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00:00Here's your coffee, Mr. B.
00:04Oh, thank you, Hazel.
00:08Now you take the theory of relativity.
00:10The what?
00:11Professor Einstein's theory of relativity.
00:13I've been thinking about it a lot lately.
00:16Oh, fine.
00:17You understand how it works, Mr. B?
00:19Hazel, I'm not a mathematician.
00:21Oh, well, I'll explain it to you.
00:23Now for instance, you was to hold your finger on the hot stove for a minute, and it seemed
00:27like an hour.
00:28But if you was to hold a pretty girl in your lap for an hour, it would seem like a minute,
00:33see?
00:34Now you take that washing machine over where Rosie works.
00:37What?
00:38They've had it for years, but it works like a charm.
00:41Rosie's Wash is the envy of the neighborhood.
00:43Hazel, will you please tell me what this is all about?
00:45Now you take the one that we've got, which is practically new.
00:49We had it less than a year.
00:51The cheap one.
00:52The one nobody ever heard of, remember?
00:54Yes, Hazel, I remember.
00:55Well, it ain't doing a good job.
00:57It don't wash things clean, and it tears things to shreds.
01:00So according to the professor, we're up for a new washer.
01:04Ain't science wonderful?
01:27That was a good dinner, Hazel.
01:53Oh, thanks, Missy.
01:54It certainly was, Hazel.
01:55I'm stuffed.
01:56I noticed you didn't like your string beans and almonds.
01:59Of course I did.
02:00You left them on your plate.
02:02Well, you just gave me too much.
02:03Well, I noticed you had to refill a dessert.
02:06Well, I...
02:08You should eat your greens, Mr. B.
02:09He's got all them vitamins and minerals in them.
02:12I eat mine, Hazel.
02:13Atta boy, yes, and you'll get muscles so you can go bowling.
02:17Bowling?
02:18Yes, if Harold eats his vegetables every day for a month,
02:21Hazel's gonna teach him how to bowl.
02:23But he's gotta really clean up his plate.
02:25Hazel's gonna show me how to be a champion like she is.
02:28Oh, I ain't no champ, sport.
02:30It's just that people think I'm terrific
02:32because there ain't much competition in a town this size.
02:35But you'll teach me to be one.
02:37Well, it ain't that easy and it ain't that fast.
02:40You know, Mr. B, bowling is practically an art.
02:43You gotta know how to do footwork and delivery and follow through.
02:47Hazel, I know.
02:48I bowled.
02:50You have?
02:51Well, certainly in high school and college.
02:52As a matter of fact, it was quite good.
02:55Well, I always knew you was an athlete, but I didn't know you bowled.
02:58What's your average?
02:59Mine's 190.
03:00What's yours?
03:02Uh, Hazel, it was such a long time ago, I don't remember.
03:07Well, what weight ball did you use?
03:10Weight?
03:12Hazel, I don't know.
03:13There was a particular ball at the place I bowled, but...
03:15You mean you didn't have a ball of your own?
03:18No.
03:19Oh, Mr. B, all top bowlers have their own ball.
03:22A top male bowler uses a 16-pounder and a top woman bowler uses a 15-pounder.
03:28I see.
03:29I use a 15-pounder.
03:31I was sure that you would.
03:33Did you use a three-finger grip?
03:36Uh, yes.
03:37You got pretty strong hands.
03:39I thought maybe you might use a two-finger grip.
03:41Was you a three-, four-, or a five-stepper?
03:44The what?
03:45How many steps did you use to get to the foul line?
03:49Uh, three, I think.
03:51Oh, most experts use four or five.
03:54I use a four.
03:55Wasn't Dad very good, Hazel?
03:57Yes, son, I was quite good.
03:59I ain't never seen your dad bowl, but he was always a good athlete.
04:02I had a natural talent for it.
04:04Why don't you come over to the bowling center with me this evening?
04:07Well, Hazel, I'm just too tired tonight.
04:09Tonight's the tournament.
04:11Hazel's won three weeks in a row.
