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00:00And so they looked. And they kept looking. Oh, you've heard this. And they never found
00:13the finger.
00:14Neil, you know your captions are on.
00:19What? Oh, my captions are on. David, David, do you know how to turn these off?
00:24Sorry, I don't.
00:25Oh, they're off. No, they're back. What, what, what, what? I don't understand this.
00:34Why is it happening? Is this just me?
00:35Why didn't it happen for him? Why is it only happening for me? What's happening?
00:36Come join our parties, the living room sides. When two teams of drag queens compete for
01:01the prize. Who will be the winner? Drag me to dinner.
01:12Hey, greetings esteemed colleagues, revered guests, and a few folks I just can't remember
01:17their names. I'm your host, Murray Hill, and welcome to Drag Me to Dinner. This is the
01:23show where if you find a hair, it's probably synthetic, so don't swallow.
01:28Welcome to a world of imagination, where each episode, two teams of your favorite drag
01:33queens compete to throw the best, funniest, most drag-tastic-themed dinner parties of
01:38their lives in a show where nothing is quite as it seems. This is Drag Me to Dinner. These
01:47iconic queens will cook up fabulous food.
01:50You're going to lube it all up. Oh, wow.
01:54Delicious cocktails.
01:56Yum.
02:00Transform these ordinary rooms.
02:04Party time.
02:06Into fantastical party venues.
02:13And provide one night only entertainment for our judges. He's tall, light, and handsome-ish,
02:19the multi-talented Neil Patrick Harris.
02:23I'm going to be the man that calls the shots in this party.
02:27Meat and man-eater, drag superstar Bianca Del Rio.
02:32I know you're going to be shocked by this, but I'm a gay man.
02:34And our legitimate actress with an illegitimate sense of humor, the funny and fabulous Hanifa
02:39Wood.
02:40There were lots of wieners, it was meaty.
02:43And helping the queens is life of the party, David Berka.
02:47So let the good times roll.
02:50And only one team will reign supreme.
02:55And be awarded the glorious Golden Grader.
03:01And tonight, our queens take us back to the roaring, actually, make that roaring 20s.
03:07So let's meet tonight's teams.
03:12Hi, everybody, I am Vivi Dabene, and I am here with my lovely darling, the divilicious
03:18I'm so excited to be here.
03:21Hi, I'm Peaky Ball Change, the one and lonely.
03:25So thrilled and so excited to be making this dinner party with my wonderful good friend,
03:29Georgie Thor.
03:31Vivi and I have done several projects together, television and not.
03:39I love to host theme nights and game nights, Georgies.
03:43Here's the thing, here's the thing.
03:45Not everyone is as nasty, disgusting and perverse as Peaky Ball Change.
03:50Some people are worse.
03:55I'm just here to win, and I'm here to win at life.
03:58Thank you very much.
03:59Thank you.
04:02We're here to win because we are cooks and she decorates.
04:06And we are wieners.
04:08We win things.
04:09We win things.
04:10All the time.
04:12Get out here, ladies.
04:13Come on.
04:16Come on out.
04:25Wow.
04:26You look fantastic, and I saw that you're on your phone.
04:29Are you on one of the apps?
04:30I was talking to my mom.
04:31She's in the hospital.
04:35That's hilarious.
04:37She's screwing the doctor.
04:38I guess that's how you were born.
04:40That's how you were born.
04:42Trinity, where do you see yourself in five years?
04:45Probably on my second husband and running away with the pool boy.
04:50That sounds fantastic, and I hope I was your first husband.
04:53Now, Bebe, are you prepared to take down the other queens tonight?
04:58Which other queens?
04:59I thought we were the only queens here.
05:05Showbiz.
05:06Forgy, you're an icon.
05:08Enough said.
05:09Kiki ball change.
05:10Can I get a high kick from you?
05:12Of course.
05:16Are you okay?
05:17I don't want to hurt you.
05:18I wasn't sure what I was seeing.
05:19Okay.
05:20No dinner party would be complete without a fantastic theme,
05:23and here to give us the lowdown of tonight's theme
05:26is expert chef and the life of the party,
05:29David Berka.
05:36Hello, queens.
05:39Very handsome.
05:40May I say you all look like the cat's pajamas?
05:44You look great.
05:46Are we allowed to say that?
05:47Sure.
05:48And I'm sure you've guessed tonight's theme is the whoring 20s.
05:55That's you.
05:56And, queens, don't forget,
05:58the judges will be keeping their eyes on food and drink,
06:03design and decor, and entertainment and overall vibe.
06:06I would love to see you honor this era
06:08with perhaps a delightful gin drink
06:10or something decadent like oysters, caviar or smoked salmon.
06:14And, of course, we're giving you two handy helpers
06:17who are able to assist in whatever you need.
06:20So let the good times roll.
06:24It'll be fun.
