woman she is.
07:19Don't worry. Your name won't be mentioned.
07:22Ask Miss Sharp to come in.
07:24She's our best society reporter.
07:27Really, Mr. Anderson, you can't be serious.
07:30Yes, Miss Sharp. Hazel Burke is our maid of the month for May.
07:35But couldn't you assign somebody else to interview her?
07:37I consider you the best qualified.
07:40But Tuesday is the day of the Ashton reception.
07:43I know, but Tuesday's the only day I can spare a good photographer for Miss Burke.
07:47Mrs. Ashton is entertaining a number of European socialites.
07:51And I've spent a great deal of time cultivating Mrs. Ashton.
07:54She practically regards me as one of the family.
07:57Believe me, this is going to be one of the most important social events of the year.
08:03Our magazine should be represented, and I feel that I am...
08:06Maybe somebody else could interview Hazel.
08:09I've already assigned Miss Sharp.
08:12I really don't understand what this Hazel Burke has done to entitle her to an article in our magazine.
08:18Well, you've never tasted her cooking.
08:21Here.
08:23This is her picture.
08:25She looks after me when I'm sick.
08:28She tells a lot of wonderful lies when she tells my fortune.
08:32And she knows just where to rub my back when my spine gets out of whack.
08:37What has she done that is the least bit outstanding?
08:40Miss Sharp, you're a very clever young woman.
08:43Receptions such as the Ashton affair can be handled by someone less talented.
08:48And I'm sure that once you've met Miss Burke,
08:51you'll enjoy exploring all the fine qualities in her which will delight our readers.
08:56Now then, shall we have lunch, Mr. Griffin?
08:59Fine, fine.
09:03Hazel Burke.
09:12Uh, more roast, Mr. Griffin?
09:15Uh, no thanks.
09:17You usually have two helpings.
09:19Uh, not tonight, thanks.
09:20Well, how about some more potatoes?
09:22Uh, no thanks.
09:25Dinner didn't turn out very well tonight, did it?
09:28What?
09:29I agree with you, Mr. Griffin. There was too much salt.
09:32Well, she's just like everybody else, George.
09:34When she's upset, it affects her work.
09:36Everybody's like that.
09:38Well, now, when I get upset, I don't empty the salt box on the jury.
09:41Well, what's she upset about?
09:43I thought she'd be happy being named Maid of the Month.
09:46As usual, it was my fault. I insulted her.
09:49You did what?
09:50George called the American Elegance magazine to see if they'd made a mistake.
09:55It just doesn't make sense.
09:57George, if you say that one more time...
10:00Well, I might as well face the realities of the modern servant situation.
10:04If you'll pardon me, I'll crawl in there on my hands and knees and beg her forgiveness.
10:08Darling, just be tactful.
10:11Oh, don't worry. I will.
10:13I'll pretend I'm addressing the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court.
10:17I just don't consider myself sufficiently prominent socially
10:20to have my household reported in American Elegance magazine.
10:23Oh, I'd put you up against anybody they ever had in that magazine.
10:26Well, thank you, Hazel, but I'm not exactly a candidate for Maid of the Month.
10:29What you do is just as important as anybody else,
10:32only you just don't like to have your picture taken while you're doing it.
10:35That's right, I don't.
10:36But I do.
10:37Oh, I know you do, Hazel.
10:38And believe me, when the magazine comes out, I'll buy ten copies.
10:41No, you don't have to do that, Mr. B.
10:43But I want to.
10:44No, I already told the drugstore to save me 30 copies.
10:47Oh, and that brings up a question.
10:49I got something in my room I want to show you.
10:52They'll be taking pictures of my room.
10:54And look, these curtains is all sharp.
10:57Oh, yes, they are pretty bad, aren't they?
10:59Yeah, but if I get new curtains, then the drapes are going to look shabby.
11:04I got to probably get new drapes.
11:06Well, Hazel, you go right ahead and get them.
11:08I got my heart set on yellow drapes.
11:10Oh, yellow would be beautiful.
11:12The only thing is, yellow won't go with this rug.
11:15I saw a rug advertised in the paper.
11:18Wait a minute now.
11:19Why don't you set your heart on a color that will go with the rug?
11:22Oh, how could I do that, Mr. B.?
11:24A woman can't change what she's got her heart set on.
11:29Oh.
11:30The only thing is, that new rug would be thicker than this rug.
11:34I wouldn't be able to move my bed back and forth.
11:37Now, wait a minute.
11:38Why would you want to move it back and forth?
11:40It's a bed, not a baby buggy.