04:13Yes, I know.
04:14It's open to men and women.
04:15They give terrific prizes.
04:17I'm just not interested, Hazel.
04:19Well, I guess I'd better go do my dushes.
04:22I'll help you, Hazel.
04:23Oh, fine.
04:24Then I can tell you all about the time I bowled 300.
04:27Wow, when was that?
04:28Well, that was the day that World War II ended.
04:31Oh, I was terrific that night.
04:35What a woman.
04:36Yes.
04:40I was a good bowler.
04:41I'm sure you were, dear.
04:45One time I had an average of 195.
04:49That's higher than Hazel's.
04:50Why didn't you tell her, George?
04:52Let her have her glory.
04:54I just didn't want to seem as though I were bragging.
04:58If I wanted to practice again, I could get right back in the groove.
05:01Well, why don't you, darling?
05:03Because I'm not interested in bowling.
05:05I play golf.
05:05I love golf.
05:06Now, why should I take up bowling?
05:09I'm certainly not interested in competing with Hazel.
05:12Oh, boy, she would love that.
05:15She would just love to bowl me before I got my form back.
05:19Look, honey, would you mind dropping the subject?
05:21I want to read my paper.
05:25George.
05:28Your paper's upside down.
05:43Orange juice is on.
05:44Coming.
05:49Now, ain't that nice?
05:52Good morning, Hazel.
05:53Morning.
05:54Oh, morning, Missy.
05:55Morning, Mr. B.
05:56Waffles for breakfast.
05:58Waffles, Harold.
06:00Oh, boy!
06:01Oh, that always brings him on the run.
06:06Morning, Hazel.
06:07I'll have two.
06:09Well, I'll start you off with one.
06:11Did you win last night?
06:12Well, the winner's name's in the paper.
06:14It's in the sports section, the bottom of page three.
06:17Are you ready for your coffee now, Mr. B?
06:20Please.
06:25Well, darling, aren't you going to see what it says?
06:27Well, Dorothy, you know she won.
06:29Every time she wins, she pretends to be so modest about it.
06:32George, see what it says.
06:37Hazel Burke tops field.
06:38I knew she would.
06:40Yes.
06:41What else does it say?
06:42Hazel Burke, one of the top women kegglers of this area.
06:45Did you find it?
06:47Yes, Hazel.
06:47I'm just reading it aloud.
06:49Oh, swell.
06:50Would you mind starting from the beginning?
06:53Hazel Burke, one of the top women kegglers of this area.
06:56Oh, just exaggerating.
06:58No, they aren't, Hazel.
07:00We don't want to interrupt your dad.
07:02Go ahead, Mr. B.
07:03You was just to the part where it says
07:04one of the top women kegglers in the area.
07:07Yes, thank you.
07:09Swept to her fourth straight victory
07:10in the weekly tourney at the bowling center.
07:13Well, I just got lucky.
07:14No, you didn't, Hazel.
07:16Go on, Mr. B.
07:18Thank you.
07:19Ms. Burke's three games total of 576
07:22topped her closest competition by 12 pins.
07:24My average was 192.
07:26Boy!
07:28Go on, Mr. B.
07:29Go on.
07:30Thank you.
07:31At the conclusion of the contest,
07:32Ms. Burke gave an ex...
07:34Oh, what is it, George?
07:35Gave an exhibition of trick shot bowling.
07:37Oh, well, Mr. B.
07:39I hate to show off like that,
07:41but the fellas got a big kick out of it.
07:44You know what I won?
07:45A 12-pound turkey.
07:46We're going to have it for dinner tonight.
07:48Swear!
07:49Well, that's very generous of you, Hazel.
07:52And congratulations.
07:53Thanks, Missy.
07:56Congratulations, Hazel.
07:58And I want to pay for that turkey.
07:59Oh, no, Mr. B.
08:01It's my present to the family.
08:03Well, I better go get the waffles.
08:06Hazel's name's in the sports section all the time,
08:09isn't it, Dad?
