DRAG ME TO DINNER S01E10 (2023)
Transcript
00:00As some of you may know, earlier this year, we lost one of our drag sisters, Heclina.
00:12This next episode was recorded several months before her passing.
00:16Heclina was a trailblazer in the drag community.
00:18She began performing in San Francisco in the mid-90s, and her theme drag shows helped launch
00:22the careers of some of the most successful drag queens and performance artists working
00:26today.
00:28She was best known for pushing the envelope and creating a safe space for edgy, experimental,
00:33and outrageous performers.
00:34She helped tear down the walls that led to a greater acceptance of drag, eventually to
00:38the point where we now see drag queens on television, appearing at drag conventions,
00:43performing on Broadway, and headlining giant international tours.
00:47What you're about to see comes directly from the wild and twisted minds of Heclina and
00:51her best friend and teammate, Peaches Christ.
00:54So I hope you enjoy watching this episode as much as I enjoyed filming it.
00:58And cut.
00:59Ugh.
01:00Do you know that she owed me $20 and then died?
01:03Rude!
01:04Come join our parties, the living room side, where two teams of drag queens compete for
01:32the prize.
01:33Who will be the winner?
01:34Tag me, Connie!
01:35Hey!
01:36Greetings, ladies and gentlemen, and everyone in between.
01:37I'm your host, Murray Hill.
01:38This isn't my double chin, it's my stomach coming up for air.
01:39Tonight, two teams of your favorite drag queens will go head-to-head to throw dragtastic
01:40theme parties for our judges.
01:41He once made a life-size sculpture of himself with Legos, and now he's got a new one.
01:42He's got a new one.
01:43He's got a new one.
01:44He's got a new one.
01:45He's got a new one.
01:46He's got a new one.
01:47He's got a new one.
01:48He's got a new one.
01:49He's got a new one.
01:50He's got a new one.
01:51He's got a new one.
01:52He's got a new one.
01:53He's got a new one.
01:54He's got a new one.
01:55He's got a new one.
01:56He's got a new one.
01:57He's got a new one.
01:58He's got a new one.
01:59He's got a new one.
02:00He's got a new one.
02:01He's got a new one.
02:02He's got a new one.
02:03He's got a new one.
02:04He's got a new one.
02:05He's got a new one.
02:06He's got a new one.
02:07He's got a new one.
02:08He's got a new one.
02:09He's got a new one.
02:10He's got a new one.
02:11He's got a new one.
02:12He's got a new one.
02:13He's got a new one.
02:14He's got a new one.
02:15He's got a new one.
02:16He's got a new one.
02:18The judges will be focusing on design and decor, food and drink, and entertainment and overall
02:24vibes to decide which team is greater.
02:27So let's meet tonight's teams.
02:31Hi, I'm Bitch Puddin', and I'm the dessert, and this is my sister off the menu, Meatball,
02:37who's the entree.
02:38Mm-hmm.
02:40I'm Peaches Christ, and this is Hecklina, and we've been friends for a long, long time.
02:47When we started doing drag, it was unpopular.
02:50Back in my day, we would get really hostile reactions from people.
02:54And so it was a real passion.
02:56I always did it for money, so.
02:58Go ahead.
02:59You go ahead.
03:01Us in a room together sounds a lot like, whoa!
03:10You know, we really take you on a ride.
03:13We're gonna lose.
03:18Unless the judges are idiots, they're gonna love us.
03:22We're just trying to maintain our high standards of professionalism, hygiene, and move on.
03:29And beauty.
03:31Get out here, ladies!
03:32Come on!
03:34Come on out!
03:44Oh, jeez.
03:45Oh, my God.
03:46Can't find a good teammate anywhere.
03:50You okay?
03:51I'm fine, I'm fine, thank you.
03:52Oh, my God.
03:53I tried to kiss him.
03:54I know, you tried it.
03:55Ladies, how are you today?
03:56We're great!
03:57We're great!
03:58Gorgeous.
03:59So, Bitch, I don't want people to think I'm calling you a bitch all night.
04:02That's your actual name, right?
04:03Yep, I'm asking for it.
04:04You can call me Bitch.
04:05Peaches, do you like any other fruits besides peaches?
04:09No, I just like peaches.
04:12Now, Meatball.
04:13Yes?
04:14People call me Meatball, too, so I feel a special bond with you.
04:16They call me Meatball because I'm big, brown, and round.
04:19Showbiz.
04:20Now, Meatball, how did you prepare for tonight?
04:22Are we cooking?
04:25And, ladies, what do you think about your competition tonight?
04:27Well, I've mentored them, I've made them what they are today.
04:30I'm excited to see Ebhora and Dahlia's...
04:38I'll let her get my jacket.
04:40And, of course, no dinner party would be complete without a fantastic theme.
04:45Here to talk about tonight's resident expert and the life of the party, David Berka.
05:01Hey, Murray.
05:02Hello, ladies.
05:03Hello.
05:04Hurry, hurry, step right up, because tonight's theme is Big Bottom, Big Top.
05:11It's your chance to celebrate carnivals, freak shows, and the excitement of when the circus comes to town.