06:25Okay, ladies,
06:26this is your big moment to sparkle for our judges.
06:29And if you do,
06:30you'll be showered with fantastic prizes like these.
06:34A baby bottle full of babies.
06:36A nut sack.
06:37Tuck tape.
06:38A Cher cootery board.
06:40A bathtub of butter.
06:42Oh, Dehairy Styles.
06:4455 gallons of lube.
06:46A high-five from Bianca Del Rio herself.
06:48All the crackers you can carry.
06:50And the grandest prize of them all,
06:53the glorious Golden Grater,
06:56because one team is great,
06:58but the other is greater.
07:01Wow!
07:02Wow!
07:03All right, this is my favorite part.
07:05Let's start the clock and release the quiz!
07:11Go to your places!
07:12Oh!
07:13You have 90 minutes to go.
07:15That way.
07:17Oh!
07:18Well, I made it.
07:19Wonderful dismount, I gotta say.
07:21Thank you.
07:22Okay, pouring 20s.
07:23So I'm thinking 1920s.
07:24You know, everyone's rich and drunk.
07:26Like luxury.
07:27Candelabras.
07:28Uh-huh.
07:29Chandeliers.
07:30Okay.
07:31Ostrich feathers.
07:33Sounds like a drag queen party.
07:35Mm-mm-mm-mm.
07:36What if we do a speakeasy?
07:37Like, you had to know, like, a password to get in.
07:40Murder mystery.
07:41Maybe we kill a couple of people.
07:42Instead of it being sickening, it's gonna be just...
07:44And we're just...
07:45I like the idea.
07:46That would be a...
07:47Oh!
07:48Are you okay, girl?
07:49Are you okay?
07:50These two girls, they know drag.
07:51Trinity, she's been around for a while.
07:54Royalty.
07:55Royalty, yes.
07:56You know, Bebe has her own design company.
07:57What?
07:58Yeah, I can't say that they know their way around a kitchen.
08:00But...
08:01Well, I think they'll figure it out.
08:02Um, okay.
08:03Kiki Balchange is a Broadway girl,
08:05so she's quite a dancer,
08:06and she's a staple of New York theater.
08:08You think she's gonna use that as part of the talent?
08:10I hope so.
08:11Kiki saw Thorgy Thor on television
08:14and was inspired by Thorgy to be a drag queen,
08:17and now they're paired up together.
08:19Okay, so cocktails.
08:20Okay, so gin.
08:21With prohibition.
08:22Love it.
08:23So why don't we have a bathtub...
08:25of gin?
08:26I want to make out with you right now.
08:27Okay, let's do it.
08:30Absinthe.
08:31We can make people absolutely crazy insane.
08:33Hallucinating.
08:34Passing out.
08:35Going to the hospital.
08:36What are you thinking for a cocktail?
08:37I wasn't born back then.
08:39Why are you looking at me?
08:40Gin probably goes with anything, right?
08:43So I'm thinking, like, orange juice.
08:45I want blackberries in there.
08:47Berrygasm cocktail.
08:54I like that.
08:57This is so serious.
08:58We have to win.
08:59Okay, what else?
09:00We need food.
09:01Let's do, like, appetizers.
09:02Let's do, like, um...
09:03How about, like, a little sandwich?
09:04Like a pinwheel?
09:05Like a salmon, a pinwheel sandwich.
09:07So I'm thinking, like, oysters.
09:09Oysters, Rockefeller.
09:11Oysters, Rockefeller.
09:13You're a nasty son of a bitch.
09:14I am, but you know what?
09:15I love it.
09:16We need a feast.
09:17Lots of big meat.
09:19I like that.
09:20I'm thinking a pork crowned roast.
09:23Okay.
09:24Do you need a recipe for that?
09:25I think so.
09:26Oh, okay.
09:27We need some sautéed vegetables.
09:29Okay.
09:30And we're gonna grill some shrimp.
09:31Shrimp is very rich.
09:32Shrimp is rich.
09:33Also, we need oysters.
09:35They're an aphrodisiac,
09:36and I'm looking to get lucky.
09:40Drag queens, you know,
09:41are always asked to do all kinds of stuff,
09:43but never really cook.
09:45No.
09:46I mean, you think that they know
09:47decor and design and all that.
09:48Of course.
09:49But, like, cooking is a...
09:50You've got to have technique.
09:51You've got to know your way around.
09:53It's not something you can just, like...
09:54It's like woodworking.
09:55Like, I'm not a woodworker, but...
09:56Oh, I know a lot about wood.
10:00Bitch, we need some helpers.
10:01Helpers!
10:02Do we have some helpers here?
10:07Oh, wow.
10:10You'll do.
10:11Oh, you need love, too.
10:12Oh.
10:13Yes.
10:14Ooh.
10:15Yes.
10:16It's okay.
10:17It's okay.
10:18Okay, wait.
10:19Here they come!
