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00:00I don't know what will.
00:01Let the dinner party begin!
00:02We came here to serve.
00:03And the food is only one aspect.
00:04Oh!
00:05Yoga party.
00:064A20s.
00:07Baby shower.
00:08Carnival.
00:09Do you have eggshells in your blender?
00:10Mind your business.
00:11I didn't come here to make friends.
00:32I came here to make dinner.
00:33Party!
00:34I got a weenie.
00:35Awkward.
00:36Throw a damn party.
00:37Why are there more babies at this baby shower?
00:38Next thing you know, you're going to tell me that you're men.
00:39Best party ever.
00:40Guys, guys, guys.
00:41Huddle up.
00:42We're about to shoot the first episode of Drag Me to Dinner, the best show about dueling
00:46parties thrown by pairs of drag queens that the world has ever known.
00:50I think it's the only show.
00:52Murray.
00:53Yeah, buddy?
00:54I think it's the only show.
00:55Murray.
00:56Yeah, buddy?
00:57I think it's the only show.
00:58Murray.
00:59Yeah, buddy?
01:00I think it's the only show.
01:01Murray.
01:02Yeah, buddy?
01:03I think it's the only show.
01:04I think it's the only show.
01:05Murray.
01:06Yeah, boss?
01:07You're the host.
01:08The front of house.
01:09I want you to come up with a catchphrase, okay?
01:10Okay.
01:11You got it.
01:12Showbiz.
01:13Yes, it is.
01:14And I want you to come up with a catchphrase because of it.
01:15Hanifah.
01:16Present.
01:17All right.
01:18You are the VIP of this show, and I think you know what the P stands for, but I'm not
01:20going to tell you.
01:21So I want you to stay healthy, all right?
01:23I got it.
01:24Quick question, though.
01:25Am I the only one who can't smell or taste anything?
01:27Bianca, there's 10 of these episodes, so I want you to try and stay positive, okay?
01:33F*** you.
01:34David!
01:35Yeah?
01:36You're the expert, so I want you to dress conservatively.
01:38Um, I hear you.
01:40And no family members on set.
01:42But my aunt is here, so...
01:43All right.
01:44Good show on three.
01:45Ready?
01:46Okay.
01:47One.
01:48Good show!
01:49Wait.
01:50Two.
01:51Good show!
01:52No, wait until I say three.
01:53Good show!
01:54Oh, my God.
01:55Let's go.
01:56Let's go.
01:57A show about drag queens cooking and drinking?
01:58What could possibly go wrong?
02:03Come join our parties, they live in room size.
02:08Where two teams of drag queens compete for the prize.
02:14Who will be the winner?
02:18Drag me to dinner!
02:23Hey!
02:24How are ya?
02:26Well, hey there, your highnesses.
02:28I would say ladies and gentlemen, but we all know it's not that simple.
02:31I'm Murray Hill.
02:32Please hold your applause till now.
02:34Anybody?
02:35Nobody?
02:36Oh, yeah.
02:37There's no audience.
02:38Welcome to a world of imagination.
02:41Where each episode, two teams of your favorite drag queens compete to throw the best, funniest,
02:47most drag-tastic themed dinner parties of their lives.
02:50In a show where nothing is quite as it seems.
02:54This is Drag Me to Dinner.
02:59These iconic queens will cook up fabulous food.
03:02You gotta lube it all up.
03:04Oh, s***.
03:05Oh, wow.
03:06Delicious cocktails.
03:08Sorry.
03:09Oh!
03:11Transform these ordinary rooms.
03:13Let's go!
03:15It's party time!
03:17Into fantastical party venues.
03:22Yes.
03:23All that from silica.
03:27Provides one night only entertainment for our judges.
03:30He once played Toto in a school production of Wizard of Oz.
03:33The multi-talented Neil Patrick Harris.
03:36It's all right.
03:37I was once a doctor.
03:39She's an expert on nothing, opinion on everything.
03:42Drag superstar Bianca Del Rio.
03:44I know you're gonna be shocked by this, but I'm a gay man.
03:47And from Broadway baby to leading lady, the funny and fabulous Hanufa Wood.
03:51There were lots of wieners.
03:53It was meaty.
03:54And helping the queens is life of the party, David Burka.
03:58So let the good times roll.
04:00But only one team will reign supreme.
04:03Party on!
04:05And be awarded the glorious golden grail.
04:09Yes, Daddy!
04:11And tonight, we're going to keep it tropical.
04:15So let's meet tonight's teams.
04:19My name is Bimbo Cram.
04:22All one word.
04:23No spaces.
04:24You might recognize me from some of my hit touring shows.
04:29Like Ready to be Committed.
04:31Or the Jinx and Dale Holiday Show.
04:33Or, I don't know, a bunch of other stuff.
04:35I'm Jinx Monsoon.
04:37I'm an internationally tolerated comedian.
04:41Witch.
04:42Cat mom.
04:44And homeowner.
04:46Hey everybody, it's me.
04:48Drop dead gorgeous.
04:49Larger than life.
04:50World famous drag superstar, Jackie Beat.
04:52I'm Sherry Byne and I'm an international prostitute.
04:55Performer.
04:56We made the choice to be friends and not enemies.
05:00Because it could have gone either way.