05:16Our judges will be paying attention to food and drink, design and decor, and entertainment and overall vibe.
05:24I want to see how your teams can elevate the idea of fairground food.
05:29You know, you can make alcoholic slushies, turkey legs, salty nuts...
05:35And deep fried anything.
05:37If you feel like giving up, don't worry, because you'll both have a handy helper to assist you.
05:41So, let's make this the greatest show on earth, or at least on Hulu.
05:46All right, queens, are you ready to join the ten-in-one and impress our judges?
05:52Because if you do, you'll be showered with fantastic prizes, like these.
05:58A baby bottle full of babies.
06:00A nut sack.
06:01Tuck tape.
06:02A Fran dresser.
06:04A bathtub of butter.
06:06Oh, de hairy styles.
06:08Fifty-five gallons of lube.
06:09A high-five from Bianca del Rio herself.
06:12All the crackers you can carry.
06:14And the grandest prize of them all, the glorious Golden Grater.
06:20Because one team is great, but the other is greater.
06:25All right, are you ready to get this party started?
06:27Yeah!
06:29Let's start the clock and release the queens!
06:32Get out of my way!
06:34Excuse me, sir.
06:35Move, bitch!
06:36You have 90 minutes to complete this challenge.
06:40Get out of my way!
06:43Okay, what do you need?
06:44I want tequila, I want moonshine, I want...
06:47What do you want?
06:48I'll wake up anything.
06:49I have a knife.
06:51Bitch, I got it!
06:53Oh, we need cups.
06:54Oh, wait, we're good.
06:55Here we go.
06:56Bitch Pudding loves being trashy and loose and kind of crass and wild.
07:02Cheers to fun!
07:03She's drinking whiskey out of a measuring cup.
07:05That's very creative.
07:07Okay, good, let them drink.
07:08I'm not surprised at all.
07:09All right, Peaches, the professionals can get to work now.
07:11Right, okay.
07:12We got new school.
07:13Yes.
07:14And we got old school.
07:15It's true.
07:16It's carnival.
07:17I'll defer to you.
07:18Why is that?
07:19Because you're the freak show queen.
07:20Oh, my God, you bitch.
07:21Pecorino and Peaches met back in the day in the 90s.
07:25Between the two of us, you're definitely more of the cook.
07:27Right, and you're more of the eater.
07:29There are legends in San Francisco culture.
07:31Drag royalty here.
07:32But from the looks of it.
07:34Honey, whose corset split today?
07:36Not mine.
07:37Okay.
07:38I think what we should do is freak show.
07:40What's a freak show food?
07:41Some kind of chopped off limb or something like that.
07:43What if it was like a cannibal feast?
07:46We take a meatloaf but mold it in the shape of feet.
07:49Okay, I like that.
07:50And then we'll use like onions and use those as toenails.
07:53Side dishes.
07:54Side dishes.
07:55Potatoes, but make it ghoulish and call it Edgar Allen po-tatoes.
07:58Okay, that is so dumb.
08:00And let's do some witch fingers.
08:02What are witch fingers?
08:03Breadsticks that are made to look like fingers.
08:06Oh, like those.
08:07Okay, so witch fingers.
08:09By the way, does this ring make my hand look smaller?
08:12Actually, no.
08:14Carnival.
08:15What comes to your mind?
08:16Rodeo clown.
08:17Beer.
08:18Beer.
08:19But what kind of food?
08:20Turkey leg.
08:21Turkey leg.
08:22They're so good.
08:23What if we did like a funnel cake, but we make it fancy.
08:25Right.
08:26Caviar.
08:27You wild.
08:28Gold leaf.
08:29Dirty.
08:30Creme fraiche.
08:31Filthy.
08:32Filthy.
08:33A little.
08:34Okay, let's do it.
08:35I don't have to eat it.
08:36They do.
08:37That's all that matters.
08:38That's all that matters.
08:39Potato sliders with some bacon bits.
08:40Potato skin.
08:41But how are we going to elevate that?
08:42Maybe we could wrap it in gold.
08:43Okay.
08:44Okay.
08:45If anyone's been looking for Alaska, I found her.
08:46Oh, there is Alaska.
08:47She's lost a lot of weight, yes.
08:48This is exactly what we need to set the right mood.
08:51Freak show.
08:52We should make this look like carny hell.
08:55Right.
08:56I want beer cans everywhere.
08:59Okay.
09:00And a petting zoo.
09:01Oh, yes.
09:02And a smoking corner.
09:05Yes.
09:06Uh-huh.
09:07Let's do magic.
09:08I'll make you disappear.
09:11What should we do to entertain them?
09:13Oh, they play ring toss.
09:14I think we should do a dunk tank.
09:17Should we get wet or should they get wet?
09:19We should get wet.
09:20We should get wet.
09:21You have 60 minutes remaining.
09:25Easy.
09:26We've got San Francisco versus L.A.
09:28I do think that San Francisco is a little more laid back.
09:32You put that makeup on in 20 minutes, honey.
09:34Honey, honey.
09:35We have plenty of time.
09:36These girls are refined.