10:20This is...
10:21This is...
10:22I'm not gonna see you.
10:23Come on in.
10:24You met my son?
10:25You met my whore friend, Kiki?
10:26Yes.
10:29Never read the comments.
10:30What?
10:31What happened?
10:32Neil Patrick Harris is so pasty white,
10:34you can practically see through him.
10:36Oh, don't read them.
10:38Don't even pay attention to it.
10:39It's just phantom people that don't know you.
10:42Neil Patrick Harris' husband, David, is so handsome.
10:45What is he doing with Neil?
10:48My queens!
10:49You have 45 minutes left!
10:51What?
10:52Oh, my God.
10:53In that time, you have to complete your food and drinks,
10:55decorate your rooms,
10:56and decide how you're gonna entertain the judges.
10:59The clock is ticking, so snap to it!
11:02Chap-chap!
11:03Can you bring me that big slab of meat over there?
11:06Hmm.
11:09Ooh!
11:10Oh.
11:11That's a very large thing of meat.
11:13Ooh!
11:14Oh.
11:15Oh.
11:16Oh.
11:17It's like a bracelet.
11:20Are you sure you know what you're doing?
11:22Um, yeah.
11:24I think this is pepper.
11:26Oh, not too much.
11:27I like...
11:28That might be too spicy for the guests.
11:30Here, you do a little salt.
11:34Perfect.
11:35We're gonna make pinwheel sandwiches,
11:38so we're gonna need one slice of cucumber.
11:41Okay.
11:42And then what you want to put in there is fresh salmon,
11:45and we have cheese to hold it all together.
11:47It is beautiful, it is glamorous,
11:49and she is giving it to you.
11:51This is our herb paste for our crown pork.
11:54Why am I chopping this? We have a blender.
11:57Let me help you.
11:58Yes.
11:59Okay.
12:01My grandmother taught me how to cook.
12:03Protein.
12:04Are the shells in there?
12:06What are y'all doing over there?
12:07We're cooking. What does that look like?
12:09Okay.
12:10Do you have eggshells in your blender?
12:12Mind your business!
12:13It helps with the flavor.
12:18It smells very earthy.
12:20Mm-hmm.
12:21Okay.
12:22I'm gonna pour this in there.
12:24Oh!
12:26Oh!
12:28Decadence.
12:29Don't eat that.
12:34Neil Patrick Harris?
12:35More like Neil Fat-trick Harris.
12:37Ooh!
12:41Well, the camera does add 10 pounds.
12:42On you.
12:44You have 30 minutes to go!
12:47Let's make a drink.
12:48We're gonna start with gin.
12:50Ooh.
12:51Not too much, not too much.
12:52More.
12:53Just a little bit more.
12:54Okay.
12:55See, that's a drag pour.
12:56Definitely think orange juice.
12:58Add cranberry.
12:59I don't know if it's gonna taste well,
13:00but just like...
13:01Organic?
13:02The berries.
13:03The berries.
13:04Just drop that...
13:06You wanna do it? You wanna crush it?
13:07We should do it.
13:08Just think about,
13:09we're crushing the competition!
13:10I like it. It's very mushy.
13:11Yes.
13:12Okay.
13:15Mm.
13:16Damn, that's good!
13:17Damn, that's strong!
13:22Neil Patrick Harris looks like he smells like pee.
13:29I wrote that one.
13:32Get out.
13:36Ten minutes, ladies!
13:38What?!
13:39Wait!
13:40Make the oysters Rockefeller.
13:41Onions!
13:42We need to cut lots and lots of onions.
13:43Got it.
13:44Oh, it's burning, it's burning!
13:45Did you make the sauce?
13:46I think you strained the shrimp.
13:47Queens!
13:48I'm gonna ask you a trivia question.
13:54Oh!
13:55The first team who shouts out the correct answer
13:57will get an extra hand from our resident expert,
14:01David Berka.
14:02Oh!
14:03I know my trivia.
14:04And the other team will get an assist
14:06from sous chef, David's aunt.
14:08Got it.
14:09Ladies, are you ready for the question?
14:11Yeah, bring it on!
14:12In what country
14:14was the first in-home refrigerator sold?
14:18England!
14:19The United States!
14:20No!
14:21Canada!
14:22No!
14:23Alaska!
14:24No!
14:25Cameroon!
14:26Mexico!
14:27Tennessee!
14:28France!
14:29Australia!
14:30I'm gonna give you a clue.
14:32Starts with an S.
14:33South America!
14:34Seattle!
14:35Sweden!
14:36Sweden!
14:37It's me!
14:38I wrote this one!
14:39It's me!
14:40They said Sweden.
14:41They didn't say Sweden?
14:42They didn't say Sweden.
14:43It's time to get a special tip from David.
14:46All right, ladies!
14:47Let's do this!
14:48Woo!
14:49Okay.