11:41But I got to clean under it.
11:43You sleep on top of the bed, not under it.
11:45Oh, yes, and that reminds me.
11:47I've been sleeping on two old mattresses.
11:49And one of them should be a box spring, Mr. B.
11:52Hold it, Hazel.
11:53Those old window curtains are looking prettier every minute.
11:57Now, George, Hazel is absolutely right.
12:00Darling, if our house is going to be an American elegance magazine,
12:03it should look elegant.
12:05And this chair, George, is getting kind of old.
12:08It hasn't been getting old as fast as I have.
12:10Well, we've had it for five years.
12:12Mm-hmm, a real Methuselah.
12:14Would you be able to roll the bed over it?
12:16Roll the bed over the chair?
12:17I'm talking about the new rug.
12:18What new rug?
12:19A drapery wouldn't go with a new chair,
12:21but if you got a new rug to go with a drapery,
12:23would you be able to roll the bed over it?
12:25Mr. Griffin, do you know what he's talking about?
12:27Hazel, why don't you tell my fortune?
12:29Tell me it's time to go home.
12:31If there's any room in the house that needs a new rug,
12:33it's Harold's room.
12:34Harold's not made of the month.
12:35Harold's rug is very worn, George.
12:38But if you got a new one for this room,
12:40then you could cut this one down and put it in Harold's room.
12:43Oh, Hazel, that's a good idea.
12:45Let's go up and take a look.
12:47You know, some cunning strategist on that magazine
12:49is trying to maneuver me into the poorhouse.
12:51Oh, if I could just find out who suggested Hazel.
12:54What would you do?
12:56I'd make a voodoo doll and I'd stick pins in it.
13:03Come on into the living room, Miss Sharp.
13:05Oh, I'd like you to meet my husband, Mr. Baxter.
13:08Hello, Miss Sharp.
13:09How do you do?
13:10We're very happy to have you here to interview Hazel.
13:12Puzzled, but happy.
13:14I understand that you're an attorney, Mr. Baxter.
13:16Yes, that's right.
13:18He's a partner in the firm of Butterworth, Hatch, Knoll, and Baxter.
13:21And you're an interior decorator, aren't you, Mrs. Baxter?
13:24Yes, I am.
13:26Well, our magazine has a sister publication
13:28that's devoted to fine interiors,
13:30but somehow I never noticed your name.
13:33Well, uh...
13:34Oh, you are a member of the American Institute of Interior Decorators.
13:38Well, no.
13:39You see, it's really a hobby.
13:41Oh, a hobby, of course.
13:44You did this room?
13:45Oh, yes.
13:46Do you like it?
13:48Well, it's you, my dear.
13:50It's you.
13:54Where's Hazel?
13:55Oh, she's in the kitchen with the photographers.
13:58Boy, this is probably the most important day in my life.
14:01It is?
14:02Oh, sure.
14:03And don't think that the Sunshine Girls ain't green with envy.
14:06The Sunshine Girls?
14:07Oh, that's the club I belong to.
14:09You see, we're all cooks or maids or housekeepers.
14:12Do you want her in a chair, Jack?
14:14Oh, yes, right over there by the stove.
14:16All right.
14:17And you know, I'm kind of full of ego.
14:19I mean, I like to brag a little.
14:21And so the Sunshine Girls never miss a chance to take me down a notch.
14:24But since I've been picked as maid of the month, boy,
14:27they can't even tuck me with a ten-foot pole.
14:30I'm a celebrity.
14:32All right, now just lean back and look contemplative.
14:35Okay.
14:36Look what?
14:38Just lean back.
14:42All right.
14:43Would you mind crossing your legs?
14:44Oh, no, no.
14:45No cheesecake.
14:50Okay, now smile.
14:54No, that's not necessary.
14:55Not from ear to ear.
14:56Just a faint smile.
14:58Oh, I'll be the Mona Lisa all over again.
15:03That's it.
15:04Good.
15:05Very good.
15:06Well, that does it, Miss Burke.
15:08Thank you very much.
15:09Oh, listen, as long as you boys are here,
15:11would you mind taking a look at my camera?
15:14My nephew sent it to me from Japan.
15:17He's there in the Navy.
15:18And there's something wrong with the shutter.
15:20It just don't work.
15:21As a matter of fact, it just, it don't work at all.
15:24Well, you see, we're like plumbers, Miss Burke.
15:26We forgot our tools.
15:27Oh, we got a garage full of tools.
15:30If you could just get the shutter working, you know?