09:37Don't panic like that other team is doing.
09:39These L.A. queens, they're...
09:40Oh, they're...
09:43Yeah.
09:44What is happening over there?
09:45Oh, my God.
09:46It's refreshing.
09:47It's so refreshing.
09:49I need a helper.
09:50Helper?
09:51I can't work like...
09:52Oh!
09:53We're ready for helpers to rock!
09:55Hi!
09:56Hey.
09:58Helper!
09:59Oh, my God!
10:01Radio!
10:03We got a helper!
10:04Do you mind pumping up all these balloons for us
10:07while we start cooking?
10:08Yeah.
10:09Thank you.
10:14All right, listen.
10:15This is a little...
10:16Too red, too red.
10:17Let me go with something a little warmer.
10:20Let's put highlights around your face.
10:23That could match.
10:24Maybe dark.
10:25Something spooky and exciting?
10:27No.
10:28Uh, okay.
10:29This is probably our best bet.
10:32It has the highlights, which kind of look gray.
10:35Look at that.
10:36Oh, my God.
10:38Thanks so much, Bianca.
10:39I really appreciate it.
10:40Have a great show.
10:41Looks great.
10:42My work is done.
10:44Queens, you have 45 minutes left.
10:47Amazing.
10:48All right, don't forget,
10:49you got to finish your food and drinks,
10:51add decor to make your party room shine,
10:53and prepare to entertain the judges.
10:55Time is ticking, so get to it!
10:59Bitch, we have to hurry!
11:01Oh, bitch, I'm whisking!
11:03Okay, no, I mixed it all wrong.
11:05Ooh, that's too much pepper!
11:07It's savory!
11:08It's savory, it's savory.
11:13I think they're chopped!
11:16Take out Valium, please.
11:18Yeah, they're...
11:19Out of control.
11:20Oh, my God.
11:21This feels moist.
11:23It's time to form this into a foot.
11:26Is that a toe?
11:27That's a foot.
11:28Is that what your toe looks like?
11:30It does now, yeah.
11:31Oh.
11:32Makes sense.
11:33Ladies, 30 minutes left!
11:35It looks cool!
11:36It looks like a final game!
11:37Wow!
11:38The trick to this, though,
11:39is that you're going to have to pull it out
11:41at the right time,
11:42because it could go from...
11:43Excuse me?
11:44Oh, my God!
11:45Can you please keep it down a notch?
11:48Listen, they're old.
11:49This is literally all they have.
11:53I need a bottle of your finest gin.
11:55Now I'm going to mix the dark and stormy
11:58and eat somebody who actually drinks alcohol
12:00to taste it.
12:01I will!
12:02I know.
12:03Oh, the teams, look at this.
12:04They are bridging the gap
12:05between the old and the new.
12:07How does it taste, Meatball?
12:09Could use more alcohol.
12:11Okay, good, good.
12:13I'm going to put a muzzle on Meatball in a minute.
12:16Oh, my God!
12:17Grandma all pissed today!
12:19I'm going to make one of our cocktails.
12:21I'm going to add the moonshine.
12:22You want to come take a whiff?
12:23Yeah.
12:28They're going to love that.
12:31Is this enough lemon?
12:33Oh, my God, I love your piece of hay in your mouth.
12:35Look!
12:36Yes, Daddy!
12:37Yes, Daddy!
12:39Meatball!
12:40We don't own this set!
12:43We are a guest!
12:45Yes, Daddy!
12:46Yes, Daddy!
12:50Oh, my God.
12:51It got in the drink!
12:52No, it didn't.
12:53Yes, it did!
12:54What are we going to do?
12:55We're running out of time!
12:56Ah!
12:58Ladies, 15 minutes remaining.
13:01Power!
13:02The Witchfingers need almonds
13:05The Witchfingers need almonds as the fingernails.
13:09And there's the fingers.
13:11This is actually a very nice cocktail that we have made,
13:14regardless of the glass or not.
13:15It's like when you get on a carnival ride
13:17and you know it kind of breaks sometimes.
13:19And it gets derailed.
13:20Yeah.
13:21It's going to be okay.
13:22Okay, Queens, I'm going to ask you a trivia question.
13:26Trivia!
13:27It's trivia time!
13:29And the first team to shout out the correct answer
13:32will get an extra hand from our resident expert, David Berka.
13:35Okay.
13:36And the other team will get a visit from Sue Chek.
13:39Best of luck to you.
13:40All right, here we go.
13:42What are female ringmasters called?
13:46Ringmistresses.
13:47Then we have a winner!
13:48Yes!
13:49So did you!
13:50Yay!
13:51I was going to say Joan Crawford.
13:53It's time to get a special tip from David.
13:56Hi, David!
13:57Hi!
13:58Hi, hi!
13:59Hi!
14:00Hi!
14:01Okay, well this looks great.
14:03A little bit of a tip here.
14:04I'd like to give just the tip.
14:06Okay.
14:07No one likes to eat the woody part of the thyme,
14:10so you want to strip off the leaves.
14:12Okay, thank you.
14:13I'll take the extra fiber.