14:50I need your help.
14:51You guys are looking pretty good.
14:52Yes.
14:53What are you guys missing right now?
14:54What are the elements?
14:55Okay, so the next thing's with,
14:56because we're making oysters rockefeller, right?
14:57Yes.
14:58So on top of the oysters.
14:59On top of the oysters,
15:00and you're gonna pop them in the oven.
15:01We're missing lemons,
15:02and we're missing pecorino cheese.
15:03Okay, great.
15:04That looks great.
15:05Okay, I think that you're gonna wanna go
15:06a little smaller on the onion
15:07because they wanna fit onto it.
15:08All right, guys, good luck.
15:09You guys are gonna kill it.
15:10Thanks, David.
15:11Okay, well done.
15:12Thank you.
15:13Hey, I need some help.
15:14Sue, shut this hair.
15:15Uh-oh, it's Sue Chef.
15:16Let me help you guys out.
15:17No!
15:18No!
15:19Get him, Sue!
15:20Get him, Sue!
15:21Get him, Sue!
15:22Get him, Sue!
15:23Get him, Sue!
15:24You need some smash some berry.
15:25You need this!
15:26You stupid bitch!
15:27Ma'am.
15:28Ma'am.
15:29Ma'am.
15:30Excuse me, ma'am.
15:31Ma'am.
15:32Ma'am.
15:33Ma'am.
15:34Ma'am.
15:35Ma'am.
15:36Ma'am.
15:37Ma'am.
15:38Ma'am.
15:39Ma'am.
15:40Ma'am.
15:41Ma'am.
15:42You're making a big mistake!
15:43You're making a big mistake!
15:44I'm trying to help him!
15:45I'm trying to help him!
15:46Sue.
15:47Queens, you have five minutes to go!
15:48Oh, my god.
15:49I'm gonna go look in the oven.
15:50Okay.
15:51Okay.
15:52The horseradish.
15:53We forgot about the horseradish.
15:54Oh, what?
15:55Everything.
15:56Check the roast.
15:57Okay, I will.
15:58Hold on.
15:59Okay.
16:00Stop eating!
16:01I'm hungry.
16:02Oh, my god!
16:03Okay, okay, okay.
16:04Okay, okay, okay.
16:05Okay, okay, okay.
16:06Okay, okay, okay.
16:07Okay, okay, okay.
16:08Okay, okay, okay.
16:09Okay, okay, okay.
16:10Oh, my God!
16:11Grab the strawberry!
16:13Strawberry!
16:14Where's the paprika, damn it?
16:16I need the paprika!
16:17Oh, my God!
16:18Where's the paprika?
16:19Is it in here?
16:21You have to be inside the rooms
16:23when the curtains close.
16:25Wow, look how gorgeous it is.
16:26Lance!
16:27Oh, the roast.
16:28And that's happening in 30 seconds.
16:31Just throw it!
16:32Kiki!
16:33I'm trying!
16:34It's hot, and I'm in heels.
16:35Grab our meat!
16:37Grab your food. Grab the food.
16:38Grab the food?
16:39Wait, it's gonna...
16:40Oh, my God.
16:41This is hot.
16:42It's gonna burn the table.
16:43Hold on, wait.
16:44Hold on.
16:45Okay.
16:46Fifteen seconds!
16:47The oysters!
16:48Ten, nine...
16:49The oysters!
16:50...eight, seven...
16:51Oh, my God.
16:52...six, five, four, three, two, one!
16:53Time's up, queens!
16:54We did it.
16:55We did it.
16:56We did it.
16:57We did it.
16:58We did it.
16:59We did it.
17:00We did it.
17:01We did it.
17:02We did it.
17:03We did it.
17:04We did it.
17:05We did it.
17:06We did it.
17:07We did it.
17:08We did that.
17:09Oh, my God, that was insane.
17:11That was crazy.
17:12All right.
17:13These queens have done all they can,
17:15and now they better get ready to host
17:17because it's party time!
17:20Oh.
17:21Oh.
17:22Oh.
17:23Oh.
17:24Oh.
17:25Oh.
17:26Oh.
17:27Oh.
17:28Oh.
17:29Oh.
17:30Oh.
17:31Oh.
17:32Oh.
17:33Oh.
17:34Oh.
17:35Oh.
17:36Oh.
17:37Oh.
17:38Oh.
17:39Oh.
17:40Oh.
17:41Oh.
17:42Oh.
17:43Oh.
17:44Oh.
17:45Oh.
17:46Oh.
17:47Oh.
17:48Oh.
17:49Oh.
17:50Oh.
17:51Oh.
17:52Oh.
17:53Oh.
17:54Oh.
17:55Oh.
17:56Oh.
17:57Oh.
17:58Oh.
17:59Oh.
18:00Oh.
18:01Oh.
18:02Oh.
18:03Oh.
18:04Oh.
18:05Oh.