15:37Maybe it's that little thingamajig right in there, huh?
15:39Oh, stop giving me advice and hand me that butcher knife.
15:47Boy, like I was telling your two friends out in the kitchen,
15:49this is probably the most important day in my life.
15:52They are not my friends.
15:53They are just commercial photographers.
15:56Well, now, Miss Burke,
15:57suppose you tell me about yourself.
15:59Well, what do you want to know?
16:01Something, anything that would be of interest to our readers.
16:04Well, I thought you'd know what was interesting.
16:06You're the magazine that picked me for the maid of the month.
16:10What in your life are you most proud of?
16:12Oh, that's easy, little Harold here.
16:15Oh, no, no, no.
16:16I mean in your life.
16:17Oh, he is my life.
16:19Him and Missy and Mr. B.
16:21You know, I never got married.
16:23Possibly that is why you were called Miss Burke.
16:26Oh, yeah.
16:28Well, you know, not being married
16:30and not having any kids of my own.
16:32And that is what you are most proud of?
16:34Not being married and not having any children?
16:37Oh, no, of course not.
16:39Well, let's put it another way.
16:42What have you accomplished in your life besides domestic service?
16:47What have I accomplished?
16:49You said, what have I accomplished?
16:51Yes, yes.
16:52What have you accomplished that sets you apart from others?
16:56Well, when I was 12 years old, I won the Shultz Award.
16:59For what?
17:00Well, it wasn't really an award.
17:02But we had this tailor named Mr. Shultz on the block.
17:05And he was real from the kids.
17:07So whenever we did something good, he used to give us $5.
17:10And we called it the Shultz Award.
17:13Hazel, I never heard of that before.
17:15Oh, sure, I got it.
17:17This woman was in the restaurant.
17:19And she was choking on a fish bone.
17:21So I was quick and I ran over and hit her on the back.
17:24And Mr. Shultz said I might have saved her life.
17:27Well, let's put it another way.
17:29What have you done that would be of interest to the upper class readers of American Elegance Magazine?
17:38You got any ideas, Mr. B?
17:41Well, Hazel, I'm thinking.
17:44Missy?
17:46I'm thinking, too.
17:49I guess they wouldn't be interested in knowing I was the ladies' regional bowling champion of 1944.
17:56I don't think so.
17:58Hmm.
18:00What have I accomplished?
18:02Gee, that's funny.
18:04That's a real head-scratcher.
18:06All my life I always thought of myself as really being somebody.
18:11Now all of a sudden I feel like I'm nobody.
18:14Now, just a minute, Hazel.
18:15I don't want you to feel that way.
18:17It's amazing.
18:19You wouldn't believe that a little thing like this is harder to put together than an expensive portrait camera.
18:24What do you want now, the butcher knife or a screwdriver?
18:26Oh, hand me that potato peeler.
18:31Miss Burke, I had to give up a very important social event this afternoon,
18:36the Ashton reception for this interview.
18:38Now I really must have something, however vague,
18:41that I can exaggerate that will make you presentable as the maid of the month.
18:45Well, the maid of the month wasn't my idea.
18:47Well, it wasn't my idea either.
18:49Whose idea was it?
18:50Mrs. Baxter a couple of months ago.
18:52We wrote up the maid of Mr. Gilbert.
18:53Whose idea was it?
18:54Mr. Anderson, our publisher.
18:56Well, why did he pick me?
18:58He didn't. He was forced into it by Mr. Griffin.
19:01Mr. Griffin?
19:02Mr. Griffin?
19:03Oh, of course. I remember now.
19:06He loaned Anderson the money several years ago to keep the magazine afloat.
19:10And Mr. Griffin always said he wanted to do something for Hazel.
19:13I thought it was something like mentioning me in his will.
19:16Well, I guess the sunshine girls can throw away them ten-foot poles.
19:21It's a lot easier to touch than they thought.
19:30Oh, no, Mr. Griffin.
19:32No, it ain't necessary to apologize.
19:34Your intentions were good.
19:36Yes, but Mr. Anderson promised me he wouldn't let you find out it was my idea.
19:41And then that reporter came along and told you.
19:44I said to him she ought to be fired.
19:46So he fired her.
19:47Oh, no. I don't want anybody fired on my account.
19:50She was snooty to me, but I don't want to take the bread out of her mouth.
19:54Well, she certainly took the bread out of my mouth.
19:56That dinner last night was the worst thing I ever tasted.
20:00She hadn't got you upset.
20:02Look, Mr. Griffin, if you got so much influence with him, you could get her job back.