05:02It was going to be one or the other, let's be real.
05:04Jackie Beat and I met in West Hollywood in 1990.
05:09When I started doing drag, I couldn't just go watch a makeup tutorial on YouTube.
05:13Because YouTube didn't exist.
05:15The internet didn't exist.
05:18The publicity didn't exist.
05:20I was a waiter for many, many, many years.
05:22You mean a waitress.
05:23Waitress, sorry.
05:24You were a waitress.
05:25I was a waitress.
05:26My favorite parties, you know, it's less about the party itself, but who I go home with after.
05:32If Jinx and I are doing a party together, I assume there's some teas going in a bowl.
05:38I eat a lot and Sherry drinks a lot.
05:40And a dinner party is eating and drinking.
05:42So, you know, hello.
05:44Perfect.
05:45We've got this in the bag.
05:46Totally.
05:47Get out of here, Queens.
06:00Oh, my.
06:02Hi.
06:03Oh, my.
06:04Look at you.
06:05Sight for sore eyes.
06:06And boy, do I mean that.
06:08Now, what have you been doing to prepare for the big, big competition?
06:11Oh, nothing.
06:12Nothing at all.
06:13You know, we're going to have to mix drinks, right?
06:17So I've been drinking a lot and I didn't prepare at all.
06:21You didn't?
06:22No, no, no.
06:23We're all too stoned to get anything done.
06:28All right, Jackie and Sherry, do you know why you're here today?
06:31To be more famous.
06:33All right.
06:34It's so great to have you all here.
06:36Now, listen, before we begin, is there anything you both wanted to get off your chest, but
06:40you waited until we got to a cooking show to say?
06:43It's amazing to be in front of two living legends.
06:46And standing here like this, it's just like looking into some kind of horrible mirror.
06:51This is your future.
06:54I hope you two can stay successful in this business long enough to hate it as much as
06:57Sherry and I do.
07:00Words to live by.
07:02But, of course, no dinner party would be complete without a fantastic theme.
07:07And who doesn't love a theme, right?
07:09So with all the dirty details, please welcome the expert, the life of the party, David Burka.
07:18Oh, hey.
07:19Thank you, Murray.
07:20How are you?
07:21You look great.
07:22Thank you.
07:23And aloha, ladies.
07:24Oh, aloha.
07:26Tonight's theme is tropical kiki.
07:30And remember, queens, the judges will be focusing on your food and drink, design and decor,
07:35and entertainment and overall vibe.
07:39And there's so much to be inspired by.
07:40You could include rum-based punch, flaming bamboo torches, umbrella-filled drinks carved
07:45out of coconuts, hula skirts and table skirts.
07:49The possibilities are endless.
07:50And if you want to feel like you want to give up, don't worry.
07:53Each team will have two handy helpers to assist.
07:56And you better stay focused because you'll have to complete it all in a tightly edited package.
08:01What?
08:02Where can I sign for this package?
08:04And she'd also like to know what you mean by tight.
08:06You can all find out that in my dressing room.
08:09Okay.
08:10All right, queens.
08:11If you dazzle our judges the most, a spectacular bounty of prizes will be yours, including
08:17these beauties.
08:19A baby bottle full of babies.
08:21A nut sack.
08:22Tuck tape.
08:23A Cher cootery board.
08:25A bathtub of butter.
08:27Eau de Harry styles.
08:2955 gallons of lube.
08:31A high five from Bianca Del Rio herself.
08:33All the crackers you can carry.
08:36And the grandest prize of them all.
08:38The glorious Golden Grater.
08:41Because one team is great, but the other is greater.
08:48All right.
08:49Let's start the clock and release the queens.
08:53Oh my God.
08:54Move, bitch.
08:55You have 90 minutes left.
09:02What is this?
09:04So it's a tropical kiki full-on paradise.
09:08How about some decorative floral stuff?
09:13Okay, we're going to be marooned.
09:15Yes.
09:16Desert island.
09:17Dessert island.
09:18Dessert island.
09:19So if we're on an island, we need to make it look like we're out of doors.
09:22So we got to surround it with the ash.
09:24Okay.
09:25And then we should have some sand and stuff and some foliage.
09:28Obviously.
09:29What are we cooking?
09:30Oh my God.
09:31Let's do a volcano.
09:32Volcano.
09:33Out of the volcano would ooze instead of lava.
09:37Yeah.
09:38Cheese sauce.
09:39Hot cheese.
09:41It's live cheese.
09:43Cheese is delicious and it's low carb, Sherry.
09:46It is?
09:47When was the last time you ate?
09:54When did we meet?
09:55Shut up.
09:56On this island, you're going to have tons of crabs.
09:58Don't you know how triggering that is for me?
10:02You can toss the salad.
10:05Fish in the water.
10:07Aren't there boars on an island?
10:09Sliders.
10:10Yes.
10:11People freaking go nuts for sliders.
10:14We need to do a poo-poo platter.
10:16Oh.
10:17It means finger foods.
10:18Oh.
10:19Finger.
10:20I like fingering.
10:21Delicious things on skewers.
10:22Because at a party, you want to seductively feed somebody.
10:25I like the way you're thinking now.
10:27What if we make like a sand castle and then we eat it?
10:31This is the, um, well, you know what this is.