18:06She queens, and she scares the shit out of me.
18:08She's the iconic Bianca Del Rio!
18:11Ha ha ha! Hello, Murray!
18:14And I'm at you, too.
18:15My a** is just as pink as that bow tie.
18:18Oh.
18:19One, two, three, four, five, six.
18:22And this guy more than dabbles in magic, Broadway,
18:26and now in drag cooking shows.
18:28It's Neil Patrick Harris!
18:30Hey, thanks, Murray.
18:31I'll tell you, these queens sure bring the shade,
18:33but you, sir, bring the shades.
18:36Oh, God.
18:39Line!
18:42Now it's time to see what our queens have in store for us
18:44at tonight's first boring 20s parties.
18:47All right, pals, head backstage. I'll see you in a minute.
18:50Have fun!
18:51Go ahead, get out of here!
18:53These ladies shucked and stuffed,
18:56and quite honestly, I'm surprised the building
18:58hasn't been burned down yet.
19:00Let's start our first dinner party with Trinity the Tuck
19:03and Bebe Zahara Banay in Whoredunit!
19:19Oh, Bebe baby.
19:20Oh, darling.
19:21Before they get here, let's go look at ourselves.
19:23Oh, we must.
19:24Yes, yes. Thank you.
19:25Oh, my goodness.
19:27The face.
19:28The body.
19:29Oh, look.
19:30Oh, they're here. They're here.
19:31Quickly. Yes. Okay.
19:33Hold on, hold on, hold on.
19:34Hello!
19:35Hi!
19:36Oh, hi.
19:37Welcome.
19:38Thank you for coming.
19:39Nice to meet you.
19:40Thank you.
19:41Take your time. There you go.
19:42Thank you.
19:43Let's get some cocktails.
19:44Wow.
19:45Boys?
19:46Oh, we're making a toast.
19:47Okay.
19:48To old friends.
19:49Old.
19:50Old.
19:51Not old or your friend.
19:57I want us to talk more about this spread we have on the table.
20:02Well, this amazing delicacy right there in front of Bianca
20:06is a large slab of meat.
20:08Let the spices and flavor really blend in your mouth and your tongue.
20:12You can tell from my face, I don't know how to blend.
20:14I actually have a beautiful makeup artist.
20:16Really?
20:17Mm-hmm.
20:18Why don't you use him today?
20:19Yes, thank you.
20:23May I have just a singular potato?
20:26You guys not eating?
20:27Oh, yes.
20:28Yes, we are.
20:29Actually, put it in your mouth.
20:30Yeah.
20:31Yeah.
20:36What was that?
20:37I don't chew my own food.
20:39Is it less calories that way?
20:40It is.
20:41No one has tried their oysters.
20:43I have.
20:44I did.
20:45Would you like an oyster?
20:46Oh, absolutely not.
20:47Oh, please.
20:48We've all had one.
20:49Have an oyster.
20:50Eat one.
20:51You must.
20:52Put it in your mouth.
20:53You really, really must.
20:54I will have one.
20:56Dan?
20:57Okay, there you go, Dan.
20:58You first.
21:00Put the oyster...
21:01Oh, my God.
21:02Ready?
21:03Mm-hmm.
21:04Sister, you can do it.
21:05No.
21:06You've done worse.
21:07Oh, my God.
21:11Oh, is it happening?
21:15Oh!
21:17I'm sorry.
21:18Usually, I don't swallow.
21:19Darling, who wants some dessert?
21:21We have a beautiful vagina cake.
21:24I got a vagina cake, too.
21:26Let me ask you two.
21:28Have you ever ate vagina before?
21:30Oh, I was a big fan of vagina when I was younger.
21:32What happened?
21:33It soured to me a little bit.
21:35Oh.
21:36Oh.
21:37Someone tell me something.
21:39Oh, oh, oh.
21:40You didn't pay your bills.
21:41Oh.
21:42Oh.
21:43What's going on?
21:44Oh!
21:45Oh!
21:46Oh!
21:47Oh!
21:48Oh!
21:49Oh!
21:50Oh!
21:51Normally, I like a warm body on me,
21:53but not a cold one.
21:55Oh!
21:56Oh, no.
21:58It's all right.
21:59I was once a doctor.
22:01Oh.
22:02Oh.
22:03He's dead.
22:04He's dead.
22:05No!
22:06Who could have done that?
22:08It definitely wasn't one of us.
22:14All right, it's true.
22:16Edmund's not just a stable boy.
22:18He's also my twin brother.
22:20And it is true that he hated Dan,
22:22and Dan hated him,
22:23but I couldn't have done it.
22:24I was canoodling in a canoe
22:26on the creek with Hanifa all afternoon.
22:28Oh.
22:29Wow.
22:30It's true.
22:31I was with Dan,
22:33but he just braided my hair for my family reunion
22:35in the parlor.