14:14I forgot to take my Metamucil today.
14:15Good, good, good.
14:16What else do you need help with?
14:17I just put the potatoes in the oven, but can you tell me how long it belongs in here?
14:21I don't want them to die.
14:23Oh, you've got a while.
14:25You put sour cream on there?
14:26I think so.
14:27Okay, no, you put the sour cream after
14:28because the sour cream is just going to melt
14:30and make your potatoes mush.
14:31Once again.
14:32Yes, David.
14:33Number beer sous chef is here!
14:35Oh.
14:37Uh-oh, it's sous chef.
14:39Hey guys, what do you need help with here?
14:41I'm sous chef.
14:42I'm a huge fan.
14:44I don't know how to juggle.
14:46We don't need juggling.
14:47Oh, sous!
14:48Oh, okay.
14:49Sous!
14:50Woo!
14:51Sous.
14:52Oh, I love ranch.
14:53Oh, that reminds me of something that I saw in the hotel room last night.
14:59Thank you, that was y'all.
15:00Thank you so much.
15:01I'm trying to help out!
15:05Four minutes remain.
15:07Okay, we've got to make more fun, okay?
15:09Oh, wow, look at that big load.
15:11Did you get glass in there?
15:13Let me put my hand in.
15:14Oh!
15:16Now that these two over here are panicking and we're done,
15:19it's time for us to have a cocktail and reflect on our job.
15:23Well done.
15:24Relax.
15:26Oh!
15:27I feel bad for them, quite frankly.
15:29Oh, no!
15:30That's a burning.
15:32Time is running out.
15:34You must be inside your dining room when the curtains are closed.
15:38We're done.
15:39And they are closing in 30 seconds.
15:42We need to make another photo.
15:43Let's make another photo, okay?
15:44Let's relax.
15:46This may or may not have broken glass in it,
15:48but that's the texture we're looking for.
15:49Yeah, we want that.
15:50There's no substitute for experience.
15:53Isn't it supposed to smell like fire?
15:5515 seconds!
15:57No!
15:58To being finished with oodles of time to spare.
16:0110, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!
16:11Time's up, queens!
16:14Ta-da!
16:15We did it!
16:17Oh, my God, that was something.
16:20I sure hope these queens are ready to host the judges
16:22because it's party time!
16:30Drag me to dinner!
16:33This is Drag Me to Dinner,
16:35where watching drag queens trying to cook
16:37is the best circus in town.
16:39We are about to go big bottom, big top on these dinner parties,
16:43but first, let's meet our judges.
16:46She's what happens when the bearded lady gets into clown makeup.
16:49It's Bianca Del Rio!
16:52What I think is funny, Murray, is that you think I'm wearing makeup.
16:55No, I actually don't. I think you look great.
16:58And he's a jack of all trades
17:00and the ringmaster of this circus,
17:02Neil Patrick Harris!
17:04Hurry, hurry, Murray Scurry.
17:11And our final judger is an incredible actress
17:14who, in the spirit of meth...
17:16Method. Meth. Meth acting.
17:18And our final judger is an incredible actress
17:21who, in the spirit of method acting,
17:23has decided to be the smallest judge on the stage.
17:26There are no small parts until tonight.
17:29It's Hanifah Wood!
17:31Oh, she's the littlest judger in all of the world.
17:35Ooh.
17:36Now it's time to see what our queens have in store for us.
17:39Head backstage, kids. Come on. I'll see you in a minute.
17:41Get out of here. Beat it.
17:43Careful with Hanifah.
17:44These ladies have walked the high wire,
17:47swallowed flames, and made my appetite disappear.
17:50It's meatball and bitch puddin'
17:53in hot food, hotter carnies.
18:07Ooh. Okay, we did it.
18:09We did it. Set up.
18:11The food is ready.
18:12We just have to wait for them to get here.
18:14Wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on.
18:17Perfect.
18:19They're here!
18:20Yay!
18:22I wonder who's coming to dinner.
18:24Open the door and be fun. Let's find out.
18:26Okay.
18:28Hello!
18:29Hi, everybody.
18:30Ah!
18:31Welcome, welcome!
18:33How are you?
18:34Wow, your place looks fantastic.
18:35I know. Don't you love all the decorations?
18:37I'm all about it.
18:38We spent an hour on it.
18:42Please, have a seat.
18:44Okay.
18:45All right.
18:46And please, put Hanifah next to me.
18:50Are you guys ready for a beautiful feast?
18:52Yes!
18:53Why don't we start with drinks?
18:55Sure!
18:57I got excited. You said drinks.
18:59Oh, do you want a mocktail or a cocktail?
19:02I'll have a mocktail.
19:03Okay.
19:04Our mocktail is a delicious strawberry lemonade slushy
19:08with a beautiful topping of cotton candy.
19:13Oh!
19:14So it's a drink and a dessert.
19:16A little bit.
19:17What about someone like me who wants a cocktail?
19:19It's a watermelon slushy.
19:22Refreshing.
19:23I put a lot in one of these. I'm sorry.
19:25I'm not bad at it. This is my idea of fun.
19:28It should be a little smoky and delicious.