08:10Yes.
08:12Your father's name was there, too.
08:13Remember the golf tournament?
08:15Golf tournament?
08:16Yes, Harold, two years ago.
08:18Never mind, Dorothy.
08:19Did you come in first?
08:21Well, no.
08:22Second?
08:23Never mind, Harold.
08:25Did you, Dad?
08:26No, son, I came in fourth.
08:29That's too bad.
08:31After Hazel won last week,
08:33I took her autograph to school.
08:34And you know what I got for it?
08:36A banana.
08:37Harold, I don't want you taking other children's lunches.
08:40Can I do it for baseball cards?
08:42Billy Webster offered me a Mickey Mantle.
08:47Honey, uh, you know,
08:48if I wanted to get back in the groove again,
08:50I really could.
08:51You mean bowling?
08:52Yes, bowling.
08:53Really?
08:54That's right.
08:55If I wasn't so interested in golf, I...
08:58Harold, how would you like to go around
09:01the golf course with me sometime?
09:03Could I play?
09:05Well, I'm afraid not.
09:06You're not quite big enough for that.
09:08Then I think I'd rather go bowling.
09:12Excuse me.
09:25Just half a second, sir.
09:31There we are.
09:33A great champion.
09:36Yes, uh, so I've heard.
09:38Now, what can I do for you?
09:39Well, uh, I used to be a fairly good bowler,
09:42and I've decided to take the sport up again.
09:44Wonderful.
09:46You, uh, sell bowling equipment?
09:47Yes, sir.
09:48Anything you need.
09:49Fine.
09:50I want some shoes and, uh,
09:53naturally, my own bowling ball.
09:55Oh, of course.
09:57Sixteen pounder.
09:58All right.
09:59We have an expert in the pro shop who'll fix you up.
10:01If you'll just come this way.
10:02No, no, no.
10:03Well, there is one other thing.
10:05As I said, I used to be a very good bowler,
10:07but I haven't bowled in years.
10:08I want to get my form back as quickly as possible.
10:11Well, if you're in good physical condition, there's no reason...
10:14Don't you worry about the physical condition.
10:16I've been playing golf and working out in the gym once a week.
10:19What I want is daily bowling lessons.
10:21Daily?
10:22Well, you are in a hurry.
10:24That's right.
10:25And if I progress as well as I hope,
10:27I intend to enter your next weekly contest.
10:29Fine. We'll be glad to have you.
10:32Now, for a teacher.
10:33I want the best in town.
10:34Well, I'm afraid that isn't possible.
10:36Why not?
10:37That would be Miss Burke.
10:39Oh.
10:40She works as a maid for a family named Baxter's or something like that.
10:45You ought to hear her talk about that family.
10:47Oh? What does she say?
10:49Raves about them.
10:51Absolutely devoted.
10:52That's why she wouldn't be able to give you lessons.
10:54Unless, of course, you wanted to take lessons at night.
10:57No, no, no, no, no, thanks.
10:58I prefer a male teacher anyway.
11:01Well, in that case, I'll introduce you to Jack Ballard.
11:04You sure he's good?
11:05Oh, one of the best.
11:06He's been coached for years by Miss Burke.
11:09Fine.
11:10What is your name, sir?
11:13Armbruster.
11:14Willard Armbruster.
11:17Fine.
11:21Now, those shoes feel all right, Mr. Armbruster?
11:24Very comfortable.
11:25And that ball, now that fits your hand nice and comfortable?
11:27Perfectly.
11:28All right.
11:29Now, let's start with the fundamentals.
11:31If you don't mind, Mr. Ballard, let's just forego the fundamentals.
11:34I don't need them.
11:35Oh?
11:36That's right.
11:36I used to be quite a bowler.
11:38All I want is someone to help me brush up on my technique.
11:41All right, then.
11:42You just go ahead and bowl one, and we'll know where to start, huh?
11:45Right.
11:59Well, that kind of got away from you, Mr. Armbruster.
12:03Yes, I haven't bowled in a number of years.