22:37And although I was canoodling with Neil,
22:39I did not kill that man.
22:41I was in the magenta trees
22:43with Radio.
22:47It's true.
22:49I was having an affair with Dan.
22:51He had a very impressive helping hand.
22:53Oh.
22:56I couldn't have done it.
22:58I was in the solarium sunning with the stable boy.
23:00Edmund?
23:01I have a type.
23:02Wow.
23:03Yes!
23:04It's true, I know Dan.
23:05Because just like him,
23:06I work here on the housekeeping staff
23:08at the farm.
23:09I have cleaned the canoe.
23:11I have wiped the stable.
23:13And I've seen your bajeen tree.
23:15I would never kill a man.
23:16I'd beat a bitch,
23:17but not kill a man.
23:18I know who it is.
23:20I know who it was.
23:22Who is it, and who was it?
23:26Bianca!
23:28No!
23:29Yes, it was her.
23:30I would have never killed a useless go-go boy.
23:32Sidebar, they're never useless,
23:33they're always entertaining.
23:34But the point is,
23:35I would never kill anyone.
23:36It could not have been me.
23:37It would never have been me.
23:38I don't kill people.
23:39It was her.
23:40It was her.
23:41I didn't do it.
23:42If the gloves don't fit,
23:43you must acquit.
23:44No!
23:45It was you.
23:46Oh!
23:47I can't believe it.
23:48Was anybody surprised?
23:50Oh, my God.
23:51It's so hard.
23:52Oh, my God.
23:53Oh, my God.
23:54It's so hard, sis.
23:56Wait.
23:57Wait, we got to do the toast.
23:59Blackout?
24:00We still have a whole bit to do.
24:02It's coming back up.
24:05Yes, here's a toast to finding out
24:07who the killer was.
24:09Thank gosh that rotten bitch is gone.
24:18Thirsty.
24:19I'm so thirsty.
24:21Are you okay, sister?
24:24Are you okay?
24:26She's choking.
24:27Normally, I don't choke at all, ever.
24:29I normally don't, but...
24:36Oh, no.
24:38Oh, no.
24:42What happened?
24:54Are we doing this again?
24:55Yeah, we got it.
24:57Don't go anywhere,
24:58because our second party is next.
25:05Bye, thanks again.
25:06Bye, Dan.
25:07Sorry we killed your friend.
25:16And now for our second party of the night,
25:18Thorgy Thor and Kiki Ballchase.
25:21Oh, you can eat a legal brothel inside.
25:38Everyone quiet.
25:39Shh.
25:40Quiet, quiet.
25:41Is it the police?
25:42I don't know.
25:43Or is it our guests?
25:44It might be.
25:45Let's see.
25:46Hello?
25:47Hello?
25:48Um, is this where the party is?
25:50Uh-huh.
25:51What's the password?
25:53Um...
25:54Bottoms up?
25:56That works for me.
25:57Yeah, sure, it sounds good.
25:59Welcome.
26:00Oh, hello.
26:01Hi.
26:02How are you?
26:03You look amazing.
26:04Thank you.
26:05We have to be very quiet,
26:06because this is a speakeasy.
26:08Right.
26:09We're not allowed to drink.
26:10Okay.
26:11It's the 20s.
26:12Right.
26:13Okay.
26:14Shh, quiet.
26:15Shut up.
26:16Quiet.
26:17Who is it?
26:18Tina Turner.
26:19Tina Turner.
26:20That's kind of fierce.
26:21Tina.
26:22Oh, it's not Tina.
26:23Well, come on in anyway.
26:24Come on.
26:25Thank you.
26:26Oh, this is great.
26:27Wow.
26:28Thank you for having us.
26:29Of course.
26:30This is so wonderful.
26:31Quiet.
26:32Hey, hey, hey, girl.
26:33You're wound up more than a Victrola.
26:35Okay, well, welcome to our wonderful,
26:36glorious, glamorous party.
26:37We're starting it off with some absinthe,
26:39so don't worry, we have you covered.
26:41So before you start with our homemade bathtub gin,
26:44we have to start with the absinthe.
26:46Kiki, do you have your psychotropic medicine?
26:49Yeah.
26:50To hallucinating all night long.
26:52Cheers.
26:55I love this party.
26:57Wait, what?
27:02Yes, yes, yes.
27:04Wait, what?
27:07You know, I thought that drink was offensive,
27:09and then I just saw your faces.
27:11Oh, gosh.
27:12Wow, we have so many guests tonight.
27:14I mean, welcome to our brothel.
27:16We have some rules here at our house parties.
27:19You might have noticed there are pieces of paper on your plates.
27:23Yeah.
27:24What is this?
27:25It's a piece of paper.
27:27Oh.
27:28So if you don't eat it yet, that's not part of the course.