19:31Hanifah, do you want a sip?
19:33Give her a little sip.
19:34Oh, I would love a drink, but a virgin.
19:37Oh, yeah. Hanifah doesn't drink.
19:39She doesn't? Okay, great.
19:41If you notice some graininess, there might be broken glass in it.
19:44Sadly, when we were making the slushy earlier,
19:46Hanifah got too excited and yippee-ki-yayed the glass,
19:48and it got into the slushy.
19:50I'm going to level with you.
19:52I'm not paying for that light that I broke.
19:58Fair.
19:59Okay, that's all that matters.
20:00There's a piece of glass that's in it right there.
20:03That's amazing.
20:04It's amazing that you utilized it in the tablescape.
20:06Well, because we like to keep it high-class
20:08and also very trashy.
20:10In order to get your first serving of food,
20:12we have to play a little game.
20:14Oh, I love games.
20:15I used to play games.
20:20When I was a kid in Texas and we would go to the rodeo,
20:22and you got a watermelon,
20:24you would take the seed and get into a contest
20:26and see who could spit it first.
20:28Oh, I love that game.
20:29So today we're going to be playing that game,
20:31but with chocolate-covered almonds right here in front of you.
20:34And then you'll spit it into my mouth.
20:37Who wants to go first?
20:38Who wants to go first?
20:39I'll go first. I can't wait.
20:43Oh, got the titty.
20:45My turn.
20:46Okay.
20:53Okay, moving on.
20:54What about Hanifa?
20:55Hanifa?
20:56Oh, you know I want the meat.
20:58Oh, there's a little one.
21:00There you go, Hanifa.
21:02I got it!
21:04Hanifa!
21:05Oh, my gosh. You're so good.
21:07She's so talented.
21:08All right, for the beginning of our course,
21:11we'll start with the savory funnel cake.
21:15Topped with creme fraiche and fish eggs.
21:18Caviar?
21:19Yeah, it's caviar!
21:20It's your money, yeah!
21:21We spent your money on caviar and gold leaf.
21:23And I put it on a funnel cake,
21:25and now you're going to eat it.
21:27I was trying to class up the carnival.
21:29I see.
21:30Now, is it normal to start with a sweet appetizer like that?
21:33It's savory!
21:34Oh, okay, yeah, that too.
21:36Listen, bitch.
21:37That's actually really good.
21:39Thank you so much!
21:40For our main course,
21:42we'll be having a turkey leg!
21:44Okay!
21:45Do you like turkey?
21:46Speaking of savory.
21:48There's more savory.
21:50It goes with your personality.
21:52Salty!
21:53There's a fly on mine.
21:55Yeah, you're going to want to take the flies off.
21:57That's for realism.
21:58Or if you want to add some extra crunch,
22:00they're there too.
22:01Oh!
22:02Here's the carnival.
22:03You got to be careful.
22:04The critters get out of the petting zoo all the time.
22:06Oh!
22:07Oh, no, he's stealing our nuts!
22:09Silly squirrel!
22:10Silly squirrel!
22:11Silly squirrel, get out!
22:12What's wrong with you?
22:13Silly squirrel, wait.
22:14Silly squirrel!
22:15Silly squirrel, get out!
22:16He ruined my decorations!
22:18Listen, let's be honest.
22:19That squirrel can have my nuts.
22:21Oh!
22:23I like that.
22:25Now let's tell each other our deepest, darkest secrets.
22:27Anitha, what's your deep, darkest secret?
22:30You want to know my deep, dark secret?
22:32You can kiss my tits!
22:33Oh!
22:34Oh, bitch!
22:37Oh, I forgot we have some special guests
22:39coming to take care of you.
22:40We do.
22:41We do have some special guests.
22:42Hold on, let's go get them.
22:43Let's go get them.
22:44Hold on.
22:45You ready?
22:46Ready.
22:47Oh!
22:48Howdy, y'all!
22:49Oh!
22:50Hi!
22:51Welcome to the carnival!
22:53Welcome to the carnival!
22:54Wow.
22:55You both look amazing.
22:57Thank you.
22:58We showered.
22:59We did shower, but I did forget to shave.
23:02Do you work here at this carnival?
23:04Yeah, we start the games here.
23:06You come around to this side of the table,
23:08and let's start playing.
23:10Wait, meatballs.
23:11Let's take these out.
23:12Mm.
23:13Oh.
23:15I can finally breathe.
23:17Do you need a sip of water, Meedi?
23:19I do.
23:20Open your mouth.
23:23Delicious!
23:25Yes, we're going to be playing eggplant toss.
23:28Ooh!
23:29Ooh!
23:30Have you ever tossed a ring on a phallic object before?
23:32I know I have.
23:33It's like Beyonce always says, gotta put a ring on it!
23:37Ah!
23:39Bianca, why don't you toss rings?
23:41Yay!
23:42Yay!
23:44All right, here we go.
23:47Yay!
23:48Bianca, you did it!
23:51Oh, my gosh!
23:52Bianca, you get a coconut.
23:53You get a wonderful coconut.