20:06Because, you see, I don't want her being fired on my conscience.
20:10But, Hazel, I can't...
20:12Hazel.
20:14But, Hazel...
20:16Hazel, I...
20:18I'd like to speak to Mr. Anderson.
20:20Do you have an appointment?
20:22No. Why?
20:23Well, he's an extremely busy man.
20:26I'm afraid you'll have to set up an appointment.
20:28Oh?
20:29Yes, of course.
20:30I'll be right there.
20:32Goodbye.
20:34Goodbye.
20:36Goodbye.
20:38Goodbye.
20:40Goodbye.
20:42Goodbye.
20:44Goodbye.
20:46I'm afraid you'll have to set up an appointment.
20:48Oh? When?
20:50Well, that depends on the nature of your business.
20:52Perhaps one of the other gentlemen in the office could help you.
20:55No, I want to speak to Mr. Anderson.
20:57I just told you, he's an extremely busy man.
21:00You can't see him without an appointment.
21:02However, if you'd care to leave a message...
21:05Oh, yes, I might leave a message.
21:07I might say that when I was parking downstairs, I clipped his fender.
21:11And I thought maybe he'd like to know who did it.
21:13But he's a busy man. I understand.
21:15Bye.
21:17Uh, wait a minute.
21:19Wait just a minute.
21:21I'm sure he'd want to see you.
21:24Here.
21:27Won't you have a nice chocolate?
21:29Oh, thanks.
21:31I don't mind if I do.
21:34Mr. Anderson will see you now.
21:36Oh, ain't that sweet of him, him being so busy and all.
21:42Mr. Anderson, I'm Hazel Burt.
21:44Yes, I recognized you from the photographs my men took yesterday.
21:47If you'll give us the name of your insurance company.
21:50Oh, uh...
21:52I suspect Miss Burt's fender clipping was only a ruse.
21:56Oh, I'm sorry.
21:59Oh, uh...
22:01I suspect Miss Burt's fender clipping was only a ruse to get in to see me.
22:05Well, I said it might be the message. I didn't say it was.
22:08Miss Burt, may I say how much I regret that incident yesterday?
22:12Well, if you want to make it up to me, don't fire Miss Sharp.
22:15I've already fired her.
22:17Oh, well, then hire her back again.
22:19I wouldn't want her losing her job on my account.
22:21Boy, I'd get all tied up inside.
22:23I wouldn't be able to cook where the dawn.
22:25Miss Burt...
22:27Hold on. Mr. Baxter will be firing me because I'm a bum cook.
22:30And then I'll have Miss Sharp on my conscience and you'll have me on yours.
22:40Does Mr. Anderson have my final check ready?
22:43Well, I doubt if it'll be your final check.
22:45What do you mean?
22:47Miss Sharp, I don't like you. I never have.
22:49But I'll admit you're one of the best society reporters in the business.
22:52I'm not interested in your opinion.
22:54Is my final check ready?
22:56Miss Burke is in there.
22:58She's asking him to give you your job back.
23:01Hazel Burke?
23:03I know Mr. Anderson pretty well and she's got him right around her finger.
23:06Why should she do that for me?
23:08Does it surprise you that there are people in the world who turn the other cheek, who return good for evil?
23:13That's funny.
23:15That's really very funny.
23:18I called Mrs. Ashton to ask her to speak to Mr. Anderson.
23:22And she brushed me off.
23:27But this Hazel person...
23:33How do you like that?
23:35I like it.
23:36And I think our readers will like her, too.
23:45Oh, darling.
23:47I stopped by a newsstand and picked up American Elegance for Mayhem.
23:52Miss Sharp has a beautiful story on Hazel.
23:54It has some of Hazel's best recipes in here.
23:56Just think of it, darling.
23:58Any day now, the White House might be serving shrimp curry a la Baxter.
24:02Oh, wait till Hazel sees this.
24:04Oh, are you kidding?
24:05She has 30 copies in the kitchen.
24:07She's autographing them for the Sunshine Girls.
24:09Well, here they are.
24:12In heaven's name.
24:14I remember something Hazel said.
24:16Mr. Griffin insisted stopping by the Lumbyard and picking up these 10-foot poles to touch her with.
24:25What can I do for you?
24:28Hazel, can we touch you?
24:31Oh, sure!
24:3310 poles is exactly what I need.
24:36Oh, they're better than the ones I got.
24:38Mr. B., would you saw these in half and then help me hang my draperies out?
24:54THE END
25:24This has been a Screen Gems film production.