27:31Each one of our guests is going to get a stupid phrase,
27:34and whoever says this phrase the most
27:37throughout the entire dinner wins
27:39to sleep with Kiki at the end of the evening.
27:41So whether it's a punishment or a bonus,
27:43I don't know.
27:44I'm good.
27:47So everyone look at your word,
27:50and do not tell anybody else.
27:52Keep this word to yourself,
27:54and try and work it into every phrase
27:56for the rest of the evening.
28:05I love what you've done with the plates.
28:07Thank you.
28:08Yeah, you turned it around really fast.
28:10A pair of dirty tights really does the trick.
28:12It makes all the difference.
28:13It matches the dirty shoe that we're drinking out of.
28:16Mm, delicious.
28:17Mm.
28:18Wow.
28:19And I hope everyone's enjoying their French 69s that we've made.
28:22I love a good French 69.
28:24I can give you something else that's French later, Neil.
28:29What are we eating?
28:30Who cares about what we're eating?
28:31Let's keep drinking, because I am on a toot.
28:33So what we have on the table here,
28:35we made some oysters,
28:37f*** the feller.
28:38And we also have shrimp cocktail.
28:41Oh!
28:42Well, you gotta know your onions.
28:44I'm more of a cake eater,
28:46but I will have some of the shrimp cocktail.
28:49Oh, is that right?
28:50Oh, yes!
28:52Sha-boing-boing!
28:54You know what, I'll pass it around,
28:55because I want to stand up and show everyone.
28:57Don't I look gorgeous?
28:58Gorgeous.
28:59Doesn't my number one money-making whore,
29:01my brothel, look gorgeous tonight?
29:03She looks amazing, yeah.
29:04Well, you gotta know your onions.
29:06You do.
29:08Excuse me.
29:09Excuse me.
29:10My chair seems to have dropped.
29:12Do you have a lap I could sit on?
29:14Oh, yeah, of course.
29:15You can sit right here.
29:16Oh, thank you.
29:17How kind.
29:22You are on a toot right now.
29:24This leg is so stiff.
29:25Oh, and so hard.
29:28Would anybody like a cucumber sandwich with salmon?
29:31Uh, yeah.
29:32We need a palate cleanser.
29:33What kind of water?
29:35You know, I think I've had a little too much gigawater.
29:38I think, um, it's a little warm in here, don't you think?
29:41Of course it is.
29:42It's full of wood nickels.
29:43Yes.
29:44I don't know.
29:45Should I take off my coat?
29:46Yeah, why not?
29:47I'm a little nervous for all new people to meet.
29:55The guests are waiting, Kiki.
29:56Oh.
29:57Oh.
29:58Yes.
29:59Yes.
30:00Yes.
30:01Yes.
30:02Yes.
30:03Yes.
30:04That's the experience.
30:05Yes.
30:06Wow.
30:07Oh.
30:08Wow.
30:09Oh.
30:10All that from silicone.
30:12And Climax, just from taking off her coat.
30:15That was my special party trick.
30:17I hope you enjoyed it.
30:18Oh.
30:19Give it up for Kiki.
30:20Thank you.
30:21Thank you.
30:22And I think it's time in the evening that we do a little performance, a little entertainment for you.
30:26This better be good, because I don't want to lose my buzz.
30:28I'm on a toot.
30:29Keep your mouth shut.
30:30Five, four, three.
30:32Wooden nickel.
30:33Two, one.
30:37Hey.
30:38Get your tits out.
30:39Oh.
30:40Oh my goodness.
30:41Oh.
30:42Oh.
30:43Oh.
30:44Oh.
30:45Oh.
30:46Oh.
30:47Oh.
30:48Oh.
30:49Yes.
30:50Oh.
30:51Oh.
30:52Oh.
30:53They're fearless.
30:54Yeah.
30:55Must be on a toot.
30:56Oh.
30:57Oh.
30:58Oh.
30:59Oh.
31:00Oh.
31:01Oh.
31:02Oh.
31:03Oh.
31:04Oh.
31:05Oh.
31:06Oh!
31:08Oh!
31:10Oh!
31:12Oh!
31:14Oh!
31:16Oh!
31:18Oh!
31:20Oh!
31:22Go, grab her! Go in here!
31:24Go, grab her, you can't! Go, just go!
31:26I'll take the plan!
31:28Oh! Grab whatever you can!
31:30Just go! Just go!
31:32I'll take the plan! Just go!
31:34I got a trim! Go!
31:38What the hell? This is a set, I can go this way!
31:46Is that all in that stupid game?
31:52Find out which queens are the greatest, next!
31:56Drag me to dinner!
32:00Let's get judgy!
32:02Alright gang, our first party was Trinity and Bebe in Poor Dennet.
32:08I loved this party, and I thought it was classy, it was a fun story.
32:12I liked that they were too cool for school and didn't want to move a finger.
32:18I loved the fact that Trinity was not able to even chew her own food.