12:05And I...
12:07What do you think?
12:09Why don't we start with the fundamentals?
12:14When are you going to see him again?
12:16Tonight, probably.
12:17He's usually at the bowl.
12:18When's a starving man going to get some dinner?
12:20George, you've been asking that every 10 minutes.
12:22Dinner will be at its regular time.
12:24Well, I'm ravenous.
12:25How come you're so hungry tonight?
12:27Did you work out at the gym today?
12:29Well, I...
12:31I had a very light lunch.
12:32Well, salad's ready.
12:35Well, then all we have to wait for is the meat.
12:36Why don't you go and relax, Missy?
12:38I'll call you when dinner's ready.
12:40I guess I will.
12:41Very good idea.
12:42Because there's something I do want to tell you.
12:46We're bowling?
12:48I don't want Hazel or Harold to know anything about it.
12:50Why not?
12:51Because next Friday night, I hope to enter the Bowler of the Week contest.
12:54But why keep it a secret, George?
12:56Hazel would be very excited, and she could give you some pointers.
12:59I don't need her pointers.
13:01Well, Harold would love to know.
13:01Look, I'll be honest with you.
13:03Harold is the only reason I decided to take it up again.
13:06Because...
13:07Well, because I want his admiration.
13:09Now, if I can get my form back, I'll enter the contest.
13:12If I can't, I just won't enter.
13:14I don't intend making a fool of myself.
13:16Oh, George, you'd never do that.
13:18How did it go today?
13:20Well, my first ball was a gutter ball, but I improved.
13:24I think I surprised my teacher.
13:25Oh, I didn't know you were taking lessons.
13:27From the second best teacher in town.
13:29The best teacher is, uh, busy.
13:31Oh, really?
13:33I wish you'd hurry up.
13:33I'm starving.
13:38You mean this fellow's just getting back into bowling again,
13:41and already he wants to enter the contest this week?
13:44That's right, Hazel.
13:45And I never saw a man with such determination.
13:47Oh, boy, that's a scream.
13:49What's his name?
13:50Armbruster.
13:50Willard Armbruster.
13:51And to tell you the truth, he hasn't got a bad form.
13:55Oh, yeah?
13:55What's he bowl?
13:56His last game was 156.
13:58156?
14:00Oh, he ought to be bowling with the juniors.
14:03Let's see now, what am I going for?
14:05Well, you have, uh, six strikes in a row.
14:08Six in a row.
14:09Well, let's try to make it seven.
14:11There we go.
14:23Wow, that was seven.
14:25Good girl.
14:27Say, you know, I gotta hand it to this Armbruster fella
14:30for trying, even though he hasn't got a chance in a blue moon.
14:33Look, Hazel, uh, let's forget about him, huh?
14:37Now, what about us?
14:38I mean, couldn't you go to a movie with me?
14:40Well, yes, I guess I could manage it.
14:43Friday night?
14:44Oh, well, for Pete's sake.
14:45It's the night of the contest, the bowling contest.
14:48We'll have to make it Thursday.
14:50That's a date.
14:51How come you're working at home, Mr. B?
14:54I'm going out in a little while.
14:55I have to finish this up first.
14:56Gonna play a game of golf?
14:58Not today, son.
14:59Oh, you want to hear something funny?
15:01I heard it down at the bowling alley last night.
15:03This fella's taking lessons so he can join the contest Friday night.
15:09Well, I don't think that's so funny.
15:11Oh, yeah, but he hasn't played in years.
15:13He's just taking up the game again.
15:16Yeah, they just may say that.
15:17He's just taking up the game again.
15:20Yeah, they just may surprise you.
15:21Oh, it'll be a miracle.
15:23You know, for bowling, you have to have perfect coordination.
15:26Hazel, I know I've bowled.
15:28Yeah, I know you have, but I'm talking about tournament bowling, Mr. B.
15:32You know, you gotta have top-ranking players for that.
15:35Gotta hand it to this fella, though.
15:36Boy, he's in there trying.