10:35Have you ever gotten sand in your mouth, though?
10:38Or like, you know, other unspeakable places?
10:41It's murder.
10:42Well, let's find out if the judges die.
10:45These contestants, I don't know how much time they have spent in the kitchen.
10:49So everyone knows Jackie and Sherry are two massive icons in the drag community.
10:54From their show-stopping hysterical stage performances to TV and film appearances,
11:00these two are fierce and fabulous drag legends.
11:03They're going to be real tough to beat tonight.
11:05Jackie, I found this material.
11:08Oh, my God, you needed some new material, bitch.
11:11It's kind of reminiscent of, like, the Golden Girls.
11:14This will be the tablecloth.
11:16Yes, this will be the tablecloth.
11:18That's what you call a piece of fabric that you put on a table.
11:21That's tiki.
11:22It's festive.
11:23It's fun.
11:24It's colorful.
11:25Let's just go mad with it.
11:27Dayla, they've already got a tablecloth.
11:29Over here, we have Bendelecram and Jinx Monsoon.
11:32These queens have toured the world together in hilarious comedy drag shows,
11:36and their holiday special is always the hottest ticket in town.
11:40But can they throw dinner parties?
11:43We'll see.
11:44Make sure it's well hung, Sherry.
11:46Girl, I always do.
11:48It's too high.
11:50If only we had a couple of helpers.
11:53Ding, ding.
11:56They're helpers.
11:57They rock!
11:58We cut it.
11:59Thank you.
12:00Hi.
12:01You guys do this.
12:02I can't handle it.
12:03Do this.
12:04What are we doing?
12:05What are we doing?
12:06Oh, yeah.
12:09Now do that to us.
12:10Yeah.
12:11Oh, okay.
12:12Oh!
12:13Oh!
12:14Oh!
12:15Well, if I wasn't tucked before.
12:19Now, I think it needs to go a little bit more that way,
12:22because the sun's going to be problematic with my eyes.
12:25So let's try it a little further to the right.
12:27Yeah, that looks good.
12:28Yeah, let's see.
12:29Okay.
12:30Okay.
12:31Ooh, now that you put it down,
12:33I think it needs to go a little more to the left.
12:36You're right.
12:37Thank you.
12:38I appreciate you.
12:39Let's do it!
12:40Thank you guys so much.
12:41Oh, gosh.
12:42Okay, ladies.
12:43Okay.
12:44So you have one hour remaining.
12:47In that time, you have to complete your food and drinks,
12:50decorate your rooms,
12:51and decide how you're going to entertain the judges.
12:54The clock is ticking.
12:55So snap to it!
12:56Chop, chop!
12:57Get down to brass tacks.
12:58Okay.
12:59We need to make a cocktail.
13:00Oh, thank God.
13:01I've been waiting all day.
13:02Not for you.
13:03For the guests.
13:04All right.
13:05But my favorite cocktail?
13:06Chardonnay out of a box.
13:07Okay, well, that's not very fancy.
13:09It's delicious.
13:10People love chardonnay.
13:12We'll put it in hollowed-out pineapples.
13:15Gorgeous idea.
13:16Thank you.
13:17You go to the bar and get the chardonnay.
13:19Okay.
13:20Hi, Murray.
13:21How are you?
13:23Well, I got to get some chardonnay.
13:25It's over here.
13:26Oh, crap.
13:27Sherry's at the bar.
13:28There's not going to be anything left.
13:30Just get one of everything.
13:32That's what I do every time I go to the liquor store.
13:35And this is for me for after the show.
13:37Murray, can you reach that for me?
13:39Okay.
13:40You got the boxed wine?
13:42Yeah, right here.
13:43Boxed wine is...
13:45Look at this.
13:46Look how butch I am.
13:47Oh, my God.
13:48Look at her go.
13:49Yes, queen.
13:50Yes!
13:51Jackie, sometimes you impress me.
13:54Yay!
13:55Come on, white wine!
13:57Yeah!
13:58What are we making?
14:00Long Island's an island, right?
14:02Desert island iced tea.
14:04Exactly.
14:05All right, stand back.
14:07I have to do math.
14:09Clear the area.
14:10You're stressing me out.
14:11Everybody stand back.
14:12Dayla's got to do something.
14:14One of those.
14:15One of these.
14:17Let's just try the table.
14:18Now, we have to center the table according to that
14:20so that I can put my feet on it when I'm reading my script.
14:22Come on!
14:23It's just a table.
14:24We're doing a table.
14:25We're doing a table.
14:26A little more to the right.
14:27My right.
14:28Yeah, let's see how that looks.
14:29Your right.
14:30Not that far.
14:31You can see she's in the rack.
14:32You guys, we have a show to do.
14:33Right now.
14:3430 minutes to go.
14:35Sherry, you having a good time talking to me?
14:37I'm having a good time.
14:38I'm having a good time.
14:39I'm having a good time.
14:40I'm having a good time.
14:41I'm having a good time.
14:42I'm having a good time.
14:43I'm having a good time.
14:44I'm having a good time.
14:45I'm having a good time.
14:46I'm having a good time.
14:47I'm having a good time.
14:48Sherry, you having a good time talking to the helpers?
14:49Yes, I am!