32:22And that Dan had to spit the food into her mouth.
32:27I don't know that I've ever laughed so much, I had a great time.
32:29And Eva, what did you think?
32:31Listen, the decorations were perfect, that red theme, the dresses that they had on.
32:35Also, their background, the fact that I could see the Vagenta bush from inside of the party.
32:41It was a tree.
32:43Okay, the Vagenta tree, I mean that made everything kind of special, right?
32:46I think also that their food was delicious.
32:49The seasonings of the pork was just a masterpiece.
32:54I ate more than one piece, that's how delicious it was.
32:58It's always lovely to go to a party where people you know.
33:01And I was there and I knew these two old haggard queens.
33:04I must say, I didn't want to like them, but I thought to see Trinity in that light.
33:09Interesting, because she just had surgery.
33:12But it was moving.
33:14Her face was moving?
33:15No, her face wasn't moving, just the moment in the evening was.
33:19What about the second party?
33:21Thorgy and Kiki ball-chains in the illegal brothel.
33:24Neil, what did you think?
33:25I was thinking, well, clearly we have a winner.
33:27I walked into this speakeasy that I thought was fully realized.
33:31The aesthetic was great.
33:33They played up the element of sex appeal with the absinthe being poured.
33:37I was surprised at how much I enjoyed that second party.
33:41I think basically what you just said, that you were drunk.
33:44The absinthe didn't hurt.
33:46Got it.
33:47All right, Hanifah, what did you think?
33:49Now that was a party.
33:54I had a blast.
33:57I loved the game, that was really fun.
33:59I loved your onions, I loved your wooden nickel and your toot.
34:02I didn't like that so much.
34:04Bitch, you're going to be tooting after those deviled eggs.
34:06I'm just saying, so embrace the toot.
34:08I ate good and I felt good.
34:10I had fun.
34:11I also wanted to say, I could relate to Kiki.
34:14She was spreading her whore wings, and I too want to spread my whore wings.
34:18When?
34:20Shoot, right now.
34:22Viagra, Thorgy, and Kiki.
34:24What did you think?
34:25We got in.
34:26We were there for the party.
34:27I was up for the sugar cube.
34:28I was even up for the gym, till I saw that Payless shoe.
34:32That dirty shoe in the gym.
34:35And listen, I drank it.
34:37Because what?
34:38I'm part of the team, and that's what it's about.
34:40David, what did you think about the oysters?
34:43Oysters are a tricky ingredient to work with,
34:45but I think that both teams did a really good job.
34:49But Trinity and Bebe, their oyster, it wasn't that great.
34:52But on the other side, with Thorgy and Kiki,
34:55their oysters Rockefeller is something that you don't necessarily get all the time.
35:00Taking onions and spinach and pecorino cheese and baking an oyster,
35:04it was delicious.
35:05They really made that.
35:06No, I know.
35:07I thought that was very flavorful and about the time.
35:10That was a really authentic 1920s dish.
35:14Well, kids, you both went to two parties,
35:17and I think we have a winner.
35:20It's a close one, but I think you might be right.
35:22Oh, God, who's it going to be?
35:25Oh, my God, we're actually finally about to find out who won.
35:29Ladies, thank you for hosting a dinner party
35:31that most likely gave everyone food poisoning.
35:34Good times.
35:35And while each of you gave us a whore-on good time,
35:38only one team will walk out of here with a glorious golden grater.
35:44And now,
35:46the queens who threw the best party are...
35:59Thorgy and Kiki!
36:03Oh, my God!
36:07The best queens!
36:11Thank you very much.
36:12Ladies, you're also leaving with a glorious golden grater.
36:18Oh, my God.
36:19It's heavy.
36:20Oh, my God.
36:21Finally, for the first time ever, I won.
36:23Ladies, what are you feeling right now?
36:25I can't wait to grate something.
36:27I just feel really horny.
36:29Wow.
36:30Me too.
36:31Ladies, thanks for joining us,
36:33and now I'm sure your fans are waiting for you to sign autographs.
36:36Now get out of here.
36:37And, Thorgy, maybe some water or some coffee?
36:40Cold shower, maybe?
36:41No, thank you.
36:42Let's go.
36:45All right.
36:46Well, ladies, I thought you did great tonight,
36:48but, hey, better luck next time, okay?
36:50Thank you.
36:51Let's go look at our faces.
36:53Thanks so much for being our virtual dinner guests tonight
36:56on Drag Me to Dinner.
36:58You've clearly binged all of Handmaid's Tale
37:00and needed a palate cleanser.
37:02I've been your host, Murray Hill.
37:04And never forget,
37:05just because you're good at being a whore in the 20s
37:08doesn't mean you can't also be a good cook.
37:11Oh, wait a minute.
37:12We never found out who done it.
37:20I done it.
37:22Ha, ha, ha, ha.
37:24Good night, pals.