15:39It's kind of like little Harold playing sandlot baseball and dreaming of the big leagues.
15:44You know what I mean?
15:46I don't see there's any comparison.
15:48Well, I ain't got time to go into it.
15:50I better get my work done if I'm going to go out myself this afternoon.
15:55Do you have time for a game of checkers?
15:57Certainly not.
15:58Unless I finish this work, I'm going to miss a very important appointment.
16:12Oh, good for you, Mr. Armbruster.
16:15Listen, you make one more strike, you'll have a 179.
16:18You know, I think easing my thumb out of the thumb hole has helped my curve a lot.
16:22It certainly has.
16:23Listen, you know, you ought to drop by in the evening, meet some of our regulars.
16:27No, no, thanks.
16:27I'm not ready to meet your regulars yet.
16:29I'm content just to just practice.
16:32Well, you might pick up some pointers.
16:34Hazel Burke might be here.
16:36Thank you, but I'll just continue on with my daytime lessons.
16:45179, that's a pretty good score.
16:57Was he just lucky?
16:58I don't think so, Hazel.
17:00179.
17:02Boy, that's pretty good for a fella just starting to bowl again.
17:06Armbruster must be a natural athlete.
17:10Yeah.
17:11Roller skating again tonight?
17:13No, I think I'll bowl a couple of games.
17:32Wonderful.
17:33I think I found the slot.
17:34Why, you certainly have.
17:35I never saw anything like that.
17:36I watched that last game, Mr. Armbruster.
17:39You're developing fast.
17:40Thank you, but I've got a good teacher.
17:42What was his score, Jack?
17:43187.
17:44How about that?
17:45Man, that's great.
17:47Listen, the tournament's day after tomorrow.
17:49Can I sign you up?
17:49Oh, not yet.
17:51Let's see how I do tomorrow.
17:52187?
17:54That's not bad, is it?
17:56187?
17:57Are you kidding?
17:59Absolutely not.
18:00Armbruster's good.
18:01Oh, look, Hazel.
18:03You haven't forgotten about our date for tomorrow night, have you?
18:06No, I ain't forgotten.
18:07But I'm going to do a little serious bowling now.
18:10And don't anybody ask me to do any trick shots.
18:12I just want to practice.
18:15187?
18:22George, how did the bowling go?
18:26Hazel can't hear you.
18:27She's dressing.
18:27Somebody's taking her to a movie tonight.
18:29Oh, well, I don't want to know a thing about it till tomorrow night.
18:32I want this to be a complete surprise to her.
18:34Boy, am I back in the groove.
18:36I told her today to sign me up for the tournament.
18:38Oh, is she going to be surprised?
18:40Yes, I think she is.
18:41Jack Ballard said he's my teacher.
18:44He said he'd never seen a bowler come along so fast.
18:46Oh, this is one tournament I'm not going to miss.
18:48Well, just don't say anything to Hazel about it.
18:50I want this to be the biggest surprise in her life.
18:52And Harold will want to see it, too.
18:54Well, it's going to be a little late.
18:56I think we have to get a babysitter for him.
18:58Oh, that must be Hazel's date.
18:59I'll let him in.
19:01That's the least I can do for her with this big surprise coming.
19:06Oh, that's all right, Mr. B.
19:07It's probably for me anyway.
19:08Oh, I was going to let him in for you, Hazel.
19:10Well, it's just as well.
19:11I want you to meet him.
19:12He's a real nice fella.
19:13His name is Jack Ballard.
19:15Oh, excuse me, Hazel.
19:16I left the tub running.
19:19Funny, I don't hear it.
19:24Good evening, Hazel.
19:25Come on in, Jack.
19:26I'll get my coat.
19:26Thank you.
19:27Hey, this is a beautiful place.
19:30Yeah, ain't it?
19:31Miss Baxter decorated it.
19:33Would you like to meet her?
19:34Oh, yeah, I sure would.
19:35Well, come on.
19:36She's in the den.
19:36Thank you.