14:50We have these here things that one makes sandcastles out of.
14:54See?
14:55And we're going to shove sand in here.
14:56Put this cake.
14:57Don't worry.
14:58We need to move a little faster.
14:59I'm making the buttercream here.
15:01Go.
15:02Start cooking, bitch!
15:03We're already blending.
15:05Alright!
15:06Wait a minute.
15:07Ready?
15:08I'm gonna go out.
15:09Doesn't look like Daylove blended very well.
15:11Oh, we're talking about their food, not their makeup.
15:13We didn't all get a new face this year, Jackie.
15:16Oh!
15:17That was primate!
15:19Good one!
15:21I think it's becoming frosting.
15:23It really is just butter and sugar, huh?
15:26I guess.
15:27This is the first time I've really cooked.
15:29Do-do-do-do-do-do.
15:31I'm making a sandcastle.
15:32And this is a song that I'm writing about it,
15:34but it has no tune because of legal.
15:36This is looking kind of cakey.
15:38Ugh.
15:40Wow.
15:42I think I got cake in my bra.
15:49All right, here's the volcano.
15:51Oh!
15:52And it goes like that, and then it goes...
15:54And then we will put the cheese sauce inside,
15:56and it will ooze.
15:58Ooh, ooh.
15:59Got it.
16:00I could throw up.
16:01Sherry, darling, we're on a cooking show.
16:03Looking down at what we're making
16:05and saying I would rather vomit
16:07is probably not a good idea.
16:11I'm not here to move the furniture
16:13in your dressing room.
16:14I am. I want to help her out.
16:16Thank you.
16:17You're welcome.
16:19Go left.
16:20Okay, my left or his left?
16:22Left.
16:23Left.
16:24Okay.
16:25One, two, three.
16:26Left.
16:27Was that your balls?
16:28That was my balls.
16:29It was my balls, too. I'm sorry.
16:30I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
16:32Looks great.
16:34Okay.
16:35Thanks, guys.
16:36I need to go to crafty.
16:37Mother...
16:39I told you today, you're both special.
16:42Queens!
16:44I've got a trivia question for you.
16:50Somebody spent 24 hours making that card.
16:52Get ready. Come on, you like trivia.
16:54Now, whichever team shouts out the correct answer
16:57will get an extra hand from our expert,
17:00David Berka.
17:01Okay.
17:02Oh, God, I need help.
17:03And the other team will get an assist
17:05from Sue Chef, David's aunt.
17:07Here we go.
17:09What type of food holds the record
17:12for being most stolen around the globe?
17:17Spam.
17:18No.
17:19Pepperoni.
17:20No.
17:22Sausage.
17:23No.
17:24Steak.
17:25No.
17:27Okay, I'm gonna give you some hints.
17:29I'm full of...
17:30Shit.
17:31No.
17:32Balloon.
17:34Ham.
17:35Cheese.
17:37That's nice.
17:38Jake's got it and also startled the hot helpers.
17:42It's time to get a special tip from David.
17:45All right, so you earned some help from me,
17:47so let's get in here.
17:49Cool, can you make this?
17:50I'm not gonna make it for you,
17:51but I'm gonna help you.
17:52So you're gonna line this.
17:54The best thing about it
17:55is getting the right consistency here.
17:57Does this look consistent?
17:59I think that's a little too mushy.
18:02So let's get a little...
18:03Do you have more cake?
18:05Yeah, we got all this cake in the wazoo.
18:07You're gonna need a lot more cake.
18:08This is exactly how you make cake pops.
18:10Is it?
18:11You don't want it too crumbly,
18:12but you don't want it too wet.
18:13Okay.
18:14Okay?
18:15Well, you know, wetter's always better, David.
18:16Well, in some cases.
18:18Let's see if it works.
18:20All right.
18:22Oh, my God.
18:23Look at that.
18:24Thank you, David.
18:25Thank you so much.
18:26You're like family here.
18:28Abondanza!
18:30Ciao, Bella!
18:31Did someone say poo-poo platter?
18:33Oh!
18:35Uh-oh, it's Sue Chef.
18:37You need some help?
18:38Yes!
18:39Never beer, Sue Chef is here!
18:41Yay, Sue!
18:42Okay, how can I help here?
18:44Well, oh, I see.
18:46Oh, Sue!
18:47Oh, look, see-daisy-boop!
18:49Oh, I love little wieners.
18:51I'm not a fan of little wieners.
18:53Okay, well, shred some cheese here.
18:55I cut my hand!
18:57I cut my hand!
18:58Okay, okay, it's all right.
19:00I need a medical!
19:01Sue!
19:02Oh, my God.
19:03Get Sue help!
19:04Sue Chef is out of her mind.
19:07Wipe the blood off the cheese.
19:09Four minutes to go!
19:13What's going on?
19:14I'm gonna make some, uh...
19:15What are these things?
19:16Fruit.
19:17Fruit skewers.
19:19I'm furious right now.
19:21I just looked over and saw what they're doing.
19:23They're doing well, huh?
19:24Pull it together.
19:26We gotta make the thing.
19:27I know, I know, David.
19:28We're racing the clock.
19:29You love wieners and balls.
19:31I sure do.
19:32And that's gonna go on the pee-pee platter?
19:34It's a poo-poo platter.