23:55And since you won, you get the pleasure of dunking me
24:00in our one and only dunk tank!
24:03Yay!
24:05I mean, they have thought of everything.
24:07Ah!
24:09Do you like getting wet?
24:11Do you like getting wild?
24:13So wild here at the dunk tank.
24:17It gets weird at the dunk tank.
24:20All right.
24:21And you underhand or overhand and hit this big red button.
24:29And if you dunk the bitch, she gets wet!
24:32Yay!
24:34Such thoughtful games.
24:36All right, since you won, you now get the coconut ball
24:39to throw in the dunk tank!
24:41Yay!
24:42Another game?
24:43I mean, you're so good.
24:45OK, OK, OK, what is the worst thing that could happen?
24:48The worst thing already did happen.
24:49You were born, bitch!
24:50Hey!
24:51Now, these are fighting words, because I'm going to get you
24:53in that water, even though I've already been to SeaWorld
24:55and seen a whale in this situation.
24:57Oh!
24:58You ready for this?
24:59Yeah, bitch.
25:00I'll tell you when.
25:01Are y'all ready?
25:02Yay!
25:04It's on.
25:07Oh!
25:08Oh my god!
25:10Yay!
25:11Oh!
25:12Oh my god!
25:14Oh my god!
25:15Oh!
25:16Oh my god!
25:18Oh, I'm all wet!
25:20Oh!
25:24We did it.
25:26Shit floats.
25:30But I kind of like it.
25:31Thanks for coming to our party, y'all.
25:33I hope you had a wonderful time.
25:35Give me a kiss on your way out the door.
25:37Mmm.
25:39You guys were great.
25:41Roll up, roll up.
25:43Our second party is coming right up.
25:46It's coming right up.
25:48♪ Drag me to dinner! ♪
25:51Thank you!
25:52Thank you so much.
25:53It was really disgusting.
25:54Anifa had a blast.
25:55Hup!
25:56Hup!
25:57Hup!
25:58Let's look straight ahead.
26:01Oh.
26:02Don't look down.
26:03Oh!
26:04See you at the party, Neil!
26:05Don't be late!
26:06Ugh!
26:07Ugh!
26:08Ugh!
26:09Ugh!
26:10It looks like it's time for tonight's second dinner party,
26:15starring Heckelina and Peach's Christ
26:18in Magical Freak Show!
26:21♪♪
26:24♪♪
26:27♪♪
26:30♪♪
26:33♪♪
26:36Handy Dan, is every detail perfect and ready for my party?
26:40As perfect as it can get.
26:42I think we're almost ready for our guests, then.
26:44Oh, where's Peaches?
26:45Oh, to hell with that bitch.
26:47Oh, I think that's them.
26:49Let them in.
26:50Hello!
26:52Oh, my God!
26:53Oh!
26:54Spooky!
26:55Welcome to my freak show.
26:58I have lots of wonderful magic to show you,
27:01and I'm going to get started by showing you
27:04the ugliest woman on Earth!
27:07Oh, God!
27:09That's not what we discussed at all.
27:11Oh, sorry, Peaches.
27:12Hi!
27:13Welcome to the party.
27:14Everybody, please have a seat.
27:16We have some of the witch's fingers,
27:18which are actually breadsticks.
27:20Oh!
27:21So just try one, please.
27:22Sure.
27:23I've been known to have a finger or two.
27:27To best enjoy these witch fingers,
27:29you might want to try my wacky little dips that I made here.
27:33Now, this is our cocktail.
27:34Oh, the cocktail.
27:35That would be helpful.
27:36Yes.
27:38And the piece de resistance is our feet loaf.
27:43Oh, nice.
27:44Oh!
27:45Oh, now I'm hungry.
27:46I think it's time to cut into the feet loaf.
27:49Okay.
27:50Would you please help me, honey Dan?
27:52Oh, God!
27:53Oh!
27:54Oh!
27:55Oh!
27:56Oh!
27:57Kaklita, what did you do?
27:59Don't worry about it, Peaches and my guests.
28:02It's an illusion.
28:03He's not really injured.
28:05Oh!
28:06Oh, God!
28:07Oh!
28:08Dan, are you okay?
28:09Dan, why don't you just leave the room for a minute?
28:12This way, sweetheart.
28:13Don't worry about it, everybody.
28:14It's just a little, uh, a nick.
28:16He nicked his arm a little bit.
28:17You know what's funny, Kaklita?
28:18Normally, the guy doesn't kill himself till he dates you.
28:21That's true.
28:22How clever.
28:23It's true.
28:24Look, I'm going to do another magic trick for you.
28:26Oh!
28:27Yay!
28:28I need a volunteer, which I'm going to choose.
28:31Hanifa!
28:32Hanifa!
28:33Hanifa loves tricks.
28:34Okay, I need somebody who's actually real-sized.
28:37She turns tricks.
28:38You bet I do!
28:39David, would you please be my volunteer?
28:41But before you stand up,
28:42I need you to tie your napkin to Neil's napkin.
28:46Oh, okay.
28:47I'll do it, I'll do it.
28:48Now, this trick comes about because, well,
28:50Kaklita and I did have a little bet going.