19:38Missy, I'd like you to meet an old friend of mine, Mr. Jack Ballard.
19:41This is Miss Baxter.
19:42How do you do?
19:43Pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Baxter.
19:45You certainly have a beautiful house.
19:48Thank you.
19:49I don't know when I've seen any love.
19:54Well, you know Mr. Armbruster.
19:56What?
19:57This is Mr. Armbruster, the fella I've been giving lessons to.
20:00That ain't Mr. Armbruster.
20:02That's Mr. Baxter.
20:03What do you know about that?
20:05He's been bowling under a non-diplomat.
20:07Well, Hazel, he just wanted to surprise you.
20:09He surprised me, all right.
20:10How'd he do today?
20:11He bowled a 198.
20:13198?
20:14Hey, we ain't going to no movies.
20:16We're going to bowling center.
20:18I'm going to practice until the place closes down.
20:20Hazel!
20:27Well, this is it, Mr. B.
20:29Yes, it is, Hazel.
20:30The moment of truth, you might say.
20:32Well, I ain't asking no quarters and I ain't giving none.
20:35Fair enough.
20:36Shake?
20:37Shake.
20:37And good luck, Mr. B.
20:39Good luck to you, Hazel.
20:47Nervous?
20:48A little.
20:49So am I.
20:50Harold is too.
20:51He made me promise to wake him up when we got home tonight.
20:53It'll be too late for that.
20:55He can find out the first thing in the morning.
20:57There goes our first one.
21:07Were you taking notes, Mr. Armbruster?
21:11Very funny, but I don't think I need notes.
21:15You mustn't get discouraged, Missy, if he falls all to pieces.
21:18You know, this is his first tournament and he's kind of shaky.
21:21I don't want to have to choose between you, Hazel, but I do hope he does well.
21:25I tell you what I'll do.
21:26I'll keep my fingers crossed for him.
21:37Oh, that's wonderful.
21:40Well, he can keep his own fingers crossed.
21:44Well, Miss Burke, you're up.
21:47Would you like to have me give you a few pointers?
21:49No, I wouldn't need no pointers from you if I was hunting pheasant and you was a bird dog.
21:58That woman's impossible.
23:07Hazel was certainly a good sport last night.
23:09I think she was really quite proud of you, George, winning your very first tournament.
23:14Yes, I guess she was.
23:15And I know she was proud of you when you told them you were sending
23:17the electric blanket you won to the children's hospital.
23:21Well, honey, we don't need a blanket.
23:22You know, the prize I want to see is a look on Harold's face
23:25when he reads my name in the paper.
23:26Are you going to enter next week's tournament?
23:28Oh, not on your life.
23:30I was bowling way over my head and Hazel had an off night.
23:32Now I'm quitting while the quitting is good.
23:34Morning, Dad.
23:35Did you win?
23:36Take a look in the morning's paper.
23:38Then you won.
23:39Look in the sports page.
23:40OK, Dad.
23:41Oh, Harold.
23:42Yes, Dad?
23:43I'll tell you what.
23:44If you want, why don't you read it out loud at the breakfast table?
23:47OK, Dad.
23:48How does that saying go, George?
23:50Vanity, thy name is woman.
23:52All right, so I'm pleased with myself.
23:55All right, you want some breakfast?
23:56I'm starving.
23:57Grab an arm.
23:58No, I tell you, sport, he was terrific.
24:01You're just saying that.
24:02No, he almost skinned me alive.
24:05And why didn't it say so in the paper?
24:07Well, maybe you didn't read it right.
24:09Yes, I did.
24:10I'll be in front when breakfast is ready.
24:13Where's Harold going?
24:15I don't know, Mr. B.
24:17He brought in the paper and turned to the sports section and said you'd lost.
24:22Lost?
24:22What'd it say?
24:23I don't know.
24:24I didn't read it.
24:30Oh, for Pete's sake.
24:33Bowling tourney won by Willard Armbruster.
24:39Harold!
25:03So
25:28this has been a Screen Gems film production.
25:32you