19:35That's disgusting.
19:37Queens, you have to be inside your dining room
19:40when the curtains are closed.
19:42And they are closing in 30 seconds.
19:44What?
19:49Take this. Take the cheese sauce.
19:51Take the cheese sauce.
19:54Oh, my God.
19:55Guys!
19:59What?
20:00Kirk, what is wrong with you?
20:04Ten.
20:05Nine.
20:06Eight.
20:07Don't forget the whiff gates.
20:08Seven.
20:09Oh, this is stressful.
20:10Six.
20:11Five.
20:12Four.
20:13Three.
20:14Two.
20:15One.
20:17Jackie!
20:18Jackie!
20:19Time's up, Queens!
20:21Oh, my God.
20:22You are dumb.
20:23Way to work it out in heels.
20:25And in your case, Jackie, orthopedics.
20:27These queens have done all they can.
20:29And now they better get ready to host
20:31because it's party time!
20:43Well, we're about to venture into our first tropical kiki.
20:47But before we do, let's meet our judges.
20:50She's the star of stage, screen,
20:53and my favorite judger on the panel.
20:55It's Hanifa Wood.
20:57Hi, Murray.
20:58Looking good.
20:59By the way, you left your cufflinks on my nightstand.
21:01Oh, thanks.
21:02Did you happen to see my inhaler?
21:04No, I didn't see your inhaler.
21:05Showbiz.
21:06Oh.
21:07Our next judger is a comedian, fashion expert,
21:11and once took down a bison with her bare hands.
21:14Please welcome America's favorite erotic clown,
21:17Bianca Del Rio.
21:19Hi, Murray.
21:20How are you? Excited to be here?
21:22Oh, I was excited until I saw the contestants.
21:25Showbiz.
21:28And he's hosted major award shows,
21:30performed on Broadway,
21:31and now he's the executive producer of a cooking drag show.
21:36Say hello to Neil Patrick Harris.
21:39Hey, thanks, Murray.
21:40You're really doing an average job this episode.
21:41Thank you. Oh, good.
21:42It matches my pay.
21:44Showbiz.
21:46Well, I know I speak for all of us when I say
21:49let's hit this first dinner party at Kiki, tropically.
21:53Now, judges, please go meet David at the party door.
21:56Come on, come on, come on.
21:59Okay.
22:00It's the moment we've all been waiting for,
22:02tonight's first dinner party.
22:04And with a little television magic,
22:06I give you Jinx, Monsoon, and Benda LeCrem in Shipwrecked.
22:13Jinx, when are our unexpected guests going to arrive
22:17that we're not expecting?
22:19They're here.
22:21Oh, my goodness.
22:23Hello.
22:25Welcome to our desert island.
22:27Don't mind Captain Phillips.
22:29We've got a surprise for you.
22:31Oh, my goodness.
22:33Oh, my goodness.
22:35Oh, my goodness.
22:37Oh, my goodness.
22:39Oh, my goodness.
22:40Oh, my goodness.
22:41This is Captain Phillips.
22:42We got into a little fight earlier,
22:44and he's been a little cold and withholding,
22:46but, you know, a bone's a bone, so...
22:49Where did you get your inspiration?
22:51Well, islands exist.
22:55Great.
22:56Thank you.
22:58Anyway, I'm going to be right where the action is,
23:01because I'm the captain now.
23:03Well, as you know, we crashed on this desert island
23:06quite a few years ago, and so we're just having to make do
23:08with the things that we can find around the islands.
23:10It's a funny story.
23:11We were performing on this ship, you know,
23:13performers that we are,
23:15and suddenly the captain, Captain Phillips,
23:18became distracted by the lovely siren song of Mirdan.
23:26Okay.
23:27Also, I was blowing him at the time.
23:29Oh, that explains the sound of fear.
23:33So, if you'd like to open your menus,
23:37you each have a message in a bottle
23:39which will tell you what we're eating today.
23:42On your menu, you have quite a few selections
23:45from the locally sourced pineapples.
23:49There's these lovely sliders...
23:52Wild boar sliders.
23:54Where'd you get buns from on the island?
23:56We found a wheat deposit, you know, over in the oasis.
24:01And then...
24:04Um, yeast.
24:06Well, don't ask where I got the yeast.
24:10We have a beautiful crab salad on a banana leaf.
24:13We smell it.
24:14We have some... No, that's jinx.
24:16Radio, would you mind serving up some of the crab salad?
24:20Solid segue there.
24:22Okay.
24:23Is this food actually edible?
24:24All of it's edible.
24:26Can you tell us what you put in the crab salad?
24:28Crab.
24:29Oh.
24:30It's salad.
24:31Great.
24:32It's perfect, because as soon as we got to the island,
24:34we were like, well, what are we gonna eat?
24:36And then jinx was like, I have crabs.
24:38Oh, perfect.
24:39Did the crabs go away?
24:41Well, they don't have razors on the island, do they?
24:43They.
24:44The ambiguous they.
24:46Are there other people on the island?
24:48Listen, there were.
24:52Oh!
24:53We're having fun.
24:54Aren't we having fun?
24:55Are we?
24:56Do you have any questions about the food
24:58other than is it edible?
24:59Because we're pretty sure.