28:53We think there's a kinky side to you.
28:55Oh!
28:56Oh!
28:58Which we're going to find out right now.
29:00What?
29:01My lips are sealed.
29:03Okay.
29:04Now I need you to put both napkins,
29:06I hope you're okay with this,
29:08into David's pants.
29:10Oh!
29:11Lower, lower, lower.
29:13That's far enough.
29:14Now I need you to pull on one side of the...
29:16Okay.
29:17And I'll pull on this side.
29:18Okay.
29:19One, two, three, go.
29:21Oh!
29:23I was right.
29:24David wears a jockstrap.
29:26I see you're not very impressed with that trick, Bianca.
29:29How are the appetizers?
29:31Delightful.
29:32You need to get a good look at this feetloaf.
29:34And how convenient that you cut Dan's hand
29:36because you can see the barbecue sauce on the top.
29:39That's right.
29:40All right.
29:41Now, one of the things about attending a Midway
29:43is getting to see exotic rarities.
29:47We've seen your faces.
29:49Whoa!
29:50Oh, my God.
29:51Ha, ha, ha.
29:52Ha, ha, ha.
29:56This is very special.
29:59I give you the chicken centipede.
30:01This is one chick attached to another chick.
30:05Beak to anus.
30:07Wow.
30:08Oh, I think I saw that movie.
30:10Well, please put your foot in your mouth again, Bianca,
30:13because I'm about to show you the piece de resistance
30:17of my magic tricks tonight.
30:19More magic.
30:20More magic.
30:21I'm going to...
30:22Peaches, I'm gonna do this.
30:23I'm going to chop off Peaches' head in this guillotine.
30:29Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.
30:31Is this a real guillotine?
30:32It is, yeah, but I looked at it before,
30:34and I think I know how to operate it.
30:36You think you know.
30:37Okay, but you didn't even do the other trick correctly.
30:39You cut his arm.
30:40That was his fault.
30:41He got in the way, but I know what I'm doing.
30:43Okay, I just need you to get down on your knees.
30:46You're used to that.
30:47Oh, my God, this is impossible.
30:49Please put your head through that little slit.
30:51No, her neck will never fit in there.
30:53Ha, ha, ha.
30:55Are you comfortable, Peaches?
30:57I guess, but I really don't think we should do this.
30:59What could possibly go wrong?
31:00Let me just make sure everything's safe.
31:02It doesn't seem safe.
31:03You're not wearing goggles.
31:04I don't think we should do this.
31:06You know what, you guys?
31:07Maybe you're right.
31:08We didn't rehearse this, and we didn't discuss it.
31:09You're right.
31:10You guys are right.
31:11Okay, you know what?
31:12I'm just gonna forget this trick.
31:13No!
31:14No!
31:15Wowza!
31:16What the...
31:17It slipped out of my hand.
31:18I, um...
31:19Wait, uh...
31:20Isn't this fun, everybody?
31:23Oh, gosh.
31:24I killed Peaches Christ.
31:26I didn't mean to do it.
31:44Should we have a moment of silence in honor of Peaches dying?
31:48No, let's have dessert.
31:49Okay, that sounds good to me.
31:50Yeah, that'd be much better.
31:51All right.
31:52Far more filling.
31:53Is it peaches and cream?
31:55Is it peach cobbler?
31:58Peaches flambé?
32:00Peaches a la mode!
32:03Are you finished?
32:04Yeah, what is it?
32:05What is it, what is it, what is it?
32:06It was a little something I whipped up today.
32:08No big deal.
32:13You stupid cow.
32:14Heck, Lena, what were you thinking?
32:16You'll never get rid of me.
32:18Peaches, where is the dessert?
32:20Well, I got hungry.
32:22Oh, um, well, um...
32:24Ta-da!
32:26Yay!
32:28I love magic.
32:32And blackout.
32:37Find out which queens end up on top next.
32:42Drag me to dinner!
32:46Let's get judgy.
32:48All right, team, those were some parties tonight.
32:51Now, Neil, when you walked into Meatball and Bitch Puddin's party...
32:55I find it funny that you're laughing at Bitch Puddin,
32:57but that's a good drag name.
32:59They were hysterical.
33:01The entertainment, the multiple characters that they had
33:05made me laugh.
33:06I just enjoyed myself immensely.
33:08So, David, the food challenge, did they hit it?
33:10I think their food was fantastic.
33:12They did a really great job.
33:13Making a funnel cake is not the easiest thing to do,
33:16but taking it in a savory way with creme fraiche and caviar,
33:20you usually want something doughy and light and kind of bland
33:23to not overpower your caviar, so they did that.
33:26There was a giant shard of glass inside a piece of watermelon.
33:31I had no idea what that meant.
33:32I loved that they kept it in.
33:34Now, team, what about the outfits, huh?
33:36They gave us a second character, which I thought was pretty fabulous.
33:39The weird thing was, they're like,
33:40oh, my God, we changed our teeth, and I saw no difference.
33:43But it was entertaining,
33:45and I thought they actually paid attention to detail.
33:47I enjoyed it.