25:01Can you tell us a little bit about this sandcastle you made?
25:04Oh, yes.
25:05Bravo.
25:06This is something.
25:07It's something.
25:08So essentially, we took a bunch of sheet cake.
25:11And then we fill in the sandcastle molds.
25:15With our bare hands.
25:16Yeah, and there you have it.
25:18Well, I think it's beautiful.
25:20Oh, it's edible on this island.
25:22Well, anything's edible if you try hard enough.
25:25If you put it in your mouth and eat it.
25:27Should we do that again and not talk over each other?
25:31Well, everything's edible.
25:36Are you going to do it?
25:37Well.
25:38I didn't know who was taking it.
25:39I liked your punchline better.
25:40Well, everything's edible.
25:42If you eat it.
25:45May I try some?
25:47Well, by all means.
25:49Are you ready for dessert?
25:50You haven't finished all of that.
25:52How much would you say you weigh?
25:54Um, in stones?
25:56Oh.
25:58Are we in the UK?
26:00We're on an island.
26:02Oh, yeah.
26:04Right.
26:05Island.
26:07165 soaking wet.
26:09Oh, gosh.
26:10That'll last weeks.
26:12There's a lot of butter in this.
26:14Yeah, we're going to get you a big piece of pig.
26:17You first, baby.
26:22You proud of it?
26:24Mm-hmm.
26:25It tastes like exactly what it is.
26:30You know, it's not dry at all.
26:32Well, that's because I put my fingers in it.
26:35Where were your fingers prior to that?
26:38You want to feel that one, Mirdan?
26:43There we are.
26:44Such big pieces.
26:45Really fill up on that one.
26:46Thank you.
26:47Yeah, you're looking a little overly slender for our kids.
26:50You know, they didn't say that about me at all.
26:51They did not.
26:52Sounds like some racist s***.
26:56You like that cake?
26:57I love it.
26:58The secret ingredient is cake.
27:01Hanifa, you're overly slender.
27:03Oh, thank you.
27:04Yeah, yeah, yeah. So eat.
27:05They keep talking about our weight.
27:10I'm feeling a little uncomfortable right now.
27:12It's the cake.
27:13It's funny you mention that,
27:14because it looks like the sun's setting.
27:18Wow.
27:19Wow.
27:20And you know, there's no better way to digest
27:23than with a little night music, don't you think?
27:26Please don't let us stop your eating.
27:28No, no, no. Please, carry on.
27:30Mirdan, do you...
27:31Oh!
27:32That f***ing rock.
27:34Do you want to just try that cross again?
27:36Oh!
27:37No?
27:38I want to keep it.
27:39Okay, great.
27:41Well, so we've told them all a little bit
27:44about how we got here and everything else,
27:47and I don't know,
27:48maybe we should just provide a little entertainment.
27:50We've had a lot of time to song-write
27:52while we've been here.
27:53Entertainment, yay!
27:54Yay, lucky us.
27:57Shipwrecked on this desert isle
27:59We've been here a while
28:01It's rough
28:03We so seldom have a guest appear
28:06We're so happy you've joined us here
28:12So sit back and relax
28:14Because stress makes you stringy and tough
28:18And we've run out of our supplies
28:21So we must improvise
28:26We fed you the last of our crew and our captain
28:29We hope you've enjoyed the snack
28:32Cause the slider inside is a sailor named Taylor
28:35Not boar, in fact
28:39We fattened you up
28:40Clean your plate
28:41Lift your cup
28:42We wish to thank you all much
28:45Cause your meat we can eat
28:47For a week's worth of dinner and lunch
28:51Breakfast and Sunday brunch
28:56No, no, no, no, no, no!
29:05Alright, our second dinner party is moments away.
29:10Drag me to dinner
29:15That was a fun party.
29:16It was fun.
29:17Those girls were big.
29:20Do we know where we're going?
29:21I think so.
29:22This way.
29:26I'm not that good of an actor.
29:31Okay, it's time for tonight's second dinner party
29:34Starring Sherry Vine, Jackie B, and Cougar's Gone Coconuts.
29:46Well, our decoration looks gorgeous.
29:49And the food smells delicious.
29:51Am I going through menopause or is it really hot in here?
29:54Well, I turned the heat up
29:55because it's supposed to be a tropical climate.
29:57Well, can we at least take off these hot capes?
29:59If we're going to take off the hot capes,
30:01we're going to need our hot helpers.
30:03Oh, yes!
30:05There they are.
30:06Oh, hi.
30:07Could you help me, please?
30:08Oh, thank you.
30:11Better?
30:12No, I'm still really hot.
30:17Oh, thank you, boys.
30:19That's called a reveal.
30:21I think we should take this opportunity to relax a little.
30:24Yes, we've earned it.
30:26And it gives us a chance to show off
30:28these very expensive matching shoes we had made.
30:31Ooh!
30:33Oh, shit, they're here.
30:35Hi!
30:37Oh, my gosh, you look beautiful.
30:39Welcome.
30:40Come in, have a seat.
30:41You guys really pulled this together at the last moment.
30:44Thank you.
30:45We sure did.
30:46We really did.
30:47Now, before we start,
30:48we would like to introduce you
30:49to two very special guests sitting at the table.
30:52They are our tropical parrots.
30:55Hi.
30:56Hi.
30:57Hi.
30:58Hi.
30:59Hi.
31:00Hi.
31:01They're our tropical pets.
31:03Quack!
31:04And get this, they talk.
31:06Arr, stupid bitch.
31:10Okay, so who's drinking alcohol?
31:12That would be me.
31:13I know you.
31:14Okay, this is sex on the beach.
31:17It's really just boxed white wine
31:19in a hollowed-out pineapple,
31:21but every time Sherry has one,
31:23she ends up having...
31:24Sex on the beach.
31:26Now, does anybody like myself not drink?
31:30Where's my camera?
31:32Kids, it's cool not to drink.
31:34Don't feel peer pressure.
31:35Even though Sherry's always like,
31:36have a drink, bitch, you need to relax.
31:39Does anyone else like...
31:40I don't drink.
31:41Okay, great.
31:42And neither do I.
31:43Okay, this is my non-alcoholic sex on the beach
31:46called just friends on the beach.
31:49Isn't that nice?
31:50So stop flirting, bitch.
31:52I have a bigger problem.
31:53My pineapple is leaking.
31:55Oh, that'll happen at a certain age.
32:01Now, have you guys worked up an appetite?
32:04Yes!
32:05Let's get those meatballs!
32:08Help yourself to some of our poo-poo platters.
32:12That looks disgusting.
32:17Well, I would like to point out
32:18that this no real poo-poo
32:20went into the making of these poo-poo platters.
32:23Anyway, please eat up.
32:24I hope you guys are hungry.
32:25You didn't by any chance
32:26just come from another dinner party, did you?
32:29No.
32:30We put everything on skewers
32:31so you can erotically feed it to your table mate.
32:34Like saying you've been in a monotonous relationship
32:37for years and you need to do kinky stuff like that
32:40to keep it, you know, fresh and alive.
32:43There you go, eat that fruit.
32:45Remember, the camera adds 10 pounds.
32:48Yes, but how many cameras are on Jackie right now?
32:53Okay, we're gonna chill and eat that bird.
32:56They're quite rude.
32:57They are really, yes.
32:58I don't know where they get it from.
33:00Don't know where they get it from.
33:05Now, we have saved the climax for last.
33:09Ladies and gentlemen, it's time
33:10for the most dramatic part of the evening.
33:13One of you is a murderer.
33:20Just kidding!
33:21It was a volcano!
33:23Yes, Sherry, if you would do the honors
33:25and remove the top of our virtual Vesuvius
33:29of dairy products.
33:31No way!
33:32Yes!
33:33Hot cheese that you can dip any of your delicious items,
33:37including the fruit, you'd be surprised.
33:39Really?
33:40A salty and a sweet.
33:41But it doesn't just sit there waiting for you to dip it.
33:45Oh, no, ladies and gentlemen, get ready.
33:53It's amazing.
33:54Wow, wow.
33:56All right.
33:57Jackie, you've outdone yourself.
33:59Wait, we're gonna have to switch out now.
34:01Does it slowly warm?
34:02Is anyone in charge here?
34:03Oh, I hear people talking.
34:05The blurb, yeah, the volcano.
34:07Okay.
34:08Ooh.
34:10Oh.
34:11Jackie, crack them harder.
34:13Okay.
34:14Oh.
34:15Oh!
34:17Cheese lava!
34:19Yeah!
34:21It's amazing.
34:23The story of my sex life.
34:25This is like the penis enlarger I bought.
34:28It doesn't even work.
34:30Luckily, to save this party,
34:32we're gonna do a little show just for you.
34:34What?
34:35Yes!
34:36A tropical show.
34:38Oh, don't make me sing.
34:40Say please.
34:42Please.
34:43Hit it!
34:47My name's Jackie.
34:48And my name's Sherry.
34:49We're a whole lot of tacky with a splash of scary.
34:51But like that song, we will survive.
34:53We deserve respect for still being alive.
34:55There may be dust in our wigs.
34:57But please don't be judgmental, pig.
34:59Because we're the best, and you know it.
35:01If we don't win, you're all clown-phobic.
35:03We're numero uno.
35:05And mucho bueno.
35:06Did anyone else make a f***ing volcano?
35:08Don't get it twisted.
35:09For your information, this is old-school drag,
35:11not appropriation.
35:13Yeah!
35:15I love it!
35:17Thank you so much.
35:18Thank you.
35:19Guys, if I could get serious for just one moment.
35:22Now, I promised myself I wasn't gonna do this.
35:24Thank God I'm wearing waterproof mascara and little L's.
35:27But I just want to say that the only thing better
35:30than throwing a successful dinner party like this
35:33is performing with this person right here.
35:36What?
35:37You lying bitch.
35:39Yesterday, I heard you tell your agent,
35:41please get me out of this upcoming tour with Sherry Vine.
35:45I'm sick of sharing the money with that no-talent whore.
35:48Plus, she's driving me crazy.
35:50And I'm literally afraid I might kill her.
35:52Sprat!
35:53Sherry.
35:54Sherry.
35:57Well, thank you for being a friend, Jackie.
36:01Find out what our judges really thought in a moment.
36:05Drag me to dinner!
36:09Let's get judgy.
36:12All right, our first party was Shipwreck Island.