33:48So, Neil, you actually got up and interacted and played games.
33:51Did you enjoy that part of the party?
33:52It was fun to be interactive and get out away from the table,
33:55but I don't know.
33:56I feel like that was a bit of a missed opportunity for me.
33:59All right, Hanifa, what a circus we were part of tonight.
34:03Did you enjoy the party?
34:04Thanks, Murray, for asking me.
34:05Here's what I think about that party.
34:07It was big.
34:08What party did you go to?
34:10It was larger than life for her.
34:12All right.
34:13Now, gang, let's go to the magical freak show.
34:16With Heclina and Peach's Christ.
34:18Neil, did you enjoy that party, huh?
34:20I thought the queens were hilarious.
34:22I loved that they didn't really like each other so much.
34:26And so, this is a tough one for me,
34:28because I love magic, and I loved them.
34:30Bianca, what did you think of the feetloaf?
34:32The weird thing is that the smell of it, bear with me,
34:36was enjoyable, exciting,
34:38and I was like, all right, I'm ready to taste it.
34:41It brought savory morsels into my mouth.
34:43Bianca Del Rio.
34:44What?
34:45Are you trying to justify feetloaf
34:49as a dish at a party?
34:52That, by design, was a problem for me.
34:55Okay, okay, but listen.
34:57They were going for the spooky element.
34:59Thank you!
35:00So, I get that they wanted to do a carnivore's meal,
35:03but all of their sauces were just from a bottle.
35:06Oh, those are from a bottle?
35:07They were from a bottle.
35:08They didn't make homemade ranch or homemade barbecue sauce,
35:10so the thought of, like, actually doing things
35:13wasn't really there.
35:14I thought the skill set would be lacking,
35:16but it was highly entertaining.
35:18I mean, as I'm in the room, I'm going,
35:20you know what, they created an environment.
35:22They made it seem fun,
35:23and they were committed to what we're doing.
35:25Bianca, I hate to say this, but you sound happy.
35:32I loved the final magic trick of Peach's Christ,
35:36who had been decapitated, appearing as the dessert.
35:40Oh, my gosh.
35:41That was amazing.
35:42So, Hanifah, did you enjoy
35:43Hekalina and Peach's Christ party?
35:45I like freaks, and they were freaky.
35:49I don't know, it seems kind of close.
35:51You know, it's Marie.
35:52There was aspects of both that we enjoyed.
35:55Not me.
35:58All right, we're decided.
35:59Yeah.
36:00I think I know.
36:02Oh, my God, we're actually finally about to find out
36:05who won!
36:07Ladies, thank you for going all out
36:09and inviting us to your faith homes,
36:10serving us food, and scaring the sh-t out of us.
36:13And now, the moment you've all been waiting for,
36:16the greatest show queens,
36:18the winners of the glorious Golden Grader are...
36:28Uh-huh.
36:30Marie!
36:33Come on!
36:35Meatball and Biscuit!
36:40Cookie, you old hag!
36:41Oh, my God!
36:42Cookie!
36:43Oh, my God!
36:45Thank you, thank you so much!
36:47Oh, thank you so much!
36:49Oh, my God!
36:51Congratulations, queens.
36:53You're leaving with the coveted, glorious Golden Grader.
37:04I feel as though I've deserved nothing more in my life than this.
37:07I'm so happy to be here.
37:09I feel amazing.
37:10This is better than coupons.
37:12Yeah, I feel great and wet.
37:15Thanks for joining us.
37:16Enjoy the clown car we have waiting for you outside.
37:18Oh, the clown car!
37:20Yay!
37:21Party all over again!
37:26Ladies.
37:27Yeah, what?
37:28You were wonderful tonight.
37:29Oh, thank you.
37:30Yeah, thanks.
37:31You didn't win, but is there anything that you learned tonight?
37:34Well, first of all, I think it's appropriate they won a grader
37:36because they were beginning to grate on my nerves.
37:40I think we learned that, you know,
37:42we might not be the best at putting on dinner parties,
37:44but that's okay.
37:45Ladies, what an inspiration.
37:46You really turned it around.
37:48Thank you.
37:49Thank you so much.
37:50Wow.
37:51Well, you may not have won the trophy,
37:52but we want to give you the one thing everyone wants
37:54when they leave the circus.
37:56Your handy helper is in your dining room
37:58with a couple of balloons.
38:00So go join them in the circus.
38:01Oh, thank you.
38:03Oh, wow.
38:04Oh, thank you.
38:05So we get you?
38:06Is this my prize?
38:07That's it!
38:08Oh, thank you.
38:10Thanks so much for joining us here on Drag Me to Dinner,
38:13the unofficial, official three-ring circus of drag shows.
38:17I've been your host, Murray Hill,
38:19and if you're ever asked to work for Peanuts,
38:21check the contract.
38:23Neil, is mine done, actually?
38:25Not quite.
38:26I haven't signed anything.
38:27Soon, soon.
38:28Am I supposed to sign something?
38:29It happens soon.
38:30Or digital sign, is it?
38:31Either one, I have it done.
38:32Good night, pals.
38:38♪