36:15Neil, did you have a good time at the cruise party?
36:17Yes.
36:18Ben de la Creme and Jinx Monsoon made me smile.
36:22I didn't know what to expect.
36:24We were suddenly on a shipwrecked island.
36:26This living room had been totally transformed.
36:28Every question that we posed at them, they had a response to.
36:31They were suddenly seasoning us.
36:33I suddenly realized as the evening went on
36:35that we were gonna be the main courses.
36:37I really loved their food.
36:38Their signature dish was the sandcastle cake.
36:41And they mixed the dry cake with the frosting
36:44and their consistency of the cake was spot on.
36:47It didn't look too good, but it tasted amazing.
36:50So my wife says about me.
36:54We weren't supposed to laugh that hard.
36:56But can I talk about the performance, please?
36:58They were in harmony with one another.
37:00I love their steps.
37:01It just was super professional.
37:03They were super talented.
37:04I really enjoyed myself with that.
37:06They are a well-polished act.
37:07They know what they're doing.
37:08They know how to present something to an audience.
37:10And that is one of the things that I appreciate about drag queens.
37:13Because we don't get many live performers.
37:16We get lots of queens who are gorgeous in an Instagram photo.
37:19We get lots of people that say,
37:20hey, this is my thing, this is what I'm about.
37:22But there's two things that stank.
37:25The crab salad and that f***ing ukulele.
37:27All right.
37:28So Sherry and Jackie's cougars gone coconuts.
37:32What did you think?
37:33The volcano of cheese made me laugh.
37:35The fact that it was supposed to erupt
37:37and it was a little like...
37:39Percolating.
37:40Gurgly.
37:41So on the one hand, I was underwhelmed.
37:44And on the other hand, I think in their own way,
37:46that was intentional.
37:48And that part of their bit
37:50was this kind of Golden Girls, 80s sitcom vibe.
37:54And in that, they executed brilliantly.
37:57I think they were going for this cheese factor.
38:00I like something that makes a little more effort.
38:02Like that you're gonna have to put a little more effort into.
38:04I thought their fruit skewers were really delicious.
38:07She fancy.
38:08Yeah, real fancy.
38:09Hanifa, what did you think of the theme?
38:10Did you like that everything matched?
38:12I liked that the carpet matched the drapes.
38:14I really did.
38:16Their outfit matched the decor.
38:18I mean, a little cheesy, cheeky, sure.
38:21But they actually had a really good performance.
38:23I mean, it was a little creaky.
38:25That was just their knees.
38:27I will say, hearing your critique
38:30makes me like their party almost more.
38:34Because I think they were leaning into their strength.
38:37Listen, I've been known to fly high above other people
38:40and sh... on them.
38:41So I can relate to the birds.
38:43I'm sorry, the birds really threw me off.
38:47I thought the birds were a nice way of bringing in
38:49the nastiness that you would assume you would expect
38:51from Jackie Beat and Sherry Vine.
38:53Or from you.
38:54Oh.
38:55Wow.
38:56Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight.
38:58All right.
38:59We had two great dinner parties.
39:01Do we have a front runner?
39:04This is a close one.
39:06I'm gonna say it's me, because I look like a horse.
39:09And hung like one, too.
39:11Hey!
39:12Oh, my God, we're actually finally about to find out
39:15who won!
39:17Ladies, thank you so much for involuntarily
39:20inviting us into your fake homes.
39:22I gotta say, you all throw a great shindig.
39:25Unfortunately, while both of our teams
39:27had a lovely bunch of coconuts,
39:29there can only be one top banana.
39:34So now, the winners of the glorious golden grater are...
39:45Geeks Monsoon and Ben DeLaCrim!
39:48Ah!
39:49Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!
39:51We did it.
39:53We did it.
39:54We did it.
39:55Oh, oh, oh, oh!
39:57Oh, my God.
39:58I have nothing prepared.
40:00Well, um, I just have so many people I want to thank.
40:03I mean, Dayla, obviously I want to thank Dayla.
40:06Murray, Neil, David, and you were there.
40:10And you.
40:11Oh, and Mirdan, I think I'll miss you most of all.
40:15She really will.
40:16It's just so nice to finally win something.
40:19Dayla, do you have anything you want to say?
40:22No.
40:23All right, congratulations, queens!
40:27Ladies, you finally made it in the show business.
40:30Ah, you said it!
40:33All right, well, thanks for joining us.
40:36The step and repeat in the press tent awaits you.
40:38Now, come on, go, go, go.
40:39Beat it.
40:40Beat it.
40:41Don't put your mouth in that.
40:42It's filthy.
40:43Well, Jackie, Sherry, better luck next time.
40:48Well, let's be real.
40:49There probably won't be a next time.
40:51That's okay.
40:52We had so much fun today.
40:53And, hey, they obviously need it more than we do.
40:56And you know what, Murray?
40:57You know what rhymes with sorry you lose?
41:00Jackie, take off your shoes.
41:03Oh, yay!
41:05I'm loving a loser.
41:07Yeah, go, go, knock yourselves out.
41:09Are we allowed to do this?
41:11Thank you so much for joining us here on Drag Me to Dinner.
41:14I'm Murray Hill.
41:15Good night, pals.
41:17Showbiz.